It's completely normal that you feel this way and I'm glad you're noticing these things and working on it
Finding a purpose in life can be tough but it takes time so right now I suggest exploring different things like talking with new people trying new activities and stuff like that
The fear of not being loved is also very tough but once again it takes time so try finding people that you feel like you really could connect with and also don't focus on the what ifs because they're only possibilities and aren't actually going to happen and
If the way you talk truly bothers you, you could start small and talk with people that you have the strongest relationship and build onto that, and talking is not about perfection it's about communication. I also struggle with this too because the way I talk sounds kinda muffled because of my mouth formation and a lot of people have made fun on my voice but the best thing is to just to try to stop thinking about how you sound in a voice like sometimes get into a really long conversation about a topic you like and just try not to worry about how you sound