Reminded how alone I am, on my birthday

[ebon cliff]

As im writing right now, it is my 16th birthday. My school friends congratulated me and all, and the teachers too. I was first bummed a bit about the C from biology (i have my reasons), and earlier I got bummed out and depressed when my mom was cutting the cake. She told me the same words I heard before: "The reason you're alone right now is because of your father, who didnt like anyone from my family or his, and thats why you didnt get to know your family better so it would come to your birthday. The last time you had real company was from 1-4th grade when you celebrated at the same place and invited everyone."
She instantly reminded me how alone I am in my current life, and about my 14th and 15th birthday (14th birthday I had one friend come over, 15th birthday i was all alone). I am now just so bummed out still and thinking about how I dont have any real friends, and many other problems about me. I just wish I had a true friend for my birthday right now, but my mom made me want to do nothing for the rest of this birthday. And yet again, I didnt do anything to make this birthday memorable, which puts self-pressure on me, If i dont do anything this will be like any other day and blur in, and I dont want to do anything because of how, again, im bummed. I really need support and comfort 💔😞

[tacit tusk]

Well I can be your friend

I know how it feels to be alone

I had moments too

But don't really think about it

[ebon cliff]

The thing is I want a real life friend man

I've been stuck like this for years

[tacit tusk]

Your getting bigger and stronger

[ebon cliff]

Since 5th grade i started realising people dont want to be friends with me pretty much

At 6th grade i just made peace with that info

[tacit tusk]

Well there's 8 billion people on this earth

I think there are people who would be your friend

[ebon cliff]

You dont understand enough of me but i appreciate you trying

[tacit tusk]

I dont need to understand

I see that you might be too lonely

But there will be 100% a preson for you

[ebon cliff]

You may tell me some advice and believe it can help me out but sometimes that advice is too hard for me to either accept or put into practice

[tacit tusk]

Don't lose all hope

[ebon cliff]

If only people would start the conversation and we'd have same interests

[tacit tusk]

I understand you totally

And yeah

That sucks

But

Still

It's better to have one real friend than 100 fake friend

Friends*

[ebon cliff]

I know all those quotes

[tacit tusk]

It isn't a quote

It's reality

[ebon cliff]

I know

[tacit tusk]

I want you to know thst you aren't alone

[ebon cliff]

How can you be so sure when i said i felt alone for >6 years?

I can never find a friend that will stick around

That will accept me for who i am

Someone who isnt from school

[tacit tusk]

Maybe you need to wait more to actually happen

[ebon cliff]

I just cant find those people

I am sick of waiting

I feel like im missing out on stuff

[tacit tusk]

I can be your friend

[ebon cliff]

Again, real life

[tacit tusk]

That sticks around

But yeah

I understand you

[ebon cliff]

I just cant keep being like this

I cant find anyone to be my friend

Its harder and harder when im growing older

I am already trapped

I cant find a single person

Who would be my friend

I always get into doubts if i am picky or is the problem inside me

[tacit tusk]

Soo you let them find you

Let them come to you

There will be someone

[ebon cliff]

But for how long do I have to wait?

[tacit tusk]

That will see your real side

[ebon cliff]

I need one to be secured for life

Asap

I cant keep on waiting for that person

I waited long enough

I passed ages in which most people did something memorable with their friends

I feel left out

A floater friend

An extra

I just cant anymore

[spice jackal]

Do you feel like theres nothing wrong with you but you always seem to be the one that gets left out or treated differently for some reason

If so I feel the same