#Journal Journal Journal😃
1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)
Okay, so, i'll begin i guess
Journal Journal Journal😃
I'm losing my best friend. I made a post in the journal how I'm sorry that i hurt him, i hate how i behave
He got mad, we talked because he didn't want to upset me and
said he'll be back tommorow
now he's gone, still mad, still ignoring and doen't want to talk or even see me
he said "I'm not being good for you, i'm cold and ignoring and i don't deserve" but he is still doing this
I don't want to lose him, but does he?
It feels like he's liyng, if he really really needed me, we would talk
he would at least let me talk
answer my questions
well
He doesn't
and i know, he hates me
now i am sure
I'm not mad at him, i'm awful. He made the right choice
But i wish he would at least tell me
does he really want to continue our friendship?
At least
what i really wanted to say, i just forgot
He got over me, simply left me, in a way of leaving a burden away
I didnèt
I'm still trying to talk, trying to save our friendship becuase i don't want to leave him i can't
but
it's a one way mirror
Why should i try to talk to him, if he doen't want to, or even fucking hates me?
i can't try anymore
it won't help
I can only wish that he texts me
but i think, he won't
ever
I'm sorry
here's the thing i talked about
As I see, he likes his other friends much more than me, he always did
Why did he choose me?
He always cared for other friends more than me, yet told me that "I'm important"
that i matter to him
that i'm his BEST FRIEND
ho i am not
I'm an awful friend
i often thought i hurt him
and i did, now for sure
whatever he does now, i'll be much more careful after all
We had a great friendship, but we both hurt each other a lot'
I don't know about him
but i don't want to hurt him anymore
Hi, recently feeling like a burden, I already told it in my journal, but, now it's different.
I annoy my friends, my uncle, my dad, most of the people I talk to, hell one of my friend literally hates me because of my annoyance. My uncle seems to be exhausted of me and our calls, my father us getting annoyed the moment I wake up. and I'm not whining here that I'm annoying and i can't do anything, I'm writing this because I want to do something with it, I won't be clingy anymore, won't be cold or like, anything, I'll be a decent friend, son and cousin
I'm sorry for the way I am, but I don't want to sit here and do nothing, I don't miss anyone who left me and I don't care about what people really say about me, mostly, I just want to be a decent guy
My only online friends are leaving me
It's off topic, and may sound too stupid, but like, for a year now i planned killing myself at Christmas
I don't know
I always felt like i annoy everyone, and these people proved me right, I don't know what else is here for me but a train coming at me
And, about my friends a little
So i think, they made a group without me, or just, keep avoiding me, ignore me and allat stuff, one of my best friends hates me and i think blocked me everywhere
I hate them too, each time they make me feel odd, i may don't hate, but I'm sure angry
I tried, i gave everything i could just to receive this
I'm tired
No matter what, I'll try to handle myself
I'm not erudite, no matter how gard I will try, this will all lead to failure
I won't pass it
I can't
I'm stupid
I don't see my future
Again
I don't see the future of mine, as i should
I'm father's failure, i onlt hurt and that's hurtingme
Scum
Scum like my friends
I bragged how they have no future, how they only play football and laugh
But
Who
Am
I?
Scum, a bastard
I mean nothing to anyone
And my only hope?
My girlfriend, I'll give her everything I got
She cares about me, thought our relationship started not so long ago
I wish, to give her only positive feelings and emotions
noooo
if i can’t support you, she can
i believe in your future more than my own
sooo
stay strong
for yourself
and her
Think of yourself in a first place, I'll deal with my own problems myself, and you need to focus on youo
I highly appreciate it, no joke, but i would appreciate morr if you pit yourself in your number one priority
🫂
i wish you all the best with that

And you too Sartii