Self Healing Journal KitKat :3 | The Therapy Center | Page 4

hardy flax Oct 29, 2025, 3:26 AM

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Yeah no I gotta work hard lol I aint giving up

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Altho I do gotta keep it a secret 030

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From

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Er

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My ex

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I’ll find a way

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I just need to work hard

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No slacking

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$600 a month its not even halfway for the apartments bro 😭 Ima be on the streets

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I’ll find a way

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I mean I do wanna start a new life

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But not far from my ex

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So I have things figured out

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Kinda

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Still in the process of what Ima do

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Man how am I gonna reach at least $3k a month?!

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I need to earn at least $150 a day

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😭

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Its fine

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Lashes cost like

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$100

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I need to learn that

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Ugh WHY DID MY TEACHER NOT WANNA TEACH ME STUFF??

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wtv

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Ok if I can do lashes

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Then.. $200 for 2 clients a day

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I could earn 4k

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A month

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Which isnt so bad…

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No wait

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Apartments are like between 2k-4k

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-sigh-

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I mean I lowk thought that they cost like 6k so Im good I guess???

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And I dont have a family

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So I dont have to take care of kids lol

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Im on my own

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My own living

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Let me see..

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Then its about my necessities like food, laundry, and err.. idk stuff lol

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I mean to feed a family its like $120 week lol

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Im just a human being hehehehe

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And I’ll figure things out ❤️ be independent

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See how long I can survive in this cruel world

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I’ll be poor-

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Its fine

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Just gotta be responsible

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Ima get a lecture tho-

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Ugh

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stop >:(( I gotta grow up!

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No fooling around

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Yes I prob wont have as much support from my parents cuz my mom wont be there to cook for me, and my dad wont pay stuff for me

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But Its ok

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I have god

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And friends

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I’ll figure it out

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Save up money

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See if I can go to concerts or not

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Its ok!

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Im gonna grow :3

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Its part of life

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But I shouldnt be thinking of all that :b

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I should be thinking of studying rn

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Which..

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Is what Ima do

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Soooo

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Bye

hardy flax Oct 30, 2025, 2:08 PM

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Today I woke up early

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Well its 9am

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Haha

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Tomorrow my ex is gonna send me a mss

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Wow

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Time goes by fast

hardy flax Oct 30, 2025, 3:46 PM

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Mannn I miss myex

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Btw it wasnt tomorrow

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Idk why I thought today was Friday XD

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I mean Saturday is when he text me

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Im scared for it to be the last message tho 🙂

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But its ok!

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I’ll see him in uhh

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17 days

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Yup!

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I must study hard!

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Ugh

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But its scary tho

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What if I planned to hang out with him after he’s done with college but knowing how he said that he’ll go to Florida

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Idkk

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Ufhdhejwjisk

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And he doesnt love me 😔

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No no!

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He still has feelings for me!

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What we had was real..

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Was it really real?

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Did it matter to him?

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I dont know..

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I mean I did say that he doesnt seem to care about what we had together

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And he did sounded upset when I said that and he told me to NEVER say that

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So

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I guess its not true?

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Its just that he’s rlly good at hiding his pain then ;-;

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Ugh

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I wish I was there for him thooooo

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But no no

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He wanted to break up

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So him being in pain and me being there for him wont work cuz whats the point of a break up then?

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I want him

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And he’s unsure

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And I’ll talk to him seriously once Im free

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Free as in…

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I dont have to rely on my parents on driving or money

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Free as in when Im independent

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So yeahhhh

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Ugh

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Thats gonna take monthsss

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But its ok!

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I have time!

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So I have to study

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Ugh

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How do I get him back?

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I mean look

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I want to enjoy my life yes

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But I also wanna like..

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Pursue him

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Altho

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I dont think I can really focus on two things

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I have to focus like 90% of me

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And 10% of him

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But right now its like

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My mind is

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50% of me

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And 50% of him

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And its a distraction

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I need more me yk?

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But I also want himm

hardy flax Oct 30, 2025, 7:44 PM

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Ok soooo

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So much in my mind

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Serve god ofc

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Get a job asap

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Always be there for my ex (staying loyal chat)

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DONT TELL ME TO LEAVE MY EX

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Anywaysss~~

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save up money

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A lot of saving..

gusty ferry Oct 30, 2025, 7:46 PM

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Yo

hardy flax Oct 30, 2025, 7:46 PM

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Yo

gusty ferry Oct 30, 2025, 7:46 PM

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Wsp hru

hardy flax Oct 30, 2025, 7:46 PM

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Hellooo Im good, Im just planning things out :3

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Hbu?

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How are you?

gusty ferry Oct 30, 2025, 7:47 PM

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I am NOT okay

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Holy shit man

hardy flax Oct 30, 2025, 7:47 PM

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What happened?

gusty ferry Oct 30, 2025, 7:47 PM

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Nice journal btw ion normally text in journalism pages

gusty ferry Oct 30, 2025, 7:47 PM

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hardy flax What happened?

My C PTSD dude

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I can't study cuz of it

hardy flax Oct 30, 2025, 7:47 PM

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Oh ty, my journal is rlly weird bro 😭

hardy flax Oct 30, 2025, 7:48 PM

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gusty ferry I can't study cuz of it

Oop, have u tried like other methods or sum on studying?

gusty ferry Oct 30, 2025, 7:48 PM

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Not to me tbh

gusty ferry Oct 30, 2025, 7:48 PM

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hardy flax Oop, have u tried like other methods or sum on studying?

It's not abt the methods yo 💔💔

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It's the fact that I get a migraine and I gotta stress cuz

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Alongside I got depression too

hardy flax Oct 30, 2025, 7:48 PM

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Omgg

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Do u know why u have depression? If you dont mind me asking

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Idk about migraines tho, I never rlly experienced much of that, only my ex lol

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Perhaps just relax or sum

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Brb

gusty ferry Oct 30, 2025, 7:51 PM

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Huh

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Okay so

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My depression is actually from my trauma

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Yeah

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Dude depression happens when u wanna do smth but u can't

hardy flax Oct 30, 2025, 8:28 PM

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No yeah I mean I was depressed but I didnt wanted to stay that way ykwim?

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Also Im back, sorry, just finished eating

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Like I wanted to do things but I couldnt, I barely did anything everyday. I couldnt study even when I wanted to and it sucks

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But idk, getting out of depression, I mean… you cant just sit there and do nothing. I mean yeah you can try to rest but like you need to do ur best to be active, like go out but not with group of friends

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Go out as in

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Go for a walk alone during the day, process ur emotions, think what you wanna do and figure out how to go back into study yk?

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Set small goals, seek motivation, hope. You deserve to be happy yk?

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Did u recently got depression?

thin robin Oct 30, 2025, 8:39 PM

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Sorry for being offline so much

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I tried something but it didn't work

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I've read you missed him alot, believe me I miss my ex aswell, it hurts to think she's happy about all of that, I know how it feels, except I heard she's happy, and I do believe she is, I'm starting to think she either lost feelings, started thinking I was boring or annoying, or she just got tired of me or something, maybe she never really loved me, but either way, it's time I move on, and it's gonna be difficult bcs I can't stop missing her either, but damn, I got friends who can cheer me up, so I think I'll be okay, I'm sad to hear you're not feeling well after this amount of time, I know how it is to wait for someone aswell, and I really hope it works out well for you

hardy flax Oct 30, 2025, 10:44 PM

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thin robin Sorry for being offline so much

Its okk no worries, I mean I did wonder what happened

hardy flax Oct 30, 2025, 10:45 PM

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thin robin I tried something but it didn't work

Oh sorry to hear that :c

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Knowing how ur struggling, hope things get better yk?

hardy flax Oct 30, 2025, 10:49 PM

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thin robin I've read you missed him alot, believe me I miss my ex aswell, it hurts to think...

I mean I get it how sometimes they arent rlly worth it if they dont care :(( but thats what you think about how she feels, how are you 100% sure about that? But yeah you can try to move on, I mean I feel like you have a lott of struggles that missing ur ex is another extra weight in you. But Im glad u have friends to cheer u up, and Im sure you’ll be ok.

I mean Im not 100% well but Im healing :)) I’ve been smiling more lately rather than crying. So dont worry much about me. I have things planned out, I’ll fight for my ex, and I’ll do my best to be there for him, but focus on myself overall tho. So yeah I’ll wait for him if he wants to give another chance or not, but in the meantime, Ima focus on me :3

hardy flax Oct 31, 2025, 12:06 AM

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Ah

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Im crying..

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Because I remember something that my ex told me that

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Kinda hurts

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And

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I feel like confronting about it but

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Whats the point?

hardy flax Oct 31, 2025, 9:39 AM

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I miss my ex

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I cried

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Multiple times

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I wish I can vent to my ex but

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He wont be there for me

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Not Emotionally and literally not time to be there

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He doesnt do anything

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And yeah I shouldnt expect him to do anything to help me

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Especially how I feel that we broke up

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Because he isnt committed anymore

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He shouldnt feel responsible

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He broke up with me so…

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Yeah..

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Im on my own

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But I dont hate him that Im on my own now

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I respect that he doesnt have time

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All I ask for him is respect towards me and not be rude

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Respect as in

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Being honest if he has time or not for him

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And not lead me on

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Or play with my feelings

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Ima sleep now

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Today was a bad day

hardy flax Oct 31, 2025, 5:16 PM

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Feel a bit better

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I was remembering about my ex

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Things he did and said thst hurt me

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That made me feel like I was being toyed a month ago

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But

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I must forgive and forget

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Let it slide

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He’s just making me feel like

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Idk

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Like

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“How are u really?”

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But right now its not the time to focus on that

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I miss the love of my life 😞💔

hardy flax Oct 31, 2025, 7:37 PM

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Tomorrow is when he’ll text me

hardy flax Nov 1, 2025, 2:22 AM

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Im very sleepy

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I want to study tbh

thin robin Nov 1, 2025, 3:15 PM

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hardy flax I mean I get it how sometimes they arent rlly worth it if they dont care :(( but...

Yeah I know, maybe she cares, but i got told that she has someone else now, I also got told she's happy that we broke up, I really hope god makes her regret it and try to come back, or at least let her take me back, I'm gonna be missing her for a while, I could just get myself a new one but what's the point in that if it'll just end in more heartbreak in the end, I have attachment issues and that paired with a broken heart is just not fit for another relationship, it's like I want someone but I don't, I don't know how I feel, I'll most likely wait until next year or something to try again

thin robin Nov 1, 2025, 3:20 PM

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hardy flax I was remembering about my ex

When you remember things about someone it's the worst, especially if it's someone who meant alot to you, the good moments become hurtful, and I hope he decides to give you another chance, because I want those memories to still be good and nice to think about for you, I hate being reminded of her because even when we broke up, I kept getting left on seen, late responses, as if I'm a stranger to her. Seeing that from her was the most hurtful thing she could've done, as she was NEVER like that before, always instant replies and I always got a response no matter what I said, and it was just really bad, I don't wanna even think about her but I can't stop it, and I wanna wait but I know I should move on, so bascially right now I'm just stuck

thin robin Nov 1, 2025, 3:21 PM

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hardy flax Things he did and said thst hurt me

But something even worse than remembering good memories is remember something bad they did, I get how that feels, especially because of my previous experience with a situationship

hardy flax Nov 2, 2025, 5:30 AM

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I’ll respond tomorrow, sorry, my head hurts and I had a rlly long day

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🙏🏻

thin robin Nov 2, 2025, 12:29 PM

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hardy flax I’ll respond tomorrow, sorry, my head hurts and I had a rlly long day

It's okay, I understand that, don't worry

hardy flax Nov 2, 2025, 11:59 PM

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Alrighty Im free

hardy flax Nov 2, 2025, 11:59 PM

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thin robin It's okay, I understand that, don't worry

Ty for understanding :3

hardy flax Nov 3, 2025, 12:00 AM

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thin robin Yeah I know, maybe she cares, but i got told that she has someone else now, I al...

Yeah sure! I mean try to wait, see where this goes and idk, hopefully things goes well. Dont get urself a new one if u are still heartbroken rn. Try to heal and focus on urself yk? Improve urself

hardy flax Nov 3, 2025, 12:04 AM

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thin robin When you remember things about someone it's the worst, especially if it's someon...

I get it. Yeah its hurtful for me, a lot. I hate crying about it sometimes. But what has helped me is focusing on myself. I mean right now I have to study and pass a exam so I can start working yk? And I want to live in a apartment someday so I have to save up money. I want to still live nearby where my ex lives so that I can still see him. We arent in like.. bad bad terms, he still wants us to be friends and he says how he still has “feelings” for me. So Im focused on myself in getting a job asap so I can become independent and also learn to drive and manage my own things yk? Cuz I wanna see my ex, and I know he’s busy rn so Im giving him is own time and space, in the meantime, Im just focusing on myself.

hardy flax Nov 3, 2025, 12:05 AM

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thin robin But something even worse than remembering good memories is remember something ba...

Yeah I get it. It hurts. But Im trying to forgive and forget. And yeah its hard to forget. Very very hard to forget. But thats what Im trying to do, forgive and forget.

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Rn I miss my ex

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I miss him so much

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I still hope that he still has feelings for me

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Perhaps he still kinda wants me

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I want to start over and I pray for that a lot 🙏🏻😕

hardy flax Nov 3, 2025, 12:48 AM

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Its been 3 months since the break up

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Feels like its been forever

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Eternity tbh

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Haha

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I hate it

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When we were together

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I was counting the months

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Of how long we’ve been together

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And now Ima be counting how long since we broke up???

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This sucks

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Its messed up

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I hate it

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So much

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We’ve been together for 8 months

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Haha

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Its stupid

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I miss him

hardy flax Nov 3, 2025, 2:11 AM

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Im so sleepppyyy

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I couldnt study cuz of many reasons (Im in the car lol)

hardy flax Nov 3, 2025, 5:40 AM

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Still cant study

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Gotta wait

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Until we make it to the hotel

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But either way its gonna be night time and Ima be sleepy

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Hmm

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I had a dream to go somewhere in 2 years but since its far away and my ex used to say that he’d wait for me but now like he isnt sure anymore cuz of the bull crap about “idk what the future can happen” like yeah no kidding

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I also dont know what could happen

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But jeez wheres the effort in working together?

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So like

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Screw that dream now

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Cuz I wanna be near my ex

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And try to make it work hopefully

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So I have to rent a apartment in like 2 years since my parents plan to move out far away

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And I aint going with them so I gotta get a job that can help me live alone yk?

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But lowk I find the idea rather cool in having my own studio

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I’ve seen lots of videos of decorating ur place hehe

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So its cool

hardy flax Nov 3, 2025, 6:46 AM

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Oh wow

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My ex texted me today

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I didnt even know

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I didnt like our conversation

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I hate it

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Idk

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I hate how

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We say hi

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How we say goodnight

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Its not the same

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As before

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I hate it

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I despise it so much

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I dont know if he shows interest in me

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I dont

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I cant tell

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And I hate it how he knows without a doubt that I still have feelings for him

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And when we talk its like

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Idk just friends

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And I dont like it

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This feels like a punishment

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And how I have to pretend to be ok

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Pretend to smile

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Pretend that nothing is wrong

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That Im ok

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That Im happy

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That Im enjoying myself

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When the truth is, is that I miss us a lot

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I still cry

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I keep things to myself

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Im always thinking about him

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And doing my best to not think abut him

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I miss him

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And it feels like he doesnt miss us

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He doesnt miss what we had

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He doesnt miss anything

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Like a jerk

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Why?

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Why??

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Whenever we talk

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Does it not bother him?

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Does it not make him think about what we had whenever we talk?

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Like jeez?

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Stupid

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Jerk

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So mean

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I want to be his again

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Butwhatever

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I’ll suck it up

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I’ll pretend to smile as much as I can

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Pretend like everything is ok

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Pretend that I dont miss what we had

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Pretend that I forgot about the past

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If he’s doing that

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I’ll pretend to do the same

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Haha

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Im crying

hardy flax Nov 3, 2025, 3:36 PM

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I feel more hurt

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I woke up

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Thought about him

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And yeah it hurts

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Talking to him

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But I can tell him that or else he’ll say

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“Do u wanna keep communicating?” Type of bull crap

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Like I do want to!

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But not this way

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Not like this

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I just want to be his again

hardy flax Nov 3, 2025, 8:57 PM

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Almost home

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Just like..

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Uj

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Uh

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8 more hours?

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Yep

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I wish I can study

hardy flax Nov 4, 2025, 12:40 AM

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I miss him

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I might see him

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Um

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In 13 days

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Yep

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Unless he doesnt go cuz if college then I wont see him sadly

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And in 1 month and 9 days I have my exam

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I must study

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I have to

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I want to see him

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If I study hard enough

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If I can get a job as soon as possible

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There might be a chance

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I just need to work hard

hardy flax Nov 4, 2025, 4:34 AM

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I need to figure out how to study

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I MADE IT HOMEE

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oh so

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Uh

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I struggle focusing if I study too long

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So I need a idk to do list or sum

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A schedule

hardy flax Nov 4, 2025, 5:47 AM

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I am so mad at my dad like I feel like its boiling inside of me

hardy flax Nov 4, 2025, 7:11 AM

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Welp

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Finished taking a shower

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Still mad at my dad for hiding envelopes that are important from me cuz now I gotta call the idk who so that I dont end up paying 1.5k

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I DONT WORK

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yet my dad gets mad at me

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Cuz Im overreacting like BRO IM NOT IM JUST CONCERNED

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ABOUT THIS ENVELOPE

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AND I TOLD MY DAD I WASNT MAD CUZ HES THE ONE THATS MAD

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then my dad says that he MIGHT GROUND ME

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wow

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Ground me for what?

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DEFENDING MYSELF?

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FOR FINDING OUT THAT I MAY HAVE TO PAY 1.5k??!

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jeez

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He hides this stuff from me

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Yk what?

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Fine

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Ima hide my reason to WHY IMA SAVE UP MONEY

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which is moving out

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Into a apartment

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Im sure my dad wouldnt support that idea of me moving out

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But idc

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Its my choice

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Dw

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I wont move out this year and next year

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I need to save up like 8-10k

hardy flax Nov 4, 2025, 9:32 PM

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WIDIID

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AAAAAAAAA I HATE STUDYINGG

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I swear my memory storage isnt THAT big 😭

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UGHHHHHHHHH

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Hehe

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Also it looks ugly the handwriting but its cuz I was in the car

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I CANT FOCUSJD

hardy flax Nov 6, 2025, 9:58 PM

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I feel so mad at my mom and dad

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Idk its like ever since we were about to get back home from a trip on another state

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My dad has been very moody

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My mom has been extra loud and dramatic

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We got back home

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My mom complains and complains

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About the smell, cats, floor, clothes, bed

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OMG IM SO TIRED I CANNOT HANDLE HEARING ANOTHER WORD COME OUT OF HER MOUTH

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is it just mev

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?

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Or does anyone else deal with this type of crap as well?

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Complain every single day

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I swear that vacations for me is gonna be me alone at home for a whole week

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Not nagging, no complaining, not hearing my dad all moody and say mean things,

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ESPECIALLY my dad LYING about me

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LIE LIE LIE even my mom lies about me

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Like dude, my mom talks about me

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And she tries to mimic my personality

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Ok ok

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Like

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Im the type of person who does NOT give a darn
Im chill
My voice is low-medium volume
Im NOT expressive
Im serious most of the time

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So thats me with my parents

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BUT MY MOM

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Tells her cousins, friends, and idk who about me

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About

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My character

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And when she tries to mimic me to show her friends the type of person I am

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ITS ALL FALSE

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my mom makes it sound that Im more emotional, Im so expressive, Im loud, that I worry too much about everything

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bro

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THATS ALL FALSE

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like

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Woman I dont care

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My mom makes it sound like I care

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About

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EVERYTHING

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when I DONT

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she just spreads false information about me

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My mom has a big mouth in also talking crap about me

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including my dad

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Like are all parents like this?

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Why?

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What do they gain from this?????

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Cuz literally my mom is

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Making me

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=-=

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nvm

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Then my dad wanting to ground me all because of some stupid envelope I got

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Yeah he may be close to grounding me

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But I PROMISE you that I will NOT help my dad in achieving his dream house that he wants

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Cuz my dad claims that me and him will save up money for a house that my dad wants

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And ofc Im gonna help him

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But if he keeps acting like he owns me, and that whatever he wants he gets it

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Nuh uh

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Im not helping

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So watch out

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Cuz they’re ticking my off

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And sucked up a lot of things

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Because yes I was a little girl

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But now if I keep seeing so many unfair situations

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between me and my parents

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Thats where I draw the line

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Im sorry but Im done with all the bs around the house

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IN FACT

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omg

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IN FACT

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Even MORE reason for me to save enough money to move out

hardy flax Nov 7, 2025, 2:50 AM

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Im having a hard day today..

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I wish everything was a lie that he said

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I cried a lot today

hardy flax Nov 7, 2025, 4:57 AM

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I feel sad

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I cried again

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And more

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So much confusion

hardy flax Nov 7, 2025, 9:01 PM

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I think my ex will be in our car on Nov 16

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I think

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Not 100%

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altho

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I do feel excited

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Which..

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I shouldnt

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Cuz we broke up

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Like 99 days ago

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Ugh

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He prob wont even talk to me

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We’ll be in the car but he’ll take his computer and try to do his assignments

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We wont even talk..

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ugh

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What was I thinking?

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He most likely didnt even listen to the audio I sent him when I told him that I’ll try to be there for him

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Oh well

hardy flax Nov 8, 2025, 6:47 AM

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I cried in the shower

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I was thinking about me and my ex and the moments we shared together

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…

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Yeah..

hardy flax Nov 8, 2025, 6:20 PM

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I wonder if my ex will text me today

#

Or tomorrow

#

I know he cant be that busy like

#

Idk dude

#

But

#

Its fine

#

Idk what he’s thinking

#

Whats his goal

#

What he’s avoiding

#

From me?

#

Dunno

#

Its been 100 days now since we broke up

#

Wow

#

I really didnt wanted that to come true

#

I guess it did now

hardy flax Nov 8, 2025, 8:31 PM

#

I cried

#

Again

#

Ugh

#

Im back into crying everyday again..

#

This sucks

hardy flax Nov 8, 2025, 9:13 PM

#

I cried again the 3rd time today

#

Its so stupid how my ex says “Im worried about you how u keep crying”

#

Bro

#

What do u expect?

#

For me to be fine that we broke up???!!

#

To be okay with everything?!

#

EVERYTHING??

#

TO DISREGARD OF WHAT I WANTED?

#

What we used to want???

#

want me to abandon what I dreamed to have???

#

Abandon that idea?

#

Do u think its so easy??!

#

Abandon the dream of having a family together?

#

to marry you?!

hardy flax Nov 8, 2025, 11:52 PM

#

Im going to go to the meeting soon

#

I kinda hoped my ex would text me today

#

Maybe tomorrow then

#

Its not like we’ll talk a lot either way

#

But its ok

#

We have like one month and 4 days until he’s done with school

#

Tbh

#

I dont know how to feel about that

#

I mean

#

He wont be done with school lol

#

I mean the semester haha

#

But uh

#

By then I hope I pass this exam

#

Ever since the break up I couldnt focus

#

If I fail this exam

#

I actually dont know what to do anymore

#

And Im scared that a part of me is going to blame him

#

But I’ll try to avoid that possibility

#

I need to concentrate

#

Let me see..

hardy flax Nov 9, 2025, 12:22 AM

#

So basically

#

Hair, scalp, and nail analysis I have a 53%

#

and honestly..

#

Its hard

#

Lol

#

But I should be a bit better this time now tho

#

Hair removal I have 25%

#

which..

#

Yeah its hard..

#

Cuz its related to chemical and I suck at chemical

#

Cuz on Chemical I have 60%

#

but Im sure it’ll get worse idk

#

Then skin care is 50%

#

Makeup is 25%

#

haircutting is 58%

#

and the rest like

#

Nails 92% which is good

#

Safety and infection control is 80%

#

Client consultation is 100%

#

Hairstyling is 83%

#

so

#

I need to have at least 73% to pass

#

Not on each subject no

#

I mean in total

#

Of the whole subject

#

Ugh

#

Please brain

#

THINK

#

ABOUT

#

WHAT WE LEARNED

#

NOT GAMES OR ANIME

#

If I were to see my ex again irl

#

Well..

#

Soon

#

Then Ima try to not talk about myself

#

And ask him more of himself

#

Yk?

#

I mean

#

I cant just talk me me me me

#

I gotta let him have a voice too

#

I just get excited whenever Im with him that I yap a lot

#

But now Ima be quiet

hardy flax Nov 9, 2025, 5:32 AM

#

Head hurts bro

#

Idk why

hardy flax Nov 10, 2025, 7:34 AM

#

A part of me still feels sad yk?

#

Its been 101 days since the break up

#

What if I count backwards of like…

#

When he finishes 4 years of college

#

Maybe 5 since he’s thinking of taking accounting

#

And its like 5 years

#

Mm

#

I’ll do 4 years

#

Soo

#

Until 2029 June 18

#

It’ll take 1,317 days

#

A lot

#

Its even longer than my 989 Duolingo streak

#

But mkay

#

1317 days

#

In 17 days we’ll reach to 1300

#

Its like what my parents always say

#

One more day, will be a day less

#

1000 days left will be on September

#

Almost a year

#

And September is my birthday haha

#

I would turn 20

#

Man Ima be oldddd

hardy flax Nov 10, 2025, 9:21 AM

#

I miss my ex

#

Ofc I do!

#

Why wouldnt I?

#

I love him

#

A lot

hardy flax Nov 10, 2025, 9:31 PM

#

Well

#

I DONT WANNA STUDYDY

#

no no

#

I have too!

#

I gots to!

#

I can do it!

#

Yeh!

#

I got this!

#

Exam is like one month and 2 days

#

I need to focus

#

So

#

I made a plan

#

Finish learning Waxing and hair properties asap

#

For like.. idk.. in 4 days

#

Thats my goal!

hardy flax Nov 11, 2025, 9:20 AM

#

Ok soo

#

I learned hair textures

#

Well Im still learning actually…

#

#

So far these are my notes

#

Today I did Head forms and

#

Ok ok

#

Im

#

Kindaaa done with Hair texture

#

Just not completely

hardy flax Nov 11, 2025, 10:02 AM

#

Mkay Im at the facial shapes now

#

Altho my tablet has 1%

#

so its charging rn

#

Im a bit sleepy since its 2am

#

Oh

#

Also

#

On Thursday

#

Ima go to my exs step moms house

#

Or idk

#

My exs dads house

#

Well his step mom wants to make like a sleep over

#

Not really a sleep over

#

She thought about it but we said no idk why lol

#

So

#

She wants to make like a uhh

#

Girls hangout

#

Tbh

#

I dont feel so girly

#

Like

#

If we were to do skin care

#

Pedicure

#

Manicure

#

Or uhhh

#

Lots of “hehehehehe”

#

Idk dude

#

Im not so emotionally excited “EEEEEE X3” type of person

#

BUT

#

Since they mentioned games

#

Say lesssss

#

I’ll bring board games

#

But like..

#

Watch a movie?

#

Ehhhhhhh

#

Finee

#

As long as it isnt romance since Im still dealing with the heart break yk?

#

But I mean

#

Since its a girls night or wtv

#

They obviously gonna wanna watch something romantic

#

😓

#

I’ll just bring earphones and secretly listen to music and sit wayy in the back

#

Or secretly watch star wars series

#

On my phone

#

Hmmm

#

Idk what to do now

#

My tablet is charging so I cant rlly study

#

I could review the cosmetology book tho

#

Just reminders of stuff

#

I also gotta do my room

#

The thing is

#

I want more space

#

Soooo

#

I gotta organize my room and throw some stuff away

hardy flax Nov 11, 2025, 10:46 AM

#

Oki dokiii

#

So farrr

#

#

I just need to uhh

#

Sleep rn

#

Tomorrow or

#

Later today

#

Ima finish the Facial shapes hairstyle

#

Then Ima try to learn a bit more of Waxing stuff/hair removal

#

Just like learn a bit more

#

Maybe like write down 20 things to remember

#

after that

#

Ima doooo

#

Profile and proportions of the face, which will take kinda long since its A LOT to remember

#

Look

#

#

#

Then after that Ima get back into learning a extra 20 stuff about waxing/hair removal

#

My goal is to remember

#

The important stuff

#

For my exam

#

ESPECIALLY

#

Haircutting

#

Which

#

I hope to be on haircutting chapter next week

#

I better dudeee

#

Exam is almost closee

#

Sooo

#

Ima go to sleep

hardy flax Nov 12, 2025, 1:24 AM

#

Putting lash extensions on my sister

hardy flax Nov 12, 2025, 2:50 AM

#

Done

hardy flax Nov 12, 2025, 3:56 AM

#

It took me 2-3hours

#

Back pain is real btw

#

And neck pain

#

I miss my ex as always

#

Its been 103 days

#

I think

#

Yep

#

Uh

hardy flax Nov 12, 2025, 4:25 AM

#

IM CRAVING FOR DONUTS

#

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

hardy flax Nov 12, 2025, 9:30 AM

#

Im sleepy

hardy flax Nov 13, 2025, 8:14 AM

#

I miss my ex lol

#

I really really do bro

#

Ima go to his dads house tomorrow

#

Altho I wont see my ex cuz he is at his moms house (his parents are divorced) for like tomorrow and on Friday he goes to his dads house

#

But I will see my ex

#

Not staurday

#

But sunday

#

Soooo yeah

#

I should study rn

#

Ima try to memorize like

#

Nails diseases that are onychosis

#

Which is a lot

#

Cuz theres

#

Onychomycosis
Onychocrytosis
Onychophagy
Onychoooo idk what lol

#

UGHHH I WANT MY EX lol

#

I miss him bro

#

I love him

#

Still

#

Yeah

hardy flax Nov 14, 2025, 8:36 AM

#

Ughhhh I wish I could

hardy flax Nov 14, 2025, 9:39 AM

#

I wanna tell my ex to never leave me so that I can be in “peace”

#

I dont want him to think that he cant bring me happiness and that I should find someone else

#

I choose him

#

I can meet many people

#

Yet I want to choose him

#

Constantly

#

Daily

#

Weekly

#

Yearly

#

Choose him

#

Even if it takes years

#

Because

#

Im still passionate

#

Maybe not that crazy as before

#

Cuz Im trying not to be crazy about it

#

But like

#

I still want him

#

All I say is

#

He’s the person I still love

#

I’ll let time pass by

#

And still continue to love him

#

I love him

#

Too much

#

Even when its been 106 days

#

I love him

#

He prob thinks rn..

#

That my feelings are temporary

#

But I wanna love him

#

Unconditionally

#

Even if he doesnt love me

#

Even when to this day it hurts so much

hardy flax Nov 14, 2025, 10:17 AM

#

I still wanna love him

#

Like

#

Look

#

Lets say

#

A guy who is 1 or 2 years older than me or even the same age as mine

#

Comes around

#

We have the same taste in music

#

Same anime liking

#

We both watch one piece and yes I would talk about one piece non stop lol

#

Cuz its one of my fav topics of all time

#

We have the same game liking

#

He is funny

#

He yaps a lot

#

He uhhh…..0

#

He works well

#

He can buy me stuff

#

He has time for me

#

He makes me laugh

#

He wants to talk to me

#

But

#

Theres my ex

#

I still wanna talk to my ex tho

#

I want to laugh with him

#

I love him

#

And so

#

My ex says that Im gonna miss out in being with another guy

#

But like

#

I want him

#

It feels like he’s worth waiting for

#

And I want and dreamed to have a life with him

#

And share my life with him

#

The thing is

#

Right now

#

It isnt the right time for both of us to date

#

But I cant be with another guy

#

When I still deeply love the boy I fell in love with

#

The boy who made me feel like I mattered

#

The boy who I wanted to take care of so so much

#

The boy who I deeply love

#

To me he is a lot

#

He means a lot to me

#

I fell in love with my ex

#

I cant fall in love with another guy when someone already has my heart

#

He has it

#

Im happy my ex has it

hardy flax Nov 15, 2025, 5:21 AM

#

Gas prices are expensive

#

$5 per gallon

#

Too much haha

#

Its gonna be hard living alone

#

I cant believe I have to keep paying tho like.. for my dads dream house

#

I have no idea how Im going to do that

#

I mean like

#

Idk if we work together hard

#

Perhaps have like..

#

$70k?

#

I doesnt sound so bad

#

Since like

#

Idk houses that my dad wants cost like nearly 300k I think

#

No wait

#

I actually forgot lol

#

But idk

#

Its hard saving up a ton of money

#

And I want to live in a apartment of my own

#

How can I deal with monthly rent

#

Gas prices

#

Food

#

Necessities

#

And what?

#

Savings for a trip for Japan

#

Or like hanging out

#

Or concerts

#

Its a lot lol

#

But we all start small

#

So

#

Its kinda funny tho

#

Because when someone looks at like prices

#

For example 15 dollars for a cake, a person can think like.. 1hr work rather than $15 price yk?

#

1hr = a cake

#

Haha

#

Or like over 24hrs for monthly rent

#

But yeah uh

#

I wonder how will I calculate yk?

#

Like

#

1 lash extensions can help me with a whole month of gas

#

Cuz like

#

Lash extensions are expensive

#

They’re like $90-140

#

Or like uhh

#

22 lash extensions to pay my monthly rent yk?

#

Hahahaha

#

I mean I think ppl do like during the day 3-6 max of lash extensions

#

So it can take for me like..

#

Almost 2 weeks

#

Not bad yk?

#

Man..

#

I have to work rlly hard

#

Hahaa

#

I miss my ex tho

#

I sent him a message “I miss you”

#

Just for curiosity to see what he’ll say

#

I dont think he’ll bother to reply it tho

#

Im gonna see my ex soon tho

#

In like

#

36 hours

#

Yeah Im counting the hours lol

#

I shouldnt be too excited tho

#

Not sure if he rlly cares

#

Or feels the same way as me :((

#

Oh well

hardy flax Nov 15, 2025, 6:42 AM

#

Welp

#

Im crying

#

Haha..

hardy flax Nov 15, 2025, 8:30 AM

#

Prob gonna do all nighters

#

Just for to ight

#

Tonight*

#

Inzz

#

In..

#

32 hours

#

Ima see my ex

hardy flax Nov 15, 2025, 9:02 AM

#

Im crying again

hardy flax Nov 15, 2025, 9:19 AM

#

Im crying a lot again

#

A lot

#

Im still crying

#

And its been almost 20 minutes

#

I miss him

#

Im just remembering what he said to me

#

It hurts

#

Its funny

#

When I rlly want him rn

#

For comfort

#

He isnt available

#

Which is why he thinks it best for me to be with someone else to

#

Heal the scars

#

Or wounds

hardy flax Nov 15, 2025, 1:19 PM

#

Its 5 am

#

I have to go to sleep

#

And wake up at 9

#

I guess

#

Im tired haha

#

I have to try to wake up early so that uh

#

I can fold clothes

#

Vacuum and mop the living room and kitchen.

#

Then.. uh

#

Uh I think thats it

#

I dont need to take out the trash…

hardy flax Nov 15, 2025, 5:42 PM

#

Gonna see my ex in..

#

23 hours

#

Yep

#

Im sleepy

#

But

#

I got work to do

#

I slept for like 3 hours and thsts it

#

Coffee would be great but Im good..

hardy flax Nov 15, 2025, 6:11 PM

#

I miss my exxx

#

But Ima see him in uh

#

22 hours actually

hardy flax Nov 15, 2025, 7:11 PM

#

I have been writing

#

Well

#

I actually

#

Wrote

#

Like

#

Almost a wholeeee hour

#

Of a letter towards my ex, but I dont plan to give it to him

#

It says a lot haha

#

But yeh I wrote like 2 whole pages

#

I put a lot of thought into it

#

Expressing how I feel

#

Lately I’ve been

#

Focused on other things that I’ve been writing less

#

But since I had time to write for hi

#

Him rn*

#

i wrote a lot

#

Im glad I didnt cry

#

Cuz I was about to

#

Im so sleepy

#

But I have things to do

#

Before my parents come

#

I wonder how my ex is doing tho

#

I keep thinking about him 24/7

#

I mean I did studied

#

Watch anime

#

Did chores

#

How do I get my ex back?

#

How can I talk to him about what I’ve been thinking?

#

I mean

#

Im sure he doesnt rlly have time

#

To focus on that

#

But

#

Im hoping on December he will

hardy flax Nov 15, 2025, 8:56 PM

#

Innn

#

In almost 19 hours I’ll see my ex

#

Ima take a nap tho

#

I slept only 3 hours haha

#Self Healing Journal KitKat :3