#jealousy issues

38 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

dreamy hemlock
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Like literally someone help me I want to trust him but I just can't
I want this to work I love him with my whole heart but I feel like every little thing he does is micro cheating

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I talked to him about this, especially got mad various time about him looking at other women and he said he doesn't do it on purpose and he is just looking around

pearl jackal
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hey, this is a very bad issue. i can see how much u care about ur bf but honestly the way u are feeling and reacting isn't fair to him at all. this behaviour is not acceptable. he hasnt done anything wrong because women will exist around him. you literally can't remove women around him because its normal. like do you seriously think its not normal to have half naked women in a swimming pool?there will be half naked men too. you gotta chill out. by getting jealous or wanting to control him, u are punishing him for things he isn't even doing. that kinda jealousy can really damage a relationship. no matter how much love there is. he clearly treats u well and values you, so he doesn't deserve to be seen as if he's ‘micro cheating’ just for existing around other women. the real issue isn’t him. it’s the insecurity and lack of trust YOU are having inside yourself. if you truly love him and want ur relationship to work, the best thing you can do is work on those feelings, because if u won't work on ur jealousy now, it'll increase to a next level and that will be very bad. it will start affecting your real life (as its already doing). talk it out with someone you trust or a therapist instead of taking it out on ur bf. if you dont, the relationship will eventually come to and end and ur bf will breakup because he'll realize he doesn't deserve to get treated like that.

dreamy hemlock
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So basically I am doing my best to trust him but everytime I'm at a point I can do that something happens
Like for example 3 weeks ago I found in his followings a girl that had all of her posts of herself half naked and I don't think I've ever been so heartbroken in my entire life
I started to question myself if he really loved me like he says he does and he told me he followed that girl years ago
The other time he happened to tell me guys naturally look at women's private parts and ||imagine how it feels to fuck them|| and that now that he's with me he doesn't do it anymore but I can't seem to trust him no matter what he says

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I am so scared of being cheated on or that he would lust on other women

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I don't want to be controlling but I feel like he's the only person who would be with someone as ugly as me

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I know that what i feel is wrong but when i see married men/dating men looking at me NEXT TO THEIR LOVED ONE I can't help but feel like this again

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I know not all men are like this but betrayal always comes from those that u trust most and I feel so bad lately

pearl jackal
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I'm really sorry for assuming that your behaviour was bad

dreamy hemlock
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He said like he did it 3 years ago and forgot to remove her

pearl jackal
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Because its your bf’s fault too

dreamy hemlock
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No it's ok I'm also looking for criticism

pearl jackal
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He's giving you trust issues

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Jealousy is something you can work on and fix it

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But him not giving you enough reassurance is just bad. If you can't even trust him, then the relationship is doomed.

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Trust is the main thing required for a relationship

dreamy hemlock
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I deleted my old message but I've liked him for 4 years before he decided to be with me and I feel embarrassed thinking about breaking up with him because I've always been obsessed with him

dreamy hemlock
pearl jackal
pearl jackal
pearl jackal
# dreamy hemlock I know not all men are like this but betrayal always comes from those that u tru...

honestly based on whatever you've told me,

you do have jealous issues and you should work on it. you also have trust issues but thats not your fault.

do you think ur bf is treating u right?
do u think you can trust him?

if you don't trust him, you should have a conversation with him about this whole situation.

and honestly, to me, your bf sounds like a guy who's a weirdo, and a ||pervert|| who's making up things to justify his weird behaviour. and now, i also feel like he maybe looking at other women on purpose (checking them out).

dreamy hemlock
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He treats me amazingly

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But yeah I don't know

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It makes me really sad he said those things

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But when I think about it most men I know have said similar things

pearl jackal
dreamy hemlock
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So I don't know if he was trying to justify himself or be honest

pearl jackal
dreamy hemlock
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😞

pearl jackal
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honestly i think you should just communicate to him that all these things are bugging you and u should say you feel like breaking up cuz its hurting you very much

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then based on his reactions you will have to take a step

dreamy hemlock
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I will

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Thank you 😊

pearl jackal
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yes I'm here for you, keep me updated (if u want) ♥️

dreamy hemlock
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It made me feel much better now that i talked about it