#Break up NEED HELP

29 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

viscid laurel
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So i broke up with my girl(1 year 8months rltnshp) almost exactly 2 months ago. It was me who broke up and the only reasons i can come up with is cuz she was beginning to act like a total bitch and was manipulative ash.

She comes from a poorer family and has very bad history with her last bf before me and she has problems in her family with drinking and fighting parents and i tried to help her as much as i could. I was there for her all the time and stuff and i never talked to other girls(litteraly c4t off friend of 6 years cuz she was insecure i was talking to a girl online) did tell her that irl friends cant be c8t off but anyway she was okay with that. She kept checking my phone 2 times a day if we met and if it was at my house she'd do it 4 or so times. I felt that seeing the history with her last bf(he tried to force her to fk and shit) it was normal. Afterwards she went into a hard time and as soon as we got in an argument or something because of something i or she did she'd straight up say "im gonna kls if you break up with me"
"I might start cuiing..." and shit like that. It felt very very very trapping knowing that if she was not kidding i would be at fault for her dah so last 3 months of relationship i wanted to break up but didnt out of being scared for her.
(Part 2 in replies cuz too much characters)

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YES

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It worked

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Now basically i spent around 1k in that timeline gifted her everything i could and after i got her a nail course she was asking for a long time. She was so ungrateful and even got mad at me because "why would u get it for me" idek..
Then i said we can go with my family to the beach for a few days she agreed we went and she was super excited. Then after we had an argument a few days later she started saying how bad i am cuz i cant choose a good trip or gift for her. It was tiring .

Last part. IT ALL SOUNDS SO BAD. But i rlly wanna go back to her(i'd explain reason in dms deeper) but mostly cuz i miss her and i dont feel much attraction to any girl after this break up.
But the relationship with her scarred me a bit for some reasons i can disclose privately.

Help me please or just give advice or just be my moot or friend on dc 🙁

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Finally

viscid laurel
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Please someone give me advice

viscid laurel
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Bump

viscid laurel
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Bump.

thick locust
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Hey sorry for the late reply but from what I've seen, you're experiencing really terrible emotional manipulation.

Threatening to harm herself when you tried to leave wasn’t “normal because of her past,” it was basically atactic to trap you in the relationship. Even if she didn’t mean it, it kept you from making decisions freely and feeling relatively at peace.

Constant phone checking, cutting you off from friends, and making you feel guilty for not choosing “good enough” trips or gifts are sure signs of controlling behavior.

We all miss people, that's being human. And as someone who got broken up with just 20 hours ago I really feel you man. When someone has been in your life for that long, you will miss them. That's normal yes, even if they treated you badly.

Trauma bonding can make you feel like you “need” someone who hurt you, because the highs feel very high after the lows. I am also a victim of this.

Going back now will likely repeat the cycle.

If nothing has changed in her behavior or mental health, no improvements, you’ll probably face the same manipulation and emotional instability again. She needs professional help.

If you're still worried about her safety, you can check in but without romantic intention. If you sense or notice that she's about to spiral, you can tell her that you're there as a friend. And maybe reach out to her family members if things get too complicated.

Right now, your brain is mixing love with relief from loneliness, but your past with her already shows that you’d be putting yourself back into an unhealthy, controlling environment. If you want my honest advice.. heal first, rebuild your sense of self, then decide it from a place of strength, not from missing her and giving in to yearning.

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@viscid laurel

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Please don't go back to her, man
I say this while I'm actively trying to get my avoidant attached ex back so we're kind of in the same boat but please do take my advice

viscid laurel
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We couls ong apeak bout this a shit ton

thick locust
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Hopefully it'll help you though, just resist those temptations and over time you'll make so much good progress

viscid laurel
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Goodnight thoo

viscid laurel
thick locust
thick locust
viscid laurel
viscid laurel
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Shes stuck in another city messaged me cuz she needs help getting a ride. She went out with all over 18age people and got left

viscid laurel
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@tranquil quiver here

forest apex
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i urge you to stay clear for YOUR sake and YOUR wellbeinging mentally.

you can DM me for further discussion and ill happy explain why i know how this ends should you want 🙂

viscid laurel
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Tho

viscid laurel
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Bump i need opinionss

forest apex
# viscid laurel I left her

You did the right thing. You can be there for her but not in a romantic sense. Youll most likely get hurt.

Let her first first