giving up

[silent steeple]

I'm 19, and my life has just been disappointment. I'm just going to start from about four years ago. I am a homosexual in a super super rural town in alabama, I have always had issues with school bullying and things like that. It caused mental health issues but nothing unmanageable, but then when i got to high school the administration started to partake in my suffering. They called me upto the office every. single. day. saying i made bomb threats, i was "harassing" and "disturbing" people until they got me on juvenile probabation. i knew from that point on that i just had to get out, i had to move. I was unsuccessful in my begging of a new life, they arrested me on my 16th birthday for "Online Bullying" but I hadn't even had a phone for a few days at that point. I spent 11 months in a wilderness program for something I never even did. It was okay, i felt more at peace and safe in the camp than i do now, or ever really. I got myself into a place where when i would come home, i could just finish school and go to college. None of that happened, i was randomly discharged from the program and set back into my house. When I got back my mom had married a new man, some random drug addict who could give a shit less about me. He is pretty abusive at times, but i'm used to living a life like this. My mom was hard on drugs ever since I got back, and refused to put me into any school. I lost all of my high school progress, and fell into the deepest depression of my life. I just recently went and got my ged, i was so excited thinking maybe i could get out of this town, maybe i will make something of myself, but no. I have no GPA, no letters of recommendation, no extracurricular activities, fuck i don't even have a license and i'm turning 20 this year. So I give up. I've tried finding connection here but it's impossible because every man treats me as if i am just a toy, i can't get a higher education somewhere other than here, and i'm stuck in a abusive home with no way out.

[clear raft]

can u not go community college?

no gpa requirement and it's free

if u get ur license and a car u can just pick a community college, enroll, apply for jobs until you get a couple in the area

and then just drive there and never go back

it'll be hard though i won't bullshit u it'll probably suck for a while you'll most likely need to work a lot to afford rent for yourself and stuff

but there's always a way out bro

don't give up too early bro 🙏 just because it sucks right now and has in the past doesn't mean that determines your future

i don't mean to be overly positive and downplay the shit ur going through though bro

[fiery wren]

I’m really sorry you’ve been through all that. That sounds incredibly painful and unfair — especially being misunderstood and mistreated by people who were supposed to protect you. You’ve shown insane strength just by surviving all of that. Seriously.
I get why you feel stuck and like giving up. But honestly, the fact that you did get your GED, after everything, is a huge deal. That shows you still want better for yourself, even if it’s hard to see the path right now. You might not have the perfect resume or a clear plan yet, but that doesn’t mean your life is over or that you won’t get out. Sometimes the next step is just a tiny one — like looking into online colleges that don’t require a GPA or trying to get your license when you can, even if it takes a while. There are also nonprofits and resources for people in abusive situations or LGBTQ+ folks in rural areas that could help you find safer housing or support.