#I need opinions.

22 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

digital stratus
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obviously there should be compromise but if you want different things then you want different things you know shrug not to be a downer or anything but also your 18-19 you don’t have to start getting serious just yet you still have years to decide what you want to do with your life you know?? allow yourself to have fun and get into the serious shit later

dim coyote
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Yes, but im specifically talking about the future because that’s what me and him always talked about.

digital stratus
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how long have you been with this guy also?

spiral kestrel
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This sounds like the start of something that will end up with a breakup cause having kids is probably one of the biggest dealbreakers for people whether you want them, how many, when, etc. OH SHI YOURE 18-19 Yea you should probably think about the relationship and if your morals, values, and goals all align with your bf. Obviously not all will but its important that you check what you need the most in your life. Otherwise it'd would be best to step away from it all and find something that does fit your needs and wants.

The other option is simply communicating it wayyy further and going deep into it with him about why you want kids early. Whatever your reason, he should respect it but see how he reacts and depending on that you can make a decision of dipping out of that relationship.

Like its harsh to say just end things but you also have to think about the future, do you really want to spend time knowing he will never agree with you just for it to eventually end. Or break things off where you can reevaluate your needs to find someone "better for you"

digital stratus
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i assume this is long term otherwise yall wouldn’t be thinking about kids LOL

dim coyote
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Well we been together for like 3 years almost 4 but yeah obviously i want to get life together, have my fun and stuff but when it comes to that soon not everything is going to align together and he forcefully wants me to have kids at 39 or in my 40s when i was letting him know my thoughts and remember their can be pregnancy complications and stuff if u were to give birth in those type of age like a bunch of stuff can happen yk

digital stratus
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i think compromising on children can be dangerous lowkey

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because if you go too early you may feel like you rushed into it too fast and that could cause resentment, but too late could cause potential risks and stuff

dim coyote
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Well i don’t want kids early so that’s why i said in my late 20s or early 30s i do want in the future but not js at 40 because that’s not it for me

spiral kestrel
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@dim coyote do you wwant to step into voice chat?

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otherwise i rewrite what i was gonna say

dim coyote
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Sorry, not right now but i surely do wanna hear what u have to say!

brave cliff
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whether it has been expressed or not

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It is kind of commonsense that womens best child bearing years are mid 20's to mid 30's

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so 40 is a bit ridiculous, and your partner seems a tad immature

spiral kestrel
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I'm not saying you should leave this guy over this but definitely talk to him way more about it. If it ends up being a negative response I would suggest breaking it off because that itself is a start of disaster down the road.

Then you start going into other relationships and experiences, since youre in such a long term relationship with 1 person that im guessing was your first bf, your views might be blinded since you havent really experienced the fact that sometimes ppl are just not meant to be. Thats it and you find what you need. In summary. Thats really it and yes try to talk with him. again if he becomes ignorant about the topic... theres not much else you can do.

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Who knows maybe you can slowly sway him over time, but what if you dont. You'll end up wasting your time prtty much

dim coyote
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Okay, thank you so much i was looking for that type of opinion thank you ‼️

dim coyote
brave cliff
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glad i could be of service