is it possibile to find true love?

[faint wing]

with that i mean if it’s possibile to be attracted and devoted to only one person, and the other person feels the same about you

[daring olive]

I think it is possible but it's just incredibly difficult

[faint wing]

i think it's not

if I'm being totally realistic

[daring olive]

That makes sense but I do know it exists, I've met folks who are like that and consider each other there true love, I just think it's extremely hard to find one and takes a lot of time

[faint wing]

yes but don’t you think they are just lying to themselves saying they only feel attracted to one person?

that’s not how humans are

we feel attraction towards many other people and we cant do anything about it, but still we say “i love you and only you”

we lie to ourselves and to the other person

[jolly venture]

definitely

[faint wing]

why do you think so

[jolly venture]

when im dating someone sure i can say someone else thats not my partner as attractive

like im acknowledging that they have good looks or smth

[faint wing]

not even an actor? or a model? or a random guy you see on social media?

[jolly venture]

but never in a romantic attraction kinda way

[faint wing]

i don’t think that’s possible to be honest

[jolly venture]

ive had crushes on actors and the second i get into a relationship, i lose attraction to them

[faint wing]

so you just admire their beauty but you don’t feel any attraction?

[jolly venture]

yea

it aint that hard bud

[faint wing]

it is

[jolly venture]

theres 8 billion people in this world ofc its possible

[faint wing]

how do you automatically lose attraction to someone

[jolly venture]

okay then is it for you

[faint wing]

its not how it works

[jolly venture]

how are u telling what i feel isnt true

[faint wing]

my bad i don’t want to sound arrogant

[jolly venture]

can i ask if u feel attraction to other people when dating someone

[faint wing]

i just don’t understand

[faint wing]

yes i do, but i don’t tell anyone of course

and my point is

the other person feels the same

she is with me but if she sees another guy that is attractive she will think about him too

and then she’ll think that it’s wrong because she is a relationship

and i get it

but then it’s not the love i was talking about before

[jolly venture]

would u mind it if she does feel this way

[faint wing]

i know she does

and so i do

i aknowledge it’s normal

but i just don’t like it, it sounds fake to me

[jolly venture]

whats fake to u?

[faint wing]

the fact that we are pretending that we are only attracted to eachother

and not just us but everyone

the thing is it’s not anyone’s fault

it’s just human instincts

[jolly venture]

but in the moment the person thats attractive the most to each other is each other right?

[faint wing]

yes?

mabye on a general standpoint

surely not on a physical one

[jolly venture]

so then based on u saying how being attracted to other people, i think thats fine

[faint wing]

and i’m not talking about love where i’m attracted THE MOST to her

i’m saying her and only her

[faint wing]

and so u’d be fine with having a boyfriend/girlfriend that says that you’re the only one who he loves but then he thinks about other girls that look better than you

and ofc he’ll never tell you that

[jolly venture]

thats why i said based on what u said

[faint wing]

so you won’t know for sure

[jolly venture]

to me i wouldnt like that

[faint wing]

ye but you said it’s fine

[faint wing]

i know

but that’s just how it is for me

it’s easy to lie

[jolly venture]

i was saying it for u

ik couples who are open abt this

[faint wing]

but deep down we all have secrets that we cant never tell our partners

[faint wing]

i’m happy for them to be able to live like this

[jolly venture]

open abt telling each other that they have celebrity crushes, or thinks that certain people are cool

[jolly venture]

u can too yk

[faint wing]

i wouldn’t feel good about it

[jolly venture]

some do some dont

[faint wing]

and so wouldn’t my girl

imagine being like

“yeah, that girl is hotter than you”

how can someone be fine with this

[jolly venture]

woah now thats too far

[faint wing]

yes but that’s what the boy-friend thinks

he just will never tell her

and vice versa

[jolly venture]

thats just too far and if the boyfriend is able to think that way, im sure the relationship wouldnt last long

[faint wing]

well i’ve been with my girl for almost two years

i just never told her

[jolly venture]

another thing to add is that a lot of people dont just for physical attraction yk

[faint wing]

and i’m sure she thinks that there are guys that look hotter than me

but she’ll never tell me

so we basically lie to eachother

[jolly venture]

:/ how are u sure

[faint wing]

that’s how humans work

you can’t just delete attraction to someone

[jolly venture]

not all bro

[faint wing]

my mom (she’s been married for god knows how long) is literally the purest person i’ve ever met

and when i talked to her about this

she told me that she had been attracted to other people while she was with my father

and ofc she didnt cheat or anything

but still

[faint wing]

we are animals after all

we have those instincts

[jolly venture]

its not abt them seeing someone attractive and stop thinking to themselves that the person they saw is attractive. its smth purely natural that when ur in a relationship, u just dont have attraction to other people more than just thinking they look cool or hot

not to the point of wanting to date them or smth

[faint wing]

thinking someone looks hot isnt attraction already?

[faint wing]

ofc

[jolly venture]

clearly shes not more attracted to them than to ur father

[jolly venture]

no..?

[faint wing]

yes that’s why im not talking about more or less

[jolly venture]

cuz i can say someone is hot but that doesnt mean i want to be with them

[faint wing]

i’m talking ONLY

one person

[faint wing]

attraction doesnt mean you wanna have a relationship with them

if you think someone is hot its cuz he attracts you

[jolly venture]

attraction means sense of interest, desire, or closeness u feel towards something or someone

[faint wing]

desire

imagine the hottest guy you can think of

you ever (only in your mind) thought that you want to for example have sex with him

but ofc

you would never do it

cuz you love and respect your parnter

[faint wing]

or even imagined of touching or kissing him idk

whatever

so you felt that way but then said “no, i don’t really want this, i’m happy with my bf”

[dusty hull]

what does a relationship mean to you @faint wing

[faint wing]

the typical bf gf

[dusty hull]

usually people who have desires like this about others, get into a relationship and fulfill them

[faint wing]

yes i know

[dusty hull]

to an extent that thier presence fulfills thier current needs of

[jolly venture]

oh hell na id never think that far

[dusty hull]

physical or emotional attraction

[faint wing]

but read the first thing i typed

i’m talking about exclusive love and attraction

to ONLY one person

[dusty hull]

ye I was getting to that- maybe if you do experience emotions like that, she’s not the one for you?

[faint wing]

mabye i’m just a terrible person then

[jolly venture]

is that the meaning of true love is that smth you had in mind when u think of true love

[faint wing]

i don’t think any girl is

because who ever i end up with

i will always feel some kind of attraction to someone else

and i don’t mean “i love another woman more than mine”

i just mean that it’s impossibile to only be attracted to one

[dusty hull]

cause a relationship being held by ropes as feeble as these are bound to fall apart

[faint wing]

that’s my definition, idk how to call it

[dusty hull]

as for the event you described with your mom, I don’t think she’s using the same defenition of attraction as you

[faint wing]

and what is a strong relationship then?

[dusty hull]

was she?

[faint wing]

detention?

srry im not great at engkish lol

[dusty hull]

something that can withstand these fleeting “attractions”

as per me at least

[faint wing]

i mean

i can with stand that attraction

[dusty hull]

oh shi my bad

[faint wing]

because

i love my girl more

ofc

but still my point is

i’m not only attracted to her

[jolly venture]

well then i think that u should change ur definition of true love

for everyone its different

[faint wing]

yeah mabye you’re right mb

[jolly venture]

yeah

[faint wing]

forget true love then

[jolly venture]

no not forget tru love

just change it to what u think defines it best

for you

[faint wing]

alr

lets use

[dusty hull]

but you only love her

right

[faint wing]

exclusive attraction towards one person

[faint wing]

yes

but im attracted to other people

[jolly venture]

cuz youve proven that even tho youve had attraction to other ppl ur still prioritizing ur girl

[faint wing]

i know

that’s not my point

hold on

[faint wing]

.

i specified but i should have not said true love

with devoted ofc i don’t mean physically

it’s not hard to not cheat

[jolly venture]

then for my answer yes

[faint wing]

i get it

[jolly venture]

at least I think its possible for ME

[faint wing]

like i said mabye i’m just a terrible persone

but not only me for sure

a lot of people keep lying to themselves

[jolly venture]

doin smth bad doesnt make u a terrible person

[faint wing]

and how are you so sure that your partner only loves you?

you cant

he can easily lie

like i do to my gf

[jolly venture]

well i can only hope he doesnt lie then

[faint wing]

and you’re satisfied?

[jolly venture]

if i get stuck up on thinking that hes lying to me id end up crazy

[faint wing]

or you’d end up single

[jolly venture]

if my partner says "actually i think that u lie to me abt being attracted to me only" my heart would genuinely break

[faint wing]

because i’m 100% sure that this is how at least most guys think

we cant just fake not being attracted

[faint wing]

i know

[jolly venture]

then its the same for guys too

[faint wing]

are you in a relationship rn?

[jolly venture]

nope

[faint wing]

then i can say it

[jolly venture]

say what

[faint wing]

imagine you have the perfect bf ok?

[jolly venture]

uhhuh

[faint wing]

he genuinely seems perfect

and he loves you

and all that stuff

i promise you he’ll still be looking at girls asses when he’s walking

and he will still be talking to his friends about other girls they find attractive

[jolly venture]

accidentally sure

[faint wing]

and funny thing is

all his friends have gfs like him

but they still are attracted to other people

[faint wing]

it’s almost never accidental, trust me

ofc i’d say that to my girl if she saw me do that

[jolly venture]

[faint wing]

and she’d trust me

like you’d trust him if he said that to you

he is the perfect bf, why would he lie?

and yet

he does, and you will never know

and mabye you’ll still be happy

but i cant live like this tbh

[jolly venture]

yea cuz u think everyone is the same when people clearly arent

[faint wing]

i’d just rather be single

[faint wing]

people are fake

[jolly venture]

oh wow

now lets not project alr

[faint wing]

everyone is lying to you, almost always

[dusty hull]

maybe it’s the people around him

[faint wing]

mabye it is

[jolly venture]

atp u gotta change how u think man

[faint wing]

my bad id that’s the case

[faint wing]

how can i lol

that’s just reality

i’m simply not trusting lies

[jolly venture]

be more positive

[faint wing]

because i know how easy it is to tell them

[jolly venture]

yet u lie to people

bfr

[faint wing]

.

i don’t trust people because i myself are a liar

doesn’t that make sense?

[faint wing]

not only me of course

but even the purest people you know can be liars trust me

especially them actually

it’s easier to lie if you’re reliable and everyone trusts you

[jolly venture]

agreed but

[faint wing]

so the more perfect someone is the more he is lying to himself and everyone else

[jolly venture]

i wouldnt want to have in my mind that everyone is a liar

thats just bad

[faint wing]

things look too good to be true

[faint wing]

you aren’t a liar?

[jolly venture]

in a relationship no

never

[faint wing]

but how can i trust you

if you already lied on other things

how can i be sure that this time is not a lie

you see my point?

you can say “it’s because i say so”

and i’d get it

but still there would be doubt

[jolly venture]

because ppl make mistakes bro

[faint wing]

that’s impossible not to do

but lies are not mistakes

they’re wanted

[jolly venture]

just bcs someone crashed in an accident doesnt mean they get their driving liscence revoked for life

[faint wing]

a lie isnt like a car accident

you decide when you lie

[jolly venture]

at least my lies are things i did to get myself out of trouble

[faint wing]

not when you crash

[faint wing]

or to make others feel better right?

[jolly venture]

like to my mom abt doing smth productive

[faint wing]

if your ugly friend who is depressed asks you “am i ugly?”

[jolly venture]

as in if someone asked if im fine?

[faint wing]

what would you say

[jolly venture]

i dont see people as ugly

[faint wing]

that’s another lie for me

my personal opinion

[faint wing]

.

[jolly venture]

ofc conventional attractiveness is a thing

i can tell if someone is model pretty or just mid

[faint wing]

of course

mid?

nothing below that?

[jolly venture]

but me personally i just cant see someone as ugly

[faint wing]

how can uglyness not exist for you

[faint wing]

not even in a physical way?

[jolly venture]

idk man

[faint wing]

so if everyone is beautiful

you would date anyone with a good personality?

[jolly venture]

bro i already did LMAO

all my crushes had been nerds who nobody ever goes like "omg i have a crush on him"

[faint wing]

i cant send message

wtf

[jolly venture]

probably had a banned word

[faint wing]

lmao

so

if you don’t mind looks

imagine a guy coming to you

he’s 5 feet tall, he’s got yellow teeth, he is obese and he has pimples on his face

but hey he has a good personality

you still think he is not ugly in a physical way?

you’d still be attracted to him?

[jolly venture]

all of that is valid apart from yellow teeth cuz thats hygiene

[faint wing]

alright

then

[jolly venture]

5 feet? heck my ex was the same height as me

[faint wing]

he is blind on both eyes

his face is scarred

[jolly venture]

YES ID ACCEPT

[faint wing]

and his teeth are missing cuz of an accident

[jolly venture]

[faint wing]

also he got a microp3nis

and other nasty stuff

[jolly venture]

idc abt d size lmao

[faint wing]

i don’t think you’d accept

[dusty hull]

gus i think we’ve strayed away from the point haven’t we

[faint wing]

i was just saying negative stuff

[jolly venture]

even if he was infertile i would accept

[jolly venture]

yep but hes the op of this thread so

[faint wing]

ik mb, but she said that nobody is physically ugly

for me that’s just a lie

my bad tho

[dusty hull]

well it’s more about you than her so let’s try to keep it at home

[jolly venture]

as someone who grew up obese and ugly and got a glow up, i genuinely just cant see ppl as ugly

[faint wing]

i’m sorry

[dusty hull]

the initial thread at least

[jolly venture]

gang its fine if we stray from topic cuz hes the op after all

[faint wing]

i got a glow up too, and before my glow up i was deadahh ugly

mb tho

[dusty hull]

but that’s not all invalid, that’s another one of the things which point out the difference in the way you think and she does

[faint wing]

back to “exclusive attraction to one person”

[faint wing]

yes but i think her way of thinking is just a mental construct that she uses to sweeten life, even though she knows that it is not how things work in real life

[jolly venture]

i just think its a difference in personal views

[faint wing]

yeah that’s probably it

[jolly venture]

my life aint sweet i give u that

[faint wing]

mabye im digging too deep

sorry

[jolly venture]

yup

[jolly venture]

no need to be

well for the gf u have rn, are u happy with her

[faint wing]

that’s why you need to think positive, to survive and live better

[faint wing]

no

[jolly venture]

u can say that for urself

[faint wing]

ofc i’m not lol

[faint wing]

i’d be lying to myself then

[jolly venture]

my positive thinking is the reason that im like this

[faint wing]

i already did in the past

[dusty hull]

wait why are you with her then

[jolly venture]

apart from the whole lie thing

[faint wing]

it’s the biggest cope

[faint wing]

i can’t leave e her

she needs me as a person

she has stuff going on

no matter what i have inside, my goal is to make her feel good

[jolly venture]

but if it drains u, u gotta be honest

[faint wing]

i know

but i would literally kill her in a methaporical way

[dusty hull]

calm

[faint wing]

nono

i mean

she’d die without me

[dusty hull]

oh

[faint wing]

methaphorically

lol

[jolly venture]

it not i

[faint wing]

sorry

[jolly venture]

ig

[dusty hull]

huge huge difference

[faint wing]

it’s a weird situation trust me

[jolly venture]

nah i get it, shed live

[faint wing]

i’ve left girls before with no problem

but she is in a hard spot rn

[jolly venture]

my ex left when i was suicidal i turned out fine

[faint wing]

leaving her wouldn’t help

[dusty hull]

well maybe that’s a major contributor to your lack of exclusive affection

[jolly venture]

it differs to the person tho ofc

[faint wing]

your ex is a bad person, i don’t plan to be like him

so should i just leave her when she needs me the most?

lol

[faint wing]

no, i’ve always felt this way

and always will

[jolly venture]

i wouldnt say he is, he had stuff going on too. i wouldnt want to rope someone into being with me bcs of my mental health

thats sic

[faint wing]

yes but she is not roping me

it’s my choice

[jolly venture]

do it in a kind way then

[faint wing]

so by lying

you seeee

everyone lies to make people feel better

i will do that in the future

now its not the right time

[jolly venture]

wdym lying

i mean leave in a kind way

as in having a talk

[faint wing]

“sorry honey i am attracted to other people therefore i don’t think my love for you is pure, bye”

or

[jolly venture]

have a sit down and discuss

explain ur problem first off

then get her opinion

[faint wing]

“it’s not your fault, i love you but i can’t do this anymore, i’ll always be here if you need me”

[jolly venture]

then talk it out

[faint wing]

if i said the trutg

she will feel like shit

and she doesnt deserve it

[jolly venture]

not if u have a talk out bro

[faint wing]

i have to sugarcoat it

[jolly venture]

i gtg now its almost 2 am and i got work at 8

[faint wing]

before you said that if your bf told you that you’d die inside

[faint wing]

mb here in italy it’s 8 pm lol

[dusty hull]

how about at the beginning of your relationship when she was the girl [ mind my language ] who’s ass you checked out; back then was she the only one you found attractive, attractive enough to get in a relationship to begin with

[faint wing]

sleep well then

[jolly venture]

yea if he told me straight up

[faint wing]

thanks for the chat

[jolly venture]

having a long talk would entail a lot more

therefore id get closure too

[jolly venture]

thanks too

see yall

[faint wing]

of course she was the main girl of my world, but she easn’t the only one

if i saw another good looking girl i would’ve still felt attracted to that girl

[faint wing]

see you

[dusty hull]

what pushed you into getting into a relationship with her

[faint wing]

because she was the one i loved the most

imagine my head

90% her

10% other girls

and you could say “well you still love her a lot”

i’d agree

but i’m talking about loving someone 100%

only her on my mind

[dusty hull]

and what’s the ratio like now

[faint wing]

still like this i’d say

mabye 80 20 idk

doesn’t matter

i don’t want to be in a relationship where i don’t love her and only her

and she doesnt love me and only me

[faint wing]

i know that she doesn’t, nobody ever could

not even the funniest and most handsome guy in the world will ever have that love

there is always attraction for others

[dusty hull]

usually, the 90/10 ratio would overpower the lust which one has over other people and give the illusion of exclusive attraction

[dusty hull]

i think ill have to agree

by the way you define it

[faint wing]

it “overpowers” the lust but doesnt delete the attraction

[dusty hull]

there’s no way someone finds only one person in the whole world attractive

[faint wing]

yes

and that’s why for me

love is fake

[dusty hull]

but for the other half of your question, i think they could still be devoted to one person

[daring olive]

You can be attracted to others and still have a true love

[faint wing]

physically devoted for sure

[dusty hull]

no that’s where i think it falls apart

[faint wing]

not mentally

[dusty hull]

i say your situation is a bit different from the original

[faint wing]

yes but i made a mistake when i said true love

[faint wing]

wym?

[dusty hull]

well i think, as far as i read at least, you can’t seem to find peace with the fact that she likes other men too

and not disclose it

correct me if I’m wrong

[faint wing]

that and the fact that i like other women too

i just think our love is fake

[dusty hull]

yeah i th-

[faint wing]

our promises and everything

[dusty hull]

yup that’s what i was getting at

[faint wing]

it’s just lies

[faint wing]

sorry, go ahead

[dusty hull]

no no i was just trying to put it gently

[dusty hull]

but that’s what i was trying to say

[dusty hull]

lies which you keep up because she needs you

[faint wing]

exactly

and because i don’t want to hurt her of course

[dusty hull]

can’t comment on her perspective for the lack of context but I’m sure she’s lying for her own reasons too

[faint wing]

yeah that’s what i said at the beginning hhaha

that was kinda my point

[dusty hull]

oh I must’ve missed that

[faint wing]

100%

[faint wing]

you thought it was the opposite?

[dusty hull]

well I just read the title and all I had to say was that
It is indeed possible
But with the right person only

[faint wing]

that every love is fake beside ours?

[faint wing]

yeah i kinda worded it poorly

[dusty hull]

Oh naw I meant the conversation was pretty general like - is exclusive attraction possible

[dusty hull]

and the answer to that depends on people but regardless doesn’t help your situation

[faint wing]

i don’t understand what we are talking about hahaha

[faint wing]

i understand

for me the answer is no

[dusty hull]

for antika it’s a yes

[faint wing]

.

[dusty hull]

and for me too

[faint wing]

i agree then

so for you is it still worth to be in a relationship?

full of lies and hidden feelings

it could be not gonna lie

i can see why

but for me it’s just not

oh sorry i thought you agreed with me hahaha

my bad

[dusty hull]

well I’m just gonna say the same thing antika did - I trust my partner to be honest with me and

[dusty hull]

partly

[faint wing]

yes but how can you trust him

everyone lies

a relationship with no lies never works

never

so you can’t really trust your partner on everything can you?

of course saying that you trust him or her sounds very good, and full of hope

[dusty hull]

wait let’s get back to this part - imagine if you and her didn’t have to lie to each other

[faint wing]

and it’s easy to gain the trust of the person that loves you

so

[faint wing]

yes

we probably wouldn’t be together

“babe i’m attracted to other women, i was lying when i said i’m only attracted to you”

even if she accepts this

she will live with this insecurity forever

that i may find a woman that i like more than her

or that i lust on other women

or that i find other women hotter

if we never lie to eachother

and she asks me if she is the hottest for me

i’d just answer no

and name other women‘s names

that’s the harsh truth

so people in relationships lie

but i don’t either want this truth or the lies

it all sucks

[dusty hull]

hm

dilemma indeed

what about emotional attraction

[faint wing]

that’s a whole different story

for me it’s not enough

“yours is the only mind i love”
“and my body?”
“no no i like other men bodies too”

if you really like that it’s fine i guess

just not for me

[dusty hull]

is there a world where the emotional attraction of her grows so intense that it invalidates the physical attraction towards others

[faint wing]

no

it’s impossible

like i said physical attraction is an instinct

you cant do anything about it

[dusty hull]

hm

well some people say that the emotions keep them at bay but I guess they’re lying too

[faint wing]

yep

also the funny thing is that it’s so easy to not notice everything i said before

but once you think about it lmao

it’s like a black hole

[dusty hull]

it’s not like we’ve [ antika and me ] have never noticed it

but we’ve lied to

ourselves and everyone

about it for so long

[faint wing]

i know

[dusty hull]

that it just feels like the norm now

[faint wing]

exactly

that’s why i say that it’s all fake

and why i think it’s not worth it

[faint wing]

it’s probably easier to ignore it tho

and surely makes you live with less stress and insecurities

but it’s always there

[violet rover]

I wish buddy, I wish
but apparently in this 21st century
only few get to experience it

[faint wing]

nobody does bro

only people in movies or books

[violet rover]

as of me, I have never in my life dated anyone

[faint wing]

and those stories are not real for a reason

[violet rover]

zero proposals despite being 19 lmao

[violet rover]

ikr?

[faint wing]

it’s fine

don’t worry

it probably depends of where you live and who you have around

[violet rover]

man, im happy
less drama and stuff
but sometimes lonliness hits hard

[faint wing]

i know

love is a nice illusion

makes you feel good for a bit until you realize

[violet rover]

buddy, I live in the silicon city

[faint wing]

idk what that is but doesnt sound good lmao

[violet rover]

I promised my younger self that If i ever find someobe

they should be the one until end

and looking at ppl now, I have lost all hope tbh

[faint wing]

lmao same promise that i did to myself

it’s not that easy

[violet rover]

us

[dusty hull]

but when you don’t notice the lies, the illusion is

beautiful

in a way

[violet rover]

google it buddy

[faint wing]

yes but how can you not notice

[dusty hull]

cali?

[faint wing]

you just live your life with your eyes closed?

[violet rover]

nooo, thats silicon valley

[dusty hull]

ignorance probably idk

[dusty hull]

Taiwan then

It’s got tsmc

[faint wing]

lmaooo silicon city

[violet rover]

when u will wake up reality then what?

[faint wing]

mf lives in a roblox map

[violet rover]

contemplate life?

[dusty hull]

hoping the illusion lasts forever

[violet rover]

love is basically drugs i feel

[faint wing]

it doesnt bro!

[violet rover]

herion with extra steps lmao

[faint wing]

only thing good in life

is physical pleasure

or satisfaction from work or something

mabye even videogames sometimes

[violet rover]

doesnt last forever

nothing does

[faint wing]

of course

prime example is our body

from 25 y.o. it’s all downhill

no point in living after that

[violet rover]

sighs*

life afterall

[faint wing]

that’s life homie

we’re in this together

[violet rover]

I didnt ask to me brought into this world

[faint wing]

nobody did

we just spawned in

[violet rover]

buddy, u work out?

[faint wing]

i do boxing

[violet rover]

could u give me tips?

[violet rover]

oohh

[faint wing]

haha i only do some pushups and pullups

[violet rover]

I was 48 last year

[faint wing]

and work out abs

[faint wing]

wym

[violet rover]

now Im 63kgs

[faint wing]

ooh

[violet rover]

I hab become fat

[faint wing]

how tall are you?

[violet rover]

5'5

[faint wing]

in cm…

sorry lmao idk feet

[violet rover]

inches dude

165cms

[violet rover]

I just want core strengtj

[faint wing]

well

if you work out for a bit

you’ll gain muscles easily

dw about it

[violet rover]

like what work outs exactly?

[faint wing]

idk i just do shadowboxing with weights

idk if that counts as core strenght lmao

[faint wing]

honestly i have no clue

and i don’t wanna give you wrong advice

[violet rover]

ooohhh okiii

[faint wing]

really

[violet rover]

thanks man

atleast ur honest

[faint wing]

lmao no problem

[violet rover]

maybe Ill hit the gym

[faint wing]

if you listen to me you’ll end up with a broken spine or sum

[faint wing]

yeah that would work

[violet rover]

lmaooo

maybe rupture my muscles or smthg

[faint wing]

[faint wing]

lmao

[velvet viper]

to answer the question:

super possible, just takes luck and a huge step forward to get yourself out there or put yourself into a position where youre able to use what you have to find other people

going out etc, its a complicated issue because we find love in others in various ways

[ember seal]

I think it's possible but the way you love someone isn't always the same way someone loves you. Every love comes with conditions and no one is going to complete you or be your "soul mate". I think with any relationship we desire it all depends on how it fits into our lives. Is it adding or devaluing you? Also look into limerence v.s. love it helps

[faint wing]

true but i wasnt really talking about that, but more the fact that it’s impossible to feel attraction to only one person

and therefore the great love that everyone talks about is just a sweet illusion and nothing more

[velvet viper]

mm thats mad interesting then, i feel like as you zone in on your wants and needs in a person youll eventually only rlly see your partner as the one most compatible w you then

[faint wing]

sure, i understand

[velvet viper]

you can def see love in lots of ways, but also if youre new to it you wont have a clue abt what u want longterm

[faint wing]

nono but like

i have a gf

for 2 years now

i’m not seeking love

i’m just saying that this kind of love is fake

love made of promises and exclusivity

it doesn’t exist

no matter how much you love one person you’ll always feel physically attracted to other people

[velvet viper]

id say yes, but also if youre w the right person, love kinda makes you only see them

because ofc other people can be physically attractive yes theres always someone better, but wouldbthey be able to provide like your partner?in intimacy or emotionally thinking ways?

prolly not

your view is gonna shape how it is

also talk to your partner abt it, im sure itll be a good conov

[ember seal]

right and I think it would be more fake to not say there are beautiful people

its when we make the decision to stay true to our partner

[faint wing]

i’m not talking about if they would provide better than my partner

[velvet viper]

yeah but thats where the convo would head, cuz ur looking as other people

[faint wing]

it’s just the fact that i find other people attractive or even more attractive then her

and she does the same surely

[ember seal]

thats normal

[velvet viper]

yeah it happens

[ember seal]

as long as you arent acting on it

[faint wing]

yes and that sucks

even if it’s normal

[ember seal]

and your content with your partner

[velvet viper]

but the reasons people dont just bounce from one person to another is for the reasons above basically

[faint wing]

my point was

[ember seal]

life isnt perfect and the way you think of true love others might not

[faint wing]

if it’s possible to be attracted to only one

and for me it’s not

so technically y’all agree

[ember seal]

Not necessarily

[faint wing]

so you think that one person can shut off the attraction you feel towards others?

[ember seal]

Because I don't think true love is perfect and true love looks different for me

[faint wing]

i understand

mabye i worded it bad

[ember seal]

I don't think we shut it off but we make the commitment to choose our partner over anyone

[faint wing]

but what i mean with true love is complete exclusive attraction to only one person

[ember seal]

I think that shows solitude

[faint wing]

yes we do

but still we like other people

we are attracted to others no matter what choices we make

[ember seal]

correct I agreed

[faint wing]

and so

you’d like to be in a relationship with someone who is attracted to other women other than you?

and who thinks that other women are hotter than you?

because that is inevitable

if you’re fine with it i totally get it

i just think that love is full of lies

[north abyss]

I dont think true love u can find. U can develop it with a person thru mistakes arguments lovely moments bad moments and experience

Trust me. If you want true love you need to have a 2way connection and a need to fix everything together

[velvet viper]

this guy gets it

[ember seal]

right every love is going to come with conditions

[faint wing]

i agree, but for me the thing i said before is inevitable

[ember seal]

what works for some might not work with you

[faint wing]

for me love is not true if it’s not exclusive

so it’s love, but fake love

because true love doesn’t really exist

[north abyss]

Theres no perfect partner you can get. And if you find a person whos gonna date you and look at other women thats not a even a partner, its just a person trynna play all the girls. Its hard to find a right person to form true love with but you have to try. It is possible

[north abyss]

Speaking from my pov

[faint wing]

yes but listen

even if i’m in a relationship with a girl

and i really love her both physically and mentally

no matter what

i will always find other women attractive

some even more attractive then her

and therefore the love i feel for her is not exclusive

and for me that’s not pure love

[north abyss]

Oh yeah.

[faint wing]

for me pure love is a love so strong that can delete all attraction towards every body but one person

and it simply doesn’t exist

[north abyss]

I know it happens and ive felt the same way but that just shows if youre determined enough to keep a relationship and suppress your love for other people

[north abyss]

Youre right. I agree

[north abyss]

And i also agree. But there is a small chance yo

Yk

Dont loose your hope

[faint wing]

there is no chance man

we are all human

that kind of love is only in books and movies

and it’s the love the creator of those books and movies wish existed

[velvet viper]

but again its all about perspective on it

feels like you just have a dif idea of what love can be

not to your fault or anything tho, but just be aware i hope it doesnt lead anything bad to happen to yoi

[faint wing]

thank you

yeah mabye i have a weird point of view

but with love you also have to count the physical part right?

[velvet viper]

depends on how you see it

see how you see it, n how you experience it

some people hate physical touch, some people cant communicate, all just how you view it at the end of the day

[faint wing]

but when you think about love don’t you think about kissing?

hugging?

love (in a romantic way of course) is made of attraction towards eachother

there is always the physical component

[velvet viper]

thats how i might view it yeah, but im not everyone if you get me

theres people w dif perspectives on what love is

could be the extra gn text for some, could be the asking for what you wanna eat 2 extra times to get a real answer

everyone has an idea of what love for them is and thats perfectly fine

[faint wing]

sure, that is also love

[velvet viper]

yee

[faint wing]

alright then

i’ll remake the question

is it possible for someone to be attracted to one person only?

[velvet viper]

possible just, pretty hard to find someone like that, and who finds someone who replicates that feeling toward you

[faint wing]

but how is it possible

we’re humans, we are attracted to anything that we find appealing

[velvet viper]

because that person could be someones coup de gras, the perfect person that resonates w them on every scale, its possible, just unlikely

[faint wing]

and we can’t decide what we are attracted to or not

[faint wing]

ok i get it

[velvet viper]

yeah but that doesnt discredit love for what it is in a raw form

[faint wing]

but look

even if they are the perfect person

the most handsome and funny

[velvet viper]

i understand where youre going, even if theyre perfect, theyre gonna have a flaw etc

see someone else

[faint wing]

no

[velvet viper]

but thats just how we are as humans, imperfect

[faint wing]

no flaws

literally perfect

even if my girlfriend is perfect

[velvet viper]

then what reason would there be to look elsewhere?

there is something people can give you that arent based kn qualities,

reputation, status, connection etc, people could leave someone for exactly that

[faint wing]

because her perfection is not the only thing that i’m attracted to

i can’t decide it

if i’m with the most beautiful girl and i see another cute girl walking by

i’d still be attracted to that cute girl

no matter how beautiful my girl is

let me put it this way lol

my fav food is pizza

my second fav is pasta

if i have a pizza, and i’m eating the pizza

i’d be happy

but if someone walks by with a plate full of pasta i’d still look at that pasta and think “that pasta looks good”

[plucky elbow]

this is normal

[faint wing]

because no matter how good pizza is, i’d still like pasta too

[faint wing]

i know

and so

it’s impossible to feel attracted towards one person only right?

[plucky elbow]

yes

[faint wing]

alright

[violet rover]

you know, there is a video on youtbe how a guy goes proposing random girls in streets of spain like in the 90's and guess what happened?
he got rejeceted by every single one, he wasnt even bad looking
this sets an example uk, even if u put ur self out there alot
it doesnt mean u have 100% success rate and for few ppl who try to put themselves out there get tired

[velvet viper]

ye

but being rejected a thousand times does build confidence if youre seeking it in the right way though

[violet rover]

You can't everything in life postively

Lmao

[velvet viper]

say that again

[gilded ingot]

ur getting lost in black and white thinking

the thing is, you will still find other people attractive, because having a partner doesnt mean that you will stop finding other things beautiful

what you are asking for would mean that everything including objects in the world would appear ugly and only your partner would appear beautiful

its not how reality works nor how it should ever work

the resolution is that you dont let the fact that you can find other people sexy/beautiful to be a problem in your relationship, its a passing thought and a perception, you can always let it arise, it will leave on its own, you dont have to act on it in any way, you dont even have to think about it for long, it can leave after a second