Okay. Cutting quickly,
#I don't know what to do.
analog bronze
brave lintel
you shouldnt do that fam, whats bothering you?!
analog bronze
no no not in that way haha.. okay, let me write this all down. its alot.
brave lintel
well either way chat dont do anything dumb, theres always a way for something and theres people that can help, be safe!
analog bronze
I have a personality disorder. It affects everything and I'm trying to get better with it. My boyfriend, his name is Akari and I don't know how to help him. He has a friend, Abby.
They met recently and he's attached to Abby and mentions Abby to me quote alot, while I don't like Abby, I've tried my best to be his friend, but I gave up on that. My partner has dissociative identity disorder and one day, I was in their groupchat talking to Abby.
He switched out and the prosecutor fronted, and confronted me about why I was talking to Abby. Naturally, having met this prosecutor before, I already know the underlining of the meaning that he has. And even mentioned that he's not allowed to have things to himself, so I felt discouraged and stopped being Abbys friend and blocked both friends.
My partner made a boundary a while ago, that if we wanted to match profile pictures with somebody else that we'd ask.. So, upon meeting Abby I see in the server they speak in that they're matching without talking to me about it. So I don't say anything at first, until it happens a few more times and even goes to match a ship with Abby. (Kaveh x Alhaitham,) Which I confronted and was told that it didn't mean anything. So I'm.. I'm like okay, I accept it.
My boyfriends starts talking about him more to me and it ends up making me upset. He views it as he can't have any friends because I get upset. How I view it is that the way he and his friends act together get me triggered and it triggers an episode because I believe he's going to end up replacing me.
I made a boundary last night not to mention this Abby, and he's upset..
brave lintel
ive never had a personality disorder while i did have borderline personality disorder it ruined my relationship with my girlfriend, she had her friend amy which she would constantly do things with, it led me believe she was actually falling for this person and one day one of her friends told me she did something with her at her house and it hurt me so naturally next time we called i asked her if she liked her friend and she just stayed quiet and left the call, 3 days later she broke up with me
I fully believed that she was replacing me when in reality she was just trying to spend time with her friend, it put me through a depression i couldnt escape from, truthfully in my opinion once someone starts to prioritize someone that isnt important in the relationship, that usually means theres something going on in between the two people, but you should try to talk with your boyfriend tell him how you truly feel about this and see his response, if it becomes a problem then at that point you have to ask yourself if your okay with it
if hes matching profile pictures with this person and hes getting upset that you wont be okay with them that usually means theres something going on between those two people
as my last bit of advice i recommend you just observe for now, dont do or say anything just let it run its course, once you see whats wrong confront that, if he starts avoiding you dont do anything just wait, once he shows a good sign hes really gonna do that then do what you think is right
guys love attention from girls believe me i always wanted to be with my ex24/7, practically love bombing her till she left me alone, its uncommon for a guy to do that unless somethings wrong
analog bronze
He had a full breakdown because he feels like I'm trying to make him out to be the badguy, and that not what I was trying to do. I was just trying to communicate.
brave lintel
hes trying to play the victim card, but the fact he changed his profile picture to match with another (friend) truly shows where he tends to stand in this if thats the case
analog bronze
I put him through a list of scenarios to try understand how I felt. I also am borderline and I just. I've split on him before and I think that every time I try to confront or communicate with him.. that he breaks down into thinking he's the bad person and it. It's driving me away. I don't think he's trying to play as a victim though, I've hurt him before and I think he's going to different conclusions.. I do get upset when he makes it seem there's a person more important than me, when I'm his girlfriend.
I want to be there and understand how he's hurt and help him overcome it.. But I also need to communicate how I feel.
brave lintel
Honestly if theres no communication in the relationship it wont work properly, trust me communication is the only way it can work out and if hes not willing to even try that then hes hiding something or hes just as lost
analog bronze
He says stuff like.. um, how he isn't allowed friends because of me and how I react and how my episodes are triggered but.. I want him to have friends. I'm happy that he's making them! I really am. But I need to be raw and genuine to him instead of sugar coating it, right? But I don't. I don't really get it, I try and he just.. it doesn't go how I plan it.
brave lintel
its gotta be one or the other tbh but imo just try to be as understanding as you can because you've already explained yourself and your feelings yet this somehow makes the other person feel bad?
brave lintel
He says stuff like.. um, how he isn't allowed friends because of me and how I re...
I think its weird hes matching profile pictures with another girl instead of his girlfriend ykwim
analog bronze
Do you have any tips on stopping him feel bad, then..?
brave lintel
atp you've really tried a lot, its just lack of communication honestly
analog bronze
I think its weird hes matching profile pictures with another girl instead of his...
Abby is a boy actually, and has a girlfriend of his own.. but, he's allowed to do what he wants to, but he made lile.
He was the one who made the boundary to ask, and I listened and.
brave lintel
hmmmm
analog bronze
Once I've spoken to him, he's started listening to it after our argument but. I just want to believe him and it's becoming really hard to.
brave lintel
Honestly I just see your boyfriend avoiding the main problem, hes lacking the communication to work things out with you, would rather play the sad card then face it directly and his friend is getting in the way?, honestly just observe the way he acts, just act normal yk try to be funny, say a joke just break some tension if thats whats keeping it that way
if a man really loves a woman he will do anything to keep that woman, as long as hes trying to stay with you, i would just say take it slow aswell
i hope everything works out for you fam, dont do anything dumb stay safe!!
analog bronze
Can I friend you?
brave lintel
sure fam, text me if u ever need someone to talk to
im not always gonna be here around this time but im a friend you can talk to!!
analog bronze
Thank you!
I wanna add too he wasn't just stressed over me and abby, there were other things that troubled him and caused him to be upset at the time but.. Ugh I'm just not sure. I think me doing all of that was just.. taking the cake.
brave lintel
no you did your best
you worried for him, shows you care, shows compassion you've done what you could fam
i honestly hope the best for you fam, take care n again msg me if u ever need an input!
