#6 year ldr gone

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

last terrace
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Need help. Got left from a 6 year ldr with a narcissist . And I can't handle it. Only get 3 hrs of sleep.🥲

sullen whale
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how you doing

last terrace
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Not good

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Currently heart racing woken up from sleep . By thinking of him. First sleep I have in 40+ hours

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I was in a 6 year long distance relationship with a guy. That constantly treated me bad. But I still stayed because I loved him. By treating me bad ill give examples. He cheated on me for the first 5 years on sex chats many of then with hundreds of girls. I see it as cheating even if it's not physical. Because we weren't. And we broke up after I found out and I lasted 1 month and went crawling back. Because I helped him realize the relationship he chose over me was one with a catfish bot. And made him see that. Then he wanted me back and loved bombed me. Just to do the same things over and over and I let it happen because I'm dumb and was in love with him. He couldn't be want I wanted him to be basic bf stuff. Like say goodnight to me before disappearing. Or saying he loves me without me tell him to. Any birthday or holiday I was the one always giving and never receiving. We constantly broke up mostly me with him. But would sort things out the next day. As in he apologized for the same stupid things snd promises not to again. Well this last time two days ago we had made an agreement that if he did break his promises again. That I'll leave. Well he did it and "fell asleep " for about an hour and came back like it was nothing. When I asked and showed receipts of what he was actually doing then he got all defensive. And I broke up with him. Well we fought for a day. Him love bombing me to get me back. I took the steps of blocking him. Which he didn't like. The next day he was a completely person. I expected to work things out as I cooled down. But he refused and said it was my fault and that he's done. Well I did some digging and he had found a whole other girl on stupid roblox. And he was supposedly not cheating. Like I accused him of. Well I spent all day trying to beg for him back like always. And accept him with his cheating. He convinced me it was my fault and that he didn't want me.if a few hours ago he did

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Now I've been suck in this loop of trying to contact him. Even though i had earlier erased and block myself and changed passwords from all the things we shared. He didn't do anything and was happy to flaut his new online gf. By "accidentally" leaving his xbox account connected to my phone app . Which I can't remove because he changed passwords. So every few hours I get screenshots popped up on my phone of him and his new gf on roblox dates. Like is there something wrong with me?. Why does it feel like it's my fault when I know it's his. He mistreated me and was unfaithful for years. I even was buying tickets to sort things out to prove I loved him. This was before I knew of the girl. And he absolutely refused saying he would call the authorities. That's when I knew something was wrong and I did the digging to find that whole other life he had..he was just waiting for the opportunity to leave me and make it my fault with a girl he just met 3 days ago.

somber stag
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i really don't know what to say..he's the problem, it's not easy to just forget but he's a menace. Maybe if you just dump him out of existence and move on.. yeah i don't think it'll work

sullen whale
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i feel so bad for you, the fact that you had to keep up with him

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its digusting he did any of this to you

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well from what i read

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he was just manipulating you

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the fact he was love bombing you then acting like that after

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is just shameful of him to do

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im gonna ask a question and i dont want to be rude, is he the type of person you want to truly marry and spend the rest of ur life with (if u ever decided to marry). Is he the type of person you want ur future children to be like (if you ever decide to have children), which im gonna assume u will say no

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may i ask, does he know ur going through this at all, like the suffering

last terrace
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At one point I did and still convince myself I do. But what my family and friends try to get me to understand is that. He will never change. That he hasn't ever put effort . And that I have broken down twice heavily mentally. While he was enjoying himself with whatever new flavor of the week. That I'm currently shedding tears like waterfalls for him and he has never shed one. That I care to much

dire coral
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Hey @last terrace

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I hear u going through big times

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Free to dm me

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I can understand your life

last terrace
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Yes he does know and has cut off contact because his new gf

dire coral
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Trust me

sullen whale
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ill be honest though

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he isnt changing

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he will regret in the future so much but that is a very far away

last terrace
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My sister is taking me out to the dollar store to try to distract myself from trying to message him anywhere because I always find a way. And I still have his mother which is basically my lifeline if he wants me. But I know I should cut all contacts but it's hard to when you expect so much from someone who doesn't want you

sullen whale
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someone that cares about you and does the bare minimum and says "goodnight"

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or do u want to go back to someone

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who isnt even considered as a bf but rather just a boy that may once in a while show very little care

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you deserve somone better

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what time is he not with his roblox gf?

last terrace
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Currently never he basically sleep in that thing.

sullen whale
last terrace
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Because I tell myself I love him

sullen whale
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is it because of the time u spent?

last terrace
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Because he's the only one I got that understands me .

sullen whale
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what he is doing is awful

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and he thinks he got u right under his finger tips

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like hes literally got u on strings, thats why he can do this knowing youll come back anytime he wishes

last terrace
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I just need to see it from everyone else view

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Because I can't believe it . I've been stuck for years in the same loop

sullen whale
last terrace
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I'm going to try my best not to. I actually did the first step this time I blocked him from everything and now have decided to also block his mom . So I can not have any chance to crawling back because if I don't want to believe I have to leave him . If he doesn't give an once of care that . While I was there for him for everything.

sullen whale
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delete photos, old memories etc

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its gonna be hard but

last terrace
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My family is trying to make me realize how bad he was to me. He didn't care when I lost my childhood dog. Of 9 years. And didn't care when a hurricane destroyed my town. He actually fought with me because I wasn't able to text him from powerloss

sullen whale
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he just wants it badly thats all

last terrace
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And I give it to him. The bad part is it's mostly because I feel bad about his living situation and how no one cared for him but me. If I didn't give him what he wanted he would get it somewhere else. I had to leave my job for him because he would cheat

sullen whale
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look what hes done to you

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he literally is making you suffer for so many years

last terrace
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Will you be here later? I'm out right now trying to cry out in carride and going to distact myself . But as soon as I'm alone is the hard part .because I go searching for him because I'm use to it

sullen whale
last terrace
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I need someone to tell me know and stop and remind me of how trash he was

sullen whale
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just ping me

sullen whale
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of him

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like i mean everything

sullen whale
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like one of ur friends or family members

last terrace
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Not pics yet I don't have the strength. It's been 2 -3 days

sullen whale
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telling him what hes doing

last terrace
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No

sullen whale
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in that case well, it doesnt matter as ur not going back to him at all again

sullen whale
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but ill ask a question

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why do u want him when u can find so many other people who are better?

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and i mean, far far better

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i am not saying to find somebody else, but you just need time to heal and recover from him and get urself to normal

last terrace
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My sister told me I need a year off to detox from him. As I am currently making myself sick from the heart break. Haven't slept or ate

sullen whale
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no he isnt.

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is it worth getting sick over him?

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no he isnt.

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is he having fun whilst u suffer?

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yes he is.

last terrace
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And I wanted him . I wanted him to be who I first fell in love with. The first version of him that didn't cheat that showed love without asking for it. I would literally have to remind him to say love me at least once a day. Like it was all to hard for him. But can easily do it for others. Was it just me then?. Was I not worthy of it too. I stayed to hopefully get that back . Waiting literally years . And he always promised that version will come back . Will do it for the first 2 days of making up then back to his old self

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He is having fun while I'm suffering. He is with someone else not giving a care. While literally 48 hrs ago he wanted me like I was his last breath

sullen whale
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hes part of the past

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ik it really hard but

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u need to let go of him

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theres nothing u can do

last terrace
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Thank you I will need help later when I'm alone . And have nothing but to lose my mind overthinking and making myself worse. I need the encouragement and reminders . I'm currently having my sis and cousin try to distract me. It's hard to let go something that wa basically my drug. Without help

sullen whale
last terrace
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I'm at McDonald's and my goal is to eat at least the frys of a happy meal. I haven't ate since everything went down. And literally made myself sick. To the point I was gaging and throwing up nothing but liquid and have a headache. But I'm trying to eat

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2:46

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Pm

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In Florida. He was in the uk

sullen whale
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yea im in the uk as well lol

sullen whale
last terrace
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Also thank you so much for helping. It got me to go out and get air

sullen whale
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anytime

last terrace
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I will definitely be back . Because being alone will kill me

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You are an angel 😇

sullen whale
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anytime

sullen whale
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try deleting everything of him when u can

sullen whale
last terrace
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I'm doing OK. Well was. Til just now I got left in car and started to cry again. But I did better I ate an entire happy meal. Didn't do good on trying to leave my phone alone . I check like 5 times while walking around the store to see if anything changed. Because I'm so use to it . It's like I'm waiting for the love bombing

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And it's killing me knowing it won't come

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So now in parking lot blasting sad music to cry out. Because I was getting headaches for holding it in public.

sullen whale
# last terrace I'm doing OK. Well was. Til just now I got left in car and started to cry again...

thats really good you ate something and now you feel in a positive light and im happy for you PeepoHeart

I want you to know that the love bombing he does is really unhealthy as it is manipulative as right after he becomes distant.

It is good that you are letting all your emotions out at and you shouldnt be afraid of doing so

regardless of that, you should try your best to know that even if he comes back, he will ruin you again.

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I think you are getting the feeling to add him back as you are alone again like you mentioned before? hamster

last terrace
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I won't add him . I just do it to check if he's changed his mind. But I have to keep stopping myself form doing anything because I know I will just be ignored and nothing will come out of it but more pain. I already know I wasn't enough. I feel it . But I have to change it somehow. It's hard when I'm use to it the constant pull back. Because he knows I'll go like a lip puppy. He knows what to say. And I'm scared that I won't be strong enough to avoid it. I want to avoid it. But it's so easy to just check up like it's nothing. Even if I blocked and he blocked me. And he does it on purpose posting things because he knows how I am. That I will check. I need to learn to stop hurting myself by doing things like that. Because he isn't. He's not crying for me . He's not having a mental breakdown. He doesn't feel anything. I feel everything.

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Anytime I catch myself scrolling to try to find something of him. I put my phone back down . And take a full breaths . And say he isn't doing that so why should I.

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He knows how to play me as you say pulling the strings

sullen whale
# last terrace Anytime I catch myself scrolling to try to find something of him. I put my phone...

I am really proud you are finding ways to get rid of the impulsive feeling to get reminded of him and you taking full breaths to help you! hugheart

And yes, I dont think he will change because he is an awful human being and what he is doing is not okay at all, constantly remind yourself of that PeepoBlanket2

I know it is hard but think about future you, the future version of you shouldnt suffer with a person like him so take the actions now and try your best PeepoTeddy

It is gonna be hard, but i promise it will get better and as you mentioned, he has you on strings. It is now time for you to cut these strings for once and for all 💚

All you can do now is try avoid stuff that will remind you of him, distract yourself and eventually youll heal hug

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anyways, I have to go sleep. Enjoy the rest of your day!

sullen whale
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@last terrace how are you doing?

last terrace
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I'm doing a bit better today. I actually got some sleep 5 hrs. I spent all last nite wanting to look him up to see what he was doing or how he was cooking. But I stopped and decided to spend my nite instead erasing all our pics and counted mutual friend and family from my xbox accounts. It helped relieve me enough to eventually passout and rest. I also put all my photos and memories anything that will remind me into a secure folder 📂 on my phone away from my sight. If I hide it from myself it won't trigger me. I didn't touch my phone the whole nite which was hard as being with with for 6 years. I'm not use to the quiet and loneliness. It's like I'm eaiting to fall from a drop of a Rollercoaster. Peaceful but scary. Today I'm going out with family again to a water park to float my worries away and gives me more time off my phone . Which means no seeking. I'm doing ok but still suffering. While he's living his best life .

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I also contacted xbox to help me remove his account from mine since he changed password on his so all his constant screenshots and clips he's takin in his games with her . Won't show up on my phone . Which I feel is on purpose as I told him before we left to disconnect it so I wouldn't see anything. I don't want to know and be reminded of what he did again. Salt in a wound .

sullen whale
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mhm okay, im happy you are improving yourself and distancing yourself from him. I am very proud of you PeepoHeart

sullen whale
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@last terrace how you doing