well it’s time to start a new journal!!!!!! cause i always lose the other ones i make 😭 i will use this to talk about my days, and just give little life updates!!! please please feel free to comment in here!! i will respond!
#shelby’s little life journal
mighty heath
i’m going bowling! i’ve been in a bitttttt of a slump lately but im hoping i can work on getting the technique down today
you already know i’ll provide updates as they come
for anyone who doesn’t know about bowling, highest score/perfect game is 300. you can’t get higher than that. i’ll keep track of my scores and update in here!!
mighty heath
not going so hot so far 😭
mighty heath
it’s getting better! besides for this kinda weird guy watching me…
it’s creeping me out
mighty heath
i miss my friend who i’ll call mango, she graduated so im alone in high school now :((
mighty heath
so i definitely have a lot to vent about
a lot of crap happened in the past with my brother and i and uh yeah and im hurt by him because he won’t give me the slightest bit of attention when all i want is an older sibling in my life but my brother literally doesn’t even care about me then there’s the stuff that happened in the past that makes it worse and caseville is one of the only times he’ll ever spend time with me and if she comes he won’t give two craps about me and yeah and with his girlfriend around he’ll embarrass me and make me feel stupid
mighty heath
i really don’t wanna be here anymore. i really don’t. there’s no reason for me to even stay.
i feel broken, useless, hopeless.
final lynx
i really don’t wanna be here anymore. i really don’t. there’s no reason for me t...
Even in the darkest parts of space there is light. It takes light time to reach those areas. although it may seem like there is no reason now, now is the time you need to give yourself a reason.
mighty heath
i’m sick of peoples bullshit. everyone sucks. might just isolate and disappear.
tonight’s the night.
i really can’t fight anymore, and i’m sick of people telling me i am when i’m not. i’m sick of people saying it’ll get better. that’s like the worst thing you can say to someone.
final lynx
im sorry
mighty heath
maybe i’ll find a reason today to stay another day, but idk.
one day at a time, until it’s your last.
i’ll be back later on updates. i have therapy at 1pm (est time zone, so in about an hour) unfortunately
mighty heath
therapy went okay
i feel a bit better
i made some plans with people
what i learned today in therapy
-social work degree is better than psychology degree because it gives more job opportunities and more insurances will bill it
-scored a 17 on my questionnaire when i had my first therapy appointment and today scored a 15
-she can write a letter to college so i can take my dog with me/so it can live with me while i’m at college
-upon getting master’s degree to be a therapist i have to do 2 years of supervisor training, i meet with a supervisor every week to go over notes n what not then afterwards i am free to practice on my own
(i wanna be a therapist)
i have plans to hang out with my best friend tomorrow she’s coming over
then hang out with another friend who i haven’t seen in a while on wednesday
mighty heath
i know i can get mean/ignorant when i feel like shit but cappi if you see this i literally appreciate you so much so yeah i hope you know that im glad we got closer and stuff and yeah your someone i want to hold on to and not lose
mighty heath
i’m a bit disappointed cus my bsf cancelled on me cus she’s sick :((
“Hi, so basically I started feeling really sick a couple hours ago and have been puking so don’t think I can hangout tmr”
mighty heath
he was supposed to be my brother
but when we were younger
he made me suffer
like no other
i was a kid with a wallet
and all i wanted was to spend time with him
he knew that
but he still chose to use me
he stole my money
he lied to me
he manipulated me
all because he wanted vape
fast forward to now
we hardly talk
he doesn’t care to have a relationship with me
and seeing people with their older brothers hurt
because he made me question my worth
damn. can’t believe i wrote that.
mighty heath
i’m on my way to my friends house
mighty heath
i did something.. i’ve been in this talking stage and now he and i might hang out
mighty heath
my depression is genuinely getting worse 👍👍👍
mighty heath
what’s the point of living.
mighty heath
so i wanna die.
my talking stage ended it with me, my brother is being mean, i’m feeling lonely
everyone and everything is making me mad too
mighty heath
i’m rlly not wanting to live
mighty heath
everyone pisses me off