#Im lost? (dont know if im delusional or not)

24 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

floral quartz
#

This is kinda a yap session, so bear with me please!
Im turning 16 in a couple of weeks and I dont know who im gonna invite (for my party). I have a bunch of friends (kinda, I know them but I dont really know them). I used to know them (like 10+ ppl) but then i moved away for a couple years and then moved back. When I came back everyone else kinda moved on and found other ppl and found their groups, and I was kinda left out. I kept reaching out to others but no one really cared about me as much as I cared about them. That keeps happening to me; I dont know if im lovebombing ppl, trying to hard and scaring people away, but then Im scared of not trying hard enough and losing them that way. im a 100% or 0% kinda guy, which may be the problem?

So should i like stop chasing everyone else aroudn me and try to focus on myself (whatever that means???? help) and wait for someone to reach out to me as I do to others, or do I keep a mix of both????
(fyi I really like people and talking to them, but only the people im close with and comfortable with (I want to get comfortable with otehrs but dont know how to))

#

all my "friends" dont really want to hang out with me I think? and all my good freindships have ended pretty badly (i moved away, got ghosted)

#

Im also really scared that Im victimizing myslef when Im doing something really stupid and wrong on my part and I just need to try and act better (or im unlucky, or if Im really bad at finding people that would like me back)

#

also whats the diff betwen and freindship and a relationship (exluding all the romance stuff) - is it just like a deeper freindship where u talk more abt things, or is it almost the same as having a best freind? (fyi i havent had a relationship in my current emotional intelegence level or a best friend (I had one, but I moved and he moved on and I dont know if I should try to catch up (dont know how tho) or move on and prob be lonely for another year)

#

Im also both selfish and too giving - I only really care some times about how this social interaction will impact me (so i overyap as I like yapping) - but in other things I tend to give off parts of myself to see others happy - its like I gain so much from seeing others smile but I take all that back when texting (cant do it irl as i think i freeze up or smth, thats problem for later ???)

#

just if anyone actually reads all of this just give me advice bluntly

#

like slap me across the face with it yk

#

i need that

safe jay
#

Oh, just invite them if you think you were a good friend back then

#

Call it a reunion party or something

#

People change quite fast when they grow up.

#

It's been how long now?

#

A few years apart?

#

Yeah, I might also have trouble remembering that too

#

A lot of stuff probably happened in those years

#

I think you'll be fine if you want to be friends with them again

#

Go ahead

#

You'll do just fine

safe jay
#

Well, that's up to you, what do u wanna do?

safe jay
#

Try to talk to your best friend again

#

Something memorable