I feel like a worse person | The Therapy Center | Page 1

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 2:42 AM

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well whats making you more mean

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 2:43 AM

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I don't know I've just been acting more mean lately and I don't know why

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I have just felt like being

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Not as nice to people

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 2:43 AM

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have something recently happend that you think could be the reason?

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 2:46 AM

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Old best friend of mine kinda ruined my mental health and like it kinda started happening after that

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That was in like

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December

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And kinda just recognizing that a lot of people suck, and that being nice half the time just ends up

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hurting

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you

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ig

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idk

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 2:47 AM

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i know

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personaly i also have sometimes troubles with people who build a close bond

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then ruin it over a small thing

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 2:49 AM

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In retrospect it was bound to happen at some point, tensions over small things built up over time

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 2:49 AM

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but you keep waiting cuz you didnt want it to end

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 2:50 AM

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Yeah

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 2:50 AM

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i get that

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its hard to keep lose of a good time

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 2:51 AM

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It is

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 2:51 AM

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well do you have any other people that you got close to?

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 2:51 AM

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Yeah I do

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 2:53 AM

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do you think you are also getting more mean to them?

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 2:54 AM

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Theres two; with one of them I get a bit more aggrivated with them easier but the other no

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 2:54 AM

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is it the stress that makes you more mean

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the bad feeling of missing out on the same good times

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 2:55 AM

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I don't think it's stress because it's been a few months; but just over time I find myself being meaner to people in general

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 2:57 AM

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people anger you easier in the small things, something like that?

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 2:58 AM

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Most of the time I won't really get angry, but if annoyed, and at that point I kinda just get the urge to want to make them feel bad

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About something

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And with me getting angry with my friend; it's more so when I'm annoyed at something else and I'm tryna do something and he gets in the way of it

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 2:59 AM

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they get in the way of something, couldnt it be they are trying to help with that something?

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:00 AM

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Honestly it probably is

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:00 AM

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people not always mean harm

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bcz someone ment harm when you thought they just tried having a good time or to help, but end up meaning harm. bcz of that you think that every little bit of help or advice seems like harm what could trigger you a little bit

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it could be that

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just an thought

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it could be something else

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but to me it seems most like it could be that

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:04 AM

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It's usually just that if I get annoyed by something; whether that be someone purposefully trying to or something else. I usually tend to get easily annoyed at other things and since my friends are usually the only ones I'm actually fully interacting with I get mad at them

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:05 AM

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so you take out ur anger on them

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:07 AM

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Yeah..

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But it's not really, a common occurence

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It

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isn't a every day thing

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:08 AM

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so its something t hat happends rarely

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as in

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once a week

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or once a month

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:10 AM

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Its not once a week

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Maybe every other week

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:11 AM

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hmm well its something that happends

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a few times

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and u get stuck with it

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it sits with you

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:14 AM

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I think it all just stems from my old best friend cooking my mental health and me just not feeling like being nice to people anymore cause half the time it ends up hurting you

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:15 AM

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its the trust he broke into you

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well he or she ill just us they

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my bad on that one

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but its something they broke in you

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you have less trust in ppl?

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:16 AM

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She

Idk if I would call it less trust, just, less desire to care about how they feel

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:17 AM

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it end up feeling like you care to much about others and not about urself?

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well its sometimes okay to say no in some cases

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is sometimes better in the end

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:17 AM

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mortal tulip it end up feeling like you care to much about others and not about urself?

Yeah, that exactly

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:17 AM

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to say no

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to a situation

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:17 AM

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I've always had a hard time saying no

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:17 AM

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me too

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trust me i have been with wrong people

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it hurts more indeed

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:18 AM

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And Ig I do have less trust, I don't really know if it's relevant but a while later I got scammed out a fair amount of money cause I couldn't rlly say no,
That didn't really help my view of people

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:19 AM

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sometimes saying no in some sitiuations leaves the other person to do it themself with sometimes makes them improve on something and you keep ur own mentality better

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:19 AM

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raw coyote And Ig I do have less trust, I don't really know if it's relevant but a while la...

its a example you got urself why sometimes not saying no could be hard

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alot of ppl from my worse time also still own me money or other things

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its you have to build the knowledge of to know wich ppl are the ones u can trust

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its very hard

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not easy

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but a important skill everyone needs to have

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bcz the hard fact is there is ppl out there that will take advantage of it

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:21 AM

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I don't really think I've experienced it myself in a extreme way but I fear trusting the wrong person and making them my friend and then them doing something to me, in whichever way\

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:23 AM

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after i got hurt myself in a past relationship with trust i build a stronger sense of who to trust and who not

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its a skill easiest build up by bad situationships or events ect

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not the only way

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but the easiest

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people can suck

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everyone is for theirself

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you help others

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but some will let you go after to look better themselfs

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its usualy the same kind of pattern that happends

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its hard to recongize

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:27 AM

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Yeah

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I've seen and been told and experienced that most people just want to help themselves with no care for others

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It's hard to not do the same when you're surrounded by people like that

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:29 AM

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well being urself at the end of the day is the best part to do

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trust who you trust, do what you wanna do. feel like taking a rest? take one.

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:31 AM

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Dissapointing other people is hard though

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:32 AM

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well it sometimes might end up as a double sided sword

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its to recongize it

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:33 AM

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I just have to remember that a decent amount of people would disapoint me without a care

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:33 AM

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that is something u need to always remember

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and there are ppl who will help you

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recongize it

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:35 AM

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Sometimes its hard to recognize though because the people out to hurt you the most may act like people trying to help you

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:37 AM

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an demon makes it self look beautifal to mislead people, while a angel makes itself look scary to ward off evil

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:38 AM

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Yeah

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:39 AM

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its an example of people

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if its to tempting to a extra moment to see if its a geuine one or not

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:45 AM

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People aren't usually very nice 😔

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Most of the people that I'm around like at my school are usually just rude for no reason

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:46 AM

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they cant find a reason to be nice

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some ppl struggle with it

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and some ppl are just douches

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:47 AM

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Yeah..

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:47 AM

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you got ppl you are close to at school?

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:48 AM

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Yeah

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Most of the people there are fake tho

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:49 AM

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well its ppl you will almost never see againg in a few years

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no reason to impress them or get validated by them

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:50 AM

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Yeah but being judged by others sucks

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And I don't know why

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I know I have no reason to care about what they think

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:50 AM

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raw coyote Yeah but being judged by others sucks

hearing bad things about urself in anyway always sucks

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:51 AM

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Personally

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It bothers me A LOT less if It's said to my face but it sucks so much if it's said behind you're back

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:52 AM

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it does yeah

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me myself i have been almost bullied every year

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i have been in the education system for 13 years

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its something i became numb to

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its not the best way

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but you can become numb to it

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:53 AM

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That's... a lot

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I don't believe I've ever really experienced bullying; or if I have I didn't really notice it

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:54 AM

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not noticing it could be a wall that just been broken

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a reality sslap to the face

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knowing when someone did something mean

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:54 AM

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I probably have; except I don't really see it as bullying more so as just people being rude

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:55 AM

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could be the same case

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you didnt take in rudeness usualy as

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well rudness

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but now you do

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:56 AM

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Before I still recognized it but just didn't do anything about it

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Nothing rlly changed about that actually

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If it's said to my face I kinda just shrug it off

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Ik I said it before but it's just when it's said behind my back that's upsetting

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:57 AM

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it feels like betrayel

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well some ppl just mess around with those kinda things

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:58 AM

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Wdym?

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What things?

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:59 AM

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as in things that could trigger or bait someone into being a mean person

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 3:59 AM

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Such as rage bait?

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 3:59 AM

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its an example

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:00 AM

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I find myself rage baiting people now; never really did that before

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Even if they didn't do anything to mer

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Just for the sake of doing that

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:01 AM

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did you find urself doing it for a good reason or just for the fun of it

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or you just

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do it

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:01 AM

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Both, depends on the time

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Depends on the person too

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:02 AM

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you do it to annoy a person ur upset with?

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:02 AM

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I've done that before yeah

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:02 AM

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a way to cope with the upsetness

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:02 AM

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Another thing is like if my friend has a friend I might do it to them for the love of the game

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Like I'm not being serious about it but I am at the same time

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:03 AM

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so you have somewhat of a reason

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but you dont really validate urself of it

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:04 AM

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Yeah

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It can be fun but it doesn't make me feel better about myself or something like that

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:05 AM

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is it you dont see anything better to do?

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:05 AM

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I won't go out and do it for no reason

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Like I won't go from person to person just doing it

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Well

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Ig it rlly is if someone just annoys me or something

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Or if it's a speciffic person

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:06 AM

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so its ur way of getting back to someone

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:07 AM

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Yeah I guess so

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:07 AM

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instead of shrugging it off you feel like u got to do something else

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:07 AM

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Idk

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It just depends on my mood that day

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:08 AM

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you cope differently depending on ur mood

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:08 AM

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Yeah sometimes I can just not care, other times

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i

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idk

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:08 AM

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if i recall correclty its something that could be checked out for a disorder

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not to make it sound scary

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but a disorder as in

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schizo, not saying you are but so you know what im talking about

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alot of ''odd'' behavouirs can be explained by a disorder

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:10 AM

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Could be

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:10 AM

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i know we dont really know eachother, but if i were you based of that i would myself check it out for a disorder

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:10 AM

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I wouldn't

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Just for the reason being of

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If I have one

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I don't really want to know that unless it actually gets to a really bad point

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:10 AM

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well thats true yeah

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:10 AM

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I feel like knowing it would make it worse

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:11 AM

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if it isnt in a bad point it could just be a different type of cope

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the human brain can be complex

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disorder or not

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:12 AM

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Yeah..

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The best friend I told you about before

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She had a fair amount of diagnosed mental disorders

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It didn't really bother me except for the fact that

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Well she ended up being very upset quite often for many reasons

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More or less she was pretty depressed

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And

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She only relied on me, only

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Always

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and over time I just couldn't really

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deal

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with all of that

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:15 AM

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its all of their vents and struggle is to much to carry

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:15 AM

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It wasn't just that though

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Yeah she would vent and thats fine with me

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I'll listen and I have no problem with that

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Our personalites clashed but aligned at the same time

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I consider myself a fairly happy person and she was more or less.. gloomy a lot

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Which brought me down

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And on top of that she resurfaced a lot of my bad habits that I had gotten rid of

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:18 AM

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that triggerd you?

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:18 AM

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It didn't trigger me

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It just got tiring over time

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:18 AM

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have you explained to to them?

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:18 AM

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I did

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This is past tense by the way I just wanna vent to someone cause I can't really tell this to any of my friends which is what I normally do

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:20 AM

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raw coyote And on top of that she resurfaced a lot of my bad habits that I had gotten rid o...

I'm talking about things like procrastinating a lot, staying up really late on nights I shouldn't such as school nights

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:20 AM

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i mean a place like this is percet

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and you dont like being resufraced

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why that?

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:22 AM

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I mean like she brought those habits back after I had got rid of them

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:23 AM

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thats what brought in anger? or a other feeling

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:24 AM

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It just made me upset over time I guess

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More so after it was all over

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It was worth it at the time

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:26 AM

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its mainly working on stuff to imrpove

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i have to go now

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i have a doctors appointment in a few

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:26 AM

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mortal tulip i have to go now

Bye have a good one

mortal tulip Jun 13, 2025, 4:26 AM

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goodluck on it

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you too ill see you around

raw coyote Jun 13, 2025, 4:26 AM

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Thank you I apreciate it

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Cya

#I feel like a worse person