#My girl problems, M22

1 messages · Page 2 of 1

frank ledge
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I cant send photos in this forum post damnit

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I’ll send it in my rant journal instead

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Trina’s texting style has been aggravating for me to read. It angers me

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BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT

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OHHHH MY GOD

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OKAY

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Yeahhhhh uhhh she offered me to go somewhere and shes like pressuring me to respond fast and make up my mind

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I told her I’m out, no thanks

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Anyways

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Rayuh thoooo ahahahaaa yeppp

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That’s my girl

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Last time Raya and I hung out, she drove safely because I asked her to…

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So she has a pair of ears y’know

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Trinitys out and Rayas in

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Love me a cougar

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The older the sexier

rotund ice
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I read the texts

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bro you realize she is using like tactics on you

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Not good ones

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like groomer tactics and scammer tactics

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groomer tatic: making you feel lucky bc your dating someone way older than you, where have we heard that, STING OPERATIONS

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Scammer tactics: Not giving you any time to make a rational decision by forcing you to decide quick

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where have we heard that

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EVERY SCAM OPERATION EVER

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again im not forcing you to do anything I just want you to realize the huge red flags here

simple hazel
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Yeah man your 100% being groomed

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the red flags have never been bigger before

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and you got kids under the age of 17 telling you this

rotund ice
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its not even grooming but its still to big of an age gap

simple hazel
rotund ice
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yeah in 10 years she will be talking about retiring

simple hazel
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10-20 years she's gonna be fucking dead

rotund ice
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and vision your only gonna have been working a career for a few years

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well I didnt wanna put it like that...

simple hazel
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but out of all of them this one has the tightest grip on him right?

rotund ice
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by far

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its not even really a grip

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its a chokehold

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shes completely manipulated him into thinking hes lucky a 40 year old wants him

simple hazel
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that and the fact that she has "experience" thats what I noticed he tends to talk about quite a bit, is how experienced she is, especially when it comes to having ||sex||

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I mean its not like he doesn't see the red flags, he pointed them out himself

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btw vision dude, one way or another this is gonna end badly

rotund ice
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hes letting the yellow flag carry his thoughts

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Not even yellow

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orange at best

simple hazel
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vision your literally the definition of walking on thin ice

rotund ice
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its not even thin ice

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its just cold water

simple hazel
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your are this close 🤏 to drowning

rotund ice
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its every analogy but worse

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vision your future is more important that pleasure

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idc if im yount

simple hazel
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at this point raya is literally dragging you into the water

rotund ice
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young**

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it doesnt take a 20+ year old man to tell you that

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or woman

simple hazel
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right

rotund ice
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Vision I know I seemed like an immature troll at the beginning and sometimes I am but thats just because I had no hope for your situation

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but now the signs are to clear not to bring up

simple hazel
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lol not much on my end, pretty much the same, Ive been here this entire time just never said anything but dude the flags are planting themselves all around you and the wind is blowing them on your face

rotund ice
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exactly

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you cant let sex and pleasure stop you from seeing the truth

simple hazel
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that part

rotund ice
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oh I just realized

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the scam tacitcs part I was wronh

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bc that was his ex that said that

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BUT THAT DOESNT CHANGE HOW I FEEL ABT THE OTHER ONE

frank ledge
frank ledge
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I understand everyone’s concern above in my forum post about the relationship between me and this 44 year old woman, named Raya.
I’m aware that she may have tendencies that align with grooming, like checking out boys that are underage and trying to get friction between them/ask for physical relationships with them. Along with more alarming red flags such as reckless driving/putting others in danger, driving under influence of substances, doing drugs.

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I’d like to say that our romance and sexual relationship is reciprocal and in no way did she pressure me to have one with her. If I told her I wanted to be only friends with her, she would respect that.

frank ledge
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I think I can choose not to be psychologically affected by it. Maybe that will happen to me in the future. Maybe I am naive and young, and her prey. But I’m with the girl and she makes me happy. Despite her life that is an utter wreck, and her suspicious liking towards younger guys.

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She even admitted to checking out guys who are 17 years old, and this other 16 year old boy who she was asking to get “hugs” from. It’s weird, because you can tell she’s flustered by the presence of teenage boys.

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I’m not a teenager, I’m 21, but I was a teenager a few years ago. The only ages I’ve ever known, were teenage years. That’s the thing. So I’m not far from it.

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I’m closer to a teenager than I am closer to a grown-up, and that’s the reality of the situation. Her on the other hand? On the bridge to 50.

frank ledge
frank ledge
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I mean, I think, it’ll affect me in the future — in just acknowledgment of the fact I have to hide my relationship with her to get by in my life.

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The fact that my family would disapprove of her and i’s relationship, and that I have to lie about her being just a friend.

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It’s mentally contorting at times, because it’s also like, as long as you view yourself as an adult, then you aren’t being groomed. If you view yourself as a kid, you are.

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I don’t know how to apply the possible dangerous outcomes to her and I. I want everything to go smoothly.

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She had also told me, “I do want kids in the future, but not right now.” when I told her, “I cant give you kids.” But it’s like… she’s 44… could she even have them anymore? Unless she adopts one.

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It’s also like… no older men are interested in her. She doesn’t have a house, she lives at her moms house and occasionally owns apartments, blows all her money away on drugs, gets a job here and there — sometimes doesn’t have one.

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Her age intimidates me, because I’m constantly considering like, what if this is the night I go out with her and something very bad happens because of her?

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Like I had told her… 1000 steps ahead of me.

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It’s a risky relationship to begin with already, because of the reckless driving and drugs, but her being 44 is another aspect.

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In the future I’ll have a feeling that I’ll look back and think, “wow when I was 21 I went out with a 44 year old woman, she coulda killed me if she wanted to, I was wild back then to walk into strangers cars and homes while thinking nothing of it. Oh, how I’ve made it this far.”

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And you see with the lady being a lot older than me, we don’t have a similar stage of mind almost. I’m a lot more paranoid about her than she is about me, like I have less trust in her. I don’t question my safety when I go out with girls around my age.

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I question if she has ulterior motives or hidden intentions. That she could probably conceal that a lot better than girls my age. But she hasn’t done anything to me, to hurt me yet, or any weird signs of plans.

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It’s like, how can you be so okay and fine with seeing a 21 year old guy like me? Newly, an adult. Or be so fine with me hiding her and I? Or be fine with thinking underage boys are attractive and good looking when they could be mistaken for her sons.

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And what if I’m being groomed but I’m accepting it because I like her, lots? Shit, that trauma might be future me’s problem to deal with.

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She’s good at getting close to me fast. She’ll take me to all these different types of places. Has all this time on her hands to be with me.

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Her giving car rides to underage guys who call her a pedophile… that weighs on me too as a sexual partner of hers. It irks me out too.

fickle egret
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why put yourself in that position in the first place?

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are you choosing to stay until something does happen because you are trying to figure out her intentions with you?

rotund ice
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Discipline

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Yourself

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Realize you have to much to lose

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It's not worth it

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I know to well from experience, its not worth your future

rotund ice
rotund ice
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Your body is being destroyed by external things

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Hers by external and by age

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There's only so much 1 person can handle

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You wanna marry this girl? You gotta invite your family to the wedding. Wanna live with this girl? It's all gonna rely on your income.

frank ledge
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I like her

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I’m not dating her long term

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I’m not marrying her either

balmy forum
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@frank ledge

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Stay away from your groomer

rotund ice
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then you dont love her

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you lust her

simple hazel
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yeah thats pretty much just lust

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its pretty clear your intrigued in the fact that she has "experience"

simple hazel
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if you know your not gonna date her long term why even bother

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Okay my biggest question for you is why do you like raya?

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what makes her so special from all the other girls, why are you choosing to stay with her and entertain her, and what does she have that has you in such a chokehold that you can already see the alarming bells ringing in your mind and yet choose to stay, if not lust being that reason then what is? "experience"?

frank ledge
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I like Raya because we validate each others problems and accept our flaws some being ones we both have/share, she’s created memories with me already and is great at time management

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Sunday July 6th
How my relationship with Raya is going

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This is gonna be weird but, I went out with Raya and Jasmine again. I had met a few of Rayas friends, and all 4 of them do meth and are smoking it today around us.

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One of Rayas friends her name is Omara, and Raya told me “Omara has the hots for you. They cross every line with everyone in life. She even asked for your shoe size as the first thing she said to you. She likes you, and I told her that you’re off limits because you’re my boyfriend. She can’t have you, and if you give her a little bit of energy she’ll think you’re pursuing her.”

frank ledge
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This girl is fs not the best for me, the drugs is a bit out of hand with her

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Sorry that your guys mission to get me to block Raya and distance herself from my life did not work in abrupt messages telling me to

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It’s also like Raya and I just want “fun” or sex reciprocally it’s not a serious relationship but she calls me her boyfriend so

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But yeah I got a new girl checking me out her name is Omara and she’s Rayas good friend, she was ripping her meth pipe while just staring me down through her eyebrows like ohh ohh shit i already got 1 girl on my radar I don’t need 2 of em

rotund ice
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Thats not a "oh hes a temporary thing" type of stuff to say

frank ledge
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I’m not giving her kids though so

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I’m sorry guys I know how much you want me to stay away from her and how I brought up drugs. Which are very bad for you. Don’t do anything that’s being done in this forum post.

frank ledge
frank ledge
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I fear that I cannot be told by others or have the decision made for me, to break up with this girlfriend of mine.

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But it is something, I will have to do, in the near future to break up with her.

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“My groomer” lol

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She wants me to bring her up to my family, and wants to meet aunt and sisters. She wants me to get them to accept her age and our relationship. I told her I’m trying to hold off on that much as I can.

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Other than my cousin, a guy, who’s in the psych ward right now.

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I mean, there’s a reason why I’m trying to hide her and I.

frank ledge
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Alright… I’m gonna talk about this other girl. My ex girlfriend.

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Trina is the name.

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She had sex with this guy, while we were on a few months of break from our relationship. She didn’t tell me about him, but she treated him like her boyfriend. Trina even told him, he wasn’t allowed talking to any other girls when they were together. That’s a wild level of possessiveness.

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I find out who the guy is, I contact him, we meet each other, because I make that shit happen. Next, we talk about her.

rotund ice
frank ledge
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Lmao

rotund ice
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Dont tell her your putting that off

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or sorry your aunt

frank ledge
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Yeah I told her, “Let me tell them that.” But I don’t think I ever will.

rotund ice
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well dont lie to her

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she obviously wants you long term

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theres been enough lying

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the truth is gonna come out and its gonna hurt alot more in 2 months than it will now

frank ledge
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I’m on the phone with Raya and she said, “You should tell your aunt that I called you infallible.”

rotund ice
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the longer you wait the more its gonna hurt ppl

frank ledge
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That’s a synonym for perfect, by the way. She called me perfect, unable to make mistake or do wrong.

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Hurt people, really? I ain’t hurting anyone.

rotund ice
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Its gonna hurt the girl that wants to marry you when you just tell her "yeah I only wanted you short term"

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Please ive been in a situation like this

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and it makes me start crying bc its like deja vu

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I waited and waited and never thought maybe I should not use her short term

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and now its my biggest regret

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I'll never forget it bc of how much of a mistake it was

frank ledge
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There’s a difference between me and you. I’m 21, you’re 13, apparently. Unless you’re older than you’ve told.

rotund ice
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I never said I was 13

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I said I was 15

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and that doesnt matter

frank ledge
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Raya doesn’t wanna marry me, we both want each other for the short term

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It’s a reciprocated relationship, you know?

rotund ice
frank ledge
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Oh, ok, not big of a difference.

rotund ice
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And it is similar

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you think age plays such a big role???

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You think it doesnt matter bc it was a highschool realationship??????

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im done trying to help you

frank ledge
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I get you’ve been in a similar position before

rotund ice
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everytime I try you just push me to the edge

frank ledge
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Okay, then you can stop trying, I’ve heard enough

rotund ice
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This is why the stereotype of "men use women" is such a popular thing

frank ledge
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I haven’t done anything to you. You choose to be here, talk to me, about my life. My decisions. Remember who you are, a stranger to me.

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Yea, and women use men too.

rotund ice
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remember who your therapist is

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A STRANGER

frank ledge
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It goes both ways. Sometimes, men and women consensually use BOTH of each other.

rotund ice
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yet everyone opens up to them why????

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You dont know them

frank ledge
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You’re not a therapist to me, don’t try to take the place or responsibility of that one. Let’s make that clear, kid

rotund ice
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Their certification could be fake

rotund ice
frank ledge
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What’re you? Venting about me now? In my forum?

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This is just you, doubting people who have had years of reading psychological textbooks and studying the brain and that crap. They’re called professionals.

rotund ice
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No Im just trying to help you but you think just because Im 15 the problems I have cant happen to you

frank ledge
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It doesn’t matter what age you are, I don’t have to listen to you man.

rotund ice
frank ledge
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Don’t try to poke me, and try to guilt me into doing anything. It’s not happening. That doesn’t work on me.

rotund ice
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Im not guilting you into anything

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I just wanted to caution you about using women

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but you just think its not serious bc im 15

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you think I was lying abt it making me cry? Bc I wasnt I wanted to help you bc you reminded me of someone I knew that was willing to change

frank ledge
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I’m not using women, the woman’s using me. Next vent.

rotund ice
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someone that became better and didnt throw their life away bc I was 13 at the time

rotund ice
frank ledge
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Fuck, this kids never heard of friends with benefits before

rotund ice
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maybe bc I want a real realationship and not let lust own my life?

frank ledge
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Another word from you I don’t like and I’m pinging a moderator, kid

rotund ice
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go ahead

frank ledge
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I’m not bluffing. Get out of here if you’re gonna keep shaming my problems.

rotund ice
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whats said is said and everyone knows the truth idc abt getting banned

frank ledge
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<@&923393222187810846>

proper tideBOT
bold ginkgo
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@frank ledge Yes, snowy is a stranger to you. You do not have to take their advice, but you can do it in a polite way that doesn't use their age to invalidate any wisdom or advice they try to give you. If their listening style doesn't appeal to you, you can block them

@rotund ice It seems like this user has expressed they don't want your help. We appreciate you trying, but it's best to step back and not interact with this user going forward as your conversations with them don't seem productive. Vision seemed pretty set that they didn't want you to continue to offer support. In those instances, drop it and find someone else to support if you wish, or step back from the app for a bit. Furthermore, what Vision does with their life is ultimately their choice. Any actions they do that hurt themselves or others WILL have consequences if they choose to take part in them. You cannot force them to do something they don't wish to do

If anyone is a direct harm (physically) to themselves or others, you may report it to staff. Otherwise, please block eachother

frank ledge
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Sometimes… it’s like.
Person A, says, “Can I vent?”
And person B says, “Yeah you can vent.”
Then person B asks, “Can I give you advice, or do you just want me to listen to your problems?”
And person A says, “I want you to listen only, don’t give me advice right now.”

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That’s what permission and respect is

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Holy crap the mods and admins just pull up in this forum and read the title of it, LOL. That’s embarrassing for me

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Blushing

dense sky
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dude been keeping up with this story

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read all of it

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you are a great writer man holy shit

weary umbra
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right

dense sky
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can see half of this and your life has interesting stuff going on

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absolutely great writer

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i hope it all plays out for you though man stay safe 🫶🫶 if youre gonna stay with raya i hope it just goes over decently with your family and she doesnt have anymore influence on you thats too bad

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ping me when youre updating this if you can dude

frank ledge
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Thanks for the hearts and appreciation, for sure is heartfelt alright

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That’s the comments I like to see

simple hazel
# frank ledge Fuck, this kids never heard of friends with benefits before

friends with benefits? the woman is calling you her bf and trying to meet family and shit, I highly doubt she considers you two "friends with benefits" if thats the case then you need to tell her that and yet? you haven't, your letting the woman have some fucking delusion that this 21 year old boy is in love with her and is gonna stay with her for the rest of her days, and lets be honest thats not long like I said before, the woman is most likely gonna die in the next 10-20 years.....atp yall are both toxic af, you for being with her for the sake of sex weather you think that or not its true your literally with her for sex and on her side she's fucking what? 44 dating a 21 year old thats just insane in its self, you were 5 when she was 18 like lmao its bad regardless of how old you both are rn

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anyway Im not gonna give you any advice as you clearly dont want the shit and would rather continue walking down the path you are weather that path is smooth and paved out or covered with glass and nails for you to walk barefooted, your 21, your an adult and young or wtv you get to do with your life as you please but yk everyones telling you your fucking your life up and thats pretty much that

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if you dont wanna listen to all the clear warning signs that perfectly fine

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but stay safe man yeah?

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keep yourself protected and be logical when its needed

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your not gonna be 21 forever

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raya is not gonna live forever

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and your not gonna have the life you have right now forever

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it might disappear in 20-30 years which is long but it will vanish at some point

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just make sure your ready to make that change when it happens

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and yeah stay safe and enjoy your life man 👍

simple hazel
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oh and one more thing

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sorry

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this isnt advice or anything but

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just for the future

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please dont think someone is incapable of helping you because of their age

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maturity isn't exactly something that just comes with age it comes with experience

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I have helped plenty of people above me age who all doubted that I could help them because I was quote on quote "young" and yet by the end of our conversations they were thanking me

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so yeah

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anyway

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you seem like a cool dude vision

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your story writing is sick

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and yeah

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peace enjoy life

frank ledge
# simple hazel friends with benefits? the woman is calling you her bf and trying to meet family...

I told Raya that I’m not gonna be with her forever and I had said last night to her, “Nothing’s forever” via phone call. Raya was the first one to ask me, “Do you just wanna have fun?” Aka only a physical relationship and I had agreed with that. However, Raya and I thought we might as well be in each others lives enough to be girlfriend and boyfriend. Her and I are on the same page with what we do and neither of us are being hurt emotionally unless we do say so. I’m aware she’s not gonna be around forever but that’s fine with me to accept. I understand how crazy it sounds, stuff is moving fast with her and I, I’m being safe as I can be. She even started driving better and more safely because I asked her to.

frank ledge
# simple hazel please dont think someone is incapable of helping you because of their age

I don’t, but if I ask someone to stop then I’d like them to instead of saying things about me that are untrue to try and provoke me to react. I accept advice from all ages. I also talk about a lot of stuff in this forum that would just make more sense for an older audience to grasp who have also lived through, people with more experience with life and relationships in general. I do thank you and everyone else who has come in my forum post showing concern for me, and questioning this relationship. I get that it’s to want to protect me, and I wanna be safe myself. But I do this to myself. It’s risks that I’m willing to take, that I probably shouldn’t. I know I’ll be okay.

frank ledge
simple hazel
simple hazel
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Well if it seems like raya is changing ig thats cool

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but you should still be cautious around her

frank ledge
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July 8th
I’m unsure how long Raya and I’s relationship will last. She’s sending me lots of reels that are, sexual, that she wants to do with me. I’ve been tired recently mentally and physically, and been experiencing some side effects or symptoms of light mania. She’s been asking me to send more pictures of myself and I’ve been feeling more insecure of myself so I don’t want to despite her calling me perfect. I have therapy to start going to again that I’ve been skipping. Maybe I’m just mentally tired right now, but relationships are high maintenance and a lot of work. I’m gonna probably give her a call and mention my symptoms of schizophrenia and mania, since I haven’t opened up about that to her yet.

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What’s burdening me mentally too is feeling like I’m not enough for her. In age, experience, assets. It’s a bit shameful to tell others that you’re also in a relationship just for sex. I’m sharing vulnerable parts of myself with her and feel timid because of it after mentally processing the physical stuff we did. All under the influence of weed or alcohol, not that I mind that, that’s fine, but still.

simple hazel
frank ledge
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Well relationships are hard they are never easy. There’ll be ups and downs. Good and bad that you both have to accept and rationalize on whether or not it’s worth it

simple hazel
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true

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buttt

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dont you think you could try to make it easier for yourself?

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instead of just accepting the fact that "relationships are hard"

frank ledge
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Just gotta accept some things and I do

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The thought of my ex girlfriend Trina still upsets me.

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”Trina”
My ex girlfriend who I’ve lost a lot of trust for. She’s losing me as a friend too, I talked to her about her broken English and she said she’ll stop using slang, whatever slang that was. ||She still slept with that other guy,|| and was weirdly possessive over him and didn’t even let him talk to other girls when they acted like they were dating. It makes me sick to think about them together, like disgusted. All the stuff I heard about them doing. NSFW warning ||Apparently they did each other in the bathroom of a clinic, drank each others piss, other stuff revolving around feet, nasty stuff.||

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I don’t ||kink shame|| anyone but it broke my heart a bit to hear she did all that and didn’t tell me. She doesn’t see anything wrong with it at all. She broke the other guys heart too by leaving him for me. Just an awful situation to be a part of. I hate how she hurt both of us and ended up with nobody, I feel bad for her. Like I wanna help her but I’m failing to.

simple hazel
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you cant help everyone

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the same way you dont want help from some people like snowy or me

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you cant help trina

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if she enjoys the way she's living her life then thats on her

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if you enjoy living your life then thats on you

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right? everyone has the way they chose to live out their life and though others may try or dislike it at the end of the day no one on the outside can change a humans mind once its set

frank ledge
simple hazel
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but yeah, cant help everyone man

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so dont feel guilty about something you cant control

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she is her own human and so are you

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just walk away from it

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you tried, you fail, you learn from it, you move on

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thats life, full circle

frank ledge
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You’re right about that

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On another hand, I’ve been feeling some downs and ups recently. People in my life are questioning if I’m having an episode or if I’m manic. I don’t know what to tell them. It’s a maybe. Raya also took some pictures of me last weekend that were really nice angles of me, I looked great in them.

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They were some of my best shots. Raya was using her camera and Jasmine even started laughing a bit. It was me laying down, dozing off to sleep, I guess both girls liked the sight of me in that pose. It was candid. Im not the most photogenic but Rayas good at capturing the best of me.

simple hazel
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but it makes since considering how highly you talk of her

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idk it just lines up pretty well

frank ledge
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She was calling me perfect last night. Over and over again. Like appreciating my body from head to toe. It’s definitely a flustering experience to be called that and engrossed in such a manner. To be seen as perfect by somebody.

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I mean, Trina didn’t say that sort of stuff to me. That’s where Raya’s charm comes in.

simple hazel
simple hazel
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so of course she would be more "mature" to focus on stuff like that, as you said she had way more experience beyond your years

simple hazel
frank ledge
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I like your company, Liz. I appreciate you here, by the way

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You made me feel better about when I vented about Trina, above. Took my mind off her

simple hazel
simple hazel
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when it comes down to helping people sometimes you have to see their point of view and not just your personal judgement

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thats all I did, look at things from your view

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well not even help

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just a conversation really

frank ledge
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Yea I know my relationship with Raya is controversial, I’m trying to sort it out and mentally process everything I’m getting involved with

simple hazel
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it takes time for the human mind to sort itself out

frank ledge
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I noticed to date Raya it means a lowering of standards. Like my standards have evaporated. I don’t like that. I don’t like the person I’m more of being shaped into as I spend time with her.

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This person fucking tweaking behind the wheel with my friend in the back. Her getting super close to me all of a sudden. I don’t like how fast I became her boyfriend either. It shouldn’t be that quick. It was only that fast because we had sex.

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I’m like, is this person addicted? What the fuck is exactly going on in this woman’s life that I’m now a part of. And I almost feel like her prey. That she caught. I don’t like being so easy to get, honestly.

#

Doing meth casually every week is not okay for your fucking health? I’m sorry but that shit isn’t like alcohol. You look at Raya sometimes and her eyes are so aggressively open it looks like they’re falling out of her skull.

#

A part of me is a bit mad, that I’ve accepted this relationship too soon.

#

And I think an older part of myself that’s more mature, knows how wrong it is, for this woman to reckon with me, this younger version of myself, the me who’s just becoming an adult.

#

I am risking my fucking life every time I hang out with that woman.

#

Like okay, I’m supposed to be okay with all this bullshit you’re doing now? I don’t know about that. I’m feeling hotheaded over it.

#

It makes me feel empty inside too, honestly. The relationship that can’t go further than just sex, and her trying to appeal to me, a younger guy by acting around my age.

#

Last night I was just thinking to myself, and felt grossed out by what we had done. I don’t know if I could help this girl out of whatever she’s going through. And the relationship is nearly almost just physical. I would find a girl my age that has a similar body to her but it’s rare as hell to see a woman that’s over 6 feet tall.

#

She’s the tallest woman I’ve met yet. Extra chromosomes and shit.

#

I’ve been having auditory hallucinations of people talking bad about me over Raya, and shaming me for being in a relationship with her. I hate how Rayas trying to make our relationship public through getting my aunts thumbs up about it. Like this will not be fucking accepted, lmao. Just gotta take that for what it is. Plus I don’t want people knowing I’m in a relationship with her.

#

Like hell nah. I don’t need all those teenage guys complaining to me, “You need help, you need to break up with her now, I’m embarrassed for you, she’s a predator” like yea I fucking know

#

TALL BUT LIKES METH UHHH WHATS THE BALANCE OF PROS AND CONS HERE

#

I’m so fucked like actually

#

IM IN OVER MY HEAD LMAOOOOO

#

||SHES SENDING ME LIKE VIDEOS OF SEXUAL THINGS SHE WANTS TO DO WITH ME, LIKE I MAY HAVE MY HEAD UNDER WATER BY NOW||

#

Connection?

#

It’s just not that simple

#

This is someone who I’ve been getting to know for mayb a couple months now, I’ve even met her parents. Her friends.

#

“Harder to navigate.”

#

Yea Buddy she navigates my junk quite well, I don’t know, that sex was fucking amazing. That’s what’s keeping me in the relationship

#

I’m insane whether or not I’m in a relationship with this girl

#

I just had said I don’t wanna hear people saying “Oh just break up with her!” Like… easier said than done

#

I would’ve done that weeks ago if I wanted to cut her off completely

#

Another thing about this girl is that she loves pictures. Constantly asks for pics of me. I’m like uhhh who’s gonna be seeing these? Your friends who wanna bury my body in the future? I don’t know about that. Hahaha. My trust is low.

#

||She said she wants to start FaceTiming to do freaky shit on the camera. I’m not doing that. The last thing I need is for her to start screenshotting that and putting it in places that I don’t know of.||

#

I mean…

#

||Her nudes are just sitting in one of our open chats. The trust this woman has for me is high.||

#

That’s fucking wild to me. Like what? Do you not care? I mean, wow. Yeah. I’d never leak that sort of stuff, but still.

frank ledge
#

This forum post is absolutely vulgar

#

I just got into the craziest argument with my aunt and sisters just now too

#

My head has been spinning ever since I met Raya

#

I wonder by the time I’m in my late twenties will I look back and be like, “What the fuck was I doing in the car of a 44 year old woman going 150 down the road smoking weed, and screwing her after she smoked meth”

#

I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with my head

#

The movie called my life is just intensifying

#

My relationship with Trina was laid back as fuck, not Fast&Furious 5

#

NSFW ||That woman literally sucked me off for 20 minutes after she was rotating a meth pipe around 2 hippies||

#

Like what was I thinking I don’t know

#

Goddddddd

#

Why did this Trinity girl have to make such dumb decisions with another guy

#

Like honeyyy are you ready for another meth sesh

#

Fucking hell.

#

Jasmine likes Raya a lot too

#

Those spoiler NSFWs are JUMPSCARES I suggest not checking them out unless you have a strong gut LOL

#

You know what I might just do some drugs with Raya

#

Because I’m not a judgey guy.

#

Not meth, my own stuff.

frank ledge
#

GODDDD

#

OK

#

WE’RE COOL WE’RE CALM

#

THATS 2 EXTRA MOUTHS ON ME

#

LOL

#

I have a feeling that Raya is hiding a meth addiction from me, honestly. Because she has a whole dealer for it, has her own baggies here and there.

#

And she’s getting these like open areas of skin on her face? The type you get that addicts have from scratching their skin over and again. Yeah. I noticed that. She doesn’t get much but apparently she uses a cream to make them go away.

#

If you’re fucking itching your skin off to the point you’re causing wounds from drugs you have a problem.

#

Plus like her face… hollow as hell. She has this hole in her neck that’s so deep. Like her bodys wearing out and thinning out so much. This lady will pout her lips and have the widest eyes ever in the casual everyday. Like I don’t think this is JUST recreational usage

#

Like you know when you suck your cheeks in? She’ll have that as one of her expressions

#

And she just looks super fucking high at times. And clearly tweaking off something.

#

No wonder she’s like, “ILL BEAT UP GUYS OR GIRLS FOR YOU JAKE. JUST GIVE ME THE WORD.”

#

Like please

#

Meth makes you fucking aggressive man

#

Raya has me in a deep chokehold

#

Her and her photography addiction

#

The taking pictures is a bit creepy and has perverse vibes but whatever

#

I’m like half knocked out and she’s going, click click click

#

AT THIS FESTIVAL WE WERE AT SHE WAS LIKE DANCING HIGH-OFF THE METH AND SHE WAS SUPERRR OFF BEAT LOL

#

LIKE A BIT CUTE BUT IT WAS FUNNY AS HELL I WAS TRYING NOT TO LAUGH AT HOW AWKWARD SHE LOOKED

#

HER DANCING WAS NOT FITTING OR SUITABLE FOR THE MUSIC PLAYING AT ALL.

#

I COULDNT EVEN DANCE BESIDE HER I WAS SCARED SHE WAS GONNA ACCIDENTALLY HIT ME LMFAOOO

#

SOME LIGHT SHUFFLING HERE OR THERE I SUPPOSE, WITH HER FRIEND, OMARA, THAT HAS A CRUSH ON ME APPARENTLY

simple hazel
#

Like M said, You should leave lmaoo

#

raya has you in a chokehold

#

also your most likley gonna keep feeling like shit until you exit the cadge you have walked into and shut the door and locked yourself in

#

your body is practcially telling you whats wrong, your brain is just choosing not to listen

#

thats pretty much it

frank ledge
#

More like my brain is telling me what’s wrong and my body is choosing not to listen

simple hazel
#

well how do you fix that?

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walk away from the danger

#

not run towards it

frank ledge
simple hazel
#

I know man hard right

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"easier said than done"

simple hazel
frank ledge
simple hazel
#

cool

#

I think raya might just die from meth than old age atp

frank ledge
#

The shame I feel

frank ledge
#

July 9th, Wednesday
Raya, my current girlfriend.
I found out through my friend Jasmine, that Raya got in a car crash. She stopped taking her mood stabilizers/medication, and was pulled over by the police and got arrested. She had a panic attack when the cops showed up, making them think that she was on drugs. She’s hospitalized right now.
She’s going to be transferred to a county jail, and put on new medication because the old ones she stopped taking were coming with harmful side effects.

#

@dense sky Here’s the update…

dense sky
#

OH JEEEZZZZ

#

big jump in events here dude astonish

frank ledge
#

Lmao the emoji you used

frank ledge
#

The women in my life, M21

frank ledge
#

My Lady Problems, M21

frank ledge
#

July 11, Friday
Raya
Could smell my gf on my sheets

#

I miss her

#

Trinity, my ex girlfriend, now a friend
I’m so disappointed in this girl. How she treated that man she lowkey cheated on me with. She’s so manipulative.

#

Trinity said I didn’t deserve her before that break between us. Because I didn’t text her enough. She said it’s always her reaching out to me.

#

I had apologized. I told her I didn’t wanna have to text her everyday in order for her to know I still liked her. She asked for at least a 5 minute conversation with me daily and that was even hard to maintain.

#

I thought that was a stretch. Like she has no object permanence I think is what it’s called. If I’m not there all the time, she hates it.

#

I hate how Trinity wanted me to not flirt with anyone while we were still friends. She has an extremely possessive personality and it’s seriously mental. If Raya and I break up, I might try to work through those problems with her because I wouldn’t accept that.

#

The guy she “cheated” on me with literally said to me, “Yeah she went back to you because you’re hotter but I actually loved her. You don’t.” Hard to hear.

#

Plus it was sickening to watch that guy, watch my facial expressions as he told me how she ||drank his piss.|| NSFW warning. It made me angry, and weirded out. I didn’t need to know that. Like it gave him some sort of satisfaction to look at me disgusted.

#

This chick literally told me if I lose ten pounds I’d grow taller and she thinks that’s true. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, up there.

#

She’s kinda funny though. Like have you ever met someone, so dumb, that it’s hilarious. She’s stupid, I’m sorry. I like her stupidness though. And how she tries to manipulate me and fails. Girl has the same intelligence as a dodo bird.

#

I miss her dumbass. I should see her sometime to show I still care.

#

She has this brain-numbing, stupidity to her. I lose IQ each hour that passes with that woman. The only thing she eats is salad, that’s the only food she knows how to make.

#

Rayas so much more charming and up to speed with my brain.

#

I remember showing up to Trina’s place for hint, hint, a “good time” and she smelt awful. Like? It was hard even being close to her. Can you get a cue. I don’t mean to shame her, she has a shower and soap and she should use that shit more often.

#

SHE WAS RAISINGGG HER ARMS UP IN THE AIR like imma need you to stay still while we hangout today and keep yo arms down.

#

It agitates me how I remember, she sent me this photo of men’s boxers in her room and said. “Is this yours?” And I told her, “No. Who’s are those?” And she said, “Maybe my brothers.” And I’m 99% sure those were the boxers of the guy she cheated on me with. And she didn’t admit to that.

#

Like what the f*** do you mean are those lousy ass stank skid marked boxers mine? What’re those from K-Mart? They belonged to the fatass that ate sushi between her toes.

#

God that makes me so f* mad.

#

Trinity had made me a rose out of wires and clay, and it fell behind my furniture in my room. It’s literally lost somewhere in the abyss of darkness now. I hope I never find it again. I should grab it and beat it with an axe or something. Literally put it in a blender and send it off to her.

#

She made me rings that make green rub off on your fingers three days after wearing them. Like wow, amazing.

#

My favorite thing about Trinity might be how dumb she is.

#

Like how can you lose both options after they found out about each other? I feel so bad for her.

#

The guy was like, “She’s so dumb, I hate her but I love her. Since she wants you instead, and now you don’t even want her.” Like yeah dude I don’t want her because of all that nasty s*** you said you both did behind my back.

#

Go and have her.

#

The guy she cheated on me with has the worst bleach job, balding from the front, has Down syndrome, is Chinese, and dresses like a bohemian hippie. He wears neon colors and mixed patterns unironically. That’s f***g hilarious.

#

I’m not shaming anyone by the way, this is just a mixture of somebody’s qualities.

#

I just couldn’t punch that guy in the face, he couldn’t get any uglier.

#

She has long blonde golden hair, light ocean blue eyes, 5’10ish, Norwegian and Irish, a waist thinner than my wrist to my pointer finger, Victoria secret model bod, the biggest rack ever. Too bad some of that cup size couldn’t go to her brain instead. Dresses rocker chic, I suppose. Wears the same TSHIRT every damn day. The guy is shorter than her.

frank ledge
#

I almost threw up all over him from how gross it was.

#

I wish I had did.

#

All that hotness but lots of stupid decisions.

#

Her and I won’t stop arguing nowadays as friends still. Every conversation is tense in a bad way.

#

She took the guys virginity.

#

He flexed the hell out of that to me. I bet he was thinking, “Ha, SHES F*NG ME, NOT YOU.” Like buddy.

#

Not even that’s a flex anymore.

#

That guy has a face that could stop a clock.

#

Apparently Trina brought him as a plus one to a party and accidentally dropped a plate and it shattered, causing the host to get super mad at her and she was crying the whole night.

#

I bet she’s telling all her friends, “HE DONT DESERVE THIS!!!” Like you’re right I don’t deserve such torment.

#

I don’t deserve it.

#

Could he keep her? They seemed happy together.

#

I’d be happy for the guy if he was with her.

#

She accidentally breaks things and will give you the dumbest look ever.

#

Like yeah, I don’t deserve you because I didn’t text you in three days. Gimmie a break.

#

LIKE BOTH GUYS DONT EVEN WANT YOU WDYM???

#

WAKE TF UP

#

LOL I ENTERED HER LIFE AND SHOWED THE TINIEST BIT OF INTEREST IN HER AND SHE SHOWS UP TO THE GUYS HOUSE, DROPS HIS CLOTHES OFF, AND LEAVES.

#

I CANT WITH THAT WOMAN LMFAOOO

#

I could shed a tear of joy from how funny she unintentionally is. I mean, wow.

#

That poor guy. He didn’t deserve that treatment at all, she literally abandoned him out of nowhere and then whines about possibly having BPD.

#

She spends all her money on this video game and bought me stuff on it when I barely play it. She plays it like every damn day, and when we were playing it together I WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN HER AT IT LOL. LIKE SHE PLAYS THAT GAME ALL DAY BUT SHES LOWKEY CRAP AT IT.

#

She’s like, “You’re so good at this game! You have so many wins!” Like thanks, I’ve played it maybe seven times and I’m constantly saving your ass. You play this like, what? Everyday? And are shit at it?

#

Yeah.

#

One time she snap chatted me the image of a stop sign that she pryed off a road and brought home after a night out while she was wearing a storm trooper helmet.

#

Insert flirtatious whistle. So shmexy.

#

Not.

#

Looks like her supermodel looks isn’t the only reason a car crash will be happening.

#

She’s been calling me, “Professor” in messages recently after I told her to start texting me in full sentences with proper grammar. I don’t know how to feel.

#

I’m thinking, I’ve gotta save her somehow. I’ve gotta raise her intelligences in some way.

#

I hate to talk about her so badly. It’s so mean of me, I know. Our friendship tends to get disrespectful and toxic, admittedly. Whenever we disagree on stuff, she throws the word, “idiot” out at me.

#

Raya doesn’t say much about Trinity. She said, “F* her.” That’s literally it. All she’s said on the matter.

#

I can afford to be called an idiot by her. It flys over my head. Like yeah, to be friends with you I must be to some capacity.

#

It’s like it hits a wall.

#

I remember she made sushi for us to eat, twice, and I cancelled both times. She uses each cancellation against somebody, I swear, she keeps track of every single one.

#

I’m sorry but I’m not eating no f***ng sushi after hearing about where it’s been with you and your secret boyfriend.

#

I fear for Trinitys safety if she tries to flirt with me in the company of Raya. That would really not be good.

#

Trina’s a pure airhead. She might slip up and accidentally say something shmexual in front of Raya. She has little to no social awareness or social boundaries.

#

I remember she got mad at me for not greeting her when I saw her sitting by herself in our campus cafeteria once. I just walked out after chatting with a few other friends and she showed such passive aggressiveness to me. Just weirdly clingy and needy to a toxic extent.

#

About,
Raya
There’s this guy, who she kept asking to hug. He’s 16-17 years old. He sleeps around on our campus a bit, and yeah, he goes to our college. There’s some teenagers in my school. It ain’t highschool. He accused Raya of being a pedophile and complained to the school about her. I don’t know how to feel about that. I give some sympathy to him. I shouldn’t be feeling jealousy towards that kid, it’s very weird… these dynamics of Raya and younger boys at our school. Hell, I’m one of them except I’m legal. Barely.

#

There’s some deep seated anger that the mature part of my brain might be having from Raya and how I do think she has some predatory tendencies. Just considering that possibility. Makes me f***g huff and puff to think about.

#

Like why does that woman have to be so goddamn charming for? She’s skilled in that.

#

That paragraph I just wrote up is disgusting. Jesus Christ. Let me ignore that.

#

I am blinded by charm. And I am blind to the paragraphs I just typed.

#

God, get those paragraphs away from me right now. Cant stand my own feelings about that. Get the hell back.

#

The self perception, like am I an adult? Am I still a kid? What if I’m both at the same goddamn time? Can someone be that. A young adult.

#

I literally see 60 in her face. Like what.

#

My aunt was like, “That woman looks a lot older than you. Is she 30?” I told Raya that and she said, “Thank you… thank you… yes…” She blushes and pats her cheeks a bit.

#

||This lady is also obsessed with sucking my D. She loves the taste of me. I forgot how many times she’s gone down on me by now. I literally don’t even remember. It’s like a habit of hers to do. She says she’s more interested in pleasing me and that she wants me on the receiving end. I’m like, okay?|| Heavy NSFW Warning for TMI, mention of oral sex

#

NSFW/oral ||Sometimes I don’t even feel anything from it but I’m watching her putting in work down there, like damn. Somebody doesn’t eat much. Clearly. It goes on for so long that I have to stop her because I’ve had enough. Like she ASKS to give me oral, constantly.||

#

The crazy girls in my life, M21

#

NSFW/oral ||I’M LIKE JUST STANDING THERE GETTING BORED. THE TONGUE GAME IS CRAZY THOUGH. SHE KNOWS ALL THE SPOTS. ITS ALMOST ENTERTAINING TO WATCH.SHE IS A CIRCUS FREAK WITH HER TONGUE.||

#

Enough of that, but yeah. 3 beers later.

#

When Raya and Trinity both show up for a semester at our college I better see some tracks being pulled out and hair on the ground.

#

I just know Raya is mature enough to stay away from Trina and ignore her completely. Give a whole cold shoulder and not even acknowledge her presence. That’s what I noticed about her age too, she can just completely ignore another lady like that.

#

Younger girls would usually size each other up and start drama with each other. Gossip a little, be aggressive but I think only Trinity will show that to Raya. Raya will probably say something to scare her off completely in a few words, like the cold B!*CH she is.

#

If you’re all wondering if Raya consents to people knowing that NSFW information. She would. A hundred and ten percent.

#

I also recently told Trina that I have a girlfriend now.

#

I could feel the heartbreak from here.

#

I broke that news to her the same conversation that I told her I didn’t wanna hangout with her and her friend.

#

It’s interesting how Raya typed out, “It’s aryan.” When I told her to put her number in my phone the first time we met. That was definitely intentional. It was a jab at Trinity for sure. Raya knew who Trina was before she added my number and she wanted to let me know that she knows about this blonde in my life.

#

“Oh sorry Jake! I misspelt my name!” Yea sure you did.

#

Because Trina has features that align with that, the blonde hair and blue eyes.

#

Cant wait to go get some weed today. I gotta get my girlfriend off my mind. It’s hard to think straight right now, honestly.

#

||My gf had pulled out a chair in the middle of her empty apartment room and pushed me onto it, and I might’ve forgot how to speak English at that point. Like the spaciousness around the chair. Woo.|| NSFW warning

#

I got chills down my spine.

#

Clicking that spoiler is consent to reading that shit. Just saying.

#

My mind is just short circuiting typing that out. I cant even think about that.

#

Whole body’s flushed thinking bout it.

#

Beforehand, we had gone to see fireworks… anddd were dancing together. In that small, quiet, apartment. Without any music, in silence.

#

It was late at night, the nicest sunset outside. Lights were off.

#

After all the fun, she was smoking a cigarette and I was smoking a joint on her balcony.

#

While looking at the moon, and stars.

#

That night was so fun, it sickens me.

frank ledge
#

Raya wants a tongue piercing.

frank ledge
#

From 3:30 AM to 8:20 AM…

#

I cant believe Raya got in a car crash. I mean, that’s believable because she’s a fucking horrible driver.

simple hazel
#

It sounds like your gonna have a mental break down ngl

#

if you haven't alr that it

#

also why remanence over trinity so much if you clearly dont want anything to do with her?

frank ledge
#

I smoked

#

About an hour ago

#

I noticed in my phones camera, my pupils look more dilated than normal

frank ledge
#

Pulled an all nighter thinking about Raya last night lol

#

Just cant sleep, how insomnia is.

frank ledge
#

Saturday, July 12th 2025
Jasmine
Soo, we know how this girl was obsessing over me for a little while when Trinity was my girlfriend. She self harmed because I was with Trina, and even went to a mental institution to try and stabilize herself.
Ever since I broke up with Trinity, she’s seemed a lot happier. However, I got a new girlfriend recently, Raya.
Jasmines only appeared to be SLIGHTLY turned off when Raya goes to kiss me in front of her. All three of us are good friends. I think that Jasmine was very jealous of Trinity in particular, because she’s not hurting herself over Raya being my girlfriend so it seemed to be that 1 girl she really didn’t wanna see me with.

#

Raya likes Jasmine as a friend a lot too. Jasmine even visited Raya at the mental hospital after her car crash and brought her food. We’re pretty tight knit. However, Jasmine sometimes complains about feeling like she’s third wheeling. I don’t really think she minds though…

#

”Omara” In her late 30s or early 40s.
Raya’s friend.
This broad likes me apparently. I’ve seen her maybe 3-4 times? She met Jasmine and I when going to hangout with Raya. Of course I bring Jasmine along with me for the first few hangouts for safety purposes and to also have a woman’s opinion with me on the girl I may be dating.
Anyways, Omaras maybe 5’6, dirty blonde hair, a smaller frame than Raya, likes wearing bikinis as clothing in the summer paired with shorts. She’s good at dancing just like Raya is. I’m not into her because.. I have no f***g idea who she is. Maybe we’ll find out more about her as time goes on.

#

Raya has also shown the most jealousy towards Omara. She says Omara is trying to flirt with me all the time and I don’t notice. Raya gets pretty mad behind the scenes. When we were all hanging out with each other, Omara was throwing axes, there was a few laying around, and Raya had told me to go take a seat somewhere a bit further than the rest of the chairs there.
A day passes since that hangout…
I have Raya on the phone the next day, she’s saying, “Did you see Omara? Throwing axes with you and Jasmine near by?! I got so worried, that it would bounce off the ground and hit one of you. If it would’ve hit you, I’d be covered in Omaras blood by the end of it.”

#

Yep.

#

Vicious gal.

#

I thought Omara was just comfortable around me. Raya warned about her getting too close to me, physically, I think. Raya had told her, “You look at him and you see fun. That’s not all he is to me.”

#

Mention of heavy drug use ||I caught Omara staring at me a lot when she was, smoking drugs.||

#

It’s so crazy how Raya told me she’ll be covered in Omaras blood after that hangout, hahaha, holy crap. It’s like you imagine her voice drop a bass and distort a little as she says it.

#

I guess I’m not making it easy for the girls. Jasmine told me, “You don’t dress like that for me! You transform into the hottest guy ever when you like someone!” Yeah. When I’d go to Jasmines house to smoke, I’d throw on the type of outfit you put on when going to the grocery store. I’d show up looking like I got dressed with the lights off. But since I broke up with Trinity and this older woman showed interest in me, showering, shaving, and fruit smoothies everyday, hairs getting blow dried, the playboy boxers are on, the see-through shirts are making an appearance.

#

Hell, when I show up to Jasmines house by myself I have lettuce sticking out my two front teeth, havent showered in 3 days, bed head, no cologne put on, deodorant stains on the shirt.

#

The town Rayas been driving Jasmine and me out to happens to be the same place my mom and dad had my sisters and I. I told my aunt the location and she told me, “That’s where you were born, and where your dad died.” And I felt like crying right then and there. Raya also smokes cigarettes so much that it’s embedded in her body odour by now, and it makes me feel at home. Because I used to smoke so much marihuana, I know how it feels to constantly reek of it. She feels like home, in that sense.

frank ledge
#

Context warning dancing. Raya likes to go to that town for the dance and party scene. She’s really good at it. ||Woman was throwing it back on me so hard on me that I was stumbling back.||

#

||I’ll need a wall or structure behind me to keep me up on both feet.|| NSFW

#

Jealous much?
And this “Jillian” girl from school apparently going for me too. I told Raya that Jill contacted me on social media and I practically saw murder in Rayas eyes at the moment, pure bloodlust, I was like oh shit somebody should lock their doors tonight. Kidding, but hahaha. Like “Huh, what?”

#

Raya is still in jail right now, as we speak.

frank ledge
#

Her drug habits are concerning. Her cheekbones are so sharp they could cut a b!#ch. After that day she was fainting abruptly and almost threw up after dancing. At the place she was clearly off something, a bit further away from the group of dancers barely following the flow of the music.

#

I was pretty fu****g stiff, in every way, watching her. Couldn’t move much. An entire department of cops showed up, like dozens of officers. Meaning we had to leave the area.

#

But yeah our relationships pretty transactional. Never been with a lady this old. I mean, when I go to sit or lay she automatically offers to undo my laces and take my shoes off for me. At first I was like… ??? A younger girl has never done that to me before.

#

||I remember we were walking down the street and a guy walked past us with a harness on and Raya turned to me and said, “That guy lost a dare or something?” That was so f*cking funny I was laughing for 10 minutes straight.|| Slightly NSFW..? Inappropriate for work still

#

She had said out loud, “Lost a dare?” Verbatim. Jasmine called her mean. I was dying laughing.

#

I mean that day I almost got a marijuana charge. Nearly tossed an MJ cig at a cops feet while speeding by. License plates, hello? Raya anticipated them around the corner, saw the lights, charming lady criminal.

#

I love how old-fashioned she is, very quaint. From an entirely different age or generation. Other than dressing like a young girl with the shortest skirts ever, plaid, crop tops, this and that.

#

Dressing like that as a woman in your 40s, something must be wrong with ya.

#

How does that one song go again? “I think I should know how, to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out, now. L-O-V-E’s just another word I never learned to pronounce, how”

#

Haha. Womanizer by Britney Spears playing. Whaaat? Anyways.

#

Only thing I’ve been accused of, yet, so far.

frank ledge
#

Activity Announcement
There’s been 26 people who have been in this forum post of mine before

#

Probably more who have seen it

#

I would try to age-proof the whole thing and make it safe for everyone to read but I’m still in the process of doing that because of how big the journal is page-wise.

#

It feels like I’m editing a book.

#

That’s how much I write/wrote.

#

I had pinged staff over here in the past and got a boy kicked out of my post. Snowy I think was his display name? I like how I taught him how to vent/answer to vents in a respectful manner.
I can compare it to administering yourself the @ Listener role and being pinged, someone is asking for advice or assistance.

frank ledge
#

Like there’s a level of trust and permission put into both:
Venting with others around, and then responding/listening to those that are doing the venting.

#

If that permission is broken, you’re just hurting the other person.
That’s shown in a lot more subtle terms and phrases. For example, “I do not want your help right now.”

simple hazel
frank ledge
#

Thanks for that, validation, Liv, and what’s that say?
(unstable version 2.0)

#

I wonder, what was the (version 1.0) like?

#

Anyways, sorry. No pressure to answer that.

#

I know I’ve been putting out the word, “crazy” recently lightheartedly. With no intention to disrespect anybody.

#

— and “bitch.”

#

Oh boy, those two words do not look good together.

#

Jasmine self-proclaims herself as a, “crazy bitch.” She’s said before.

#

I do not call women the second one, usually ever. For joking context, that I know both/all three those girls would find funny.

simple hazel
frank ledge
#

As you can see, I’m very self aware and conscious about the words I use, or vocabulary.

simple hazel
simple hazel
simple hazel
frank ledge
frank ledge
simple hazel
# frank ledge Is that sarcasm?

Not at all, Its a true statement, its very respectful of you to not call other women such a name regardless of the fact that you know three woman in your life would find it funny, its good to maintain that mentality that just because you know some people are okay with it not every one is.

simple hazel
frank ledge
#

I appreciate a person who’s a girl or woman telling me their opinion on that

#

You came in at the right time haha

frank ledge
#

But do feel free, to talk about what’s casual too, frequent things, I’m lenient.

#

It’s justtt if I say to not continue at the time you do give your opinion.

#

I trust ya

simple hazel
#

Thank you for the compliment, Also its no problem at all, Im always open to giving people opinions as long as their okay with it, as for giving opinions on anything that seems odd as long as your okay with that then I'll be sure to comment on anything that sounds a bit unordinary until you say so otherwise that you no longer want advice

frank ledge
#

Y’know I don’t see you as just someone who’s willing to give advice and a “therapist” but a person I’ll engage by and don’t mind having conversations with. Nothing strict here.

#

Can I ask you how old you are, Liv? Your role says, 14-15. @simple hazel

simple hazel
simple hazel
frank ledge
frank ledge
simple hazel
# frank ledge Okay, because I’m 21, it mentions my age in the title of this forum.

Yes I saw, Your age doesn't bother me in the slightest just for you to know, A person is a person and as a listener/therapist we volunteer to be its our job to listen regardless of the age unless that person respectfully ask for a person of a certain age, if my age isn't a problem then id ask to continue listening in the forum, however if it is a problem I will happily respect your request and exit it.

simple hazel
frank ledge
#

So, welcome to my forum

simple hazel
frank ledge
#

Yea, I agree I’ve been coming off as more formal. My anger issues are also lessening.

#

July 12, Saturday 6:00 PM EST.
My sisters boyfriend came over after I went out to smoke MJ. She hates the smell of the plant, so IDK why she invited her bf over. He’s eating food that I made.
I cook for myself, everyday. I’m a pretty good chef if I do say so myself.
Since my sisters bf is eating food I cooked.

#

Like oh, hey, that’s my uhh… dinner too.

#

The strain of the MJ I smoked is, “Cherry Dosi.” If anyone’s wondering. Any, “Potheads.”

#

I bet my sisters pointing out the smell a bit, “You smell that? That’s my brothers habit.” As she’s giving him a grossed-out look.

#

Yea, you see that happy ass grin over my face too? And eyes low as they can be? Check that.

#

Plus, smells extra good to me. Maybe not the people having it.

#

I should walk by the food he’s having, and sneeze onto the rest of it. To make sure he doesn’t eat all of it. Hahaha. I’m gross, I know.
Lol. I waddle out of my room with my pants sagging below my ass, I shoulda told him, YEA, I MADE THAT FOOD. ME. THE POTHEAD. THE ADDICT. THE SMOKER. MOI.

#

Might have to shower the smell off before my aunt comes, but do I really wanna waste the high on a shower? Err, or making a nice shot of coffee with cream in it.

#

Two stimulants, back-to-back. No big deal.

#

Might just spray some cologne on to mask the smell and go on with my day.

#

F**, they’re like, “Did you just put that on?” Haha.

frank ledge
#

That weed is hitting, made myself some food and I’m eating it fast as hell. Started choking. Ha, what is it that they say? “Went down the wrong hole?”

frank ledge
#

My sister and her bf are leaving to go get ice cream and he said, “How much scoops you want?” And I answered for her, and said “3 scoops, minimum” and everyone laughed

frank ledge
#

Raya, 8:00 PM EST
My girlfriend Raya was bailed out of jail today. July 12th.
Raya invited me over to her place tomorrow on Sunday to eat dinner. I told her I have, “food sensitivities” instead of saying how much of a picky eater I am. Jasmine was invited too, and accepted already.

#

I won’t eat anything too sweet unless it’s fruit, nothing with added sugars, I don’t eat pork, once upon a time refused to eat bread or dairy because I was restrictive. I still don’t eat pasta made from wheat.

#

I’ve already turned down a meal at her dinner table before because I didn’t like how it looked.

#

I didn’t tell her parents that of course… who were sitting right in front of me… I just told them that I wasn’t hungry.

#

She told me what they’re having tomorrow for dinner and I’m honestly… not the most excited. I don’t like her family’s cooking. How rude of me, yeah.

#

One time, we were out for the whole day. Us 3. Raya said she’d bring food and she brought three wraps that had pork in it and some other bullcrap. I couldn’t eat it. Had the whole, “Why not? You think it’s a dirty animal?” talk. She had brought me some cherries though, which I had instead.

#

Like wow really testing my hunger there, hahaha.

#

It’s like a part of my OCD traits of what I can and can’t eat.

frank ledge
#

Ended up making myself some coffee, and it’s darn good.

#

Oh yeah, I was about to say.

#

Raya got bailed out of jail, today.

#

That was um, fast.

#

Surprised she didn’t get her license revoked.

#

Jasmine and I are about to call on the phone. Might tell her that I can’t make it to dinner on Sunday at Raya’s parents house.

#

Raya even told me, “My mom extended the day out to invite you over for dinner tomorrow.”

#

…Extended?
Really?

#

Now I feel extra worse, because her mom “EXTENDED” the day out to invite Jasmine and me over.

#

Like hell, haven’t shaved, haven’t showered, reek of marihuana and coffee, been skipping days of sleep, been skipping therapy too, no outfit planned for the next day, and about to cancel a dinner date with my best friend and girlfriend after she was just bailed outta jail.

#

||Wearing shorts with the marijuana icon right where the c#ck is supposed to be, because that’s how obnoxious I am, like… we’re a mess right now||

#

I’m joking. I lied. I don’t own a pair of those. I wish I did though.

#

Those exist? Haha, whaat?
I gotta pocket of sunshine, for real.

frank ledge
#

Just got off the phone with Jasmine.

#

She told me to stop drinking coffee before going to sleep.

#

I also told her I wanna do psychedelics out of town with her and Raya. If she wanted to have some with me. She told me, “I have shrooms too if you want but they’re old.”
How old? Stale?
“Old but still edible.” Jasmine said. I respond with,“Yeah that’s what I say about my girlfriend too.”

#

We both laugh.

#

We talked about Trina, and how unstable Jasmine was when her and I were together. Jasmine also heard about how she “cheated” on me.

#

Jasmine was like, “You not getting back with her was revenge and karma, honestly. The fact she lost both guys she was with makes me feel bad.”

#

Serves her right, I guess. Manipulative girl, pretty face. Or should I say, evil?

#

Might tell my girlfriend, sorry, can’t make it to the family dinner. Gotta take a few days to freshen up. I’m in the mood to do some hardcore drinking, pull up at the bar, play some pool, have both girls be there. Play some nine inch nails on the speakers and get hung over the next morning.

#

||Some molly water|| and flashy aviators, playing songs on the jukebox or asking the DJ. That’s what I need soon.

#

Mention of MDMA

#

Some rap music. Hahaha. Yeah. Not in the mood to play footsie under the table. Jasmine seems to want to go alone tomorrow to Rayas place for the free food. I like how Raya was friends with Jasmine before Raya dated me.

#

Would be a little mean and tell her, that dinner sounds boring as fuck. And tell your parents there ain’t no rings getting put on these fingas anytime soon.

#

Like yea you’re off the cuffs after that bail and this isn’t getting cuffed either.

#

Not much feelings attached, to be honest. Something must be wrong with me too.

#

How can I? Nothing lasts forever.

#

If Raya heard that she would probably laugh and accept that. Might be a bit hurt in the heart for a day or so. She won’t care though, or I’d teach her not to too much. I’m not naive. I just know what I want, and how much I want of it.

#

I wonder if Rayas parents would approve of us not wanting to be together forever. Just temporarily. She knows that too. It’s a consensual dynamic, don’t worry.

#

I literally told Jasmine on call, “I need a drink, not no family dinner.” I can be such an ass sometimes. That sounds just like communication to me.

#

Jasmines pretty cute too, and she’s actually in my age bracket. I find it funny how much she hates my ex.

#

||Like yeah, I need some uh, drugs soon. I’ve been sober for too long. This coffee and weed ain’t doing enough for me.|| mention of drug use

#

The same night she got bailed out. Hahaha. Oh man. She can handle a 21 year old guy telling her that, c’mon.

#

Did I let this forum know about how toxic Jasmine had gotten when Trinity was getting with me?

#

In the past.. Jasmine took me to a bar. Got me super drunk, hammered. Told me to dial up Trina at the time, and Trina showed up at the bar. Jasmine told me to kiss her in front of her. I almost did. HEAVY NSFW warning for what I’m about to say.

#

I didn’t kiss Jasmine but… we guided Trina to the front of the bar. I was so drunk at that point, I was staggering back and forth, slurring, dropping my cigarette multiple times, tripping over the curb, HAHA, and Jasmine was like, ||”How about we have a threesome?” Excitedly, I was like, “Yeah, you want a threesome with us, Trina?” And Trinity slowly backs up and is like, “No… no thank you.”|| Trina sits on the fence right by us and just stares at us. I’m the only one standing as Jasmine sits on the curb. ||I hadn’t even slept with Jasmine yet and still wanted that. However… I think Trina was a bit curious even though she wanted only me. Jasmine said, “Could you choke us both?” And Trina said, “Yeah, can you?” They both go and stand right in front of me. That was my green light. So I had put one hand around both of their necks at once, choked both at the same time, and gave them a shove back. IN FRONT OF THE BAR. There’s people around us, even the bartenders came out to have a smoke and looked over to us. The girls had asked for it. And they both looked at each other after stumbling back and laughed.||

#

This was after I had found out that Trinity “cheated” on me with a guy. So. Our relationship went to crap anyway.
That night, I went home with Jasmine. ||We both collapse on her bed, she starts tugging at my clothes and I tell her it turns me on, she does it some more, I end up on top of her, and we lock fingers hand on hand, and our hands are like fighting for who’s stronger and I press hers into the bed,|| and suddenly her mom knocks on the door and I just fling myself back and her ma steps in. Telling me that I have to leave in the next hour or they’re leaving me outside.

#

Where it all begun… the start of this forum post.

#

Yeahhh.. right here. I had broken up with Trina.

frank ledge
#

MONDAY… HUMILIATION, TUESDAY… SUFFOCATION, WEDNESDAY… CONDENSATION…

frank ledge
#

I haven’t mentioned Jasmines physical appearance but she’s the shortest out of the girls I’ve mentioned. Maybe around 5’2? 5’4? She’s Asian. Has brown hair with blonde highlights, curvy, some meat on the gal, on the chubbier side, nothing a guy wouldn’t love. I’d have to put my hands on my knees and lean over to be eye level. Her wingspan, or hands end at my hip level. Like if she were to stretch her arms forwards, her hands would hit my abdomen. So there’s a pretty big height difference between us considering I’m a whole foot taller than her. Her heads just below where my chest is. When we hug, she’s a bit underneath my arm.

#

Other than Trina who’s like 5’8… 5’9, and Raya who’s a bit taller, 6’0.

#

Raya seems about… 3-4 inches taller than Trina.

#

Both those girls are tall as or taller than most guys, and honestly I usually never see anyone my height or taller.

#

I have to fucking bend my knees and tilt my head to the floor to use ATMs and regular everyday mechanics.

#

I remember that one guy at school that I socked in the throat and he looked shell shocked and had to sit down. Like buddy, my reach is that of a stop sign. Best you take a seat, LOL.

#

But yeah, the size difference of Jasmine and me is pretty inconvenient. Whenever I’m in her room, I’m all like cramped. My head is a couple inches below her ceiling fan and if I were to look up at it, or move too fast, I’d bang my head. I have to duck it.

#

The length of my hand is the length of her face. My foot is the length of her entire calf. …Like I don’t know if… this will work.

#

Jasmine has to break her neck just to look up at me. But yeah.

#

Cant believe Rayuh got bailed out, today. I need a beer.

#

I cant believe she wants kids in the future. Like she must hit menopause in 10 years or so. What time does she have left, actually? I’m giving this relationship 3-5 years max.

floral thorn
#

Is this romance manhwa still going on

frank ledge
#

Sunday, July 13th
I turned down dinner at my girlfriend, Raya’s house with my good friend Jasmine. I told them I was feeling under the weather.
I’m going to have to tell Raya about the manic psychosis I experience sometimes.

frank ledge
#

That girl, Jasmine knows more about this than my girlfriend. Raya doesn’t know about any of this. But Jasmines heard it before.

normal edge
frank ledge
#

Monday, July 14th
I went to my martial arts gym.

#

At the end of it, the “Secretary” or one of the employees. Her name is Sarah. She said, “Jake, you’re so chatty. Did you go through something recently?”
I said,
“I made some new friends. Got a partner or two.”
She said, “What’s their name?”
I said, “Raya, she wants to see me spar and I told her to wait because I have to wait to get good at it again.”
Sarah said, “How old is she?”
I hesitated. Sarah inquired more, “Like my age?” I didn’t respond
Sarah went, “28? 29? 31? 32?” I kept shaking my head. She laughed. I said, “See you later Sarah.”
After that interaction, some anxiety nestled in my stomach. My face contorted into something of worry, for myself when I walked out the door and tried to mask or conceal.

#

Some disgust in the pit of my chest, too. Suddenly a part of my love life is exposed to people, and it’s shameful.

#

Maybe I should keep my love life a secret from certain people. Oh, but I…
Love to be unhinged. So much.

#

How the world views the relationship between Raya and I, burden me emotionally.

floral thorn
#

@frank ledge is this all real man?

frank ledge
floral thorn
#

Alright man i believe you

#

If it isn't too much can you write a small summary and pin it here

frank ledge
floral thorn
#

Nah just the problem

#

And stuff ykyk

#

Dont have to be long

frank ledge
floral thorn
#

Like
I am with this girl and she gave me this and that problem smth

#

And then pin it probably makes it easy

frank ledge
#

Alright.
TLDR of my situation.

#

Raya is my girlfriend I’m with, the problem I have with her is mostly our age difference, unsafe driving, and drug habits. Our ages brings me shame — she’s 44 and I’m 21, 22 soon.

#

Trinity is my ex girlfriend, 25 yrs old, she cheated on me during a “break” and was overly possessive + manipulative. Her alcoholism and careless nature worried me constantly.

#

Jasmine is my close friend, 23 yrs old. My main problem with her, is her general instability and jealousy. For example, she self harmed the crap out of herself because I dated Trinity.

floral thorn
#

Damn that's insane dawg

frank ledge
#

That’s about it.

floral thorn
#

Get away from em dawg ngl

frank ledge
#

Trinity does want me back in her life, but neither of us are reaching out. She bettered her life because of me.

floral thorn
#

I won't lie man insane tbh goodjob holding up well

frank ledge
#

Thank you

floral thorn
#

Try to find something to get away staying with em will make stuff worse for ta

#

Ya*

frank ledge
#

I cant pin messages, by the way. I would if I could.

#

I should stay away from a lot of things but I don’t

#

Trinity had asked me what my favorite flowers were recently. Was I supposed to be expecting a gift? Not sure.

#

Just to not get me them.

#

Trinas like speaking to, half wall, half person. That’s what speaking to dumb people feel like

#

She might be the dumbest person I’ve met of all time

#

I miss her

#

I will now go on a rant about my ex girlfriend

#

When we were still into each other, she said she hopes for us to be together forever and that I’m the guy she wants to marry

#

I feel so mean right now I’m sorry but I told her she’s naive and that won’t be happening lmfao

#

Through a phone call too which is even worse

#

I think she’ll need a very smart man so her kids will come out okay

#

She told me she wanted 4 kids with me I’m not kidding

#

She even said “If we have them early too that’s okay like in a few years”

#

She was dead serious like she wanted that badly

#

It’s so funny how there’s 4 hearts on this forum and Trina wanted 4 or 5 kids with me

#

She was like, “We weren’t together, I cut you off completely, I needed somebody to forget or replace you” which is kinda fair but she didn’t communicate well enough

#

It was more of a breakup, than a break. Idk, it’s complicated for no reason.

#

I remember I asked Trinity for a date and she said “We can watch a movie in my room” and my first automatic response was “Can I bring my pack of cigs and some weed or do you care about the smell?”

#

Like sorry but that’ll be a necessity when I get there

floral thorn
#

Alr man

frank ledge
#

That date never happened too

#

She would be playing videogames on her Xbox and I’d be staring at her the entire time, bored

floral thorn
#

Ngl man you gotta cut some people off 🙏

frank ledge
#

They deserve love too

#

Honestly I want Trinity back in my life but talking to her is like nails on a chalkboard

floral thorn
#

Man just shut up what lies in past is in past

#

You gotta move on dawf

frank ledge
#

But she’s still my friend

floral thorn
#

What breaks you can't heal you

frank ledge
#

She communicates mainly through Snapchat and I hate that app. It is so laggy. I hate the bitmojis too. And opening it up to see myself from the most unattractive angle ever.

#

Like why is it forcing me to look in the camera what fbi is tracking this activity

#

None of these women have broken me except for one I don’t talk about

#

There’s a reason why I don’t bring her up.. her name starts with a C. I’ve moved on.

#

I’m also so curious about trinity because of how mentally screwed she is

#

Like what is this insane level of possessiveness this lady possesses I’ve got to fix it or come down to the bottom of this issue

#

The need and desire to play her therapist is overwhelming

#

But I just couldn’t be her boyfriend because Jasmine would hurt herself

floral thorn
#

Bro I am lowkey not gonna lie y'all need to confront em and stuff 🙏🙏🙏

frank ledge
#

And say what to each one? Lmao

#

You’re all crazy in your own way and I love and hate it?

floral thorn
#

😭🙏y'all are red flag and here is my white flag

frank ledge
#

Does that imply I’d be leaving them because I’m not doing that brother

#

I need all of these women to come together from this forum post and just kill me

#

Not gonna lie I feel so much safer around Trina than I do with Raya

#

If Raya even mentions a wedding ring I’m out

#

I remember Jasmine sent her self harm she just did on herself to Trinity

#

And jasmines family deleted all of her phones contacts and Jasmine then asked for me to get Trina’s number back and I told her no

#

Jasmine called me a good friend for not giving her Trina’s number

#

I need to go see Trinity at her house to have a serious conversation about this breakup between us that happened and her problems

#

Like we need a table and chairs to sit at I cannot be on her bed or just lounging on a couch that’s how serious it has to be I need to be face to face

#

I remember she would drink entire bottles of alcohol by herself in a few hours casually

#

Idk like maybe I should cook her something at her house and be real nice and sweet like friends do

#

Just not enough to where she’s falling for me again

#

That may bother my girlfriend so idk if I could actually

#

Trinity had her sister text me “Trina still wants to be friends with u but ur gonna have to wear a turtleneck and thick jeans when u come over” and that was the first and only text she’s ever sent me

#

Like did I just get sIut shamed

#

I’m going to end up looking like Dwayne the rock johnson if I follow that dresscode

#

We all know what picture I’m talking about now cmon

#

Like do I need to wear gloves and perhaps a mask too like how much coverage do we need here

#

God I love that woman so much

#

I can fix her

#

She used to make me laugh so much

#

She questions having BPD and she might actually have it in my opinion and observations

#

I remember she was playing a videogame on her Xbox and I was kissing her I guess everywhere except the lips and she lost all her years worth of progress on the videogame and had to start from square 1 again

#

That was actually hilarious and I even apologized about it because I felt bad

#

I literally looked up for a second at the screen and the games showing “YOU LOST EVERYTHING! YOU ARE DEAD!” Like I cant

#

It’s even funnier how Raya has triggered a manic episode for me because of how late she has been going out with me at night

#

Like whoops did I mention I have schizophrenia

#

I’m just gonna have to slip in some NSFW subjects real quick sorry ||Trina’s kinks are like popularly gross, no I don’t mean to shame anyone. But her and I have left some permanent scars on each other to say the least other than how she’s into some fetishes I’ve mentioned before on the forum pist that I’d rather not refeapt||

frank ledge
#

Tssss some seasoning and sauce

#

nsfw warning ||trina also gave me and the guy she cheated on me with a custom made chain leash and they were identical. he even showed me it||

#

||like uhh how many of those has she given out already||

#

But yeah wild girl

#

She seriously needs some good people in her life and I would like to speak to her actual therapist

#

I love all the women in this forum post to some degree but they clearly have some problems that rub off on me

#

Jasmine was also a main reason why I broke up with Trina because she was hurting herself badly

#

One of jasmines most said phrases is, “I know I’m a crazy bitch.. but…” shoots you the most innocent nice girl look ever while saying that

#

She says it in this tone of baby voice thts like oh what can I possibly do wrong, yk.

#

Did I mention Jasmine went to jail for 6 months for making a bomb to light someone on fire and she got arrested a second time for prostitution

#

Yea she’s the bomb, but anyways

floral thorn
#

Insane dawg

frank ledge
#

Tuesday to Wednesday, July 15th to July 16th 2025
1:30 AM
Some ciggies and a great time with a girl later.
Raya and I did it, and a guy’s sore to say the least.
I regret telling the entrance employee of my dojo that I “non-naively don’t love my gf” that was toxic of me to say. I do love her.

frank ledge
#

Wednesday July 16th
NSFW 18+
I’m going out with my girlfriend again. ||I think I found the best therapy, it’s called sex.||

scenic sonnet
#

what the hell is this thread

frank ledge
#

Wednesday 9 PM EST
I’m at Raya’s house. We just got done shopping for clothes, together.

#

It seems I’m not allowed in her house at this time of night though, I’m waiting outside for her to be done whatever she’s doing in there.

#

Clothing shopping went nice, except for how I accidentally broke the zipper of jeans that I was thinking of buying.

#

I did more than break the zipper, accidentally, an entire metal rod came popping out of the jeans. Sorry to that store.

#

I didn’t pay for them, no. They were given back after I tried on 10 different pairs.

#

Raya bought a dress at the same store.

#

NSFW Adults only
||Me and Raya were acting pretty lewdly. We were doing some, uh sexual moves? Or acting salacious publicly. She was at the entrance of the men’s dressing room. I gave her a few slaps on the ass.||

#

The workers got suspicious of us. The employee asked for Raya’s age, someone suddenly picked up a phone and said, “There’s an old looking woman here and a young looking guy.” The employee called the police on us.

frank ledge
#

So, the police shows up. After the cops were called on my girlfriend and me.

#

We leave the store, I had bought a pair of jeans. The cheapest pair

#

The cops give my girlfriend a call on the phone, idk how they knew her number, they’re the police.

#

They’re like, “Yes, hello? This is the department of… insert location.”

#

Raya looks at me, speaks to them a bit, says she’s well over age. She hands the phone to me and says the cops wanna talk to me. They ask for my full name, told me to spell it out, asked for my birthday, and my place of residence. I give it to them. They say, “Ok, we’re ending the call.”

#

Yep, the cops were called on us two. Because of an employee that thought I was.. uh… underage maybe. Raya was telling the workers, “Yeah, that’s my boyfriend!”

#

I’m in Rayas car now. 9:58 PM EST

#

What was she doing in her house? Making me a sandwich.

#

||I’m eating before I screw her|| 18+ nsfw

#

She packed me an entire radish. That’s hilarious. Didn’t have time to cut it I suppose.

scenic sonnet
#

this is a little bit too accurately listed to be real

frank ledge
#

Shouldn’t detail mean the opposite?

#

I’m sorry but if you think this is fake, you’re an idiot

#

Rayas currently checking out some truck at a gas station parking lot. Before this, she forgot our rubbers on her kitchen counter.

scenic sonnet
#

like r u sitting on discord documenting events in real time as they happen

frank ledge
#

Yea that’s NSFW 18-19

scenic sonnet
#

@rustic rapids

frank ledge
#

Lmao

#

After forgetting the rubbers, her mom apparently took them, and hid them. So we couldn’t get it on today.

#

Other than that it was a pretty intimate day with my gf lol

#

I would point out each piece of clothing my gf had on today but I think it would be too explicit

rustic rapids
#

Do you have an eidetic memory

frank ledge
#

I think she’s quite the fashionista, from head to toe. Some of it was lingerie so im marking that as 18+ Today she was wearing ||some stylish slip ons, a tight light pink bodycon dress, everything underneath matched the pink of the mini dress she bought today, some lace here and there||

#

Far as our clothing goes, she told me she wanted to stop smoking cigarettes. Her mom called us while we were on the road and talked about how unhealthy it was and how Raya was planning to quit.

frank ledge
#

She wants to quit cigarettes because of me. Haha, whaaat? I’ve been taking drags from hers all day.

#

You’re just mad you don’t have a girl friend that you can examine… every detail of

#

Have no fear, my friend, that’s why I uhh document it

#

I mean… if you were to believe this, how would you react? Hahahaha, y’know…

#

Like is it that bad..?

scenic sonnet
frank ledge
#

Maybe I should uhh grab the other half of that sandwich she made me and spread some extra dijon on it

frank ledge
#

Back to today, Wednesday 16th.
Put away the 1/3 of the weed I rolled up for today, after finishing the other 2 with her.

#

The days kinda phase together, because I’m up late a lot of the time with Ray.

scenic sonnet
frank ledge
#

I can remember these days so well, because I write them down during the past hour that they’re happening or happened in, or a few hours past.

#

Do you people just not remember your days or…

#

What a damn day

#

Got the f*ing cops called on me

#

For looking too young and having a beautiful older woman by my side

#

I have a feeling it was partially because of the way we were dressed. For instance, when I was walking out my aunts house this morning, my aunt stopped me at the door and said, “Woah haha, does that count as a shirt?” And I hesitated to say, “It’s summer, everyone’s out in their swimsuits.” Yep.

#

I wore a wifebeater since that’s the male version of a tank top. It had horizontal holes in it. Basically pre-made “rips” I suppose. With some shorts. I had jewelry on. My girl, she’s wearing something a lot more casual and less clubby. Until she bought a pink mini dress to switch into.

#

||F**k, haha, is that a male gigolo right there?||

floral thorn
rustic rapids
floral thorn
#

@normal edge when this thread will end I will turn his story into a manhwa

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5 reaction and I will do it

#

🙏🙏🙏🙏

frank ledge
# frank ledge ||F**k, haha, is that a male gigolo right there?||

Maybe. Might need to check who he is. Somethings off about these two. A woman and a… younger guy, both 6’0 something tall, stand above everybody else in the store, lady has wrinkles and some veins that clearly show older age… and the male, pretty promiscuous outfit he’s got on… something suggestive… some acne I’m spotting. Yes, this is the cops, being called, to the store, to ask for his ID incase y’know this is a prostitution case or dating of an underage boy. Oh… you’re uh, 21 you say? Ohhkay, big boy. You’re old enough to be with a woman twice your age. Is probably what the cops are thinking, who got called on me.

dense sky
frank ledge
#

Hell, I get handed Rayas phone. The police is on the other line, I’m smoking a joint as I say hey to them.

dense sky
#

LOL

frank ledge
#

Their police car is on the other side of the parking lot. Maybe a football field away from us. A building creating a barrier of visibility.

floral thorn
dense sky
#

i understand the concern but jeez louise

frank ledge
dense sky
#

i get being worried but calling the cops on two random people u dont know 💔❓

#

i guess they just felt it was right

frank ledge
#

I gave them so much private information, like my full name, where I live… they even asked for my ID and said they were gonna come up to me. I said “I don’t have it on me. Do you not believe I’m 21?” That’s when Raya took the phone from my hand and the call was ended maybe 10 seconds after.

#

Y’know I’m not baby faced or anything but I don’t have a single wrinkle on my face that you could count.

dense sky
#

shouldnt have to do that much

#

like having to give so much info out would have just pissed me off

frank ledge
#

The woman officer was kind of stuttering over her words after I said, do you not believe me?

#

Like ohhh crap maybe I should uh be doing my job instead of over analyzing this couple that’s legal

#

Too hot for the public, I guess.

dense sky
#

LOL

frank ledge
#

Sorry, sir, you’re being arrested for looking too good. Maybe having fun with some women that’s my moms age too.

#

Apparently it was a male who called the cops on us, or told an employee to. A father of a young girl. Like really? F* right off

#

Maybe I was mistaken for a male prostitute, I dunno. That can be a possibility too.

#

An escort, lol

#

The cops told me they were watching me from inside the store while I was still shopping. Crazy.

#

I mean, how many times is a guy gonna get the cops called on him for hanging out with his girlfriend and acting MAYBE A BIT, sexual, I guess

#

We were checking out some cool cars in the same parking lot. A woman had came up to me and asked how old my girlfriend was and how old I was, in a, “Is she a… pred..?” Typa way. Yeah. The world sees us in that way.

#

Rayas also super loud in public. She doesn’t talk with an inside voice, when she speaks she is incorporating every damn person around her.

#

I mean when we walked up into that store today, everyone turned their heads and was staring. Some giving dirty looks. Hahaha!

#

It’s funny. I mean, I think she could quiet down. But who am I to tell the woman how loud she should be speaking?

#

I remember I was trying on jeans at the store and she had taken my shorts from me, and said, “Don’t want some older lady to pick these up and steal them! Do you?” And I said something like, “Yeah, you.” And it was so f*ing loud. We’re just flirting like crazy loud enough for the whole store to hear.

#

I mean, classiest couple ever right. I remember I was slightly embarrassed but that was fun.

#

My girlfriend is telling everybody in that parking lot, “My boyfriend got the cops called on him! Said he looks too, ‘young’.” Yeah, like it isn’t the ripped shirt I’m wearing that’s covering 30% of me. I bet if I was wearing something showing less of my chest and skin they wouldn’t have called the cops.

floral thorn
#

@frank ledge bro do you have long hair and what's your height how would you describe as your hairstyle and fitness

frank ledge
#

Yo. Yves.

floral thorn
#

Describe yourself I will probably
50/50 make a whole manhwa on you

frank ledge
#

I have short hair, it’s dark brown, looks black sometimes, but it has some lighter blond in it too.

#

I’m 6’4, got stretch marks on my knees

#

My hair is wavy. When my hair gets wet, it becomes curly

#

I’d say I’m pretty fit, I workout at least or more than 3 times a week. I do martial arts, weightlifting, and swimming for fun.

#

I don’t know what a manhwa is, but those are my features

#

Since my hair is wavy, you can shape it a bit. It can go up, or down.

floral thorn
#

Alright fam

#

Describe other characters

frank ledge
#

My girlfriend said I have piercing eyes. They’re dark enough to where it’s hard to separate the pupil from the color. “Black eyes.”

#

Perfect teeth. Get asked all the time if I’ve ever had braces, never did. Won that genetic blessing. A singular dimple on the right side of my cheek that shows when I smile. Two symmetrical lower back dimples too

#

V shaped centre I suppose. The v-line. I don’t think I’ve mentioned one shirt in this forum post that wasn’t transparent or open in some way.

frank ledge
#

Anyone under 5’6, I’m trampling over

#

You can spot me from miles away

floral thorn
#

Dawg I just needed basic outline

#

Too much effort I will draw you as stickman

frank ledge
#

Oh uhh.. where’d Jake go? He should show up soon, he sticks out.
I’m easy to spot.

floral thorn
#

Alright a talk stickman

#

Tall*

frank ledge
#

I got high cheekbones, slender, lean muscle…

floral thorn
#

Need to include a fighting arc some shit?

#

In my story you will domain expansion and hollow purple both of the cops

frank ledge
#

I’m a pretty good fighter. I’ve been going at martial arts for years. Fighting my whole life. Picked up my first pair of boxing gloves at 13. A blue belt in Jiujitsu. Since I’m taller than most, I have more reach which makes it hard for people to get to me.

#

I show up to multiple dojos and kick a$$. I mean, when a black belt steps up to me. I’ve tackled them to the floor before they can blink. I’ve instructed some classes before too, and been put on camera to be filmed. So that shows I know what I’m doing in that scene.

#

My boxing style is pretty explosive and aggressive. Any punch I’m throwing, my limbs are longer than the average. Since I’m leaner I can move quicker than guys who are bulkier.

#

I could box for hours. Just punching nonstop. That requires lots of athleticism and endurance

#

I do running as well, once upon a time I’d run everyday. For 30 minutes to an hour. Or go for 5-10 miles outside. I’ll play basketball if I wanna focus on cardio too.

#

I’ve brought people down to their knees and all fours in seconds who have hundreds more pounds on them than me.

#

I have a pretty unstoppable demeanour when I’m challenged like that. Like steel or metal. One time my fighting coach took me by the back of my head and slammed my face into the ground. My nose started bleeding and my first response was to look up to show the largest grin ever.

#

I was once being choked by a guy around my height, for consecutive minutes straight but he couldn’t get me to faint. It sounded like I was hyperventilating while I was thrashing around. I somehow ended up on top the guy and took him out instead.

#

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve done backflips out of different positions that people have had me in while trying to break my legs.

#

Had coaches walk up to me and tell me, “What you do is very dangerous. Those moves require so much concentration and timing.” Like yeah, I know, cool as a cucumber up in those dojos. I’m like ice. You brush against me and you slide right off.

#

The more experienced trainers nd stuff… telling me I shouldn’t be doing those crazy moves. But I wouldn’t have been able to do a backflip without that guy holding me in that way. I mean you look at cheerleading and… yeah.

#

Not comparing those two but haha you get what I’m saying.

#

That required loads of flexibility. The type the regular person doesn’t have

#

Like the blood under the fingernails, yeah. The blood on the face, on the clothes. Mine and the other person’s

#

I’ve been jumped before. By 3-4 other guys. I won’t talk about that now, but I walked off that fight with bruises all over my body

#

I have permanent scars on me, from opponents digging their fingernails into me from trying to grapple me off

#

Lots of fighting experience. Yep.

#

As for the height, mostly everyone I see is shorter than me or I am looking at them from a downwards angle

#

I’ve picked up people before and flung them, metres in the air, and if I shove them they’ll stumble a few good feet away from me, as far strength goes

#

The hairs a bit sun bleached. Some blond streaks. Well done eyebrows meaning, I take care of my facial hair. Gotta shave every day or two.

#

In some street fights I’ve been in, I’ve straight up strangled people before. Y’know they’re coming at me, messing with me, probably chatting bad bout me. Put my hands around the necks of a couple till they’ve turned red and blue

#

I’ve never fought a girl, never would fight a woman, ever. I have morals, I’ve trained with a few in dojos but have been gentle with them

#

But I’m crazy enough to rip peoples piercings off.

#

Break glasses, and stuff like that. Have snapped a pair of two in front of a guy before

#

There goes your eyesight. Oh no. Y’know?

#

Sorry, I like fighting a lot. Consensually of course

#

Haha

#

Sent some slaps and punches to peoples faces and they never retaliated back.

#

They end up looking like a brick just hit them. Or shaken up.

#

But I don’t like hurting people, no. Enough of that. I’ve been quite the workout addict in the past

#

Used to workout after every damn food I ate. Was sore all the time. Might’ve softened up since last year but I still got heat

#

I mean, one time, a guy called one of my friends the F Slur, the one targeted towards gay people. I’m not gay myself but when I heard that, I just pulled my fist back and punched him across the face in a public mall with no F’s to give.

#

That was a warning that you can’t just say anything to people.

#

People would say I’m pretty skinny. But considering my height, it’s hard to fill out completely

#

I’ve mentioned before I have knowledge of the carotid arteries and weak points on the body. Got a handful of ways to choke somebody.

#

Oh yeah and uh, in a dojo, when I was fighting a guy around my size once, I had taken his head and was just banging it against my knee over and over again. We were doing Muay Thai.
I did some charades of me, pretending to rip his beating heart out of his chest in front of the whole gym class. After he tapped out, he walked up to the restroom and threw up after fighting me.

#

Hahaha, yeah. Cant help but mention that. Lots of stories when it comes to martial arts.

#

Don’t worry, I’ve been beaten up plenty before. I’m not invincible. One my coach took my wrist and bent it so far backwards that I felt cold chills down my spine. He was seconds away from breaking my hand, and I broke out in a cold sweat it was so painful.

#

Guy was staring me in the eyes while doing it too, if he would’ve pushed it back at least 3 centimetres more, wrist would’ve been broken right there.

scenic sonnet
#

i don't remember shit that happens 2 me lol

#

my memories are like super ultra vivid chunks of memory then nothing

frank ledge
#

Wish I could be in my 20s forever.

scenic sonnet
frank ledge
scenic sonnet
#

oh maybe u not fronting

scenic sonnet
frank ledge
#

To see the cool cars.

scenic sonnet
frank ledge
#

Yeah

frank ledge
# frank ledge What a damn day

If it’s TLDR, what happened was
Went clothing shopping with my gf. Broke a few jean zippers accidentally. Got the cops called on me and my gf for looking too young and old together. Saw some cool fast cars. Gave away some physical descriptions of myself and what I do to workout

#

I do cigarettes now, since my gf has them on her whenever we hangout. We smoke weed together too. We never not smoke when out and about.

frank ledge
#

Thursday, July 17th 10:00 AM
Raya

So, I was just sleeping in like always. I’m like tired as hell.
I get a phone call.
It’s from Raya. I pick up, I’m eyes are half closed half open, I’m barely awake. My voice is all croaky and chopped, I was just dreaming of my girlfriend and me. Then she woke me up with that call to wanna go out with me again.

#

On the phone call she’s like, “Hey Jake, I have the keys to my apartment ||and I got those condoms back.|| We have all day to ourselves. You have an hour to get ready.”

#

And I mean, I’m picking up this phone call right when I woke up. It was like an alarm to me. A second after I was asleep. My shirts like half on the ground half on me, colognes still sticking from yesterday.

#

Goddamn, “You have an hour.” I breathed and 20 minutes passed this morning, cmon… how badly does she… nevermind. Hahaha

#

And yeah, I was having a dream of her.

#

Like goddamn how’re you gonna do your laundry, shower, and make breakfast all in 1 hour? Just lemme catch my m*fking breath

#

There’s a song that goes… girllll, it’s easy to love me now, would you love me if I was down, and out, would you stillll have luv for me? I likes 21 questionsss… and they all about us.

floral thorn
#

Jake when will be the fighting arc

scenic sonnet
frank ledge
#

It’s Thursday July 17th

#

I’m not feeling that comfortable to share such personal details of my love life with you all since I’ve been feeling a sudden value over privacy and secrecy but I’m still using it

#

I was at my girlfriends place

#

Girlfriends

#

I paid for her gas money, a sweet drink, bought myself a vape

#

You know I’m always so tense at times like it’s hard to let loose but right now I feel that I can

frank ledge
#

These woman’s lives and what they do in it… I don’t wanna expose anything that they wouldn’t be comfortable with. But what I’ve said in this forum post, has been talked about publicly, in person with these girls. So the only things I’m mentioning to everybody who reads this is what they’re already comfortable with me telling.

#

I can be detailed sometimes and maybe say too much. I overshare, I should stop doing that. I’ll have to get advice from people possibly even in this server of how not to do that.

#

I’ve been a bit anxious towards the end of my night tbh, but I’m just alright

#

But yeah I care a lot about these women in my life

#

To read this, some of it isn’t all appropriate for everyone. It includes parts of my sex life so that’s my warning in the sea of other texts

#

Don’t think I’ll be mentioning that tonight

#

My gfs face just keeps popping up in my memory yknow like I can’t shake the thought of her in a good way

#

I think she made me so happy tonight that I was shaking at a point

#

She said she’d give an arm for me hahaha like oh what I’d do for you

#

I’ve defended my relationship with her from the world, that’s what we deal with as a couple, I don’t know if I wanna condone such an age gap but I know enough for her

frank ledge
#

So I’ll wrap this up I suppose by saying, I’ve been high

#

I was sweating a lot tonight, and the pace of my heart was beating out my chest

#

Played some basketball with my gf today too that was fun, we’re gonna start working out together at the gym

#

It’s motivating

#

My gf gave me some, performance enhancers for screwing

#

She had to install some things in her new apartment

#

Gonna just put it out there

Spoilers are drug related

#

I did drugs tonight, ||I did cocain and meth and had a fun time||

#

||a few lines||

#

||was dancing like crazy at my gfs place lol||

#

||dw using safely||

#

||other than forgetting what I was doing a second ago we were pretty wired yeah||