silk saddle
Imagine being in my situation (17y): you meet a girl (16y) on a school trip, fall for her without even talking, and barely interact during the trip. Back home, you start texting a little, then more and more and you become friends. After two weeks, you declare your love in person. Her response: "maybe it's mutual." You're overjoyed because, because your shyness, this has never happened before. You're not dating, but you're in your first talking stage. She texts you every day, you look for each other, but at school you're frozen, barely able to speak. A week later she texts: "I should tell you something"—she’s not that into you. It's the worst day of your life. You think of asking her to try again. That night you write to her late but dont say anything about retrying—she replies saying she may have decided too fast, cried thinking you'd stop texting, asks to start over. You're happy, but you think she only said this to dont make you feel bad.
Another week passes. First few days are fine, she checks in, asks about your test, but slowly you talk less. She stops saying good morning, no messages until 3 a.m., always "too sleepy sorry." No more silly photos with her dog. Deep down, you know, you dont want to admit it but yeah you know she has lost interest. Still, you ask her out. She says yes. You're thrilled. Then three more awful days, barely a reply. Saturday comes, the date happens. It’s fun—you sing in the car, look at the sea. Then you say that you are sorry for declaring your love too early, that you are sorry for ruining your friendship, she breaks your heart saying: "Well since we are at it, im sorry but it's no." You use all the strength you have left not to burst into tears in front of her and you try to tell her how "come on it's okay it's nothing" but in the meantime you spout some bullshit that makes you seem like a weak person (well actually you are), you go home as if the world had ended but you pull yourself together and think that you actually weren't made to be together, you're still happy to have met such a good person who you love so much even though she destroyed your heart but she did it in a way to hurt you as little as possible and you manage to survive a week. Then, she posts a story—on stage, black dress, beautiful as ever, singing. You knew she used to sing but you’ve never really heard her sing. You break down. You never loved music, now you do. You think: "oh, fuck... wait...was I really talking to this goddess? no wait, did I miss this? Shit...ouch...it hurts" That night, you’re at a birthday party, she's there, needless to say the pain you feel seeing her go to a party later at the kiosk in town, you go through the worst moments of your life. The next day is your birthday. She’s there again—you’d invited her before the mess. She talks to you once. Doesn’t confide in you, though she’s right in front of you. You know she’s doing the right thing, but you’re still crushed… afraid she’s disgusted by you now.
END OF STORY.
Yes, I’m pretty depressed rn so any help is accepted thanks.
dense warren
torpid python