#I need to know if I am the crazy one

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

gray bolt
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There will be 18+ details in this, please view at your discretion.

I'm not sure if this is the right spot to put this, or where to even begin, but this is about my boyfriend and my mother.
My boyfriend and I have been together long-distance for 1.5 years, we met online on an MMO game and slowly fell in love. The first few weeks were slow and we talked exclusively via messaging, this progressed to sending (sfw) photos to each other. Around 6 months we started calling on the phone, and then video calling shortly after that. So for around the last year we have video called nearly every single day.
Bear with me, all of this information is important. We have sent each other mail, food deliveries, we've laughed together and cried together. I know all about his mother's health and his health and his past traumas and so on. In short, I am confident that he is just a simple computer nerd like me, and is who he says he is.
My mother, for some preface, is a conspiracy theorist. She believes that Hollywood is full of pedophiles that torture and eat babies, that free masons are in on it all, and we're all at risk at any moment to get enslaved and sold, etc.
I try to humor her when she goes on about it but I don't necessarily believe her either.
This is where it gets messy, a month ago. For some time I tried not to tell my Mom about him at all, just vaguely mentioning him sometimes. But he and I have decided, though we have not met face to face, we are taking the jump to move in together, him with me.
I brought this up subtly to my mom, and at first she was on board, talking about various things. But she quickly spiraled even more than I expected. If it was a normal amount of concern, I would understand that. But she has (in my opinion) gone off the deep end with her notions and I need to know if I'm crazy.
(Word limit - will submit second message)

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I am a single mother to a toddler, as was she when she met my step dad. My grandfather kept me, told her it was dangerous, and let her move half way across the US to meet him.
Now, she started on board, like that's exciting and her and dad's story, and how cool is it that if everything works out it will be just like them. But that progressed to her concern getting worse and worse that he is coming here to harm me and/or my son.
It doesn't matter if I put up cameras, oops the power "went out" and he grapes my baby and now he has trauma that I can never take back. What if he kidnaps my son and disappears the first day he's here. How dare I not think about protecting my child and moving a man in here.
What if he ties me up, beats and kidnaps me, leaving my son without a mother. Where could they even start looking.
Back when I was living with her, my Sister in Law agreed to watch my son while I had some time alone. My boyfriend and I were well into our relationship and chose to spend that time together in an nsfw manor. She caught me in a way, and this came up again this month. What does this say about him that he just picked up a girl willing to whore herself out and show her body online to any man that comes along. Yes. My mother called me a whore. More than once.
I got birth control, thinking I was being smart. She called me a whore because "the first thing I did" was go get bc and how dare I even think of sleeping with him the day he gets here.
If he doesn't have a job before he gets here, he's planning to mooch off of me for the rest of my life and enjoy a free ride.
If we split up 6 months down the road he's going to take my apartment from me and everything I own.
Have I thought about divorce rates of moving in together before marriage? Has he tested for STDs, they are rampant in the Northeast right now.
I need to sign up for gun lessons, I need to buy a tazer and self defense weapons. (word limit)

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She has taken every possible negative scenario, absolutely thrown it in my face. She has called me a whore and inadvertently a terrible mother, and is "disgusted" by my behavior.
Again, our relationship did not start with me just throwing myself at him online. If anything, I was very apprehensive, protective of myself and my personal information, and we simply fell in love over time.
I recognize there are risks, I'm not stupid. And I would not mind a normal amount of concern from her. But what gets me is that my dad, who is usually a quiet person AGREED WITH HER?! As did my Aunt!
She is basically cutting me off from any help financially whatsoever since I'm so willing to support a grown man (who is actually looking for a job for when he gets here).

We were all on no speaking terms for 4 years, I finally got them back about 3 years ago and things were good. In the last 3 years, my mother has consistently not shown up for me, not celebrated my wins, and practically stomped all over me and my choices every chance she gets.

I am at a loss. I feel like I'm losing my family again and I don't know what to do.
Please tell me if I am the one completely blinded by love and being stupid. He is coming in FIVE DAYS.

gilded trail
# gray bolt She has taken every possible negative scenario, absolutely thrown it in my face....

It's possible that your parents had heard of very dark stories about relationship made online
It's also possible that they just have one vision and go off it
You seem to be a reasonable person
You let your relationship bloom over the time
I see no problem in your decision
It's sad but family is often what you build, not what you have
Breath, make your own decisions
And don't let you stopped by your parents

maiden iris
# gray bolt She has taken every possible negative scenario, absolutely thrown it in my face....

That suck to hear, I heard you and understand what your going through Mora, must have been suck living with them, I'm amazed at how you're dealing with all of this so far and still being more calm about it than most people would have, you also show a really high emotional intelligence that impressed me. Okay. before I lost myself in this nerdy urge to come up with only 5 way to solve your problem and 50 different way to shout back at your mom and tell her she being a piece of shit of a mother, before all of that, can you tell me do you feel distant from your parent? It's doesn't matter if they are distant or not but what I'm trying to ask is that do you "feel" distant from them?

gray bolt
maiden iris
gray bolt
maiden iris
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How dare I care about you?

maiden iris
gray bolt
maiden iris