Help me

[slim valley]

Hey, I want to share what I’m going through because it’s been really complicated and hard. I’m almost 17 and have been secretly dating my boyfriend for about three months. My family doesn’t know about him and wouldn’t approve, so everything has to stay hidden. I live with my grandmother and take care of my little sister, and my phone is monitored, so I have to delete messages every day and use secret accounts to talk to him. It’s really stressful trying to keep it all under wraps.
My family is narcissistic and I hate it here I hate it here sm. He promised me he’d get me out when I graduated. He didn’t go to college so he could work to afford an apartment. But I messed up to many times
During the three months we were together, I felt the happiest I’ve ever been. He made me feel loved, supported, and safe, and he never made me feel bad or hurt me. I trusted him a lot. He was even sober for a while, which made things feel stable.

But we broke up three days ago — he said I hadn’t changed and that I broke his trust. Since then, he started drinking again, which really hurts because I know how much he struggled to stay sober before. Right now, he’s asked for three weeks of no contact to decide if we can heal and be “good enough” for each other. I’m scared these weeks might either end us or be a chance to fix things. He says he’s drinking to experience life and have fun. Yesterday was the first time in 4 months he’s done it. And the only time in our relationship. Now I have a bad background with it so it hurts. I’m worried about him. He went to a get together and got scammed. He only left bc a girl tried touching him he freaked out and left. When he got him he told me what had happened and I’m so scared he is gonna lose himself. I really care about him and want to believe we can get through this, but it’s confusing and painful. I just wanted to explain because I’m feeling really alone in all of this.

Help me please.

[latent epoch]

<@&993332385670246420>

(Anyways, I'm just 13, but here is my opinion)

I'm really sorry that your boyfriend and you had to deal through that, since no one should be put in that situation. Maybe you could suggest therapy is my first option. But above all I think you need to show him that you care. I don't think he would be comfortablr around girls after what you said happened to him in the get together, you don't have to outright become close suddenly or anything, but show him that you care, in your own ways. Or maybe you should alert anyone close to him if not you, maybe his best friend or his mother, or anyone he and you both trust. Show consistent support and just be there for him whenever he needs someone.

Please try to advise him to get professional help, and remind him that he doesn't need to carry this burden alone, that he has you. That he shouldn't give up because there will be better days, there will always be.

For your family, I'm sorry and I just know that isn't a healthy space for you and your mental health, I just want to let you know that if you really can't escape that household until you get an apartment, stay strong. You have survived this long, and better days will come, I hope you get out of that house and permanently cut contact with them.

[slim valley]

He’s to stubborn to get real help and his mother knows about us breaking up and thinks he should never talk to me again. I just hope I truly hope he dosent drink again. He’s gone through sm worse in the past and then too turned to drugs and alc. but he overcame it and got better and found me. But I screwed up and now he’s back hurting. I should have been more careful. I too struggle with sh sometimes but I promised him I would never do it again. And I stand by that. I’m okay with myself mentally. I’ve healed the hurt my family caused me. I just want him back I want him to come back okay enough so I can help heal him all the way. He’s been though am and deserves the world. We had so many plans together. This time next year I’ll be graduating. And I want him there with me.