#Am I over reacting?

267 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

reef gale
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I don't wanna ruin things

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but

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nah ill just stay silent

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I'm sorry

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I don't wanna carry a burden

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but

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I put this

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in my prespective

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if I was your boyfriend

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I would love to make time for everything

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or maybe

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even get you to hang out

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with my friend

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if he's comfortable

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now I don't know what's your bfs personality or his intentions

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and the relationship he has with his friend

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@hollow chasm

hollow chasm
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and this has kinda come up before i asked if i could come along but he said it would be awkward if it was me and my bf and his friend

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and i understand so its okay

reef gale
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yea that's a 3rd wheel

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it would be akward

hollow chasm
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yeah i agree

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they havent seen each other or hung out in like 3 months so i dont mind but it just kinda bothered me like no comprimise or anything

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nothing like "ill come after school to make up for it"

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:C

reef gale
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I was in a relatuonship

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3 months passed now

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since we're out

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and it devastated me

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changed me

hollow chasm
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and the way he just responded he could have reassured me n stuff about that he would miss me or we could call more to make up for it idk

hollow chasm
reef gale
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yes

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but I left it in the past

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it still like

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hurts me sometimes

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but life goes on

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I'm sorry

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I shouldn't be talking abt me

hollow chasm
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its okay

reef gale
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I'm terribly sorry

hollow chasm
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noo its okay!!

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i wish u the best :))

reef gale
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it's just

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tyyy

hollow chasm
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i would grieve too!!

reef gale
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let's countinue now

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so

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I'm giving myself as an example

hollow chasm
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yes

reef gale
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when I was with her

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she was my 1st

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and I was her 1st

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that plays a big role asawell

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so is he yr 1st

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if he is

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he should be all over the moon all over the skys all over the oceans like I was

hollow chasm
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yes we are both firsts

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i dunno the thing is like

reef gale
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I was so much in love

hollow chasm
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i am and i still am

reef gale
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I was blinded

hollow chasm
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i know he loves me but he just doesnt show it as much as he did before

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he has avoidant attachment kinda

reef gale
hollow chasm
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a year and a half almost

reef gale
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look

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love is a complicated thing

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verry

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verry

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like

hollow chasm
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yeaaah

reef gale
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listen

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love shouldn't be easy

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you need to learn how to lobe

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you need to learn how to love that person

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you get me?

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cause

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there will be always problems

hollow chasm
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he caresses my face and brushes my hair when we are together and he is very sweet but its just like sometimes when we r just online it just seems like he doesnt really seem motivated to SEE ME

reef gale
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I know child

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i really know

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trust me

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we were 3 months together

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online

hollow chasm
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but idk i think thats also maybe to do w preventing himself from feeling disappointed cuz sometimes his mom will stop him from going out or smt

reef gale
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we meet 1 week irl

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everything went disaster

hollow chasm
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ohno why

reef gale
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and she broke up

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I thought I was in love

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I was ready for it

reef gale
hollow chasm
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nooo aw

reef gale
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and I started doubting myself

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alot

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like alot alot

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and thought I wasn't enough for her

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even tho she told me

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I was

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billion times

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and

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the answer was

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I didn't love myself

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I haven't loved myself for a long time

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that plays the most important role

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self love

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listen

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@hollow chasm

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listen carefully now

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and answer me truthfully

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do you love yourself

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think deeply

hollow chasm
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yes I love myself

reef gale
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do you really think that

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I'll ask again

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cause

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if you don't love yourself

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you can't love others

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it's pointless

hollow chasm
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i think my boyfriend doesnt love himself enough to allow himself to love me as much as he wants to

reef gale
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there's your answer

hollow chasm
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idk i just feel so much love in person but online he just doesnt really show it as much as i wish he would

reef gale
hollow chasm
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it just feels like a big gap

reef gale
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in my relationship

hollow chasm
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he still says i love you and everything but he never really mentions that he misses me or is excited to see me soon

reef gale
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we were both scared

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that she wouldn't love me enough in irl

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I wasn't worried a bit abt me

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amd at the end the problem was in me

reef gale
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on our last day

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I was gonna break up with her

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my mom begged me

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not to do it

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because she put herself in her mom's shoes

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seeing her daughter go home crying

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and

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I made up my mind

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that I'll pretend so I can make her last day the best

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because all other 4 or 5 days were real bad

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real real bad

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I'm talking about

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our days basicly went

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crying hugging kissing and talking about the problem we were trying to solve

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and it ended bad

hollow chasm
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you guys were worried abt the distance?

reef gale
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she was in the UK and I was in Macedonia

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she was from Maxedonia

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living in the UK

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so it was a pain

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but you guys at least see once or twice a week

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I would cross the oceans if I had that chance

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to meet

hollow chasm
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aw

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yeah

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u guys still in contact?

reef gale
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I msged her 4 days ago

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to tell her that I discovered the probelm

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and explain her

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cause that's what she deserves at least

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an explanation

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I offered her

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that I would become better and love myself for her

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but

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she made it clear

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that she doesn't have any intention of getting back

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and told me we could be in contact or part aways

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I was clinging to the past

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which was destroying me

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mentally

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and my heart was in pain

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big pain

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and it still is sometimes

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and I had to make a tough choice

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I chose not to cling to the past

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that I need to move foward

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and do it for myself

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so I told her that

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and said goodbye

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and blocked her

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she was the best girl I have ever meet but it is what it is

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and now I'm on a tough journey

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on loving myself

hollow chasm
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aw yeah :((

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the distance would have been rlly hard

reef gale
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the hardest choices require the strongest wills

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that's what they say

reef gale
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maybe we would've made it

hollow chasm
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yeah

reef gale
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she was undoubtedly the best experience I ever had

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and the hardest one at the same time

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since she cut off contact w me on February 14th

hollow chasm
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ON VALENTINES?

reef gale
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yes

hollow chasm
reef gale
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we stayed friends after we broke up

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she was dry

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I asked her what's wrong

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and told me that taking to me made her fell bad which made me at the same time

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and that we can't ever be friends

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and I begged her

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for one last selfie

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so I could see her one last time

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she said now and not to text her ever again

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even tho she sent me a whole paragraph during the night

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I was desperate

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and asked her if she'd upload a story

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and then she blocked me everywhere

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and from that day

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the suffering began

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3 months

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felt like 3 years of pure tourture

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mentally

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if it wasn't for the gym

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I would've really gone mad

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so

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and that's basically it

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I learned a hard lesson

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the hard way

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not to get into a relationship without loving yourself first

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see why is it important

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I even had thoughts of ending my own life

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which thank God I didnt

hollow chasm
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You will find someone who loves you endlessly

orchid siren
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idk how

reef gale
reef gale
hollow chasm
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ill probably mention to him how we wont see each other for 2 weeks and see if he realizes LOL

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i think hes js being insensitive lol

reef gale
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don't forget to talk abt what I told you

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it's a real serious topic

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it's no joke at all

hollow chasm
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yes i will

reef gale
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good

hollow chasm
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tbh i feel like hes gonna say like im not good enough for u or like tell me to chill out

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idk

reef gale
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my dear I hope you or him don't end up like me

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send him to me if you have to

hollow chasm
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ill figure it out 👍🏻 ty

reef gale
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@hollow chasm

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inforgot to tell you

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another important thing

hollow chasm
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yes

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wgats yo

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up

reef gale
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do you belive in God in Jesus Christ

hollow chasm
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uhhh somewhat

reef gale
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I'm not forcing you or your boyfriend to be like

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you chose what you chose to belive in

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but if you don't include God into your relationship

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the chances of the relationship to truly succeed will drop

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if you include God into your relationship know that it will succeed

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so I'd suggest you when you two meet go to curch pray light candles

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or just a simple prayer for your relationship will help alot

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I'm not someone trying to get you into anything with Christianity

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cause you know you can't force someone to do something

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unless they themselves want to

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I'm just saying what to do for your relationship to succeed

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it's up to you two what you will do

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And that's all from me

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@hollow chasm

hollow chasm
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yeah i get that