how do i get rid of anxious attachment its killing me slowly

[analog geyser]

hii

hey

[analog geyser]

same place same time...

[naive cypress]

hello

[analog geyser]

i have an anxious attachment style and it was really draining and tiring but im starting to heal that part of myself and its a slow and gradual process but its really worth it

so for one

theres a lot of steps to it

but i would say the most important is rebuilding your self worth

you need to believe that you're enough as you are and you need to feel comfortable in your own body and with yourself, alone

[naive cypress]

hardest thing for me to do bru

[analog geyser]

i understand

i would start by trying to validate yourself

stop seeking external validation from others

every morning i try to do daily affirmations

[naive cypress]

i talk shit to myself idk how to do otherwise ngl

[analog geyser]

thats okay i used to do the same

look in the mirror and point out the good things about yourself

even if you dont believe it, with consistency and time your brain will start to believe it

your brain believes anything thats repeated to it

[naive cypress]

no wonder why i hate myself 😭

alr

[analog geyser]

hey

just waited till you two were done

one sec

you can start by trying to find validation from yourself

look up videos or articles online on how to improve self worth

itll help a lot

and i think thats key to healing anxious attachment

[naive cypress]

hm okay

also i feel like im bothering my gf when i text her and i overthink a shit ton

[analog geyser]

thats okay

just work on yourself

take a break if its necessary

[naive cypress]

and she responds really slow because shes always busy but last time i talked to her she said she doesnt like using her phone even though her boyfriend is literally on it

i dont do breaks its either stay together or breakup tbh

shes the same way

breaks to me is basically a excuse for someone to cheat or mess around

shes still in contact with her ex which made me uncomfertable

but i cant do anything abouit that

[naive cypress]

She js broke up with me

[edgy hollow]

Ngl dude

Sounds like you kinda dodged a bullet

[analog geyser]

im so sorry. i left my ex who only feeded and made my anxious attachment worse and i felt so much better once i left. allow urself to grieve and process ur emotions, it helps in the long run even if it hurts at first. cry, do wtv i promise it gets better. work on self validation and loving urself during this time, focus on urself and i promise u it will get better. you deserve the best, this was a blessing in disguise

[naive cypress]

bruh i cant even cry over anything anymore it just hurts

[analog geyser]

and that’s okay. just allow urself to feel whatever comes up, even if it hurts. but don’t dwell on it, i’d say like allow urself 10-15 mins a day to feel then get up and do something to take ur mind off of it. i know it hurts a lot but it’s worth it in the end

[cloud glacier]

hey so anxious attachment is HELL and it will hit you even harder in breakups because ur still deeply attached to the person but deep down understand u should be letting go. it really ain’t that easy tho. i don’t fully know what ur situation is with her but after so many life lessons, ive realized, the right person will not make u doubt. it seems like she was a little avoidant and u being anxious, would have continued to be a constant clash. i get very passionate abt this sort of thing cus i used to be anxious attachment myself, so if u need any sort of support, always here to help

[grim solstice]

I fear I suffer from this badly and I don’t even think it was caused by anything

[analog geyser]

it’s caused by something that happened earlier on in life

[naive cypress]

Its fine i got a bigger chest than her 🥲💔

ill get over it

[analog geyser]

well it has nothing to do with her at this point, you should only be thinking about yourself

[vague palm]

im reading through rn with a really heavy heart, i felt better reading other people improving their anxious attachment

[rugged moat]

Read thru this thread as well and i hope i can also improve my anxious attachment. I wish i couldve fixed it sooner tho. It feels especially harder to do that step of building self worth when ive also done my fair share of horrible actions to my partner

[naive cypress]

She js messaged me

Said Ok and deleted her contact

[analog geyser]

okay well there’s ur closure

[naive cypress]

I love you guys btw, idk why i just do