I feel like Killing myself

[tight wind]

Im 14 yrs old and I can't cope with the way the world is I hate that I can't control anything I hate that everyone older than me that I love is going to die one day my dad died when I was 13 and it was so horrible that I think about killing myself when my mom is old and inevitably dies I'm also anxious about climate change the state of my country and other things I also have gerd(acid reflux) so I'm paranoid about my health I still have goals in life I want to be a film director but I feel like after I make a few films when I'm an adult I'll kill myself because I don't want to be forced to live for nothing I also have problems with derealization I sometimes feel like nothing's real and I wish there was a little magic in my life sometimes I hope robots take over because I'm just really bored and done with everything school doesn't help it just makes me want to kill myself sooner

[brittle stag]

Brotha can't stop you but yes the harsh reality is death is the only thing that's promised when alive

[feral grotto]

Hiiii there, I am so so so so so so sorry for the way your feeling right now. This breaks my hesart to infinite pieces. If there's anything i can do for you or assist you in please let me know. I can't just hear someone say they will kill themselves and do nothing!!

I am here for you to support you, to help you, to assist you, and change you!!!

You deserve a better life, and kindness I promise!!

[tight wind]

I don't think there's anything you can do for me but thank you a lot! I just hope things in America will get better!

[tight wind]

Sometimes I stress myself into a slump so I just needed to vent

[feral grotto]

WHY THE FUCKING hell is it blocking my messages, I am not sending no profanity, insults or anything in any way shape or form???

[feral grotto]

But your not actually going to k i l yourself or anything like that, not now or later right?

It keeps freaking blocking my messages. Sorry lol.

And I am scared and worried about you to be honest..

[tight wind]

Tbh I don't know I'm definitely not going to kill myself right now but if I become an adult and things have only gotten worse I don't think I'd want to live and also have to deal with any more death

[feral grotto]

Nooooooooooooooooo please please please DON'T DO IT!!!!! Think about me, think about your family at least and the people you actually cherish, if they know that you killed yourself how would they genuinely feel. Life isn't easy, but I PROMISE you, that things will get better and they will change eventually just don't give up, and continue smiling and fighting the good fight. Change will come, and you will get a better life, it may not be OVERNIGHT, or IMMEDIATE but it will HAPPEN!!

If I know you killed yourself later on and I couldn't stop it, it will destroy me on the inside.

[tight wind]

Yea your right I just sometimes think about if there's something after life and if it'd be better than now I think I'm too stressed with school and the world and my country especially because me and my siblings are autistic and not white and I'm queer so I feel like idk the universe is betraying me or something i think I'll try to just ignore it but it's hard

[tight wind]

I just hope this somehow gets settled before I'm an adult because my families too poor to move countries

[feral grotto]

I know you may not like this but please please, can I friend request you, I am really really worried about you, and your health right now. I just can't watch someone say they will kill themselves there's always a chance for everyone no matter what.

I can do my best to check in on you, and assist you however I can.

[tight wind]

Yes you can friend me