turbid obsidian
me and my bf decided to become friends again after dating for 6 months. reason was that he felt overwhelmed since it was his first relay (mine too), hes busy with college and needs to divide his time to spend with his friends as well. going into the relationship, i came to my own understanding that i wont be his first priority. it rlly hit me but i tried to be as understanding as i could, but ig it was still hard on him.
and so we decided to go back to being friends but it was also my voicing out what i thought he wanted. it has always been like that. me suggesting that he can talk more to his friends rather than me hurt me too but seeing him atm being sad and distraught abt having to choose just made my heart even weaker so i chose the option where he would feel better while i'll try to heal from the desicion slowly.
and so it was the same with the going back to being friends thing. 3 days prior, he told me that truthfully, being in a relationship has been hard on him with all the stuff he has going on. and so i suggested to talk casually between us and that he can focus on the stuff he has going on even more. but then 3 days later i noticed his way of talking was the same and it just felt even more hurtful and so on call i told him how i know that this is still not working out for him and painfully i said "do you want to go back to being friends?" and he said yes.
knowing him, it probably wouldve taken him longer to say it on his own.
and so we're now back to the friend stage. and it hurts. a lot
the only reason i suggested it was bcs i didnt want him to feel hurt anymore, i didnt think of myself, the only thing i thought was 'ill wait for him' and now i am.
but the thing is now, the texts just doesnt feel like before, and it hurts even more seeing him online and talking to his friends so happily while im here still crying everyday over what happened. im guessing hes talking to his friends to just get over the sadness but then again why would u get over it so easily. he did say he still loves me a lot and hes serious about us and that we would still call and say ily to each other when the times right but im being doubtful
how did we use to text and call so lovingly to being like this. i wish he would tell me what he truly feels. has he lost feelings for me? is it just genuinely bcs of the part that we were under the connection of being in a relationship that burdened him? i just want the truth.
rustic palm
