echo lake
basically my attachment pattern to people, especially men, like older men, i feel fine talking to them, then i get to know them, i see them like a brother/older male figure that care about me and then it gets worse and progresses into something more like a crush but not really. its more like if you were single and had a best friend and the best friend and you cuddled or smth. not in a romantic way but halfway also. just like intimacy. and the issue is thats a problem that im trying to fix and its happening currently. the brother stage and borderline the next one. but im trying to tell myself "no, thats wrong, stop thinking like that"
but its really hard. this is what having daddy and mommy issues does for relationships for me.
and i hate it so much.
and after that last stage i either pull away/break off contact or it gets even worse.
like. fantasies type worse.
this happens with men who are at least a few years older than me. and the issue is some of them make amazing friends but then my brain ends up like that and its hard to stop.
it makes me sick to my stomach and im not sure what to do.
what makes it worse is i have a boyfriend (and he knows about this i think but i dont want to bring it up bc im too scared. ik he'd understand but still)
eager galleon