Help me understand what's happening with me rn

[winter fjord]

This whole day I've been feeling certain tightness in my chest I can't breathe properly my throat feels blocked and like I start to cry suddenly outta nowhere everynow and then and when I do the breathing kinda gets heavy... My mind is in a mess and I can't think straight I can't do anything it's like my hands and legs are tied I tried cleaning up but I can't I give up... I tried distraction but no help.... What's going on with me

[dense sparrow]

im not a doctor, but these kinda sound like panic attacks to me. contact a doctor about it i think, cuz im really not sure

whats happening in your life? you sure is stressed, what makes you feel like this?

[winter fjord]

I mean the description of panic attacks I've read are like quite sever which in my case isn't like it's as bad as like yk obstructing my absolute physical working it kinda mentally restricts me from doing anything... And like yea I've been quite stressed and not in a good mood lately and my chronic Overthinking is the cherry on top

I'm not sure if it's panic attack.... Labelling it as panic attack sounds kinda heavy that's why I'm confused as kinda what is actually going on....

[covert stirrup]

shool or something making you overthink?

*school

[dense sparrow]

i dont really know actually whats going on, as I said im thinkin its like a panic attack, cuz heavy breathing throat feeling blocked etc is not normal stress simptoms for sure, doesnt sound like depression, i dont really know, as I said i think you should contact a doctor with this, my mom had similar things happening back a few years ago and they said it was a light panic attack if i remember right, and its no joke, can cause problems in life. defenetly talk to someone about this you trust, and contact a doctor if this keeps happening

what makes you stressed btw

[winter fjord]

Overall everything... My Overthinking pattern starts from present to past like 10-15 years.... Not like it matters but I can't stop my mind from thinking about it... The more I try not to think the more I think.... My mind acts like a naughty kids if u tell it to not do something it'll definitely do it.... It's like I'm split into two... I am just standing watching my mind doing stuffs like a parent of a unruly child

[covert stirrup]

oof alright, i cant exactly say that im like that but from how its sounding, your stuck on so called Auto Pilot mode, your mind and body are used to doing the same thing every day. just in your case, it sounds like you are also stuck with ADHD in that mix

and as for the pain, Zoze can do that part

kindly

[winter fjord]

Many things like relationship friendships social relations academics myself but rn mainly my academics...... I'm kinda struggling really bad.... I have the ideas but I'm really bad in delivering it and yk explaining it to the audience like my teachers which makes it look like I've got nothing done and also I'm like kinda introvert so that also doesn't help

[winter fjord]

Zoze?

[covert stirrup]

@dense sparrow

[dawn grotto]

You cant just make yourself stop overthinking. The trick is to realise your doing it and know that all the stuff your overthinking about likely isnt accurate or true. When you start to consistently realise that most of those thoughts are just BS, then eventually they largely go away and stop becoming a problem. At least thats what ive found out from personal experience

[winter fjord]

Well I've never tried getting diagnosed or something but I'm kinda sure I've a mild ocd situation like..... I'm either cleaning like every bit of the spot or if garbage gets adding up I can't go near or function properly kinda gets like a hoarder situation (just an example) again it's just a self diagnosis so idk

[winter fjord]

O I see I hope they helps in this 🥲

[covert stirrup]

im self dignosed with ADD and and very small ocd

most of dads side has it

[winter fjord]

I'm partly very much aware of it all but again I know it's not important none of it is true but I just manipulate and convince myself into thinking it is idk if I'm making sense but ya.... Like eg in a certain scenario I didn't something very right and ik it and I've witnessed it ik I did it right but someone says i didn't do it I start questioning first they eventually get convinced I didn't do it like yk wut I mean

[winter fjord]

None from either of my side every tried diagnosing anything so no info from my side 🥲

[covert stirrup]

oof, sorry to hear

[dense sparrow]

i kinda releate to dat, i kinda have similar problems, i put together everything in my head and when it comes to present it in any form i cannot pull my toughts together

i think its just anxiety

wich is not easily treatable by yourself

[winter fjord]

Yea like it's there but it's not like there some sort of gatekeeping situation like its some top secret stuff between me and my mind 🥲

I mean my whole teenage years I was kinda into selfharming and stuff and still have some issues like obsessive hair plucking and skin pricking not as worse as back then but it's still there.... But I kinda feel there are not that serious so never tried going to any doctor

[dense sparrow]

this is a common thing, as i said mostly caused by anxiety, stress or just being an introvert wich is a mix of a lot of things. does this happen in social situations only or does it happen when your alone or in a comfortable situation too?

[dawn grotto]

I understand, being critical and trying to objectivly analyse your thoughts takes time to get good at. For me it helped to think about it this way. If the thoughts are negative and I don't plan on acting on them or see them actually influencing anything and changing any outcomes, then they are sort of meaningless and worthless. So they can safely be ignored and discarded.

Like if said something to a friend and then later i start overthinking and working myself up. Then I take a step back and ask myself if there is actually any lesson here to take away and if all this overthinking is actually going to benefit me next time I speak to my friend again. Most often the answer is no and my friend probably doesn't even remember the conversation anyway.

[winter fjord]

Overall like I struggle wording my thoughts... Or explaining

[dense sparrow]

im actually getting ADHD from this, thats basically only treatable by medical help

[winter fjord]

That not remember part is so tru

[winter fjord]

There is no physical pain tho like the once that I read so idk if it's that serious

[dawn grotto]

I agree with zozedo. Those physical symptoms you're experiencing sound very much like a response to stress. There's nothing dangerous about it. If you manage to improve your situatuon and remove sources of stress from your life, then those symptoms should go away.

[dense sparrow]

same, thats not something you can change from a day to another, its a long process wich you can do by trying to understand your situation, where you are, what are you doing etc, im not a therapist dont take any of my suggestions granted, its just what i would do if i have to solve this myself

[dense sparrow]

ADHD does not mean 100% physical pain if that what your talkin bout, it can be a side effect but not granted.

[dawn grotto]

Self harming though is a bad habit to get into. The earlier you stop, the better. Self harming might make you feel better in the short term, but long term it will always feel bad.

[winter fjord]

TW btw I did stopped like earlier it was very bad I've blade marks on my arm I once in rage just pressed hot iron on my arm I mean the list goes on and on but like I've stopped doing it all but the other ones I can't I just physically can't sometimes I spend almost hours and hours in it

[winter fjord]

One confusion is that should I look for a therapist a psychiatrist or a psychologist?

[dawn grotto]

I also don't think you should be too hasty to jump to a OCD or ADHD diagnosis. Everything you're saying sounds very much like various responses to stress. Any therapist worth their salt will tell you that you need to eliminate a good portion of the stress from your life before an accurate diagnosis can be made.

[dense sparrow]

i think you should start with a therapist, so you can have a person to talk to, that relieves a lot of stress, and a therapist always gives good advice. for me just talkin here about my struggles relieved a lot of tension and stress that i held in, so defenetly start with a therapist

i dont think your case would need a psychiatrist or a psychologist

from what i understood

[winter fjord]

That's what the one therapist I tried said like yk removing the stuff that stresses me n stuff but on the very last day of the session she did a questionnaire sort of thing and came to the conclusion that I need to go consult a doctor since my situation is bit serious for her level... The problem is it was a idk if u call it pre or pro bono but yea that type situation so idk if that was legit

[dawn grotto]

I think that if you can't figure it out youself, then seeing another therapist that can help you manage your stress is a wise thing to do.

[dense sparrow]

yep, meditation and therapy can help a lot with stress, find a hobby you enjoy, dont put too muhc pressure on yourself, i would say just try a weekend where you relax, do what you want, meet with friends or something, and just turn off

[winter fjord]

Umm ya ig I should do that.... Like most of the time I take it all lightly like it's not that bad or that serious..... Does it sound serious?

[dawn grotto]

Yeah, the best way to remove stress is literally to just spend more time doing what you enjoy. The more time you spend enjoying life, then of course the better life is and the better you'll overall feel.

[winter fjord]

I would love to but I'm an architecture student 🥲that like cancels out all the free time that I have.....

[dawn grotto]

Do you enjoy studying to be an architect?

[winter fjord]

If I speak my true mind I feel guilty and criminal being stress free and at peace..... I feel like I'm not doing enough I mean if after everything the if the result were good then I wouldn't have complained but the results are also trash so everything is trash at the end

[winter fjord]

Sometimes like when I've to brag about it with outside people who've no clue about it (like my relatives 😇)

[dawn grotto]

Things don't have to be calming and peaceful to be worthwhile and fulfilling. There's nothing to feel guilty about. Most worthwhile pursuits are challenging.

[winter fjord]

Also it's the only time when I fully feel my emotions like yk sadness disappointment anger.. So idk it's kinda like a like the thing that hurts us

[dawn grotto]

Haha thats all well and good. But like, how often are you excited to wake up and study and how often do you feel fulfilled at the end of the day?

[winter fjord]

Rarely

[dawn grotto]

I'm not trying to talk you out of your studies, by all means go for it. But it sounds like if that's all you have time for, then no wonder you feel a little miserable. Most people need balance and variation in life.

[dawn grotto]

I mean yeah, no wonder you're not doing great if the majority of your waking hours is spent doing something you're not really passionate about.

[winter fjord]

I mean I've always been a lonee I had like only two friends who've like kinda grew distant as of now in college I've like two people and my circle is kinda like a dot fr.... But like architecture kinda yk helped me socialize a bit and like I'm learning how to be professional in someway so in that case I'm more social now than before

[dawn grotto]

That's good 🙂

[winter fjord]

Like before this I used to live alone so sometimes for a day Or two I might not hear my own voice bc I've nobody to talk to

Not complaining tho like I kinda enjoy that too tbh

[dawn grotto]

I think it's very healthy that your studies are pushing you to socialise more, absolutely continue with that. However to me it sounds like thats not quite enough.

[winter fjord]

Ig 🥲but like it's very scary ngl

Talking to people and stuff

Like specially the approach part of it

Like also talking like what am I supposed to say... Like sometimes idk what I am saying out of panic

I stutter a bit bc of that

[dawn grotto]

It gets easier the more you do it. I know it's scary, but the way to improve your social skills it to just keep talking to folks. Therapists call it exposure therapy.

[winter fjord]

Plus the negative part is that I'm kinda like studying outta state and they've different language so I've to use english which def isn't native to me.... So have to use extra extra brain cells

[dawn grotto]

You keep exposing yourself to unconformable situations and eventually you get used to them and they become comfortable.

[winter fjord]

Yea it is but in the process I kinda give myself some fresh batch of traumas

Like this one time I couldn't word something simple out of my mouth so I was doing hand signs like it was traumatic but hilarious.... The teacher was confused as hell

[dawn grotto]

That's just how it is when you're speaking a foreign language you haven't quite mastered. Sometimes happens when you speak your native language as well.

I've wailed with my hands trying to explain stuff to someone who I don't share a language with. You just gotta go with it and laugh a little at yourself. But like, it's a completely normal way to communicate. I've had entire conversations with people where it's mostly been hand waving and stuff.

It's totally valid to feel embarrassed, but like at the end of the day who cares if some folks found it amusing.

[winter fjord]

Tru