#A journal off my life season 2

1 messages · Page 16 of 1

quartz condor
#

dopamine may trigger allergic-like reactions and can also play a role in actual allergic and inflammatory diseases

but as a neurotransmitter, and actuall "hapiness allergy" does not exist due to it not being a ingestible chemical/product and instead a working part of the body

unkempt shale
#

(Not me having dopamine meds. And not knowing this)

quartz condor
quartz condor
#

or more exactly, neurochemistry

unkempt shale
quartz condor
unkempt shale
quartz condor
#

😔

unkempt shale
quartz condor
#

uh

unkempt shale
quartz condor
#

whats the issue with knowledge

#

😡

unkempt shale
quartz condor
unkempt shale
quartz condor
unkempt shale
#

Anyways here is a hot pic of billie

unkempt shale
quartz condor
unkempt shale
#

Is

quartz condor
#

nope

pliant dragon
quartz condor
#

nope

pliant dragon
#

billie is hot

quartz condor
#

not at all

#

nuh uh

unkempt shale
#

I've seen this live

#

This is better

quartz condor
#

.

unkempt shale
#

Mother🛐

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
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On my knees for hee

#

Her

unkempt shale
pliant dragon
#

broski just dont have taste

unkempt shale
#

(I just have a thing for women that play guitar)

quartz condor
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no one is better than lebron tho

unkempt shale
quartz condor
#

lebron is my goat

unkempt shale
pliant dragon
unkempt shale
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That's gay btw

pliant dragon
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but i wqs close

quartz condor
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i always remember lebron when im sad

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he's like a father figure

unkempt shale
#

Abs

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ABS

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ABS

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ABS

#

🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

quartz condor
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WATCH ME HIT A CLIP

unkempt shale
#

Better look🛐

quartz condor
#

HURRAH

#

ooooooooooooooooooh

pliant dragon
quartz condor
#

THAT WAS PERFECT

pliant dragon
#

tbh

quartz condor
#

AHAHAHA

unkempt shale
#

Ong

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And I don't normally love abs

quartz condor
#

y not

unkempt shale
#

I'd send the most prettiest girl here

#

But I cant

unkempt shale
quartz condor
pliant dragon
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girl send her

unkempt shale
pliant dragon
#

exactly

unkempt shale
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
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Cutie omgggg

#

😝

#

youre better tho

unkempt shale
pliant dragon
#

but I dont want to fight

unkempt shale
pliant dragon
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so youre prettier

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totally

unkempt shale
#

I'm violent when I'm drunk

#

I'm violent when I'm sober too🙏

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I'm usefull in a bar fight

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Struggling with lyrics💀

pliant dragon
#

HAHAHA

unkempt shale
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
unkempt shale
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
#

LIKE OMG

#

YOU WAS LITERALLY ON EVERY CONCERT

unkempt shale
#

Il call you during the song dw

pliant dragon
pliant dragon
#

NAH

quartz condor
#

trvth nvke

pliant dragon
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if you want to

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I dont mind

#

😛😛

unkempt shale
pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

Life's a bitch

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But so am i

#

😝

pliant dragon
quartz condor
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no comment

pliant dragon
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FUCK YEAH

pliant dragon
quartz condor
#

oh fr?

pliant dragon
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YEAH

quartz condor
#

I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT

#

WHEN MFS

pliant dragon
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SMASH

quartz condor
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DONT WRITE RUNWAY NUMBERS RIGHT

#

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

unkempt shale
quartz condor
#

no....

pliant dragon
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LAMO

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LMAO

unkempt shale
#

My dad just made me cry

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He's so cute

quartz condor
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what'd he say

pliant dragon
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he did a backflip?

unkempt shale
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He send this

pliant dragon
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HES SO CUTE

#

OMG

unkempt shale
#

IKR

quartz condor
pliant dragon
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
#

.

unkempt shale
#

Wierdo

quartz condor
unkempt shale
quartz condor
unkempt shale
#

Got it

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
quartz condor
unkempt shale
quartz condor
unkempt shale
#

and got it for free

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i also have a vinyl

quartz condor
#

i respect the grind

unkempt shale
#

i need more billie merch

quartz condor
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u dont respect mine

#

😡

unkempt shale
unkempt shale
unkempt shale
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bro

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this one girl keeps like venting to me

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im not even responding

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havent responded in like 3 days

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she keeps venting

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today she talked about how she gets bullied by someone who is 4 years younger than her

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bsfr

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
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like uhm..girl look, no responding is also anwser

unkempt shale
#

rn shes talking

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probably rantint about how im ignoreing her

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like im sorry, but i dont care enough to spend the energy on you

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i barely text my own girlfriend rn

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stfu

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''I know that it’s really your decision when to answer or talk to me but u never did it like that and you still keep posting stuff on Instagram or wherever.
It just feels bad but i think u know consequences''

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yeah!

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i do actually

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when i spend too much energy on negative stuff in my life i get miserable

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thank you very much

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honestly i wanna say

unkempt shale
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''yeah, you clearly dont tho''

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CUZ SHE FUCKING BLOCKED ME 3 TIMES

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
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and i kept reconecting

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now im just too tired to even try it

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and now shes the one begging for me to come back ig

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wierd how the tables have turned

pliant dragon
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so real omg

unkempt shale
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i feel the urge to lowkey just send it

pliant dragon
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idk whos that but your urge is so good

unkempt shale
pliant dragon
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
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OH MY

quartz condor
#

.

unkempt shale
#

there is a whole backstory behind this girl of like 3 years now

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she was great

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untill she wasnt

quartz condor
#

lit

quartz condor
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anyways bruh

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wsp

unkempt shale
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fine, exausted asf tho

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tomorrow last work day! after that 12 days of pure relaxation

quartz condor
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im uh

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ye.

unkempt shale
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valid

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okey imma try to decide if i should go full bitch mode or not

unkempt shale
#

its saturday

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i work from wednesday through saturday

pliant dragon
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we have friday

#

ig

pliant dragon
quartz condor
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crazy

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mindblowing

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flabbergasting

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intresting

unkempt shale
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tell me

quartz condor
#

and a fact that will blow the rocks off of your socks

quartz condor
unkempt shale
unkempt shale
#

...

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bitch

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

anyways im going light on the girl

quartz condor
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LEBROOOOON JAAAAAAAMESSSSS!!!!

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MY GOAT

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UR GOAT

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OUR GOAT

pliant dragon
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what is your favorite season dudessss

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and why

quartz condor
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on what

pliant dragon
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..

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winter, autumn,spring

quartz condor
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oh

pliant dragon
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and the last one idk

quartz condor
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i thought u meant fornite

pliant dragon
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IM NOT

quartz condor
pliant dragon
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ADDICTED

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LIKE THST

pliant dragon
quartz condor
#

🤯

pliant dragon
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okay so tell me

#

your fav season

quartz condor
pliant dragon
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and why

unkempt shale
#

i hate cramps

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i hope that apple tastd like gold

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bitch

pliant dragon
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HAHAHAHAHA

#

real.

quartz condor
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fall or winter cuz i can milsim freely but barely any breaks so no time

pliant dragon
quartz condor
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
quartz condor
unkempt shale
#

okey aperantly i went bitch mode

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oops

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mistakes can happen

quartz condor
#

it prolly tasted like a normal apple

unkempt shale
#

honestly wasnt even that bad

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

cuz istg

pliant dragon
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IM LAUGHING HELP

quartz condor
#

mayne

#

mayne

#

mayne

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MAYBE

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FUCK

pliant dragon
quartz condor
unkempt shale
#

and childbirth

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SHE MADE THAT PAINFULL

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

IT COULDVE BEEN SO EASY

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BUT NO

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SHE HAD TO HAVE A APPLE

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SHE HAD A WHOLE FUCKING GARDEN

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BUT SHE NEEDED THAT

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ONE

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STUPID

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APLE

pliant dragon
#

okay sorry

quartz condor
pliant dragon
quartz condor
#

idk why

pliant dragon
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.

pliant dragon
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im playing w my bsf

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a lot

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yk which ine

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one

quartz condor
#

?

pliant dragon
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Like youre always joining when im playing with my friend

quartz condor
#

oh lmao

pliant dragon
#

hahahahha

quartz condor
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ye im special like that

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funky man

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im never saying that again

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i apologize u had to read that

pliant dragon
#

HAAHAHAHAHA

pliant dragon
#

okay no

unkempt shale
#

NADIA

quartz condor
#

ima crashout if i dont milsim soon bro

unkempt shale
#

ugh she pisses me off

pliant dragon
#

I SAID NO

unkempt shale
#

i dont want to loose her, but honestly ugh

pliant dragon
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just say you dont have time or something

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because you havr work

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and everything

quartz condor
#

kevlar vests

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🤤

unkempt shale
#

(IT IS BTW)

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(im not gaslightingnooo )

pliant dragon
#

idk whos that but billie eilish

pliant dragon
#

REALLY?

quartz condor
#

okay sorry

pliant dragon
#

yes that one

#

feather of a birds

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🔥🔥

quartz condor
#

feathers of a bird

quartz condor
#

i say same song

pliant dragon
#

you should listen to xanny

unkempt shale
pliant dragon
#

thats my fav song

quartz condor
pliant dragon
pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

REAL

pliant dragon
quartz condor
pliant dragon
#

XANNY

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BILLIE

#

SONG

quartz condor
#

on another note,

pliant dragon
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NAME

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,,xanny”

quartz condor
#

my friends joke im a drug dealer

pliant dragon
#

listen

#

to

#

zanny

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fuck

#

zanny

#

zanny

#

xanny

#

by

#

billie

quartz condor
#

,,hi''

pliant dragon
#

eilish

quartz condor
pliant dragon
#

,,hello”

unkempt shale
#

or how you spell that

quartz condor
#

i think

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also wym bruh

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i dont deal medication

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
quartz condor
#

knowing shroom doses is normal

unkempt shale
#

-# (joke i dont but i could)

unkempt shale
quartz condor
#

🤫

unkempt shale
quartz condor
pliant dragon
#

your dream job and why

unkempt shale
#

she choose it not me

unkempt shale
pliant dragon
quartz condor
#

programmer or 669

pliant dragon
#

oo cool

quartz condor
#

i simp for 669 🤩

pliant dragon
#

i lowkey want to have job around music idk: drummer, electric guitar(maybe but like 50/50), music producer

pliant dragon
#

just to be around music

quartz condor
#

😎

pliant dragon
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dw im gonna force soph to have basement for recording studio

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she dont have to know

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oh.

unkempt shale
#

whos gonna pay for all that

pliant dragon
#

me

unkempt shale
#

with what job

pliant dragon
#

unkempt shale
#

....

pliant dragon
#

unkempt shale
#

you better make a few mil

pliant dragon
#

IM GONNA ASK FINNEAS FOR COLABORATE

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DW

#

DW

#

DW

unkempt shale
#

HELP

pliant dragon
#

IM ON MY WAY

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WAIT

quartz condor
#

i will launder money for you

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no worries

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5 years jail

#

no problem

#

unkempt shale
#

mind you, we will also end up in jail

quartz condor
pliant dragon
#

I just imagine like someone is coming to our house and someone is asking me where am I and sophie is answering dw in the basement

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that sounds horrible

unkempt shale
pliant dragon
#

like shes kidnapping me

unkempt shale
quartz condor
quartz condor
unkempt shale
#

HOT

#

HOT

#

HOT

#

cuz like

#

uhm

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shredding

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and

#

drumming

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will get sweaty

pliant dragon
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IH YEAH RIGHT

unkempt shale
quartz condor
pliant dragon
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
#

😝

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OH?

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dw you have permission im gonna give you keys

unkempt shale
#

BHAHAHA

pliant dragon
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bro im literally dying when im
playing on drum pad for practice

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so im scared how thsts gonna be with real one

pliant dragon
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IM GONNA

#

HAVE

#

SECRET

#

ROOM

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FOR PLAYING

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POKER

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AND CASINO

#

yk i have to get money somehow

unkempt shale
#

...

quartz condor
#

🤑

pliant dragon
#

JKJKJJKKKJK

pliant dragon
#

and the fact im right handed but my left hand is stronger than right

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and im ranndomly dropping stick from my right hand

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like idk how

pliant dragon
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im right

quartz condor
#

ur wrong

pliant dragon
#

I am right-handed, but I have confirmed that one hemisphere of my brain tells me to do this some activity with the left hand and not the right one.

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literally im opening bottles with left hand, sometimes im writing

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thats really weird

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but i have paper for that

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today i was throwing ball in water by left hand because my right one is weak

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mini fact about me

#

im typing rn with left hand too

pliant dragon
pliant dragon
#

real

pliant dragon
#

chat gpt told me to drink a lot of water after sunstroke

#

i forgot

quartz condor
pliant dragon
#

ikr

quartz condor
#

wheres soph

pliant dragon
#

idk*

#

@unkempt shale

#

youre still have bitchy mode on?

quartz condor
unkempt shale
#

i hate friendships

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cuz they pretty much always end

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and i never know if i want them to

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i havent seen her as a friend in so long. its just wierd because last year i had a complete breakdown because she left me

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and now

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im not sure how i feel.
i feel sad, but its not in a way id expect idk

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
#

thats weird because she blocked you for no reason like what the hell??? you should also spend time w ur friends sophie

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but I mean ofc if you want to spend time w them

unkempt shale
#

lowkey didnt feel like calling with her so its fine

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and she blocked me cuz i forgot her b-day by 2 days

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(my friends know thats impressive cuz normally i just forget them fully)

pliant dragon
#

i got deja vu

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and idk

unkempt shale
#

idk might be

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

yea its fine

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she told me to text her whenever i felt like it

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

yea

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
#

like situation yk

unkempt shale
#

idk what situation

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cuz she doesnt really understand it

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but alr

pliant dragon
#

OH WAIT

#

I MISSUNDERSTOOD

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IGNORE IT

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NVM

#

SOREY

#

SORRY

unkempt shale
#

I know what I want to say just not how to say it

#

I hate this

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I hate th flashbacks

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The urges

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The overthinking

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I wish I was normal

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I wish I could call her rn

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Which is wierd cuz I declined the call

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I fucked up so bad

unkempt shale
#

Idk why but I just feel empty today

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Idk

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

I'm so exhausted ngl. I sleep at 1 am get up at 8.30. Idk I just want one night where I don't do anything. Just in my room etc

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
unkempt shale
unkempt shale
#

Today I stood up for my sister against my dad if

#

Ig

#

Didn't go well but yea

pliant dragon
#

thats important because you tried

#

even if thats didnt go well

unkempt shale
#

Have a stupid headache

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I feel the need to vent but idk about what and it's so wierd

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

But it's fine

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

My parents irritate me so bad tn

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Rn

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We're on vacation, we planned that today was a beach day

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And then last moment they decide to go somewhere else? I've communicated multiple times that I prefer to just keep doing what we planned so that I know what to mentally prepare for

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Then we went back to our hotel rooms and I asked them what time we will go. (I've conunicated before that I hate it when I don't have a proper time because I just don't know how long I can take etc) and then they say. 'Just get ready and we will go'

#

Like they ignore everything I tell them?

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And then they wonder why I never tell them something

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It's such a small issue that can be handled so quickly but it just ruins it so bad for me

pliant dragon
#

I know it ruins your mood right now, but it’s not your fault, they should really pay more attention to what you say. Maybe in the evening you’ll get a chance to relax a bit and find your peace❤️

unkempt shale
#

This time it was us going out for dinner

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We planned 7:30

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And my parents just came in (obv 25 too early) and said 'were done you guys also are cuz then we can just go rn'

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I was startled and honestly a bit annoyed at it cuz like the fuck?

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And I just like idk. I'm bad at hiding emotions so it showed

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And my sister was also against it

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We agreed again on 7:30

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And then I just got even more annoyed in my head cuz like make up your mind or something

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My mom was like 'yeah we can go right now, but 7:30 is also fine' and she kept insisting

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And I just heard ny dad said 'jesus' under his breath

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Like you fucking know I handle changes like these bad

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So why shame me for your useless communication

pliant dragon
#

That really sounds frustrating love. You had a clear plan and then suddenly everything changed without warning, no wonder it annoyed you. I get that it’s hard to react calmly when people know that sudden changes are tough for you. You shouldn’t feel guilty for needing predictability.❤️

unkempt shale
#

I've been eating less. It's hot so I already do from nature. But idk I've been eating even less, started to kinda count my calories today idk. Kinda want to loose weight

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

I feel so fat

unkempt shale
#

I feel like relapsing

#

I won't tho

pliant dragon
#

Sophie, I’m really sorry you feel this way but please remember, you are not fat. Those are just negative thoughts trying to trick you, not the truth about who you are. You’re a beautiful and valuable person. I really admire that even in such hard moments you can say ‘I won’t tho’. That’s real strength and shows how much you’re fighting. And please don’t forget, you’re not alone in this. If you ever feel worse or just need to talk, you can always dm me❤️❤️

unkempt shale
#

I wish I could just disappear

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Today I woke up at 10 for meds

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Couldn't sleep after but whatever

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I did some stuff and went to my hockeyclub yo get my shirt

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Then went home, ate something and started to clean my room

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Prepare my school bag

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I didn't finish my room but whatever

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Then this night I'm just anxious. School is starting soon which just makes me anxious and stressed already

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I haven't eaten sinc

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No one comes to check up and asks how I am or something

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Haven't gone downstairs

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But okey

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Theb my mom comes in my room 'why haven't you unpacked your suitcase yet? You haven't done anything all day'

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Like okey thanks

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Just had a breakdown but it's not like they cate

#

I'm so done

pliant dragon
#

I’m really sorry you feel this way… Sharing your emotions like this already shows a lot of strength. Anxiety and stress can be so overwhelming, especially with school coming up. I get that you feel unseen, but I want you to know that what you’re going through matters and you matter. It might feel like no one notices you, but I do, you’re important to me and I see you.❤️ You don’t need to prove your worth by how much you get done in a day. The fact that you made it through today is already a big thing. Sometimes just surviving the day takes so much strength. I’m here if you need someone to listen. You’re not alone in this.❤️

#

You dont have to anwser that Sophie. I just want you to know that

unkempt shale
#

I can do the present I want to give her🙂‍↕️

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Just confirmed with my mom

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I'm so exited tbh

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It will be the first real gift il be getting her

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And I think it's perfect

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

Wait till your birthday

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

Just like one month

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I think

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🧍‍♀️

pliant dragon
#

BUT IM SCARED

unkempt shale
#

No idea

pliant dragon
#

IM SCARED

unkempt shale
#

How long is shipping?

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

How will I know it's there

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How will you know it's there

#

IL see

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

Kmg only 2-5 days

#

They claim

pliant dragon
#

I WAS NEVER AT POST OFFICE

pliant dragon
#

do you have

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uhm

#

smth like

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It’s like an automated locker system where couriers deliver parcels, customers receive a code and can collect their package from the locker 24/7

unkempt shale
#

Bro

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It has to be like max 200 grams

quartz condor
#

doesnt the post office just dm you?

unkempt shale
#

I gotta weight what I wanna send

unkempt shale
#

So how will they know it's for nadia

unkempt shale
quartz condor
#

at her house

unkempt shale
#

The thing I wanna send is atleast 100

unkempt shale
quartz condor
#

or you can just, let her know yourself if its a post office

pliant dragon
#

theyre dont dming you

#

there are working old ladies with no idea what they’re doing there

quartz condor
#

damn, well ur cooked i guess

pliant dragon
#

thats why im scared getting packages

unkempt shale
#

Bro

#

It's gonna cost me 10 euros

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

I was told 2

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Imma crash out

#

Il still probably do it tho

pliant dragon
quartz condor
#

speaking of gifts, one day i wanna gift myself of a 1 liter bottle of arak 🤑

#

anyways have fun bye bye 👋

unkempt shale
#

Okey imma just send the package in germany

#

It's cheaper

quartz condor
unkempt shale
#

I go to Germany like once a montg

#

So it's fine

quartz condor
unkempt shale
quartz condor
#

like 40% alcohol

#

its rly good soooo

#

yah

unkempt shale
#

In Albania I had a really strong shot

#

We first set it on fire

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Cuz it was my second shot and my mom was mad

#

So we had to get lost alchohol out

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Well let me tell you. I'm glad we burned some out cuz Jesus that was strong

unkempt shale
quartz condor
#

anise*

unkempt shale
unkempt shale
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Yeah

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Still 40% is kinda crazy

quartz condor
#

high alcohol concentration

quartz condor
#

and some others

unkempt shale
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Ew

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
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'Raki'

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Traditional Albania alchohol

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That has 40%

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The second one was more tho😭

unkempt shale
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Idk what's happening but for some reason I've been loosing weight so fast

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Like nice

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But how

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💀

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Cuz I genuinely nearly lost like 1 kilo in a day?

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(Same scale both the same clothes on)

unkempt shale
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My dad told his friends about me and nadia

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I just idk

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Kind of broke

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I'm not ready to tell everyone yet

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Idk why. It's not like I'm ashamed but it's just looked down on. Like it's with a girl. Long distance and online

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
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And I get it

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But idk

pliant dragon
cosmic pond
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i was sick tho, i had a virus but also if you weigh yourself in the morning, that's when you're the lightest

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and if you weigh yourself after peeing or pooping you are also lighter

quartz condor
cosmic pond
unkempt shale
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A few days later I got sick tho. I'm now loosing weight at the normal time😭

cosmic pond
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that is super weird then

unkempt shale
cosmic pond
unkempt shale
cosmic pond
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nevermind then..

unkempt shale
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Is that how being an adult feels like?

cosmic pond
#

telling not fun stories?

unkempt shale
cosmic pond
#

being an adult is having responsibilities like a job and taxes and stuffff

unkempt shale
cosmic pond
#

being an adult is mostly money stuff and maturityy

cosmic pond
#

people just get burnt out from their jobs

unkempt shale
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Being an adult means being with my girlfriend

cosmic pond
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and from loneliness and stress

unkempt shale
cosmic pond
#

yayyyy

unkempt shale
cosmic pond
#

but having a job you love is keyy

unkempt shale
cosmic pond
#

whats your dream jobb

unkempt shale
cosmic pond
unkempt shale
cosmic pond
cosmic pond
unkempt shale
unkempt shale
cosmic pond
cosmic pond
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or any police shows

unkempt shale
unkempt shale
cosmic pond
unkempt shale
cosmic pond
cosmic pond
unkempt shale
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It also makes me plan the perfect way

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For if I'd ever need it🤷🏼‍♀️

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For legal reasons this is a joke😔

unkempt shale
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I think

cosmic pond
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every true crime listener has planned out how they would get away with murderr

unkempt shale
cosmic pond
#

oops talia*

cosmic pond
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and the captain dying in season 1 was so crazyy

#

is season 3 when nolan gets framedd

unkempt shale
cosmic pond
unkempt shale
cosmic pond
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i still think about how nolan snapped his wrist to escape that looked like it hurt

unkempt shale
cosmic pond
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it was like 10 seconds before the captain got shot or yea

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because they were strapped to chairs

unkempt shale
cosmic pond
#

the episode that impacted me the most was when lucy got kidnapped i was so stressed

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and armstrong turning out to be evil was such a twistt

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rosalind dyer is kind of cool but scaryy

unkempt shale
unkempt shale
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||I feel safe when we FaceTime. I instantly get sleepy and just feel safe and happy. I wish we could do it every night tbh, just being on call doesn't always feel like enough and I hate it||

unkempt shale
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Today a lot happend and idk it feels like too much atm il sort it out

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But tomorrow I'm meeting my new psychologist (which i don't want) i still have some school work and stuff i need to sort out so it's just a little stressing ig

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
#

HIHI JUST GOT PART ONE OF HER PRESENT

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I'm so fucking exited

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Like I wanna just tell her what I'm getting her

quartz condor
unkempt shale
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But I will do it like 2-3 weeks before her birthday

quartz condor
#

something

#

idk

unkempt shale
quartz condor
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oh right thats illegal

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good luck though

unkempt shale
quartz condor
#

did u see nadias house

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in minecraft

unkempt shale
quartz condor
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wanna see it

unkempt shale
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I made it to team captain for hockey

#

Honestly so happy, I'm doing it with someone else and we're on the same line

#

(We both don't like our coach)

unkempt shale
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Part one of her present arrived today

#

Now I just need to do the last things

pliant dragon
#

im scared

unkempt shale
pliant dragon
unkempt shale
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I feel the need to rant

quartz condor
unkempt shale
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I feel so pissed

#

Like everything is just pissing me off atm

#

Like leave me the fuck alone

#

Ny dad has been bringing up my mental health everywhere

#

I sometimes wish to leave all that in the past and just never look back

#

He talked about it when my mentor was talking about school etuff

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Like dude stfu

#

No one cares that you're so glad I'm not suicidal anymore

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Like no one gives a single fuck

#

Today he was talking about how me talking to nadia about it but not with him would be bad

#

Like you're not gonna tell me what I do and what I don't communicate

#

Sometimes I would wish to just turn back time and not tell them anything

#

Honestly it was just a lot at once

#

There were multiple things that just pissed me off

#

I was talking to my mom about a taylor swift movie that will be in the cinema and my dad imidiatly went 'no' while my mom already agreed

#

And I talked about how I will bring my sister (because she's a swiftie) and my mom went 'oh yeah she also has a free movie thing' so I said 'oh great' and my dad just went 'no you cant misuse her' misuse her for what dude? Her own ticket?!

#

Like wtf

unkempt shale
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My dad got mad because 'I don't interact besides eith my phone' we've been walking around in the city all day I'm exausted so I have a lack of response. Sorry I can't be on 24/7

#

He was like 'il just put on screentime again' like okey?... won't change a thing but you do you I supose

unkempt shale
#

It hurts

#

I regret it but don't want to seem like a bitch by asking

quartz condor
unkempt shale
quartz condor
unkempt shale
#

Working on her present rn

#

So exited

pliant dragon
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
#

what is that

#

what do you think about this idea

unkempt shale
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That's why I tell people in dms

pliant dragon
#

…..

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……

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……..

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I see how it js

#

is

unkempt shale
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BHAHAHA

pliant dragon
#

STOPCYBERBULLINGNADS

unkempt shale
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They deleted my journal

#

🥲

#

Imagine

#

(It's my fsult)

unkempt shale
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I'm a little annoyed tbh

#

My dad and I go to Germany to shop groceries every once in a whilr

#

We do that together and it's kinda out thing ig

#

So we had made plans but it didn't go through

#

Oh well

#

Now we're going on Saturday. I asked if we couldn't go today because I have a hockey game on Saturday and they always leave me exausted + I probably don't want to go to Germany after the game

#

And he just went 'I'm exausted today so no'

#

Like okey we couldve just done another day?

#

Idc that it wasn't today but the way he totally ignored what I said?

#

Like okey I just won't go with you or something like wtf

#

And my sister and mom wanted to go (my mom didn't want to go at all???)

unkempt shale
unkempt shale
#

||today was absolutely shit, it started with a debate for school.
Then I had some other stuff that just went absolutely shit, I still feel down because of it and i just feel off idk, I feel horrible for feeling this way||

unkempt shale
#

I was a mess yesterday

#

I feel like I really fucked up

#

I hate that it happend at that moment

#

I couldve picked any day

unkempt shale
#

It happend again ig

quartz condor
unkempt shale
quartz condor
unkempt shale
quartz condor
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
#

SONG

#

THATS MY SONG

unkempt shale
#

I've finally started to come to peace that I love different

#

Idk why

#

For some reason I've never really had butterfly's

#

But I know that she's the one

#

In the beginning I was scared, that it was wrong how I loved. And maybe even fake. Like you hear everyone say 'omg I get butterfly's when he talks to me' etc. It made me feel like my love wasn't real

#

That I was manipulating myself

#

And recently I've came to peace with it.
I know that she is the one for me, that I do love her but different

#

I'm improving a lot, in ways I didn't think I could tbh

#

She gives me hope in ways I didn't expect

#

It's really strange still

#

But I wouldn't trade it for the world

quartz condor
unkempt shale
quartz condor
#

alright i gotta go back to studying

#

so bye

unkempt shale
quartz condor
unkempt shale
pliant dragon
#

im gonna steal eilish no1 from you

#

just saying

unkempt shale
#

These meds fuck with my eating habits so bad

#

I have to remind myself to eat properly

#

It's crazy ngl😭

#

I've also just been drinking water a lot which helps me feeling full for a bit longer

#

I make sure I eat properly tho

unkempt shale
#

I have to take the train alone at night today

#

I'm kinda anxious about it ngl

#

It sucks that I have to be nervous and alert on the train