#A journal off my life season 2
1 messages · Page 16 of 1
Wtf are you yapping about
(Not me having dopamine meds. And not knowing this)
im debunking your claim utilizing biology

or more exactly, neurochemistry
Shush you
why
You're explaining something to me
Chicken butt
Everything
it is the catalyst of humanity
Shut up
tempting
We both know it's hot
not at all
nope
it is
nope
billie is hot
.
Mother🛐
I lowkey need this on pfp somewhere
Sofia is also hot
broski just dont have taste
(I just have a thing for women that play guitar)
no one is better than lebron tho
Doesnt*
lebron is my goat
Ew
fuck
That's gay btw
but i wqs close
but its lebron
i always remember lebron when im sad
he's like a father figure
WATCH ME HIT A CLIP
Better look🛐
I never saw this abs
THAT WAS PERFECT
tbh
AHAHAHA
They're so pretty
Ong
And I don't normally love abs

y not
Huh
.
bro forgot about renee rapp
girl send her
OMG YES
exactly
(You're better)
Nah
but I dont want to fight
I do
I'm violent when I'm drunk
I'm violent when I'm sober too🙏
I'm usefull in a bar fight
Struggling with lyrics💀
HAHAHA
😭
Bro I'm seeing this live
-# dw love, same
I've also seen this thing live
Kiss it kiss it
I would've seen this one live too
YESS
I ENVY YOU SO BAD
LIKE OMG
YOU WAS LITERALLY ON EVERY CONCERT
Il call you during the song dw

trvth nvke
but like
if you want to
I dont mind
😛😛
I will😝
YAAYAYAYYAYAYA
YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYA
no comment
FUCK YEAH
thats lyrics ig
oh fr?
YEAH
Bros agreeing
what'd he say
He send this
IKR
wow
OMGGG
💀
.
Wierdo
my dream of being called lebron...
Huh
huh
Got it
FUCK YEAAAAAAH
how many you gonna collect gangalang
of what?
rene rap
bro this aint a lot
and got it for free
i also have a vinyl
true
cuz i can
bro
this one girl keeps like venting to me
im not even responding
havent responded in like 3 days
she keeps venting
today she talked about how she gets bullied by someone who is 4 years younger than her
bsfr

MY EXACT REACTION
like uhm..girl look, no responding is also anwser
rn shes talking
probably rantint about how im ignoreing her
like im sorry, but i dont care enough to spend the energy on you
i barely text my own girlfriend rn
stfu
''I know that it’s really your decision when to answer or talk to me but u never did it like that and you still keep posting stuff on Instagram or wherever.
It just feels bad but i think u know consequences''
yeah!
i do actually
when i spend too much energy on negative stuff in my life i get miserable
thank you very much
honestly i wanna say
NO RESPONDING IS ALSO ANWSER

WHAT
and i kept reconecting
now im just too tired to even try it
and now shes the one begging for me to come back ig
wierd how the tables have turned
so real omg
i feel the urge to lowkey just send it
its the nude girl
OH?
HELP YES
OH MY
nothing
there is a whole backstory behind this girl of like 3 years now
she was great
untill she wasnt
lit
fine, exausted asf tho
tomorrow last work day! after that 12 days of pure relaxation
lit
im uh
ye.

do it
OMG
TOMMOROW?
I KNOW
yk whats
crazy
mindblowing
flabbergasting
intresting
tell me
and a fact that will blow the rocks off of your socks
hmmm
okey than dont
LMAO
anyways im going light on the girl
on what
oh
and the last one idk
i thought u meant fornite
its called "summer"
OOOO
uhhh
and why
fall or winter cuz i can milsim freely but barely any breaks so no time
THIS IS SO REAL
ooooo
which apple
that eve ate

oh
it prolly tasted like a normal apple
honestly wasnt even that bad
SHHHHH
well hope it was the best one ever
cuz istg
uh
mayne
mayne
mayne
MAYBE
FUCK
no comment
so real
and childbirth
SHE MADE THAT PAINFULL
okay so my fav is obviously fall because i love walking in hoodies and just yk not too hot not too cold
IT COULDVE BEEN SO EASY
BUT NO
SHE HAD TO HAVE A APPLE
SHE HAD A WHOLE FUCKING GARDEN
BUT SHE NEEDED THAT
ONE
STUPID
APLE
ye that cool
i keep joining u on that game
I HOPE EVA THAT APPLE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD
idk why
.
HAHAHAH
im playing w my bsf
a lot
yk which ine
one
?
Like youre always joining when im playing with my friend
oh lmao
hahahahha
ye im special like that
funky man
im never saying that again
i apologize u had to read that
HAAHAHAHAHA
NADIA
ugh she pisses me off
i dont want to loose her, but honestly ugh
nahh im now telling her its her fault
(IT IS BTW)
(im not gaslighting
)
idk whos that but billie eilish
is that the one from fortnite
okay sorry
..
yes that one
feather of a birds
🔥🔥
feathers of a bird
you should listen to xanny
i told you i went bitch mode
thats my fav song
who
leave me alone bitch i wanna have fun
you
REAL
HELL YEAAH
im xanny?
on another note,
my friends joke im a drug dealer
,,hi''
eilish
cool
,,hello”
i can see the reseblense
or how you spell that
resembalance
i think
also wym bruh
i dont deal medication
-# ,,leave me alone bitch, i wanna have fun” in my mind while reading that
OH I DO
knowing shroom doses is normal
-# (joke i dont but i could)
it lowkey should be
why wait
for fun
your dream job and why
police agent, idk ask 6 year old me
she choose it not me
damn
let me make time machine
oo cool
i simp for 669 🤩
i lowkey want to have job around music idk: drummer, electric guitar(maybe but like 50/50), music producer
musical man and police agent
just to be around music
😎
dw im gonna force soph to have basement for recording studio
she dont have to know
oh.
whos gonna pay for all that
with what job
…
.

pretty job
....
…
you better make a few mil
HELP
mind you, we will also end up in jail
im willing to risk that
I just imagine like someone is coming to our house and someone is asking me where am I and sophie is answering dw in the basement

that sounds horrible
IM NOT?
like shes kidnapping me
''my girlfriend is in the basement, probably without her shirt''
you'll fineeee 👍
WHA-
why tf is the second part crucial-
cuz of how hard it is!
HOT
HOT
HOT
cuz like
uhm
shredding
and
drumming
will get sweaty
IH YEAH RIGHT
it just felt right simon.
.
So i have to lock basement
yes
BHAHAHA
bro im literally dying when im
playing on drum pad for practice
so im scared how thsts gonna be with real one
AND IN THE BASEMENT
IM GONNA
HAVE
SECRET
ROOM
FOR PLAYING
POKER
AND CASINO

yk i have to get money somehow
...
bruh
yk that hard
and the fact im right handed but my left hand is stronger than right
and im ranndomly dropping stick from my right hand
like idk how
so ur left handed
I am right-handed, but I have confirmed that one hemisphere of my brain tells me to do this some activity with the left hand and not the right one.
literally im opening bottles with left hand, sometimes im writing
thats really weird
but i have paper for that
today i was throwing ball in water by left hand because my right one is weak
mini fact about me
im typing rn with left hand too
you want me to send my left hand or what?😭
real
awesome
ikr
ik
idk*
@unkempt shale

youre still have bitchy mode on?
yk theres an israeli song abt small backpacks
i hate friendships
cuz they pretty much always end
and i never know if i want them to
i havent seen her as a friend in so long. its just wierd because last year i had a complete breakdown because she left me
and now
im not sure how i feel.
i feel sad, but its not in a way id expect idk
If friendship is true, it will never end
thats not true tho
ypu didnt seen her so long and she broke friendship? sorry I cant get it correctly
we havent been talking a lot, we used to call daily. that got like weekly. then i started seeing you and the calls stopped pretty much. we also just didnt text a lot cuz she blocked me some times for like no reason and yeah
thats weird because she blocked you for no reason like what the hell??? you should also spend time w ur friends sophie
but I mean ofc if you want to spend time w them
lowkey didnt feel like calling with her so its fine
and she blocked me cuz i forgot her b-day by 2 days
(my friends know thats impressive cuz normally i just forget them fully)
wait you was talking about it here before?
i got deja vu
and idk
idk might be
Oh I get it but still, im so sorry to hear that because you lost your friend
nice of her
yea
but at least she understands
understands what?
like situation yk
I know what I want to say just not how to say it
I hate this
I hate th flashbacks
The urges
The overthinking
I wish I was normal
I wish I could call her rn
Which is wierd cuz I declined the call
I fucked up so bad
thats okay to feel that way
I'm so exhausted ngl. I sleep at 1 am get up at 8.30. Idk I just want one night where I don't do anything. Just in my room etc
you should ask your parents about that
Nah
why not, im pretty theyre gonna understand
They wont
you can try soph
Not really worth it
you have 50/50
Yeah no
but you tried your best for her
thats important because you tried
even if thats didnt go well
Have a stupid headache
I feel the need to vent but idk about what and it's so wierd
you tried painkillers?
are you sure?
Yep
Okayy
My parents irritate me so bad tn
Rn
We're on vacation, we planned that today was a beach day
And then last moment they decide to go somewhere else? I've communicated multiple times that I prefer to just keep doing what we planned so that I know what to mentally prepare for
Then we went back to our hotel rooms and I asked them what time we will go. (I've conunicated before that I hate it when I don't have a proper time because I just don't know how long I can take etc) and then they say. 'Just get ready and we will go'
Like they ignore everything I tell them?
And then they wonder why I never tell them something
It's such a small issue that can be handled so quickly but it just ruins it so bad for me
I know it ruins your mood right now, but it’s not your fault, they should really pay more attention to what you say. Maybe in the evening you’ll get a chance to relax a bit and find your peace❤️
It happend again, amazing
This time it was us going out for dinner
We planned 7:30
And my parents just came in (obv 25 too early) and said 'were done you guys also are cuz then we can just go rn'
I was startled and honestly a bit annoyed at it cuz like the fuck?
And I just like idk. I'm bad at hiding emotions so it showed
And my sister was also against it
We agreed again on 7:30
And then I just got even more annoyed in my head cuz like make up your mind or something
My mom was like 'yeah we can go right now, but 7:30 is also fine' and she kept insisting
And I just heard ny dad said 'jesus' under his breath
Like you fucking know I handle changes like these bad
So why shame me for your useless communication
That really sounds frustrating love. You had a clear plan and then suddenly everything changed without warning, no wonder it annoyed you. I get that it’s hard to react calmly when people know that sudden changes are tough for you. You shouldn’t feel guilty for needing predictability.❤️
I've been eating less. It's hot so I already do from nature. But idk I've been eating even less, started to kinda count my calories today idk. Kinda want to loose weight
I get that, hot weather always makes me less hungry too. Just be careful with eating too little though, your body still needs energy. Losing weight’s fine if you want to, but make sure you do it in a healthy way.🫶
I feel so fat
Sophie, I’m really sorry you feel this way but please remember, you are not fat. Those are just negative thoughts trying to trick you, not the truth about who you are. You’re a beautiful and valuable person. I really admire that even in such hard moments you can say ‘I won’t tho’. That’s real strength and shows how much you’re fighting. And please don’t forget, you’re not alone in this. If you ever feel worse or just need to talk, you can always dm me❤️❤️
I wish I could just disappear
Today I woke up at 10 for meds
Couldn't sleep after but whatever
I did some stuff and went to my hockeyclub yo get my shirt
Then went home, ate something and started to clean my room
Prepare my school bag
I didn't finish my room but whatever
Then this night I'm just anxious. School is starting soon which just makes me anxious and stressed already
I haven't eaten sinc
No one comes to check up and asks how I am or something
Haven't gone downstairs
But okey
Theb my mom comes in my room 'why haven't you unpacked your suitcase yet? You haven't done anything all day'
Like okey thanks
Just had a breakdown but it's not like they cate
I'm so done
I’m really sorry you feel this way… Sharing your emotions like this already shows a lot of strength. Anxiety and stress can be so overwhelming, especially with school coming up. I get that you feel unseen, but I want you to know that what you’re going through matters and you matter. It might feel like no one notices you, but I do, you’re important to me and I see you.❤️ You don’t need to prove your worth by how much you get done in a day. The fact that you made it through today is already a big thing. Sometimes just surviving the day takes so much strength. I’m here if you need someone to listen. You’re not alone in this.❤️
You dont have to anwser that Sophie. I just want you to know that
I can do the present I want to give her🙂↕️
Just confirmed with my mom
I'm so exited tbh
It will be the first real gift il be getting her
And I think it's perfect
TELL ME WHAT
….
BUT IM SCARED
No idea
IM SCARED
How long is shipping?
IDK-
I WAS NEVER AT POST OFFICE
Or
do you have
uhm
smth like
It’s like an automated locker system where couriers deliver parcels, customers receive a code and can collect their package from the locker 24/7

doesnt the post office just dm you?
I gotta weight what I wanna send
Yeah but don't I just have to slap the adrsss on there for the post point?
So how will they know it's for nadia
Nvm max 20 grams
The thing I wanna send is atleast 100
No
or you can just, let her know yourself if its a post office
They dont care tho
theyre dont dming you
there are working old ladies with no idea what they’re doing there
damn, well ur cooked i guess
IKR

thats why im scared getting packages


speaking of gifts, one day i wanna gift myself of a 1 liter bottle of arak 🤑
anyways have fun bye bye 👋
you're gonna go to germany in order to ship it?
What is that
Yes
I go to Germany like once a montg
So it's fine
its like a levantian alcoholic drink
Ohh
That's nice
In Albania I had a really strong shot
We first set it on fire
Cuz it was my second shot and my mom was mad
So we had to get lost alchohol out
Well let me tell you. I'm glad we burned some out cuz Jesus that was strong
I doubt it with 40%
40-80 is literally how you make anis alcohol
anise*
Idk what that is but still
its like a strong feel/flavour of anise, the seed/plant
high alcohol concentration
Yes I know
and some others
Ew
hell yeah
I found what it is
'Raki'
Traditional Albania alchohol
That has 40%
The second one was more tho😭
Idk what's happening but for some reason I've been loosing weight so fast
Like nice
But how
💀
Cuz I genuinely nearly lost like 1 kilo in a day?
(Same scale both the same clothes on)
My dad told his friends about me and nadia
I just idk
Kind of broke
I'm not ready to tell everyone yet
Idk why. It's not like I'm ashamed but it's just looked down on. Like it's with a girl. Long distance and online
why he didnt asked you
good hes proud but he still should ask you
Ig
omg that happened to me once
i was sick tho, i had a virus but also if you weigh yourself in the morning, that's when you're the lightest
and if you weigh yourself after peeing or pooping you are also lighter
by like a couple grams at most
yeaa
I was weighing through the day tho. And both weights were at the same time yk
A few days later I got sick tho. I'm now loosing weight at the normal time😭
ohhh
that is super weird then
Yeah, but I gained the weight back after I got sick so it might have been just that
at least you can tell people about itt
Me loosing weight isn't really a fun story😔
telling not fun stories?
Yes
being an adult is having responsibilities like a job and taxes and stuffff
Lowkey doesn't sound bad still
being an adult is mostly money stuff and maturityy
yeaa
people just get burnt out from their jobs
Being an adult means being with my girlfriend
and from loneliness and stress
yayyyy
That's cuz they don't have a fun job
truee but people can get burnt out from their fun jobs too if it gets too stressfulll
but having a job you love is keyy
Frr
whats your dream jobb
K9 officer, wbu?
omg thats so cool like you work with dogs?
Yes, police force with dogs
like a photographer or a therapist idk lol
thats epic
Ohh love that!
Ikr
thanks 🥹
IM CURRENTLY BINGE WATCHING THAT
I've mainly watched true crime
omgggg i love the rookie
Same it's so good
true crime is so entertainingg (idk if this is unhealthy or not)
what season r u on
It lowkey is
It also makes me plan the perfect way
For if I'd ever need it🤷🏼♀️
For legal reasons this is a joke😔
lolll reall
every true crime listener has planned out how they would get away with murderr
Just checked it's season 3
For real
oooo i was so sad when tahlia left like after season one her character was gone :')
oops talia*
Reall
Omg i cried
aww 😭
Wasn't that season 2? Oh no wait it was end season 2 and beginning season 3
i still think about how nolan snapped his wrist to escape that looked like it hurt
yaa
Don't remember that part tbh
it was like 10 seconds before the captain got shot or yea
because they were strapped to chairs
Ohhh
the episode that impacted me the most was when lucy got kidnapped i was so stressed
and armstrong turning out to be evil was such a twistt
rosalind dyer is kind of cool but scaryy
No cuz fr
||I feel safe when we FaceTime. I instantly get sleepy and just feel safe and happy. I wish we could do it every night tbh, just being on call doesn't always feel like enough and I hate it||
Today a lot happend and idk it feels like too much atm il sort it out
But tomorrow I'm meeting my new psychologist (which i don't want) i still have some school work and stuff i need to sort out so it's just a little stressing ig
Changing to a new psychologist can definitely feel stressful, it makes sense you don’t really want that. But maybe it could turn out better than you expect. And don’t worry about having everything sorted at once, just take it step by step love, im here for you❤️
HIHI JUST GOT PART ONE OF HER PRESENT
I'm so fucking exited
Like I wanna just tell her what I'm getting her
did u actually manage to ship it
Not yet
But I will do it like 2-3 weeks before her birthday
..
Thankss
No
I made it to team captain for hockey
Honestly so happy, I'm doing it with someone else and we're on the same line
(We both don't like our coach)
You'll love it
im scaree
I feel the need to rant
rant
I feel so pissed
Like everything is just pissing me off atm
Like leave me the fuck alone
Ny dad has been bringing up my mental health everywhere
I sometimes wish to leave all that in the past and just never look back
He talked about it when my mentor was talking about school etuff
Like dude stfu
No one cares that you're so glad I'm not suicidal anymore
Like no one gives a single fuck
Today he was talking about how me talking to nadia about it but not with him would be bad
Like you're not gonna tell me what I do and what I don't communicate
Sometimes I would wish to just turn back time and not tell them anything
Honestly it was just a lot at once
There were multiple things that just pissed me off
I was talking to my mom about a taylor swift movie that will be in the cinema and my dad imidiatly went 'no' while my mom already agreed
And I talked about how I will bring my sister (because she's a swiftie) and my mom went 'oh yeah she also has a free movie thing' so I said 'oh great' and my dad just went 'no you cant misuse her' misuse her for what dude? Her own ticket?!
Like wtf
My dad got mad because 'I don't interact besides eith my phone' we've been walking around in the city all day I'm exausted so I have a lack of response. Sorry I can't be on 24/7
He was like 'il just put on screentime again' like okey?... won't change a thing but you do you I supose
wanna talk abt it?
There wasn't to much to talk about, but thanks
alright, just know that if u wanna talk, im here
BHAHAHA
maybe wanna tell everybody
what is that
what do you think about this idea
….
…..
……
……..
I see how it js
is
BHAHAHA
STOPCYBERBULLINGNADS
I'm a little annoyed tbh
My dad and I go to Germany to shop groceries every once in a whilr
We do that together and it's kinda out thing ig
So we had made plans but it didn't go through
Oh well
Now we're going on Saturday. I asked if we couldn't go today because I have a hockey game on Saturday and they always leave me exausted + I probably don't want to go to Germany after the game
And he just went 'I'm exausted today so no'
Like okey we couldve just done another day?
Idc that it wasn't today but the way he totally ignored what I said?
Like okey I just won't go with you or something like wtf
And my sister and mom wanted to go (my mom didn't want to go at all???)
||today was absolutely shit, it started with a debate for school.
Then I had some other stuff that just went absolutely shit, I still feel down because of it and i just feel off idk, I feel horrible for feeling this way||
I was a mess yesterday
I feel like I really fucked up
I hate that it happend at that moment
I couldve picked any day
It happend again ig
wanna talk about it?
It's a lot ngl
you can take your time, i dont mind either way
I might dm later
alright, ill be looking out till then
I've finally started to come to peace that I love different
Idk why
For some reason I've never really had butterfly's
But I know that she's the one
In the beginning I was scared, that it was wrong how I loved. And maybe even fake. Like you hear everyone say 'omg I get butterfly's when he talks to me' etc. It made me feel like my love wasn't real
That I was manipulating myself
And recently I've came to peace with it.
I know that she is the one for me, that I do love her but different
I'm improving a lot, in ways I didn't think I could tbh
She gives me hope in ways I didn't expect
It's really strange still
But I wouldn't trade it for the world
thats awesome
It really is
Goodluck
ty
Got a setup upgrade!
I LOVE IT ASF
im gonna steal eilish no1 from you
just saying
