idk how I feel about it

[sullen frigate]

Been in a relationship for a few months and idk if it’s paranoia from my last relationship but I’m anxious about not acting too interested of being too clingy as I know it’s a turn off. But it’s just part of my personality to be aware of the other person and want to talk and spend time with them, it’s how I maintain the relationship. But they’re busy often and don’t text first or ask to hang out. I feel like I’m 10 times more aware and considerate of being kind, sending good morning texts or goodnight, making gifts, being sweet. It just feels like they don’t care and idk what to do.
I’m also not sure if the relationship is what I’m looking for, they’re not as similar to me as I’d like and idk if it’s worth staying in the relationship.

[sullen frigate]

I’d really appreciate any advice

[main veldt]

i get thatt

i'm a very clingy person and i get attached too

and it's hurtful not to be clingy and attached to ur partner cause then they feel bad (if they love u and care for u)

[main veldt]

i hate when our SO is busy omg, i really get that

i get the texting thing too

[main veldt]

i get u sm really, i recently had a breakup 2 days ago around the same reason

[main veldt]

if u feel like u don't feel happy in the relationship, then u should leave

because the person we love if someone we choose over and over again everyday

it's someone we choose to love everyday and fall more in love w them everyday

rather than falling mroe and more out of love

if they aren't making u happy, then u shouldn't stay

u'll find someone better, someone who's just like u

and cares for u, and loves u

and truly gets you

[main veldt]

heyy, i'm here

[sullen frigate]

Hey

[main veldt]

hello

[sullen frigate]

Is it still worth the experience though?

[main veldt]

which one, ur current relationship?

[sullen frigate]

Or waiting to see if it changes over time because it hasn’t been too long

Yea

[main veldt]

girl trust me, the longer u stay

the worse it's gonna be

to move on and breakup

[main veldt]

people

don't

change.

no matter what

they don't

they'll say they will, they'll promise they will

but they are who they are

and that's not going to change

you'll often be in love with the idea of them

and i get that

[sullen frigate]

I just don’t know if they’re busy now and will have more time for me later yk

Cuz they were a little better before

But

[main veldt]

do they have any other red flags?

what are they busy doing?

how come they don't find time at all for you?

[sullen frigate]

Nothing crazy mainly working

[sullen frigate]

I don’t know, they don’t explain because I don’t wanna be annoying and ask

I assume they just don’t think to text or ask how I’m doing or anything

Like they don’t care enough

[main veldt]

um

[main veldt]

they should have an explaination

really

and u should ask

it's not annopying

u deserve to know

[main veldt]

well that's wrong

when u love someone, they're always on ur mind

and if they love u

u should be on their mind

[sullen frigate]

That’s a good point honestly

[main veldt]

yeah

[sullen frigate]

That kinda makes me sad 🥲

[main veldt]

it is very sad unfortunately

but sometimes

[sullen frigate]

They might not love me then

[main veldt]

people just aren't emant to stay

[main veldt]

yeah...

that happened w me like 2 days ago

i still am going through the breakup phase

lol

[sullen frigate]

I’m sorry that’s hard

[main veldt]

i can help u

[main veldt]

it's okay

we can heal together :)

and help

[sullen frigate]

That’s sweet of you :)

Thank you

[main veldt]

anytimeee

[main veldt]

.

[sullen frigate]

I’ve got adhd so I think I notice a lot and get anxious and worry about the situation more 🥲

[main veldt]

omg

[sullen frigate]

And overthink it

[main veldt]

i understand ADHD

i'm a psychology student

one of my exes had ADHD too

i feel u, it's okay

i get what u mean

i have undiagnosed OCD, so i'm also very anxious and tend to overthink a lot

[sullen frigate]

It’s kinda rough sometimes, it doesn’t match it my personality

[main veldt]

anxious attachment style

[sullen frigate]

Yeah

[main veldt]

yeahh, it can be really really hard

i get that

[sullen frigate]

I’m a very caring and others first kind of person which makes me hyper aware of little things that other people do and pick up on vibes early

[main veldt]

omg same

literally

[sullen frigate]

But I throw myself under the bus 🥲

[main veldt]

awh no

don't do that man

being a people pleaser isn't good anymore

people will use u

[sullen frigate]

I know but I feel like I need to find someone who won’t

Because I can’t change it it’s part of my personality caring about others a lot

[main veldt]

i feel u

[sullen frigate]

I feel selfish any other way

[main veldt]

i want the same honestly

lol

i'm similar like u

[main veldt]

oh

but it's not selfish

to love urself

[sullen frigate]

It feels that way to me

Idk why

[main veldt]

oh

[sullen frigate]

Not if other people do

Just myself

[gritty peak]

Are you male or female

The advice differs

[sullen frigate]

Make

Male*

[gritty peak]

Shiet dude

Yeah tone it down

Some women like clingy guys but most don’t

Ideally, your position is supposed to be the rigid one

The one she’s supposed to be able to lean on

Making yourself clingy kinda debases that by making you look dependent on her

You can still take an interest without being clingy

Like ask questions like what she’s doing or how she’s doing etc etc

But you got plenty of shit to do in your own time, so really the way I see it, unless you’re going out of your way to cling to her then you’re not clingy

You just like spending time with her

But do keep in mind that even if you have free time it’s healthy to take breaks from one another

[sullen frigate]

Thanks man :)