I’m not gonna lie, my depression is 10x worse than what is was when I was 18 I’m 19 now and I’m contemplating on ending it all cause I just don’t see the reason to keep going, I’m inferior and no I don’t mean feel inferior I barely feel any emotions at this point it’s like I’m breaking down but the emotion quickly fades I know this is a natural reaction to everything but it’s just getting me frustrated I’m mad at this world I hate seeing other people happy knowing damn well I won’t have genuine happiness and finding love at this point I wish I didn’t care and had something I could lock in with but I lost interest in everything I’m just existing at this point I’ve been cutting my wrist but the blade I have barely goes deep so I can’t even get a sense of relief. at this point I can’t even cry and my voices tell me go to god but i can’t express how much I hate the idea of going to someone to give all my love and faith while I’m breaking down. I hate myself and sense I was little I’ve been in this dark space and I don’t mean just depressed i mean fantasy’s of homicide because I want validation because of my childhood negligence I understand that I’m depressed that I have low self esteem and ect but my low self esteem has turned into negative self talk I’m always telling myself I’m not enough and no at this point no words of encouragement help I hate hearing positive stuff like a flame sparks goes off when I get mad. I don’t wanna be in this world no more only reason I haven’t killed myself is because I believe hell is real at this point i wish I didn’t come to exist and that’s the rebellion I’ve put against god so yeah I fucking hate him. I got so much to say but I’m disorganized so idk
#Am I cooked?
steady light
Ur numb. U have no reason to live. And it's normal to be that mad at the world. I'm that mad at the world. But to not be numb all the time. U have to find something that makes life worth living. U have to find something and ik that fucking hard. I haven't really found something. But u need to find something. Something that u can look forward to. Something that gives you hope @jovial girder
twilit sail
Ur numb. U have no reason to live. And it's normal to be that mad at the world. ...
Yk I’m not gonna lie and not to be weird but I was talking to this who flirted with me and told me live for her so I did and yesterday I found out the girl doesn’t even want a relationship. It was the only person who was shorter then me and said she wanted me for me
I hate females Istfg
I blocked her on everything I’m done dating so at this point I’ll probably go homeless and start using drugs cause I can’t do it at my parents house
But when it comes to relationships I’m fucking too many girls flirt with people but don’t want a relationship