Oculus’s Journal/Venting | The Therapy Center | Page 2

uneven zinc Jan 5, 2025, 3:56 AM

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anyway it went like this graph

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crazy

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First off, I gotten gray hair, I didnt celebrate my last day of elementary school, gotten covid (multiple times), gone coocoo bananas, and its hard to keep up feeling happy

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the world just got depressing ya know?

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oh shit is it saturday already?

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I got school on tuesday

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I dont wanna meet my friends

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or my partner in relationship

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I dont wanna say its their fault of one of my reason to be depressed rn but I cant deny the fact that their negativity is bringing me down

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I tried everything to help them but they dont try to take the advice

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they try not to solve the problem and rant their problems in my face even when im giving them solutions

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and some of those problems are what everyone else also feels

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like how they dont wanna go to school or they wanna be home rn

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they also conplain about wanting to meet their bf/gf

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like just meet/call/text them after school

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its not that hard

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they be like “but they’re in another school” like cmon theres internet for a reason

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their jokes arent even funny anymore im sorry if im being rude but their jokes are annoying and the same

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its like those gen alpha ones and not only that, they stick out their tongue to show their “freakiness”

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This generation just sucks

empty glen Jan 5, 2025, 4:08 AM

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Love you man.

uneven zinc Jan 5, 2025, 4:08 AM

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Love you too, fish

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how you been doing?

empty glen Jan 5, 2025, 4:09 AM

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I should be feeling sad but I don’t tbh I’m doing okay which makes me feel guilty I don’t feel like I should be happy, I am really anxious tho

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Which is normal for me.

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I have good days and then I have bad days so I’m probably just gonna feel like shit soon.

uneven zinc Jan 5, 2025, 4:10 AM

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Dont feel guilty of being happy

empty glen Jan 5, 2025, 4:10 AM

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I try not to

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I just pray that everything’s going to be okay one day and I hope it will stay that way for at least a little while.

uneven zinc Jan 5, 2025, 4:12 AM

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You got this buddy. Going through hard times now is better than later

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I mean like it’ll be better soon, I promise

empty glen Jan 5, 2025, 4:13 AM

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Thank you man I wish you the very best in this game of life.

uneven zinc Jan 5, 2025, 4:13 AM

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Thanks, wishing you the best too

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Im here if you need me btw

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im always listening

uneven zinc Jan 5, 2025, 4:45 PM

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Bro I had a nightmare 😭

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I had a dream where I was just peacefully walking around in some part of a random town and then a gas bomb fell down distance away and whats even worse, it felt like being one of the world wars where we were being captured and dying

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woke up when my family made some loud noise

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and for some reason, my phone was playing summertime sadness by lana del rey

balmy raven Jan 5, 2025, 5:54 PM

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bruh

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that's...

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interesting

uneven zinc Jan 5, 2025, 6:38 PM

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which one

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the song?

balmy raven Jan 5, 2025, 7:43 PM

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umm

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the dream

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waking up and

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yeah

uneven zinc Jan 5, 2025, 8:26 PM

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oh

balmy raven Jan 5, 2025, 8:33 PM

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but like

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how are you today man?

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ive got to go now, but just so you ask how im doing, im mediocre (:

uneven zinc Jan 5, 2025, 8:36 PM

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watching mod psych 100

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making my mind slip off from reality a bit

uneven zinc Jan 6, 2025, 3:35 AM

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I am disgusting as shit rn

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I havent taken shower for 3~4 days now and havent brushed my teeth for 2 days because of how I dont feel to do antthing

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school is the day after tomorrow

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I am going to do terrible for how unprepared i am

uneven zinc Jan 6, 2025, 6:51 AM

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I wanna brush my teeth rn so bad and yet I have this feeling of needing to do it when my siblings are sleeping

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and this habit just later makes me go to sleep without brushing my teeth again

empty glen Jan 6, 2025, 6:54 AM

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I’m so fucking unhygienic it’s wild your good man just don’t stress it.

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Everything’s planned trust me.

uneven zinc Jan 6, 2025, 6:55 AM

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gotta feel like fixing myself before school starts

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and my dad would be leaving the state tomorrow

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to like new jersey for a week and i cant handle the amount of pressure i be having with my mom and my 2 younger siblings at home

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also chat, please make sure your brainrotted friend dont takes your phone otherwise they’ll probably spam tons of chicken monkey

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i gotta delete all of these from my phone cause they affect my iphone storage

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my rib hurt again lmao

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aughhh nooo

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its every night now

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i might be as well awake the entire night

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cant really get my mind off on those g-worded stuff and crime scene cleanup

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you know what it feels to drown?

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I almost drowned once while panicking that I was drowning in the pool

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I remember swallowing lots of water and that it will burn your lungs

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now I didnt it to far where my entire body would be feeling like its on fire and other stuff like that but it will set your mind off

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but drowning is one of the worst ways to die

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wait what am i saying at this point of hour

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how is my phone not charging when its charging

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it goes from [17⚡️]- to like [14⚡️]-

uneven zinc Jan 6, 2025, 8:26 AM

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Epic news

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found new charger

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good news, found melatonin supplements

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uhh so far no bad news

uneven zinc Jan 6, 2025, 3:13 PM

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and bad news i slept without brushing my teeth again

uneven zinc Jan 6, 2025, 5:38 PM

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Man we were driving to walmart and all we see is truck being on fire with smoke coming out of its container

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On the highway

uneven zinc Jan 6, 2025, 7:17 PM

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I got 12 packs of unopen coffee cans slamming into my middle finger while i had a trash can lid open to throw away leftovers

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i got it bandaged but i will be doing the offensive hand sign just tryna close my hands

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uneven zinc Jan 6, 2025, 7:49 PM

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why my palms bigger? its because i was holding my phone in a weird way

uneven zinc Jan 6, 2025, 11:15 PM

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I feel like the only reason why you dont really feel the joy you have in jobs is because of how you been constantly doing the same stuff over and over again for years for something you dont want to do anymore

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its like you’re waiting for a change to happen

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something new and excited that you have been wanting to do

uneven zinc Jan 7, 2025, 4:35 AM

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I realized I have no experience with having a job yet i am overthinking bout them

fiery lion Jan 7, 2025, 10:32 AM

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uneven zinc I realized I have no experience with having a job yet i am overthinking bout the...

Awhh sameeeee

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Im lowky starting a business at 14 (ahh im so cool then i realize im only making like 600k idr a month (which isnt even enough to live for a month))

uneven zinc Jan 7, 2025, 11:42 AM

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wow

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whats the product you been selling?

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shoot i have school today

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goodbye good sleep cycles

uneven zinc Jan 7, 2025, 12:20 PM

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wait i never told this before but I ran away from my family for like 15 minutes yesterday. Told my brother I’ll find mom and go for a walk with her but i just went to the other way

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not gonna lie, it was the most peaceful 15 minutes in my life

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just alone in the darkness under the street light

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then I just got worried that my parents would find out and call the cops on me so ran straight back home

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so um

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yea i actually got nothing to say

uneven zinc Jan 7, 2025, 10:01 PM

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Back at school

uneven zinc Jan 8, 2025, 2:49 AM

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bro I cant describe it anymore with my friends

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ive grown separate with them

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all i hear is just negative words flowing out of their mouth and into my ears

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i dont feel joy with them

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just negativity

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i feel like they’re annoyed by me too

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and feeling like they’re talking behind my back

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One of them tells me how constantly they’re in good relationship in front of me on purpose while im struggling to keep myself and everything around me together

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Im not jealous of them

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but it feels like they’re taunting me

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Tried to help someone whos struggling to keep up with their life, like me, they told me I sounded arrogant

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All i just told them that maybe they should look into the light more, the future that they want. That they aint alone. Yet they sounded displeased

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Do I sound arrogant?

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Idk if I do sound arrogant myself

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maybe thats why people hate me probably

uneven zinc Jan 8, 2025, 4:12 AM

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I POPPED MY MIDDLE FINGER 😭

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IT STINGS

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I TRIED TO TAKE OFF THE BANDAGE OFF AND GOT IRRITATED OF HOW THE SCISSOR WOULDNT CUT SO I PULLED ON IT

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MY FINGER LOOKS LIKE A BLUEBERRY

uneven zinc Jan 8, 2025, 7:15 AM

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Has school traumatized you so bad that you been constantly been waking up in the middle of the night being anxious of seeing if there is missing homework?

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I did

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i used to stay awake 2~3 times a week/month the entire night back in freshman year

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dont worry, i only stay awake once a day atleast

uneven zinc Jan 8, 2025, 7:45 AM

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if I were to type out song lyrics in here, would that be considered as advertising?

uneven zinc Jan 8, 2025, 10:35 PM

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I am no longer in a relationship

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not sure whether to be happy or sad

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I am kind of relieved where i had been stressed out with the relationship and they doesnt really much talk to me anymore

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I didnt tell them that we should break up, but i may broken their heart

sly vault Jan 8, 2025, 11:17 PM

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hey

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@uneven zinc

uneven zinc Jan 8, 2025, 11:25 PM

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yea?

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sorry for being late a bit, in HOSA meeting rn

sly vault Jan 8, 2025, 11:39 PM

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hosa?

uneven zinc Jan 8, 2025, 11:43 PM

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Health Occupations Students of America

sly vault Jan 8, 2025, 11:52 PM

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idk that but

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i admire your journal

uneven zinc Jan 8, 2025, 11:56 PM

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Thank you!

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It actually make me happy that someone actually reads and responds/comments on the journal

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thank you so much

sly vault Jan 8, 2025, 11:58 PM

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your welcome

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keep writing them try on paper too to look back on them

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looking at someone elses life feels a bit theraputic at times

uneven zinc Jan 9, 2025, 12:00 AM

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I’ll try to that. Thank you for the suggestion

sly vault Jan 9, 2025, 12:04 AM

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the post about drowning

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i felt that

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one of my favorite places ever is the ocean though i would be fine if i died drowning

uneven zinc Jan 9, 2025, 12:07 AM

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I love the ocean

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yet I dont wanna die from the ocean 😅

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So did you almost drown in the ocean?

sly vault Jan 9, 2025, 12:09 AM

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no not really i cant swim though

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my dad through me in to learn a few times but i never feared drowing

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god i miss those days with my dad in the ocean as achild

uneven zinc Jan 9, 2025, 12:15 AM

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are you unable to go to the ocean?

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sorry if its like an offensive question

sly vault Jan 9, 2025, 12:23 AM

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uneven zinc sorry if its like an offensive question

no no its fine

sly vault Jan 9, 2025, 12:24 AM

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uneven zinc are you unable to go to the ocean?

i dont live near one, but whenever i do visit i prefer to be alone.

uneven zinc Jan 9, 2025, 12:26 AM

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I do hope you get to go to the ocean again very soon

sly vault Jan 9, 2025, 12:28 AM

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same

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what made you start this journal

uneven zinc Jan 9, 2025, 4:12 AM

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I just got depressed and needed to get my thoughts feelings out on something

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Usually I talked to the counselor but they didnt understand what I was saying so I just start creating a journal

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Just to let things out after keeping it inside too long

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I gotten busy earlier so I didnt have time to check back on my phone my bad

uneven zinc Jan 9, 2025, 11:45 AM

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Im back to waking up at 3-4 am again

fiery lion Jan 9, 2025, 4:20 PM

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Haiyahhh how you doing?

uneven zinc Jan 9, 2025, 10:15 PM

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I feel tired and bit gloomy

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just finished school rn

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how about you?

uneven zinc Jan 10, 2025, 2:01 AM

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I tried out one of those sugarfina gummies thats been expired

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the peach bellini tastes so good

uneven zinc Jan 10, 2025, 3:50 AM

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depression hit me so hard rn

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i had cert testing tomorrow yet its postponed

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I worked so hard

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“it is postponed due to nforeseen circumstances”

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how I got to do algebra homework 😭

fiery lion Jan 10, 2025, 7:59 AM

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uneven zinc how about you?

I see

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School sucks for me toooo

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But

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When i get home idk what to do

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I skipped school today T^T

uneven zinc Jan 10, 2025, 11:23 AM

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oh

uneven zinc Jan 11, 2025, 3:04 AM

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crap i cut my leg

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the cut aint deep but its like atleast the size of my pointer finger

uneven zinc Jan 11, 2025, 4:01 AM

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uneven zinc oh

not gonna lie, i dont recall being on discord today

uneven zinc Jan 11, 2025, 7:37 AM

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I might quit journaling. I am not doing good to be journaling much for the past few days

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I cant get rid of intrusive, negative thoughts I constantly have

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I try to distract myself to stop thinking about it but it wont go away

kindred violet Jan 11, 2025, 9:17 AM

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Send me a dm

uneven zinc Jan 12, 2025, 9:24 PM

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welp, forgotten to make a journal yesterday

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so tomorrow ima need to bring my egg tomorrow

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for an experiment

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and i thought it would be funny if I made the man face from roblox

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took me an hour

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result:

fiery lion Jan 13, 2025, 5:55 AM

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uneven zinc crap i cut my leg

Damn

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Ive cut in the past before

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Literally cuz of DDLC

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Anyways you doing ok?

uneven zinc Jan 13, 2025, 10:13 PM

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Havent felt nice today

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now I think my friends actually hate me for some reason

fiery lion Jan 14, 2025, 2:26 AM

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Awh

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I felt that too once

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Aslong as you love yourself nobody else matters

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^.^

uneven zinc Jan 14, 2025, 5:14 AM

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Its just that I been friends with this one particular friend for 7 years now and she keeps gossiping to her other friends about me behind her back. Now I try to have certain friendship with other friends and now im just ruining everything. I dragged my other friends into this mess

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I cant motivate myself anymore to do anything. Been procrastinating with everything and been off in the zone lot more frequently

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Dad’s off to Cali this time and have to do everything at home again

uneven zinc Jan 15, 2025, 4:26 AM

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I created an enemy today

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I gave their score a 4/14 due to the fact they were missing key points

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they did not like it

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plus I asked the teacher, he told me to give them 1.5 points on one of the question

uneven zinc Jan 15, 2025, 9:01 AM

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my assignment is late rn

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im either too depressed to do it or just too lazy

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idk but the assignment is just late at this point

fiery lion Jan 15, 2025, 12:04 PM

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Hm

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I kinda feel like my friends hate me as well now

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Im the class leader but im too useless to do anything yet

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Im gonna not feel anything now

uneven zinc Jan 16, 2025, 12:11 AM

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fiery lion Im the class leader but im too useless to do anything yet

What does class leader usually do?

fiery lion Jan 16, 2025, 1:04 AM

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Uhm like

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Command people to do stuff

uneven zinc Jan 16, 2025, 1:36 AM

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you can maybe try to make them to organize a class activity they can do maybe

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woahh i just noticed its been 80 years ago

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since WW2

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did I mention my great grandpa was in WW2?

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He was a lieutenant in the Japanese army

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Basically a soldier in X-Axis

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died before I was even born

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ehh i forgot when he died

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but anyway, out of like 300 men he went together, only he and 3 other members came back

uneven zinc Jan 16, 2025, 2:11 AM

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mb i was eating so i had to go for a moment

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but anyway

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🥲

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the location of the name is prohibited!? 😭

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Its the starvation island

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google it, its some island in solomon island

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came back to japan by stealing enemy plane

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or boat idk

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but during that time they were eating nothing what you would call it delicious

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||like rats||

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by the time he came back, diagnosed with PTSD, he would take his katana to a police station and tell them to burn it down

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and for some reason he would shove a literal cinnamon spice into my grandma and my mom (they cant handle cinnamon anymore)

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by the end, he would become a buddhist

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crazy story

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and he died after denying to seek medical care after he gotten sick

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my other great grandpa, literally faked his eye problem and didnt go to war cause they didnt want those who cant work

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now I aint sure thats my great grandpa who died on my grandma’s birthday

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but thats another story

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but the reason why this all came up is because from this one yt video

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I got the picture of him saved

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but I aint sure to send it to public

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heck, I should make a wikipedia page about my great grandpa (maybe)

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So if anyone wanna know what happened after cutting my leg, it stopped bleeding. (yay?) It has a huge scab

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oh shit I was just rubbing my hands on the scab and it got loose and came off 💀

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part of it*

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So… still healing 👍

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i forgot that ripping off scabs would make a permanent mark

uneven zinc Jan 16, 2025, 6:03 AM

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Uhhh I think I accidentally resetted the healing process (I ripped off the scab)

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The pain was just satisfying

fiery lion Jan 16, 2025, 12:33 PM

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uneven zinc Uhhh I think I accidentally resetted the healing process (I ripped off the scab)

WHAAAA

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It hurts tho T^T

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Donttt do that cuz yknow scabs are tricky

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Plus too much pain is bad

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I tried cutting and it hurt too bad

uneven zinc Jan 16, 2025, 2:10 PM

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theres not much pain when you dont think about it

uneven zinc Jan 17, 2025, 10:52 PM

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I dont know how

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but I ripped my lip

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and its bleeding

uneven zinc Jan 18, 2025, 4:06 AM

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yo I might be crazy but

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I ripped my lips again

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like I tried to smile and it just went like that

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my lips are dry probably

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but just tryna smile like 3 seconds later feels like im tearing it more

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and it feels nice 😭

uneven zinc Jan 18, 2025, 6:23 PM

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I dont understand

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Why people dont understand psychopath and sociopath?

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they define 2 different people

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psychopath doesnt mean they’re sociopath. Sociopaths usually ends up unsuccessful more then those who is a psychopath

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but besides that argument, i think i gained weight and the clothes i need to wear for the concert is too small

uneven zinc Jan 19, 2025, 12:25 AM

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the concert was terrible

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I was so lost in my mind

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I couldnt play 4 of my songs right

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plus my clothes were small that it was imobolizing me

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It was so embarrassing

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my egg broke too. It was part of my project and my “babysitter” dropped my egg

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im going to fail the class

uneven zinc Jan 19, 2025, 3:23 AM

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Should I watch a video that “makes” me see hallucinations?

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or should I watch another unsatisfying crime documentaries about 6 german residents mysteriously ||gets k-word|| in the early 1900s?

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EUGH WHY IS EVERYTHING MAKING A WORM MOVEMENT

fiery lion Jan 19, 2025, 1:37 PM

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Uhh

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You good?

fiery lion Jan 19, 2025, 1:38 PM

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uneven zinc im going to fail the class

😔

uneven zinc Jan 20, 2025, 4:26 AM

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fiery lion You good?

Not really good. Been thinking of ending everything on my birthday. Everyone seems to be talking terrible about me behind my back and I cant relate to anyone about what I’m feeling. I just rather sleep and never wake up or just thinking of the ways I could die with. I havent really told much about my true feelings or thoughts for the past few days in here. I cant cry anymore even if i tried. It’s hard to me to confess my feeling and my thoughts without getting a feeling of annoyance from others.

fiery lion Jan 20, 2025, 2:32 PM

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uneven zinc Not really good. Been thinking of ending everything on my birthday. Everyone see...

Awhh

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Im sorry about that

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If you want to talk abt it im here

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Tho im not rly the most mentally healthy person myself

uneven zinc Jan 21, 2025, 6:01 AM

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I wish I could, but its hard for me to explain and express. I’ll try to talk more about it. I havent felt this bad on my birthday. Last year was kind of lonesome and year before barely different like the last. This year, I couldnt do anything except make an apple pie that i didnt eat.

uneven zinc Jan 21, 2025, 9:35 AM

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warning: s-worded thoughts and talks bout wrong use of medication purposes
||I felt like wanting to overdose myself yesterday. Something kept me from doing it. I got some melatonin supplements and thought of trying it (when its the least toxic medication). But it would have taken me to the point where I could have gotten symptoms of overdose like headache, tachycardia, etc. Probably painkillers would have worked better but I didnt think that big earlier. And no, I havent taken either yet.||

uneven zinc Jan 21, 2025, 11:47 AM

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I want my life back. I want to go back where everything wasnt in chaos, COVID ruined my childhood and my mental health. I want to go back to where my family didnt start breaking. I want to go back where we all live happily. I want to go back where my only grandma who actually loved us didnt have a parkinson disease and where my grandpa still had his actual voice. I want to go back to where I didnt have negative memories and thoughts pushing me back to try and thinking about ending myself.
Why the time doesnt go backward? Why the hell do we all have to feel miserable? Why cant happiness last forever? Why am I suffering from depression? Why do we all struggle to survive for when all we do is be in the world for certain amount of years probably not to be remembered by others as years go? The hell is our purpose for if we weren’t meant to be happy? Its been more than 24 hours since I slept and I still cant sleep. What is wrong with me? Why I cant sleep? Why am I here feeling all f-ed up in my head when im suppose to be sleeping around 5-4 hours ago? Why am I up at 3 in the morning just to have thoughts that I shouldnt think hard of?
The questions continue yet I am too damn tired to continue myself from writing in a journal where people would probably in their own world with their own problems with their own little journal

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its like talking to a brick wall at this point

fiery lion Jan 21, 2025, 2:20 PM

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Im sure itll be better in the future right?????

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If you hit rock bottom it means the only way is up

fiery lion Jan 21, 2025, 2:21 PM

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uneven zinc its like talking to a brick wall at this point

Hey im here to listen, just dont give up mkay?

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Well i think my purpose is to do something to change this world, what about you?

uneven zinc Jan 21, 2025, 2:28 PM

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im not sure..

fiery lion Jan 21, 2025, 3:39 PM

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I see

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Howre you feeling right now?

uneven zinc Jan 21, 2025, 3:50 PM

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tired

fiery lion Jan 22, 2025, 4:46 AM

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uneven zinc tired

Awhh, you wanna talk about some stuff?

uneven zinc Jan 22, 2025, 4:49 AM

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I didnt sleep yesterday and my friend is trying to force me to become friends with my ex-friend

uneven zinc Jan 22, 2025, 5:09 AM

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she made it into not only her problem but mine. I do not go well with the ex-friend who thinks that she needs “help” as to being “depressed” in which she claims to be. She usually manipulates people into giving her excuses to get away from stuff and gets angry when things dont go as planned. She forces other people to do her work because shes depressed. Not only that, she gossips about other people when she doesnt like that person. Thats why i dont talk to her anymore yet my friend is trying to make me get along with them

uneven zinc Jan 22, 2025, 5:43 AM

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Now how to stop a rumor…

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probably tomorrow’s problem

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wait I actually need to think this out

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should I accept my friend’s apology or to deny it

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She does seem apologetic to me and did realize her own mistakes

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I need actual advice and help rn

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what do I do?

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OH MY GOSH I HAVE LIKE 25 PEOPLE I CAN ASK IN ANOTHER CHANNEL

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I FORGOTTEN BOUT THAT

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NOOO THE CHANNEL BEEN DEAD FOR ABOUT HALF AN HOUR

fiery lion Jan 22, 2025, 1:38 PM

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Hmm

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Im assuming the situation happened?

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Did it go smoothly or?

uneven zinc Jan 22, 2025, 1:41 PM

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i havent answered their text

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I dont know what to text

uneven zinc Jan 23, 2025, 6:40 AM

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How to know if you are actually sane?

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You might just feel normal to yourself but how does others feel about you?

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what if you are actually crazy but just denying it?

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ok, im 80-100% caffinated at almost 11 pm rn and I just realized. I may or may not love the fact that i am slowly ||killing|| myself

uneven zinc Jan 23, 2025, 10:46 PM

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Its 3.5 weighted GPA bad?

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cause if its bad then im screwed

uneven zinc Jan 24, 2025, 11:11 AM

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I have 5 ASSIGNMENTS DUE TODAY 😭

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 12:46 AM

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Chat be honest, am i normal?

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 3:20 AM

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I dont know what to say ngl. My friend keep saying how she wanna commit s-word. She keeps saying that and im not even sure if thats as if like actual meaning of it or just saying as a term to distract herself from motivating

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I once tried to say like look more into the positive side yet all she did was complain back to me

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She dont even look like s-word-al

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Like her life goes in her ways. She got in a relationship, her parents let her do what she wants, and not only that but also have a perfect physical appearance. not sure how bad of a life she has. Her parents arent even rude behind me or anything

fiery lion Jan 25, 2025, 4:44 AM

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uneven zinc Chat be honest, am i normal?

Youre pretty normal as far as im concerned

fiery lion Jan 25, 2025, 4:45 AM

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uneven zinc Like her life goes in her ways. She got in a relationship, her parents let her d...

Ehh i went through a s-word-al phase once, but i was pretty normal

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Like i was even looked up on

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 4:46 AM

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oh wow

fiery lion Jan 25, 2025, 4:46 AM

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But physical appearance can be deceiving, cuz your real feelings are often hidden, the most i could say was joke abt killing myself

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I almost went through with it once but

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I kinda failed

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 4:48 AM

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Are you alright?

fiery lion Jan 25, 2025, 4:48 AM

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uneven zinc Are you alright?

Yeaaa ofccc im alright

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Also whoa its kinda weird seeing you here

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I usually only respond when youre offline

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 4:49 AM

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i finished eating dinner and got bored

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Do you live in Asia?

fiery lion Jan 25, 2025, 4:50 AM

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uneven zinc Do you live in Asia?

Mymm

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Yeaa

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I bet its like 11 pm there

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 4:51 AM

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8:51pm rn

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it depends on the timezone in the U.S.

fiery lion Jan 25, 2025, 4:52 AM

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Mhm

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Howre you feeling right now?

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 4:53 AM

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tired. Woke up at 12 and 3 in the morning

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hbu?

fiery lion Jan 25, 2025, 4:54 AM

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uneven zinc tired. Woke up at 12 and 3 in the morning

Awhh

fiery lion Jan 25, 2025, 4:54 AM

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uneven zinc hbu?

Everything is cool here

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Im rly starting to like life

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 4:55 AM

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thats great to hear

fiery lion Jan 25, 2025, 4:55 AM

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uneven zinc thats great to hear

Ehh btw whats it like where youre from??

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Im rly curious

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 4:55 AM

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where I am living rn or where I was born?

fiery lion Jan 25, 2025, 4:56 AM

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uneven zinc where I am living rn or where I was born?

Where you are righr now

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 4:57 AM

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Dry

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Its basically the desert

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Its the Mojave Desert and pretty hot during the summer like over 110 degree fahreinheit. But now its like 32 degrees at night

fiery lion Jan 25, 2025, 5:01 AM

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uneven zinc Its the Mojave Desert and pretty hot during the summer like over 110 degree fahr...

Whaa

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Wher do you live??

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Arizona?

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 5:02 AM

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Nevada

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Arizona gets a little bit hotter during summer

fiery lion Jan 25, 2025, 5:03 AM

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OH WOW

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Thats in the us righr?

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 5:03 AM

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yea

fiery lion Jan 25, 2025, 5:03 AM

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fiery lion OH WOW

Certainly depicts nevada similar to my imagination T^T

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 5:05 AM

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I love the desert more than the forest. You can see everything above you during the night without any trees blocking the view

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Plus if you were to be in an area where there arent many light pollution, its wonder sight. I once saw the milky way and a satellite with my own eyes. Its crazy

fiery lion Jan 25, 2025, 5:15 AM

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Mm but its hot out in the daytime

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Although forests do have alot of insects..

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 5:19 AM

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no mosquitoes in the area

uneven zinc Jan 25, 2025, 6:59 PM

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I slept for 9 hours and I feel like the world is falling

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i think they are but i dont think theres a way to confirm it

fiery lion Jan 26, 2025, 9:47 AM

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Huh?

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Interesting

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But thats pretty good

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8 hours of sleep is the best amount of sleep

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Although its rly hard to reach it

uneven zinc Jan 27, 2025, 4:23 AM

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haha.. funny thing is that I woke up at 3 today

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My sleep cycle is out of place

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and I met this nice discord user

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for the first time in like forever, I actually feel like i was happy just for a bit until i got depressed again

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sorry for like zoning back and in for a while

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I just been so tired and depressed to what to type in here

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and I get mixed thoughts so get ready deal with like different subjects being smushed together if someone actually reads this

uneven zinc Jan 28, 2025, 3:25 AM

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I am scared for my friend unable to cook boiled egg

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she thought the eggshell would become soft and merge with the egg yolk and whites to become boiled eggs

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and i feel like shes gonna explode the egg somehow

uneven zinc Jan 28, 2025, 3:45 AM

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also my other friend is stuck in shakespearian english

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not sure how to feel

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Have i told you how I accidentally cut myself with a boxcutter once? Its not purpose self-harm but the boxcutter was dirty

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tried to create my dogs toy and cut my wrist

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it was stupid but worth it

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now why im talking about this? its because I see a boxcutter and i feel like purposely doing it this time and I am trying to resist the urge by typing in here

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which is not really a good thought but its stopping me from doing it cause i have my attention on my phone more than the boxcutter itself

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but i think talking about it is making it worse

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what should I do to avoid thinking about it

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I feel so lonely right now not gonna lie

uneven zinc Jan 28, 2025, 4:50 AM

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I found the best thing from a person. “According to astronomy, if you wish upon a star, you are already million years too late. The star is dead. Just like your dreams” -Robbnwa

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i dont know what im doing not gonna lie

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im all over the place

uneven zinc Jan 29, 2025, 2:15 AM

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screw chiropractor, I would rather feel pain than having to feel like im lying over them

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Thats what I learned today

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I would rather die than just dealing with these medically “professional” people

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oh wait i think thats how my great grandpa died from the illness after WW2…

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…

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Anyway, if I dont feel like im healing, then I dont need em

uneven zinc Jan 29, 2025, 5:47 AM

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I think im tired, not really sure, but I think i aint feeling well

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I cant be positively be sure how I dont know how i aint feeling well

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I feel like grabbing the pain killers to ease off the pain

uneven zinc Jan 29, 2025, 9:51 AM

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Its 1 in the morning turning 2. Logging in on the journal after listening to not-so-great crime stories and the g-word(you probably know the word). Not sure why I aint asleep yet and I think my nose is swollen

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Just feeling lonely so might as well talk about something

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My APUSH class would soon talk about the time period from 1880-1945 which is Unit 7 and you probably know what happened during that time period

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So out of curiosity, I would search up stuff since cameras were already invented that time

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and warning, never search it up if you cant handle it

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Like just dont do it

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Now why would I do it? Its because i was curious with the time period where my great grandpa being japanese at war would have probably have seen

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Realizing this, I can understand how terrifying it was to be in one

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and just imaging being one of them back in the past

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Imagine yourself in a world of chaos where not only you probably lost your family but also friends in the war and you are struggling to survive just for your country

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(I aint gonna say things that traumatize people i pinky promise mods)

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plus I have warned before opening this journal to not go into my journal if it does not make you feel comfortable or being sensitive about the topics

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just saying before I probably get banned just by talking about it

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-# probably better than talking about committing s-word

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Any going back to the topic, looking at us right now, we 100% live a better live than our ancestors (except for those you know what i mean)

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Those of you guys (including me) probably dont realize how lucky we are of not getting forced out from our families for the country

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Sure, some mistortunes in our family/friends/heath/etc beating us down for whatever reason but just living in a time where you probably wont see a thing falling out from the sky or see a fighter plane in the sky, I think we live a good life.
-# maybe… actually nvm I lied about the last 7 words before the word maybe

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We still live in a world of chaos

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theres nothing we can do to change it

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unless you magically get a wishing genie to change that but i doubt

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actually, this made me feel bit better in life

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-# until i realize im still depressed as that one emo phase kid saying “its just a phase”

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I still feel lonely but atleast got few feeling out you thought it was over?

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the only pure joy I have is from my dog who earlier gave me this glare

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and my mood drained rn after realizing i have work to do thats due

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Now my main question i got is how did the war (IT AINT POLITICAL) talk end up with me talking about my dog…

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also my mom told me I might have ADHD

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she non-professionally diagnosed me

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My brother probably got ADHD

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i think

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…

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does he?

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Anyway I forgotten to brush my teeth for like 3 days due to being mentally drained, ill do it rn

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sorry for those if you can smell my disgusting breath through the virtual device

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oh gosh why would I read the vents when i know myself I am also s-word-al

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i thought it wouldnt be that bad but It gave me a headache just reading them im so sorry

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if my mental health is that bad then im actually screwed

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if my “emo phase” come out, try and make me snap out of it

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why does it sound weird saying that

uneven zinc Jan 31, 2025, 2:45 AM

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Okay I might be in a depressive phase rn and I need someone to help me find a way out of it

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I aint feeling good about myself and I keep imagining myself in a s-word scenerio

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thats all i can say today until further late in the night or early in the morning again

#Oculus’s Journal/Venting