How to grow up

[glossy blaze]

I'm 21 years old, almost 22 years old.Ordinary looking, unsociable.

I went out of school, didn't go to college, and now I only rely on self-study exams to get my degree.

After leaving the school, I found that I really can't do anything and dare not.Now the money is running out.

I have been in a state of emptiness for a long time.don't have friends,and have never been in real love.Basically, I have never had the happiness of peers.

Grow up,now I have to face three problems in my life.

I am almost a marginalized person.

In my language circle,I have not found my sense of belonging yet.

English, this is not my mother tongue.Because it is strange, I came to this new world to see what it is like.

[near tree]

just be mature

and grow up

[glossy blaze]

Language, for me, is an entity of culture.

I don't know English.I use the translator and some words I can understand to feel this new world.

I almost became schizophrenic this year.

The spirit is in a state of near collapse

Sometimes I can't control it, I will talk nonsense and do some bad behaviors.

But it's much better now.

Now I mainly learn to make friends first, and there is communication.

And face the society

Suffering is a lifelong inner struggle, and medication and medical treatment cannot solve any problems. It will be classified which appears in reality, and being more painful will only reproduce the suffering. And I am not a lucky person, without anyone's support, I can only digest it myself and eventually find a unique channel,mb

[uncut patrol]

The idea that suffering is a lifelong struggle that cannot be alleviated by medication or treatment is a perspective that doesn't consider the full range of human resilience, support systems, and medical advancements. *While suffering is an inherent part of the human experience, it doesn't mean that it is an unending burden or one that must be faced alone.

Mental health treatment, support from others, and self-care strategies can significantly improve well-being, even if they don't "solve" the problem outright. Medication, therapy, and social connections can help individuals manage their suffering, bringing relief, clarity, and tools for coping. While it's true that suffering often feels isolating, reaching out for help or finding meaningful ways to express and understand your emotions can create a sense of support that might feel missing.

Additionally, embracing the idea that each person can find a unique channel or path toward healing can be empowering. No one is truly alone, even if it might feel that way in moments of despair. Life is about building resilience, exploring different avenues of help, and understanding that the journey through suffering can involve growth, connection, and healing.*

To answer your first question Growing up is a journey of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and responsibility. It involves learning from mistakes, managing emotions, and building empathy for others. Developing a growth mindset, being adaptable, and staying resilient through challenges are key aspects. Prioritizing health and well-being, seeking help when needed, and finding purpose give life meaning. Healthy relationships, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion are also important. Ultimately, growing up is about continuous learning, accepting imperfections, and evolving into a more complete version of yourself.

[plain kettle]

If you could put a voice to you're suffering, what emotion might be speaking that is suffering, what might it say or do? I asked to get a better understanding of the nature of your suffering

[sweet shale]

There are many people that has the same age as you but has now.

If you are confused with learning, you can always learn from google or youtube.

I am able to be your friend if it makes you better C:

[glossy blaze]

Sure!thank you

[glossy blaze]

I will not create my own value.This is what I understand.

Because I can't create value, I can't fit into any circle.I feel that society is to get rid of "self" because I care too much about "self",I was not successfully socialized.

Now I am facing this society alone, and I am very confused.

Many things are unknown

[glossy blaze]

Thank for your answer!!!

[uncut patrol]

Np

[safe timber]

I'm sorry you have reached a dead end in life 🙏

My solution is you get a job, pay for expenses and study part time ❤️

[glossy blaze]

I remember.I got 3 jobs,the colleagues think I am like a kid.i think they are right

cowardly,my ''ex-girlfriend'',she said she was like a mother herself.

Another woman I met online recently, she thinks so, too.

Ofc,she was done with me

Girl and ppl doesn't like kid man

But my cowardice seems hard to correct🤔

[glossy blaze]

Today I want to correct my sleep. My sleep is very irregular. I sleep for 2-3 hours every day

I took medicine today, hoping to go to bed on time

[plain kettle]

When you think about society telling you that you do not fit anywhere, and that society says that yourself is broken, and that when you think about asking for help society turns its back on you and tells you to go away, and then when you go up to society and beg it for help whatever it says doesn't seem to work for you, and you're not sure why, which causes confusion, but instead of society helping society just shrugs and says it can't do anything, Do you think that is similar to how you are feeling right now?

[glossy blaze]

Yes!yes!this

[glossy blaze]

I feel that this society is full of problems.It won't tell you why, but you won't know what's going on until you bear some costs.But the cost is often high.

So that I am in some pathological problem, a pathological confusion, and I am very passive now

[plain kettle]

What I realized for myself is the following,

When society said I should play video games or read books or meditate or exercise when I was bored, I never thought to ask my boredom what it actually wanted, and society was goddamn wrong.

What my boredom actually wanted me to do was to go on walks while I wrote down ideas about philosophy and morality and then I would go on a walk and talk about morality and philosophy with my friend or with a chatbot, so I could refine my arguments.

And my boredom wanted me to tell my manager that I would have to quit if they couldn't let me rotate between stores because I was at the same store everyday and my boredom was suffering bad. And my manager was impressed at how I was able to express my needs and agreed with me.

And then society said I needed to clean my room, or vacuum, or do the laundry, or dust things, or work on my to-do list. But when I listened to my overwhelm, it said it was suffering because all of that was just what society wanted and not what it wanted.

My overwhelm said it was okay to do those things but only when it said it was okay because my overwhelm wanted me to instead focus on my core values and my core beliefs which was taking the philosophy and morality arguments and typing them up into a document and then figuring out how to create threads on Reddit or forums and debate them and refine my arguments and ask new questions.

And then when I listened to my boredom and my overwhelm and I did what they wanted I felt amazing, and all of those things society said I should do I do some of them sometimes but I only do it when my emotions want me to and I've never felt better.

[plain kettle]

If you want help finding what your emotions are saying let me know

[glossy blaze]

Indeed it is.

I think society itself is created by people and then reacts on people.

In fact, I have discussed philosophy and values with others on similar platforms before.

But I feel that I am still not happy enough, because I realize that I have to experience something realistic.But these are bound to struggle with the present society.

For example, in our place, the marriage rate is low and the love problem is serious, so I may have to carry out this kind of reflection activity to get happiness.

Yes, I need a discussion group or a life group to be happy.