#Best friend?

29 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

spare light
#

I went to ask Nhi and she just became quiet and gave a short answer, "It looks fine" then went back on dotting herself

I know I look like a "tomboy" or whatever but out of everyone, she's the person that I least expect the most to be the one who will say that, I have been saying for 3 YEARS that I WANT TO LOOK GIRLY AND FEEL PRETTY TOO. That day is the last day in high school since it's a graduation party, I WANT TO BE PRETTY TOO FOR PROM, something that only happened ONCE in our life and I have always ADORED to dress up pretty like a girly girl. I was so confused the entire time because I didn't know how to be pretty too. No one help me at all and I spent my time helping her with nothing to gain and she just shrugged me off like that, I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A LIPSTICK TO EVEN PUT ON.

#

I look like a mess completely

#

And she was partying on the stage and dotting herself to everyone, taking selfies and just

#

I was completely left alone in that day, until she got bored and decided to sit with me after her fun, I did not have fun. I barely have fun. I was crying in the bathroom that entire night and she wasn't there with me ever.

#

After the party, I meet one of my old middle school friend and we hangout at the market

#

That was the first time in my life I ever saw Nhi, have her sleeves loose down past her hands, holding the jacket of a new boy she barely knew and just meet, walking besides him and let me walk behind them

#

She went from holding his jacket to his sleeves, making herself as small as possible and laughing all politely

#

I don't even know her anymore

#

On top of it all

#

That guy have a girlfriend

#

Suddenly, meeting him, she just let me walk behind them, barely catching a conversation with me and even talking over me, I did not know that girl who I sacrificed my first ever prom night and is the last one I ever experience in my entire life, the event that I always dream about

#

But then she is my best friend, who also helps me in my daily life, but she is also the person I have never heard a word of thanks in the 3 years we have known each other, she is the person I spend time and gifts with, the person I pay for her because I know she has a strict father who rarely lets her go out with anyone, but she is the person who sticks with me for 3 years, but she always feels happier whenever someone talks to her AND THERE'S JUST WAY TOO MANY THINGS

#

I don't even know if Im in the wrong anymore

#

or that Im being selfish

#

Im terrified because what if Im just victimizing myself

#

Im so confused

#

I just feel like I wasted and was used in 3 years of my life

ornate citrus
# spare light I just feel like I wasted and was used in 3 years of my life

I think this is the wrong takeaway. Most friendships aren't a perfect balance, you can't go into them saying "I helped you, now you help me" and expect it to work like that. With most men that's the case since you're dealing with testosterone and pride, but with females...nope.

You can't really rely on other people to look out for your best interests, so I would recommend you take the initiative yourself. Look at some fashion, experiment a bit, and make yourself into whoever you want to be without relying on other people to help you do it. A lot of guys are definitely into the tomboy thing, but if you want to try girly girl for a bit you shouldn't be waiting for someone else to greenlight it.

spare light
# ornate citrus I think this is the wrong takeaway. Most friendships aren't a perfect balance, y...

I think you're getting the wrong idea. Im aroace, Im not asking for anyone to give me any green light, I am questioning why did she even left me there alone. I do not care about the dude, I am questioning why would she ever do that to me and try so hard to act cute to a dude she barely knows and that dude even has a girlfriend, she leaves me behind, blankly ignoring me. I cared for her because she was feeling down, and THAT IS MY FAULT to ever care for her more than myself. I am questioning if ever sacrifice my first-ever prom, helping everything just for her to give me a shrug off and say it's fine when she's all dolled up for the party when I literally have nothing. I was crying for 3 hours at that party and where is she the whole time? Barely gave a call, barely asked how I was, she just sat there and still took selfies, posting stories on her social media about how pretty she was. She is my best friend, isn't she?

#

And yet I am still questioning myself because she is nice to me, and she still does nice things to me, and that makes me confused if blaming her is ever the right thing to do, even when there are so many times I have sacrificed my money and time just to never heard a THANK YOU for 3 year

Don't get me started on what you just said because being gender different means there will also be differences in the way we treat each other? Humans are humans. I don't like how you just say girls and boys are different when it's been proven for years that we're just individuals with unique personalities, which makes EVERYONE different from everyone else. "Oh boys are like into games" when there are also whole communities of girls who are also into games and are good at it too, are passionate about it too, "but it's not the same" etc, it's literally the same.

slim orbit
spare light
slim orbit
spare light
slim orbit
#

These things suck and I have been there kinda

spare light
#

I met her today, Im already graduated but since Im the founder of my art club, they need me to retake a visit. So I did. When I created this club, it was with Nhi, the co-founder so both of us had to go back to school

I was a bit excited, but only a little, because I did hope that maybe she had changed or that perhaps we could just restart this dumb situation and move on as the potential last meeting. I was hanging on the "high school best friend" too

There were 6 people at the moment including me, the teacher who's the new counselor of the club, the rest were high schoolers that took on the responsibility of running the club. We had a lot of fun and I find it silly how they look up to me a lot. But when Nhi arrived, I was calling out for her but she didn't do the same, she didn't even look at me. But I just thought she didn't really hear it and didn't pay a mind about that. She went up to us and greeted the teacher, dropped her stuff on the table where I sat but still didn't look at me, she still didn't say hi. One of the kids called her and asked if she wanted to put on some light makeup and she somehow reacted really fast? I was closer, next to her even.

#

Then the entire time move on, I feel like she is brushing me off like pushing away a burden. Only answered a few short answers whenever I tried to talk to her and walked away or did not answer me at all. Yet she was being supportive and responding to others with that same sickening "sweet kind and loving" tone to others, as if she did not just give me a cold shoulder. I don't know what excuses I can bring up anymore.

#

What the hell did I give up my money, time, and even my last memory of high school for anymore?