#my bf told me to talk to someone?

60 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

waxen fjord
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cus apparently i kept causing drama for him and unintentionally hurting him and idk my bestie told me that he talked to my bf and my bf thinks im trying to push him away and make him break up with me but like thats so not true, its the opposite, like i really love him a lot even though i probably dont show it well-

idk but i want and need to fix this

can i send screenshots instead? this kinda hard to explain ngl

but this is what my bestie said to me (after he talked to my bf and one other guy):

"hey bestie, u know I'll always speak for ur best interest right? pls don't be upset when I say this but u messed up a little bit with the loyalty test u gave hubby.

hubby's a great guy and seems genuinely in love with u, so doubting his loyalty and trying to put it to the test was a really bad idea, you could've (and lowkey might've) jeopardized your whole relationship with him!

I talked with mossy and hubby, and they've seemed to smooth things over with each other, but they say they're worried you're upset or stressed abt the situation right now

hubby seems to be feeling like with all the 'loyalty tests', questions, and doubt, that you're trying to push him away or make him break up with you, and even though he loves you so much, he's considering it and is thinking about breaking up because he thinks it's in your best interest

also mossy is pretty hurt by the situation, though him coming up with the idea for a loyalty test wasn't the smartest, you should've known better than to go along with it, and shifting all the blame to him in the gc was pretty bad

but I don't know the situation fully, so I wanna hear u tell me abt it before I say more

u can rant to me bestie, that's what frens are for!"

and what i replied:

"hubby told me to talk to someone about my problems, im not trying to push him away, i completely misunderstood everything mossy said thats why i caused this unnecessary drama and i need to keep my distance from randos so that i wont mess up agn and hubby thinks im just scared to be lonely, but no i actually do love him a lot, even though i probably dont show it well. im finding help"

dire nova
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when your bf said someone, did they mean therapist?

waxen fjord
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most likely

dire nova
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yeah

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im a bit confused rn

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i typed a whole paragraph and it didnt feel relevant

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could i please get a tldr?

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sorry

waxen fjord
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whats a tldr

dire nova
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a summary

waxen fjord
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oh okei

dire nova
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yah

waxen fjord
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on 4 sept, there was the first drama, it was about me feeling bad for my ex best friend and i was willing to do anything for him to keep him alive but i made the wrong choices and my bf found out, he blamed the other guy for suicide baiting me and he called me naive for actually believing that other guy and that one ended.

10 days later on 14 sept, i created a server and added my friends in, after my bf joined the server, mossy (another friend of mine) sent me a screenshot of the mutual friends he and my bf got. so i told my bf to remove those girls from his dms and he did. but mossy said its better to test so he gave me an idea to pick one of the girls in the screenshot to test them, but i completely misunderstood his meaning. i thought hes telling me to talk to one of the girls so i refused and said "i'll just go test my bf instead" (that was the misunderstanding and also the cause of the second drama). then obv the test didnt go well, my bf figured it was me and about halfway thru the test i couldnt take it anymore so i got a little mad and told my bf abt the test and yeah he got mad now.

even tho the drama is over now but
my bf thinks the "loyalty test" i did was me doubting him and it was me trying to push him away or make him break up with me but thats seriously not my intention

rn nomatter how many times i apologize and tell him it was not intentional, he questions me

dire nova
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back

waxen fjord
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hii

dire nova
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one mo

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im reading

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you know

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its just a misunderstanding

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dont take it to heart

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just apologise!

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it was never your fault

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just misadvice

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oh

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the last line

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im sorry, i dont know how to help with this

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but

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tell him how youre feeling

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be open

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its the best thing you could do 🙂

waxen fjord
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also he said this yst:
Then I don't understand why so many mistakes are happening
You need to REALLY talk this out with someone, I've tried
but it's like
I'm getting nowhere
Cause idk what else I can do to make you believe this is "real"

(cus i told him before that if theres no drama, i wld feel as if nothing is real idrk but he wants me to believe that this is real even without all the drama)

dire nova
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oh

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im sorry im giving bad advice

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ill try think of something

waxen fjord
waxen fjord
dire nova
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ok

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one minute

dense moth
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Trust and communication make a relationship work. If one or the other is lacking, neither quality can keep it healthy on its own. Take friends out of the equation, and just make sure you’re talking with your boyfriend personally and frequently. Your true intentions are best communicated through actions, and there’s nothing like frequent communication to put a guy’s worries to rest.

pure rock
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tbh if u have male friends and a bf then you are a red flag

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not even lying

dense moth
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*To make something clear, I’m not saying to leave your friends. I just mean you should keep the relationship between you and your boyfriend, without any friends helping either of you along in it

pure rock
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and over that asking ur bf to remove his female friends

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now thats more of a red flag than china

dense moth
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I agree with Ryan. Getting rid of friends because they’re possible competition? If the guy cheats, you leave him. Getting rid of his friends doesn’t really change the possibility of that, it’s just “what kind of guy is he”

pure rock
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i didnt get shit

dense moth
pure rock
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i get so pissed off when i see girls like this

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i had an ex like this bro

dire nova
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shut up

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when you act in panic it desperation you dont work anymore

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Dont take the words to heart

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What you did was a bit dumb, but you are always better than your worst mistake

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Remember that

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Things will work out

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All I can say is

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Be open and life will take you there sis

waxen fjord