#healing journey (yapfest) + lore

1239 messages · Page 2 of 2 (latest)

cloud niche
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My brother is so annoying

cloud niche
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BRO the way my ex came up to me not even a week after we broke up is STILL haunting me F HER

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UGHHH

cloud niche
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I don’t want to jinx it

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But it’s getting a bit better

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Ik it won’t be a straight hill upward, and I’m gonna fall down occasionally

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But, I switched out of the class w/ my ex, I’m meeting my therapist tomorrow, and I’m being more active

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So we’ll see how it goes from here

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🧷🤞🏻

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There would be times I got physically sick Bcs of how she treated me

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It was so bad

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And sometimes I would go to skl just to see her

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She did that one time for me

solid tree
cloud niche
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And then she never did again but that’s in the past, I mean not that long ago but still

cloud niche
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But I’m just trying to focus on myself

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It’s so hard tho

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But, I’m trying

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For sure

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I cut her out of my life already

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School is the only time I “see” her, (I try to avoid her)

solid tree
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HOLY SHIT UR FILIPINO

cloud niche
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So I’m just gonna move forward and leave her behind, just like she did too me.

solid tree
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KAMUSTA KAAA

cloud niche
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MABUTI!

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IKAW? KAMUSTA KA?

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MY Tagalog is rlly broken btw 😔

solid tree
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mabuti gang

cloud niche
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Thanks for popping in

solid tree
cloud niche
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Frfr

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😒😔

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Alam mo si beabadoobee?

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If not that’s fine, I just love her music

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😄👍🏻

solid tree
cloud niche
solid tree
cloud niche
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AHHH

solid tree
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i listen to some of her music, she's pretty tuff

cloud niche
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Alr u got me there

cloud niche
solid tree
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u listen to lamp?

cloud niche
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I DO! Occasionally I’m trying to get into lamp more

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But I listen to lamp playlists

solid tree
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i might go to their concert in boston on saturday

cloud niche
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So idk the songs by name yet, I just listen to them

cloud niche
solid tree
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a toshi no aki by them is my fav

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u should listen

cloud niche
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Alr thanks, I def will 🙏🙏

solid tree
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i could put u onto hella music omg, i love music gang

cloud niche
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I love getting recs 🙏

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U can dm if u want

solid tree
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what dou wanna listen to?

cloud niche
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😝

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😎

cloud niche
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I hate my mom sm

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Genuinely

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She doesn’t understand anything

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She thinks she knows everything

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she thinks she knows me

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She rlly doesn’t at all

rain sable
cloud niche
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OMG

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I haven’t updated this for so long

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My best friend switches classes and she’s in a class w/ my ex 💀

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LMAO

cloud niche
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Hi!

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Haven’t been here in over a month

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But

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Just wanted to check in

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I’ve been getting better

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I saw my ex for the first time in after a month and I don’t feel like dying or hurt

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If anything, kind of just disappointed

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I want to talk to her but, I know I can’t

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But if there’s anyone out there thst will read this, it does get better

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But you have to push yourself to get through it

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Atleast that’s what I did

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Yes, rely on the people you love and trust, but you also need to help yourself

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I won’t be as active on discord anymore as I’m trying to move on with my life but, I’ll come here once in a while to check it

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I hope it gets better from here

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🙌

cloud niche
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It gets better but it’s not without faults

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I feel so humiliated right now

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I faced my ex for the first time in like 2 months in person

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And I was crying bcs I was overstimulated

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And she had to see me like that

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F’ her

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Genuinely

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I haven’t cried in like a good month or sm

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I don’t dont even know if I cried bcs of her

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Maybe it was

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Maybe it wasn’t

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I don’t even know

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And I ran into her on the way into the bathroom

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How embarrassing.

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The way she just avoided me like that

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Ugh

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I genuinely wanted to punch her so badly

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I’m so pissed

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It feels like all my progress has gone to waste

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I know it hasn’t

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But it sure as hell feels like it

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If only I could go the rest of my life without seeing her

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I would be a lot better

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And I’m in choir so I have to sing soon

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What a joke

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A big lousy joke

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I genuinely feel so hopeless atm

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The one person I want to comfort me is gone.

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Idek

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I feel like

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Idek how I feel

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It’s like all my progress has gone down the drain

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I rlly want to graduate

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I haven’t been to the gym in ages

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I hate academic validation

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It’s so dumb

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But my mind is so wired to follow certain things and work a certain way

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I thought me avoiding her, and her avoiding me wouldn’t bother me

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It didn’t at first

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But I guess once I got so close, knowing that maybe in another life we’re on better terms. It freaking hurt

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So here goes my progress, need to start from scratch again

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I know I have a safety pin necklace

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But it’s so hard to keep the promise

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🧷

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It’s to hard

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.

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I’ll keep trying but I don’t know how much longer I can hold it for

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🙃

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I just want to get out of here

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Move away

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Find a new life

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And then leave

languid valley
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MAy i ask how old you are?

cloud niche
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I guess once the tears started, they don’t stop

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I haven’t cried in so long

languid valley
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Let it out bro

cloud niche
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It feels nice but also hurts at the same time

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Thanks

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I don’t feel comfortable revealing my age

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But I am a minor

languid valley
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Alright

cloud niche
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And I ran into her on the way into the bathroom, it was so embarrassing

languid valley
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While u were crying?

cloud niche
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No

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It’s been 2 months since she dumped me

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I felt fine

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But no

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I thought I was getting better

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She’s not the reason I started crying

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I think

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But it’s definitely not helping

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🙃🙃🙃

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I feel like all the progress I made in the last 2 months went down the drain

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I was getting better, I was seeing progress, but I guess thst just was all behind a facade

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Because the second I was face to face with her, or I stared at her for more than 3 seconds. My chest started to hurt

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I thought it was okay

languid valley
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You are young

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find distraction

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go to the gym or find a new hobby

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try to move on and be happy again

cloud niche
languid valley
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cause if u dont it will just break you

cloud niche
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But it feels like I just got setback

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I appreciate it though

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I just wish I was independent

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I feel better now that I cried ngl

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But I still feel like crap

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And it doesn’t help thst I’m beside a room of like 80+ ppl and if I get my stuff they’re all going to see me sobbing 🙃

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I hate this

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I think I’ll be okay

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I just needed to let it out

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It’s still so embarrassing how I ran into my ex as I was crying tho

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That genuinely makes me wanna kms it was so humiliating

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Omfg

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Like F off

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Why are you even here

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🤬🤬

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🙃🙃

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But whatever

languid valley
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if u want to move on you have to forgive her

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i havent read this whole thread

cloud niche
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I don’t plan to have them back in my life, I don’t want them too, it doesn’t help that like their whole family is here watching, and their sisters don’t like me thst much

cloud niche
cloud niche
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Not after the way she treated me

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And I’m okay with that

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She only apologized to make herself feel better, not bcs she meant it

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If she was rlly sorry she would’ve done so before.

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You don’t have to read the whole thread

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It’s rolling

cloud niche
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But as a summary

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She was so toxic to me

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And I didn’t even realize it until it was over

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And now I’m dealing with the aftermath

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And it doesn’t help that we go to the same school

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But it’s fine

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I’m trying to work on myself

languid valley
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if she treated you that way its deff for the better that she left you

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you seem like a good guy

cloud niche
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I shouldn’t gaf about what she thinks

languid valley
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I set myself a rule that i would never get into a relationship with a girl from my school

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thats not advice just my personal preference

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I cant even imagine how hard it must be seeing the person that u loved like every week

cloud niche
languid valley
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You're strong you'l get over it

cloud niche
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I still think about her everyday, but its less and less 👍🏻

languid valley
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Good

languid valley
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You're on a good way

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just keep going

cloud niche
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I understand thanks

lethal gate
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Type

rain sable
cloud niche
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Hey 👋🏻, this is probably the last time I’m gonna update this, I want to go into 2025 with a fresh mind, I was originally gonna delete my account, but I think I’ll wait a bit before I do that, maybe a few weeks or so. I’m a completely different person than I was a year ago, I’ve been through so much, and it’s honestly kind of crazy when I look back at it. To those who’ve followed through this journey, thank you. Im still far from being fully healed, and I may never get there, but I’m definitely a lot better than I was a few months ago. I still can’t wait to move out, and be independent. I also can’t wait to be free and not trapped in a household where if they knew who I truly were they would hate me. I’ll leave this trapped in the chronicles of the internet. It was a good temporary solution and it helped me a lot, but it’s not permanent solution. There’s a lot of things I miss about my old self, but I’m not her anymore. I’m going into 2025 as a new person not Bcs I want to be, but Bcs that’s just what happened. But I think I’ll be okay, I definitely won’t be for a while, but I will eventually, and I can’t wait until then. I can’t wait until I get my peace. Signing off from this journal. 📝

worn wasp
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you’re strong and amazing and will do great things next year!! good luck c:

rain sable
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LIN! i am glad you are feeling a bit better

cloud niche
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Officially deleting my account, thank you 🫶🏼

slow dagger
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Wow

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Okay

rain sable
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matt, he is thankful. dont make this about losing a friend

slow dagger
rain sable
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sorry

slow dagger
rain sable
slow dagger
rain sable
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because she is starting over. we helped her!

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she is turning a new page in her life!

slow dagger
rain sable
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she isnt doing that