relationship problems

[delicate shard]

I’m the bf and my bsf talks to my gf everyday. They were on bad terms before but then my bsf sent a snap to my gf and said “oops I accidentally snapped you is it okay if we send snaps with eachother?” with good morning and goodnight messages and what happens with their day mostly my bsf is starting all the convos and he hides from me that he is chatting with her and doesn’t tell me but he doesn’t know I’m logged in my gf account prob just a jealousy problem but what yall think, they talk abt weird stuff like my bsf telling my gf she has shiny lips like wtaf and she responds with his lips more shiny very random stuff should I talk to my bsf about it and what should I say

[digital nimbus]

I think you should talk to your gf first and ask in general about what’s going on (don’t come off as upset but curious) Her reaction will tell you even if she doesn’t say the truth Sit down and discuss your feelings and that you’re uncomfortable on some level in a healthy way Then you can talk to the bsf

It seems to me that he has a underlying crush even if he doesn’t realize it and ignoring the situation on any part could hurt your friendship

[delicate shard]

I did have a talk with her she is telling me not to worry and said she didnt have many friends so she liked talking to him because they are friends and dont wanna lose friends and i did tell her im not comfortable and she said i shouldnt worry because he is my best friend and he wouldnt wanna do anything with her and just friends

[delicate shard]

And also cuz i had a past relationship that theres someone I know that became friends with my gf because i trusted her i didnt really do much aboht that guy but then i found out they have been talking all the time and saying I love you and they were chesting behind my back so it has become a trauma that i cant let slide no more

[digital nimbus]

Does your gf know about that?

[delicate shard]

Yeah

I dont want to assume that she likes attention and also she is obsessed with asians and I am asian and my bsf is also asian alot taller than me and good looking

[digital nimbus]

Hm and you’ve talked with your bsf?

[delicate shard]

No not yet im waiting till he tells me that he talks to her to see his intentions maybe im overthinking but maybe not cuz my gfs personality is his type

[digital nimbus]

I think a bit but you’re also right to from past situations You also don’t have to rush to do anything If it is all in your head then you might just make your gf feel like she’s constantly being pushed

Not saying you are pushing her! It’s normal to feel these ways Just saying that people will see their perspective than others more

Idk if that was clear

[delicate shard]

Yeah because I dont wanna be controlling and also last time a indian guy was being all on her friendly goodmorning and goodnights sending hearts and i told her i wasnt comfortable with it and she deleted the guy but with my bsf idk

[delicate shard]

Yeah

[digital nimbus]

Overall maybe it could just be that your bsf is trying to be nice because you care about your gf HOWEVER idk if he’s the type of person to do so 🤷 Like yk go out your way to be nice to other people your friend has a relationship with out of proximity

[delicate shard]

He says he is an introvert and he never talks to girls mostly cuz he is that type of guy who doesnt talk to girls but to my gf he always chat first but he doesnt even talk to me anymore only if i chat first if I was the bsf why the hell would I talk to my bsf girlfriend like good morning and goodnights about the days emojies and stuff thats going abit out of the bro codes boundries

[digital nimbus]

Yeah I wouldn’t do that unless I was friends with the gf as well and it just happened to be two random friends of mine that got together

Or like my bf wanted me to be friends with his friends

[delicate shard]

Yeah but he didnt even know her till i told him then he asked for her snap then didnt really talk but in school he talks to her then she left the country and he always texts her

[delicate shard]

Yeah true

Idk why my bsf doesnt tell me about him talking to her but yeah

[digital nimbus]

Yeah that’s suspicious and valid to be Are you and your gf on good terms?

[delicate shard]

Yeah we are and when i bring up my bsfs name and talks about how he is always talking to her she just tells me to not argue with him because he is my best friend and he is just my friend and ur best friend he wouldnt have any intentions with me and stuff

[digital nimbus]

Best friends can still do shitty stuff especially over feelings What’s your gut feeling though?

[delicate shard]

Personally i dont like it at one point whenever its the right moment ill ask him how often he talks to my girl but depending on his answer will be how i feel about it he said he is the honest guy but he lies about stuff with my girl he sent a photo of him sweatty after doing treadmil flexing his bicep and saying he ran 45mph which is crazy

[digital nimbus]

Hm that seems like the best option Again try not to come off as interrogating Asking if they’re friends or close might help as well

I’m not even the best fit to answer all of this I just thought I could at least help cause this was recent and I was up I hope it all ends okay for you man

[delicate shard]

Yeah that’s true i will thanks its okay your an amazing therapist person to talk to haha