Okay so when i was younger, i used to want to be a grown up so bad so i didnt really have a good childhood because of it. i did stupid shii from ages 5 and up since then and idk why. i played house with my cousins and its messing me up because i feel like i ruined one of their growing experience. I didnt grow up with my father so my mom had to do the job herself and she did the best she could but a boy needs a man in his life to guide him to their own destination when it comes time to and i rarely had that growing up so that why i am the way i am now and it sucks. I did stupid shii with kids my age, and my cousins sexually and i hate that i did it and i cant change the shii either. I'm 17 now with issues like porn addiction, toxicity , and anxiety and i dont know how to move on from it. my mom cant afford therapy for me so i just thug it out each day which gets me zero progress whatsoever, maybe some but its not enough. I feel like a terrible person each day because of what ive done and i lost friends to this shii because of it. I honestly think im cooked to be honest with you, like seriously burnout and lost so if anyone can understand any of this i'd appreciate it im not the best with making sense with things so it'd mean alot if you could give feedback and advice for me to follow off of. thanks for reading my deepest darkest secret and i hope you all are having and are continuing to have a good day today.
#Venting
tame cypress
thorny wraith
Okay so when i was younger, i used to want to be a grown up so bad so i didnt re...
i cant directly relate but ive also had problems of the past holding me back and my best advice is you cant let it hold you back
think about it this way, each morning you wake up is a new day, each day is a brand new opportunity. You have to live life under the pretense that everynight when u go to bed that version of u fades and when u wake up its a new copy of you and all that you did in the past doesnt matter because its what you do going forward that matters
i know it will be hard because the past will always be a part of you but you need to live everyday like you are creating a new future
i live by the quote rather late than never
because no matter what you have done up until this point it is all over. i know it hurts and it is a shadow in ur life but no matter how much you dwell on the fact that you havent made progress or that you dont like who you are, you could spend the rest of your life thinking about ur mistakes and nothing would change because you cant change whats already done. Rather, you can change your life going forward
zero progress does not mean you have lost, it means that you have not begin yet. Even if its one step fowards and two steps back you are still moving forward.
Imagine reading a book, all the chapters before may have been bad but if you can start this chapter fresh and brankd new and make sure that everything going forward is written to the best of your abilities no one will look at the bad chapters, only the good ones. Because its not what you have done in your life that matters, its the effort you put in to try and make things better
you dont want to "turn things around", you want to be who you are going forward, do not let your dissatisfaction for your own past hold you back from changing in the future
live everyday like it is your last, enjoy the little things, let yourself be happy, and even if you slip up more than a few times its alright, its not about how much you have improved its the fact that you tried to improv that really matters, and you will learn to see that even just trying will make your day and your life so much brighter