#counting down days.

226 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

stone mango
#

i had a mini panic attack yesterday

#

my feet and hands were cold and shaking and also felt like having pins and needles

#

my breathing became shallow and it became hard to take in deep breathes

#

i am not alright, but, oh well

#

it's just life

stone mango
#

my parents noticed the scars on my wrist

#

i hate this, i dont want them to know

#

im not going to do anything for a while

stone mango
#

i can't fall asleep, im scared everyones is just going to leave and im going to die alone

i want to isolate myself from everyone, i hate this

#

im thinking of leaving this server, i don't really find a point

formal sluice
stone mango
#

because i don't talk to anyone about my fucking probelms, and one day out of the blue im just going to end up kms

formal sluice
stone mango
#

idk, my mind is a mess, i can't sleep, i have anxiety over the littlest things in life

formal sluice
#

you could try playing some peaceful relaxing music to keep your mind off

#

it's fine to be anxious over small things

stone mango
formal sluice
# stone mango anything, something as simple as not being prepared for school the next day, a ...

Well sometimes small things like jokes really aren't that deep, it's really all in your head. Realize that everybody has things going on in their lives, they won't remember small things you say to them like jokes

As for school maybe try to make it a habit to prepare the day before?

See sometimes we get so caught up in our thoughts and our thoughts turn into emotions and trigger our nervous systems and then we feel like we’re going to die. But the thing is you are NOT your thoughts.

Imagine a stranger tells you what your thoughts tell you. Why would you trust a random stranger telling you things?
Sometimes that's
exactly what your thoughts are, completely random small things that really don't matter.

Find a way to calm yourself down, whether it's listening to music or meditating, just let your mind be at rest distract yourself

stone mango
#

i can't

#

thats exactly why i cant sleep

#

i cant make my brain shut up for once

formal sluice
#

Is there anything that makes you sleepy

#

like just watching a show or scrolling through tiktok

#

Or boring music

#

You need to distract your thoughts

stone mango
#

not really

#

when im panicked and my thoughts are all over i never really consider doing anything like that

formal sluice
stone mango
#

i just end up crying myself to sleep

formal sluice
#

is it really these small things that make you anxious or is there anything deeper?

stone mango
#

there is, well, i've gotten used to listening to other peoples issues and helping them out that i could figure it oout

#

i took care of myself

#

and by that what i mean is, my parents were always bsy with work

#

i never talked to them about my feelings or anything as a kid, and the only thing they cared

#

was school

#

so i tried my best to become good, i am, but now in a toxic way

#

where i can't falter and get bad grades

#

im an exceptional student but not because i want to be, because i have to

#

things just got worse, im scared of doing anything wrong, sayig something wrong to friends or ppl close

formal sluice
# stone mango there is, well, i've gotten used to listening to other peoples issues and helpin...

I understand that helping others out is important but you are also important. Don't force yourself to always help others if you yourself aren't doing to well. Just tell them you arent feeling to well yourself.

Sounds like when you were young you kept your problems to yourself and it's been building up. Its definitely better to tell them to somebody and let it all out.

You shouldn't be scared of saying or doing wrong,because ppl close to you and friends wouldn't mind. Your a human, this is your first time living. Your bound to make a mistake, it's what you do after the mistake that matters. Your friends won't leave you because of a mistake you made, true friends would forgive you and move on especially if it's a small thing. If your loved ones truly care for you they won't leave you over a mistake you make

stone mango
#

maybe, but idk what to do, what if they do

#

it's my first time living, so is theirs i dont want to hurt them by a mistake i made

#

also, i just wanna thank you for reaching out

formal sluice
#

Hey -- I've been in a similar situation when I was younger. I'd get punished (not physically or anything like that) if I got lower than a certain grade (A).

Trust me when I say it does get better after high school (well, during senior year of high school after the stress of college applications). I also realized that, at least for me, the only way I truly learn is by focusing more on having fun/learning in that class rather than caring too much about grades.

#

(not sure if you're in hs, college, etc., I'm assuming hs since you're with your parents?)

stone mango
#

well, i've never been interested in anything science related but im still forced to do it cause my parents want me too

stone mango
formal sluice
#

freshman year is rough for many people

#

Also, your high school grades won't matter when you start working

stone mango
#

but for college applications it does

#

which i why im doing so much things

#

whether it's clubs, competitions, courses whatever i can get my hands on

stone mango
formal sluice
#

yeah, it does for college apps, but from my experience freshman year matters the least in terms of grades since colleges tend to be understanding about the transition from middle -> high school

#

even if you do poorly in freshman year, as long as you show an upwards trend, it'd probably be fine

formal sluice
stone mango
#

im sorry that happened to you too

formal sluice
formal sluice
# stone mango im sorry that happened to you too

It's alright, I've moved past it.

For me, things really did look up after hs! So as long as you make it through to senior year of hs, it'll be a lot more relaxing--at least in terms of grades

stone mango
#

i just don't know, im getting burnt out and i cant focus on school

formal sluice
#

I really do advocate taking a day off; it helps

#

even a couple hours off if you can't afford a day

#

not thinking about assignments, work, etc.

#

I know that it feels like a waste of time to do that, but if doing that means that you'd be able to focus on your work, it's worth it

stone mango
#

mhm, thank you so much for all your help
it was nice having someone listen

stone mango
#

I don't think there's a purpose in living anymore.

formal sluice
#

Why not?

stone mango
#

someone close to me is going through a tough time

#

i'm going to be there for them, even if they hurt me as hurt ppl, im going to stay

#

maybe im not mentally okay to be there for them, it could harm me too, but im going to stay

#

and help

#

as much as i can

formal sluice
#

That's honorable of you, but if they do hurt you/it gets too much, you should take a break from doing that

stone mango
#

i feel horrible

#

the person im trying to help

#

they've sh b4

#

i wish i could've been there

#

they regret telling me about it now

#

i never knew about anything

#

they always struggle alone, never telling anyone anything

#

i want them to open up to me

stone mango
#

i feel at ease tn

#

rn*

#

they opened up, i feel better now

formal sluice
stone mango
#

i think i have sleeping issues...

#

i started to fall asleep sometime after 5am

#

i woke up at 6 for school

#

im tired, alot

#

i cried myself to sleep yesterday, idk why it ust felt like my heart was shattered and each piece was impaling me

#

it became harder to take deep breaths, my chest felt almost as if there was something blocking me from breathing

#

oh well, i went to school anyway

stone mango
#

im tired.

#

on the 2nd day of school, i got my exam schedule

#

i have so many essays

#

theres so many competitions coming up

#

its a friends birthday party tmrw, im thinking abt what to buy

#

i just wanna crawl into bed, cry and pass out for 10 hrs

formal sluice
formal sluice
# stone mango i just wanna crawl into bed, cry and pass out for 10 hrs

hey it's alright do things one by one. Yeah exam periods coming up but you can get through it
You don't have to buy anything to expensive for your friend either don't beat yourself over these things. Your not doing anything wrong or anything
Sounds like you're overwhelmed with everything

stone mango
#

im so scared.

stone mango
#

If he doesn't get better, I'd say hell doesn't sound bad

formal sluice
#

don't lose hope, things will be better.

stone mango
#

my sibling got angry at me for no fucking reason, every being in me wants to break something and just cry for not doing anything right

#

but instead im just blasting music.

dawn osprey
#

i relate to you on that, siblings are tough

#

but things r gonna get better just ignore them

#

its rly hard tho yeah

stone mango
#

people next to me, those i see everyday, noticed the scars on my wrist
my anxiety has been ever growing, something that i did again to appear now i wish would just disappear

quartz sparrow
#

You don’t have to rush to not showing to showing. There’s arm sleeves, arm cuffs, makeup, even those fishnet gloves! The important things is that you’re getting better everyday cause you got up that day. Your scars aren’t something to be ashamed of cause they show you got this far. And that’s badass. People are going to think things, that’s just human nature.

stone mango
#

Idk anymore

#

My friends, only ones, I've known them since I was a kid

#

And all 3 of us do face mental issues and deal with sh, recently we all opened up to each other

#

Things were good until it was all there was, jokes abt the urge to sh, and it feels like everyone is competing to see who has the most trauma and sh the most

#

Its toxic ik, they were the only ppl I could talk to and now I can't

quartz sparrow
#

Why can’t you?

quartz sparrow
stone mango
stone mango
# quartz sparrow Why can’t you?

i don't feel comfortable anymore, if i do, someone brings up their experience which is valid and i want to help them but i end up getting talked over and it just ends up being comparing our issues

quartz sparrow
#

Sometimes you just can’t help them especially if you feel like you aren’t even being heard. These experiences aren’t a competition. It seems like you’re not being in a conversation just a venting session. Do your friends have anyone else they can talk to that might help?

stone mango
#

i don't think so

stone mango
#

i have ended up utterly alone

sand ether
#

Hmm

#

You wanna talk about it

stone mango
#

lmao i think i've lost it

#

i dont even care abt shit anymore

#

i just want to end everything

sand ether
#

Oh :/

#

Well

#

Don’t you have anyone else to share your love

formal sluice
# stone mango i just want to end everything

don't do it's not worth it
It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
If you don't feel. comfortable and feel talked over, the comparison of problems is definitely getting toxic so you should not involve yourself too much in it

quartz sparrow
# stone mango i just want to end everything

You may feel like that now but nothing is permanent You can find new and better friends You can find things you enjoy in life You can find someone for you You just have to be there It gets better

stone mango
#

oh well

#

i didn't end up dying yesterday

#

school was bleh but atleast i finished reading my book

stone mango
stone mango
formal sluice
stone mango
#

Maybe, just maybe I'm easy to love, but hard to keep loving

sand ether
#

Oh :/

#

I get you

#

I get easily in love with people

#

But when I meet then I get so comfortable that there just with me

#

And I might do soemthing not nice to them

#

And they just leave me :/

#

And it does suck

#

But that should

#

Let you done uk

#

You try your best

#

You can do it

stone mango
stone mango
sand ether
#

Yeah

stone mango
#

i've been better, i don't know why and even though there are a lot of things overwhelming me
im optimistic i don't know how long this will last but im glad

#

and also, im grateful to all the people that reached, all of your words have lifted up my spirits and wherever u are in the world, i love you :)

formal sluice
#

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better!

stone mango
#

i am so freaking stressed also, i think i have a migraine coming but idk

#

so...

#

i made a presentation for which I JUST MADE A SCRIPT, i have to memorize my economics notes :D, prepare for a speaking lsn and also finish my freaking chemistry record

#

:D

#

i am so freaking tireeeeed i dont even know how im going to complete al of this T-T

stone mango
#

i think im too much sometimes.

stone mango
#

i am

#

i speak too much

stone mango
#

i have so much shit to do

#

but im sitting here

#

scrolling

#

i can't get up

#

idk why

elfin needle
#

hey. i found this and let me say something, you dont speak too much. there is no such thing as "speaking too much" its okay to rant and let out everything you feel.

#

you got this. i believe in you KirikoHeart

stone mango
stone mango
#

I feel drained

#

I cried before taking a nap

stone mango
#

this week, i tried going to a counsellor; i went there on sunday
i was supposed to meet them again on monday but they were busy so we rescheduled to today, it didn't happen
i give up; even when im trying to get help it feels like every small thing is stopping me from doing so

formal sluice
#

ooof...

#

shoot them an email; they shouldn't let this happen.

stone mango
#

I don't really know anymore
I mean it's a school counsellor but I had a lil hope

formal sluice
#

It's great that you reached out to someone rl, at the least

stone mango
#

Thank you :)

stone mango
formal sluice
#

still not an excuse to miss an appointment

stone mango
#

Idk I just left a note saying we were supposed to have a session and I'll talk to her later

formal sluice
#

but that could mean that they forgot to show up

formal sluice
#

hopefully she responds to you

stone mango
#

Mhmm

stone mango
#

It upsets me a little but I just don't know

stone mango
#

so...i talked to the counselor

#

well, yesterday i was just exhausted and mentally broken so i had a lil episode

#

i ran to the counselors office and im glad, she helped me out

#

we exchanged nos so that we could easily book a sesh

formal sluice
#

👀 glad to know that the counselor was able to help you!!

stone mango
#

thank you!

#

hope you're doing well :))

formal sluice
#

I am, thank you!

stone mango
#

that's good to hear, have a good day/hope u had a good one

stone mango
#

i feel hopeless

#

im tired

#

i dont have the energy for anything

#

i just want to crawl up in bed and just sit there

#

im playing music incredibly loud instead of crying

#

i have exams from sunday, i havent studied anything

elfin needle
#

MiruHug i know a hug wont help but i feel like you need it

stone mango
compact horizon
#

stay strong

#

dont be afraid

stone mango
stone mango
#

cramming for tests tmrw 😭 i just finished bio, i have chem left

formal sluice
#

Good luck!

stone mango
#

it's funny

#

how after opening up

#

instead of being comforted

#

im the one comforting them cause my pain is theirs to share and it hurts
that is very sweet, but i just wanted help

stone mango
#

i've lost most of my hope

#

i think im gonna delete this page and just help others

#

im just tired

formal sluice
#

Deleting this page is up to you; just be careful to not burn out helping others and to turn to help if you need it

stone mango
#

thank you for helping me out always