#Matt’s Journal

1 messages · Page 3 of 1

brisk edge
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But never my sister

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Oh and then there’s the whole milk thing

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My experiment is almost done

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In 24 hours my experiment will be done

severe lily
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I hope your experiment doesn’t harm u in any way

brisk edge
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Oh lemme explain n

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So I drink chocolate milk

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I lot of it in fact

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And so my sister and mom complain I drink too much milk

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And so my mom buys a separate jug for her and my sister

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And so I specifically chose a jug for them that would expire August 21st

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And there’s proof they don’t drink milk when they have it

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So therefore they’re wasting money

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Back to the air conditioning

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She keeps it on 24/7

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It was literally raining not too long ago and is cold outside

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She’s not even home!

severe lily
brisk edge
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Oh what a great day today!

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Got yelled at by my dad after he came back from his trip

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At my favorite restaurant and this family behind me is so annoying

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They’re arguing with the server I know

brisk edge
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Literally fuck my life

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I have a friend whose life is on the line

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Another friend, I also have to watch so she doesn’t cut herself

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Somebody who keeps begging me to give them money even though I’ve told him three fucking times I can’t

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The amount of shit that’s been going on is absolute crazy

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I don’t think anybody knows this, but I actually Journal in real life

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I do it every night before I go to bed

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And last night there was so much on my mind that I wrote three full pages

brisk edge
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Oh my god

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Fuck my life more

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Fuck my life more

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Fuck my life more

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I need a haircut

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I need to shave

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I need to shop for school supplies and new school clothes

brisk edge
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I may take a break from this app

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There’s just

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Too much going on

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I have friends who want to die

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My family issues life

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To everybody reading this or has viewed this yall have a goodnight

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I’m just gonna play the game for the rest of the night

brisk edge
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Holy fuck, I’m tired of life

brisk edge
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Such a boring day

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I don’t Even feel happy playing video games

brisk edge
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Godamnit fuck my life one again

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I thought about starting to go to the gym and lift weights and so I can gaun

brisk edge
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Well gotta love spending $100 on some fucking sunglasses that the nose piece hurts your fucking nose

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It was fine it first

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But it makes my nose hurt

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Way to be more insecure about my body and shape

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I’m already skinny, I’m gaining a bit of weight

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But I have a big fucking nose that I was born with

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And no I’m not getting a nose reduction surgery

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Just absolutely fuck my life

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Everytime I make it a good day things go fucking horrible

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I tried to be positive and said my 1st day of school will go well and guess what?

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Now this shit happens

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Now I don’t even fucking know if I can return this shit or not

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Probably not

brisk edge
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I’m done saving and helping people

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Honestly

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They don’t want my help? Fuck it

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It’s not my fault

brisk edge
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Fuck this day

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Fuck the past few weeks

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Fuck these sunglasses

brisk edge
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Well

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Gotta love how your sister gets mad at your for having a simple opinion

brisk edge
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Godamn people are so fucking stupid nowadays

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They get triggered over anything at this point

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This one girl I’m talking to right now is saying my name is "boring"

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It’s my name you dipshit

brisk edge
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Gotta love getting into trouble by your dad just because you were playing video games and didn’t answer his phone call

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And he’s like "oh well I don’t get to see you everyday"

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Whose fault is that?

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Who wanted divorce?

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Who was Ordered to move out and get an apartment

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I swear he spams my phone with calls heyday

brisk edge
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I don’t even know what to say anymore

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Today

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Something horrible happened

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Something horrible happened and I didn’t know

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I honestly might cry or might throw up

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Because it’s so bad

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It’s really really dark

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Matt’s Jornual

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I deadass don’t mean to anybody

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I barely understand why people still care

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Or why they want my help

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Because all I’m doing is fucking up my own life

brisk edge
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Today

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My friend killed herself

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And I feel so hurt

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And I just feel sad

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I cared about her and wanted to help her through so much

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And I miss her so much

brisk edge
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May my friend Ellie rest in peace 2009-2024

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You were a good person who deserved a better life and deserved so much love❤️🪦

severe lily
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I’m so sorry for your loss Matt, may Ellie rest in peace ❤️

brisk edge
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So

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A lot of stuff happened yesterday

brisk edge
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She was just eating

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Yeah maybe don’t say "I’m gonna kill myself" and then say "I’m sorry" and then leave for 2 hours

brisk edge
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My god life fucking sucks so bad

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I have a dad who’s a helicopter parent who just wants to talk and see me everyday

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For the millionth fucking time

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Who’s fault is that?

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I start school in 16 fucking days

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And I’m not ready for this shit at all

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I’m not ready or can’t get over that this is the final year

brisk edge
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It has been 5 hours since she last responded

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So I'm really getting worried

brisk edge
severe lily
brisk edge
brisk edge
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She didn’t answer

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Well so a bit of ranting

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I watched a movie called 21 bridges

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It’s about a detective trying to hunt down 2 suspects before they flee manhattan

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And the reason the movie is called 21 bridges is because 21 bridges lead to manhattan and the NYPD shuts down manhattan

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Anyways great movie

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But watching it made me realize something

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Made me realize

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Spoilers: ||there’s a lot of corrupt people and liars||

brisk edge
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Life has been so hard these past three months

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At least my loneliness will be done when I come back to school

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But I still can’t get over the fact that I will be a senior in high school

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And then I’ll be off to college

brisk edge
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Matt’s Journal

brisk edge
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Gotta love it! Gotta love life!

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I’m lonely

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Still fucking lonely after 4 months!

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I have a sister who hates on me and my friend because we both are in special ed

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I have a dad who wants to hangout with me constantly but why am I upset about it?

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He’s a hypocrite

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Speak of the fucking devil he just called it

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Back to what I was saying

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He’s a hypocrite

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Telling me I need to do this and do that

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Just the same thing over and over again

brisk edge
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I also need a fucking haircut cause my hair is getting outta control

brisk edge
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Today was okay

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My mom bought me this

IMG_0738.jpg
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My sister is building this massive thing for me and wants me to pay her

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So fuck it. I’m gonna pay her to build 2 lego sets for $80

nova slate
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give it

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Now

brisk edge
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Hell nah bro😭

brisk edge
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I’ll have to take photos later

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But literally fuck my life right now

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I stay up until 5 in the morning

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And then wake up at 1

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I deadass don’t even feel happy anymore

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My life is a dumpster fire shithole

brisk edge
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Why is my life going downhill?

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Why did divorce happen? Why do people mess with me? Why do people act like they’re gay around me? Why can’t people keep their fucking hands to themselves!?

brisk edge
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And then something also big went down today

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My ex came back!

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That’s right

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The girl who dumped my ass the day after Christmas

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My god my life is just

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And she’s changed

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She has a new bsf

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I can’t believe why do I still do this

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Why do I still hate and love her?

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Yeah she broke my heart but there was always a something about her

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Just fuck why did she have to break my heart and why the fuck did she have to leave

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Well I think my mom is home

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She’s probably gonna yell at me for not doing the dishes

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But let me check

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Yeah

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She’s home

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Great…

brisk edge
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So she got me teriyaki and didn’t get mad at me🫶🏼

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So thanks mom❤️

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Anyways

brisk edge
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Shout out to @true yacht ur my best friend🫶🏼

brisk edge
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Why do people feel the need to record/post everything on social media nowadays?

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Cause my mom had this cleaning lady over

brisk edge
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And this cleaning lady asked if she could do a TikTok cleaning and do a before and after cleaning the room

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And my mom said yes

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Like I don’t want somebody filming in my house

brisk edge
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I’m not gonna stay up till 5 AM anymore

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I’m probably gonna start going to bed at 12 or 1

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School starts at 11 days for me so I should probably get my sleep schedule back on track

brisk edge
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What the fuck is it with people just saying the N word now

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I swear. I was playing siege just now

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And this is now the 3rd time I’ve gotten called the n word

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I hate that word so much

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This is why I quit that game for a year

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Cause I moved to Xbox and started playing more games then siege

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Back on ps4 I barely encountered any racism

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Not playing this game for the rest of the day

brisk edge
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Gonna see Metallica!

IMG_0782.jpg IMG_0779.jpg
violet spire
brisk edge
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Took some videos and got some food but

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There is something I need to vent about

brisk edge
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I feel so sick right now

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My head hurts and my stomach hurts

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I just wanna get home and eat and probably go to bed

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Fuckkk

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I already took Advil hours ago before I left

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I might deadass just take it and go to sleep after I eat

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I’ve barely eaten today

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I had a burrito, and a beef stick and a cheese stick and then a hot dog with fries

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When I get home

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I’m gonna get more food cause I’m really hungry

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Okay the pain in my stomach has sorta gone away

brisk edge
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Sorry yall my phone died

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Ima make some food right now. I’m hungry asf

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Big back time!

brisk edge
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I’m back from eating

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Anyways

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At the concert this one lady was just flirting with my dad when I was trying to spend time with my dad

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Like seriously lady fuck off

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I only see my dad Thursday and Sunday for dinner (weird schedule)

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I barely get to see him nowadays

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And then she was wearing his hat just trying to flirt and talk with him

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I’m just gonna say it

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Do not flirt with my single parents

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I won’t be able to stand to see them dating someone else

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This woman also hugged him and kissed his cheek at the end

brisk edge
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Why why why does everybody have to leave me

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So I can't cuss in my own journal?

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Great

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Great Great rules

brisk edge
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So I have to have dinner with my Dad again today

brisk edge
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Good news and bad news

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I feel more confident now

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But the the cleaning lady with that smelly perfume is coming back

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And I still can’t cuss in my own journal

brisk edge
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I got sent a duck pic by a dude

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And I’m not talking about the animal the duck

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Due to the ban on swearing of using the d word or f word

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He sent me a photo of his genitals

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This is why

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I have message requests on

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Because these people are absolutely disgusting

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I

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I’m getting rid of my sandwich

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I don’t wanna eat

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It’s always me!

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It is always freaking me

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I can never get a stop from idiots

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I can never get a break! It’s idiot after idiot

bleak pumice
brisk edge
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It’s always the idiots that keep just trying to bother me

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I can’t get away from them at school! Or even online!

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My god I just wanna punch another idiot in the face

brisk edge
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Absolutely so done with life

bleak pumice
brisk edge
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Gotta love how your dad is more and more of a hypocrite and just ignores the fact

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And lack of communication and then he gets mad

brisk edge
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So I went to go see Metallica last night with my dad, my sister and her boyfriend

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So they’re performing again and my dad got us tickets as well to go see them again tomorrow night

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And to be honest, I kinda do not want to go with him

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Now, why do I not want to go with him?

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He’s been real annoying lately

brisk edge
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What

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A horrible day

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So I can’t cuss on this journal

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Today I woke up and I played for a bit until the cleaning lady arrived

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The cleaning lady my mom hired is pretty annoying

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She’s just annoying when I’m tryna play red dead

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And then I go to my dads for dinner

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And guess what? He’s more annoying

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My sister starts complaining the Metallica show was too "Loud"

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Well no shot. It’s called heavy metal for a reason

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I tried talking to my dad about that lady and he just laughed

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And he said he doesn’t know who that lady is and she will be sitting with us tomorrow

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Oh hell no

brisk edge
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I’m so paranoid right now

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I got my school schedule yesterday

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And I’m paranoid

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What if I don’t have the same lunch as friends

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Or same classes as friends

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This year is the final year

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It needs to be perfect

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What if I don’t get the friends I want in my classes?

brisk edge
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She didn't do anytbing at the final show which was tonight

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I think she was either drunk or high at the 1st show

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Apparently she's from Scotland visiting America

brisk edge
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Well screw my life even more

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Do I even deserve friends?

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everybody leaves me

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My discord friends, my Twitter friends, even my PlayStation friends

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I have barely eaten today as well

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All I had was some cookies today

brisk edge
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Well

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I went to my fav restaurant and something happened

old laurel
old laurel
brisk edge
brisk edge
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I’m so tired of my life

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I barely make any friends

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Everybody leaves me

brisk edge
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Okay so

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Gotta love my dad being more of a hypocrite

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I was wearing the Metallica T shirt I got at the concert a few days ago

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And he was saying this other band was better and tried to debate me on it

brisk edge
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Congratulations I ducked up once again

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I post on Twitter

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I post memes and I asked if one of my friends could like my memes

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And it was a weird meme

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Oh my god

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Fix the censoring issue

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Literally everybody cusses

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I can’t even send the message of what she said even tho there’s no cuss words

cinder gate
brisk edge
brisk edge
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I start school in less then 24 hours and I am not ready

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So my mom lied to me and said the cleaning lady was coming over yesterday

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She didn’t come

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But now she’s here

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When all of us need to get ready for school

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I’m hiding in my room because this lady is honestly pretty annoying

brisk edge
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To hell with my problematic life

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So now I’m stressing crazy over here

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I start school tomorrow morning

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Nobody ever listens to me

brisk edge
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I have not eaten anything today

brisk edge
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Oh and since I start school tomorrow

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Apparently they made new rules that phones aren’t allowed

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And we can listen to music

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Time to go home soon and finish unpacking my backpack and get everything ready

brisk edge
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This shit is annoying

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I start school in a few hours and I can't sleep

brisk edge
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Alright

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I’m just get this over with

brisk edge
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Checking in right now

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This place is now horrible

distant oyster
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All you need to be is greatful

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For the shitttt

brisk edge
distant oyster
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imagine u didn't have them

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bur you do

brisk edge
brisk edge
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I don’t wanna return to school tomorrow

brisk edge
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So with these new school rules about cell phones and headphones saying they aren't allowed. But getting high and turning the bathroom into a party and smoking lounge is okay? Got it.

cinder gate
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Dont stop until they revert the change.

brisk edge
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I’m not a 6 foot something trying to take on the armies of hell

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It’s a stupid state mandate for no reason

cinder gate
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Tell your classmates to help

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Make an mob

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Storm the principal.

brisk edge
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It is not the principals fault

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It’s the state

cinder gate
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I didint see that message

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I just read the one that was right above.

cinder gate
brisk edge
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Okay you’re trolling at this point

cinder gate
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Ye

cinder gate
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Protest for a good cause

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Make school less boring.

brisk edge
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But protesting for this is bad

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It won’t do anything

brisk edge
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Another horrible day

brisk edge
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I barely talk in here anymore

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My life is so horrible

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Just everyday after everyday

brisk edge
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I think I should do a bit of a catch up

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Cause my dumbass life sucks

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It’s shitty

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I’ve been so shitty these past few weeks

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Being a senior in high school sucks

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  1. I started school and how has it gone? Shitty once again
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About 80% of my friends are in a different lunch and it’s just me with the 20%

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They banned headphones and phones so now you can’t use them at all in school

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Not even in lunch on your own personal time

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I wake up feeling sick

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And wake up having a headache from lack of sleep

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I don’t even wanna get up

brisk edge
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She lied once again!

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She said I "yelled" at her when I did no such thing

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Yes I raised my voice a bit because she wasn’t listening. But I did not yell

brisk edge
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My counselor reported me to my iep manager which is my math teacher and I was walking into class and my math teacher called me out into the hall and talked with me and then forced me to write an apology letter to her

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My other teacher yelled at me Monday morning for once again "yelling at the counselor"

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I wasn’t yelling for gods sake

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I raised my voice a bit but clearly nobody understands the difference

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So more news that happened

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My friend betrayed me at school

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She’s friends with my sister and said I was "annoying" and no longer wants to respond to me

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All because I asked questions about ceramics?

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I’ve never had this godamn class and I’m new and it’s been only my 8th day

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I haven’t used clay since 5th grade and she’s getting upset at me for asking for help

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This is another thing. This is why I don’t ask for help

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Why? Because everybody goes apeshit on me

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They freak out when I’m asking a question or they get annoyed

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Fine! You asshole! I’ll just do it wrong so then you’ll get mad at me when I do it wrong

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Another thing!

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I barely vent to anyone anymore

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Why? Because nobody believes me

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That whole "mental health matters" group thing is bullshit

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I don’t care what anybody says

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Do they really care? Do they?

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Probably not

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Nobody ever believes me about a person

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I talk about how I don’t get along with a person and they immediately take their side

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My mom and dad took my counselors side when she neglected me and got me bullied

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My mom didn’t believe me when the dean of students neglected me again and got me bullied

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My teachers didn’t believe me on my counselor

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Neither did my friends on the counseler or dean of students

brisk edge
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I absolutely hate school still

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There’s this one annoying kid that’s not even in our class and he just stays to hangout with his friend

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He has a free period for 6th period

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So he can go home early

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But no he just stays and annoys me

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He uses the same insults on me

brisk edge
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"Oh you’re Puerto Rican and don’t know how to speak Spanish!"

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I was never taught.

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"You walk funny"

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Lots of people walk weird

brisk edge
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My crush had sex with another guy

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Fml

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Actually fml

brisk edge
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Does anybody here actually care about my feelings or no?

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Cause my life is nothing but a horrible

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I wanna smash something over my head right now

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Because I swear it isn’t getting better

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This is now the 3rd time my crush has had sex with another dude

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It happened to me back in 2022, and then in 2023,

brisk edge
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I just hurt my hand banging on my chair after I couldn’t catch a fish on rdr2

fiery sparrow
fiery sparrow
brisk edge
brisk edge
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I’ll try too

fiery sparrow
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Just block her on everything

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Not out of spite

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Because it wouldnt do you good to be focused on her

brisk edge
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Starting another week

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Alright I’ll just get it over with and try and make things better

brisk edge
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Home again

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Another shitty day

brisk edge
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I feel dead inside

brisk edge
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Gotta love special ed classes

brisk edge
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Okay um

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Oh for gods sake I can’t say the word

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One of my friends used to be a adult film creator

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She used to have an OF

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This random guy who follows her sent me a random video of her

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Of what her “creating" was

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And it’s been on my mind all day and I wondered if it’s really her

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I Recognized the tattoos on her and the tattoos on her old content

brisk edge
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More shitty stuff happened

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Doesn’t it ever end?

brisk edge
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Sometimes I really wish I ended my life

brisk edge
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Okay so a bit of a catch up right now

brisk edge
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I’m so upset right now

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OH MY GOD LET ME CUSS

brisk edge
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I already wanna go home

brisk edge
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Well I got into trouble

brisk edge
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My mom was blaming me for some stupid shit again

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And so since me and my sister and mom were in the car

brisk edge
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I said: "hopefully you crash this car and get us all ||killed|| so I don’t have to listen to you anymore"

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She stopped the car and immediately said I shouldn’t talk like that

brisk edge
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My life is fcking horrible!

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My god it’s so bad

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Everybody just being such an absolute fcking jerk too me

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Like godamn I just wanna be happy

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But no it’s always people leaving me

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My best friend might leave me next

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We barely talk

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She’s always down everyday

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And I try to make her feel better and happy but I can’t do shit cause I’m down as well

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I just miss my best friend

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And I wish me and her were both happy so we could spend time again

brisk edge
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Woke up this morning

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Time to just get it over with

brisk edge
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Dealt with more bullshit

brisk edge
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I might put song recommendations in this journal ngl

brisk edge
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People can’t take accountability nowadays it’s so insane

tepid anchor
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WHy the heck is no one helping this man that maybe worst than me like his heart is so broken? I hope this person have a real person beside him now everyday able talk to him help him out

brisk edge
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Life lately

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So I had my homecoming dance tonight

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And I didn’t have a date

brisk edge
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How do I help a friend with an ||ED||

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I miss seeing my best friend happy and hanging out with me

bleak pumice
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Everyday they’re reminded of it

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What you should do is hang out with them

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Spending time with friends allows people to become more happier

brisk edge
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But she barely has any energy

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Also

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The cleaning lady came over to my house again and my mom let him play on my Xbox

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And I think he’s messed some stuff up on it

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It’s an unsupervised child playing on a $500 console for the first time

bleak pumice
brisk edge
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Just

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What a busy day today

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I helped out with my church’s festival

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Every October they host this Greek festival and my grandma is in charge and it’s a bunch of people from the city that visit

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I worked the coffee booth

brisk edge
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Shit

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Oh for gods sake just let people cuss

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Fix the filters

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So I feel bad

brisk edge
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I was honestly rude

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I told my mom about the cleaning lady’s appearance

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And me and my mom had an honest conversation

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And I can tell the cleaning lady is from a low income household

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Her hair is a bit messy, her teeth look a bit

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Uhh I don’t know what to day about the teeth

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I guess bad?

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I’ve complained about the alleged perfume that she has

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And I’m starting to think it’s not perfume and it’s just that she doesn’t smell good

brisk edge
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I don’t wanna do school this week

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I have missing work I have to catch up on

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A ton of it

brisk edge
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Godamn trolls

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Deleted his message

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Oh well I got a screenshot

brisk edge
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To the people who come in here to troll

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I wish you nothing but the worst in life

brisk edge
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Halfway through the week

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Almost done

brisk edge
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You gotta love being in the special Ed classes

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I absolutely hate them

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Why am I stuck in these classes? Because I have non verbal learning disorder and a hard time with math?

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Some of those kids in that class can barely count their multiplication facts

brisk edge
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Nobody listens, they don’t respect people’s space

brisk edge
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Nobody ever thanks me for the stuff I do

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I try to be a good person and people find me weird for it

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I said I enjoyed the conversation with my aunt and sister. And my sister looked at me weirdly

#

This girl who listens to Kali uchis in my class I told her she looked just like Kali uchis

#

And she didn’t even respond

brisk edge
#

My friend never thanked me for always being there for her

#

When she was being ||SAed|| by her brother and her step father

#

But what did I get in return? Me just having to stop her drunk ass from doing stupid shit

brisk edge
#

Well

#

My friend just left me

#

I don’t know what to say to people sometimes

#

I swear nobody understands I have non verbal learning disorder

#

People call me the R word!

#

People don’t understand

#

I can’t read people’s body language! I can’t understand social cues

#

It’s just so annoying

#

I don’t know how to help people

#

I don’t wanna return to school

#

Everybody is leaving me

#

I’m gonna be alone in the end

brisk edge
brisk edge
#

Thank god it’s Friday

gloomy agate
#

Hey @brisk edge

#

I have read some of the stuff that you typed in here

brisk edge
gloomy agate
#

I just wanted to let you know that you are enough, sometimes you might not feel like it but you don't need anybody around you to be reasonably happy

#

Just find some purpose, like a hobby or something

brisk edge
#

I try to be happy and I try to be enough

#

But some people don’t see it

gloomy agate
#

Why do you even care about the people

#

99% of them don't even know what they are doing even when it doesn't seem like it

#

Nobody knows shit in this life bro

#

Just enjoy for yourself

#

Pay a gym membership, pick up an instrument, start reading books, go for runs and stuff

#

Learn some new skills, maybe pick up programming or smth

brisk edge
brisk edge
gloomy agate
#

People aren't permanent

#

They leave because they think they can find better

#

Just focus on yourself, I am sure you'll find the right people in notime

#

Attend irl meeting and meetups and stuff, basically anything you can find that you are interested in

brisk edge
#

Okay

#

Been getting into some arguments with some people

brisk edge
#

God people suck at my school

brisk edge
#

I’m so done with today

hollow comet
#

Hug for ya

531c459d2d402cfa33fc448b6031c61b.jpg
brisk edge
#

Why do women love bad guys?

#

I’m a good guy

#

I don’t drink or smoke or party too much

#

It’s always the girls I talk too that like bad guys

#

Why do I suck at life oh my god

#

Why do I suck at everything

#

I suck at drawing, I suck at video games,

inland ginkgo
# brisk edge I suck at drawing, I suck at video games,

Hey man, I get that you’re feeling down, but you don’t suck at life. You're a good guy, and you're probably being too hard on yourself. Girls aren’t into "bad guys" because they’re bad, it's just a phase some go through. Being a good person will pay off.

And with drawing or games, no one’s great right away. You’ll get better with time, for sure. I’m here for you, bro. You don’t suck.

brisk edge
#

Well it’s only my 3rd day playing battle royale

inland ginkgo
brisk edge
#

It was at an A

#

But I didn’t finish the document I was supposed to fill out

inland ginkgo
brisk edge
inland ginkgo
#

It was good chatting with you I'll go sleep Catch you later @brisk edge

brisk edge
#

Let’s talk some other time

inland ginkgo
brisk edge
#

The cleaning lady has her son over again

#

And I might leave the house until they’re gone

#

Because I don’t really wanna watch this kid

#

The mom has to bring her kid with her so she can clean

#

And then me and my sister have to watch this is

#

Kid

inland ginkgo
brisk edge
#

This kid has no manners at all

#

This kid is like nine and he has a phone and he’s blasting videos like loud

inland ginkgo
brisk edge
#

This kid from yesterday🤦‍♂️

#

He left the back door open which my cat could’ve run out🤦‍♂️

median oar
#

Hy

brisk edge
median oar
#

Tf you mean huh

#

@brisk edge

brisk edge
#

You said "hy"

#

Either be respectful and take this Jornual seriously or leave

brisk edge
#

I swear I’m bout to crash out if another prick comes in here spewing some shit

brisk edge
#

Well

#

I’m upset with my mom and why?

#

The cleaning lady vapes and she got her nicotine powder in lots of spots

#

On my toothbrush and on the wooden heart on the left

SPOILER_IMG_1344.jpg SPOILER_IMG_1343.jpg
#

My mom just laughed at me and my sister when we said we weren’t comfortable and we didn’t want to be near her

brisk edge
#

My mom wants to give her a 2nd chance and let her smoke outside

#

absolutely not

brisk edge
#

Another argument with me and my mom

#

My mom refuses to fire her and wants to give her a 2nd chance

#

Why the f@ck would you give her a 2nd chance!?

#

she literally was vaping in the bathroom.

#

You don’t vape at a clients house

brisk edge
#

I wanna end my life

#

I don’t know when I don’t know where

#

But god just end my suffering

regal musk
# brisk edge I wanna end my life

No, don't do that.We can be friends if you want, I'd like to help you and support you as much as I can in this situation.I don't want a person to hurt himself/herself if he/she did nothing wrong.

brisk edge
#

Everybody leaves me

regal musk
brisk edge
#

Can never find them

regal musk
brisk edge
#

People done pissed me the duck off today

ripe lagoon
#

Im always here

brisk edge
ripe lagoon
brisk edge
ripe lagoon
brisk edge
ripe lagoon
#

I've been staying anywhere but home tbh

#

I only come home when she says she needs someone to watch my little sisters

brisk edge
ripe lagoon
brisk edge
#

And my day

ripe lagoon
#

How so?

brisk edge
#

I didn’t finish the essay. I was supposed to be turned in for English class yesterday.

#

So my teacher sent out an email

#

And she got it and then she berated me about it

#

And kept telling me that I need to do it like 25 times today

ripe lagoon
#

Sorry that happened to u

brisk edge
#

So now I cannot play my video games until I get this essay done

ripe lagoon
#

Do u need help?

ripe lagoon
#

I do that for most of my friends anyways

brisk edge
ripe lagoon
brisk edge
#

The rubric

IMG_1365.jpg
brisk edge
#

Called the the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime

ripe lagoon
#

😭 never heard of that before

ripe lagoon
#

Like what exactly do u need to write about

#

Any questions u need to answer?

brisk edge
#

Like what happens

ripe lagoon
#

Oh that's it?

#

Thats easy then

brisk edge
#

3 lies happen in the book

#

Which in the end they all make sense

#

I have to cover the lies and provide evidence

ripe lagoon
#

Ok, dw. I can literally finish it by morning if I lock in

#

I mean it's 1:19am here but I mean before sunrise lol

ripe lagoon
#

Like how long does the essay have to be?

brisk edge
#

I got it

#

I found a notes website

#

I’ll just use that for example but put it. In my own words

brisk edge
#

My teacher better give me a good grade for this shit

#

Cause I worked on this until 4am last night

ripe lagoon
brisk edge
#

God I’m such a failure when it comes to essays

#

I don’t think I’ll get a good grade on this

ripe lagoon
#

Don't say that

#

Im not one to talk but have some faith in yourself

#

I believe you'll do good

brisk edge
#

And then he’ll give me feedback when he’s done

ripe lagoon
brisk edge
#

If I don’t get a good grade on this I’m gonna be pissed

#

Cause this shit really upset me over the weekend

brisk edge
#

Gonna start reading 1984!

hollow comet
brisk edge
hollow comet
#

I've wanted to read that book

#

I'm reading Animal farm rn by him

#

Like, a past time thing tho

brisk edge
#

If I decided to die let’s say

#

Tomorrow or later on this year

#

Would anybody notice or care?

brisk edge
#

Got an A- on my essay

IMG_4447.jpg
brisk edge
#

Election Day tomorrow

IMG_1453.jpg
brisk edge
#

Soo

#

I think he might’ve won

brisk edge
#

Well Election Day is over

#

People are hella pissed off and depressed at my school

brisk edge
#

Cleaning lady and her son are coming over Sunday

brisk edge
#

So it got canceled

#

I need to do a bit of a catch up here

#

I think I might end up alone after high school

#

Everybody leaves me

#

I’m not invited to any parties or social events

brisk edge
#

Adding a turkey cause Thanksgiving month

hollow comet
brisk edge
#

So

#

Lot to unpack here

#

I’m sick asf rn

#

And I’ve been coughing like crazy so much that I’ve thought my heart was gonna burst outta my chest

#

It’s been giving me back pain, a hurting chest and sometimes when I cough too hard I end up hurting my ribs or stomach

brisk edge
#

Can’t go 10 minutes without having to blow my nose

#

I was blowing ny nose excessively last night

#

And blew it and ||blood|| shot out onto ny arm and into the counter

#

I ended up coughing up ||mucus and blood mixed together||

#

So yeah

#

A few people have Been pissing me off at school

#

My teacher took like 2 weeks to grade my essay and blamed it on he was too busy "hanging out with his fiance"

brisk edge
#

Gotta love your classmates texting you stupid shit while you’re sick

brisk edge
#

Everyday the kids at my table in Civcs ask if they can get a drink from my water bottle because every morning before I leave for school I put ice in my water bottle and I fill it up

brisk edge
#

Going back to school tomorrow

brisk edge
brisk edge
#

Going back to school unfortunately

#

Lots of assholes on Friday

brisk edge
#

My life is absolutely miserable right now

#

I think my best friend hates me now

#

I gave her space for a bit and asked if she wanted to hangout Friday and she said she’s busy

#

I’m sorry i tried to get you help but you pushed me away

#

My teacher also got upset at us yesterday

#

One of the questions was what would you do if a peer was being bullied?

#

A. Tell a trusted adult
B. Tell the bully it's not okay and stand up the peer
3. Comfort the peer
4. Walk away

#

She got sad and was sorta in disbelief that some of us chose that

#

I chose it. And why did I?

#

Because nobody gives a shit about bullying

#

People don’t care about other people being assholes to other people anymore

#

When somebody has a freaking out or breaks down people just laugh

#

They find it funny

#

When I was being treated horrible by other people. People laughed at me

#

In freshman/sophomore year this guy was treating me horribly

#

And I can’t even cuss bad about people

#

This guy was honestly just a prick

#

He lied under my name which led to people believing rumors about me being made

#

Which led to people coming up to me and laughing at me for stupid shit that was false

#

People just believed his side of the story and not mine

#

This girl also treated me horribly and people laughed at me

#

She played with my feelings and pretended to "ask me out" then said it was a joke

brisk edge
#

Everybody laughed at me when I needed help

#

When people were being rude to me

brisk edge
#

I hate divorce shit around the holidays

brisk edge
#

My mom is hating on my haircut for no reason

brisk edge
#

Gotta love today

#

The cleaning lady came over today and was going behind the tv and unplugged the console and turned off the WiFi

#

I don’t know why the hell she’s even searching back there

#

My mom has been nagging me like crazy and my mom said I’m a "horrible person if I didn’t tip my friend"

brisk edge
#

Context: my friend is a barber and he cuts hair to pay for college

#

And he cut my hair today

#

And my mom got mad that I didn’t tip him

#

I’ve tipped him every haircut but I shouldn’t be entitled to tip

#

So the cleaning lady came over again

#

This time she didn’t bring her son (thank god)

#

But she was annoying today

#

So she was cleaning

#

She was cleaning behind and tv and unplugged the game on me when I was just trying to play

#

This is my journal?

#

I’ll do what I want?

#

It’s also called "professional" btw

#

Now don’t interrupt my venting

#

I’ll do however I please in this Channel

brisk edge
#

Kept asking me questions about my game when I was just trying to play it

brisk edge
#

Can you not?

brisk edge
#

@haughty roost

haughty roost
brisk edge
#

Dude came in here telling me what to do when I’m tryna vent

haughty roost
#

I know. Sorry about that. They were penalized for it.

brisk edge
#

@pure jay

#

I just saw what you posted

#

And that’s an old text. And he lives in another state

#

So leave it alone

pure jay
#

?

brisk edge
brisk edge
#

Oh my got thank god he’s gone

brisk edge
#

Okay

#

I think I need to catch up here

#

Thanksgiving was pretty amazing I’m ngl

brisk edge
#

So

#

I don’t even know what the hell to do anymore

#

I may honestly delete this journal and stop using journals like this

#

Too many trolls, nobody ever checks in or responds

severe lily
brisk edge
#

Cause mfs won’t leave me alone

#

And cause mfs are being annoying as hell

severe lily
#

who?

brisk edge
#

I wish I was dead

#

Godamn this shit is horrible

ocean mural
brisk edge
brisk edge
#

2 of my best friends just left me.

#

I’m so done

#

I’m actually so done

brisk edge
#

Gotta love my dad just making fun of me for having hobbies

brisk edge
#

Got it for Christmas

IMG_2040.jpg IMG_2037.jpg
brisk edge
#

I’m so tired of my dad treating me horribly and being annoying over and over again

brisk edge
#

this is why I may never have kids

#

Because I don’t want my kids to end up like him or me

brisk edge
#

Well I fucked up

#

I am a horrible person

brisk edge
#

I deadass need new friends

drifting halo
#

Im here!!

brisk edge
#

Alright 2025 for me is in 24 minutes

#

But we push forward

#

I’m gonna become a better person and more understanding

#

And try and heal and make new friends

drifting halo
#

Ow

#

Yea you wil

#

And imma help you

brisk edge
#

My ex came back

drifting halo
#

Oh

brisk edge
#

Okay surprisingly this Hasn’t been deleted

#

I need to catch up on everything so

#

My dad pretty much treats me horribly

#

His usage of slurs is one of the things that honestly just makes me not wanna hangout around him

#

Speaking of slurs found out the girl I like says racial slurs

#

She’s from Spain so I don’t know if slurs have the same hurtful meaning over there as they do here in the US

#

acted like she didn’t even care so yeah that’s nice

brisk edge
#

She’s only coming back because she misses being loved by me, and is alone and has nobody else

#

Right… same girl who broke up with me the day right after Christmas

brisk edge
#

I’m actually so tired of my moms rules

brisk edge
#

I’m just done with today

brisk edge
#

Gotta love more horrible treatment from your own mom

cinder gate
#

And I thought my family were bad... Matt, fight through the hard periods in life. As long as you keep trying and fighting and never give up then you will make it.

brisk edge
#

They claim they love and claim everything is fine

brisk edge
#

I have been upset since last night

#

About literally almost everything

brisk edge
#

I’m so sick of people I don’t even know where the fuck to begin

brisk edge
#

People are really crying over TikTok being banned and are going apeshit over it

#

I’m surprised when I looked outside I didn’t see air raid sirens, fires, buildings on fire, people screaming

#

Shit this is the start of the apocalypse

cinder gate
#

Anyways Matt, got any interests?

brisk edge
#

I’m trying to get into gym more

#

Well lots of stuff happened the past few days

#

This shit is an insane story

#

I had a friend for the past few years

#

And they were a "girl"

#

Turns out they were a catfish the whole time

#

They gave me the real girls TikTok I guess?

#

I never confronted them for being a catfish since they’ve been deactivated for the past 2 years

#

But I found the real girls TikTok

#

(I did this before the ban hit)

#

And I contacted her and sent the stuff to her Instagram that somebody was impersonating her

#

And then I asked if she wanted to talk and asked if she was okay

#

Then she just blocked me

#

So wow I’m sorry for trying to be a nice guy and make sure someone was ojay

#

But I guess it’s just another episode of "fuck Matt"

#

Another thing has happened in my life

#

She might end up reading this but honestly I need to let it off my chest

#

I have a friend who honestly has given me too many panic attacks

#

She ||cut|| herself once so much that she was bleeding out and passed out

#

She did it again when I told her things were gonna be okay

#

And then the 3rd time she took 16 pills all it once

#

My friend relies on me way too much

#

Constantly over and over again

#

To be fair I do not respond to lots of people

#

But it’s just message after message

#

And they concern me all the damn time which shit makes me uncomfortable asf

#

A boy had stolen money from her and had run off with it and she chased him with a knife

severe lily
#

Wsg Matt

brisk edge
#

Then later on the next few days for 5 books about murder

severe lily
brisk edge
#

It’s insane

brisk edge
severe lily
#

If someone relies on you too much they using you

brisk edge
#

Just doing some self journaling and catching up

severe lily
#

Yea hope you’re getting better man

brisk edge
#

I’m trying too

severe lily
#

Life stressful asf for you ik

#

I hope you get better dude genuinely

brisk edge
#

You don’t gotta tell me twice

#

Just scroll up and you’ll see the whole show

severe lily
#

I already read it

#

Anyway

#

If someone’s relying on you like that

#

They aren’t a “friend”

#

Stop responding to them gradually

#

Ik you’ll feel more alone

brisk edge
severe lily
#

A lil

#

Dabbled in it

#

Skimmed

brisk edge
#

They need therapy

severe lily
#

But anyway

brisk edge
#

Like I’m sorry but they need actual therapy

severe lily
#

You need to gradually cut them off

#

Wait lemme read it all rq

brisk edge
#

I cannot stop someone from harming themselves and I cannot call 911 if they are in need of an emergency or are seriously wounded or injured

severe lily
#

U ever been in love Matt

#

Or no

#

Random question

#

Curious yk

#

U there gang?

brisk edge
#

But it failed

severe lily
#

Shit isn’t it wonderful

severe lily
#

Same for me

#

Painful asf

#

But yk that feeling

#

When you were

#

And they didn’t know

#

U felt that excitement?

brisk edge
#

Yep

severe lily
#

Didn’t it feel good

brisk edge
#

Basically the person I was dating was long distance

severe lily
#

It felt free didn’t it

#

Long distance is never good

brisk edge
#

Broke up with me the day literally after Christmas last year

brisk edge
severe lily
#

It’s a pain but you have to know long distance is never going to work

#

Yes but none of them ever worked out well did they

brisk edge
#

My best friend of 4 years recently had to drop me because her bf didn’t want her talking to any guys

#

This is a long distance relationship btw

severe lily
#

Oh

#

Well think of it like this

brisk edge
#

She and him lived in Germany together but then she moved to the USA (into my state by coincidence)

#

And he’s back in Germany

severe lily
#

You had a girlfriend

#

Think of it like this alr

#

If you had a girlfriend

brisk edge
#

Yeah?

severe lily
#

Would you want her chatting to boys?

brisk edge
#

Depends

severe lily
#

See

brisk edge
#

If it’s completely platonic that’s fine

severe lily
#

Yea but the thing is in a relationship,. There is care for your partner, worries

brisk edge
#

It it’s flirting or telling them they love eachother platonically then hell no

severe lily
#

See that’s the thing

#

Her bf would never know

#

And it’s not just that

brisk edge
#

She wouldn’t know if he was cheating on her either

severe lily
#

If you had a girlfriend, you’d know the feeling

severe lily
#

That’s boundrys in a relationship they figured for themselves

#

You fell outside the boundrys that’s it

#

Yk that’s his girlfriend

brisk edge
#

I’ve never met him

severe lily
#

Exactly, so don’t make assumptions

brisk edge
#

I never liked her romantically or sexually

severe lily
brisk edge
#

She was my friend

severe lily
#

I’m just saying they set boundrys for their own relationship

#

And you fell outside of them

#

Yk it’s reasonable

brisk edge
#

Yeah well she left in a period where I wasn’t having a good time

severe lily
#

If I had a gf I wouldn’t want her talking to boys

severe lily
brisk edge
#

So honestly fuck her for what she did

severe lily
#

That’s deserved ig

brisk edge
#

If you can drop somebody that fast with no hesitation. Were they ever really there for you?

severe lily
#

But time is never going to work for anyone

severe lily