Matt’s Journal

[ripe lagoon]

I forgot I had reddit until I saw 100+ emails from the app 😭

[hollow comet]

Holy shit, you have alot of followers-

Famous guy over here

[brisk edge]

Yep!

[brisk edge]

Ong

[hollow comet]

💀💀💀

[hollow comet]

Chat, is this a celebrity?

[brisk edge]

German, Irish,

What is the other?😭😭

[brisk edge]

I am fr

[hollow comet]

German Russian French Japanese Irish

[ripe lagoon]

German, Russian, French, Japanese, Irish

[hollow comet]

YES

[ripe lagoon]

Milo gets it

[hollow comet]

I am honored

[brisk edge]

Wait MJ

How

How are you all of those??

[ripe lagoon]

Technically that's all due to my family being all over the place. If I got back further it's mostly alot of family members from Jamaica, Africa, and Russia.

[brisk edge]

Ohhh

[ripe lagoon]

My mother is American tho. I was born in Germany. And Idk where my father is from

[brisk edge]

Don’t you live in America??

[ripe lagoon]

Yup! Moved here years ago bc my mother refused to learn german.

[hollow comet]

That's so cool! Basically all of my family is from Jamaica lol

I'm also part white but like I have no clue where my grandfather was from...

[hollow comet]

Matt, are you a jittleyang or a fuhuhlatoogan?

#deadmeme but who cares

[brisk edge]

Huh😭

[hollow comet]

Jittleyang or fuhuhlatoogan, gang?

[ripe lagoon]

Ohhh, that's cool to. 😭 I went to Jamaica like a month ago to visit some family. My grandparents told me ab how our family is of royal blood and stuff...it was a very interesting trip...left me traumatized tho

[hollow comet]

I love Jamaica, the warmth and everything

The people are uh

A little interesting tho

[ripe lagoon]

The fruit is AMAZING!

[ripe lagoon]

😭 yea fr

[hollow comet]

FR

[hollow comet]

😭😭

[ripe lagoon]

HELP!!???

[hollow comet]

💀💀💀😭😭

I had to, man

SKIBIDI TOILIET RIZZ 👅👅👅👅🫶🫶🫶😜😜😜😜✌️✌️💯💯💯🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

[brisk edge]

I’ve been only one

It was on a cruise

[hollow comet]

That's nice!

The people are usually pretty kind

Especially at the resorts

[ripe lagoon]

I remember my mom was on a cruise. She got so drunk. It was an accident I think she didn't know what she was drinking. But I had to drag her back to our room bc she was bout to jump and I can't swim. Neither can she 😭✋️

[hollow comet]

Oh my god 😭😭🙏

[ripe lagoon]

😭 funny thing is that wasn't even the worse of it

[hollow comet]

Oh my lordy lord 😭

[brisk edge]

My cruise ship trips have been wild as well

[ripe lagoon]

😟 did u get drunk Matt!?

[hollow comet]

I wanna go on a cruise but like, I am terrified of deep water-

[ripe lagoon]

That's so real. I was scared we was gonna end up like the titanic 💀

[hollow comet]

I remember I got tipsy once on vacation haha

I was like 10

Or 9

[ripe lagoon]

😭✋️ 10!!????

9!!!!!!

[hollow comet]

YEAH-

[brisk edge]

No

[hollow comet]

#not a flex

[brisk edge]

But there was this kid in my class that he got drunk

He went on a cruise ship

And he’s like 16 and was drinking

[hollow comet]

ONG

[ripe lagoon]

I got tipsy with my friend in New York. 😭 luckily my brother worked at the hotel we was staying at

[hollow comet]

I was lowkey so embarrassed because I tried to walk on water....

[ripe lagoon]

gulp "C-Could never- b-be me..."

[hollow comet]

Oh god-

[brisk edge]

You were drinking as well huh

[ripe lagoon]

I still do sometimes 😭 not like at school, work, or anything tho. Just when I'm locked in a house somewhere with friends or at a party dancing

I don't drink as much as I used to tho. The hangover is TO real

[hollow comet]

I wonder what a hangover feels like tbh

[brisk edge]

Like what house party

[ripe lagoon]

😭 Bro..

[hollow comet]

☹️

[brisk edge]

Like a smoking and drug party

[ripe lagoon]

No..more like a party no 15 year old girl should be going to but yet still does

[brisk edge]

So like

A sex, drug, and alcohol party

And smoking!

[ripe lagoon]

If u add music, sex, and dancing you'd be correct

[ripe lagoon]

Oh yea u got it!!!

[ripe lagoon]

Like shit. Don't drink vodka kids, drink water 😭

[hollow comet]

Vodka and rum are nasty anyways

Too strong

[brisk edge]

So you do any of those activities with drugs and alcohol or no

[ripe lagoon]

😖 UGH UR BANNED FOR RUSSIA FOR SAYING THATTT RAWHHHHHHH 😡😡🤡🤡👿👿🤬🤬👹👹🙀🙀🙀💣💣💢💢💥💥💥💦💦💨💨💭💭🗯️🗯️

[hollow comet]

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH WAAAAAHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭

By itself-

Needs to be mixed with juice

Last time I drank it without juice, I nearly died bro 😭😭

[ripe lagoon]

🤷🏾‍♀️ ik my great granny would beat u with a stick for that but I dont hate the idea of mixing it

[hollow comet]

I haven't built a tolerance yet..

Working on it

[ripe lagoon]

I just drink and dance. If there's a pool someone I hand out there with friends. But like, I never go to those parties unless my cousin or someone else ik is coming bc fights be breaking out. Like brutal "bite the curb" fights. And anything pisses those mfs off. They'll jump u for bumping into them😐

[ripe lagoon]

That's all good. I don't recommend drinking. And if I made it sound cool or anything my apologies. I'm tryna quit myself frfr before my mom finds a way to find out.

[hollow comet]

Nah, you didn't- I just been like that, and that's fair enough, I believe you can quit of do it in moderation

Lowkey, I shouldn't even be touching alcohol cuz I'm literally 14 but yeah

[brisk edge]

Ohh okay

[brisk edge]

I only drank religious one

Wine

[hollow comet]

Ah, I see

That sounds nice

[ripe lagoon]

Lol same. Im 15 so I shouldn't have even started. But curiosity got the best of me

[hollow comet]

Same man

[brisk edge]

Alright so I don’t mean to a party killer

But I gotta vent about somebody

[hollow comet]

Go right ahead

[ripe lagoon]

The first time i drank alcohol was actually the worse experience in my life ngl.

[hollow comet]

We're listening

[hollow comet]

Same tbh

[brisk edge]

I’m so sick and tired of my dad calling over and over again

[ripe lagoon]

Oh yea I'm listening to!

[brisk edge]

He’s divorcing my mom so he doesn’t live in the house with me or my sister or mom anymore

And he calls like

3 times a day

And for fucks sake

Just send a text message

I’m just so sick of it

And then he calls me to tell me he’s sad about life and that he loves me and my sister

That’s not my fault you want a divorce!

You lied and broke moms heart

You dug your own grave!

[hollow comet]

That all sounds so terrible. I am dearly sorry to hear that, Matt. That's his own fault.

[brisk edge]

I have been dealing with divorce since 2022

I can write a whole essay on it

[ripe lagoon]

I'm sorry to hear ur parents r divorcing. I kinda understand the feeling a bit bc my step dad and mom r getting divorced soon. He's in jail so idk how that works but ig it'll be happening soon. I recommend telling him how u feel, it's fr not like he can do anything ab it and u have to right to tell ur parents how u feel anyways. U also have to right to mute, ignore, or even block him if u feel the need. Parent or not that's harassment of a sort.

[brisk edge]

Divorces suck

[hollow comet]

I hope everything gets better for you, both of yall

[brisk edge]

I can give a whole presentation why

[hollow comet]

I really does, I mean, my parents split before I was even born and I barely see my dad

He was supposed to come Saturday but never did, I don't fully blame him tho. I just miss him

[ripe lagoon]

Fr. I feel like my parents should have been gotten divorced tho. Matter of fact they should have never gotten married to begin with.

[brisk edge]

So since they’re getting divorced!

I’m worried about getting married in the future

[ripe lagoon]

Oh no, I'm sorry that happened to u. I feel like Parents should really do better...it's horrible how u could just do that to ur own child..

[brisk edge]

I don’t wanna end up like my dad

[brisk edge]

I’m sorrry Milo…

That’s

Very early

[hollow comet]

It's fine really

[hollow comet]

That's fair tbh

You can do better

[brisk edge]

And then he tries to give me girl advice all the time

[hollow comet]

It's fine, it's fine.

[brisk edge]

I’m not taking advice from someone who destroyed his own marriage

[hollow comet]

Damn, really?

[brisk edge]

Absolutely nit

[ripe lagoon]

Me to. I genuinely wondering sometimes if I'll be a good mother or even a good wife. Or if I'll have an abusive husband like my mom, and her mom, and her mom. I don't wanna continue this Godforsaken cycle. I wanna do better, but I wonder if I'll have a husband who also wants to break the cycle. Someone who understands yk?

[hollow comet]

I truly wish the best for you when that time comes!

I'm sure you'll find someone who'll treat you right.

[hollow comet]

That's really fair

[ripe lagoon]

Ty! One can hope so!

[brisk edge]

For both of us?

I can’t even manage a relationship

[brisk edge]

I know I told you about mine

She left me

[ripe lagoon]

She lost someone special then

[hollow comet]

I can relate to that. But it's fine. I'm sure in the future, you'll find another special somebody, I believe in you.

It just takes time

Time that you have

[ripe lagoon]

THIS!

[brisk edge]

The thing with time is

What if I run out

And I’ll never find her

[hollow comet]

Never is impossible. There's always those possibilities in life, and they will come to you. I believe it.

[brisk edge]

I hope I find her one day

[hollow comet]

You also have to believe in yourself

You will find her one day

Have that mindset, you will

Hug for ya 🫂

[brisk edge]

Thank you Milo

[ripe lagoon]

Time doesn't run out, only other ppl can stop ur timer. So don't let them, bc ITS YOURS

[hollow comet]

MJ speaking facts over here 🙏

[hollow comet]

Of course Matt

You're welcome

Im boutta bust a nerve, I CANT BEAT THIS BOSS ON CUPHEAD

Clip joint calamity boutta piss me off

[ripe lagoon]

LMAFO meanwhile om over here making vent art and edits. 😭✋️ and it's 2:38am I should gts

[brisk edge]

I’m playing rdr1

[hollow comet]

It's 2:38 for me too 😭😭

[hollow comet]

Lucky bastard

I need that game

Both

[ripe lagoon]

AMERICAN TIME!!!???

[hollow comet]

FUCKKKKKK

[hollow comet]

Well, I live in Canada-

[ripe lagoon]

So real. I used to play that game with my step dad. Brings back actual good memories

[hollow comet]

But yeah, basically

[ripe lagoon]

Technically the same 🤷🏾‍♀️

[hollow comet]

Yeah, true

Hold on, chat

I'm cooking this rn

(Not)

[brisk edge]

The red dead series is amazing

[ripe lagoon]

Fr!!

[hollow comet]

I'm about to crashout

I give up, Deltarune here I come

I BEAT THE BOSS BATTLE YES

[ripe lagoon]

Congrats 😭

I finished like a couple shi ahh edits

[hollow comet]

They can't be that badd

Or bad at all!

[ripe lagoon]

Wanna see them?

😭 I belive I could have done better

[hollow comet]

Sure!

[ripe lagoon]

😭 I fell asleep lmafo

[hollow comet]

Same lol

Lowkey relate to the first one

And lowkey the third one

But they're good!

I like them

[hollow comet]

I viciously oversleep-

And uh @brisk edge, I don't even know what time it is for you but good afternoon, or morning or evening or idk

✌️

[ripe lagoon]

Tyy

[hollow comet]

You're welcome!

[ripe lagoon]

😭 lol so real. I'm so lucky my mom was at work today bc I woke up at 10am....I would have been in so much trouble if she found out

[hollow comet]

Really?

Sometimes I sleep until 7pm-

Then stay up until 8am-

Then do that over and over again-

☹️🙏

Which I need to get my shit together cuz school is soon

[brisk edge]

It’s the afternoon now

And my dad today was just

Annoying asf

[hollow comet]

Ah, I'm sorry to hear that

[hollow comet]

What time is it for you?

Afternoon for me too

[brisk edge]

12:29

[hollow comet]

..

I am like

2 or 3 hours ahead of you-

It's 3:30 here-

[brisk edge]

Ohh

[hollow comet]

Yeahh

[brisk edge]

This life shit is hella tough

My dad keeps being constantly annoying over and over again

33 days till I start school

Oh fuck I’m so screwed

I will have to work with that stupid counselor

I don’t wanna work with her at all

She literally supported a kid who was terrorizing me

This kid would follow me,

Run after me,

And would hunt me down

And when I tried to defend myself

I was the one labeled as the bad guy

Not him

[brisk edge]

Every time I try to mention my hobbies to my dad, he immediately changes it and says I need to play an instrument

I don’t wanna play musical instrument. I’ve been over this with him several of times and he just does not listen.

[nova slate]

dang that sucks

[brisk edge]

And then he wonders why I don’t wanna talk to him or I’m just distant from him

[nova slate]

i would hate that

i cant say i feel you truthfully

but i can say

that that sucks

[brisk edge]

It generally does

He doesn’t understand

He’s a hypocrite

[nova slate]

dang

[nova slate]

fire

[brisk edge]

well

What a shitty day today

I ended up crying

And why did I cry? Because nobody cares about my feelings

I’ll explain why in a bit

Basically because my dad always calls me over and over again

All the time

And he found me and said hi and then I told him to go away

I’m just so done of people not respecting my space

Not my feelings

Oh and then the best thing!

Gotta love getting my snot all over my hands

I found a bathroom and washed my hand a

I sat on a log and cried on the beach

So then

My sister is dog sitting for my cousins dog

While my cousins are in Vegas

And that’s all my sister says

She keeps talking about the dog sitting

My mom picked me up from my walk

And the dog and my sister and mom were in the car

The dog was just being annoying

My mom kept trying to talk to me when I wasn’t in the mood

We got to their house

And we just ate dinner

And ate ice cream

And while setting the food down

The dog tried to keep grabbing it from my hand

And the dogs tail was going crazy her tail hit me in the ||balls||

So yeah

Life is pretty great…

Divorce trauma, loneliness, school worries, not eating enough!

What can possibly get more better

Sometimes I don’t think I even deserve to be happy

[nova slate]

hey

dont think like that

you do

maybe it was a bad day

sure

i have bad days all the time

it fucking sucks

but you gotta find something

and youll

feel better

for me

its

well

its lilly

and

trust me

itll get better

[brisk edge]

It was going pretty good until my dad just doesn’t listen

I got smacked in the ||balls|| by the stupid dogs tail

I cried on the beach

I saw a group of people swimming and made me remember

I’m lonely!

I have nobody to hangout with!

Where are friends when I need them?

Nowhere not irl!

[nova slate]

hey

neither did

i

i resorted to fortnite fills

it was not great

[brisk edge]

I do that all the time

[nova slate]

but

[nova slate]

thats fine

we can be your friends

[brisk edge]

It’s not great cause it’s some 9 year old freaking out

[brisk edge]

Wdym

[nova slate]

wdym wdym?

im saying that i and whoever else who is her

can be your friend

you can talk to me

unless im asleep

because then its not easy to talk

but

hey

listen

ill talk

[brisk edge]

I sent you a fr

[nova slate]

i accepted

i gotta go to bed

i got school in the morning

sry

its 10pm where i live

i gotta get up at six

see you tommorow

[brisk edge]

I’ll see you tomorrow

[brisk edge]

Life sucks

[surreal crypt]

How old are you

You just need patience

Sometimes

It’s hard to find friends

But loneliness will not last forever

Trust me on that one

I moved to a completely different country last year and I went pretty much the whole year without a single friend

Nobody wanted to talk to me they all kept to themselves

And I too felt similar feelings to you

[brisk edge]

17

[brisk edge]

Are you an exchange student?

[surreal crypt]

My dads job makes him get stationed in different countries every five years

I’m different embassies

[surreal crypt]

Do you play any sports

[brisk edge]

I used to play baseball

[surreal crypt]

And if you don’t mind me asking do you think you have some Social Anxiety ?

[brisk edge]

But I’m gonna try out this year

[brisk edge]

100%

[surreal crypt]

That’s good

Sports is the best way to make friends

[surreal crypt]

Yeah usually at our age it’s very common especially for boys, I used to suffer from really bad social anxiety

But what I did

Was

Try to push myself every day

[brisk edge]

Are you a boy?

[surreal crypt]

Yes

[surreal crypt]

To greet somone

Just a random person

Like a cashier for example

And then maybe try to engage in a little bit of conversation like complimenting what there wearing or something

What are you afraid of socially?

[brisk edge]

I have trust issues

I don’t 80% of people

[surreal crypt]

Have you been backstabbed before

[brisk edge]

Yep

Happened a few months ago

[surreal crypt]

You shouldn’t let it get to your head though, not everyone is a backstabbed and if somone back stabs you that means there not a good friend

[surreal crypt]

Did they use you or something

[brisk edge]

It was my counselor

My high school one

[surreal crypt]

How did the counselor backstab you if you are comfortable telling me

[brisk edge]

She supported this kid trying to terrorize me

She doesnt care about discrimination

[surreal crypt]

I find school teachers/ counsellors to be very bias

[surreal crypt]

Was somone being racist to you?

Is your counsler acting as like a therapist for you like to talk to?

[brisk edge]

Not racist

Ableist

I have non verbal learning suprised

[surreal crypt]

What is that

If your comfortable telling me

[brisk edge]

Non verbal learning disorder*

It means basically

You can’t read people’s body language

[surreal crypt]

Oh

[brisk edge]

And so the son of a bitch made fun of me for it and said: "you’re in special ed"

Which I am

[surreal crypt]

Nothing wrong with being in special ed I’m in special ed, my dad was too when he was my age and he turned out just fine, in high school people are so fixated on bringing other people down because there still immature

Luckily people start to mature up in university and then after that

[brisk edge]

When I reported it to my counselor she laughed in my face

Fucking bitch

[surreal crypt]

School counsellors always don’t know shit

My school counsellor said my ADHD will go away if I stop using my phone 😭

If you can you should see a professional outside of school

Who’s more qualified

[brisk edge]

I already have a therapist

[surreal crypt]

That’s good

How are you doing with the therapist

Do you think your social anxiety is from the fear of people viewing you as weird because you have difficulty picking up body language

Social anxiety is usually temporary it’s tough in high school because of bullies and gossip but trust me it gets better in university

[brisk edge]

Okay

[surreal crypt]

Do you think your making progress with therapy

[brisk edge]

Yes

[nova slate]

Good morning to you too

Question: where do live

Like state

Or country

Or whatever

[brisk edge]

America

[nova slate]

State?

Cuz I live in tn

[brisk edge]

I ain’t revealing that

[nova slate]

Ok

That’s kool

[brisk edge]

Today sucks

[brisk edge]

I had to tell my mom about this cause she found out I was grumpy

She then told my dad and now my dad wants to have dinner with me tonight

I have to go to the baseball game with him and my sister tomorrow

And

I was forced to go

Because he always kept asking why I don’t go with him or my sister

And that’s why I don’t wanna go

Last time we went he told us this morbid story

About how his friend used to work in CPS

And had to deal with a lot of ||abuse|| cases

Like

What was the need of telling us that

He’s told me a lot of morbid stories for no reason

Like simply just driving

I remember when I was in puerto Rico last year me and my dad and sister were going over the main bridge

It’s the main bridge form the airport to the main cities

And he literally told us while we were crossing over this bridge

TW:Warning crime and murder story ||About this famous boxer who offed his girlfriend because she got pregnant by him and he got upset and shot her and threw her body off the bridge||

Like

He literally told us this while driving over the bridge

I’ll never see that bridge the same way ever again honestly

I have to go to dinner with him in an hour

Fuck my life

[nova slate]

no

itll get better

atleast your dad cares

however

[brisk edge]

Hell no the fuck it won’t!

It’s been like this since 2022

[nova slate]

that sounds like shit

[brisk edge]

If the divorce didn’t happen!

I woudlve been happier

[nova slate]

oh

im sorry

i didnt know

[nova slate]

how old r u?

[brisk edge]

17

[nova slate]

soon youll be able to leave

[brisk edge]

No I won’t

This is an expensive country

I’ll need to buy a place but

I probably won’t be able to

[nova slate]

Fr

[brisk edge]

Gotta love life

I fucked up once again

My mouth is full of blood

Because I actually bit my tongue

And it does not look good whatsoever

I cut it pretty bad

[brisk edge]

Gotta love people being pricks

I was in a gc

This guy told me to leave

So I left

And he said this

Lemme find it

As soon as I left

The sack of shit starts talking bad about me

My friend is dating this sack of shit

And yet my friend complains about him arguging

So fucking tired of these women dating these bad guys

And then they complain and say men are trash

Fucking clowns

I swear the modern day dating world has fallen

It is nothing but a game of both sides

"You’re not 6 feet I don’t like you! Hmph!"

His gf will probably yell at me tomorrow

And if she did I don’t care

I’ll tell her he started it first

Literally 2 of my friends

Let’s call her Z and L

[brisk edge]

Z is the one dating this piece of shit

L was dating another guy who was rude

He cusses at everybody,

And guess what

She broke up with him

And his good for nothing salty crybaby bitch ass started complaining that "broke his heart"

Stupid son of a bitch

That asshole pisses me off

And people have gotten mad at me before

I used to send these things to me and my friends

Just seeing people do degeneracy acts or Idiocracy

And we woukd just make fun of them

And we would focus on celebrities, internet celebrities, streamers,

And just people we knew

We would just make fun of them for being a dumbass

And call them horrible things

It would just be mainly accounts on Twitter

And we would just document society, the world, and how people react nowadays

I don’t do it anymore

We basically do what like

JoeyBtoonz does

He’s a famous YouTuber who basically makes videos on the world

I would send a video here but links aren’t allowed

He basically finds all these clips of people doing stupid stuff or saying stupid stuff and roasts them or makes fun of them

And i basically used to do that

I would just scroll on Twitter and find somebody doing sum stupid

We would talk about social media and what it’s done to people

We would talk about onlyfans and nsfw content

We would talk about politics and the law

We would talk would worldwide news

And the media and news

[brisk edge]

Gotta love it when you're up late at night thinking about the girl who dumped you and broke up with you so she could focus on school and her family and wanted me to be happy

I still miss her

[nova slate]

Oof

Damn

[nova slate]

Nuke him

Trust

It works

As long as you’re not within 15 miles of him or smth like that

[brisk edge]

Gotta love life

I have to go to a baseball game with my sister and dad today

And I don’t really wanna go

The game starts at 7

And my dad wanted to leave at 4:30☠️

Why so early

The city is only an hour away

[nova slate]

💀

hey

atleast your dad wants to be with you

[brisk edge]

I’m back from the game

We won which was good

But

Just

He was so annoying

[brisk edge]

Rant about people today

What is with people nowadays?

Nobody understands the words: "no" "stop" "please"

People are plain stupid and take offense to everything nowadays

[nova slate]

fr

[brisk edge]

Life rant: I’m gonna write it long this time. I’m so sick and tired of my mom and dad. My dad wants to do something with divorce since he’s divorcing my mom and they’ve just both been annoying lately. Yesterday I went to a baseball game with my dad and he was just being annoying. Made me explain exactly why I don’t like going to games with him

He wanted to leave at 4:30 when the game started at 7

And then he said "we’ll get free parking"

When 99% there’s barely any free parking

So he then changed it

And so then we end up going on the way there

And he just is like: "matt!"

"How’s it going?"

I answered with nothing and he was like

Wdym nothing??

Yeah that’s right I said nothing. I just saw you yesterday

And then when we got there

He was just being annoying

Asking a bunch of more questions of how we’re doing

And was like: "I don’t get to see you"

Whose fault is that?

[ripe lagoon]

Omg I literally forgot ab this 😭🙏 hru u guys? @hollow comet and @brisk edge

[nova slate]

his

[brisk edge]

Damn, fucking right it is

[brisk edge]

Shitty

Wbu

[ripe lagoon]

Also shitty but that's to be expected with the Inconveniences back in my life

[brisk edge]

My life is just a huge inconvenience all in one

[ripe lagoon]

That's so real

[brisk edge]

And then my dad keeps wanting to talk to me and see me every day

Even though it’s starting to get infuriating

[ripe lagoon]

Damn still?

[brisk edge]

Yep

Gotta love divorces

Ruins the kids feelings

Ruins marriages

[ripe lagoon]

Right. I'm sorry it's still like that for u. I hope things get better fr

[brisk edge]

Today was sorta ass

[nova slate]

Why?

[brisk edge]

Gotta love life

Dad was being annoying

The cleaning lady came over yesterday and she had so much perfume on

I can still smell it

Even tho she left hours ago

[brisk edge]

The smell is still here

She literally left at 6 yesterday

Here let me count backwards

Oh

If it’s 7:16 fn

that would be 24 hours

Or 23

OK, fuck it whatever it still smells

I don’t mean to be a dick about it or anything. I just think she needs to chill out a bit on the perfume.

Another bad thing happened

Another asshole tried to talk shit on me, but then they immediately tried to say sorry

I guess people are finally starting to realize that I’m not really a nice person

Oh and then another thing!

I couldn’t save 2 of my friends

I have a friend named L who sometimes || slices|| herself

And another friend named

Let’s call her

Mexican girl

YEAHHH YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

WHAT UP MY MEXICANN

anyways

Point is

Her stupid stepbrother

That son of a bitch got her hurt

Apparently he was driving recklessly

And where was I?

Nowhere to be found

I’m so sick and tired of people not coming to me and then they end up doing stupid shit

And then they blame me

Like wtf dym it was my fault?

It wasn’t my fault

Anyways he’s a stupid bastard

He drinks, he smokes, he does drugs,

This is why

In this country

We need to work on drug addiction

And reckless drivers

We need to take away driver licenses from idiots on the road to make our roads safer

We need to fix homelessness and we need to look into drug problems

Because at this .80% of the time I see somebody on drugs here in my country

And why I see 80%

I see people on the streets just laying down with trash around them

Or people just screaming or saying random stuff

And guess what?

Another girl has a crush on me

Oh fuck my life seriously

I cannot be in love at all rn

I still feel guilty for ending things with my now ex

[nova slate]

Why?

[brisk edge]

Because she cried?

Because I broke the poor girls heart

[nova slate]

I meant

Why’d you end things with her

@brisk edge

[brisk edge]

I wasn’t happy

And I wasn’t ready

To be in love

[nova slate]

Oh

Oof

I feel bad

[brisk edge]

Don't ping me you idiot @tall flax

@haughty roost this is now the 3rd time. @tall flax will not stop at all. He will keep doing this

[cerulean idol]

bro i havent even been here

i aint pinging u

[brisk edge]

Bullshit

I got a ping from you a few minutes ago

I told you to stay out of this chat

[cerulean idol]

got any proof that it was me?

[brisk edge]

The mods can check the audit logs

[cerulean idol]

yeah they can

and they will see that it aint me

anyways i have better things to do so cya

[brisk edge]

You literally pinged me in this journal

[cerulean idol]

get a mod to check the audit logs then

[brisk edge]

Stop being a damn fool and listen for fucking once and stay out of this area

[cerulean idol]

bro is yapping allat for no reason

it isnt even me lmao

[static reef]

Mrmindor just leave, just see whoever pings you here and read and leave silently and in peace

[brisk edge]

This is now the 3rd or 4th time. He is not going to stop

[static reef]

Try not to ping him yourself matt

[brisk edge]

Somebody get the owner

[static reef]

He's just trying to get under your skin

Be the smart one and dont give a fuck

Let him yap, say bs

[brisk edge]

Everyone tries to

It's always the same

I'm tired of this asshole coming in here causing shit

Because I've about had it

@static reef

[static reef]

I understand

But don't let them get to you

[nova slate]

Sounds like my something my brother would do

[versed pecan]

@brisk edge you got this man, you really don’t need friends if i’m honest with you, even if you do have some you’ll all part ways eventually

@cerulean idol and stop bothering people, you’re getting no cool points 😂

[nova slate]

Th?

[versed pecan]

?

eventually your friends will all part ways, this is how life goes am i wrong for saying that..?

how much friends does your parents have from childhood, that’ll explain

[nova slate]

Oh ok that’s what you mean

[cerulean idol]

aint even me bro

also stop pinging me here

and that is also not me

someone is tryna sabotage

its my pals alt account

anyways cya

[icy current]

How come i took a screenshot of your message earlier

[cerulean idol]

what is bro yapping about

[brisk edge]

I got this as well

[cerulean idol]

idk how yall even passed the discord captcha to prove youre not a robot

[brisk edge]

Do you not listen?

Stay out of this channel

Oh my

Thank god he’s banned

[nova slate]

Fr

[brisk edge]

Gotta love today

Woke up to this fucking idiot in my journal

Thank god he’s banned

And ofc he spams this

[gleaming veldt]

Do you find yourself at odds with people frequently?

[brisk edge]

No? That dude which I refer to as the idiot was a troll

But yes I dislike a few people

[gleaming veldt]

Do you guys have history? It seems like your last journal had people trolling as well.

[brisk edge]

Basically one day he kept coming in and trolling

And he finally was banned today after a while

[brisk edge]

I had a 1st journal. That one I had since the winter of last year or something and then I had to delete that one

[gleaming veldt]

What constitutes trolling?

[gleaming veldt]

How come?

[brisk edge]

Cause since they discovered it. They kept coming back and back

[brisk edge]

They would send links and memes. And when asked to leave they would refuse

[gleaming veldt]

What do you think leads these individuals to "troll" you?

[gleaming veldt]

Unfortunate, hopefully you'll be able to keep this one.

[brisk edge]

My issues

That’s what most trolls go after

Stuff that people gave problems such

[gleaming veldt]

Well, that's the ammunition but do you think it's the cause?

[brisk edge]

Probably not

[gleaming veldt]

Your issues seem to be fairly relatable to many

[gleaming veldt]

What do you think the cause it then? If you had to guess

[brisk edge]

Well when you got parents getting divorced, a shitty school counselor, starting senior year next month, lose friends, insecure about stuff and lonely

[brisk edge]

Once again. Idek trolls are stipid

[gleaming veldt]

The teenage experience

[gleaming veldt]

Do you say mean stuff to them?

[brisk edge]

Yeah

[brisk edge]

You should see me at school

I did not get along with a bunch of people

[brisk edge]

Fuck my life.

[brisk edge]

Gotta go on a bit of a rant

Just tryna play video games

And gotta love how your teammates keep leaving the game

Why even play the game if you’re just gonna leave

Anyways

If anybody wants to play R6 or Fortnite with me just dm me

[brisk edge]

I got called the n word in an R6 game

Gotta love online shit. People are too comfortable saying stuff they would never say irl

[gleaming veldt]

Do you say things online that you would struggle to say to someone's face irl?

[brisk edge]

No

[gleaming veldt]

honestly quite surprising. I respect it. I try to conduct myself in the same manner

[brisk edge]

I got called the n word on r6 today

[brisk edge]

Life was being ass today once again

[brisk edge]

It has been over 48 hours and it still smells like her perfume

I swear it’s honestly annoying me

My life is doom eternal in a nutshell

[brisk edge]

🤦‍♂️

So my Xbox username is in my profile

It’s below

And this dude

Just randomly messages me

Adds me on Fortnite

Adds me on Xbox

And I’m wondering who is this dude

And this girl gave this dude my username without my permission

Is it really that hard to ask for permission? I swear people are so fucking stupid nowadays

And now she’s claiming it’s forced

[brisk edge]

My life is so bad

I'm freaking out right now because I brushed my teeth and my gums are bleeding

So now i might have gingivitis

[severe lily]

have u brushed ur teeth frequently and well lately?

[brisk edge]

Yes and no

[severe lily]

Bleeding gums is normal as long as it’s not a lot of blood.

[brisk edge]

It’s not all bleeding

Just a part of it was

[brisk edge]

So

I may have gingivitis

I haven’t been flossing so

Yeah

[brisk edge]

Oh and turns out in her bio it said: "I love Matt"

Great

I thinks she lieks me

Even tho I don’t like anybody or love anybody romantically

[nova slate]

thats good and bad at the same time

[brisk edge]

No, it’s bad

I don’t wanna date anybody

[nova slate]

hey but atleast you know someone loves you

[brisk edge]

Yeah yeah whatever

Fuck love

I can never win at it or never find it

But

So now my gums hurt

I just got into an argument with my mom

Great

I was trying to find the floss since my mom told me it was in the bag

But which fucking Bag? You have so much boxes and bags everywhere?

I don’t know which fucking bad it is! You make false promises Everytime to clean up the bags and boxes and it’s made the house a mess for years and then you mess it up again and then blame and demand us to help you when it’s your own fucking fault!

So then she’s at the kitchen table telling me to find it

There’s bags everywhere so which fucking bag is it?

And then

She finally gets up from the kitchen table

It’s not even in the bag it’s on the counter

Yeah thanks mom for the misinformation when you said it was in the fucking bag

And then she and other people wonder why I don’t ask for help

Because when I ask for help. They freak out at me for no reason

They get upset when I ask or double check

I’m just trying my best and yet you can’t see that

And so then I found one floss and then I decided to walk away to tell her I’m fine

And guess what?

She gets mad telling me to take the rest

You just got mad at me for looking around when the bags everywhere is your own fault

I then try and walk away

And tell her to stop arguing

And she eventually keeps telling me to come back

Thank you dad for leaving me in this household where mom does nothing but messes up the house and blames everybody

Thank you dad for breaking her heart and turning her into a sexist

Annoying

Narcissistic and nagging person

And hypocritical person

Gotta love divorce in America

Ruins the Kids

Ruins family vacations

Separates Christmases and birthdays

I’m still lonely

Isn’t that great as well? Been lonely since May and everybody is still busy

Well I’m off to go play the game

See everybody later

[cinder gate]

We can be friends if you want.

[brisk edge]

Sure Johnny

[cinder gate]

(:

[versed pecan]

dont self diagnose, go and get it checked

ur gums bleed if u dont properly floss dont stress

[versed pecan]

and u should clean the house, your mother may be tired look at stuff from her shoes sometimes

cleaning the house is self soothing to me

helps me clear my mind

[brisk edge]

It’s pretty obvious

I have all the symptoms

[brisk edge]

Well r

Rant time

I don't know why I'm still alive or why I'm still here. I'm lonely and barely anybody wants to be my friend it sucks.

Why do I still keep suffering

Why is it always me

I'm always the one targeted for jusy minding my own business at school

I just want to be happy again

Everytime I try to make things better or happier. I overthink and ask if they like me or not

Sorry, I have trust issues and abandonment issues

The last few years sucked

My parents are getting a divorce

My dad's side of the family turned on me and my sister and dad

The girl I was deeply so in love with left me

[brisk edge]

I'm ashamed to admit it

I'm depressed

When it gets dark outside

I feel a bit dead inside

Everytime I feel like when I try and make things better it backfires

I'm scared of life

[brisk edge]

It's now 5am. I'll have to exist later today but I'll try and sleep off my worries and pain

[brisk edge]

Been going crazy on these wins

[true yacht]

2 OF THOSE WERE FROM DIFFERENT DAYS

[brisk edge]

Shut up

I got you those wins

You suck at the game

[true yacht]

I will bump you off a cliff with your own car

[brisk edge]

Nuh uh

Just hop on my level

[true yacht]

Yuh huh

[true yacht]

I will spam that one emote you hate the next time we play

[brisk edge]

1V1 THEN

HOP ON RN

ILL SMOKE YOU

CMON

GET ON

LETS GO

SQAURE UP

[true yacht]

No ty I need my beauty rest

[true yacht]

BITCH SQUARE UP IRL

ILL PULL UP

WATCH

[brisk edge]

Yeah time for bed kid

Gts

It’s past ur bedtime

[true yacht]

Are you off your meds again gramps

It’s time for bed grandpa!

[cinder gate]

Matt we can play sometime if you are availabale.

[brisk edge]

Oh bet

[brisk edge]

Check DMs

[cinder gate]

Are you able in like 1-2 hours?

[brisk edge]

I’ll try

Life sucks once again

And why does it suck again? I’m still lonely and less then a month until I start school

[brisk edge]

Gotta love how I’m tryna do challenges to get a skin on Fortnite and yet people keep killing me

Fucking idiots

[brisk edge]

I keep dying over and over and over again

I swear

[cinder gate]

Yea pepole do that sadly.

[brisk edge]

I got killed so many times

But at least I got them done

[cinder gate]

Nice

[brisk edge]

Instead of me going on rants in this journal. I might do song recommendations and share the music I like

[brisk edge]

The amount of stupidity I’ve dealt with in the last few days is crazy

[brisk edge]

She still hasn’t replied or said anything

[brisk edge]

I hate how I’m the most insane and crazy person in my family

My mom and dad view my sister as the perfect child

I generally hate my school life

I generally have hated it so much

Ever since divorce my school life became hard

My sister doesn’t have severe adhd, non verbal learning disorder, or people being rude to her all the time

Kids last year treated me horribly

[brisk edge]

She doesn’t have a dad always trying to get on her about everything

Everytime I get into the car when it’s just me and him

He always asks

"Have you thought about college?"

"What do you wanna do"

It’s the same fucking thing! Over and over again and what’s my answer? "I don’t know"

And then there’s the troll

Another troll was in this server

And was being annoying and disrespectful. But they got banned

Tired of these trolls in here

[brisk edge]

Oh and congratulations again!

I failed once again to stop my friend from cutting?

What was I doing now?

I was shopping for sunglasses

Wasn’t on the game! Wasn’t on a walk!

But shopping for sunglasses

And I wasn’t there to stop her

You fucking idiot you fucking idiot

Why didn’t you stop her?

Because you didn’t know! And she keeps doing it and won’t stop!

I’m not even joking. This has gotta be the 8th time this has happened

All over a pair of sunglasses

So that happened

I just want my sunglasses and wanna go back outside on walks on the waterfront. I haven’t been in like a week

[brisk edge]

So I’m gonna go to the store later today

The try on sunglasses

[brisk edge]

Don’t you love it when you have a hypocritical sexist mom who’s getting divorced and takes everything out on you because your the only boy left of the house and doesn’t do anything about your sister and doesn’t yell or doesn’t get mad at her.

Don’t you love it when you have a drunk friend who’s drinking her life away and wants more drinks and sex and no matter how much you care about her she doesn’t want your help

But who does in general?

Who actually wants my help?

I can’t even help myself

My mom doesn’t care about my opinions on people

She took the dean of students side and the counselors side over her own son last year

Over me! When those 2 ladies would brush me off and when I would report something. They wouldn’t do their job

This is why I don’t support single mothers

Single mothers raise horrible people

And if somebody comes into this journal trying to fight me on my opinion I swear

[violet spire]

It’s heartbreaking to hear your situation.

I’m really sorry you have to go through this.

[brisk edge]

If divorce never happened

I possibly would’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been in years

[brisk edge]

I just wanna be happy.

So much is going on

[brisk edge]

New rant

My mom and the fucking air conditioning

I swear

She turns it on downstairs goes upstairs

Turns it on upstairs goes downstairs

[severe lily]

I couldn’t read everything, (I’ll find time soon to do it) I completely understand how it feels when your mom takes your anger out on you

[brisk edge]

She always turns it on too high which makes it cold and when you try and turn it down she gets mad

[severe lily]

My mom does the same

She always gets mad about little things and then it escalates

[brisk edge]

She’s turned into a sexist and hypocritical rude woman

[severe lily]

that sounds horrible 😕

[brisk edge]

Now why is she sexist you may ask?

I don’t do the dishes she gets mad at me and tells me to get off the game

My sister doesn’t do the dishes? My mom doesn’t say anything

On school nights my sister is allowed to stay up until 11

But I have to be in bed by 9

[severe lily]

Don’t blame yourself for it, you didn’t know

[brisk edge]

And she’s like well I want you to go to bed early so you can wake up on time

I do wake up on time

My sister falls back asleep and makes us late

[severe lily]

That sounds awful

[brisk edge]

So there’s the dishes and the sleep

What else?

Oh everytime when my mom has to go to the store

She drags one of us along

She takes me