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I have a friend named Jayanti who I'm incredibly close with. He's like a brother to me, and vice versa. And that might be a bad thing because what if I end up hurting him. I hate the person I am inside because I can't feel normal. I don't think I'm depressed, and I'm generally happy, I guess. We like to do wrestling stuff together as we're both fans, and I run my own company on 2k which he joined a long time ago, and we've been friends since then.
He was always on his phone but his dad would always take it away, but he would always find a way to talk to me and whatnot, whether or not he had his phone, whether it be using his school chromebook, or when school ended, even his TV. We would call every day for hours. I was kind of like his guy and I still am I'm sure... But why don't I feel that way? He got his phone back finally a few days ago, and I was happy. But now we call a little less during the day and why do I get so jealous when he talks to people in other companies? We like to roleplay as characters and we do it a lot, and it's always fun. But ever since he got his phone back and we talk less than usual it hurts... And I don't know why. I feel horrible and I hate feeling this way because I know it's not a big deal, I know it. It's affecting me in ways it shouldn't, where I get a really bad pain in my chest and I get so jealous and I hate to label myself as this, but I feel obsessive sometimes, and he doesn't deserve it.
I don't understand why my brain keeps making it a big deal that he talks to other people... He did it before this and it still made me feel this way but to a lot lighter of an extent... But now that he got his phone back after almost a month or more of talking to me every day all day, It hurts so bad, and it doesn't feel like it's getting better. I get on the verge of tears and it clouds my mind all the time whether I'm with family or other friends. I hate feeling this way and I shouldn't care about any of this... I know. Please help me.
tardy turtle