#vias diary

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

graceful umbra
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so it all started when I was 11 in elementary school

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I had developed quicker than the other girls, boys began to notice me and my friends became very jealous

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my friends excluded me from the group and cyber bullied me online as well as left me a death threat note in my backpack.

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I came home crying I went straight to the bathroom and flushed the note down the toilet. I was far too ashamed to share with anyone else.

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those girls told me I should kill myself and cut my wrists.

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that was the first time I gave in.

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I went to my dad's tool box and found a box cutter. I sliced a couple Times and I felt distracted by the pain they had caused. I was now focused on my physical pain.

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when it was graduation day, I had no one sitting next to me. I left that school with no friends, no one, nothing.

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when it was time for middle school I joined a friend group. but I felt excluded my best friend in the group.

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so I decided to write her a private letter

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she ended up reading the private letter out loud to the whole lunch table

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I felt so miserable and panicked.

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I went straight to the bathroom and had a panic attack.

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my mom came to pick me up and I told her I'm never coming back.

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that was the end of that.

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I decided to give homeschooling a try.

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I looked into making friends online and that's when I found discord.

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discord became my everything.

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I was active on it every day.

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although I was making connections online I was still missing true real life connection

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I became so lonely and depressed I tried to kill myself.

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I got sent to a mental hospital.

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I was dead. they had to revive me.

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although my mental health still wasn't that great. I stole forks from the cafeteria, broke them in half and cut my wrists. or used the sharp ends of toothpaste. I even pulled out a nail from the bathroom wall.

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I eventually got discharged and the cycle started again.

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so I did.

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that night, the cops came to my house to ask me questions

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I told them everything.

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the cops came to my house again to ask some more questions today

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their are detectives looking into this.

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so apart from that, I got kicked out of my house today

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my parents found a razor blade in my room and said I cant be self harming. because it puts myself and others at risk.

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so they kicked me out.

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I'm planning on sleeping in the gas station.

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my parents stole my 3 devices that I paid for, my diary, and my || sex toys ||

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I'm still very angry with them.

sick flax
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jesus

sick flax
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im very sorry that you going through this

graceful umbra
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thanks

sick flax
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if you need to talk about it we can dm if you want

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but i don't have any solution to your problem though, i can only tell you what i went through which is similar to your situation

graceful umbra
graceful umbra
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just got off the phone with the cops

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my friend Dylan

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who was from the server was threatening to kill himself

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he sent me pictures of himself with two shot guns and said he's ending his life

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I felt scared for him so I called the cops

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then he blocked me

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he also ended up telling me it was just a joke him and his friends were doing a bet

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why the fuck would someone joke about that

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thats actually fucked up

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I'm overhere shaking because I'm trying to help someone and they're just using me for a laugh

graceful umbra
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my parents are kicking me out again

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but this time permanently

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and they're giving me a 30 day notice

calm void
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Is there any shelters in your area?