I'm going to preface this with I probably just need therapy but I have no interest in mandated reporters if you can understand that, with that being said here goes.
So I'm really lost I just had my 22nd birthday this last weekend, and with that I took a trip to the twin cities, with my being from about 4 hours north of the cities about 20 mins from the closest walmart where I happen to work nightshift.
Coming down to the cities has really like struck a nerve with me, and made me realize it's been 4 years now that I've been out of highschool, and I have absolutely nothing going for me, my job while being pretty much the best paying job outside of degrees
Additonaly I haven't been able to romantically talk to a girl since I got completely unexpectedly dumped by a girl I was mistakenly very quickly engaged too, which in my defense we were together about 2 years and I just didn't want to lose her as I knew, exactly this would happen, but I don't even think I'm an extremely ugly guy, I definitely feel like I have a fair bit to bring to the table but I haven't even had the chance to even talk to someone, regardless of being on pretty much every dating app in existence for my age range.
What really seemed to bring me over the edge with this is that for my birthday we went to the strip club, specifically the seville club downtown and I know it's just there job but a girl there talked to me for a few hours, I got a couple dances and we all left, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about her, the tiny bit of female touch and her atleast pretending like she cared made me feel better than I ever have in my life and I just really think I might be fucked.
I'm just completely clueless on what or where I wanna go or do with my life, God forbid any clue on a way to get there, my mom works a job that pays less than me so I can't ask her for advice she's living my grandpa just to not pay rent. I never see myself ever being able to save for a house I just need someone to talk