hexed bay
So. Recently I’ve been struggling a lot in 10-14 mental issues, parents and school.
It’s basically how i want to ||s/h|| and ||die|| i’ve been ||suicidal|| since 4 but I can’t ||kill|| myself for some reason.. I can’t lash out or anything. It’s like my body is forcing me into people pleaser i can’t reach that anger and rage that’s stuck. I’ve been struggling with insomnia and I can’t sleep, and PTSD and other mental issues. I tried to reach for help with my parents but my mom doesn’t believe me and i have separated parents so i can never celebrate fathers day or his birthday. Only my mom. I tried reaching out to the teacher but i keep breaking down and then my mind gets into a mess. I’ve talked to another teacher but didn’t explain all of it cause i wasn’t ready. And i just feel so lonely and useless in school that i’m a outcast. I just give up on life and quit. I can’t handle it anymore. It’s too much tangles in my head for me. It’s like i’m going mentally insane. People only use me for snacks and only notice me when i start crying and start acting all nice. I feel so hopeless and empty because i’m always the one person who no one ever talks to but only if they need a favour or snacks. I just hate myself so much. No one even cares or bothers to even say hi to me or respond to me. Just ignore me. It’s just i feel so isolated and lonely and i’m just slowly losing my sense of emotions. Once someone even called me annoying. It lead me to crying in the bathroom everyday. I just have so much pain, tangles and rage in my mind. I can’t deal with it anymore. I just feel emptiness and no hope left in my heart. My hearts just broken into millions of pieces already.
muted spear