Am I a victim?

[quick oxide]

Ok so I have this friend that's 18 and I'm 14. We met when I was 11 and he was 15 turning 16. I have screenshots of stuff he said and pictures he sent but I just think he has issues and needs love to be a better person. We don't know each other irl so I don't see the problem but now he's getting distant and I'm thinking about ruining his life if he doesn't stop treating me badly

[candid hinge]

What did he do?

[quick oxide]

Well he sexted me and spoke dirty to me, asked for nudes and manipulating me into thinking he loved me and then left for a few months and then came back which was a few months ago. He had a gf the whole time he was doing that

[candid hinge]

Destroy him to the ground

He is such a disgusting human being he deserves being taken down

[quick oxide]

I knoww but I really care about him and if he doesn't treat me right idk what to do

It was just all online so

[candid hinge]

still so very wrong, he is disgusting for doing something like that to you

[candid hinge]

you may care about him but his intents are not pure at all, he was doing something vulgar, inappropriate and illegal, he was and still is taking advantage of you, do not stand for that, you don't deserve that

[quick oxide]

Aww okk well thank you and you're right. I know he's no good but if I lose him I'd be lost. I've known him for so long that it's like we know everything about each other but I'll try to get unattached

[candid hinge]

in this case I think it's better to be lost without him then let someone like him stay by your side, I do believe you can break the bond, you just need your time and don't be afraid to reach for help, you're doing great

[quick oxide]

Yeahh but I'm not letting him get away with this, if he leaves or if I have to leave, his life is ruined

[candid hinge]

what do you mean ruined

[quick oxide]

I have a lot of screenshots that could ruin his life

[candid hinge]

do it

[quick oxide]

Where do I post them??

[candid hinge]

hmm, do you know him personally?

[quick oxide]

Noo

[candid hinge]

do you know anyone that is close to him?

I mean as in texting them or anything

[quick oxide]

Well not really but I know a few that he has added on a game

[candid hinge]

then expose him to them but firstly think of smtg to tell him

smtg that would made him hurt like hell

[quick oxide]

Well he doesn't really get hurt so idk what hurts him..

[quick oxide]

I could try to but I'm scared

[pale topaz]

wait can i ask something

[quick oxide]

Yes

[pale topaz]

what is it that’s actually upsetting you? the fact that he has groomed and used you? or the fact that he’s now distancing himself from you. like what’s hurting you more and what’s your ideal outcome

[candid hinge]

if he doesn't have ASPD is schizoid then I'm pretty sure he would be hurt, believe me

[quick oxide]

That's an amazing question and I asked myself that too. It's kinda both but mostly that he's distancing himself from me because I thought he cared

[quick oxide]

Yeahh but he doesn't care about me he just sees me as someone to talk to at night

[candid hinge]

look, it might hurt like hell but you need to understand that he's not good for you

[candid hinge]

believe me, if I were to be him and someone would tell me they'd expose me with some shit like that I'd be shitting myself

[pale topaz]

so cherry do you see yourself being with someone like that? do you want to be loved and involved with that kind of guy?

[quick oxide]

I think that's why he's being distant

[quick oxide]

No but I have a feeling he can change, when we're alone he's mostly nice but something changed

[candid hinge]

guys like him don't change, even so what he did is so wrong that you shouldn't look away

[quick oxide]

Yeahh you're right..

Also can I send screenshots here or no?

[candid hinge]

only if you are comfortable with sharing something like that

[quick oxide]

Okk well they're kinda gross..

[pale topaz]

to be so honest with you girl. you are very young and with that comes being naive and easy to manipulate. not your fault at all obviously. but he has shown you exactly who he is, you’re “feelings” or hope cannot change this fact. you’re lucky you don’t know him irl enough to be super attached. ik it’s hard to let go of someone who you’ve let in so intimately. but giving him more of yourself, understanding, or patience will not end well for you. if he’s hurt you already he will continue to do so if you let him.

and hurting him back won’t change anything either or make you feel better

[quick oxide]

Yeahh I know but all I ever wanted was someone to love and care about me and he "did" so that's why I'm attached. And I'm also glad Idk him irl because he'd do horrible things (he said that he would) and I get attached to anyone I've known for a while

[candid hinge]

but if he expose him could prevent other girls from going thru what she is going thru

[pale topaz]

but you know he doesn’t actually care right?

not in a mean way

[quick oxide]

I do know that but I want him to care

[pale topaz]

i get where ur coming from

i’ve always been a hopeless romantic, desperate for someone to love and care for me

but you will never find that if you don’t value yourself

at least enough to know what you deserve and what you don’t

you’re not unloveable

there’s so many people on this earth. so many people i’m sure would treat you a million times better than he ever could

[quick oxide]

I will expose him somewhere but idk when or where

[quick oxide]

I know but it's hard to find people like him..

[pale topaz]

you think that but it’s just not true

yk? like you’re so young so remind yourself you don’t actually know yet what else is out there

youre living in this fantasy that he’s created and groomed you to like and want

he’s not special

you are

you deserve better, don’t let a grown man destroy you and your heart before you’re even 18

and protect yourself, it’s not you’re responsibility to protect or defend anyone else

[quick oxide]

Yeahh I knoww 😔

I'm gonna try to tell him that I'm exposing him whenever he responds but he hasn't been online on discord, roblox, and I think he unadded me on vrchat

He did so much stuff and doesn't even regret it so I'm not gonna regret ruining his life

[pale topaz]

ok just know it’s not gonna help you heal or feel better, but i’m not one to tell anyone what to do

[quick oxide]

I'm sending all my friends that want the screenshots and telling them to do what ever

[pale topaz]

i hope it goes well and that you get the outcome you want

but i also jus wanna say

be careful, because even if you’re underage you could still get charged with distributing. be smart and rational

you don’t want to end up on the sex offender registry just because you wanted to get revenge on some disgusting creep