Life Journal / Trying to Get Better , Wiser and Understanding

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Let's start from the start
Q Past Me : Why do you think mom used to beat me so bad even if I hurt myself accidently , I didn't live up to the expectations, I didnt do something she wanted me to do .
A Present Me : It was most probably because she used to worry a lot about me , but she wasn't able to show it in a correct manner , like talking it out , parents (most of them) always want their children to listen to them and not argue with them and Sometimes when they can't control their rage , they do it ( beat their child) which kind of works as a coping mechanism for them .

Q Past Me : Why do my parents never/hardly understand me ?
A Present Me : A lot of things , are a part of this, the first one being generation gap between you and your parents what parents thinks is good for you but you don't like it , they have experience of things that's why they tell you to do certain stuff at certain/ different ages , while some of this stuff may be useless depends on you too , how you take them and use them , most of them are for your benefit , like most people would always encourage you to do stuff that's bad but since it gives pleasure to your brain and you ,you think it better and then slowly you start to avoid your parents advice. So this can also be concluded as, you are the one who doesn't understand his parents ?

Q Past Me : Why do our parents expect so much from us .
A Present Me : Well , most of the parents in this world had some dreams they couldn't fullfill and they thought we could fulfill those dreams of their and make their dreams come true and they kinda wanna showoff to the people they don't like / had bad relations with , that look at my child he has fulfilled my dream which is kind of a slap to the people who pulled their ( our parents legs i.e demotivating them about the things / dreams of them in life ) which I think to some extent is ok . But we don't understand this for quite a long time , but most importantly what our parents what us to become is a hardworking person in life and someone who people respect .

[kindred cypress]

i mean, it can also be because some parents aren't supposed to have kids, yet they did, sorry but you cant keep making excuses for your parents

some people arent good enough and ready to be a parent

[kindred cypress]

on every hand there are 5 fingers, each one is different, not every parent thinks in the same way,
some parents want their kids to succeed but dont know how to coach them so it turns out harsh, and some are just harsh

[kindred cypress]

and expecting much from a child is not good, they should try to make you ''fulfill'' their old ''dreams'' but if you cant or its too hard than they should not put any more pressure whatsoever

( or if you dont want to)

[kindred cypress]

blud

honestly, there is a difference between optimism and blinding yourself from the truth

nobodies parents are perfect, im not saying go hate your parents

just know there isnt an excuse for everything they do, hitting is not a coping mechanism if it is than they are physchopaths

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Thanks for the words of wisdom and your kind thoughts ❤️

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Q Past me : Why is it that most girls in class has issue with me like they never talked to me in simple manners though I never said anything wrong to them and i always respected them as my mom said.
A Present me : It's still somewhat the same, we should not care about them , we can also not ask for what we gave meaning , if I talk to someone with respect and dignity, and they still talk to me with ego / rudeness that's their loss i cannot ask them to talk to me nice just because I did . Till now it's the same , so I don't think I can fix it . All I can do is ignore these kind of people and move on in life
Q Past Me : Why does everybody hate me , If everyone hates me who will love me ? I also feel like i need someone who loves me .
A Present Me : Everybody hates you that's more of a question a man should never ask , what is their in you to be liked ? What have you done in your life that people should like you for ? What have you achieved in life that you think , you deserved to be liked by everyone ? . Now if we talk about loving it's the same as the above answer that we cannot ask for someone to love us back just because we love them . And
Being in a relationship is not going to be easy for you since you have hardly talked to girls in these past couple of years and girls don't like people like you who are complaining, you need to be better in life and then someone might love you .

[nova dirge]

i love that your doing this!!

this is a good idea!!

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Yes

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Thanks for your kind words

[nova dirge]

i might do something similar to this. thanks for the inspiration

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I am glad you liked that idea keep growing

[fallen crystal]

very interesting

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Been going to gym lately , will try my best to be a better person and get better shape .
Will try to post frequently

[fallen crystal]

mr jotaro why be a king when you can be a god

(looking big)

so much potential so dont waste it

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Yes sir I won't

Just posting it to keep track of myself

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Thank you for the kind words 🙏🏻

[fallen crystal]

of course ❤️

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When things make you sad and unmotivated always remember that

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Daily Activities
Slept yesterday at - 1:50 am (Bad)
Woke up at around - 5:30 am
Prayed
Had Breakfast
Went to my room - 8 am
Laptop -> / Internet Surfing/ Dc/ Games till lunch . 2(noon)
Went back to room 3 pm
Studied -> 1 hour
Game / Dc / YT - > 1:30 hours
Did some homework out -> 30 mins
(100 Jumping jacks , 48 Pushups , 30 squats )
Had some snacks and Prayed -> 1 hr
Went back to Room 7pm
Wasted time in game doing nothing -> 40 mins
8 pm -> Learnt Some Stuff about python and Cybersecurity (
Gonna go have dinner and then hopefully i can sleep early .

[fallen crystal]

30 squats 😭

if thats one set id be dead

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15 x 2 lol

Well I can sit in squat position for like 10mins + straight 💀

Here is a format for someone if they wanna copy

Daily Schedule

Slept yesterday at:
Woke up today at:

Meals:

• Breakfast ->
• Lunch ->
• Dinner ->

Activities:

• Workout / Meditation ->
• Snacks ->
• Study ->

Mine is messed up one lol

[fallen crystal]

thats good

you could try bicep exercises with pushups once you are capable of doing more reps

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Also thanks for keeping a check i really appreciate it

[fallen crystal]

no problem

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Uh actually I go to gym but since it was raining today so couldn't go gym and did homework out

[fallen crystal]

actually that is great

having a plan for home workout is important

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Yeps

[fallen crystal]

it is better than nothing you still did physical activity

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And yes I'll will add some exercises for bicep thanks for the idea

[fallen crystal]

ya you might need to start using weights tho

the weight depends on you

i personally prefer smaller ones so i can do alot of reps

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Will use my backpack

[fallen crystal]

sounds good

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did this in python

performed some operations on list

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Just sleep already bro please

I beg

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Good Night

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Good Morning

Slept like 9 hours

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People often underestimate the value of what they have until it's gone, and overestimate the worth of what they don't possess until they attain it

Good Quote As a reminder to stay Humble and be happy with what you have

[fallen crystal]

and do not stress about what you can do in a year there another after that

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Q Past Me : Why do we hate our parents for their behaviour/ their comments/ their action / sometimes we think other people's parents are good .
A Present Me : We feel like this only the time when we are angry with them , it means they might have hurt us , physically , mentally (by words ) and we cannot help but think ill about them , but just like we are doing things for the first time and experiencing stuff which we discover , they are also somewhat the same , they are having their experience for being a parent for the first time , You know we all are unique and they have to deal with all of us in unique way and it could be hard for them to deal with us and they get angry which is normal , Humans are bound to Lust , Anger , Greed , Attachments/entanglements and Ego . We as kids are not mature as we are now . So we should always treat them with respect no matter what . And the thing that we feel about other people parents that they are nice is because they treat us like human since we both don't know each other so we try to put a good first impression on other . We don't know what they are like at home . And always remember nobody has put enough efforts on you then your parents , so be grateful to them.

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Yes for real ❤️

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"Don't set yourself on fire
To keep others warm"

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Couldn't go gym again today
130 jumping jacks ( 70 x1 , 60x 1)
60 push [ 15x 2 , 10 x3 ( i can feel my chest and tricep muscles going sore soon 💀 ]

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60 Squats [ 30x 1, 20x 1 , 10 (Explosive) x1 ]

If you are reading this Drink some water , imma drink some too

Lunges 30 ( 15x 2)
Calf raises 30x 1

Alr am done for today , unless mom tells me to do some more pushups that is

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learnt various functions on tuple today

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It will be alright Man ❤️

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Today's Insight

Slept yesterday at: 10:40 pm
Woke up today at: 8:20 am(Too much sleep not good)

Meals:

• Breakfast -> Around 9 am
• Lunch -> Around 1 noon
• Dinner -> Around 8:30 pm

**Activities: Nothing lmao , need to work on it except for workout **

• Workout Home / Indoor ->
  Pushups ( 60 ) Jumping Jacks (130) and Legs ( Lunges(30) , Squats(60), Calf Raises(30)
• Prayed
• Studied -> Python for exam

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2 am and I can't sleep

What is it

It will be alright my guy

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Good Morning

It will be alright

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Finally went gym today again lol

Did full upperbody

Find happiness within you
Will you ever be happy if you always try to find happiness in others ? ❤️

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It's alright man keep going

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Did learn something new today ( Learnt Hacking Basic )

Some of the time gone/wasted in thinking : )

[fallen crystal]

bro gonna ddos someone

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Real

Good Night

[fallen crystal]

gnnnnn

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Good Morning

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Exam in an hour

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Exam in 15 mins , i don't think I am prepared enough , but neither do I have the fear not do I feel nervous 💀

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Just Got over with my exam

I guess I did well lol

[fallen crystal]

ezzz

dont forget your pushups

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Real

4 km walk kinda tired

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15 pushups done till now

[fallen crystal]

15 is great

i started with 5 back then slowly now i am able to do more!

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Yes , I can do around 18 pushups per set but rn kinda tired , i mean I had 5 hrs of sleep due to exam and even though I don't intake any caffeine I still feel exhausted lol

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Thats amazing keep going like that

[fallen crystal]

recovering from scoliosis so my reps went down drastically

i had to stop exercises for a bit

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Ah

Sorry to hear that , but hey youve got the spirit

When you recover from it totally, you can always start

32 pushups done till now

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40 pushups done till now
50 Done 👍🏻✅

30 Squats Done Till now
60 Done 👍🏻✅

80 Jumping Jacks Done Till Now

150 Done 👍🏻✅

Alr enough for today ig

[fallen crystal]

for sure i had my training im sure im still capable just not the same like before

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It's alright

Practice makes perfect

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I love being left out of conversations lol

The moment third person joins the talk I become the last option I love it

Guess you can't help it

It's all bottling up little by little but still not big enough that I can't handle ig

Mary on a cross is just ❤️

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Good Night

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Good Morning

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I feel like i need a hug

[fallen crystal]

we man up today

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I don't know if it's ok to talk about but I don't know why I am so happy to accept ||death||

I think it will be very peaceful

Not that am gonna do it but if it comes I have nothing to regret about

[fallen crystal]

to accept death you should find something that you are passionate with

it could be anything

when you set goals with it and you feel like you are finished enjoy the years at the top and then let the peace come to you dont wish for it

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Sorry if it made anyone uncomfortable

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I feel so burntout

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I think this journal was enough

Imma delete discord

Y'all have fun

I'll end this with a quote / small poerty

Everyone's life is messed up
Mine is no exception
People going bad ways
I can choose the direction

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I think I won't 💀

Nvm that

[fallen crystal]

you cant resist you have to accept that you are here

it is nothing but only a disruption in bettering yourself

if you feel comfortable being somewhere but you want to go do not just take a break

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I was just told to delete discord so I did , but then I thought why should I listen to someone 💀 bro I get influenced so easily

[fallen crystal]

theres always a benefit in not giving a shit about what others say

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Yea

But I need to work on it

[fallen crystal]

if you are told to do such you dont picture how youll do it picture what youll LOSE if you do what they said

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I just am so dumb i easily believe what others say

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Yea

Ty 🫂

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Went to meet my niece she is so cute

[red gale]

No she isnt

This is

My kat

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Real

[red gale]

Hes epiq

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Real

[fallen crystal]

youll be fine

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Ty mam 🫂

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Poem from an author obsessed with || death || ?

WARNING DO NOT CLICK IF YOU ARE NOT WELL MENTALLY OR FEELING SAD .THERE IS A REASON WHY I HAVE NOT POSTED IT IN #writing

|| Maybe death isnt as bad , as it is seen
Maybe it is beautiful, to the ones who have seen
Maybe it is the place where one feels the peace
Maybe it is the place where one feels at ease ?

People fear it , due to the desires in their heart
What should one do ? , with an empty cart

Nothing to lose , No attachments to the world
Just him and his thoughts in which he is curled.
||

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It's easy to love a Flower
But it takes a lot to love a leaf
It's ordinary to love the beautiful
But it's beautiful to love the ordinary

[red gale]

||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop||||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop||||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop||||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop||||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop||||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop||||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop||||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop||||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop|| ||pop||

[gilded badge]

Real ty

[kindred cypress]

I clicked on every single one

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💀

[fallen crystal]

2 shots at once

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😳

[lusty kestrel]

Omg this is so satisfying NGL

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@twin ruin

Real

[twin ruin]

ohh

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Yeahh

[twin ruin]

this is giving me OCD

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Lol

[twin ruin]

now i have to pop all of these 😭

wtf

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Hahahaha

[twin ruin]

no bro

OCD is annoying

u cant do shit

without it being how u want it to be

[fallen crystal]

i dont have ocd but i want this all FUCKING DONE NOW

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Lol

[twin ruin]

bro

lucky

[fallen crystal]

(cuz i cant just self diagnose idk)

[twin ruin]

..

its pretty evident if u have it

i mean

the way u act

if u have it

will tell u if u have it

i made a heart

(i romanticise everything)

[red gale]

Istg this triggers like every person 😭

[red gale]

Romanticise us. 😁

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No me lol

[red gale]

Any of yal…

Fine women perhaps?

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What is that

Never heard about it

[red gale]

I assume not then ☹️

Thou shall be smited

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💀

Brother am already in a worse place

Smiting me ain't gonna do shit

[red gale]

womp womp

*omgggg i hope you feel betterrrrr ❤️

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Lol it's alright bro

[fallen crystal]

well this was cute

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Elders : Enjoy the nature and feel it , The nature in question 🙂

[twin ruin]

me

im fine women

[twin ruin]

lmfaooo

[twin ruin]

hehe tyy

[red gale]

Got a name?

[twin ruin]

smiley

[red gale]

Fk ur not legal

[twin ruin]

what 💀

[red gale]

nothing

[twin ruin]

wdym

explain T-T

[red gale]

uh

Im good

[twin ruin]

OH

I GOT IT

NVM

lmfao 😭

[red gale]

☹️

[twin ruin]

im not legal

fine goods are never legal are they

and im taken

[red gale]

Mission failed: we’ll get em next time

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What's going on here 💀

[twin ruin]

you'll find ur other half

it's okay

[red gale]

Shiiiii

[twin ruin]

with time

[red gale]

Nuh uh

[twin ruin]

she'll come by

[twin ruin]

didn't expect that?

lmfao

[red gale]

i mean

[twin ruin]

yes she will

[red gale]

I shouldve excpected it

[twin ruin]

eh

[red gale]

Last gf i had ||sh herself to the point she commit suicide so no i have trust issues and im insecure abt that stuff||

[twin ruin]

wha-

wtf

im so sorry

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Brother this is a journal 😭

[twin ruin]

but like

the one for u

will come by

im sure

[red gale]

My baddddd

[twin ruin]

just have hope

ur other half will come by

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And am sorry for that

[twin ruin]

it's becoming a shit hole

and people's place to find fine woman

..

[red gale]

☹️

[twin ruin]

dont be sad

it's okay

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I can see only one women and that's taken too what the f you talking about lol 😂

[twin ruin]

its a joke

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Oh I was joking too nvm

[twin ruin]

lmfaoo

theres siri

and

shelby

they're all "illegal" apparently 💀

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They ain't interested in talking in this channel

[twin ruin]

i see

im the

life of the party

..

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But you've still got a chance my guy 💀

[twin ruin]

yes

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Real

[twin ruin]

he will find his other half

and u will also

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🙂

I never said anything about it

[red gale]

Ehhh

[twin ruin]

but u will find love man

y'all are so hopeless

its sad

[red gale]

k?

Like tf?

[twin ruin]

what

it was a joke

[red gale]

oh mb

[fallen crystal]

(i dont know how to talk to women)

[red gale]

Same

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Same

I'll fumble the bag in mere seconds

💀

Yo wtf

This has 168 chats yesterday and now it's upto 300

💀

Nah

[red gale]

Wow

I have a question

Yall ever just

Forget to check dms?

Like

My anxiety goes brrrr

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Nahhhh

0 pings

OCD hits hard

[red gale]

Lol

[twin ruin]

MY OCD MAKES ME MARK EVERYTHING ON READ

LITERALLY

I dont even read shit

i just right click and mark as read

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Real

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I had like same issue

[twin ruin]

what

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I will tell you OK

[twin ruin]

ok

[twin ruin]

i make miracles happen

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Real

[twin ruin]

yeah bro the amount of times i accidentally leave ppl on read

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Angel smiley

[twin ruin]

ahaha

more like

devil

in disguise

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💀

[twin ruin]

i can be both

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True

[twin ruin]

..

thankyou

[red gale]

Or you can be mine ;)

Fuck i forgot

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AYO 💀

[red gale]

mb

[twin ruin]

LMAO

nah its alr

dw

[red gale]

😭😭

[twin ruin]

im illegal fine woman

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On a scale of 1 to 10 how much down bad is bro

[twin ruin]

100

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Lmaooo

[red gale]

Fr

[twin ruin]

he's down bad for me

[red gale]

Mhm

[fallen crystal]

who the fuck turned this thread into a dating center

[twin ruin]

this ain't dating center bro

he just

[fallen crystal]

AHHH A WOMAN IDK HOW TO TALK TO ONE

[twin ruin]

hi

[fallen crystal]

yo

[twin ruin]

hru

[fallen crystal]

im ok

what is happeni

[twin ruin]

im great

[twin ruin]

ure talking to a female

[fallen crystal]

siri search how to calm down when female approaches

not working anyway im gonna go and hyperventilate

[twin ruin]

u rn:

me:

[fallen crystal]

yep 300 bpm rn

[twin ruin]

siri died

[fallen crystal]

im fucking dying

[twin ruin]

go to bed

[fallen crystal]

its 3pm???

[twin ruin]

i didn't mean death bed

[fallen crystal]

im in class

[twin ruin]

but ok

[fallen crystal]

i die later

cause of death : woman

[twin ruin]

im the cause of someones death

damn

[fallen crystal]

nah women in general

[twin ruin]

murder committed

.

[fallen crystal]

true.

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Today was so much lol

Fun included

[fallen crystal]

murder committed fun included my mental neglected

(tis a joke)

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💀

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Bro I am so sleepy doodoo

I have exam

I woke up early

Am regretting aaaah

Shwishbds

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Am physically not well for the exam 💀

I am gonna fumble the bag today 💀

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Its gonna be easy deal with it

I can do it 🗿

[twin ruin]

what exam

what

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It is raining outside

I am all wet now 🙂

Well atleast i am at my destination

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Both of them went alright ig 🙂

Beside the fact that i was all wet and it was not pleasent

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If this mf calls me one more time

I swear

I will

Do something

I dont care

[fallen crystal]

im selling this desert eagle mark vii its chambered with a .44 magnum sir incase you lose your shit i am willing to let you rent this weapon for only 2 cents and a bag of dry potatoes

to own it just add another sack

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Its on call bro

Sell me a Rocket with location tracker

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Exam went well

Expect

I got wet again and now my mouth roof is burnt due to eating hot food 💀

[red gale]

What?? 😭

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Yes

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It was raining

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Today be the last exam

I hope it also goes well

Also no rain today thank god

[twin ruin]

yes

good luck

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Ty

Looking good in this white jacket 😎

Imma go now

[twin ruin]

lmfao

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Exam went well aswell

😎

[fallen crystal]

i had an exam and i fucked it up (congrats to you btw)

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What happened 💀

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|| Please someone kill me ||

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Please

[twin ruin]

What happened

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I feel like ive lost the sense of direction

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I am losing interest in everything

Idk what to do

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NEW SEM TOMORROW WFAIAVWWIWJWKAO

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Breh i was all alone in class 🙂

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Just going home

💀

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Bro 💀

Right on the nerve 💀

Well actually nobody does

But now am used to it

[twin ruin]

u wont be lonely its fine

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Yooo real smiley ?

[twin ruin]

hi

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Hello how was your day

[twin ruin]

it was good

how was urs

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Mine was ok :))

[twin ruin]

oh

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Did you find another series to watch ?

Gn ig

[fallen crystal]

Oppenheimer series should go hard

[gilded badge]

Real

Whats up azura

Guess he's offline 🥸

[fallen crystal]

hello

im omw to class

[gilded badge]

Nice nice

Have fun in your classes ig 💀

Man sometimes i think i am gonna go mentally insane

And i will for sure one day

I think i will actually delete discord fr

It might be one of the reasons

[fallen crystal]

not necessary

deletion is not but disabling is better if you need a break

[clever pecan]

Good day brother and sisters hope am not intruding into anyone’s privacy I mean no harm All I need is your hand in Prayers to God to heal my only dear sister who as been our rock and roll since we lost our parent, she has undergone a mastectomy due to breast cancer and we’ve lost all properties and other valuable possessions before we could afford the operation, Right now we are currently struggling so hard to meet up our daily basic needs like food and even Medications for her. Please join us in praying for God's guidance and strength during this hard challenging time.

[gilded badge]

I will pray for your sister brother stay strong May god provide you and your sister the strength you need

[gilded badge]

Yea i will try thanks man

[clever pecan]

This is Really touching Thank you very much Sir God bless you

[gilded badge]

This is the least i could do sir . And yes please stay strong and support your sister she needs you the most at this time ❤️

[clever pecan]

Yes you're right She has no one else but me and I can't bear the thought of losing her. She's all I have at the moment Please if you're aware of any online charity organizations that could offer us assistance I would greatly appreciate it. It would mean a lot to us during this difficult period.

[gilded badge]

Brother i think i might not be the best person here because i think a lot of things matter when asking help from charity / or such apps ,the country can matter in charity for several reasons. Different countries have different levels of need, cultural norms, and legal frameworks that can influence how charities operate and where they direct their resources. Additionally, tax regulations and incentives for charitable giving can vary from country to country, affecting the flow of donations. Tho i think "Go Fund Me" is a charity app or website you can try that 🙏🏻

[clever pecan]

Alright sir, I want to say Thank you once again I really appreciate your concern sir God bless you

[gilded badge]

May God Bless You and Your Sister Too Brother 💕 Lots of love

[gilded badge]

My mental health maybe declining faster than ever before but hey atleast my poems are getting better now 😀

If u wanna read #writing

[gilded badge]

You are better than this bro

Keep going

Its gonna pass

Overcome it like you did your past

[gilded badge]

this channel ded fr

[red gale]

Fr

[gilded badge]

Real cheese how are you doing

[red gale]

idk

I think i broke my finger

And my mom found out and started cussing me out

So i just left my house

And idk what to do

lol

Im just at my friends rn

[gilded badge]

Nah bro are you alright 💀

[red gale]

Yeah

[gilded badge]

Just in break

Gonna have some food

[gilded badge]

i think i cracked the reason for the why i am not getting someone

The Quote goes like -
"To Appreciate Something
You Must first Suffer"

[red gale]

real

[gilded badge]

real indeed

[gilded badge]

how are you doing cheese

[red gale]

Turns out

My finger didnt break

[gilded badge]

Great to hear

[red gale]

I finally got my mom to take me to the doctors

Its just fractured

(Idk what that means)

[gilded badge]

its better than being broken

[red gale]

im also buying a karambit

[gilded badge]

thank god u are doing fine

[red gale]

idek u

[gilded badge]

wow nice

[gilded badge]

why , does that make any difference ?

[red gale]

ig it doesnt

[gilded badge]

haha stay blessed my guy

[red gale]

I js dont get that alot 😅

[red gale]

Ty ty u2

[red gale]

I got a lso got a rly weird dm

From some1 ik

[gilded badge]

what is it

[red gale]

ok so

For context

Im a guy

And shes a girl

But weve always js been friends

We talk online mainly cuz if we hung out at school ppl would think its weird

but randomly todsy she sends me this

hold up idk if i can send it her

Its a msg

Imma show then delete after

[gilded badge]

ok

well

[red gale]

Confused lol

Weve never been like that

[gilded badge]

ask her about it

sometimes people catch feelings

[red gale]

tru but she knows abt something that happened

That would make this situation different

[gilded badge]

what

[red gale]

can we talk in dms?

kinda weird saying it here

[last trout]

👋

[red gale]

wave

[gilded badge]

sure

[gilded badge]

hello

[gilded badge]

Hey me , its been a while since i talked to you like this right ? I guess its been too long , you seem to have let loose of yourself about stuff you cant control , I know you are doing great in terms of habits and stuff . But what about other things . The fact that you are getting these thoughts could mean you have only been exposed to them and them only and nothing else . I know your day goes without a lot of Irl interactions but , if you will let it win , think about the consequences , i know that its hard to deal with , i myself know that if you turn that way . Its not gonna be good . Everyone no matter what they have done, are at the end of the day human beings who want to get better for themselves and their family , doesnt every living being want that ? :)) . Just because they are bad people and have done so much wrong to you and your loved ones , are you sure you wanna be like them or even worse . I know you , you never hurt anybody ,be it physically or mentally . I know this side of you hardly comes out , Recently you have started to become vague , you turned bad to yourself while everyone else told you it was not your fault . This side of you or call it me . You hardly rely on me right ? since i can be annoying with my speeches and you would rather like to disrespect yourself , trash and negative talk yourself but you cant seem to help it right ? You saw others being sad with the way you were treating your own self right ? Sure overcoming is hard but please dont lose yourself no matter how bad they are , They themselves shall pay for it . As you sow , so shall you reap . Dont worry about them they will have it the way karma / fate / god wants . That sure was a big speech huh ? Keep yourself safe :)).

Try to keep it to yourself please ok ? :)) Bye for now

[gilded badge]

So much to talk about :((

[gilded badge]

@jaunty gull helllooo

Welcome

[jaunty gull]

hi

i read

since the

first message

everything

i cried mb

[gilded badge]

WHAT

Why cry

[jaunty gull]

dms

[twin ruin]

whyy

[jaunty gull]

thanks for being here since the beginning

[twin ruin]

wha

[jaunty gull]

HAVE YOU SEEN HIS TEXTS ITS LIKE SO SAD , WHY SHOULDNT I CRY

[twin ruin]

…

i was just asking

[jaunty gull]

😭

im sorry

i wasnt SCREAMING

or being angry

[twin ruin]

it’s chill haha

[jaunty gull]

i was like

[twin ruin]

dwww

Yesyes

[jaunty gull]

MAN WTF THIS IS SO SAD

[twin ruin]

I get it

[jaunty gull]

type screaming

yes

[twin ruin]

yes

[jaunty gull]

yes

thankyou

[twin ruin]

npnp

[jaunty gull]

how are you btw

[twin ruin]

I’m great

Wby

[jaunty gull]

great

what time is it for you

[gilded badge]

All indians

You guys can chill 🙂

[fallen crystal]

im like observing here

journal was still in pre alpha call that shit dawn of time

[gilded badge]

😭

Azura comes and types the most deepest and random shit known to mankind

[twin ruin]

where is he

[gilded badge]

Who

[twin ruin]

when

did

this

happen

[fallen crystal]

idk probably when i was born

[gilded badge]

😭

[twin ruin]

Azura

[twin ruin]

When did this happen

[fallen crystal]

bro is actually looking for information tf

you aint got learn shit there if its a book report

[twin ruin]

oh

[gilded badge]

All the times, bro check the thread lol

[twin ruin]

wait

I just

omg

[gilded badge]

What 😭

Dont tell me you think its main chat 😭

[jaunty gull]

real he is always the most random

[fallen crystal]

random what

[twin ruin]

i couldn’t differentiate bw menace and azura

[jaunty gull]

i got confused as well

[gilded badge]

Omg

Lmao

[jaunty gull]

youre so random mf

[gilded badge]

💀

[twin ruin]

YALL

[gilded badge]

Aint no way

[fallen crystal]

chicken sandwich on the block pull up

[twin ruin]

SLEEP

[jaunty gull]

SEEE

[gilded badge]

No u

[jaunty gull]

no

im batman

[fallen crystal]

you mfs need to sleep

[gilded badge]

Real

[jaunty gull]

MUHEHEEHHEHEEH

[gilded badge]

Sleep deprived lmao 😭

[jaunty gull]

i need to save the city fym

[twin ruin]

what

[fallen crystal]

you aint saving shit

[jaunty gull]

i am though

[fallen crystal]

chicken sandwich 👍

[gilded badge]

Hahahahha

[jaunty gull]

dont be rude

[twin ruin]

real

[gilded badge]

😭

This has become main chat

[jaunty gull]

jotaro he was rude to me :(

[fallen crystal]

bro all u can save is a save file tf you talkin bout cuhhh

[jaunty gull]

:((((

[gilded badge]

AZURA NO MY GUY SHE IS BATMAN

[jaunty gull]

yes i am

[fallen crystal]

thats catwoman broski

[jaunty gull]

grrrrrrrr

[fallen crystal]

ur batman

[gilded badge]

Well there goes 😭

[fallen crystal]

or jotaro actially

[gilded badge]

Idk

[fallen crystal]

actually

[jaunty gull]

thats fine too

man i dont want that stupid tail

[fallen crystal]

ali-a outro music

bye

[jaunty gull]

huh

[gilded badge]

Smash

[jaunty gull]

HUH

[gilded badge]

Bye azura

[desert silo]

Prooo

[desert silo]

Bro khud soja 💀

[desert silo]

Omg fast reader?

I told ya man

He hates himself more like he blames himself a lot

@gilded badge mf hru?

I dint kno u got this thing

I tried to watch arpit guy u told me abt

I lost my remaining brain cells

[jaunty gull]

Lol it's okay though

He will get better

[gilded badge]

Just woke up

Good morning all

[gilded badge]

HAHAHAHAHAH

[twin ruin]

I did

[gilded badge]

hello

[twin ruin]

hi

[gilded badge]

HELO

how ae you

[desert silo]

Shit im

[desert silo]

Noice

[twin ruin]

hello

[desert silo]

Hi

Board ho kaise hue

[gilded badge]

Wow

[desert silo]

Lol i mea

Mean yes

[gilded badge]

Real

You should watch more of his vids

[desert silo]

Are bhai

[gilded badge]

Will make you have even less braincells

💀

[desert silo]

Exam ke time ye tum log dimag me aa rhe the

Agar vide9 dekh liya

Then rip

[gilded badge]

What exam ?

[desert silo]

Bc 10 din bad jee h

[desert silo]

Abe abhi exam tha

Btaya to

💀

[gilded badge]

My toxic trait is that i think i can clear jee 😭

Best of luck

[gilded badge]

Real my iq is 69

[desert silo]

I have a special emote for u

Wait i need to boost to use it 😭

[desert silo]

My iq is -69

Thanks to arpit

[gilded badge]

Hahahahha

[desert silo]

I have some shit fr

I get max marks in maths

[gilded badge]

Arpit is the lord 🙏🏻

[desert silo]

And lowest in chem

😭

[gilded badge]

Bro was the one who carried me during my assignment

[desert silo]

Marry him

[gilded badge]

I hate both of those 😭

[desert silo]

At this point

[gilded badge]

No

[desert silo]

Damn

[gilded badge]

DO YOU KNOW HOW GOOD HE IS

[desert silo]

Which subject u have

?

[gilded badge]

Cs 🙂

[desert silo]

Is he black flag?

[desert silo]

And u hate maths ?

[gilded badge]

NAH BRO HE IS SO GOOD

[desert silo]

I heard matrix ati usme

[desert silo]

I mean black flag is good

Because it cant be dirty

How good

[gilded badge]

Due to shit ass teachers in school bro

[desert silo]

Fr fr

I literally studied maths by reading book

😭

Sir se puchne me dar lgta tha bc

[gilded badge]

But i liked maths in college , integration, differentiation, matrix was goog

[desert silo]

💀 wait

Integration sikha de

Skull

[gilded badge]

💀

[desert silo]

Sirf vohi weak h

Kyuki

Vo bhi pura khudse kiya

[gilded badge]

Zyada achhi nhi aati mujhe 1 saal hogya bhule hue 😭

[gilded badge]

I am proud

[desert silo]

I usually assume Integrated value something

[gilded badge]

Bro

[desert silo]

And use trial and method by differentiating it

[gilded badge]

Just write +c and move on 😭

[desert silo]

To get the function i have to integrate

[twin ruin]

Hru

[desert silo]

Bc bhot mushkil ata h

[desert silo]

Hiii

Allen ka test jee se zyada hard ata h 😭

[twin ruin]

i see

[gilded badge]

I loved the integration by parts

It was fun

[desert silo]

Khana khaya?

[twin ruin]

what

[desert silo]

Bro i always forget that formula

[desert silo]

Oo

I mean khana

Dinner lunch

[gilded badge]

Wait if i have that ill send you the pdf

[desert silo]

Dw i have formula but its long

[gilded badge]

Wow smiley ignoring me

I see how it is bro

[gilded badge]

Its an easy way

[desert silo]

Same

[desert silo]

Oo

Icic

[gilded badge]

Shit bro i dont have it

[desert silo]

Its okay

[gilded badge]

Am sorry

It was like 1/2/1/2 something

[desert silo]

O

Well idk what 1/2.. is but

It's fine

I will skip integration for now and focus on chem

Even tho i cant study

[gilded badge]

Ok

[gilded badge]

It was some ILATE rule

[desert silo]

Oh yes

Inverse, logarithm, Algebra, Trigonometric and Exponential function sequence

Ik the theory but i cant remember long ass formulas

I cant even remember half angle formula

My memory is weak

I barely remember usernames 😭

[gilded badge]

Yes

It was pretty helpful

[gilded badge]

Us bro us goldfish memory

[gilded badge]

💀😭😭.

This is kind of funny

[desert silo]

Bc pehle ye bol ki earphone lgau ya nhi

Papa hai bagal me

😭

[gilded badge]

Ahahha

[desert silo]

Us

[desert silo]

Bol

[gilded badge]

Cheers uncle 😭

[gilded badge]

Kya

[desert silo]

I never used "kutta" irl 😭

If they hear any shit

Im done for

[gilded badge]

Are you fr

💀

[desert silo]

My worst is pagal

😭

[gilded badge]

WTD

WTF 😭

[desert silo]

I dont bully with swears

I bully the shit out of them without it

[desert silo]

Gali h video me?

[gilded badge]

Punjabi household me ana kabhi 😭

[gilded badge]

No bro

Its singing video

[desert silo]

Damn maine gali hi kota ake sikhi

Thanks to bihari batchmates

😑

[gilded badge]

Lmao

[desert silo]

Thik h

Bc pure din gali

11th me

[gilded badge]

💀

[desert silo]

Me while pooping on funny day 😭

[gilded badge]

Lmao 😭

[desert silo]

I mean

[gilded badge]

Wyd rn ?

[desert silo]

Skill issue

[desert silo]

On call

[gilded badge]

With who 😏

[desert silo]

With Her 😏

[gilded badge]

ONG

NICE

[desert silo]

Papa se bachke krna pdta h

Papa sucks

[gilded badge]

GIVE TIPS

[desert silo]

I keep room locked

[gilded badge]

How to start convo 😭

[desert silo]

Idk

Mf

Are u asking me

[gilded badge]

WHAT

[desert silo]

Bc

[gilded badge]

What 😭

[desert silo]

Mujhe ni ata khud

[gilded badge]

Idk what to talk about on call 😭

I LOVE THIS REMIX

[desert silo]

I just stay on call so she dont feel alone

She sleeping

[gilded badge]

OMG 🗣️‼️

[gilded badge]

Ah

THATS SO SWEET

[desert silo]

Which

[desert silo]

Nazar lgade bsdk

[gilded badge]

Its punjabi remix

[desert silo]

Nazar lg gyi varna pehle 24/7 call pe hi rehte the 😭

[gilded badge]

AINT NO WAY BRO NAZAR IS REAL AF

[desert silo]

Net hi isiliye dalwata tha

[desert silo]

Ab papa aa gye

To nhi reh pate

[gilded badge]

Lmao

[desert silo]

Pure din

[gilded badge]

Acha

[desert silo]

Papa thinks

Some girl will do black magic

[gilded badge]

💀💀💀💀💀m

[desert silo]

And make me disappear

[desert silo]

Not papa

Mummy

They think im 5yo

[gilded badge]

DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY MOM DOES ??

[desert silo]

😭

[gilded badge]

SHE IS

OMFG

[desert silo]

WHAT

[gilded badge]

SHE SAYS DO YOU LIKE ANY GIRL ?

[desert silo]

SHE IS OMFG?

[desert silo]

DAMN

DONT TELL ME

SHE WANTS U TO HE GAY?

BE*

[gilded badge]

YOU ARE DOOMED BRO ITS A DOUBLE EDGED SWORD

[gilded badge]

NO AS A GIRL

[desert silo]

Mtlb?

[gilded badge]

LIKE A GIRL

SHE WILL BE LIKE DO YOU LIKE ANY GRILS ?

[desert silo]

Didnt u tell her u r in relationship 😭

U r 18+

[gilded badge]

IF YOU SAY YES THEN GOD SAVE YOU MY FRIEND 🙏🏻

[desert silo]

Atleast

[desert silo]

And if i say no?

[gilded badge]

IF YOU SAY NO SHE WILL START TO LECTURE

😭🙏🏻

[desert silo]

Fk

[gilded badge]

LIKE YES YOU SHOULD NOT

[desert silo]

Tell her u are into guys

💀

[gilded badge]

Well thats a speedrun to getting kicked out of your house

[desert silo]

[gilded badge]

How td 💀

Tf

[desert silo]

Skill issue

[gilded badge]

You have nitrogen ?

😭

Nitrogen

Ill call that shit nitrogen now

[desert silo]

No i hv carbon mono boxide

[gilded badge]

Stop with that my head hurts 😭

[desert silo]

Ohh

[gilded badge]

Jk

Your fine

[desert silo]

[desert silo]

If it were yesterday

[gilded badge]

Avg nitrogen buyer

[desert silo]

I'd hit another episode

[gilded badge]

💀

[desert silo]

when they realize they are out of money

[gilded badge]

Real 😭

[desert silo]

I also got another emotes

[gilded badge]

Show

[desert silo]

[gilded badge]

42 minutes remix and its all worth it 💀

[desert silo]

This Is u when u were talking abt clearing jee

[gilded badge]

How i feel after making a dumb joke

[gilded badge]

😭😭😭.

[desert silo]

[desert silo]

That is how i feel when trying to talk to others

[gilded badge]

💀

[desert silo]

I mean

I am not kidding

I would explain but it wont make sense

[gilded badge]

HELLO BACK

[gilded badge]

WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE :))

[desert silo]

😏 ic ic

[gilded badge]

hehhehehehe

[desert silo]

[gilded badge]

wait

someone might join

[desert silo]

Skull

Oh fuck its not dm

[gilded badge]

haha

[desert silo]

Damn

Bruh

[gilded badge]

nhi ari

nVM

did you have lunch ?

[desert silo]

😏 ja bhai bat krle

[desert silo]

Abe bat krle

Gandu (in bengali)

[gilded badge]

are 😭

[gilded badge]

bro there are girls in this thread

[desert silo]

Abe im not kidding

[gilded badge]

sharam , maryada

[desert silo]

Oh

[gilded badge]

anushahn

[desert silo]

Dm is better

Sob

[gilded badge]

come

[desert silo]

It would sound very sus

However

[gilded badge]

BRO neither are you homie and neither am i

[desert silo]

Tf is homie

💀

That shit crazy

[gilded badge]

Today was a hectic but good day

[twin ruin]

hi

[gilded badge]

Hello

Woo

[gilded badge]

You got nitro ggs

[twin ruin]

YES

my badu bhai gave me

eheh

[gilded badge]

Thats really nice

Have fun with it

[twin ruin]

okayyy

thankuuu

[gilded badge]

Btw, how are you

[twin ruin]

Im fine

wby

[gilded badge]

I am good thanks for asking

[twin ruin]

thats nice

[gilded badge]

Indeed it is and i hope you have also have great and prosperous life ahead

[twin ruin]

why so formal

[gilded badge]

Why not ?

Being good and formal is a good thing right ? :))

Doesnt hurt anyone

[fallen crystal]

formal english good but english informal also prefer!!

[gilded badge]

Ok got you 😊

[gilded badge]

Also how are you doing today azura

[fallen crystal]

my english still improve slow so i do informal

my engrish getting gooder and gooder!

[gilded badge]

You are more than enough

[gilded badge]

Dat is vary goog to here