Matt’s journal about life | The Therapy Center | Page 3

scarlet viper May 2, 2024, 4:59 PM

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Being judgmental about a woman who isn't a virgin is uglier than any of the physical flaws you are fixated upon

viral quarry May 2, 2024, 5:09 PM

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I have to agree with that to be honest. And I do like you Matt, by no means take this as me disliking you, but I do believe that's an ugly view.

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Tons of people are still virgins! It doesn't matter man.

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I know 30 year old who are but nobody cares

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Losing ypu virginity means nothing good if it isn't with someone you truly care about anyways

old raptor May 2, 2024, 5:21 PM

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All day with this damn fucking school WiFi

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My vpn ain’t working

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Well I’ve never had my first kiss or had my first girlfriend

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I swear tho god with my friend

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They have a crush on this one dude

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And they keep asking me for advice

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I also hate how they scare me they always run up on me and tap me on the shoulder and say hi loudly

old raptor May 2, 2024, 7:36 PM

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You think I’m "horny" ?

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I’m not horny

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I just want love and someone

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All I simply want is a lover and a wife and my best friend

distant lion May 2, 2024, 7:40 PM

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Yeah i’d agree u hv a long journey ahead matt ur gonna meet many new ppl and gonna date ppl yeah some of them wont work out cz that person just wont be the right one for u but thats how we learn and grow and just dont give up hope, you will find a partner sooner or later in life n friends rn u just gotta focus on ur dreams thoose matter the most

vivid nymph May 2, 2024, 7:42 PM

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can you please write just instead of js

distant lion May 2, 2024, 7:42 PM

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Yeah sure sry

distant lion May 2, 2024, 7:52 PM

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distant lion Yeah i’d agree u hv a long journey ahead matt ur gonna meet many new ppl and gon...

Oh and pls don’t take this the wrong way matt im just trying to help u out <3

old raptor May 2, 2024, 8:15 PM

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distant lion Oh and pls don’t take this the wrong way matt im just trying to help u out <3

I want my soulmate now

distant lion May 2, 2024, 8:18 PM

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Ik but everything takes time matt there’s nothing u can do about it

old raptor May 2, 2024, 8:20 PM

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distant lion Ik but everything takes time matt there’s nothing u can do about it

I probably won’t ever find her

distant lion May 2, 2024, 8:27 PM

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U would matt u just gotta wait for the right time try focusing on ur career rn and ill be honest with u most relationships in teenage especially dont work out i wont say all but most of them

old raptor May 2, 2024, 8:32 PM

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I hate having headaches

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I just wanna go home and take some Advil and watch a movie or take a nap

limber hornet May 2, 2024, 8:46 PM

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why does the last part matter tho

old raptor May 2, 2024, 8:46 PM

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limber hornet why does the last part matter tho

Idk why I actually added that

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This is why I shoudlnt vent in the morning cause I just say random stuff

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Or add stuff that’s not the point

limber hornet May 2, 2024, 8:47 PM

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matt i gotta say u wont get anyone until u learn to love urself, trust from personal expierience
if ur so negative towards urself u only drag urself and others down with u
u gotta rechannel that energy best u can
get ur confidence up
its hard but u can do it

scarlet viper May 2, 2024, 9:27 PM

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If you don't love the person you are why would other people?

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I think it's a self fulfilling prophecy. Negative self-talk will lead to unpleasant emotions which contribute to behaviors that don't align with your conception of yourself, values and beliefs.

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Your brain is then accepting feedback from the environment which is stating that you were correct to have those negative thoughts because look at the outcome

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This is the cognitive triangle in cognitive behavioral therapy

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These negative patterns are profound but can be unwound. Self-Esteem has to be a big focus so that you can start making changes in challenging automatic thought with more self-talk rather than self-listening

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If we don't recognize value in ourselves, we aren't going to see the point in going through that necessary discomfort that is inherent to making changes

old raptor May 2, 2024, 11:44 PM

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Good fucking lord my mom got me into trouble

old raptor May 2, 2024, 11:44 PM

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scarlet viper If you don't love the person you are why would other people?

I will come back to this later sorry

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Good grief she’s been pissing me off. She told our dad about my sister missing school assignments

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And so then after this

viral quarry May 3, 2024, 1:23 AM

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Relationships in highschool are nothing rbh

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Tbh

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Like

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Most people don't stay together

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And often they cause a lot of problems and stain

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I've told you about my highschool relationship and how horrific it was

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Not that your experience would be the same by any means

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But it's typically people who are too immature to be making serious decisions and whatnot

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Again, not that you're immature necessarily

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If a relationship happens naturally, then that's great, but it's not specifically something you should strive toward

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There are more important things to have and do right now, you have so much time to find love in the future

old raptor May 3, 2024, 1:38 AM

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Going on a rant rn

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People are fucking stupid

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She’s 14 and I turn 18 next year and 17 this year

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Good lord the younger generation is cooked

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Can’t stand kids nowadays

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They do stupid shit and never shut the fuck up

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I be trying to do my math work. 14 year olds in my class start being too loud

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Good lord

old raptor May 3, 2024, 6:29 AM

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I gotta write about today

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I almost texted my mom something fucked up after we were having an argument

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Why can't I just be happy? Things always go great for me then they fall down

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2022: just started my 2nd half of high school and met new friends and new people and was excited to go back
Boom! Mom gets stage 1 cancer and gets surgery to remove it
2022: can't go to New York because we all got covid
2022: resumes bam! Parents announce they may get divorced

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2023: starts off calmly then bam! I start to get tons of nosebleeds and my dad moves out of the house after marriage counseling failed and lives in an apartment that he currently lives in
2023: Puerto Rico trip goes to shit. Everything was fucked up

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2023: meets the girl I love and I fall in love with her. My parents finally announce they will be getting a divorce and yes that hurt me but at least I still had my lover Lucy

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Wrong! It went down the drain after she left me to focus on school and her life

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So now 2024 nothing bad has happened

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Or at least not yet

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I mean my spring breaks have been pretty shit the last couple of years

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But why can't I just be happy?

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People I love Always leave

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I hate how people are genuinely weird today

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So today in history class we had an article about the famous terrorist osama bin laden the guy behind 9/11 and so today we were learning about his letter from the 90s

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And so there's this female who is transitioning from male to female

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And she pretty much hates the us

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She talks a lot about how she doesn't serve any loyalty to the United States

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And today she said: "more people should declare wars on the us"

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Like no you idiot there's already enough wars in the world

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Then there's this andrew tate supporter in my health class

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Basically it's this kid that talks about how he's a "sigma" and says he's anti ||porn||

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Do you even know how andrew tate got rich? Give me a break🤦🏻‍♂️💀

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I hate divorce so much as well

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My parents are divorcing soon and I no longer have a happy family

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I have to have 2 birthdays and Christmases which I really don't wanna have

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And i Hate how my dad takes no accountability for this shit

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He always tells me: "your mom is hurting" "your mom is a single mother now and you need help"

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ALL BECAUSE OF YOU

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YOU TRIED TO FIX THINGS AND IT BACKFIRED AND I HATED THIS WHOLE DIVORCE WAR

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People today lack accountability and it's really pissing me the fuck off

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I just hate all the shit I've been through the last 2 years

viral quarry May 3, 2024, 2:39 PM

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You have a right to feel the emotions you're feeling, of course. But I do want to say that I think you tend to look at negatives more than positives. Like you got to go on vacation to Puerto Rico, not everyone has that opportunity. Even if it didnt go that great, I'm sure there were at least a couple nice things. I went to Mexico in January and my mom and her boyfriend fought the entire time and he just got so drunk , our flight got canceled on the way home, we had an awful layover on the flights we had to book, and we all got food poisoning, but hey, the beach was great!

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Try think of the good stuff

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And Lucy leaving to focus on studies, maybe you can try focusing on studies too

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And I get divorce can be difficult

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My parents divorced, and my mom's getting another one now too

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But you'll get to decorate two bedrooms, you'll get to celebrate Christmas twice, you'll get two birthdays! And you can look at that negatively or positively. Like hey I love black and red hut also blue and white, I can do a dark room and a light room or whatever! I can plan two birthday parties! I get to open gifts om separate days, and possibly get pretty stuff!

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It's not all bad

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You'll no longer be surrounded by what I assume is constant fighting either

old raptor May 3, 2024, 3:04 PM

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viral quarry You have a right to feel the emotions you're feeling, of course. But I do want t...

You’re mothers boyfriend sounds like a douche

viral quarry May 3, 2024, 3:07 PM

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He wasnt

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I mean

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I never liked him that much, but I was too old to see him as a father figure when my mom and he got together. But he's fine ig, my little brother likes him at least.

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But it's just the last few months he's been an ass

old raptor May 3, 2024, 3:10 PM

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Ohh

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Puerto Rico was just ass in general

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Our dad got mad at us

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Our family members betrayed us

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I ended up hating my family members from Puerto Rico after what they did

old raptor May 3, 2024, 3:51 PM

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viral quarry And Lucy leaving to focus on studies, maybe you can try focusing on studies too

Well I miss her

viral quarry May 3, 2024, 3:51 PM

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And that's okay

old raptor May 3, 2024, 4:00 PM

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Wait let me censor some stuff

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The dean of student sucks

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Snowflakes can’t stand the truth

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Accountability not found??

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They don’t give a fuck

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They never gave a fuck

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I hate school administrators so much

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They always do the most fucked up shit

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Never punish the bully

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Always punishes the victim

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I hate this person

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I hate this school

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Godamn people suck

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They don’t take accountability anymore they don’t care

vivid nymph May 3, 2024, 4:36 PM

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i hate this, i hate that, come on, you can do better than this

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stop making an enemy out of everything, they just are lazy

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there is a way to solving the bullying besides just being sad

limber hornet May 3, 2024, 4:45 PM

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viral quarry Most people don't stay together

true as shit

old raptor May 3, 2024, 7:30 PM

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vivid nymph i hate this, i hate that, come on, you can do better than this

You don’t have people out after you??

old raptor May 4, 2024, 12:45 AM

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I hate being a teenager in todays world

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I hate having to deal with all of this

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I hate being gen Z as well

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I can’t believe how much of a failure I am

old raptor May 4, 2024, 2:03 AM

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Okay

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I’m calm now

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I can finally chill for the rest of today and 2 days straughr

old raptor May 4, 2024, 7:27 AM

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Hello everyone

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I just wanted to say thank you all for supporting my journal and trying to help

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I’ve decided to take a bit of a break using this online journal because I have gotten a journal I can use and write with a pen and start journaling irl

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It’s just I’ve been excessively using this journal over and over again

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Just shaming myself and being such a negative influence on myself

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Which I think I should start somewhere new. On a piece of paper with a pen

old raptor May 7, 2024, 5:24 AM

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Okay so

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An update

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Things have been going okay

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Not as bad

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A few arguments but not too bad

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I’m not in as much of a negative mood as I was

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When I wake up In morning having to go to school I say: "alright let’s get it over with"

old raptor May 7, 2024, 4:06 PM

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Good lord my sister is so annoying

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I swear can all these people fuck off

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I’ve been acting a bit hostile towards people lately

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This one girl wanted to fight me

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Because this annoying dude claimed I "watch her after school" when I barely know who the fuck this girl is

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And she said: "let’s meet up and fight"

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God I hate that bitch

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She tries to act like she’s from "the hood"

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And then when I sit down she asks: "are you gonna cry?"

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No bitch it’s called I’m tired of you being a idiot and I’d prefer for you to shut the fuck up and fuck the hell off

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Godamn I hate school so much

old raptor May 8, 2024, 12:35 AM

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Today

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I gotta release all the negative energy

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Because wtf today

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Okay so I woke up

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Time to go to school

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I woke up late and didn’t have time to eat breakfast

old raptor May 8, 2024, 1:09 AM

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So I was late to school and didn’t have time to pack my lunch so all I ate was just a banana and a beef stick

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For lunch today

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And then there was 2nd period

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I was working

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And shit was pissing me off

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I had this one annoying fuck dude keep telling me stupid shit

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And he said I was a loser

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Bitch stfu you complain about all the weight you’ve gained and don’t do anything about it and being more and more food to class everyday, you smoke weed at home during school hours, you show up late to school and then get upset when the teachers say you’re failing

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I’m not fat shaming but I’m sick of this guys complaints

viral quarry May 8, 2024, 1:39 AM

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I understand you dont intead to be weight shaming, but when you describe someone as a fat fuck it really seems that way.

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You could maybe say a larger person, or somebody who gained weight, to be a but more respectful.

old raptor May 8, 2024, 2:11 AM

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viral quarry I understand you dont intead to be weight shaming, but when you describe someone...

Right I should i probably edit that

old raptor May 8, 2024, 4:28 AM

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Soo

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I’m sick

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And I’m staying home

old raptor May 8, 2024, 6:41 AM

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Okay I gotta go on a rant

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I'm so lonely. And I hate it

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I just hate all of it

old raptor May 8, 2024, 7:10 AM

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I hate how people have left me

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Why did God put me here?

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He should just kill me

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I wish he could just strike me down and take away my life

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I hate how others treat me

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I hate how I got stabbed in the fucking back! By the Dean of students and counselor

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They were my adults i went too for support

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But since they don't care about shit fuck them

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It's just hard

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I tried to talk with my best friend and she said she didn't wanna talk to me after my hostile towards her

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I'm glad I'm sick because fuck school

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All that place does is make me feel unsafe and sad

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I got betrayed twice in a few weeks

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First my friend group

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Now the dean of students and counselor

old raptor May 8, 2024, 6:45 PM

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I genuinely hate some dudes so much

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They absolutely sicken me

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I had a friend who was ||SA’ed|| a while ago

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And since they’re scared of men they’re scared of me

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I feel so bad for her

old raptor May 8, 2024, 7:30 PM

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I swear I don’t deserve friends at all

distant lion May 8, 2024, 7:38 PM

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U do deserve friends im so sorry for ur friend but its not ur fault shes scared of u its just cz thoose dumb guys

old raptor May 8, 2024, 7:48 PM

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distant lion U do deserve friends im so sorry for ur friend but its not ur fault shes scared ...

Bullshit

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I’ve been lonely as fuck for the past 24 hours

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I spent lunch alone at school yesterday

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Thank God, I’m sick at home right now because I did not really wanna wake up and go to school today

distant lion May 8, 2024, 7:49 PM

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old raptor Bullshit

Matt its rly not ur fault tho

old raptor May 8, 2024, 7:49 PM

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distant lion Matt its rly not ur fault tho

What isn’t?

distant lion May 8, 2024, 7:57 PM

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old raptor What isn’t?

I mean u do deserve friends its not ur fault that shes scared of u its just that she’s traumatized so dont blame urself for it and think that u don’t deserve friends

old raptor May 8, 2024, 8:07 PM

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distant lion I mean u do deserve friends its not ur fault that shes scared of u its just that...

I guess

old raptor May 8, 2024, 9:14 PM

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I’m in her bio😔

old raptor May 8, 2024, 9:55 PM

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old raptor I’m in her bio😔

She may have broken my heart 5 months ago but fuck I still miss her

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I miss her so much

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I miss the way we would cuddle

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The way we would just laugh at and hangout

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we were actually in talks of getting married and having children in the future

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I wish it really would come true

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😔

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I don’t deserve this

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I don’t deserve love

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Never have and never did and never will get it

old raptor May 9, 2024, 1:42 AM

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I think I just ate gluten

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Yep I most definitely did

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Oh fuck bruh

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Fuck that restaurant

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I hate eating from there they always fuck uo the orders and put gluten on my food instead of gluten free

old raptor May 9, 2024, 4:38 AM

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Well

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The gluten part is solved

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I hate how she broke up with me I just hate it

old raptor May 9, 2024, 5:54 AM

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I gotta let out the negativity on this one

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What is actually wrong with me?

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I feel like such a disgrace

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This fuckin gluten shit is still effecting me

old raptor May 9, 2024, 6:16 AM

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I've turned into my dad and I hate it

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The love between him and my mom failed

old raptor May 10, 2024, 11:12 PM

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My mf needy friend is so needy idk what to do about her

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She needs to chill out

old raptor May 11, 2024, 1:25 AM

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Okay holy hell bruh

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So our school is having a plant sale and I was helping sell plants

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And this dude is so fucking gross

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This one girl was sitting at the table and holy hell she was greeting people

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She asked for this kids Snapchat and this kid which was my co worker and my classmate he started talking about the girl in a very sexual way

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The dude was sagging his pants as well

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And started begging me to pull up his pants and this girl looked at us like we were crazy but she smiled so idk what the hell that means

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It’s just holy hell bruh. Why the hell would you say shit like that

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There’s little kids with their parents shopping

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Some mfs really disgust me

old raptor May 12, 2024, 3:35 AM

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Why do I feel so lonely? I hate it

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It’s so annoying

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I keep getting more Ls then Ws

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Parents divorce + divorce pain + arguments + love of my life left me +

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Why can’t I just be happy?

old raptor May 12, 2024, 5:30 PM

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Does anybody ever feel like they’re ugly?

old raptor May 13, 2024, 1:41 AM

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Good grief

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Today has been so annoying

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I had to go to my aunts house for Mother’s Day

old raptor May 13, 2024, 3:22 AM

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How could I be born such a fuck up?

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I fuck up so much

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I fucked up my relationship

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I fucked up some of my friendships

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I hate the way I look and I hate the way I act

old raptor May 13, 2024, 7:20 AM

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I don't wanna go to school tomorrow

old raptor May 13, 2024, 8:14 AM

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Im so cooked bruh

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It's 1 am and Im having trouble sleeping

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It's too godamn hot

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I have to wake up in 4 hours and it's too godamn hot

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Fml fml fml fml fml fml fml fml

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I gotta love just laying down In bed hot asf in the middle of the night tryna sleep but it's so hot I'm sweaty asf

old raptor May 14, 2024, 1:32 AM

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Godamn I need a break

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So I would journal this in my journal that I had recently gotten a 2 weeks ago but since I’m at my dads I guess I’m gonna have to stick online

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Okay so I have 27 days left of school

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I hate how some mfs treat me like seriously

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I hate going to my dads sometimes

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He’s just like sorta annoying

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And honestly sometimes it’s like bruh stop that shit

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I just need a break bruh

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Just so much is going on idefk what to do

old raptor May 14, 2024, 2:31 AM

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I’m drowning in makeup work

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Thank fuck there’s only 27 days left of this year and I get freedom

old raptor May 14, 2024, 4:52 AM

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I can’t believe I’m almost done with this shit then I’m in my senior year

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I’ve dealt with so much stuff these past few years

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Oh my friend blocked me

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Idgaf atp

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Multiple people have left me

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If the girl I thought about marrying me has left me

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I don’t give a shit about anybody else leaving me

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You know I don’t think I can do another year of this shit

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There’s just so much weight on my shoulders all I’m tryna do is live my fucking life

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I hate how my dad keeps apologizing over and over again about divorcing my mom

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Yeah you broke her heart 3 times and there’s no turning back

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The damage is done, the hole is deep.

old raptor May 14, 2024, 6:19 AM

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My room is too hot once again

old raptor May 14, 2024, 6:50 AM

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Nvm

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Its actually more chill

old raptor May 14, 2024, 2:42 PM

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I forgot my fucking journal on the bed

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Okay I guess I have to use this to journal

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Bruhhh

old raptor May 14, 2024, 7:30 PM

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I just wanna head tf home ong

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Thank for my sleep wasn’t as bad as the night before

old raptor May 15, 2024, 1:21 AM

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Gotta love how we say everytime we need a break someone has to not let me have a break and everyone tells me to fuck off

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Godamn I hate life so much

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I will never be happy

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Why is it always me?

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The one that has to struggle

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The one no one understands

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No matter how hard I try people just hate on me

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Fuckin bitch ass Stevie

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Always fuckin hating on me in English cause I try my best and she doesn’t accept it

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Wreteched ass bitch

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I have to clean my bathroom in this hour because since I accident clogged my fucking toilet with toilet paper now my mom has to call my grandpa to fix it

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And she’s calling him tonight

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When now is not a good time

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In other bad news my sisters dumbass left the fucking door open and cat pees in there

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So now my bathroom smells like piss

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Now I have to clean that up as well

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All because people wanna fuck up my shit

old raptor May 15, 2024, 2:01 AM

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Holy fuck I’m so godamn pissed off rn!

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My mom fucking sucks

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She doesn’t really fucking care

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She doesn’t fucking care it all

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I shoudlve offed myself so she could fuck off

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My life is falling apart as we speak

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I was worried about my friend today

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This morning she said she was gonna off herself

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Or she could’ve

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And honestly she means the world to me and I almost cried

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I hate how so much shit has gone down these past few years

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I’ve actually gone crazy

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Just my god

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Why can’t I just be happy?

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Why is it always the same shit

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And people are fucking crazy nowadays which is something I hate

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Because my god I hate doing this

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I just wanna be successful

old raptor May 15, 2024, 5:02 AM

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Good grief I need a break from life just so much shit is going on and I just hate it

dire gate May 15, 2024, 7:11 AM

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Ong

old raptor May 15, 2024, 7:30 AM

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Tomorrow I'm scared to go to school

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I feel so alone

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I hate the people there

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Real mfs like me don't deserve this shit

old raptor May 15, 2024, 7:39 AM

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old raptor Good grief I need a break from life just so much shit is going on and I just hat...

Is it that hard from me to get a break

old raptor May 15, 2024, 4:33 PM

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Good grief I need a break

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So apparently I can’t talk to women anymore

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Everytime I talk to a girl some fucking idiot yells out: "W rizz"

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I once talked to the German exchange student because I was curious about Germany and these kids started yelling out "W rizz" and asking if I like her

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It’s fucking embarrassing

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And the way she looked at me bruh

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She looked at me horrified as fuck

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Because ion got my jorunal with me

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I did take a break from this journal to do irl journaling

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This place give such a damn headache

old raptor May 15, 2024, 8:23 PM

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I just got fucking fat shamed

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Fuck some fucking motherfuckera

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Godamn parasites

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Fuck people

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Fuck this school

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And fuck my life

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I’m not eating anything for the rest of the mf day

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I only ate a beef stick and pizza today

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And yes

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I am sorta fat

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Well my shirts hide it a bit

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But I am fat a bit

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Christ

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Why is it always me having to deal with this stupid shit?

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Fucking parasites

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Not only did people bother me today

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I got into an argument with this girl over this offensive I made

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It was the dad left to get the milk

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I JUST WANNA BE LEFT ALONE

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YES I KNOW I FEEL FUCKING LONELY

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BUT I WISH I COULD FIND ACTUAL REAL AND NICE PEOPLE

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I HAVE REAL AND NICE PEOPLE BUT I BARLEY HAVE ANY OF THEM

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People really need to back the fuck off

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I hate getting shamed for shit

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People always say I look sad. Random people do

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No shit I’m sad asf. I have parents getting divorced, I have a sister who hates the way I act, my mom doesn’t believe in me

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I can’t believe I almost cried yesterday

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When I get home I have to clean my fuckin bathroom because I didn’t finish it yesterday

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This is just gods way of punishing me

#

I hate the way people act

#

And I hate the younger generation

#

School has fallen

#

And has turned to shit

old raptor May 15, 2024, 10:29 PM

#

Today was chilling in the weight room

#

So I went to go fill up my water bottle

#

And I came back

#

And this kid asks me for my water bottle

#

And then when I say no

#

He gets all mad when I take a sip of my own water

#

What is it with annoying mfs always trying to drink your water? Like I don’t know you

#

And then he started asking me a bunch of questions

#

And then his friend started fucking fat shaming me and asking if i workout and why I don’t have a six pack

#

And so

#

Then this dude who wanted my water and

#

Then he was like I’m just checking in with you and wanna make sure you’re okay

#

He doesn’t actually give a fuck

#

Nobody gives a fuck Nowadays

#

Just leave people alone

old raptor May 16, 2024, 2:24 AM

#

My mom called me bullshit today when I said that she probably won’t help me with my next problem

old raptor May 16, 2024, 5:08 AM

#

I may have an ||ed||

old raptor May 17, 2024, 6:55 AM

#

Well

#

I think I might ||die||

#

Yesterday I cleaned my sink with clorox cleaner

#

And I went to get a drink from it and I still think there's some clorox in it

#

Even tho i scrubbed my sink with a sponge and let it dry

old raptor May 19, 2024, 1:06 AM

#

My sister is such a fucking asshole man

#

And my dad is annoying as fuck

#

Godamn they’re both annoying

#

I just got home from walking 3 miles

#

In the rain

old raptor May 21, 2024, 11:56 PM

#

Man this school is annoying asf bruh

#

Why do people ask me for my wage for food sometimes

#

Like seriously

old raptor May 22, 2024, 1:16 AM

#

Okay I gotta go on a rant

#

Well

#

I fucked up

#

I made a mistake that got me banned from my friends server

#

And got me blocked by them

#

They had told me the night before that I couldn’t vent and I thought I could come back tomorrow (which is now today) and I was just venting about kids at my school

#

So yeah they blocked/banned me

#

So well i fucked up

#

It’s my fault

#

I should’ve been more careful and aware

#

But I wasn’t

#

Such a smart person you are Matt

old raptor May 22, 2024, 1:50 AM

#

Most of my friends block me

#

Lucy, Ari, Avi, now they

old raptor May 22, 2024, 8:06 AM

#

School has been really pissing me off lately

#

Why are people still my friends?

#

I deserve to be alone

#

I don't deserve friends

#

Like I just want true friends

#

I can't believe how much of a fuck up I am

#

No matter how hard I try

#

Nobody can see how hard I try

old raptor May 22, 2024, 4:13 PM

#

Thank god I have a 4 day weekend

#

I have Friday off and Monday off

old raptor May 22, 2024, 10:37 PM

#

Man today has sucked bruh

#

I’ve had to work all week and thank god I have Friday and Monday off

old raptor May 23, 2024, 12:43 AM

#

You know

#

I deserve to be dead

#

I really do

#

Well congratulations

#

You won!

#

My war against life has won

#

Life has won

#

I don’t deserve love or happiness

#

I don’t deserve to be happy, I don deserve love

#

CHRIST

#

EVERYTIME SHIT GETS BETTER

#

IT TURNS BACK TO SHIT AGAIN

#

IT BECOMES GREAT THEN FALLS DOWN

#

I DESERVE TO BE IN A GRAVE RIGHT NOW

#

EVERYTIME

#

WHY CANT I JUST BE HAPOY FOR CHRIST SAKE

#

JUST GODAMNIT

#

OKAY I NEED TO GO OFF TODAY

#

SCHOOL WAS SHIT

#

I AM BEING TARGETED BY THIS ONE KID AND NOBODY BELIEVES ME THAT HE IS OUT TO GET ME

#

THE DUDE HAS THREATENED ME

#

STARES AT ME MENACINGLY

#

i sometimes question my faith in god

#

Like why god?

#

Why do you keep giving me bad times?

old raptor May 23, 2024, 1:28 AM

#

For the past few days this guy has been trying to terrorize me

#

And then

#

I’m over here like what the fuck man

#

What did I do to you?

#

I’m 19 chapters behind on health book work

#

And then I had to walk home with my sister today

old raptor May 23, 2024, 1:31 AM

#

old raptor I AM BEING TARGETED BY THIS ONE KID AND NOBODY BELIEVES ME THAT HE IS OUT TO GET...

This kid was being driven home by somebody

#

But he stared at me through the car driving by

#

And honestly

#

When I crossed the street

#

My heart was beating really fast

#

I was scared that he would tell the person to turn around and they’d follow me home

#

I have been followed home before by kids I don’t like

#

That’s why

#

I don’t tell anybody where I live at school

#

So my ex dmed me today

#

Wishing me an early happy birthday

#

Telling me the classic shit

#

I need to get her her

#

And since I remembered all the good times with her

#

Well

#

Ofc I see happy couples

#

On the street

#

But no

#

I had to pick someone and I had to catch feelings for her d

#

Never trust a woman with a high body count

#

They’ll hurt you

#

Even if they regret their past

#

Why does everyone else have to be happy?

#

But why can’t it be me?

old raptor May 23, 2024, 5:35 AM

#

I just gotta go on a rant

old raptor May 23, 2024, 5:54 AM

#

Well I did it

#

I cried after 3 months ending my no crying streak

#

I couldn't hold it in any longer

old raptor May 24, 2024, 1:58 AM

#

Okay

#

Today was just

#

Overwhelming and tiring I Don’t even know what to do anymore

old raptor May 24, 2024, 9:07 AM

#

Forgot to write what I wanted to write about

#

I’ll get to it in a bit

old raptor May 24, 2024, 9:23 AM

#

Okay so

#

This week was horrible

#

I cried last night after being so alone

#

Today I woke up and I went to school

#

One of the traitors of my old friend group saw me and smiled

#

Like you manipulating asshole fuck off

#

2nd was chill until the class clown came along and started saying skibbdi shit

#

Idefk shit was nervr funny to begin with

#

So then I went to 3rd which was fine

#

Then 4th

#

Where this girl kept bothering me

#

And she doesn't get shit done in the classn

#

She and this boy were messing around while we wee tryna play this game in class

#

So this dude

#

Is fucking useless on every job or team work we do

#

He doesn't listen, he's just on snapchat,

#

He watches adult content in class

#

Shows some of us the most morbid stuff

old raptor May 24, 2024, 4:59 PM

#

Like it’s insane like. I don’t know why people give him important jobs when all he does is just fool around

#

Then after that there was my dad

#

Ever since the divorce we have dinner Thursday and Sunday with my dad

#

Me and my sister do

#

And so yesterday was Thursday

old raptor May 24, 2024, 5:24 PM

#

And we were supposed to have dinner with my dad

#

And we didn’t go

#

I refused to go after what my dad did

old raptor May 24, 2024, 5:27 PM

#

old raptor For the past few days this guy has been trying to terrorize me

So my dad said go and find him and go ask him about why he acts this way

#

So I did

#

And the kid refused to elaborate

#

So he ended up mocking me

#

Of course my counselor did nothing to help

#

So she didn’t call him out

#

When he mocked me

#

But when I said: "go to hell" she called me out

#

And so then I’ve been telling my dad several times to not talk with her

#

My dad is trying to help me and I don’t want his help

#

So he’s been wanting to talk to my counselor for a bit and they talked yesterday

#

So she showed up to my class during 6th

#

And asked if she could talk to me

#

So I had to go and talk to her

#

And she finally said she talked with him but she can’t do anything because she’s not an administrator

#

She’s just a guidance counselor

#

But she’s talked with kids in the past

#

So she doesn’t care at all

#

So I called my dad

#

And he didn’t apologize for talking with her after I told her not too

#

And then

#

I told him I’m not showing up for dinner and he got all mad

#

That’s the thing

#

My dad is crazy

#

I don’t wanna be known as the kid with the crazy dad

#

And so then some side things that also happened

#

I got flipped off by this girl in math

#

I got falsely accused by this kid in health class

#

Because I called his friend lizzo

#

Which she got mad

#

And then he accused me of calling him Jabba the Hutt

#

So yeah

#

And then my birthday is coming up next Thursday

#

And I’m not excited for shit

#

I hate having 2 birthday parties

#

Stupid divorce parents

#

Divorce is ruining society

#

It’s so normalized now I feel like love doesn’t work out

#

I barley enjoy shit anymore

#

I’ve been feeling lonely for weeks. And for what? Why?

#

Real mfs like me don’t deserve this shit

#

Yet

#

It keeps happening to me

#

People always tell me ignore people and that they’re just trying to get a reaction out of you

#

So why is it multiple people?

#

It’s always multiple people and I hate having to deal with them

#

Honestly I just wanna get my presents for my birthday eat cake

#

And then just end this school year

#

My dad doesn’t understand

#

Why did he have to go and divorce my mom? things were going great and then he just had to do that

old raptor May 24, 2024, 6:24 PM

#

I feel so lonely and I hate it

old raptor May 25, 2024, 3:18 AM

#

I hate taking pills

#

I seriously do

#

I have to take this medicine for my Anxiety and my acid reflux

#

And I hate how they feel and taste

#

Jeez

#

What did I do to deserve all this?

old raptor May 25, 2024, 4:13 AM

#

Okay

#

I ate some pizza I feel better now

old raptor May 25, 2024, 9:01 AM

#

Jesus Christ bruh

#

Can I stop getting betrayed for 3 fucking seconds?

#

I wrote about the kid from my counselors office a while ago

#

Let’s call him Mr terror

#

Since he tries to always terrorize me

old raptor May 25, 2024, 9:52 AM

#

That lying sack of shit counselor wants to meet with me next week to talk about the kid who's been trying to terrorize me

#

Fuck this

#

Goodnight

old raptor May 25, 2024, 9:16 PM

#

I do not feel good today

#

I have acid reflux

#

I need to take my medicine

old raptor May 26, 2024, 9:17 AM

#

old raptor May 27, 2024, 2:07 AM

#

Idk why im so stressed out

#

This Thursday is my birthday and i honestly am not exited

old raptor May 27, 2024, 2:32 AM

#

I feel so lonely

#

Me and my best friend have been busy all day

#

And honestly I’m tired of how me and her barely hangout. I just wanna play Fortnite with her and text her while listening to music

old raptor May 27, 2024, 9:18 AM

#

Just one of them nights

old raptor May 27, 2024, 8:07 PM

#

I don’t even know how to feel anymore

#

Everytime I eat I always feel sick

#

And honestly I’ve never told my mom or dad about it cause I don’t want them to spend money on my health

#

My mom is already a single mom and they’re getting divorced

#

So I don’t want them to waste money on me

old raptor May 27, 2024, 11:17 PM

#

I don’t even know what the hell im doing anymore

#

I havent known for the past 4 years

#

I feel lonely, I feel scared,

#

I feel as if

#

Everyone just walks right past me

old raptor May 28, 2024, 12:41 AM

#

Good fucking grief my sister is a bitch

#

I hate her ass

#

She never takes accountability and always messes everything up

#

So great

#

I’m just trying to watch tv and my sister lost the remote

#

And then when she tries to use the other remote I told her that shit doesn’t work and then she said I lost it

#

When I haven’t watched tv in days

#

When she’s been watching over the weekend

#

Fucking lying prick

#

That no good smelling lying no accountability bitch really needs to fuck the hell off

#

Why do people no longer take accountability?

#

Like shit is so annoying

#

My best friend and I had an argument just like we were playing around

#

And she left for a few hours

#

And I she hasn’t texted me

#

Honestly she’s just showing the reality

#

I need to wake up to reality

#

I’m gonna be alone

#

No girl is gonna love me

#

I’m just gonna be all alone

#

I don’t wanna go to school tomorrow at all

haughty arrow May 28, 2024, 3:16 AM

#

I hope things get better @old raptor

old raptor May 28, 2024, 3:17 AM

#

haughty arrow I hope things get better <@1031303014750900225>

Thank you❤️

old raptor May 28, 2024, 5:47 AM

#

I really need a break

#

From life

#

From all of it

old raptor May 28, 2024, 7:18 AM

#

I fucked up my no ||sh|| counter

#

130 DAYS DOWN THE FUCKING DRAIN

#

ALL THE WORK I DID AND THEN THOUGHT ABOUT IT CAUSE I WAS SAD AND LONELY

#

But no

#

I fucked up

#

I now need to pay the price

#

I have to clean up my tears now

#

I feel so stupid and ashamed rn

#

I can't believe all my hard work is now ruined

#

Because of my bitch ass lonely ugly ass gets no girls ass non verbal learning disorder ass

#

I'll need to talk to a trusted adult tomorrow

haughty arrow May 28, 2024, 10:43 AM

#

old raptor I fucked up my no ||sh|| counter

My man

#

Too bad you did that

#

you should never do that

haughty arrow May 28, 2024, 10:46 AM

#

old raptor I'll need to talk to a trusted adult tomorrow

yeah that would help a lot

old raptor May 28, 2024, 1:36 PM

#

So

#

Idek what to do anymore

#

Last time I was feeling ||suicidal|| my mom was called to my school and cried and hugged me then took me home

old raptor May 28, 2024, 9:31 PM

#

I’m so fucking stressed out

#

Idefk what to do anymore

#

My sisters dumbass lost the fucking remote so right now I’m trying to chill send relax and I can’t because the remote is fucking lost!

#

This whole room is a fucking mess

#

My mom fucked it all up

#

No wonder I can’t find anything in this damn junk pile

#

I’ve searched the whole room

#

And I cannot find it

#

God people have to fuck everything up

#

Godamn people suck

old raptor May 28, 2024, 10:18 PM

#

I’m so fucked

#

I’m so fucked

#

I’m so fucked

#

I’m so fucked

#

I AM SO FUCKED

#

I’m 20 chapters behind

#

On this book work

#

And I’m dead

old raptor May 28, 2024, 11:03 PM

#

It’s all supposed to be due tomorrow

vocal dove May 29, 2024, 12:13 AM

#

: (

#

Do you want some help?

#

About your assignment?

#

Im free right now

#

Hey matt

vocal dove May 29, 2024, 4:33 AM

#

Hey

#

Let me help you

old raptor May 29, 2024, 8:55 PM

#

I’m almost home

#

And thank god

#

I need a break from all those entitled little shits at school

#

Demanding my answers on math

#

Fuck off bigch

#

You’re nothing but an entitled, lying, ignorant needy pathetic and ignorant little shit

#

Little shit

#

I’m just smarter then him

#

He’s always late and then demands our teacher to let him use the bathroom

old raptor May 30, 2024, 12:19 AM

#

Okay so

#

Good news

#

I have until Monday to finish all the work

#

Well

#

I’ll stay up late at night too finish this

#

Ima work on it on Saturday and Sunday

#

Bout to be doing work late at night like this

#

Godamn my mom sucks

#

She’s annoying

#

Always complaining and taking things personally

#

I said a word I didn’t know and it’s a word that’s like

#

It’s this ice cream in 3 flavors and it’s called a spladoni or some shit

#

And my mom statted trying to correct me and got mad when I said I didn’t care

vocal dove May 30, 2024, 6:42 AM

#

old raptor I have until Monday to finish all the work

Nice

#

That is good to hear

old raptor May 30, 2024, 2:03 PM

#

It’s ya boys birthday

dull basin May 31, 2024, 2:41 AM

#

old raptor It’s ya boys birthday

happy b'day

old raptor May 31, 2024, 5:49 AM

#

This birthday

#

Was great asf

#

No negative mfs today

#

Just me and my friends hanging out

#

They sung me happy birthday

velvet widget May 31, 2024, 11:37 PM

#

old raptor It’s ya boys birthday

happy late birthday 😭

old raptor Jun 1, 2024, 1:19 AM

#

Bout to get teriyaki

#

W frfr

old raptor Jun 1, 2024, 2:39 AM

#

Today bruh

old raptor Jun 1, 2024, 2:40 AM

#

velvet widget happy late birthday 😭

Thank you Taylor🫶🏼

#

Alright

trim pier Jun 1, 2024, 2:40 AM

#

Belated happy birthday internet stranger 🥳

old raptor Jun 1, 2024, 2:41 AM

#

trim pier Belated happy birthday internet stranger 🥳

Thanks boomer

#

It was yesterday😭😭

velvet widget Jun 1, 2024, 2:41 AM

#

old raptor Thank you Taylor🫶🏼

ofc

old raptor Jun 1, 2024, 2:42 AM

#

Alright I gotta vent fr

#

Either I’m an opinionated and sensitive little shit

#

Or some mfs rlly annoy me

#

#

I was tryna chill today

#

And so I’m drowning a bit in work

#

Been thinking about getting a job lately

#

I need the money I need something to do ngl

#

Cause my life is boring as shit

#

So my sister has honestly been being a pain in the ass ngl

#

Well great

#

I’m stuck in This city

#

This city has the most shittiest drivers ever I swear to god

#

I saw people speeding by

#

And there was car accidents

#

And we can’t leave the city since we’re tryna get home but the freeway is too slow

#

So we’re tryna go around

#

These drivers suck💀

#

This shit sucks so much bruh omg

#

Okay let’s see

#

Woman stuck in traffic trying to back up
Dodge challenger side door damaged
2 accidents
White car speeding asshole

#

Yeah

#

5 times with shitty drivers

#

Some mfs should be banned from owning cars ong

#

My sister and mom have been a pain in the ass today

old raptor Jun 1, 2024, 11:34 PM

#

Today I woke up and I decided to go on a walk to the waterfront

#

And the waterfront has turned into a shit hole for gods sake

#

Just this place is so shit

#

A bunch of weed smokers and shady people

#

Shit smells

#

And then today I was walking and there was a free Palestine protest

#

And so all these people were just screaming and waving flags and had signs

#

Now good for them

#

But how does this help exactly?

old raptor Jun 2, 2024, 1:52 AM

#

Why does my family have to be so annoying

old raptor Jun 2, 2024, 4:31 AM

#

good lord my aunt is such a fucking bitch

#

I shoudlve stayed home

#

This is why i barley go out to hang with people cause they always do some shit

#

I know I complain about being lonely, and not hanging out with friends

#

But this shit is really getting on my nerves

#

We went bowling and I was winning and doing good

#

And my aunt was annoying asf

#

"Wait let the thing refill with the pins"
Well no shit I’m not blind

#

She wanted me to only use bowling balls that weigh 10

#

And got all upset when I used the 8s

#

It’s 2 down literally calm down

#

And then my sister used a ball from the other side

#

So the ball holder had 2 lines for our party and the other party

#

And we all starting using each others balls

#

But my aunt got upset when I used a different one

#

But when my sister one did she didn’t say shit

#

Sexist ass bitch

old raptor Jun 3, 2024, 12:10 AM

#

I’m so stressed out rn

#

I was hungry and wanted to make some teriyaki

#

And my mom hadn’t cleaned out air fryer

#

So great I had to clean that

#

Of course I don’t use this air fryer so I don’t know how to work it

#

I let my emotions get to me since I’m hungry and annoyed so I punch the fucking thing

#

And hurt my hand

#

My sister eventually helped me figure it out

#

But now I have to leave for my dads apartment for dinner

#

Which is where he’ll be annoying

#

I’m so tired of doing this shit

#

I really am

#

I just want school to end

#

I’ve had enough of this year

#

Almost ||dying|| Lucy leaving, breaking up with one of my girlfriends

#

Just

#

I want a win

#

I just wanna win

#

Instead I keep taking Ls

#

And I work so hard

#

And no matter how hard I work

#

I always end up back at square one

old raptor Jun 3, 2024, 3:47 AM

#

My non verbal learning ass fucked up

#

I wasn’t supposed to put the glass jars in the main recycling

#

But just this small container

#

So being the stupid kid I am I decided to throw the jars into the recycling bin and they smashed and I had a good laugh outta it

#

And then my mom said I had to remove those shards otherwise recycling would ban us

green rampart Jun 3, 2024, 3:57 AM

#

old raptor Almost ||dying|| Lucy leaving, breaking up with one of my girlfriends

one of my? 💀

old raptor Jun 3, 2024, 3:57 AM

#

green rampart one of my? 💀

Sorry I worded that wrong

#

I mean I was dating this one girl then we broke up

#

I’ve dated people before more then one

green rampart Jun 3, 2024, 3:57 AM

#

oh

old raptor Jun 3, 2024, 3:57 AM

#

Not at the same time of course

green rampart Jun 3, 2024, 3:58 AM

#

yeah man

#

that's bad to do, don't

old raptor Jun 3, 2024, 3:58 AM

#

So yeah sorry I worded that really bad

old raptor Jun 3, 2024, 3:58 AM

#

green rampart that's bad to do, don't

Ofc I never will

old raptor Jun 3, 2024, 6:35 AM

#

Good lord Ion wanna go to school tomorrow

old raptor Jun 3, 2024, 8:01 AM

#

I can't sleep

old raptor Jun 3, 2024, 7:16 PM

#

Well

#

I’m sad today

#

2 people have almost asked what my irl jorunal is

#

About

old raptor Jun 3, 2024, 9:12 PM

#

I’m not excited for the rest of my life

#

On anything tbh

#

I barley get any love/or butterflies from anyone

#

Now all everyone does is just gives me brain damage

old raptor Jun 3, 2024, 9:33 PM

#

I honestly hate having pets and here’s why

#

I have having a friend and a comfort animal and then I don’t want them to leave my life

#

My cat is old

#

And he will unfortunately be gone later on in college or when I become an adult

#

He is 10 or 11 rn

#

And I don’t want him to die

#

It’s a pain that he will be gone in the next few years

#

So today was honestly shit

#

Like godamn

#

Ion fw freshman or the younger generations

#

Literally

#

They have no respect for anybody

#

So I saw an old friend of mine and she was very friendly

#

I miss talking with her

#

I can’t use my irl journal at school anymore

#

People are starting to get on my trail

#

I went to go throw away the napkin from my sandwich and this kid grabbed my journal and read it

#

I think he saw some of my shit

#

I’m not sure

#

I can’t leave my fucking shit on the table at all

#

I can’t leave anything for 3 fucking seconds and somebody takes it

#

Man I’m just so upset about today

#

I then got to health class and people started making fun of me

#

Saying that I have a "diary" a

#

It is not a fucking diary

#

All these bitches judging me for journaling

#

Fuck outta here

#

Lemme do wtf I wanna do

#

And then

#

The substitute teacher

#

Really fucking said: "oh is that your Diary?" Ofc then everybody who was teasing me ended up laughing

#

I hate being alone I just hate it so much

#

Why did I have to be placed in classes with all these fucking people?

#

I barely have any classes with my friends

#

So then the dean of students

#

Was walking with some guy

#

Idk who the hell this guy is

#

And so she’s showing him around or sum

#

And when I’m walking by she says: "hey Matthew"
I respond: "go away"
And then she said: "okay nice seeing you"

#

The tone in her voice changed so fast

#

Fuck the dean of students and fuck the counselor

#

They let me get terrorized by all these people and don’t do shit to help

#

They just wanna see me fail

#

Well guess what bitches? I’m still standing!

#

I’ve always been standing

#

And then those kids who were teasing me called me nosy

#

Hey they wanna see my jorunal

old raptor Jun 4, 2024, 2:15 AM

#

I feel so ashamed bruh

old raptor Jun 4, 2024, 10:55 PM

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What a failed life I’ve lived

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Today this kid threatened to ||rape|| me

old raptor Jun 5, 2024, 12:46 AM

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Kids these days are just absolute trash

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People don’t understand me at all

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I’m so fucking done living throughout the shitty life of mine

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I hate standing tall and staying strong and people are always like "oh it’ll be okay" "or oh things will get better" so why haven’t they gotten better for the last damn four years!?

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Goddamnit bruh

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All I am is just a 17-year-old who’s just trying to figure out his life

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Only 17 years in the life and I already want to retire

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I’m just so tired of doing this and doing that

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What did I do to deserve any of this?

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I don’t deserve a divorce or to be alone

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I don’t deserve to be picked on by random people just wanting a simple dumb reaction out of me

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Then there’s the people who are nosy with my journal

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Multiple people have started to try and see my journal and honestly it’s really starting to piss me the fuck off

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That journal contains my most personal stuff that I write about

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And people are so nosy that I have to literally bring it with me and I can’t even leave it on the table for three fucking seconds otherwise somebody will read it

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It literally happened yesterday when I went to go throw some trash away. This kid opened it and started reading it.

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Then there’s my fucking dad bruh

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He’s now all worried about me because he knows about the kid who just been trying to terrorize me

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I’ve mentioned this kid a few times in my journal, but yeah so my dad emailed the principal and every day my dad just now asked me. Oh, did he mess with you? Oh did he see you?

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No, and no

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Barely have any support on this fucking issue since my counselor wants to be such a fucking stuck up ass bitch and fucking betray me

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She tried to say hi to me and I told her to go away

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And what does my mom do she defends both of them, the Dean students and my counselor

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She simply doesn’t understand how they betrayed me

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I just want happiness and I’m so tired of doing this shit all the goddamn time

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That fucking fish lips piece of shit ass

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I hate how I am the center of all this bullshit

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I will only have one more year and I’m trying to get the fuck out of here and yet I still keep having problems every day and every day

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This is why I don’t open up to anybody at school

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Because then they just laugh in my face or they’re just trying to fuck me over and say that oh when I’m doing isn’t good for me

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Lately I’ve been trying to journal in some of my classes

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And of course these immature fools start saying that’s a fucking diary and they start being all nosy saying that they want to see what’s inside and I’m like no and they keep wanting to see what’s inside and I just won’t fuck off about it

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And honestly, I have to ask the teacher if I can go on a walk in the halls and just journal

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It’s not a fucking diary they just wanna make fun of me if they see what’s inside

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"Oh I wanna journal" bull fucking shit go annoy someone else

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And then people keep asking me why am I upset?

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Because I'm trying to be happy! I've been trying to be happy these last 4 years. I've been struggling and working hard and standing tall and staying strong and for what? To get betrayed, go through a divorce, and end up lonely? Real good people like me don't deserve this shit. Yet I'm going through it and I hate it. Madison and Stockstad suck and yet mom still refuses to believe me about them. They don't wanna really help me. They just wanna see me fail just like the rest just like Bailey and Ian and that fucking fish lips do that. I don't even know whose name it is. Cocksucker loser friend. so no you don't understand nobody does. I just wanna be happy and yeah, I'll never achieve it because I'm stuck like this forever forever.

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Just fuck today I really hope tomorrow just comes faster at this point

old raptor Jun 5, 2024, 1:29 AM

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Thank God, I have a therapy appointment tomorrow because I really needed one

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I really don’t deserve this shit and somehow it still keeps piling up

old raptor Jun 5, 2024, 1:45 AM

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Oh heyyy what do you know?

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I have to write an essay that I didn’t write

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And that’s due Thursday

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But no I just wrote a whole essay about how I was born into a shit life

old raptor Jun 5, 2024, 6:23 PM

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I’m doing better now

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Going on a field trip

old raptor Jun 6, 2024, 1:18 AM

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I deserve to be dead

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I just deserve it

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I don’t know why and how I’m not dead yet

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I just can’t take this anymore

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I’m going insane at this point

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The people bothering me

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I can’t take this shit no more

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I just can’t

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I’m so going crazy

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I just wanna cry and lay down and die in my sleep

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I can’t with this shit no more

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I just can’t

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Real mfs like me don’t deserve this shit

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After all I would deserve it

jovial abyss Jun 6, 2024, 1:29 AM

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Relax, you can't break down so easily

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Worse phases have come and gone in this journal itself let alone your life.

old raptor Jun 6, 2024, 2:44 AM

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jovial abyss Relax, you can't break down so easily

Shush

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I don’t break down so easily

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This has been happening for weeks now and I’ve tried to hold it in and now I can’t

old raptor Jun 6, 2024, 2:45 AM

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jovial abyss Worse phases have come and gone in this journal itself let alone your life.

So why does bad stuff keep happening?

rustic silo Jun 6, 2024, 6:19 PM

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This reminds me of diary of a wimpy kid

old raptor Jun 6, 2024, 9:14 PM

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rustic silo This reminds me of diary of a wimpy kid

That’s it

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I’m done

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I’m so tired of people saying: "it’s a diary" "it’s a diary"

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This is not a fucking diary!

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This is a fucking jorunal that I talk about my deep state and dark times

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I’m not a fucking little girl who writes about ponies and fairy tales or rainbows or whatever bullshit!

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I write about my struggles and thoughts

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So people who read this

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Do not call this a diary

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It really pisses me off

old raptor Jun 7, 2024, 1:22 AM

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Today was just annoying

old raptor Jun 7, 2024, 1:49 AM

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My head hurts

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Today was honestly tiring. My arm is in pain and there was a bunch of other people just being annoying

old raptor Jun 7, 2024, 2:12 AM

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I got threatened by this girl she threatened to slap me

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There was just people complaining all damn day

old raptor Jun 7, 2024, 4:23 PM

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I swear to god some people need to shut the fuck up

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I’m tryna play uno with friends and this one kid is going behind me telling everyone my cards and shit

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It’s so fucking annoying

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I’m just tryna chill on a Friday and play the fucking game

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It wasn’t only him

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It was 2 other guys

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This is why as a special ed person myself I do not get along with other special ed people

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Just godamn

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Everyone is trying to kill my vibe

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I just wanna play cards and lay them down

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Then there’s the fucking betting

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For Christ sakes bruh

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Everyone is so riled up since we have 9 days left of school

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I’ll be way more happier when school ends

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Then there’s the guy that wouldn’t stfu

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He’s so annoying

old raptor Jun 7, 2024, 6:50 PM

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I am this close to pulling out my fucking hair and freaking out

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People still call my journals a diary

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People still get in my business and for what.

old raptor Jun 7, 2024, 6:51 PM

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old raptor I’m tryna play uno with friends and this one kid is going behind me telling ever...

I threw my cards at his face

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This one girl never wanted my number

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I can’t believe I fell for it again

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Okay

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I’ve given this girl my number a cause I was trying to be nice

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And when I texted at her

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She yelled at the dude who gave me her number

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I gave her my number twice and she always claimed she "she didn’t know her number"

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This is the wrong generation I’m stuck in

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I have a great heart and just

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Nobody sees it

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Everybody hates it

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I shouldn’t open my heart to anybody at this point

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Today has been so annoying already

old raptor Jun 7, 2024, 6:59 PM

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old raptor I got threatened by this girl she threatened to slap me

Her dumbass was complaining again as well!

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All this bitch does is just complain and never shuts the hell up

#Matt’s journal about life