#Matt’s journal about life
1 messages · Page 2 of 1
Which btw he kissed this girl without consent
And honestly it's like dude shut the fuck up
She was never your girlfriend
You basically committed ||sexual assault||
I don't mean to be an opinionated asshole or anything I'm just saying bro needs to stop
When me and my friend talk outside the hall during breakfast break in the morning it's always people we know saying hi they come by and say hi and their friends come over and make me and my friend feel weirded out asf
Don’t you love it when you have to wake up at 7:35 in the morning and go to a place for 7 hours and deal with the most stupidest people you’ve ever met for that long and get out at 2:05😀
Love school!!😀
Seriously hate this fucking shit
It’s so bad
Seriously
Lately I have not been in the mood
I just am not the one sometimes
Next class I have to go to math class
I just hope everybody will just be chill and calm
Why did I have to get put into health?
Everybody in there is younger then me except 3 kids
2 kids are older
But everybody else is a freshman
Honestly either I’m just an asshole or I don’t like working with the freshman
This one girl got mad at me for doing a joke as well cause I went behind my friend and scared him yesterday
And I said as a joke I Batman scare my friends and she got all upset
Honestly hate all these people
We have this politics kid that watches Donald trump talk and honestly fuck politics
Take it to debate club
I just hate that math class bitch
Her and her friends are just immature and loud asf
Honestly
So I fucked up
I only moved to this math class because my last math class was filled with annoying people and disrespectful people
Honestly it’s like
Yeah I got what I wanted cause I got moved
But I didn’t know I would end up with the same situation
So now I’m all alone
And then when I say I’m alone my teacher and mom say I need to make new friends
Sorry but my anti social and trust issues cannot
BRUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THIS FUCKING BITCH TOOK TO LONG WITH THE HALL PASS AND NOW CLASS IS ABOUT TO END
Good fucking lord I hate bitches like that
Taking the pass and then walking off with it and skipping class
Thank got only 30 more minutes till I get to go home
Hate this shithole they call a school
Only good news is I got an A on my math sheet
The girl who sprained my thumb wasn’t here in class today because I overheard she didn’t feel well
Can I stop encountering weird people? I swear to how
How do I deal with a clingy friend?
I have this friend that they text me like every 30 minutes
Like no offense but give me a break
All day with this girl
She keeps texting me asking a bunch of questions
Well great. She texted me: "I love you" oh fuck bruh
Now either I'm just a grumpy rude asshole
Or I don't like being hit up a lot
Okay day 3 in hell from coming back
I wish I could’ve stayed the fuck home
I was walking to class and this random guy ran his hand down my shoulder
I swear to god this is why I like to stay inside
Staying inside is the most healthy thing for me
What happened was
I was waking to class
I was walking to my class and this guy ran his hand down my shoulder and said hey big boy come here
So I went back to my counselors office to talk with her
I should’ve punched that fucker in the face
I’m sick and tired of these pervs just running around
Well my heart rate is going up now
I’m honestly scared
I have a friend who she has this cousin that needs to die
This cousin of hers needs to be put down
I’m not even joking. There is no other way
He’s done horrible stuff to her
And he will continue to
If he is not stopped
Honestly I don’t know what to say or do
All you can do tbh is just comfort them and help them through what they're going like how they're helping you and dealing with you even when you explode on them😀😑
Am I a horrible person or what?
But before we get into that
We almost got fuckin swatted today
Some idiot was caught trying to call 911 telling them that our school was getting ||shot|| up
What a bitch
Thank god his scum bag bitch ass got caught before he could make the call
I feel so ugly idk why
Everytime I feel ugly I feel like
Everybody just tells me that I’m not
I hate having severe anger issues
I have a short fuse and everytime I fail a video game I punch myself in the face or I slap myself in the face
I hate doing it and I don’t know why
I tried to defeat this boss and I died like 6 times on this video game I was playing
And my idiot ass started hitting my face and I hit my head with my conteoller
I’m glad this week is over honestly
Cause I needed a fuckin break for sure
You know…
I need a break
Just a break from life
Just a vacation some place far away
Someplace sunny
Where the waves collide
I just feel like
There’s too much going on in my life
I certainly need one
There’s a lot I gotta talk about
So for one
I fucked up
I saw my friend write in her journal she might do ||sh|| and she mentioned in it she needs some distractions
So I read it and didn’t say anything to her and tried to distract her in my own
And she ended uo doing it
Well I was right I guess I am ugly
Jesus Christ I’m so ugly
Honestly I swear
God hates me
He most definitely damn well does
Giving me adhd, giving me anxiety, giving me celiac disease
Can’t stand all of it
I also have non verbal learning disorder
And I’m social emotional
I swear I’m about to ram my head into a wall because I’m so annoyed
Everytime I tell somebody im ugly they always try and reassure me
And say I’m not
theres always someone who has it worse
but always someone who has it better
everyone is in different stages
think about the bigger picture
comparison is the thief of joy
might sound corny but its true
i feel ugly too man : ) me too.
Why do you feel ugly?
Good question
i guess probably because i dont get as much attention from girls as other guys i see do
i mean im 15 and have never had a girlfriend
never held hands with a girl before
I’ve had a girlfriend before like online dating
I’ve held hands with a girl and hugged one
I’ve gotten a kiss on the cheek before
exactly man you got it better than me : )
16
facts.
Ah fuck
Today is Sunday
Great
Only 24 hours until I have to return to the place I hate
This might sound stupid, but try to appreciate school a bit more. Like I understand a lot of people don't enjoy ir, or get annoyed by stuff going on, but try enjoy it. Take classes you're actually interested in, as well as try be interested in what you're being taught. Don't go to school dreading the day, thinking it'll suckz because it might be a better day than you think. Just ignore upsetting people, and don't bother talking to them
I’ll try
Welcome back to the Matt morning news!
On todays episode
I woke up and I wanna go back to bed
real shit
Don’t you love it when you’re tryna head to class and degenerates bother you
I swear I was walking to class and this group of idiots bother me
About last week I was in a conflict with this kid after he ran his hand down my shoulder and my mom blamed me for it
The kid who ran his hand down my shoulder I don’t know who the fuck this degenerate is
He got talked to by administration and this son of a bitch was like hey I’m sorry on Friday like dude shut the fuck up and do everybody a favor and fuck the hell off
I honestly no longer believe in 2nd chances
Can’t trust em for shit after they fuck up oncw
Today I was heading to talk to my counselor and about last week this kid offered me weed as well
Good lord can I just mind my business?
Like I swear to god it’s always the most annoying people
So surprising. Mr toucher and weed dude are friends
So I was walking to my counselors office and this weed dealer idiot starts waving me through the window and in my mind this is what I’m thinking:
And to they start jeering and say hey "n word"
Now I can’t say that word but they can
i think bro yaps a little too much
💀
You think?
totally not sir
what do they do?
Run around, say the most horrible stuff
Joke around about horrible things
damn bro i wouldn't trust that either
thats nothing to what people do to me
And what might that be?
they just yap and yap and yap and throw me around and shi
Like physical harm?
yeah one time a guy threw me around like tornado then dropped me and i got a nose bleed
i walked it off thoug
So you must be in college since you’re a bit older then me
😔 that's terrible bro i can't believe anyone does that
So why is your age 20+ role?
Ohh
So these guys just start jeering at me and this one dude who looks like a fucking fish waves to me and tells me I look good
Either I’ve turned into a grumpy old man and I’m 90 years too early but good fuckin lord I hate people
And so turns out
They ended up finding my number
The weed guy who offered me weed
Texted my number
Now I don’t know who the hell this dude is
Okay so today i went home and played some rdr1
What is with my dad?
Like
Yesterday he was acting weird
He found out about me being Insecure about my looks and he started saying stuff like: "who said that!?"
I just feel insecure about myself
Just finished a math sheet let’s goooooo
Okay today has been sorta going smooth
I swear why do I even use twitter tbh at this point
All I see is
Someone tweeting horny stuff or some disturbing video of somebody dying
I don’t know why I made a big deal about this
Okay so enough with my Twitter rant
Today I went to school and today was ass honestly
I was late to class because my dad always shows up late because he drives from his apartment to come pick us up
I finished a math sheet tho so rhat was good
good job!
I got into Trouble
I fucked up
I lost it today, I completely lost it. I went to my counselors office to talk to her and so she was in another office and she told me to wait for her to show up. So I went to sit in her office and there was this kid that I do not like and he is a negative person too me in every way possible. I told him: "quit your bitching" he then started saying I called him a "bitch" and then he said he wants to fight me so then this dude was being ableist piece of shit and start insulting me on being special and being a race baiting piece of shit by saying I called him the n word. After that I got upset and I told my counselor "fuck this shit" and told the kid "you are a negative asshole fuck you" and I stormed outta there
I hate being special ed. I just hate it
I get so much negative feedback for it and honestly I hate what it does to me
Just hating on me for shit that’s not my fault
Stuff that I was born with
I can’t believe I’m saying this but. I got betrayed by my friends
They’re not loyal, they’re racist, they’re rude, they never care
I never opened up about this but
We all used to be a friend group
And they all just turned bad
I have done so bad at life lately
I mean look at me
I’ve barley been eating lately
Only things I’ve eaten today was 2 slices of pizza and a sandwich and a chocolate bar
And I’m about to eat tacos
I flipped the hell out today
Why did I even wake the hell up today
I wish I was able to stay home
Mental health days should be mandatory if people are struggling
Today was a shit day today. It was completely draining and I did not like it whatsoever
I no longer trust my friends
They turned on me and have turned into horrible people
I can't believe I got used for 2 years by that kin fucking bastard
He never cared about me
He just used me for entertainment
A few weeks ago I went mini golfing with then and the one friend I trusted has become a racist
During the mini golfing hangout the dude started dropping the n word
Said it in our groupchat as well
I felt honestly uncomfortable after he said all that
I hate this shit so much
I hate being Betrayed
And of course when I have a negative opinion about someone they're always like: "well that's your problem"
Nobody ever takes my side
I hate when people step into the class to say hi too me
I'm fucking working in health class and since the door is open this one kid I don't like at all comes in too says hi
I hate school so much
I can't stand how much shit I have to put up with
Nobody ever takes my side
Thank God there's only like 11 weeks left of school for me
Yeah 11 more weeks of this shithole and then I'll be free for 3 months
I don't trust 80% of my school
I've had my number leaked and given to others
I've had my text messages about the stuff I struggle witg leaked
And stuff about my parents divorce leaked
Maybe I just don't deserve friends
They either are rude, betray me, or leave
Thank god this day is almost over and thank god it’s most Friday
Agreed, my friend. Agreed.
Well
Good update
Today I went on a roll on math
I finished 2 assignments and got 100% on this online work
Noice
Thank god tomorrow is Friday
friday is the best 🥳
I swear
I just wanna go home
My clingy friend is annoying asf
She keeps blowing up my phone everyday
Just telling me random shit
And acts ||horny|| around me and honestly it makes me uncomfortable asf
This is why I’m an introvert
And I keep to myself
It’s just like why
So now I’m in trouble
The nosy ass dean of students came in while I was apologizing to my counselor
And said so I sent some stuff to your mom
Man can she stop doing dumbass shit bruh
She tells my mom everything
About this about that
About all my problems with people
What’s fuckin worst out of all of it
Good fucking god I need a break from life
Fuck the dean of students and fuck both of my parents
My dean of students has nothing but blaming me for people bothering me
Why?
Cause they fuckin suck that’s why
My mom blamed me for this guy when I don’t know who this dude is
Mom also blamed me for this
I swear to god people come after me for the most stupidest shit
Parents can suck sometimes.
Honestly I’m done working with the dean of students
She doesn’t do shit
All she does is blame me for this and blame me for that
So fuck her
I feel like a horrible person
I fucked up today
I said something pretty horrible to a friend of mine
We were messing around and I said something about his haircut
Then mentioned the personal thing he told me in our group chat
He acted so calm about this personal thing of his which I kinda find sorta disturbing
Cheezie
I don’t think you realize how serious that is
What happened
I don’t want to have another day off tomorrow.
Tomorrow is Monday
If the dean of students says hi to me tomorrow
I’m ignoring her
She always tells my mom everything then my mom blames me for PEOPLE BOTHERING ME
Good morning journal
Monday 👎👎🥲
I swear I’m so tired of people leaving me
2 people have left me in the past 2 months
First my friend who disappeared
Now my friend who’s leaving because she was never allowed this fucking app in the first place and disobeyed her mother and was secretly using and now she’s leaving when I loved her!
I swear this shit is pissing me off
Maybe I don’t deserve friends
I’m gonna end up an old fuck and end up a 80 year old virgin with no wife no kids and no family members living alive or no friends
If I do have friends
They’ll probably move away
Or they’ll end up dead
Because sometimes when you’re old everybody dies!
Just it’s so bad
Well I’ve arrived in math
Fuck
Now I gotta deal with stupid ass shit
Only an hour left then I can go home
I need a break from life I swear
School has been mentally draining me I swear
I hate having to go to school for 7 hours dealing with people I don’t like
Today I woke up and was a bit late to school
After I eat my sandwich ima take a shower then ima work
I can’t stand my math class
The people in there are the most annoying and obnoxious people I have ever met
Good morning journal
Okay so I had a waffle this morning
I got to school on time so great morning
I swear I can’t listen too some songs anymore
There’s so much songs that make me sad when I listen to them I think about her and it makes me sad
Like the lyrics I hear remind me of her
This as well
Change the he’d with she’d
I’m not obsessed I used to be in love
And it failed because she broke my heart and shit
And when I listen to some music there’s some lyrics that remind me of her
Yes
And so when I listen to music there’s some lyrics in the songs that remind me of what happened with her
Or it’s like close to what happened
This because I cared about her
I swear to god can people walk faster in the halls
Godamn freshman
They just stand there walking slower then a ps4 game downloading
Slower then a godamn turtle
I just wanna go home
Thank god I’m here for 2 more hours then I’m home
This schools service is so ass literally the bathroom has better service💀💀
What the actual fuck is wrong with me?
I swear to god I hate having nlvd (non learning verbal disorder)
She then said she wants that to happen to her
Good lord porn was a horrible invention
It’s fried these people’s brains
I can’t with these kids🤦♂️
She’s 14 btw
I swear sex is just so normalized nowadays
I have a friend who knows somebody who was 12 and gave a ||blowjob|| to her boyfriend
12 is insanity
How the hell can somebody do this at 12
It’s fucking degeneracy
As someone who was Cheated on by a former ex gf who did a ||gang bang|| this shit makes me upset
This weekly rant of whatever the hell matt has to rant about!
Let’s get into it
I’ve been pissed the off the fucking edge lately
I feel like I’m truly not doing well at all
I hate waking up
I hate having to go to school
I hate having to deal with the people
Good lord it’s all tiresome
People get upset at me for asking questions
I truly hate how the hell I function
These are the things I have: I have:
ADHD
Celiac disease
Non learning verbal disorder
I can’t read body language
Good lord
Now I’m just realizing
My journal is filled with horrible shit
I hate how life is been treating me
I hate the way I walk
I have to check my feet once in a while to make sure I’m walking straight
I hate the way I look
I wish I was as smart as all the other kids
People get so pressed at me for being polite and when I say maam or sir
Like I’m being nice calm the fuck down you idiot
I’m honestly this close to running my head into a wall I swear
I just
Hate the dean of students now
She’s nothing but a spy
She informs my mom everything I do and doesn’t believe me about shit and blames me for shit
She sucks honestly
My friend has been scaring the shit out of me lately as well
They come in from behind when the door is open in health class and they scream from behind
They do it to me in the halls as well
They do it so much I have to avoid them everytime
Me after I feel dead inside today
Ask them to stop simple
I’ll try
I hate school so much
I have 2 presentations
I had to work on this presentation about alchohol
And now I have to do a presentation on the whole involvement with the US and the Middle East from 1941-2001
Alright today was honestly sort of a shit show
About to go into therapy
Good morning today is Thursday
By 2 dear friends who I love and care about have left me
I need to get some shit off my chest
I know I’m in class but she won’t see shit
This week has gone so shitty
Godamn I didn’t wanna wake up today ong
I cut off ties with my school counselor and the dean of students
I no longer feel safe around them
I think I’m going insane
You know
I’m gonna die alone
Because of me I guess
I lose everybody
I lost my friend in 2022 after she left when she was the most coolest person I ever met
I lost my friend when she betrayed me and sided with my cousin and his shitty friends
And then there’s those people who promise me saying: "I won’t leave you" those people are the most biggest cocksuckers on the planet I swear to god
I hate this shit
I hate it so much
I swear everytime I think I’m doing better some son of a bitch or scumbag has to try and ruin my day
Good god it’s everybody against the world almost everyday
Ofc my phone is at 39%
Fuck bruh
I hate today so much
My friend left me
Today was rainy asf
My counselor doesn’t give a fuck about me
I don’t deserve shit in life
That’s not true.
Clearly I don’t if I have to wake up to go to a place I hate
I barley have any classes with my friends
That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve anything in life.
Nuh uh
There’s more
I don’t have loving parents together anymore
I don’t have a loving family probably cause my dad divorced my mom and ruined their marriage
Nothing in life ever means you’re not worth it. It might feel like it. However, everyone is worth something. You are no exception.
I ain’t worth shit
This is my life in a nutshell
You might feel this way and that is valid, but God has never made a mistake. You just might have not have found your purpose yet. Relax it will come.
Yes he has
He put me into this world
And gave me all these door Disorders
He has done the same to me and many other people. Yet, he has a reason why he lets us face struggle. Trust me you’ll find out one day and might just use these struggles to better a portion of this world. That is if you just hold on.
If I didn’t have non learning verbal disorder I would be the best version of myself right now
But no
This shit will affect me for the rest of my life
That is a struggle, but there are many people who even with disorders don’t let it stop them and many who do. It’s up to you which of these people you’ll be.
It affects me
People make fun of me for being sped
They use sped is a fucking insult
And then when I tell them I’m special ed? They look at me like I’m some sorta freak
Who other kids?
My counselor did not do shit to help me with that kid in her office
Freshman of course
Fuckin hate the younger generations honestly they barley have any respect for anybody
Duh, until your grown up people don’t get it. Then only 25% get that nothing should hold you back. I have gone through a lot of struggles too. Thought I was nothing. Finally, grew up met a lot of good people and now I’m one of the best around. However, I had a lot of the same problems as you too.
What grade level are you?
11th
I’m out of High School completely.
Well that’s nice
Yeah, but college sucks. I don’t know anymore if this is what I want to do with my life. I don’t even know what I would rather do.
Hey Matt, having a disorder doesn't make you any less than if you didn't have it, and you can still become the best version of yourself. I'm a fucking schizo, I see people who don't exist, I hear people who don't exist all day long, and as much of a struggle it is, I've managed to put it aside. Yes, it still affects me like crazy, but ive managed to become a better version of myself, by no means am I perfect though. You can always better yourself, even if just by a tiny bit.
Thank you citrine I just wish it was better
And thank you J I appreciate your feedback of today
How could I be such a fuck up?
I need to stop thinking I’m a hero and that I can help people
I wish god can just take my life away and just strike me down
How could I be so dumb? And how could I not be there for her?
We made a promise
Yes she broke it and violated our terms
I can’t save anybody
And when I used to save people they would always be like: "oh my gosh you saved my life and were there for me I love you"
And then their bitch ass just leaves me after all the shit I’ve done
Like my bitch ass ex loser lover
She might see this but who gives a fuck?
I wish god didn’t put me in this world
I’ve had a pretty crazy and shitty week
On Monday my best friend left
She had to because she wasn’t allowed to have this app at all and then she had to delete it because her mom knew she was hiding something
Honestly I hate when I meet people who aren’t allowed on this app
Me and them have a connection and we be fr vibing and our friendship is like flowers💐
And then when they get caught or have to leave those flowers get yanked out of the ground and they’re all ruined
I’m such a fuck up at life and a fuck up at everything
The kids in my English look at me weird
Some kids in my plant bio look at me weird
When I’m joking with friends they look at me weird
Like I’m some sort of fuckin maniac who’s gonna hurt everybody
So fuck the dean of students
Fuck my school counselor
And fuck this week
And fuck me for letting my guard down and letting this happen
When I say: "I’ll never let this happen again" it always happens again
It fucking sucks!
I don't wanna do 9 more weeks of this shit
Why does my life have to be so hard?
I no longer have parents who love each other
My dad gets all emotional and is like I'm trying to be the best dad I can be or he still asks how our mom is doing
What do you fucking care to be honest? You're the one who divorced her
Last year he also said he regretted what he had done but the hole has been dug too deep
And then there's school
School more like shitcool
Hate that place
Thank God tomorrow is Friday so after I finish I can go home and play some rdr2
Because holy fuck that place pisses me off so much
But fuck it
Tomorrow I have to go to school and I'm just gonna try and March forward
Seriously hate how school treats teenagers nowadays
There's always somebody fighting over stupid shit
And then somebody gets hurt
Thank God I don't like anywhere near those idiots
But goodnight journal
I’ll try
My friend has a crush on this boy and they want me to help them
Honestly the dude isn’t a good person imo I mean the dude like just skips class and vapes and just does other drugs
I already agreed to helping my friend but I don’t wanna tbh
I just don’t really fw with Crushes
Like how can I help somebody with their crush when I can never win?
Okay so I caught up with an old friend
I told the boy what my friend wanted to tell them
And I think it went well the guy laughed and said he’ll need to see
I did something fucked up as well
Why are the freshman at my school so annoying?
I swear they have no respect
They’re so loud
What do I even say?
This Biscuit person is weird.
They’re honestly just so annoying
They always blow my shit up
I hate how my dad calls me a bunch
He’s calling me a bunch asking how I’m doing
When I wish he was here just to actually talk to me in person
I started to play rdr2 again to make me more calmer and great game
Why do I stay up at night?
Like everytime I stay up it’s always me just me thinking what wrong with me
Why can’t I find somewhere where I can get a fuckin job?
I need a job and I need money
I only have $100 left
I don’t even think I can work at a restaurant
Since my stupid disorder and adhd causes me not to remember shit I can’t remember the whole menu
I thought about going into retail and working at Walmart but that place is pretty shady
I thought about working at a grocery store. I know a guy who does the carts there and when nighttime hits it’s a bunch of shady people
And honestly I’m not trying to leave the store when it’s time to go home at night with a bunch of shady people outside
I swear to god can my mom just leave me alone for Christ’s sake
She asked me if I wanted to try the cheese and when I said I no thanks she kept asking like why
Like godamn people can’t take no for a answer anymore holy hell
They probably wont hire my stupid non verbal learning ass
Fuckin disorders
I hate being born with this shit
People think I’m a
Well how do I say this?
An R with tard
Yk that offensive word?
And no I’m not exaggerating
People have called me this
They’ve said oh so your a bleep
And so you’re bleep at math and science and everything else but you’re good at history and geography?
I hate health class
I’m like 12 chapters behind on the book work
On Monday I can go to the career center and try and talk with the people there
To see what job opportunities they have
I’ve wanted to work at target but I don’t think that will go well either
I once again hear pay is not well
I have a friend who his girlfriend has a cousin and her cousin works at target
And she says it doesn’t pay well
And she says some of the costumers are rude
I don’t fucking know
All I know is
I need a job
And I need money
Eh it’ll be fine we’ll get through it
Eric Draven is life ❤️
Yes yes
Is is just me or do I get mad over so much of the littlest shit?
People walking slow in the halls when I’m tryna get to class? Mad
Slow walkers do suck
I get honestly get the fuck annoyed our of me when people say skibbdi
Or honestly I hate the term rizz
real
Good lord I do not want to return to school tomorrow
This room is so cold
Good lord
I already wanna go home
Why does my teacher always want us to send the task planner?
We have this task planner that we have to do every morning and send to our teacher and honestly I hate it tbh
I don’t have time to do it
I always have to do work and she’s always like: "send your task planner"
Fuck all that I got my shit to deal with
Samee
We were walking to the gym and the person with pizza is at the door so i let them in and they sent me to the office for that shit
I dont get it
Its a pizza person like goddamn
I pizza delivery person?
Ohhh
Cuz theres 2 offices
And i let her in
Because she has all thosw bags to carry
So i let her in
Bullshit.
I went to go use the bathroom
And I was using the gender neutral bathrooms
And I saw somebody’s blood on the floor
I think it might be period blood idk
Maybe I’m not sure
I hate school bathrooms so much
Honestly they’re so bad
It’s a cesspool
Lack of privacy, vandalism, having to shut it down due to vandalism, the large smoking problem that by school complains about but doesn’t do shit about
They always complain that people are smoking and bringing vapes and weed pens and elf bars to school
They complain but don’t do shit about it
Schools be like:
"Why didn’t you use the bathroom during passing period?"
The bathroom:
Honestly
I can’t even use the urinal like
I’m too busy watching my front instead of my back
This is more real then anything in the world
I don’t trust the people smoking behind me
Fuck that
They could be high
Who knows what they could do next?
So fuck the bathrooms
Fuck the school for not doing shit about it
I was walking last week and I saw these girls making a TikTok and one of them was twerking
Good lord
Thank god that shitty company has 9 months to sell it or it gets banned
Finally a Biden W even tho he doesn’t give a shit about America
But night about my political opinions
And then there’s my counselor and the dean of students
They don’t believe me that random freshman mess with me
I told the dean of students about how this freshman ran his hand down my shoulder. (I don’t know who the fuck this guy is) and her response was: "mmm there’s no reason that you should be talking to the freshman"
This dean of students is such a dumbass
She doesn’t understand shit
"Why don’t you stick with your friends?" Oh probably because I don’t have any classes with them this year
So then the guy who ran his hand down my shoulder told his friends
His friends started bothering me kept waving at me and kept doing stupid shit
Me to the dean of students:
And then my counselor
She doesn’t care
Sorry I’m just going on a whole rant
It’s Monday which I’m just recalling the whole events
Jeez
My life has sorta fallen apart
Like I used to be so happy in 2019 and then it fell down when Covid came
And then
In 2022
I was happy because I made new friends
And it was my 2nd year of high school
Dont be sorry
Then the whole divorce war began
Which they will be getting divorced later this year
Idfk when
And then!
They wont
Everytime shit gets better
It gets turned around
I just wanna be happy
Like
And then I thought I’d be happy cause I fell in love but then she fuckin left!
Swear to god people do not take accountability for the shit they do anymore
My friends who betrayed me they told my shit to other people and now deny it
I swear to god I don’t deserve friends
It always goes bad
Rant number idek so since I barley have any service and my vpn wants to shut down on me. People no longer take accountability I swear they don’t. So the time is 11:41 rn and this may just be a draft. Okay so fuck this shit bruh it’s so annoying. I hate how people act nowadays. Accountability is just not here anymore I swear it’s just crazy as fuck.
I just wrote that in my notes since I could not post it here yet
Oh okay now it went through
Just holy fuck this generation is cooked
Holy fuck my head hurts as well
I just wanna go home
The dean of students went to my health class today because she was looking for this kid
She said hi to me and I told her "go away"
Good lord I hope both my counselor and dean of students stay away
yoo its anti work day tomorrow
Thank god tomorrow is Wednesday so I get late start
Thank god I’m here for only one more hour
1 hour and 31 minutes
The counselor and the dean of students said hi to me today
I wish they could both just fuck off
My counselor laughed when I was getting into an argument with that ableist/racist kid
And she also laughed when the dude started being rude when I was rude back
So fuck her
The dean of students is also a asshole
- The dean of students when the kid ran his hand down my shoulder it was nearby security cameras and I told her that he touched my shoulder she didn’t believe me when the touch was caught on a blind spot on the camera
- When I told her about the group of kids with shoulder kid she did not believe me about what they said to me
- She did not do anything when they got my number and started texting me dumb shit
- She always tells my mom everything and informs her on everything when I’ve told her that she doesn’t need to know several of times
- When she told my mom. My mom told my dad and both my parent started to blame me
They just both said hi to me and waved to me
Like fuck off both of you
Acting like stuff is all good when it’s not
You didn’t do shit when there was a kid in your office being hostile and being rude
I got 2 math tests done
Fuck she gave me 2 tests today
Well I got that shit don’t rather then the kids who were just bragging about them vaping
Good lord I’m so stressed out
I have such a headache
And I have a few papers due tomorrow
I don’t wanna do this shit from 37 more days
Stuff is so stressful
Oh, I can’t send voice messages here. I was just gonna send a voice message.
I am just so fucking tired of the dean of students in the fucking counselor just acting like they’ve done nothing wrong and honestly, it’s starting to piss me the fuck off
They just wanna blame me for shit that isn’t even my fault and because of the way, my counselor literally smirk when the guy was being rude to me
She’s completely fucking blind! Like the dude was staring at me the way his tone was just talking to me
It’s like don’t fucking do this. This is fucking ridiculous. Either stay on my side or just tell me you don’t wanna listen to me anymore.
My head hurts so bad right now
I’m gonna take some Advil and probably take a hot shower
My mom literally emailed the dean of students and the counselor to apologize for my behavior
Now, what the hell have I done wrong literally it’s just all these people that I barely talk to and that they don’t understand shit
My counselor literally smirked. When I asked, can you make the guy apologize and she just smirked and said: "do you think that will make you feel better?"
so then, of course, when I come back, the dude starts asking me all these questions saying what race am I and starts telling me that he loves me
And my accounts are just smirks and doesn’t say anything about what’s going on
She doesn’t give a flying fuck
Yeah, like hell anybody does
Who the fuck actually gives a fuck about me and my life?
I got left by the girl I loved
My parents are getting divorced soon after two years of them contemplating if they want to get divorced or not
I got betrayed by my friend group of two years
It’s just good fucking grief. I need a break from the stupid life.
I honestly just wish a lot of people would just honestly just fuck off for good and just leave me be in peace
I barely get any sleep at night
Because of my stupid insomnia, I can’t fucking control it, and I don’t know how the fuck to change it
Another thing I can’t fucking stand is that when I enter my old teachers classroom there’s this one girl that is just completely rude and out of control
She’s this girl who used to be in my old special ed math class and honestly, she’s one of the reasons why I moved to a new one
She was disrespectful. She was always disruptive and every time she always get in trouble she always try to claim that it was because she was black.
This shit has nothing to do with the race it’s called. You’re just a fucking idiot.
I don’t wanna go to school tomorrow
I swear to fucking god I hate school!
Fuckin this bullshit fuckin that bullshit
Lemme find that one limp bizkit song
I hate how my cat acts like a child
My cat acts like a literal toddler
He cries when he doesn’t get what he wants
He scratches on the furniture that explains why the back is all fucked
Thank god today is late start and classes are shorter
Gotta love how my dad gets stern when he tells us that he needs to be at school by 8:15 but never said anything about it in the group chat
I swear I hate when he drives us to school sometimes
Your cat is a child 🐈
So is mine
They're just like children (obviously way less work but still)
And yeah, they do wine
And cry
But they're so sweet as well
Maybe you're not a cat person, which does pain me but that's alright
I myself absolutely adore my cats. Even when she's so old I have to force her to take eyedrops and medicine every day, even though her vet bills might send me into debt...
And I love the other one despite her knocking over every glass of water she's ever seen, and when she climbs up my legs with her very sharp class..
Claws*
I hate this class so much
I am a cat person
It’s just I hate how sometimes my cat zooms around the house
hell yeah
Fuckin hell all this teacher does is blast country music on the speaker
they gotta release their energy, as theyre hunters and yknow since they always be sleeping they got hella energy so they gotta use it somehow
hense the zoomies
@old raptor quit yapping
True
I just wanna go home
Like seriously
I am someone who stopped complaining in life and did something
You going through a divorce?
Someone you love left?
You have non verbal disorder?
Okay well you were young
Mine affects the most since I’m actually old enough to realize what the hell is going on
Like she died?
Why?
Oh
Your parents did that
My parents never did any court and custody shit
But they’ve both changed
But I don't care
Lmao
Don't let people cause drama within you @old raptor that is the best advice I have ever received
Example
@old raptor today it has, but what about tomorrow?
Bro leave
I don’t know who you are
Leave
No leave
Why
You don't know most people on this server... But ok ig
Okay and?
This is my journal.
my journal.
Where I can tell my thoughts and feelings and the stuff I can let out without having to do it irl
I’m not being hostile
I’m asking you to leave
So please leave
Bro i get u but u shouldnt put out ur probs in someone elses personal journal if he wanna rant let him its rly none of ur business
Ok well stop messaging me
Alright
So then there’s today
Besides the interruption
Stuff is going okay
Aye @finite merlin
Why you add a taco?
It’s all good
😐
Huh
I just wanted to say sorry (I know I said I wasn't going to respond but just one last time) I feel bad now
Dude it’s okay
Everything is alright
You should try having a little self care evening
Take a long bath or shower
Eat something scrummy
But also something nutritious so it doesn't make you feel crappy
Like make a really good Smoothie or smth
Maybe go outside for a bit
Just to get some fresh air
And I'd recommend a face mask or something like that but idk if you'd like that
Whenever I want to feel rejuvenated I do a hot bath with a bath bomb and/or bubble bath if I have it, lemon and/or Cucumber water, some sort of yummy snack and drink. My favorite is chocolate coveted strawberries because they taste good and I like making them, but they're also a bit healthy so they're filling and stuff. Put a nice candle (my vanilla and coconut one from indigo is legit heaven) and like a face mask, some music
My favourite
And it's fairly easy to, so even if you're tired ypj can do it
^
I swear I am failing as a human being.
I lash out at people
Everyday when I wake up I hate going to school
Because good fuckin lord that place treats me horribly
I swear I always attract the most stupidest people and fake friends
Like why?
I barley have met any real friends
I almost have a headache everyday
I hate using anticipation medicine
I take Advil and I hate taking pills
Now we’ve reached the 1980s of messages
I fucking hate my mom. I fucking swear.
She still wants me to talk to the dean of students and the counselor even after they blamed me and did not defend me when they were somebody being racist and ablest towards me
Truly, they just don’t give a fuck
It’s pretty obvious
I swear to God, my mom is gonna be one of the most worst people in my life
All she does is just blame me and never help me
And then when i ask for help, guess what? I get blamed
I hate it so much
She just wants to defend people who literally did not help me
Thank God, there’s 34 more days left of the school year
Because right now I need my goddamn summer break
Good god she just wants me to do this and do that
Then I have to fuckin help clean later which I don’t wanna have to do
Seriously fuck this shit
Fuck school, fuck my mom, fuck the dean of students, fuck my counselor, and fuck ableism and fuck racism
I’m glad she’s getting divorced
She deserves it. Even tho she’s been sad and emotional about it
I hope it comes soon
And then I fuckin hate being special ed
Why me god? Why me?
Why does it always have to be with health conditions
ADHD, anxiety, non verbal learning disorder
Celiac disease as well
I just hate dealing with all of it at once
My mom told me to say hi to the dean of students or my counselor if they say hi to me
Yeah fuck no. Absolutely not
What really also pisses me off is that nobody understands what I talk about
I’ve explained to my parents that there are people that mess with me yes. What is their response? They say: "stick with your good friends" I DONT HAVE ANY OF MY GOOD FRIENDS IN ANY OF MY CLASSES
THE GIRL WHO SAVED MY LIFE I DONT HAVE A CLASS WITH HER, I DONT HAVE A CLASS WITH THE DUDE I ALWAYS TALK WITH.
Good fucking Grief it’s annoying as fuck
I knew this year was gonna be shit. And guess what? I was completely fucking right
This is why I’ve thought about moving away for collgee
Gotta love it when you have a crush on a girl and she has a boyfriend and she’s not a virgin
The boyfriend thing is understandable, but someone not being a virgin doesn't take away from their worth.
Holy fuck I can’t get anybody
I swear I’m so ugly and I’ll never find anybody
And then when I tell everybody that im ugly
They always reassure me that I’m not
Thas cz u mainly focus on ur flaws meanwhile others notice ur flaws n beauty at the same time
No cause I’m a ugly bitch who can’t get shit
No matt is i promise ur not ugly at all its js that everything takes time u still got a long life ahead u js gotta wait for the right person n time
Everybody else isn’t a virgin! And everybody else has somebody!
People are ungrateful and judgemental nowadays
Everyone also goes thru breakups n shi but that doesnt mean they loose hope its js u hv to wait for the right time and eventually you’ll find someone ur still young rn everything takes time