#Matt’s journal about life

1 messages · Page 2 of 1

old raptor
#

Also am I the asshole In this situation? There's a kid at my school who has autism and he's tried to grab girls and has tried to kiss them without consent. He always repeats: "I hate seeing my ex girlfriend Sophia. I wish I chose somebody better"

#

Which btw he kissed this girl without consent

#

And honestly it's like dude shut the fuck up

#

She was never your girlfriend

#

You basically committed ||sexual assault||

#

I don't mean to be an opinionated asshole or anything I'm just saying bro needs to stop

#

When me and my friend talk outside the hall during breakfast break in the morning it's always people we know saying hi they come by and say hi and their friends come over and make me and my friend feel weirded out asf

old raptor
#

Don’t you love it when you have to wake up at 7:35 in the morning and go to a place for 7 hours and deal with the most stupidest people you’ve ever met for that long and get out at 2:05😀

#

Love school!!😀

#

Seriously hate this fucking shit

#

It’s so bad

#

Seriously

#

Lately I have not been in the mood

#

I just am not the one sometimes

#

Next class I have to go to math class

#

I just hope everybody will just be chill and calm

#

Why did I have to get put into health?

#

Everybody in there is younger then me except 3 kids

#

2 kids are older

#

But everybody else is a freshman

#

Honestly either I’m just an asshole or I don’t like working with the freshman

#

This one girl got mad at me for doing a joke as well cause I went behind my friend and scared him yesterday

#

And I said as a joke I Batman scare my friends and she got all upset

#

Honestly hate all these people

#

We have this politics kid that watches Donald trump talk and honestly fuck politics

#

Take it to debate club

#

I just hate that math class bitch

#

Her and her friends are just immature and loud asf

#

Honestly

#

So I fucked up

#

I only moved to this math class because my last math class was filled with annoying people and disrespectful people

#

Honestly it’s like

#

Yeah I got what I wanted cause I got moved

#

But I didn’t know I would end up with the same situation

#

So now I’m all alone

#

And then when I say I’m alone my teacher and mom say I need to make new friends

#

Sorry but my anti social and trust issues cannot

#

BRUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#

THIS FUCKING BITCH TOOK TO LONG WITH THE HALL PASS AND NOW CLASS IS ABOUT TO END

#

Good fucking lord I hate bitches like that

#

Taking the pass and then walking off with it and skipping class

old raptor
#

Thank got only 30 more minutes till I get to go home

#

Hate this shithole they call a school

old raptor
#

Only good news is I got an A on my math sheet

#

The girl who sprained my thumb wasn’t here in class today because I overheard she didn’t feel well

#

Can I stop encountering weird people? I swear to how

old raptor
#

How do I deal with a clingy friend?

#

I have this friend that they text me like every 30 minutes

#

Like no offense but give me a break

old raptor
#

All day with this girl

#

She keeps texting me asking a bunch of questions

#

Well great. She texted me: "I love you" oh fuck bruh

#

Now either I'm just a grumpy rude asshole

#

Or I don't like being hit up a lot

old raptor
#

Okay day 3 in hell from coming back

#

I wish I could’ve stayed the fuck home

#

I was walking to class and this random guy ran his hand down my shoulder

#

I swear to god this is why I like to stay inside

#

Staying inside is the most healthy thing for me

#

What happened was

#

I was waking to class

#

I was walking to my class and this guy ran his hand down my shoulder and said hey big boy come here

#

So I went back to my counselors office to talk with her

#

I should’ve punched that fucker in the face

#

I’m sick and tired of these pervs just running around

#

Well my heart rate is going up now

#

I’m honestly scared

#

I have a friend who she has this cousin that needs to die

#

This cousin of hers needs to be put down

#

I’m not even joking. There is no other way

#

He’s done horrible stuff to her

#

And he will continue to

#

If he is not stopped

#

Honestly I don’t know what to say or do

hollow raptor
old raptor
#

So

#

I fucked up

#

Just everything yesterday

old raptor
#

Am I a horrible person or what?

#

But before we get into that

#

We almost got fuckin swatted today

#

Some idiot was caught trying to call 911 telling them that our school was getting ||shot|| up

#

What a bitch

#

Thank god his scum bag bitch ass got caught before he could make the call

old raptor
#

I feel so ugly idk why

#

Everytime I feel ugly I feel like

#

Everybody just tells me that I’m not

old raptor
#

Why do I have to be so insecure

#

Why can’t I look like other guys

old raptor
#

I hate having severe anger issues

#

I have a short fuse and everytime I fail a video game I punch myself in the face or I slap myself in the face

#

I hate doing it and I don’t know why

#

I tried to defeat this boss and I died like 6 times on this video game I was playing

#

And my idiot ass started hitting my face and I hit my head with my conteoller

#

I’m glad this week is over honestly

#

Cause I needed a fuckin break for sure

old raptor
#

You know…

#

I need a break

#

Just a break from life

#

Just a vacation some place far away

#

Someplace sunny

#

Where the waves collide

#

I just feel like

#

There’s too much going on in my life

noble ledge
#

that would be so nice

#

i want that too

old raptor
old raptor
#

There’s a lot I gotta talk about

#

So for one

#

I fucked up

#

I saw my friend write in her journal she might do ||sh|| and she mentioned in it she needs some distractions

#

So I read it and didn’t say anything to her and tried to distract her in my own

#

And she ended uo doing it

old raptor
#

Well I was right I guess I am ugly

#

Jesus Christ I’m so ugly

#

Honestly I swear

#

God hates me

#

He most definitely damn well does

#

Giving me adhd, giving me anxiety, giving me celiac disease

#

Can’t stand all of it

#

I also have non verbal learning disorder

#

And I’m social emotional

#

I swear I’m about to ram my head into a wall because I’m so annoyed

#

Everytime I tell somebody im ugly they always try and reassure me

#

And say I’m not

noble ledge
#

@old raptor

#

i understand you

#

but remember

old raptor
#

Hmph

#

Oh

#

Hello

noble ledge
#

theres always someone who has it worse

#

but always someone who has it better

#

everyone is in different stages

#

think about the bigger picture

#

comparison is the thief of joy

#

might sound corny but its true

#

i feel ugly too man : ) me too.

old raptor
noble ledge
#

Good question

#

i guess probably because i dont get as much attention from girls as other guys i see do

#

i mean im 15 and have never had a girlfriend

#

never held hands with a girl before

old raptor
old raptor
#

I’ve gotten a kiss on the cheek before

noble ledge
#

exactly man you got it better than me : )

old raptor
#

I mean I’m still well

#

Obviously a virgin

#

And never had my first kiss either

noble ledge
#

how old are you

#

if you dont mind me asking

#

its okay if you dont wanna share

old raptor
noble ledge
#

oh okay

#

thats nice

#

no duh we’re both virgins

#

i just want a gf

old raptor
#

And too be happy because

noble ledge
#

facts.

old raptor
#

Ah fuck

#

Today is Sunday

#

Great

#

Only 24 hours until I have to return to the place I hate

viral quarry
#

This might sound stupid, but try to appreciate school a bit more. Like I understand a lot of people don't enjoy ir, or get annoyed by stuff going on, but try enjoy it. Take classes you're actually interested in, as well as try be interested in what you're being taught. Don't go to school dreading the day, thinking it'll suckz because it might be a better day than you think. Just ignore upsetting people, and don't bother talking to them

old raptor
#

Welcome back to the Matt morning news!

#

On todays episode

#

I woke up and I wanna go back to bed

jaunty junco
old raptor
#

Good lord I wanna go home already seriously

old raptor
#

Don’t you love it when you’re tryna head to class and degenerates bother you

#

I swear I was walking to class and this group of idiots bother me

#

About last week I was in a conflict with this kid after he ran his hand down my shoulder and my mom blamed me for it

#

The kid who ran his hand down my shoulder I don’t know who the fuck this degenerate is

#

He got talked to by administration and this son of a bitch was like hey I’m sorry on Friday like dude shut the fuck up and do everybody a favor and fuck the hell off

#

I honestly no longer believe in 2nd chances

#

Can’t trust em for shit after they fuck up oncw

#

Today I was heading to talk to my counselor and about last week this kid offered me weed as well

old raptor
#

Good lord can I just mind my business?

#

Like I swear to god it’s always the most annoying people

old raptor
#

So I was walking to my counselors office and this weed dealer idiot starts waving me through the window and in my mind this is what I’m thinking:

#

And to they start jeering and say hey "n word"

#

Now I can’t say that word but they can

abstract bison
#

i think bro yaps a little too much

dull galleon
old raptor
abstract bison
#

totally not sir

old raptor
#

Anyways

#

I don’t trust almost anybody at school they’re just the most horrible people

old raptor
#

Joke around about horrible things

dull galleon
abstract bison
#

thats nothing to what people do to me

old raptor
abstract bison
old raptor
#

Wdym throw you around?

#

Like they physically hurt you?

old raptor
abstract bison
#

yeah one time a guy threw me around like tornado then dropped me and i got a nose bleed

#

i walked it off thoug

old raptor
#

So you must be in college since you’re a bit older then me

abstract bison
#

nuh uh

#

im like 12

#

13

dull galleon
old raptor
abstract bison
#

no idea💀

#

probably cause i made my discord account when i wasnt 13

old raptor
#

Ohh

old raptor
#

Either I’ve turned into a grumpy old man and I’m 90 years too early but good fuckin lord I hate people

old raptor
#

And so turns out

#

They ended up finding my number

#

The weed guy who offered me weed

#

Texted my number

#

Now I don’t know who the hell this dude is

old raptor
#

Okay so today i went home and played some rdr1

old raptor
#

What is with my dad?

#

Like

#

Yesterday he was acting weird

#

He found out about me being Insecure about my looks and he started saying stuff like: "who said that!?"

#

I just feel insecure about myself

old raptor
#

Just finished a math sheet let’s goooooo

old raptor
#

Okay today has been sorta going smooth

old raptor
#

I swear why do I even use twitter tbh at this point

#

All I see is

#

Someone tweeting horny stuff or some disturbing video of somebody dying

old raptor
#

I don’t know why I made a big deal about this

old raptor
#

Okay so enough with my Twitter rant

#

Today I went to school and today was ass honestly

#

I was late to class because my dad always shows up late because he drives from his apartment to come pick us up

#

I finished a math sheet tho so rhat was good

limber hornet
old raptor
#

I got into Trouble

#

I fucked up

#

I lost it today, I completely lost it. I went to my counselors office to talk to her and so she was in another office and she told me to wait for her to show up. So I went to sit in her office and there was this kid that I do not like and he is a negative person too me in every way possible. I told him: "quit your bitching" he then started saying I called him a "bitch" and then he said he wants to fight me so then this dude was being ableist piece of shit and start insulting me on being special and being a race baiting piece of shit by saying I called him the n word. After that I got upset and I told my counselor "fuck this shit" and told the kid "you are a negative asshole fuck you" and I stormed outta there

#

I hate being special ed. I just hate it

#

I get so much negative feedback for it and honestly I hate what it does to me

#

Just hating on me for shit that’s not my fault

#

Stuff that I was born with

old raptor
#

I can’t believe I’m saying this but. I got betrayed by my friends

#

They’re not loyal, they’re racist, they’re rude, they never care

#

I never opened up about this but

#

We all used to be a friend group

#

And they all just turned bad

old raptor
#

I have done so bad at life lately

#

I mean look at me

#

I’ve barley been eating lately

#

Only things I’ve eaten today was 2 slices of pizza and a sandwich and a chocolate bar

#

And I’m about to eat tacos

#

I flipped the hell out today

#

Why did I even wake the hell up today

#

I wish I was able to stay home

#

Mental health days should be mandatory if people are struggling

old raptor
#

You gotta love life😀

#

Just dealing with shitty people

old raptor
#

I don’t know where to begin

#

I got betrayed

old raptor
#

Today was a shit day today. It was completely draining and I did not like it whatsoever

old raptor
#

I no longer trust my friends

#

They turned on me and have turned into horrible people

#

I can't believe I got used for 2 years by that kin fucking bastard

#

He never cared about me

#

He just used me for entertainment

#

A few weeks ago I went mini golfing with then and the one friend I trusted has become a racist

#

During the mini golfing hangout the dude started dropping the n word

#

Said it in our groupchat as well

#

I felt honestly uncomfortable after he said all that

#

I hate this shit so much

#

I hate being Betrayed

#

And of course when I have a negative opinion about someone they're always like: "well that's your problem"

#

Nobody ever takes my side

#

I hate when people step into the class to say hi too me

#

I'm fucking working in health class and since the door is open this one kid I don't like at all comes in too says hi

#

I hate school so much

#

I can't stand how much shit I have to put up with

#

Nobody ever takes my side

#

Thank God there's only like 11 weeks left of school for me

#

Yeah 11 more weeks of this shithole and then I'll be free for 3 months

#

I don't trust 80% of my school

#

I've had my number leaked and given to others

#

I've had my text messages about the stuff I struggle witg leaked

#

And stuff about my parents divorce leaked

#

Maybe I just don't deserve friends

#

They either are rude, betray me, or leave

old raptor
#

I woke up today and I just checked last night that

#

I have 50 tardies

old raptor
#

Thank god this day is almost over and thank god it’s most Friday

humble zinc
#

Agreed, my friend. Agreed.

old raptor
#

Well

#

Good update

#

Today I went on a roll on math

#

I finished 2 assignments and got 100% on this online work

humble zinc
#

Noice

old raptor
#

Thank god tomorrow is Friday

old raptor
#

Thank god today is Friday

#

Only 4 more classes then I’m home

dull galleon
#

friday is the best 🥳

old raptor
#

I swear

#

I just wanna go home

#

My clingy friend is annoying asf

#

She keeps blowing up my phone everyday

#

Just telling me random shit

#

And acts ||horny|| around me and honestly it makes me uncomfortable asf

#

This is why I’m an introvert

#

And I keep to myself

#

It’s just like why

old raptor
#

So now I’m in trouble

old raptor
#

And said so I sent some stuff to your mom

#

Man can she stop doing dumbass shit bruh

#

She tells my mom everything

#

About this about that

#

About all my problems with people

#

What’s fuckin worst out of all of it

old raptor
#

Good fucking god I need a break from life

old raptor
#

My dean of students has nothing but blaming me for people bothering me

old raptor
old raptor
old raptor
#

I swear to god people come after me for the most stupidest shit

frail wind
#

Parents can suck sometimes.

old raptor
#

Honestly I’m done working with the dean of students

#

She doesn’t do shit

#

All she does is blame me for this and blame me for that

#

So fuck her

old raptor
#

I woke up today this morning

#

About to go pet bunnies

old raptor
#

I feel like a horrible person

#

I fucked up today

#

I said something pretty horrible to a friend of mine

#

We were messing around and I said something about his haircut

#

Then mentioned the personal thing he told me in our group chat

#

He acted so calm about this personal thing of his which I kinda find sorta disturbing

limber cloud
#

Bro dont feel bad

#

Its fine

#

Dw :D

old raptor
#

I don’t think you realize how serious that is

#

What happened

limber cloud
#

I do

#

But

#

Itll be fine

old raptor
#

I don’t wanna go back to school tomorrow

#

That place gives me a headache honestly

frail wind
#

I don’t want to have another day off tomorrow.

old raptor
#

Tomorrow is Monday

old raptor
#

If the dean of students says hi to me tomorrow

#

I’m ignoring her

#

She always tells my mom everything then my mom blames me for PEOPLE BOTHERING ME

old raptor
#

Good morning journal

limber cloud
old raptor
#

I swear I’m so tired of people leaving me

#

2 people have left me in the past 2 months

#

First my friend who disappeared

#

Now my friend who’s leaving because she was never allowed this fucking app in the first place and disobeyed her mother and was secretly using and now she’s leaving when I loved her!

#

I swear this shit is pissing me off

#

Maybe I don’t deserve friends

#

I’m gonna end up an old fuck and end up a 80 year old virgin with no wife no kids and no family members living alive or no friends

#

If I do have friends

#

They’ll probably move away

#

Or they’ll end up dead

#

Because sometimes when you’re old everybody dies!

#

Just it’s so bad

#

Well I’ve arrived in math

#

Fuck

#

Now I gotta deal with stupid ass shit

#

Only an hour left then I can go home

old raptor
#

I can’t

#

Her mom checks all her shit

old raptor
#

I need a break from life I swear

#

School has been mentally draining me I swear

#

I hate having to go to school for 7 hours dealing with people I don’t like

old raptor
#

Today I woke up and was a bit late to school

old raptor
#

After I eat my sandwich ima take a shower then ima work

old raptor
#

I can’t stand my math class

#

The people in there are the most annoying and obnoxious people I have ever met

old raptor
#

Good morning journal

#

Okay so I had a waffle this morning

#

I got to school on time so great morning

old raptor
#

I swear I can’t listen too some songs anymore

#

There’s so much songs that make me sad when I listen to them I think about her and it makes me sad

#

Like the lyrics I hear remind me of her

#

This as well

#

Change the he’d with she’d

old raptor
#

I’m not obsessed I used to be in love

#

And it failed because she broke my heart and shit

#

And when I listen to some music there’s some lyrics that remind me of her

#

Yes

#

And so when I listen to music there’s some lyrics in the songs that remind me of what happened with her

#

Or it’s like close to what happened

old raptor
old raptor
#

I swear to god can people walk faster in the halls

#

Godamn freshman

#

They just stand there walking slower then a ps4 game downloading

#

Slower then a godamn turtle

#

I just wanna go home

#

Thank god I’m here for 2 more hours then I’m home

old raptor
#

This schools service is so ass literally the bathroom has better service💀💀

old raptor
#

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

#

I swear to god I hate having nlvd (non learning verbal disorder)

old raptor
#

She then said she wants that to happen to her

#

Good lord porn was a horrible invention

#

It’s fried these people’s brains

#

I can’t with these kids🤦‍♂️

#

She’s 14 btw

#

I swear sex is just so normalized nowadays

#

I have a friend who knows somebody who was 12 and gave a ||blowjob|| to her boyfriend

#

12 is insanity

#

How the hell can somebody do this at 12

#

It’s fucking degeneracy

#

As someone who was Cheated on by a former ex gf who did a ||gang bang|| this shit makes me upset

old raptor
#

This weekly rant of whatever the hell matt has to rant about!

#

Let’s get into it

#

I’ve been pissed the off the fucking edge lately

#

I feel like I’m truly not doing well at all

#

I hate waking up

#

I hate having to go to school

#

I hate having to deal with the people

#

Good lord it’s all tiresome

#

People get upset at me for asking questions

#

I truly hate how the hell I function

#

These are the things I have: I have:
ADHD
Celiac disease
Non learning verbal disorder
I can’t read body language

#

Good lord

#

Now I’m just realizing

#

My journal is filled with horrible shit

old raptor
#

I hate how life is been treating me

#

I hate the way I walk

#

I have to check my feet once in a while to make sure I’m walking straight

#

I hate the way I look

#

I wish I was as smart as all the other kids

#

People get so pressed at me for being polite and when I say maam or sir

#

Like I’m being nice calm the fuck down you idiot

#

I’m honestly this close to running my head into a wall I swear

#

I just

#

Hate the dean of students now

#

She’s nothing but a spy

#

She informs my mom everything I do and doesn’t believe me about shit and blames me for shit

old raptor
#

She sucks honestly

#

My friend has been scaring the shit out of me lately as well

#

They come in from behind when the door is open in health class and they scream from behind

#

They do it to me in the halls as well

#

They do it so much I have to avoid them everytime

old raptor
#

Me after I feel dead inside today

rustic silo
old raptor
old raptor
#

I hate school so much

#

I have 2 presentations

#

I had to work on this presentation about alchohol

#

And now I have to do a presentation on the whole involvement with the US and the Middle East from 1941-2001

old raptor
#

Alright today was honestly sort of a shit show

old raptor
#

About to go into therapy

old raptor
#

Good morning today is Thursday

#

By 2 dear friends who I love and care about have left me

old raptor
#

I need to get some shit off my chest

#

I know I’m in class but she won’t see shit

#

This week has gone so shitty

old raptor
#

Godamn I didn’t wanna wake up today ong

old raptor
#

Today has already gone to shit tbh

#

My group members in English probably hate me

old raptor
#

I need to go off on a rant

#

What a shitty day today

old raptor
#

I cut off ties with my school counselor and the dean of students

#

I no longer feel safe around them

old raptor
#

I think I’m going insane

#

You know

#

I’m gonna die alone

#

Because of me I guess

#

I lose everybody

#

I lost my friend in 2022 after she left when she was the most coolest person I ever met

#

I lost my friend when she betrayed me and sided with my cousin and his shitty friends

#

And then there’s those people who promise me saying: "I won’t leave you" those people are the most biggest cocksuckers on the planet I swear to god

#

I hate this shit

#

I hate it so much

#

I swear everytime I think I’m doing better some son of a bitch or scumbag has to try and ruin my day

#

Good god it’s everybody against the world almost everyday

#

Ofc my phone is at 39%

#

Fuck bruh

#

I hate today so much

#

My friend left me

#

Today was rainy asf

#

My counselor doesn’t give a fuck about me

#

I don’t deserve shit in life

frail wind
old raptor
#

I barley have any classes with my friends

frail wind
#

That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve anything in life.

old raptor
#

There’s more

#

I don’t have loving parents together anymore

#

I don’t have a loving family probably cause my dad divorced my mom and ruined their marriage

frail wind
#

Nothing in life ever means you’re not worth it. It might feel like it. However, everyone is worth something. You are no exception.

old raptor
#

This is my life in a nutshell

frail wind
#

You might feel this way and that is valid, but God has never made a mistake. You just might have not have found your purpose yet. Relax it will come.

old raptor
#

He put me into this world

#

And gave me all these door Disorders

frail wind
#

He has done the same to me and many other people. Yet, he has a reason why he lets us face struggle. Trust me you’ll find out one day and might just use these struggles to better a portion of this world. That is if you just hold on.

old raptor
#

If I didn’t have non learning verbal disorder I would be the best version of myself right now

#

But no

#

This shit will affect me for the rest of my life

frail wind
#

That is a struggle, but there are many people who even with disorders don’t let it stop them and many who do. It’s up to you which of these people you’ll be.

old raptor
#

People make fun of me for being sped

#

They use sped is a fucking insult

#

And then when I tell them I’m special ed? They look at me like I’m some sorta freak

old raptor
#

My counselor did not do shit to help me with that kid in her office

old raptor
#

Fuckin hate the younger generations honestly they barley have any respect for anybody

frail wind
# old raptor Freshman of course

Duh, until your grown up people don’t get it. Then only 25% get that nothing should hold you back. I have gone through a lot of struggles too. Thought I was nothing. Finally, grew up met a lot of good people and now I’m one of the best around. However, I had a lot of the same problems as you too.

old raptor
#

Because the freshman suck

#

They’re immature

#

They have no respect for anybody

frail wind
#

What grade level are you?

old raptor
frail wind
#

I’m out of High School completely.

old raptor
frail wind
# old raptor Well that’s nice

Yeah, but college sucks. I don’t know anymore if this is what I want to do with my life. I don’t even know what I would rather do.

viral quarry
# old raptor If I didn’t have non learning verbal disorder I would be the best version of mys...

Hey Matt, having a disorder doesn't make you any less than if you didn't have it, and you can still become the best version of yourself. I'm a fucking schizo, I see people who don't exist, I hear people who don't exist all day long, and as much of a struggle it is, I've managed to put it aside. Yes, it still affects me like crazy, but ive managed to become a better version of myself, by no means am I perfect though. You can always better yourself, even if just by a tiny bit.

old raptor
old raptor
old raptor
#

How could I be such a fuck up?

#

I need to stop thinking I’m a hero and that I can help people

#

I wish god can just take my life away and just strike me down

#

How could I be so dumb? And how could I not be there for her?

#

We made a promise

#

Yes she broke it and violated our terms

#

I can’t save anybody

#

And when I used to save people they would always be like: "oh my gosh you saved my life and were there for me I love you"

#

And then their bitch ass just leaves me after all the shit I’ve done

#

Like my bitch ass ex loser lover

#

She might see this but who gives a fuck?

#

I wish god didn’t put me in this world

#

I’ve had a pretty crazy and shitty week

#

On Monday my best friend left

#

She had to because she wasn’t allowed to have this app at all and then she had to delete it because her mom knew she was hiding something

#

Honestly I hate when I meet people who aren’t allowed on this app

#

Me and them have a connection and we be fr vibing and our friendship is like flowers💐

#

And then when they get caught or have to leave those flowers get yanked out of the ground and they’re all ruined

#

I’m such a fuck up at life and a fuck up at everything

#

The kids in my English look at me weird

#

Some kids in my plant bio look at me weird

#

When I’m joking with friends they look at me weird

#

Like I’m some sort of fuckin maniac who’s gonna hurt everybody

#

So fuck the dean of students

#

Fuck my school counselor

#

And fuck this week

#

And fuck me for letting my guard down and letting this happen

#

When I say: "I’ll never let this happen again" it always happens again

#

It fucking sucks!

old raptor
#

I don't wanna do 9 more weeks of this shit

old raptor
#

Why does my life have to be so hard?

#

I no longer have parents who love each other

#

My dad gets all emotional and is like I'm trying to be the best dad I can be or he still asks how our mom is doing

#

What do you fucking care to be honest? You're the one who divorced her

#

Last year he also said he regretted what he had done but the hole has been dug too deep

#

And then there's school

#

School more like shitcool

#

Hate that place

#

Thank God tomorrow is Friday so after I finish I can go home and play some rdr2

#

Because holy fuck that place pisses me off so much

#

But fuck it

#

Tomorrow I have to go to school and I'm just gonna try and March forward

#

Seriously hate how school treats teenagers nowadays

#

There's always somebody fighting over stupid shit

#

And then somebody gets hurt

#

Thank God I don't like anywhere near those idiots

#

But goodnight journal

old raptor
#

I’ll try

#

My friend has a crush on this boy and they want me to help them

#

Honestly the dude isn’t a good person imo I mean the dude like just skips class and vapes and just does other drugs

#

I already agreed to helping my friend but I don’t wanna tbh

#

I just don’t really fw with Crushes

#

Like how can I help somebody with their crush when I can never win?

old raptor
#

Okay so I caught up with an old friend

old raptor
#

And I think it went well the guy laughed and said he’ll need to see

#

I did something fucked up as well

old raptor
#

Why are the freshman at my school so annoying?

#

I swear they have no respect

#

They’re so loud

old raptor
#

Fuck this shit bruh

#

I’m just tryna play my video game and my controller is acting up

old raptor
#

What do I even say?

frail wind
#

This Biscuit person is weird.

old raptor
#

They always blow my shit up

old raptor
#

I’m so tired of life.

#

I hate how I get so mad easily

old raptor
#

I hate how my dad calls me a bunch

#

He’s calling me a bunch asking how I’m doing

#

When I wish he was here just to actually talk to me in person

old raptor
#

I started to play rdr2 again to make me more calmer and great game

old raptor
#

Why do I stay up at night?

#

Like everytime I stay up it’s always me just me thinking what wrong with me

#

Why can’t I find somewhere where I can get a fuckin job?

#

I need a job and I need money

#

I only have $100 left

#

I don’t even think I can work at a restaurant

#

Since my stupid disorder and adhd causes me not to remember shit I can’t remember the whole menu

#

I thought about going into retail and working at Walmart but that place is pretty shady

#

I thought about working at a grocery store. I know a guy who does the carts there and when nighttime hits it’s a bunch of shady people

#

And honestly I’m not trying to leave the store when it’s time to go home at night with a bunch of shady people outside

#

I swear to god can my mom just leave me alone for Christ’s sake

#

She asked me if I wanted to try the cheese and when I said I no thanks she kept asking like why

#

Like godamn people can’t take no for a answer anymore holy hell

#

They probably wont hire my stupid non verbal learning ass

#

Fuckin disorders

#

I hate being born with this shit

#

People think I’m a

#

Well how do I say this?

#

An R with tard

#

Yk that offensive word?

#

And no I’m not exaggerating

#

People have called me this

#

They’ve said oh so your a bleep

#

And so you’re bleep at math and science and everything else but you’re good at history and geography?

#

I hate health class

#

I’m like 12 chapters behind on the book work

#

On Monday I can go to the career center and try and talk with the people there

#

To see what job opportunities they have

#

I’ve wanted to work at target but I don’t think that will go well either

#

I once again hear pay is not well

#

I have a friend who his girlfriend has a cousin and her cousin works at target

#

And she says it doesn’t pay well

#

And she says some of the costumers are rude

#

I don’t fucking know

#

All I know is

#

I need a job

#

And I need money

old raptor
#

Fuck todays Sunday

#

Only 24 more hours till I have to return to hell for a week

old raptor
#

Eh it’ll be fine we’ll get through it

old raptor
#

Fuck it’s Rainy again

#

Why does it have to rain again

#

@viral quarry

viral quarry
#

Eric Draven is life ❤️

old raptor
#

Is is just me or do I get mad over so much of the littlest shit?

#

People walking slow in the halls when I’m tryna get to class? Mad

viral quarry
#

Slow walkers do suck

old raptor
#

I get honestly get the fuck annoyed our of me when people say skibbdi

#

Or honestly I hate the term rizz

viral quarry
#

real

old raptor
#

Good lord I do not want to return to school tomorrow

old raptor
#

This room is so cold

#

Good lord

#

I already wanna go home

#

Why does my teacher always want us to send the task planner?

#

We have this task planner that we have to do every morning and send to our teacher and honestly I hate it tbh

#

I don’t have time to do it

#

I always have to do work and she’s always like: "send your task planner"

#

Fuck all that I got my shit to deal with

limber cloud
#

We were walking to the gym and the person with pizza is at the door so i let them in and they sent me to the office for that shit

#

I dont get it

#

Its a pizza person like goddamn

old raptor
#

I pizza delivery person?

limber cloud
#

Ye

#

Like the school orders pizza every week

old raptor
#

They should just go to the office and drop it off

#

Why give it to a kid

limber cloud
#

No like

#

They go thru the side door

old raptor
#

Ohhh

limber cloud
#

Cuz theres 2 offices

#

And i let her in

#

Because she has all thosw bags to carry

#

So i let her in

#

Bullshit.

old raptor
#

I went to go use the bathroom

#

And I was using the gender neutral bathrooms

#

And I saw somebody’s blood on the floor

#

I think it might be period blood idk

limber cloud
#

Wtf

#

Nose bleed maybe

#

?

old raptor
#

Maybe I’m not sure

#

I hate school bathrooms so much

#

Honestly they’re so bad

#

It’s a cesspool

#

Lack of privacy, vandalism, having to shut it down due to vandalism, the large smoking problem that by school complains about but doesn’t do shit about

#

They always complain that people are smoking and bringing vapes and weed pens and elf bars to school

#

They complain but don’t do shit about it

limber cloud
#

Frr

#

My school bathrooms ceiling is full of wet toilet paper thrown up at it

old raptor
#

Schools be like:
"Why didn’t you use the bathroom during passing period?"

#

The bathroom:

#

Honestly

#

I can’t even use the urinal like

#

I’m too busy watching my front instead of my back

limber cloud
#

This is more real then anything in the world

old raptor
#

I don’t trust the people smoking behind me

#

Fuck that

#

They could be high

#

Who knows what they could do next?

#

So fuck the bathrooms

#

Fuck the school for not doing shit about it

#

I was walking last week and I saw these girls making a TikTok and one of them was twerking

#

Good lord

#

Thank god that shitty company has 9 months to sell it or it gets banned

#

Finally a Biden W even tho he doesn’t give a shit about America

#

But night about my political opinions

#

And then there’s my counselor and the dean of students

#

They don’t believe me that random freshman mess with me

#

I told the dean of students about how this freshman ran his hand down my shoulder. (I don’t know who the fuck this guy is) and her response was: "mmm there’s no reason that you should be talking to the freshman"

#

This dean of students is such a dumbass

#

She doesn’t understand shit

#

"Why don’t you stick with your friends?" Oh probably because I don’t have any classes with them this year

old raptor
#

His friends started bothering me kept waving at me and kept doing stupid shit

#

Me to the dean of students:

#

And then my counselor

#

She doesn’t care

limber cloud
#

Damn im sorry matt

#

That rly sucks

old raptor
#

It’s Monday which I’m just recalling the whole events

#

Jeez

#

My life has sorta fallen apart

#

Like I used to be so happy in 2019 and then it fell down when Covid came

#

And then

#

In 2022

#

I was happy because I made new friends

#

And it was my 2nd year of high school

limber cloud
old raptor
#

Then the whole divorce war began

#

Which they will be getting divorced later this year

#

Idfk when

limber cloud
#

Well im sorry this is happening

#

I hope things turn up

old raptor
#

And then!

old raptor
#

Everytime shit gets better

#

It gets turned around

limber cloud
#

Ohh

#

Im sorry

#

Id say something positive but idk what to say

#

Sorry

old raptor
#

I just wanna be happy

#

Like

#

And then I thought I’d be happy cause I fell in love but then she fuckin left!

old raptor
#

Swear to god people do not take accountability for the shit they do anymore

#

My friends who betrayed me they told my shit to other people and now deny it

#

I swear to god I don’t deserve friends

#

It always goes bad

old raptor
#

Rant number idek so since I barley have any service and my vpn wants to shut down on me. People no longer take accountability I swear they don’t. So the time is 11:41 rn and this may just be a draft. Okay so fuck this shit bruh it’s so annoying. I hate how people act nowadays. Accountability is just not here anymore I swear it’s just crazy as fuck.

#

I just wrote that in my notes since I could not post it here yet

old raptor
#

Oh okay now it went through

#

Just holy fuck this generation is cooked

#

Holy fuck my head hurts as well

#

I just wanna go home

old raptor
#

I hate going to the store with my mom

#

She’s so bossy

old raptor
#

The dean of students went to my health class today because she was looking for this kid

#

She said hi to me and I told her "go away"

#

Good lord I hope both my counselor and dean of students stay away

old raptor
#

Thank god Monday is over

#

I get to chill 2 more hours before bed

old raptor
#

Good morning journal

#

Only 3 days till Friday

abstract bison
#

yoo its anti work day tomorrow

old raptor
#

Thank god tomorrow is Wednesday so I get late start

#

Thank god I’m here for only one more hour

#

1 hour and 31 minutes

#

The counselor and the dean of students said hi to me today

#

I wish they could both just fuck off

#

My counselor laughed when I was getting into an argument with that ableist/racist kid

#

And she also laughed when the dude started being rude when I was rude back

#

So fuck her

#

The dean of students is also a asshole

#
  1. The dean of students when the kid ran his hand down my shoulder it was nearby security cameras and I told her that he touched my shoulder she didn’t believe me when the touch was caught on a blind spot on the camera
  2. When I told her about the group of kids with shoulder kid she did not believe me about what they said to me
  3. She did not do anything when they got my number and started texting me dumb shit
  4. She always tells my mom everything and informs her on everything when I’ve told her that she doesn’t need to know several of times
  5. When she told my mom. My mom told my dad and both my parent started to blame me
#

They just both said hi to me and waved to me

#

Like fuck off both of you

#

Acting like stuff is all good when it’s not

#

You didn’t do shit when there was a kid in your office being hostile and being rude

old raptor
#

I got 2 math tests done

#

Fuck she gave me 2 tests today

#

Well I got that shit don’t rather then the kids who were just bragging about them vaping

old raptor
#

Good lord I’m so stressed out

#

I have such a headache

#

And I have a few papers due tomorrow

#

I don’t wanna do this shit from 37 more days

#

Stuff is so stressful

old raptor
#

Oh, I can’t send voice messages here. I was just gonna send a voice message.

#

I am just so fucking tired of the dean of students in the fucking counselor just acting like they’ve done nothing wrong and honestly, it’s starting to piss me the fuck off

#

They just wanna blame me for shit that isn’t even my fault and because of the way, my counselor literally smirk when the guy was being rude to me

#

She’s completely fucking blind! Like the dude was staring at me the way his tone was just talking to me

#

It’s like don’t fucking do this. This is fucking ridiculous. Either stay on my side or just tell me you don’t wanna listen to me anymore.

#

My head hurts so bad right now

#

I’m gonna take some Advil and probably take a hot shower

#

My mom literally emailed the dean of students and the counselor to apologize for my behavior

#

Now, what the hell have I done wrong literally it’s just all these people that I barely talk to and that they don’t understand shit

#

My counselor literally smirked. When I asked, can you make the guy apologize and she just smirked and said: "do you think that will make you feel better?"

#

so then, of course, when I come back, the dude starts asking me all these questions saying what race am I and starts telling me that he loves me

#

And my accounts are just smirks and doesn’t say anything about what’s going on

#

She doesn’t give a flying fuck

#

Yeah, like hell anybody does

#

Who the fuck actually gives a fuck about me and my life?

#

I got left by the girl I loved

#

My parents are getting divorced soon after two years of them contemplating if they want to get divorced or not

#

I got betrayed by my friend group of two years

#

It’s just good fucking grief. I need a break from the stupid life.

#

I honestly just wish a lot of people would just honestly just fuck off for good and just leave me be in peace

#

I barely get any sleep at night

#

Because of my stupid insomnia, I can’t fucking control it, and I don’t know how the fuck to change it

#

Another thing I can’t fucking stand is that when I enter my old teachers classroom there’s this one girl that is just completely rude and out of control

#

She’s this girl who used to be in my old special ed math class and honestly, she’s one of the reasons why I moved to a new one

#

She was disrespectful. She was always disruptive and every time she always get in trouble she always try to claim that it was because she was black.

#

This shit has nothing to do with the race it’s called. You’re just a fucking idiot.

old raptor
#

I don’t wanna go to school tomorrow

old raptor
#

I swear to fucking god I hate school!

#

Fuckin this bullshit fuckin that bullshit

#

Lemme find that one limp bizkit song

old raptor
#

I hate how my cat acts like a child

#

My cat acts like a literal toddler

#

He cries when he doesn’t get what he wants

#

He scratches on the furniture that explains why the back is all fucked

#

Thank god today is late start and classes are shorter

#

Gotta love how my dad gets stern when he tells us that he needs to be at school by 8:15 but never said anything about it in the group chat

#

I swear I hate when he drives us to school sometimes

viral quarry
#

So is mine

#

They're just like children (obviously way less work but still)

#

And yeah, they do wine

#

And cry

#

But they're so sweet as well

#

Maybe you're not a cat person, which does pain me but that's alright

#

I myself absolutely adore my cats. Even when she's so old I have to force her to take eyedrops and medicine every day, even though her vet bills might send me into debt...

#

And I love the other one despite her knocking over every glass of water she's ever seen, and when she climbs up my legs with her very sharp class..

#

Claws*

old raptor
#

I hate this class so much

old raptor
#

It’s just I hate how sometimes my cat zooms around the house

limber hornet
old raptor
#

Fuckin hell all this teacher does is blast country music on the speaker

limber hornet
jaunty junco
#

@old raptor quit yapping

old raptor
#

I just wanna go home

#

Like seriously

old raptor
#

No

jaunty junco
old raptor
#

Someone you love left?

#

You have non verbal disorder?

#

Okay well you were young

#

Mine affects the most since I’m actually old enough to realize what the hell is going on

#

Like she died?

#

Why?

#

Oh

#

Your parents did that

#

My parents never did any court and custody shit

#

But they’ve both changed

jaunty junco
#

But I don't care

#

Lmao

#

Don't let people cause drama within you @old raptor that is the best advice I have ever received

limber hornet
#

wild

#

why bring up ur issues in someone elses journal fr

old raptor
#

So Anyways

#

The day has gone somewhat okay

jaunty junco
#

@old raptor today it has, but what about tomorrow?

old raptor
#

I don’t know who you are

#

Leave

jaunty junco
#

Why must you know who I am

#

And how can I tell you

old raptor
#

I don’t care

#

Leave now

old raptor
jaunty junco
#

Why

old raptor
#

Because I don’t know you!

#

So please leave

jaunty junco
#

You don't know most people on this server... But ok ig

old raptor
#

This is my journal.

#

my journal.

#

Where I can tell my thoughts and feelings and the stuff I can let out without having to do it irl

jaunty junco
#

I know but I'm saying that hostility is not needed

#

And I am not making it mine

old raptor
#

I’m asking you to leave

#

So please leave

distant lion
jaunty junco
old raptor
#

Go now

#

Do not respond

jaunty junco
#

Responded

#

Don't reply

#

You're the one getting annoyed do the math

old raptor
#

Alright

#

So then there’s today

#

Besides the interruption

#

Stuff is going okay

#

Aye @finite merlin

#

Why you add a taco?

finite merlin
#

Ya

#

Dunno

#

Added a heart to..

#

Sry

old raptor
#

It’s all good

finite merlin
#

😐

old raptor
finite merlin
#

I didn't mean to wound disrespectful

#

Sound*

old raptor
#

Oh

#

Everything is good

jaunty junco
#

I just wanted to say sorry (I know I said I wasn't going to respond but just one last time) I feel bad now

old raptor
#

Everything is alright

old raptor
#

Thank god school has ended for the day

#

Now I have 24 hours to chill until I return

viral quarry
#

You should try having a little self care evening

#

Take a long bath or shower

#

Eat something scrummy

#

But also something nutritious so it doesn't make you feel crappy

#

Like make a really good Smoothie or smth

#

Maybe go outside for a bit

#

Just to get some fresh air

#

And I'd recommend a face mask or something like that but idk if you'd like that

#

Whenever I want to feel rejuvenated I do a hot bath with a bath bomb and/or bubble bath if I have it, lemon and/or Cucumber water, some sort of yummy snack and drink. My favorite is chocolate coveted strawberries because they taste good and I like making them, but they're also a bit healthy so they're filling and stuff. Put a nice candle (my vanilla and coconut one from indigo is legit heaven) and like a face mask, some music

#

My favourite

#

And it's fairly easy to, so even if you're tired ypj can do it

limber hornet
#

^

old raptor
#

I swear I am failing as a human being.

#

I lash out at people

#

Everyday when I wake up I hate going to school

#

Because good fuckin lord that place treats me horribly

#

I swear I always attract the most stupidest people and fake friends

#

Like why?

#

I barley have met any real friends

#

I almost have a headache everyday

#

I hate using anticipation medicine

#

I take Advil and I hate taking pills

#

Now we’ve reached the 1980s of messages

old raptor
#

I fucking hate my mom. I fucking swear.

#

She still wants me to talk to the dean of students and the counselor even after they blamed me and did not defend me when they were somebody being racist and ablest towards me

#

Truly, they just don’t give a fuck

#

It’s pretty obvious

#

I swear to God, my mom is gonna be one of the most worst people in my life

#

All she does is just blame me and never help me

#

And then when i ask for help, guess what? I get blamed

#

I hate it so much

#

She just wants to defend people who literally did not help me

#

Thank God, there’s 34 more days left of the school year

#

Because right now I need my goddamn summer break

#

Good god she just wants me to do this and do that

#

Then I have to fuckin help clean later which I don’t wanna have to do

#

Seriously fuck this shit

#

Fuck school, fuck my mom, fuck the dean of students, fuck my counselor, and fuck ableism and fuck racism

#

I’m glad she’s getting divorced

#

She deserves it. Even tho she’s been sad and emotional about it

#

I hope it comes soon

#

And then I fuckin hate being special ed

#

Why me god? Why me?

#

Why does it always have to be with health conditions

#

ADHD, anxiety, non verbal learning disorder

#

Celiac disease as well

#

I just hate dealing with all of it at once

#

My mom told me to say hi to the dean of students or my counselor if they say hi to me

#

Yeah fuck no. Absolutely not

#

What really also pisses me off is that nobody understands what I talk about

#

I’ve explained to my parents that there are people that mess with me yes. What is their response? They say: "stick with your good friends" I DONT HAVE ANY OF MY GOOD FRIENDS IN ANY OF MY CLASSES

#

THE GIRL WHO SAVED MY LIFE I DONT HAVE A CLASS WITH HER, I DONT HAVE A CLASS WITH THE DUDE I ALWAYS TALK WITH.

#

Good fucking Grief it’s annoying as fuck

#

I knew this year was gonna be shit. And guess what? I was completely fucking right

#

This is why I’ve thought about moving away for collgee

old raptor
#

Gotta love it when you have a crush on a girl and she has a boyfriend and she’s not a virgin

viral quarry
#

The boyfriend thing is understandable, but someone not being a virgin doesn't take away from their worth.

old raptor
#

I swear I’m so ugly and I’ll never find anybody

#

And then when I tell everybody that im ugly

#

They always reassure me that I’m not

distant lion
#

Thas cz u mainly focus on ur flaws meanwhile others notice ur flaws n beauty at the same time

old raptor
distant lion
#

No matt is i promise ur not ugly at all its js that everything takes time u still got a long life ahead u js gotta wait for the right person n time

old raptor
#

People are ungrateful and judgemental nowadays

distant lion