a journal of my life

[manic jackal]

beautifull

well the way you say it yes

[lilac bone]

if have to get up at 6 tomorrow for work ...

i cant stand that anymore

[manic jackal]

L i have to wake up at 8

[lilac bone]

how

[manic jackal]

reak

[lilac bone]

dont u have school?

[manic jackal]

activity week, otherwise i wouldve also have to wakeup at 6

so i have to be at school at 10 now:)

[lilac bone]

xd

i am going to go smoke now and then I will brush my teeth and go to sleep (which means I will watch insta reels for another 2 hours or so💀 )

[manic jackal]

so real

[lilac bone]

gn8 lads

omg

@manic jackal

i just realized

i forgot a jacket at my ex´s apartment and its one of my favourite

i have to text her now

and ask for her to send it to me

🫠

[manic jackal]

oop

goodluck with that

[lilac bone]

hm

[manic jackal]

nightt (this is my sign to also go to sleep)

[wooden oxide]

I read that whole conversation.

[manic jackal]

Slaying

[wooden oxide]

Yes

Also goodmorning to you

[manic jackal]

Morning!

[lilac bone]

good morning

yesterday I was thinking about going to the gym after work today, I woke up and the first thing that came to my mind was "hell nah"

[manic jackal]

Real

[wooden oxide]

so real sm

[manic jackal]

Bruh my dad just randomly vented to me🫡

[lilac bone]

what did he vent about

[manic jackal]

Just some random stuff

[digital cape]

hello

[manic jackal]

Hey?

[digital cape]

what's up

[manic jackal]

Nothing much wbu

[digital cape]

oh just normal stuff

[manic jackal]

Alr

[wooden oxide]

You alr finished school?? 😞💔

[manic jackal]

Yep

Just got homeee

[wooden oxide]

Luckkyy

I still have an hour

And then a bus trip

Home

[manic jackal]

Oh damn goodluck girl

[manic jackal]

Crying my guts out rn because of a book

💀

[wooden oxide]

what book?

[manic jackal]

My mascara stings as hell😔

[manic jackal]

Girl in pieces

[wooden oxide]

I want to read that so badly tbh

[manic jackal]

It's a good book, just hella sad

[wooden oxide]

aah

it is abt ||sh|| isn't it?

[manic jackal]

and a little triggering

[manic jackal]

Yeah

Well it's one of the factors

[wooden oxide]

oohh

[manic jackal]

I officially hate books

My head hurts

😔

And my eyes sting

[wooden oxide]

girl stop reading

let your eyes calm

[manic jackal]

But like no😔

[digital cape]

what are you reading ?

[manic jackal]

Girl in pieces

[wooden oxide]

I love reading, I get you

[digital cape]

yeah reading is one of the best thing one can do

[manic jackal]

Yep

Well

Unless it's about triggering stuff💀

[wooden oxide]

sshh yk whats better

watching triggering stuff

(I always cry doing it)

[manic jackal]

Girl what how😭🙏

[wooden oxide]

it isnt better but I dont havo money for books

[digital cape]

well that's part of the charm I believe

[manic jackal]

I want this tattoooo😔🙏

But I won't be able to get them untill I'm out of the house

[wooden oxide]

what charm

[manic jackal]

And this one, cuz of the panick attacks

[wooden oxide]

thats so cute

[manic jackal]

So real

[manic jackal]

What charm?🧍‍♀️

[manic jackal]

I know right!

[digital cape]

feelings that comes from litterature

[manic jackal]

Huh

[wooden oxide]

i just said I always watch stuff not read it 🤨

[manic jackal]

I'm so confused

Maybe too slow

Maybe both

[wooden oxide]

me too

[digital cape]

I wasn't talking about you

[manic jackal]

This is now so much more confusing

ANYWAYS

[wooden oxide]

idk why but this message radiated aggression

[digital cape]

not at all

[wooden oxide]

it did though

[manic jackal]

It kinda did

[digital cape]

Iam a pacifist at heart

[wooden oxide]

ikr I felt it

through my screen

[manic jackal]

A what

[manic jackal]

Same

[digital cape]

I despise violence

[manic jackal]

Alr

[digital cape]

hmm

[wooden oxide]

i love it

gur

jkjk

[manic jackal]

(She's not joking)

Omg I love love love chicken nuggets

[wooden oxide]

keep you door open>:)

[wooden oxide]

me too just the vegan ones

[manic jackal]

Come here you can sleep on the floor

[manic jackal]

Real

[wooden oxide]

yay

[lilac bone]

hellooo

what happened today

[manic jackal]

Hey

[lilac bone]

update me

[manic jackal]

Not much, some stupid thing were we talk with people about their professions, but they didn't have anyone of the police so yeah didn't have any questions tbh

[lilac bone]

you want to become a police officer?

[manic jackal]

Yep, K9 to be exact:)

[lilac bone]

i am in chains already😔

[manic jackal]

😭🙏

[lilac bone]

i saw our little french "you have to be thankful person" was back

[manic jackal]

Yeah😔

We have to accept the French ig

[lilac bone]

hell nah

i never will

[manic jackal]

Real

I mean, omg you cant say that we have to accept it

Them*

[lilac bone]

we don´t need to accept anyone

[manic jackal]

😭

[lilac bone]

watching handball rn and I am so excited for saturday and sunday

[manic jackal]

HEY THIS IS MY JOURNAL

Make your own or sum

[lilac bone]

shut up miss K9, i do what i want

✨

[manic jackal]

Nah ah

I have connections sir

[lilac bone]

oh, I am all ears

[manic jackal]

Lonny, river, gayri and lyqn

And pearl and Ari would also help me

I basically just got the whole staff team behind me

[lilac bone]

so you basically slept with half the server

💀

[manic jackal]

WHAT?!

[lilac bone]

i am joking

[manic jackal]

No💀🙏

[lilac bone]

chill

[manic jackal]

I was a very active listener for like 5 months untill my mental health got too bad😭

[manic jackal]

Imma report you now

[lilac bone]

do it pls

[manic jackal]

😭🙏

[lilac bone]

i want attention so bad, I love getting reported

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHAGA

Attention seeker fr

[lilac bone]

of course

[manic jackal]

Crazy

[lilac bone]

so I´ll start now, okay?

dear journal

[manic jackal]

No

[lilac bone]

today was a bit rough

[manic jackal]

Shhhhhh

Shut up

[lilac bone]

:D

[manic jackal]

[wooden oxide]

i beg everyone's pardon?!

[manic jackal]

Fr

[lilac bone]

😭

[manic jackal]

Like bro, I just had my first ex😔

Oh

[wooden oxide]

waht

[manic jackal]

Please don't come here pearl

[lilac bone]

uhm

[manic jackal]

I'm sorry for that word

[manic jackal]

I ain't a

[lilac bone]

wiat

[manic jackal]

Uhm

[lilac bone]

wait

[manic jackal]

H

Word

[lilac bone]

is this word forbidden?

[wooden oxide]

OH

[manic jackal]

Yeah😔

[manic jackal]

BHAHAH

[lilac bone]

what

how

why

[manic jackal]

Because you can't call people a H

[lilac bone]

its a completly normal thing to have relationships

[wooden oxide]

should I cut up my shirt

[lilac bone]

what

[wooden oxide]

pardon?!

[manic jackal]

Huh never said that😭

[lilac bone]

i dont understand anything rn

[manic jackal]

Yeah we can see that

[lilac bone]

what word did u mean?

ex?

[manic jackal]

The H word

[lilac bone]

ye but I dont find it anywhere

here in the chat

[manic jackal]

Wdym

[manic jackal]

Ciz it's filters

Filterd

[lilac bone]

.

ah

but how did jolly knew then?

[manic jackal]

Cuz I told her

[lilac bone]

oh wow

[manic jackal]

.

[lilac bone]

of course I didnt understand lol

[manic jackal]

You're just too slow

[lilac bone]

yes, be excited for ur 20´s

you´ll feel old

[manic jackal]

No thanks

[manic jackal]

You are

[lilac bone]

well, you cant slow that down💀

people get older

[manic jackal]

I can

[lilac bone]

idk if u are aware of that concept

but its called "life"

[manic jackal]

Just don't make it till that age

God I love dark humour

[manic jackal]

Ew

[lilac bone]

you have to get at least 18

to drive

its fun

[manic jackal]

Idc

I can cycle

[wooden oxide]

cycle??

[manic jackal]

Bike

?

[wooden oxide]

huh you do that

I only do that on vacations

[manic jackal]

Yeah? You don't...

[wooden oxide]

urhm no they don't bike here

[manic jackal]

I bike everyday 1,5 hours to get to school....

[lilac bone]

it´s normal in every country @wooden oxide

[wooden oxide]

what the flip girl

[manic jackal]

🧍‍♀️

[wooden oxide]

not here.. or like maybe in the country

[manic jackal]

I'm just fit

[wooden oxide]

but don't you know how big a country is

[manic jackal]

Mine is hella small

[wooden oxide]

look at england, it isn't that small

no but they don't bike here in my hometown

we can bike but no one does it really

[manic jackal]

Damn you're not missing anything

Stupid bikes

I freeze to death everyday

[wooden oxide]

sounds disgusting (I walk everyday to school so yeah I get what you mean)

[lilac bone]

i see why england isn´t meeting the climate goals💀

[manic jackal]

Real

[wooden oxide]

GIRL I WALK

[manic jackal]

(Damn girl)

[wooden oxide]

MY MOM TAKES HER CAR WITH HER LAZY LEGS

[lilac bone]

is everyone here called a girl?

or do u think I am one

[manic jackal]

Yes

You're one of the girls now

[wooden oxide]

yes. I don't care about your gender itenity

[lilac bone]

me too bhtw

btwe

btw

[wooden oxide]

i choose you are a "girl"now

[lilac bone]

oh well

[manic jackal]

Real

[lilac bone]

i will tell that my mom rn

as we speak

[manic jackal]

Tell me her reaction

[lilac bone]

she always watches me while I am texting other ppl

so she already knows I guess

[manic jackal]

💀

[lilac bone]

i drove home today and cyclers are completly out of their mind

i hate them

they dont know any rules

and then they will argue

[manic jackal]

I've nearly been driving over like 5 times in 2 years

[lilac bone]

i am not saying deserved

but

I can understand

[wooden oxide]

whar

[manic jackal]

WHAT?!

HEY

[lilac bone]

I AM NOT SAYING DESERVED

[manic jackal]

[manic jackal]

YOU ARE

[lilac bone]

NO

[wooden oxide]

you almost got hit by a car..??

[lilac bone]

NOT MY FAULT U READ WHAT U WANT

[manic jackal]

YES?!

[manic jackal]

Like 4 times now yeah

[lilac bone]

thats really normal when u cycle on the street

[wooden oxide]

I don't do that

[lilac bone]

i almost drove over a biker 3 times or so

[wooden oxide]

I did went to a weird country once

[lilac bone]

because they suddenly cross me

or do smth stupid

[wooden oxide]

and biked there for 2 weeks

ALSO @manic jackal I CAN NOT TALK NEXT WEEK

😭

[manic jackal]

WHAT NO WHY?!

[manic jackal]

Fr

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA

[wooden oxide]

SO I ALWAYS TEXT ON MY LAPTOP AND I AM GOING TO THE COUNTRYSIDE NEXT WEEK

AND I CAN'T TAKE MY LAPTOP WITH ME

SO MAYBE ON INTERNET BUT IT WILL NOT BE MUCH

SINCE NO WIFY

WIFI*

[manic jackal]

NOOO

I can't miss you

[wooden oxide]

ill see if I can get wifi once a day

[manic jackal]

OMG YES PLEASE DO

[manic jackal]

My friends are annoying me

They can do the most random thing and I get annoyed

I know it's toxic of me, but I just can't help it

I hide that I'm annoyed but still

[digital cape]

you shouldn't blame yourself for that , it's justa process of maturing , it's kind of a good thing actually

[manic jackal]

Not really....

Last time I checked it's not good to get annoyed all the time by friends🧍‍♀️

[digital cape]

well that's becoming more mature , that's the thing about it

[manic jackal]

I need someone to fact check ciz this is the biggest cap I've heard

@lilac bone you're like the adult here fact check this pleade

[lilac bone]

hello

i heard my name

[manic jackal]

Fact check

[manic jackal]

It seems cap

[lilac bone]

i hope its important if u interrupt me during handball+

wait

[manic jackal]

💀

[digital cape]

it's not about what it seems it's about what it is

[lilac bone]

what are u on about 💀 , you dont suddenly get annoyed by your FRIENDS because you aged a little bit

[manic jackal]

Please learn proper English cuz I can't deal with this rn

😔

[lilac bone]

how old are u? @digital cape

[manic jackal]

OKEY THANK YOU

[manic jackal]

18-19

[lilac bone]

ah

so

[manic jackal]

Its definitely my shitty mental health but yeah

[lilac bone]

the only thing that can happen is when u get older, your brain is fully developed and u realize more things, emotionally. So maybe you get a bit more sad or stressed and that results out of it

but what u said

age = annoyed

is complete bs

[manic jackal]

Nah I've been the sad kid since I was born💀

Even my grandparents said so

[lilac bone]

yes but u cant deny biology

of course your brain doesn´t function as good as a mature person

that was bad english but u know what i mean @manic jackal

[lilac bone]

maybe you don´t feel understood enough by them? idk anything really about u but you sound a bit lonely sometimes

[digital cape]

that's not what I said you misunderstood , maturing does not necessarily mean aging physically , it's more about your mind , after a certain amount of time you can grow tired of something you would usually consider fun or nice , sometimes it's a sign of change

[lilac bone]

yes but u dont suddenly get annoyed by ur friends because u age

there is no correlation between that 2 things

[digital cape]

it can happen

[lilac bone]

"can" is a different thing than "it happened because u are older"

[digital cape]

it's a possibility to take account for

[manic jackal]

Yeah

[lilac bone]

also, its not the age that defines how annoyed u are from certain things, it´s the circumstances that change because u get olderm its the stress and stuff but not "age" itself

[manic jackal]

No it's genuinely my mental health and everything

[digital cape]

it's not about the age , it's about mental maturity , it's not the same thing

[manic jackal]

account?

[manic jackal]

you're confusing me

[lilac bone]

responsability

[manic jackal]

ahh

[lilac bone]

so you basically said, what u said earlier was wrong

[digital cape]

basically what I said is a possibility of you feeling annoyed

[manic jackal]

what is?

[lilac bone]

ur age

[manic jackal]

how💀

[digital cape]

no , re-read it , it makes sense , it's all part of the same context

[lilac bone]

idk, i just explained what he/she meant

[lilac bone]

nothing really makes sense what u type

[manic jackal]

you make no sense

[lilac bone]

and trust me, i read everything

[manic jackal]

write it in french and send it through deep l cuz this aint working

[lilac bone]

@digital cape with what intention did u come into this chat? like in general

[digital cape]

I do , you just need to understand the flow of the things , making short phrases would be ineffective

[digital cape]

but to help others of course

[lilac bone]

💀

[digital cape]

what's wrong ?

[lilac bone]

what are u talking about

[digital cape]

what do you mean , my sentence speak for itself

[lilac bone]

i need to understand what "flows"? and what do u mean with short phrases

[manic jackal]

this thing is the most confusing conv ive ever had

what

[lilac bone]

@manic jackal what did u maneuver me into💀

[manic jackal]

you're the adult

go solve it or sum

[lilac bone]

XDDD

[digital cape]

the flows is the suite of sentences , if I speak with short phrases what I say won't have the same weight or pertinence

[lilac bone]

stop saying i am the adult, i am just 23 and i wanna be 17 again🫠

[manic jackal]

youre old ass hell what

[lilac bone]

WHAT

[manic jackal]

huh

please

for the love of God

PLEASE

use deepL

[lilac bone]

did u learn that sentence in ur philosophie lesson or sum

today

in school

[manic jackal]

my throat hurts

[digital cape]

I do philosophy yes , but I just generally speak formally

[manic jackal]

its cuz i nearly choked on bread

[manic jackal]

please just dont

[lilac bone]

your english doesnt make sense

[manic jackal]

fr

[lilac bone]

like i am not even hating or smth

it just doesnt make any sense

[manic jackal]

and ive knows english for some time

[digital cape]

what don't make sense ?

[lilac bone]

you put words that sound good together and form a sentence

thats all

[manic jackal]

can we all just laugh so i didnt choke for nothing

[manic jackal]

like everything

[lilac bone]

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

[digital cape]

I have vocabulary , so ?

[manic jackal]

thank you

[manic jackal]

i also have it, but not this

its way to late for this men

[lilac bone]

ye but no grammar or any sense

[manic jackal]

please just stop

this is my journal and you're ruining it by going into some discusion with people

im genuine not in the mood for this rn

[manic jackal]

nothing against you dw

im just tired

[lilac bone]

can we even call this a discussion? i feel like i am trying to teach an elephant on how to turn the dishwasher on

[manic jackal]

can you have a sensetive throat?

[manic jackal]

so real

[lilac bone]

i was answering him/her

[digital cape]

how kind of you

[manic jackal]

wait imma search it up brb

[manic jackal]

of who?

[lilac bone]

what hahaha

[manic jackal]

just asking wait

[digital cape]

ow you're just slow

[manic jackal]

oh

sorry mods

[lilac bone]

@digital cape we have nothing against u, really. but our communication with u is just not anywhere near functioning

[manic jackal]

i knew it aws being filterd dw

wasnt aboutt o send it fr

[manic jackal]

or just speak normally

[digital cape]

but I do

[manic jackal]

but your not?

we're asking you to explain what you mean and you become rude?

[digital cape]

Iam not rude at all

[manic jackal]

just leave me and this journal alone, youve been nothing but rude

[manic jackal]

sure bud

[lilac bone]

i thought i have hard conversations at work but this is next level

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHAHA

fr tho

oh yeah can i have a sensitive throat

brb imma search it up

[lilac bone]

what

i still dont understand

where is that throat coming from rn xd

[manic jackal]

oh uhm throat cancer?

oh

[lilac bone]

what

u have it or what?

[manic jackal]

well its just that i often then throat pain so yk

[lilac bone]

but u asked "can I have?"

[manic jackal]

yeah

can you have a sensitive thoat

[lilac bone]

AHH

[manic jackal]

cuz yk its iritated often

[lilac bone]

i see

[manic jackal]

yeahhh

you infact can not

google told me i had cancer

[lilac bone]

is it just the throat or do u have any other symptoms?

[digital cape]

yeah it can happens , the mucus can get infected

[manic jackal]

real nice if you ask me

[manic jackal]

yeah but thats def not whats wrong

[manic jackal]

just throat

but it might be cuz i chocked on the bread

[lilac bone]

do u still have ur...

[manic jackal]

[lilac bone]

like

whats inside ur throat

[manic jackal]

YES?!

[manic jackal]

OHHH

yeah i do

[lilac bone]

idk how it is called

[manic jackal]

[digital cape]

hahaha

[lilac bone]

NOT WHAT U THOUGHT HAHAHAH

[manic jackal]

thats the dryest laugh ive ever heard

[lilac bone]

maybe these are the problem

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA I WAS SO IN SHOCK FOR A MOM

[manic jackal]

i got told that they where big

[digital cape]

so you can hear pixels ?

[lilac bone]

well

there u have it

[manic jackal]

i wanted to make a nsfw joke

[manic jackal]

💀

[lilac bone]

XDDDD

[manic jackal]

where the hell is your sence of humour

[lilac bone]

it just keeps going

[manic jackal]

sense

[lilac bone]

thats what u meant with the flow

[manic jackal]

fr

[lilac bone]

i see

[manic jackal]

stupid french

[digital cape]

I know it's a joke

[manic jackal]

ugh

my teacher is the worst tbh

[digital cape]

I made it even more meta

[manic jackal]

idk what it is with french people

[digital cape]

haha

[lilac bone]

are u really 18-19 or 12?

[manic jackal]

meta?

the hell is this

18th century?

[lilac bone]

maybe he lives in a castle

[manic jackal]

thats cool asf if you ask me

[lilac bone]

yes but it would explain a lot

[manic jackal]

my knees hurt

[manic jackal]

fr

[digital cape]

some jokes in this journal weren't much more humorous , but when it's me that make one then it means that Iam imature ?

[manic jackal]

what even is metta

[lilac bone]

what doesnt hurt on ur body💀

[manic jackal]

thats just called having bad humour

[manic jackal]

uhm

like

uhm

my

uhm

shins

[lilac bone]

its our humor, yes

[manic jackal]

and its some good ass humour

dark humour is the best tbh

[lilac bone]

now u jinxed it

[manic jackal]

i could get canceld if i made a podcast

but thats fine

[manic jackal]

can those even hurt?

[lilac bone]

my humor is so black, it shoots on black ppl

[manic jackal]

NO YOU DID NOT

i gotta show this to my friend

[lilac bone]

ah no

it was wrong

my humor is so dark, it gets shot by US cops

[manic jackal]

NAH

[digital cape]

I got a joke

so

so

[lilac bone]

XD

[manic jackal]

please dont tell us

[lilac bone]

tell us

[manic jackal]

[lilac bone]

no no let him

i am excited af

[manic jackal]

right meant this!

[lilac bone]

cant wait

[digital cape]

what part of the vegetable don't fit in the mixer ?

[lilac bone]

doesn´t*

mr english

[digital cape]

the wheelchair

hahaha

[lilac bone]

wtfg

wtf

[manic jackal]

and now the funny part?

[lilac bone]

thats my sign to go smoke tbh

i cant take that

[manic jackal]

[manic jackal]

NO WAIT NOT WITHOUT ME

ngl id smoke

[lilac bone]

i didnt smoke before btw, with that joke you made me @digital cape

[lilac bone]

I have discord on my phone

[digital cape]

vegetable people are stuck in wheelchairs so

[lilac bone]

brb

[digital cape]

oh oh

[manic jackal]

i think bro missed the point of a joke

[digital cape]

I have another one

[lilac bone]

i am genuialy laughing rn because this doesn´t make any sense in any universe xdd

[manic jackal]

so real

it was so bad that it was funny

[lilac bone]

the best jokes are the ones u have to explain after

keep that in mind @digital cape

[manic jackal]

''its so bad i wanna give it a 0, but thats not posible so i give it a 1''

[manic jackal]

fr

IVE FOUNF SOME WATER

[digital cape]

people that are you know braindead , we call them vegetables , a vegetable is also something you can eat , so when you put a vegetable in a mixer you can't put the whellchair too

it wasn't hard to understand

[lilac bone]

you know what

[manic jackal]

worst joke of the century

[lilac bone]

that only makes sense in french

[manic jackal]

fr

can i report people for bad jokes?

i should

[digital cape]

ah could be

[lilac bone]

you can burn them I think, just say its a whitch

[manic jackal]

what?

OMG YES

WAIT

imma do that

[lilac bone]

NOT COULD BE, THATS WHAT WE WERE TRYING TO TELL YOU SINCE 30 MINS. EVERYTHING U TYPE IN ENGLISH IS UR SENTENCE TRANSLATED FROM FRENCH DIRECTLY

💀

[manic jackal]

cant send gifs

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHAH FR

[lilac bone]

nah brb now

[manic jackal]

awh

[digital cape]

oh Sophie

[manic jackal]

no

whats up

[digital cape]

I have another joke

[manic jackal]

please donts

[digital cape]

it's a good one

[lilac bone]

i am on that side this time

[manic jackal]

youve said that about the last 2

[digital cape]

My mom died when we couldn't remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to "be positive," but it's hard without her

[manic jackal]

i think we get it

[digital cape]

hahahahahahahaha

[manic jackal]

mid

[lilac bone]

the cigarette tastes so good after i lost several braincells in this convo

[lilac bone]

at least that one made sense

[manic jackal]

ID NEVER ASK WHO WAS BETTER, SHE COULDNT BE, COULDNT BE, MORE DIFFERENT FROM ME

[digital cape]

damn that's crazy

oh oh that's billie elish

[manic jackal]

ngl my voice sounds like i just smoke 3 packs of cigs

[manic jackal]

if you say one bad thing about her i will come and get you

[lilac bone]

whiskey is the key to a good voice

[manic jackal]

💀

[lilac bone]

i am sad i cant send any pics

[digital cape]

so basically guys , I have a question

[manic jackal]

yes

[manic jackal]

what did you want to send?

[lilac bone]

i did dm

[lilac bone]

everyone here is a girl btw, me included

[lilac bone]

(as I learnt today)

[manic jackal]

<@&923393222187810846>

[lilac bone]

uhm

[digital cape]

relax sophie it was a joke

a good one

hahah

[lilac bone]

maybe "talk to her" is translated differently in french too

[manic jackal]

yeah no absolutely not

[steel sail]

Please use an appropriate way to discuss something

[manic jackal]

thats not okey

[digital cape]

Iam a pacifist at heart

[manic jackal]

thank you lonny!

[steel sail]

Most welcome

[manic jackal]

right

[digital cape]

You doubt me ?

[lilac bone]

what u mean by "discuss something" 💀
he just asked if he should beat his gf

[manic jackal]

yeah

[manic jackal]

[digital cape]

• I wouldn't dare to hurt any girl

[autumn mountain]

Huh?

[digital cape]

lovethem too much

[manic jackal]

he asked us if he should beat the crap out of his gf

[lilac bone]

you just hurt us emotionally with all of your messages

[manic jackal]

lonny deleted the message

[lilac bone]

ah

[digital cape]

aaah sorry then

my bad

[manic jackal]

YOUR BAD?!

THATS IT?!

[lilac bone]

😂😂😂

[manic jackal]

[digital cape]

I can't bow , I have no legs

[manic jackal]

skill issues

/jk

[lilac bone]

@manic jackal should I eat a , idk how it is called

[manic jackal]

I DONT EXPECT A BOW?1

[lilac bone]

wait

where tf is my charger

[manic jackal]

idk

[lilac bone]

fk u, give it to me now

[manic jackal]

nah ah

[autumn mountain]

:)

you aren't gonna hear from him for a few hours

All sorted now

[lilac bone]

thank god

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA THANK YOU

[lilac bone]

I was hoping u say "a few days" but thats okay as well

[manic jackal]

I stan you fr

[manic jackal]

fr, its sadly night for the all of us

[manic jackal]

btw its like 10pm for him rn, so i would say you should give him a day to really think about it

[lilac bone]

tomorrow 7 am "i am back wanna hear a joke?"

[manic jackal]

id block him tbh

[lilac bone]

"its a good one"

[manic jackal]

i lost braincells hearing those jokes

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHAHA

[lilac bone]

"what do u call a computer at night?"

"a giraffe"

[manic jackal]

HE SEND ME A DM

IM DEAHT

[lilac bone]

SHAHAHAHA

show me

[manic jackal]

IM CRYING

HE SEND ME A FRIEND REQUEST

i have the urge to accept

for the plot

[lilac bone]

do it

to be fair, it made a lot of fun to make fun of him

[manic jackal]

I CANT

BHAHAHAHA

[lilac bone]

xd

answer him

pls

[manic jackal]

i did

very demure

very mindfull

blocked him

wierdo

[lilac bone]

why

what did he type after

[manic jackal]

some wierd shit

[lilac bone]

nah u have to show me now

i am curious

[manic jackal]

il do it tomorrow

remind me tho

cuz il forget

[lilac bone]

okok, i´ll go back to gaming

[manic jackal]

these edits motivate me so much to keep fighting tbh

[lilac bone]

but are you really thinking about "giving up"?

like

yk what i mean

[manic jackal]

yeah

[lilac bone]

oh no

why?

[manic jackal]

Idk, just everything ig

ive honestly been struggeling with mental health since i was around 9/10, that was when covid happend, i started doubting myself and everything and everyone around me, i started having ||suicidal|| thoughts etc. i then beat that, at the age of 13 i went to a concert, and posibly felt so much happiness that my body started to crave it became genuinly depressed for around 3 weeks and dealth with the after effects. but that year a lot of stuff happend, a friend i met that had an ||ED|| she got admitted to the hospital, I started ||sh|| in this time snd so many other stuff that my mental health declind pretty bad. this year i got a bf, he was ||suicidal|| he never talked about it with me, but he dropped a ||death date|| in a server, this caused me to be in my head even more and made me have ||suicidal|| thoughts, so yeah since then ive had these thoughts. And yeah then i got my very first side job, and that was the last dop, i broke down and now i have a therapist:)

[manic jackal]

another one, they just feel like a warm hug for some reason idk

people genuinly dont realise how much idols can help people, its crazy

[lilac bone]

wait, how old are you? 💀

i thought like 16

but covid started 2020 and therefore you are 14 or so nos

[manic jackal]

huh no

[lilac bone]

now

[manic jackal]

i am

[lilac bone]

holy shit

[manic jackal]

what?

[lilac bone]

even tho I texted nothing bad, it feels a bit strange ngl

14 is wild

my english was like "hello and yes" when I was 14

[manic jackal]

thats wild

i learnt to speak fluently when i was like 11

cuz of tiktok and stuff

[lilac bone]

ye I started speaking fluently when I got a pc at my 14th birthday xd

[lilac bone]

are you still together with him?

[manic jackal]

no absolutely not haha, i started to realise that we were toxic for eachother, and then i broke up and found out he cheated

[lilac bone]

cause like, my ex had borderline and it was crazy. I can express my feelings very well and I can handle psyche issues very well too but that was harsh so I wouldnt know what I would have done if my gf had suicidal thoughts

[lilac bone]

ah great

i got cheated on as well, I know how it is like

[manic jackal]

damn that also sounds awefull

[manic jackal]

it sucks ass

[lilac bone]

out of 4 relationships in my life, 3 had heavy psyche issues so i am kinda familiar with everything haha

[manic jackal]

oh damn

bro is writing a new journal

[lilac bone]

so, what I can say is, it will get easier. sounds like a phrase or smth but its not. rn your life is kinda "settled" in a bad way. you have to go to school, you have to live home and u cant make that many decisions. when u finish school and maybe get your first own apartment, some own money and stuff, everything changes. you can do whatever the hell u want. of course u have to work but all the cards are on your table. YOU make the decision that affects ur life. some decision will go terribly wrong, we all have to learn that but thats part of the process. you dont wanna know on what stupid things I spent my money on. relationships come and go and u learn what u really want (you may think you already know that but no, not really. its about everything: circumstances, relationship to his family, money, mental health, everything). friends come and go as well but u are always in charge. living alone is one of the coolest things ever. getting my own money is the coolest thing ever (rn i am at -47€ in my bank account lol). you´ll get ur first car and dont have to cycle 1,5h every morning. you can drive to mc donalds at 11pm wednesday evening and spent ur own money alone. do what the hell u want. you are just 14, your life has so many things to happen. the things u already experience will mark you for life, i wont lie to you but it will help you as well because: if you already experienced so much crap, you´ll get a lot harder to beat. my dad died when I just turned 18 due to alcohol. my parents were already divorced at that point and I had to make every decision about his funeral and had to organize everything because I was the next one in the family tree. it was a reallyyyyy hard time but right now, I can live with that AND i am much more resistant to everything. I joined this server because me and my gf (the one with borderline) broke up. I wanted distraction. but still, the breakup would have destroyed me 4 years ago. rn I am kinda cool with everything that happens

and that will happen to you as well, maybe not in the same way but with the same outcome. always trust in yourself and know your worth, dont settle for anything less than what u wanted in the first place. dont date any dumb dudes when u already have a doubt at the beginning. maybe date them to get experience, idk, its YOUR life. and nothing will destroy you as much that you cant do what u love.

and keep in mind, when u finally get ur own money, you can attend a hell lot more billie eilish concerts than right now :D

my first relationship was 400km away, luckily i had a car but it was always 4 hours to get there. she was completly broken in the head, had depression and suicidal thoughts. I would never ever do that again in my life but back then, it was all i wanted. we always learn the hard way and that is kinda a good and bad thign about life. I love it and hate it at the same time.

[manic jackal]

||im honestly not even sure if il make it untill like idk 18?||

the cycle just repeats it self ig

[lilac bone]

dude

i just held the brightest speech ever

[lilac bone]

and u gonna hit me with that?💀

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA IM SORRY

I CANT IM SO SORRY😭

[lilac bone]

10 mins work for nothing

hahahaha

[manic jackal]

it was like 7

[lilac bone]

STFU

[manic jackal]

no but like very insorational

just uhm

not helping?

idk

[lilac bone]

how

[manic jackal]

it is helping

cuz

✨ hope✨

omg this reminded me of the ''jingle jingle''

[lilac bone]

its hopeless i guess

😔

[manic jackal]

i know

[lilac bone]

well anyways

what do I eat tomorrow

[manic jackal]

such a random switch up

but uhm

noodles

[lilac bone]

nah

or wait

i saw a lifehack

and

i just downloaded bumble (dating app) on my pc

and i downloaded a google chrome add on called "unblur"

so i can see my likes

and match them

didnt work at all, i can not recommend

(i just have 1 like rn)

😔

[manic jackal]

huh

[manic jackal]

sounds like a skill issue if you ask me

thats not a glitch in the system

its YOU

[lilac bone]

stfu my profile is perfect

but it actually doesnt matter what i write in my profile

i just dont look like leonardo di caprio

[manic jackal]

thats what they all say

[lilac bone]

okay

wait

[manic jackal]

im waiting

[lilac bone]

there are like questions that u can answer

[manic jackal]

mh i know

[lilac bone]

and get showed on ur profile

[manic jackal]

ive seen that stupid ad too many times

[lilac bone]

"swipe right if u"

my answer:

"dont go to bed with jeans"

[manic jackal]

honestly what i have to say to that

[lilac bone]

"low-key, I think I"

"am really funny"

[manic jackal]

its too cold at 6 am to not have any clothes on, or to dress

[lilac bone]

"my personal hell is"

"car cleaner things"

yk what i mean

where you drive in

[manic jackal]

so yes i do infact sleep with clothes when its freezing

[lilac bone]

and it gets cleaned

[lilac bone]

holy shit

u will go to hell definetly

i mean i knew thatz before

[manic jackal]

bro, it legit freezes in my room when it does outside

[lilac bone]

but now i am 100% sure

[manic jackal]

nah ah

[manic jackal]

HUH?!

no

i wear my cross daily

[lilac bone]

ppl who do sc will always go to hell

[manic jackal]

sc?

[lilac bone]

suicide

idk how to censor

[manic jackal]

||

on both sides

[manic jackal]

[lilac bone]

||suicide||

ahh

[manic jackal]

dont use stuff against me

[lilac bone]

i mean

u have a cross in ur name

so

you believe in god propably

yk ppl who ||suicide|| go to hell right?

anyways

"about me"

"at the weekend findable on a handball field, otherwise we can argue about UNO rules. (would be cool if u dont vote for AFD), INFP-T and my insta

[manic jackal]

mhm i do

[manic jackal]

what

[lilac bone]

(AFD is a extreme right wing political party in germany

[lilac bone]

my profile u dumb

[manic jackal]

slay?

[manic jackal]

it doesnt say anything

[lilac bone]

what

what would you change

pls

tell me

help me 14 year old girl from the internet

pls brighten me

ye now u gone

i thought

[manic jackal]

huh

[lilac bone]

nothing

[manic jackal]

alr

imma sleep goodnight:)

[lilac bone]

gn8

[manic jackal]

LOVE WAS THE LAW AND RELIGION WAS THAUGHT

omg this song

its curenly 4 am, im tired but ive woken up 5 times since 10 pm and im sick of it, so il just stay up

[wooden oxide]

I LOVR IT SM

[manic jackal]

OMG SAME ITS SO GOOD

I CAN CRY TBH

[wooden oxide]

ikrr!!

[wooden oxide]

SO TRUE IT IS MORNING SO I AM TOO EMOTIONAL

[manic jackal]

SAME GIRL

especially ciz im still hella tired

[wooden oxide]

also that conversastion with the french dude was so funny to reD

[manic jackal]

i can only imagine

[wooden oxide]

his humour was pretty bad though..

[manic jackal]

I KNOW RIGHT😭

[wooden oxide]

😭

[manic jackal]

wait-

why are you up at 5 am?

[wooden oxide]

tbh I don't even know

my brain likes to bully me into waking up

[manic jackal]

real

[wooden oxide]

I could have slept a hour more

[manic jackal]

damn i couldve slept for another 4 hours

[wooden oxide]

pardon?????

4 hours?!

[manic jackal]

yeah untill 8 am

i have an activity week so i have school at 10

[wooden oxide]

ooohh

[manic jackal]

i want to sneak downstairs to grab some meds

[wooden oxide]

understandable, you have a sore throat right?

[manic jackal]

yep

i also have the urge to go to a docter, cuz i get a sore throat like way too often

[wooden oxide]

If it is that often I think going to the docter is the best

wait help. I begin at 7.30 today

[manic jackal]

damn

[manic jackal]

yeah, but what if i have to do surgery

[wooden oxide]

they can do that

?

[manic jackal]

no, but its posible that they say i have to get one

[lilac bone]

they should amputate your brain first

[manic jackal]

Whys that

[lilac bone]

to safe it from your body

[manic jackal]

💀

[manic jackal]

My mom just texted me, she found some baking stuff. A friend of me LOVES to bake, and always bakes for us (me and my other friend) so my mom texted me if she should get it for Christmas or her birthday

[digital cape]

yoooo

[lilac bone]

💀💀💀💀

lyoko

what a pleasure

welcome back

got some good jokes for me?

[manic jackal]

Please shut up😭

My throat is still sore

Took some paracetamol cuz I was feeling sick

[lilac bone]

sophie

we just never understood his jokes

we were dumb

[manic jackal]

Yes

[lilac bone]

its our fault

[manic jackal]

Definitely

[wooden oxide]

Awhh that’s so cute that your mom thought of that

[wooden oxide]

Hes back..

[manic jackal]

I know right

[manic jackal]

Yeah🙏

[wooden oxide]

Im scared of him

And his jokes

[lilac bone]

PAYCHECK CAME🥳

1875€ just for me to spend it on useless things like food, internet, electricity, water, apartment and my car

i just calculated everything, I have roughly about 750€ to live this month

love germany, taking 850€ taxes from my paycheck

[wooden oxide]

damnmoney

[manic jackal]

Slay

[lilac bone]

anyone have an idea on how to pimp my ramen?

going to the grocery store now

[manic jackal]

green onions, chilli oil

eggs

idk

chicken? any meat?

uhhh more veggies

[digital cape]

how are you doing today guys

[manic jackal]

Guys I'd prefer it if it was like used as my journal and not just a talk page, you can react and talk to me etc. But it's kinda annoying me that this gets used as a normal talking page😅

[lilac bone]

well

dont u see it like through that angle that the talking here is part of your journal and these ppl were part of your life?

for a short period

[manic jackal]

Yeah I get it, but I'd prefer if we'd make an gc or something to talk:)

[digital cape]

but but...

[manic jackal]

I enjoy it when people react to stuff or make small talk every once in a while. But if people keep talking it makes me feel guilty for venting which is exactly what I made the journal for, to have a space where I cab vent without me feeling guilty

[digital cape]

it's my favorite place

[manic jackal]

Honestly just go to main

[digital cape]

...🥲

Im sure that if we left you would eventually be bored

[manic jackal]

Like the talking helped and it made me feel better, but I noticed that the venting came with a lot of guilt because of that so if you guys are okey with a gc I can make that:)

[manic jackal]

Not rlly

I have other friends yk

[digital cape]

damn

@lilac bone you see that

[manic jackal]

Dude💀

Don't even try to start a discussion

[lilac bone]

i am deeply broken now

anyways I'll go and make my ramen

@manic jackal would be lovely if you could make a gc and stop crying, thank you✨

[manic jackal]

I'm not crying bud but alr

[lilac bone]

🍾

[manic jackal]

I'm definitely sick atm, I feel pretty weak and just so tired but I don't want to sleep rn cuz I'm scared I won't be able to sleep tonight otherwise

[digital cape]

@manic jackal then just got some rest , it will be good for you

[manic jackal]

I can't tho

But it's fine

[digital cape]

hmm

well let's just talk about nice stuff

[manic jackal]

I'm good

[digital cape]

I see , you really don't like me huh

[manic jackal]

I do I'm just busy rn

[wooden oxide]

Hope you feel better soon<3

[manic jackal]

Thanks