a journal of my life

[manic jackal]

then why did so many follow me.......

christian unfollowe me

and so did

uhm

i fogot their name

omg i feel so bad because they where the best

OMG NO DID REILLY LEAVE?

why

omg

thats so sad

why did i just notice this

and racc also stepped down

whats happening

[unborn seal]

uh wahts this about

[manic jackal]

A lot of old staff stepped down

[unborn seal]

what staff can i be given the quick story and whats wrong

[manic jackal]

Racc and reilly. I both personally really loved them but now I see that racc is VIP (so they stepped down) and reilly completely left the server

So now kinda all the old staff expect for the mods and lonny are gone

[unborn seal]

yk i dont know any of these people i just kinda joined lol

[manic jackal]

Yeah but that's the story

[unborn seal]

from the start?

[manic jackal]

Wdym

[unborn seal]

is this the entire reason you made the thread

[manic jackal]

No?

If you look good you can see that it's my journal🤦🏼‍♂️

It's been active sinds like February

[unborn seal]

brief me in interested

[manic jackal]

What🧍‍♀️

[unborn seal]

well im currently doing my bed

so i can sleep

soo cant read through allat rn

[manic jackal]

Good luck 4500 messages😭

[unborn seal]

*cant

[manic jackal]

Goodluck ever reading it all

But hey im not stopping you:)

[unborn seal]

give me a quick run down thats all im sayin

[manic jackal]

Wdym?

[warm otter]

Heh hegone

Tbf

You called this the journey of your life, not your journal. :b

[warm otter]

I think it only lets u be in so many threads at a time

If u talk in more than 8 or smthn it kicks you out of the old one

[manic jackal]

Same thing😔

[manic jackal]

Yeah but why do so many staff member follow ME

[warm otter]

Journey is not a journal lol

[manic jackal]

Oh well

(I wanted to say journal at the time but I was to stupid)

a journal of my life

There you go😌

[warm otter]

A journal of the journey of my life

[manic jackal]

Wow

[warm otter]

Well especially a few months back you were in a bad spot

Easy to get worried

[manic jackal]

Yeah but like😔

Wow

It's so wierd because I'm honestly feeling pretty good, like 4 weeks ago I felt the worst I ever felt and now I feel pretty good idk how

[manic jackal]

What😭

[manic jackal]

Honestly I don't even think that it's that bad from what I wrote haha

[warm otter]

We are glad :D

[manic jackal]

Yeah:)

[warm otter]

We’re humans too who can read between the lines lol

And from what you wrote

Is prettttttttty bad

The situation at least

[manic jackal]

Yeah but if I read it back it didn't seem that bad since I know that I didn't write everything

[manic jackal]

Whoops (I definitely was in a very bad mental situation)

[warm otter]

And we can also tell that heh

[manic jackal]

Whoops

🫣

[warm otter]

Lol that’s what this place is here for

[manic jackal]

True

Still feel a little bad for making others worried

[warm otter]

Oh you

[manic jackal]

What?

It's just the truth

[warm otter]

People want to know the full picture so they can try to be supportive to their full potential

[manic jackal]

I'm nauseous I hate to much soft serve icecream

Ate

I love it

[manic jackal]

Yeah but still

[warm otter]

People are here to be there for other people

You’re not hurting anyone.

[manic jackal]

Yeah I guess

But still

It's just

[warm otter]

Just what :b

[manic jackal]

Idk it feels wrong

[warm otter]

Buttttt why

[manic jackal]

Idk ask my brain

[warm otter]

I am!!

[manic jackal]

Yeah my brain is off work hours rn

Sorry😔

Come back tomorrow at 9 am maybe your in luck then

[manic jackal]

@warm otter i just read in my bible im waiting for my cat video

''and if someone still works that day the Lord will kill him''

[manic jackal]

arthur has been texting me

like suddenly he cares for me

sorry bud you cared 3 weeks to late

like exuse me

im just living my life (throwing some song lyrics in my socials that are 100% targted to him)

but nothing to special

and then he's suddenly like ''are you alr?''

and ''whats your status abour?''

(it says ''you know your good when you can do it with a broken heart'')

AND NOW HE'S SAYING SORRY

im sorry but can someone knock some self refelction is this guy?

also getting a little scared of myself again, i saw a video talking about ||suicide letters|| and it gave me comfort to think about it

[manic jackal]

im tired

[manic jackal]

i should really stop name dropping~

@wheat bison heyy gotta give a little update since you also helped me idk if you already saw it but i broke up with my bf:) (the way you know exactly who it is is kinda creepy)

its 1:48 again

i need to get a healthy sleep scedule

@neon veldt happy birthday btw:)

[neon veldt]

tysm :0

[warm otter]

So do I have an answer yett

[warm otter]

OMFL

[warm otter]

When i sent this

[warm otter]

This is the last message i saw

Was scrolled up somehow oml

[manic jackal]

Nope just woke up😔

[manic jackal]

I'm still waiting on the cat video

[manic jackal]

feelin shitty because of my ex

he really should stop texting me

he says its my fault

and that he is going through hell. like mate

you where the reason my suicidal thoughts came back🥰

[manic jackal]

Block him

[manic jackal]

yk how i said a few days ago that i was feeling that great?

yeah no, just got a fall back (long live my ex)

[manic jackal]

He cheated one me

Broke up 2 or 3 days ago

And he has been with another girl for a week

Great just fucking great

[frosty heron]

It hurts ik

Cheaters are bad

I hate them

[manic jackal]

yep

it sucks but life goes on ig

[manic jackal]

i hate this bs

he's still in my mind i cant seem to shut it up and mY ||sh|| thoughts are strong af

i hate that he could even do this to me

i gave in

i fucking hate this

it feels like i wasnt enough

like it was my fault

like i shouldve been better

[manic jackal]

feeling so lost and guilty

a friend made me promise i wouldnt hurt myself, although i just did that like 5 minutes before i made that promise and i feel so guilty

[manic jackal]

Made this today

[manic jackal]

ugh im in such a fucked up state atm

and my friend is now like ''yeah i wont put effort if you dont do it''

which i get

but like girl, my world kinda just fell appart

i finally got out of a depressive eppisode, we got back on track with our friendship

and now im getting pushed back in the eppisode

and now she's playing all sad and stuff

it pisses me off, i know that i cant be mad because i get her

but it just sucks that i now also get this over me while i already have enough in my head

im so stupid-

i send a girl where i was gonna work

but because i looked at a lot of company's for the same work i send her the wrong one

and i now hope she didnt already aply cuz we looked forward to work together

omg

i feel so shitty

even worse then how shitty i felt before this

[red vessel]

Holy shit that is amazing

[manic jackal]

okey good news she didnt aply yet

[manic jackal]

thank you!!

[red vessel]

Ofcc

[manic jackal]

i got some more pics so more will be made soon;)

and a shit ton of free time

so exited to draw more

[manic jackal]

(all of the pics are made in a studio dw)

nothing illigel😭

illigal

?

[red vessel]

Illegal

[manic jackal]

i was very close....

[manic jackal]

today i drew again

i also heard that im gonna work on probably thursday

for 3 weeks, its just a vacation job!
im gonna pick berrys?

[manic jackal]

tomorrow im starting my job!

im a little nervous ngl but yeah

i have a headace, but im also to stubborn to take meds

@warm otter im also still waiting on my cat video's😔

[manic jackal]

its 3:30 i have to get up at 6

and i have 8 hours of work

...

and i tried to sleep but i simply cant and i dont know what to do with myself

[manic jackal]

I pulled an all nighter😌✌️

Anyways I'm at work rn

And it's alr ig

But I forgot that they where Christian here so I already did everything and I was just eating. And then the women said 'alright let's pray- or just be quiet.....'

🧍‍♀️

[manic jackal]

Well this sucked

The first 3 hours I had to suppress panick attackss

It later got better

But now I'm just having a random breakdown and idk why

I'm just so over it already and it was just my first day, I feel like everything is overwhelming

Great still just got a panick attack✌️

[manic jackal]

I'm gonna get help

I completely broke down by my mom

And yeah she saw that I could use some support so now she's gonna call the docter since they need to get me there

[manic jackal]

Dad: it's probably just hormones🧍‍♀️

If this is hormones then I don't want to live🙏

[manic jackal]

Oh yeah I'm going to the Psychologist in like 6 weeks or so:)

[manic jackal]

Me and staff from the billie magazine met up yesterday at a billie fan party!

It was so amazing and omg so many hot girls🛐

[manic jackal]

Omg the tiktok for our magazine is totally blowing up

[manic jackal]

guess who's talking to one of the girls

[manic jackal]

omg @manic jackal your a mod now?? congrats!!!

[manic jackal]

Thank you so much :D

[manic jackal]

i feel unvalid because my problems dont seem that bad

i feel like i dont need/deserve a psychologist

[manic jackal]

my friend got mad at me today again, because ive been distancing myself worse then ever lately

i know i need to get a grip on it, and its been going on fer her for like 4 months now, and i know how shitty that is for her. but she's kinda guilt tripping me, but i know that i cant change it right now

[manic jackal]

I'm tired and hungry😔🙏

That's like the best update I ever posted if I say so myself

[manic jackal]

i have a music obsession

i think i can make that official

i now listen to music 7+ hours a day

[manic jackal]

im boreddd

[red vessel]

If that’s you in ur pfp I just wanted to say ur beautiful

[manic jackal]

It is haha, thanks:)

just bought a new lp

im officially broke again

[manic jackal]

Help I though I lost this

But I found it💪

Anyways

Uhm

I kinda like a friend👉👈

And she likes me back🤭

We're just looking together kinda flirting we're bith scared though

So nothing official

[manic jackal]

I'm boreddd

And tires

I should honestly j7st take a nap

Wow my typing skills are still amazing

[manic jackal]

Omg I saw preform at the Olympics I'm not okey

THE GREATEST WAS SO GOOD

The vocals where vocaling

Like wtf

Wait wrong song

(Song of me and my lover)

Okey this one better be it

[manic jackal]

Omg this felt so exiting to say its not oke

[manic jackal]

UGH WRONG AGAIN

Wait I'm gonna find it

OKEY I GOT IR WAIT

Istg if it now tells me to buy nitro

I'm gonna fight dc then

OMG YEAH IT FID IT

Anyways this song is my fav IT just tells the story of me and my ex🙏

And this girl just her vocals

And the way I can relate

ABD THE VOCALS

Omg you guys better listen to the clips now

I have literal chills

PMG AND I MIGHT GO TO GIRL IN RED WITH A FRIEND

(Akka THE gay artist)

She's amazing and I love her

And I hope that my friend is allowed to go

[manic jackal]

OMG GUYS

IEEEE

IM GOING TO BE COACHING A TEAM

CAN YOU BEKIEVE IT?

[manic jackal]

Wow has this server been dead today?

[manic jackal]

CONGRATS!

[manic jackal]

and yeah its kinda dead today

[manic jackal]

Yeah so wierd haha I was so confused

[manic jackal]

Thanks!♡

[manic jackal]

ur welcom

[manic jackal]

Hello

I'm bored

[manic jackal]

hi

[manic jackal]

Heyy

[manic jackal]

hello

havent typed here in a long time

well

uhm

i was feeling amazing for like 2 weeks i was on vacation and stuff

and im back here in my own country and my mental health is going downhill really fast

in 2 weeks i have my first appointment with my psoglogist, or however you spell it

but yeah

[manic jackal]

i had to fill in a online form for my psygoloog, and they asked stuff like ||are you trying to kill or harm yourself|| i just said no because idk when this will be used. i dont even know or trust this person it gives me creeped out vibes that she's already asking this via a form

[manic jackal]

well this take-in was alr ig, i cried she asked me if i had ||suicidal thoughts|| and i cried, my mom cried with me it was heartbreaking ngl. but yeah i start in 2 weeks

my friend has been ignoring me now, ive been isolating myself lately, she knows this and i told her many times why. she gets mad at me, she asks me whats wrong etc and i ofc awnser, and then she just leaves me on read. today i finally voiced out that i feel ignored idk how that will go

[manic jackal]

bonjour havent updates in a long time

had a shit day yesterday, i forgot everything and i just wanstn myself ig

my dad said i looked better, guess my masking gets better or sum

i dont mind though, glad that my parents are happy that im getting ''happy''

have my first appointment in a week, still scared and a little anxious but its okey

the girl i was seeing is ghosting me idk why though

[manic jackal]

I JUST BOUGHT THIS?!

I'm so exited I've been wanting this one for some time now so omg this is so exiting

Now I have to save up for a vinyl I really want!

[manic jackal]

My school picture, they did me Hella dirty

It's not bad but definitely not good😭🙏

[manic jackal]

Do we still remember her?

Ofc we do

Anyways she broke the friendship

She got mad that I was acting cold when she broke it of

She told me I was a bad friend from the start and that that's why my ex left me (I left him he didn't leave me)

But yeah🧍‍♀️

She tried to hurt me and shit

Kinda funny, showed me what her true collors are

[manic jackal]

I'm feeling bad

(The thing won't say the word i wanted to say😔)

Anyways I'm crying in my bed rn

I've got school tomorrow and I'm honestly just 'n feeling to great with everything going on rn

And my bestfrjend now won't come which makes me feel even worse

[warm otter]

congrats!! :D

sophie, read ur Bible and do ur prayers today

[warm otter]

meh legal reasons

[warm otter]

ugh

people your age :D

so what's up

sorry i have not been reminding daily about Bible and pray

to make up for it, i can, hm, you like ducks?

[manic jackal]

Thank you!

[manic jackal]

Oh yeah

[manic jackal]

She wasn't my age...

[manic jackal]

A lot, tomorrow I have my first psychology appointment and I'm ✨️anxious✨️

[manic jackal]

Omg that's so cute

[warm otter]

o.0

[warm otter]

Remember: you do not have plans to destroy mankind

[manic jackal]

Uhm no I don't!

[manic jackal]

Yeah🧍‍♀️ she was older then me and acted like a baby

[manic jackal]

I love animals😭🙏

[warm otter]

Good, you’ve irrevocably subscribed to my animal video mailing list

[manic jackal]

Great

[warm otter]

It’ll go alright.. it can be a slow process

[manic jackal]

I'm still scared af, I mightve already kinda lied. But that was in the thing with my parents

[warm otter]

Wdymmm

[manic jackal]

Well I already told the psychologist that I have ||suicidal thoughts|| where my parents where. But I didn't rlly mention ||that I also make plans when I gave these thoughts|| but like it's fine😃

[warm otter]

Well

Trust is earned

Even they know that

[manic jackal]

True

She doesn't rlly have mind to say the least

[warm otter]

Wdym

[manic jackal]

That she definitely doesn't have my trust rn

[warm otter]

Like I’ve said. There are bad psychologists out there. They should earn your trust

[manic jackal]

Yeah true

[manic jackal]

Kinda imidiatly heard that they won't be able to help me properly because at the point you do ||Self harm|| you need to go to a person that's available 24/7 but those waitlists are like half a year long

[manic jackal]

Awhhh

[warm otter]

I’m Skeptical that they “wouldn’t be able to help”

[manic jackal]

Yeah that's basically what they said😭🙏

[warm otter]

Who is they

[manic jackal]

But uhm yeah they don't know yet

[manic jackal]

The person I had that appointment with

Because if I get urges that are too strong I would have no one to turn to

[warm otter]

Ugh sounds like they’re bad at their job already

[warm otter]

Do you have nobody you could currently turn to?

[manic jackal]

Yep

[manic jackal]

Not really

[warm otter]

Hmmmm

[warm otter]

Not even people here? D:

[manic jackal]

Nope

[warm otter]

Anyways the psychologist can still be helpful, give them the benefit of the doubt

[warm otter]

:/

[manic jackal]

Yeah I will

[warm otter]

Do you have any friends or family you can talk to about these things at least?

[manic jackal]

Yeah, but don't rlly want to

[warm otter]

Why so

[manic jackal]

Don't want to hurt/scare em ig

[warm otter]

Well if they don’t like you for the person you are, idk if they were ever really your friend

I think there are people out there that would be happy to hear this kind of stuff

[manic jackal]

They probably will be but still idk just don't want to ig

[manic jackal]

😭🙏

[manic jackal]

Omg cats are so cutee

[warm otter]

:D

Hmm well you need some people you can talk to about this stuff and people from here apparently don’t cut it

Soooo

[manic jackal]

'Cut it'💀🙏

Okey very bad joke

[manic jackal]

Yeahhh but like no, il be fine

[warm otter]

🧍‍♀️🔫

[manic jackal]

Damn

[warm otter]

Get water gunned

[manic jackal]

Me or you?

[warm otter]

DO I LOOK LIKE A GIRL

[manic jackal]

Awh😔

[manic jackal]

Yes

Now you do

[warm otter]

Do i need to water gun you again

[manic jackal]

Omg I met this girl and she's kinda cute🤭

[manic jackal]

No😔

[manic jackal]

AND SHES FROM THE NETHERLANSS

Pretty close to where I live

[warm otter]

Be careful

[manic jackal]

I am

[warm otter]

Pretty girl from the internet in your area

[manic jackal]

We sent snaps to eachother

So she's real🙏

[warm otter]

I’m still skeptical

And that doesn’t mean she won’t try to sell your spleen on the dark web

[manic jackal]

Omg you should say that to my frjend, she met her girlfriend online because she lived close by (like 15 min with the bike)

Weirdly enough she was real😭🙏

[manic jackal]

Ngl she should, make some bank of of others

[warm otter]

Skeptical

[manic jackal]

What is

[warm otter]

This coming from you doesn’t instill much confidence in me :b

[warm otter]

Me!!

[manic jackal]

Ouch😔 (real)

[manic jackal]

Huh🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

I don’t mean that in a mean way ofc

[warm otter]

Rrr just be careful

[manic jackal]

Mhm suree

[manic jackal]

🦖?

[warm otter]

✅

[manic jackal]

Slay

[warm otter]

Public places, maybe bring a friend

[manic jackal]

Oh yeah I'm still planing on buying a very ass expensive vinyl

[manic jackal]

Yeah if we meet il meet her in the city at the train station (one that's busy af)

[warm otter]

Smart

[warm otter]

Less smart

[manic jackal]

Yep, I can still think yk

[warm otter]

lol sorry

When i was your age i was not as wise :b

[manic jackal]

Nah ah, I've wanted that thing for the longest time, and I now found someone that sells two limited edition vinyls for 90 bucks (120 with shipping) but they said US only so I'm gonna send them a message

[manic jackal]

Yeah I grew up with the internet and all those things with safety and stuff

[warm otter]

Hmmmm maybe a good financial investment in that case

[manic jackal]

For real

Because first I was buying just the one vinyl for 120

[warm otter]

I met a girl off snap once and went straight to her house

Spoilers, she was crazy

[manic jackal]

😭🙏

Does anyone know how trust worthy eBay is🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

As trust worthy as the seller

[manic jackal]

Yes

[warm otter]

You can look at the reviews from the seller on eBay

[manic jackal]

The seller has 1000+ reviews and all positive

[warm otter]

OK see 100% positive feedback that’s good

Very trust worthy

[manic jackal]

Okey so like I can send em a message

Okey wait imma do that now

[warm otter]

Gl

And don’t forget

BIBLE AND PRAYERS

i was going to ask for pictures of that educational Bible you have but forgot it wouldn’t be in English heh

[manic jackal]

Oh yeah

[manic jackal]

Yeah haha

[warm otter]

OK I’m heading to bed

See you in three months probably

[manic jackal]

Okeyy goodnight!

[manic jackal]

😭🙏

[warm otter]

It’s a tradition at this point!!

[manic jackal]

Damn😔

[warm otter]

Nah I’ll try to remember

You can ping me too if i forget

[manic jackal]

Good

[manic jackal]

I tried but you ignored me🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

NOOOOO I HAD NO PINGS HERE

[manic jackal]

YOU DID WAIT

[warm otter]

THERE WAS NO RED THING

[manic jackal]

.

[warm otter]

Frick

Hmm

[manic jackal]

😭

[manic jackal]

Wait how do I open it, what do I say?

🧍‍♀️

[manic jackal]

.

[manic jackal]

AWHH

Good morning,
I was wondering if you're still open to ship these products to the Netherlands
Kind regards

I'd say that's pretty sweet

😃

Okey just sended the message

[warm otter]

:)

Sounds good

Sorry for missing your ping

But there’s your cat video

[manic jackal]

Even if it didn't it's a bit late😔

[manic jackal]

Weren't you going to sleep

[warm otter]

I am

Now

[manic jackal]

😭

Wow

[warm otter]

And i will try to be back in < 3 months

[manic jackal]

Bet

It's so funny that whenever I think 'mh when will he be back' you come in that week🙏

Wierd but funny

[warm otter]

You think about me only every three months?? D:

[warm otter]

I am sent from the Angels ofc

[manic jackal]

Nah mostly a bit more, but when I litarly think that you always come in that weel

[manic jackal]

😭🙏

[manic jackal]

That's so cute omg

Omg I might go to a concert of Melanie martinez 🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

Who

[manic jackal]

Nah that's crazy

😭🙏

A pretty popular artist

Who recently got canceled

But it's like the money I spend on the tickets won't go to her so it's fine

[warm otter]

I am pretty sure that is where the money goes

[manic jackal]

Nope, I will buy from resellers

[manic jackal]

So they're already bought and it goes to the person who bought em

[manic jackal]

Omg so freaking cuteew

Omg and I'm also about to buy two limited edition vinyls (they're way to expensive but it's like fine)

[warm otter]

Hmmmmm ok

But why go to their concert if you don’t like them

:b

[manic jackal]

I like their music like a lot

I won't support her in any way though (buying merch etc)

[warm otter]

Not a good investment thennn

[manic jackal]

It is though🙏

I've wanted it for months, and it's cheap if you compare it to the others that sell them

[warm otter]

Oh so the same eBay listing then

[manic jackal]

YESS

[manic jackal]

Normally it's 120 for the one one the left alone

[warm otter]

Ugh I’m out of cat videos on this phone D:

[manic jackal]

Make more😔

[warm otter]

Oh hey isn’t your psychologist thingy today

[manic jackal]

Tomorrow and I'm very anxious

[warm otter]

I will require catnip

[manic jackal]

Good

[warm otter]

Oh so you’re a coach now

[manic jackal]

Yeah!

[warm otter]

Do they pay you :b

[manic jackal]

Nope

I'm getting scammed

But it's fine, cuz it will distract me a bit more:)

[warm otter]

Yeah it will be good for you :)

[manic jackal]

Yess

[warm otter]

And experience is experience, if you want to be a paid coach down the line

[manic jackal]

Yeah exactly!

[warm otter]

I never turn down unpaid work if it’s something i can learn from

[manic jackal]

Honestly it would be a dream to turn my hobby into my job, sadly the field hockey world is way too small

[manic jackal]

I get that

[warm otter]

Wellllll you live in a country that i didn’t even know played hockey so

:D

[warm otter]

However

This means you get to monopolize it

Control all field high

Hockey

[manic jackal]

It's a pretty popular sport here

[manic jackal]

Probably won't be able to, I'm not getting recognized, and my parents don't have a 'status'

It's a dirty world tbh

[warm otter]

Wdym not getting recognized

[manic jackal]

I'm playing in the worst team atm🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

Right now

But after hs there’s different teams right?

[manic jackal]

Not rlly

You mostly stay in the same

[warm otter]

I mean, look at, ugh idk his name, I’ll look him up later. But college quarterback that nobody believed in him, he left the school twice to play elsewhere, came back only to have his position taken, eventually after 7 tryouts they switched back to him and then he helped the team win the championship

I’ll need to google his name

[warm otter]

After hs?

[manic jackal]

Yeah I kinda want to try try outs, but I preform so bad under presure

[manic jackal]

Hs?

[warm otter]

High school

[manic jackal]

We don't have school teams

So yes

[warm otter]

Then i go back to doubting this :b

[warm otter]

What do you have to lose?

[manic jackal]

Well I preform really bad under presure so il probably just fixk it up

[warm otter]

But what do you lose from trying

[manic jackal]

My aura😔✊️

[warm otter]

Buy more with ur vinyl

[manic jackal]

Cant😔

[warm otter]

lol i can’t post eBay links

[manic jackal]

😭

Damn

Just ss it

[warm otter]

These things

[manic jackal]

Damn they're cool

[warm otter]

Lmfao aura xD

Heading off to school

[manic jackal]

Goodluck

[manic jackal]

Just bought it, not gonna lie I'm kinda crying. I hate making big purchases, but yeah I've wanted this for the longest time

[manic jackal]

Feeling like ✨️shit✨️ because I'm anxious asf for tomorrow and just everything

I have homework but I mentally can't do it

[warm otter]

How was the praying and Bible reading today

[manic jackal]

Uhm

Well..

Yesterday I forgot🧍‍♀️

[manic jackal]

I just did it🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

Hmmm well how about today

[manic jackal]

Uhm il try to do it?

[warm otter]

Woooooooo

[warm otter]

:D

[manic jackal]

Yeah I wrote all shit awnsers but the teacher doesn't have to know

[warm otter]

Heh

Sooooooo r u excited

[manic jackal]

For what?

[warm otter]

For your psychologist

[manic jackal]

Psychologist?

No

Anxious I'm already shaking and it's in 6 hours

🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

Shakingggggggg what

[manic jackal]

My hands?

[warm otter]

Have someone shake u in the opposite direction

[manic jackal]

What else

[manic jackal]

😭🙏

Will do

[warm otter]

But no it’ll be good

[manic jackal]

I know but I'm still scared

[warm otter]

They’ll do their best to make you comfortable :)

[manic jackal]

I'm going to be venting to a person I don't even know

[manic jackal]

They should start that 2 days in advanced then🙏

[warm otter]

You don’t know me either!!

[manic jackal]

But that's different

You're just someone on the internet

This is someone I have to see once a week

[warm otter]

Me to because i hold your cat videos hostage

Too

[manic jackal]

Huh

[manic jackal]

Real😔

[warm otter]

But is it really?

[manic jackal]

Yes

Yes it is

And besides I hate being social irl, and what if I cry infront of her?

With being this anxious it's bound to happen

[warm otter]

You don’t have to hate being social irl

[manic jackal]

I do

I can't do it

[warm otter]

And what if you cry?

Why would that be bad

[manic jackal]

I got into a fight with my dad because he wanted me to be social with people🧍‍♀️ (yes I won)

[manic jackal]

Idk that's just wierd for a first time idk?

[warm otter]

She will have to get to know you eventually :)

[manic jackal]

Yeah but I don't want to

I can cry rn ngl

[warm otter]

And see you like that. Anyways i think someone accepting you if you cried might be a really good thing

Shows that you are able to be vulnerable

[manic jackal]

Yeah but I don't want to do so😔

It just happens I can never stop it😔

[warm otter]

Then don’t cry, skill issue :b

[manic jackal]

Ouch🧍‍♀️

I also have hockey practice tonight idk if il be able to handle that🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

About? / because?

[warm otter]

I bet you will :)

[manic jackal]

I'm just that anxious

[manic jackal]

We will see

[warm otter]

But what are you anxious about

[manic jackal]

Just the appointment I guess

I'm not sure what exactly

[warm otter]

Fresh cat picture as of rn

[manic jackal]

AWHHH

It's so cuteee

[warm otter]

Well what is the worst case scenario

[manic jackal]

That she tells me that I have to go to someone else, and that she tells my parents everything

🧍‍♀️

Last one is the worst thing

[warm otter]

It’s illegal for them to do that

The last one

[manic jackal]

Nope, they will send my parents an email with stuff we talked about, I'm honestly thinking about making her send it to me first so I can say if it's alright

(Will probably mostly be used for stuff on how to help me)

[warm otter]

If it help’s then ask :)

[manic jackal]

And it's not btw, they have to tell me if they tell anything to my parents, but most of the times they won't leave room for discussion

[warm otter]

What weird ass country do you live in lol

:D

[manic jackal]

Yeah

Tell Ms about it

[warm otter]

Ms.

[manic jackal]

Shush

[warm otter]

No

[manic jackal]

Yes

I'm so ready for another holiday

[warm otter]

The first one. It speaks for them not for you. It just says they’re too bad at their job to handle actual problems

[manic jackal]

Real

[warm otter]

Not anything about you

[warm otter]

No

[manic jackal]

Yes

[warm otter]

Shark week?

[manic jackal]

Anyways I'm getting worse again slay

[warm otter]

No

[manic jackal]

What🧍‍♀️ that sounds pretty amazing

[manic jackal]

Yes

[warm otter]

Wdym?

[warm otter]

DO YOU NOT HAVE THAT THERE

[manic jackal]

Mentally idk just thought about thay

[manic jackal]

WAIT YOU DO?!

[warm otter]

No

[warm otter]

Yes!

[manic jackal]

Mhhhh yea

[manic jackal]

I'm jealous

[warm otter]

Mmhhhhhhh no

[manic jackal]

Yes

[warm otter]

No

[manic jackal]

Yes

[warm otter]

No

[manic jackal]

Yes

[warm otter]

No

[manic jackal]

Yes

A little sign of God

[manic jackal]

Okey just had the appointment

And honestly

I love her she's amazing

We talked about everything that has happend and is happening rn. She's so sweet and understanding

And honestly I just felt very valid for the first time in like months

[warm otter]

No

[warm otter]

:))))))))))))

[manic jackal]

Uhm yes

[warm otter]

:))))))))))))

I’m glad you got a good one :D

[warm otter]

Uhm no

Well she sounds great :D when do you see her next??

[manic jackal]

I will see her next Wednesday again!

I also got her phone number for emergencies

[manic jackal]

Uhm yes

[warm otter]

Fresh new critter pics

[warm otter]

Uhm no

[manic jackal]

Awhhh

[manic jackal]

Uhm yea

[warm otter]

:D

Sooo looks like life is turning up, good new person to talk to, now a coach, less toxic people in your life

[warm otter]

Uhm no

[manic jackal]

Okey let's just slow down🧍‍♀️

I did decide with her that a side job will be a very bad idea for me at the moment

[manic jackal]

Yes

[warm otter]

Whattttttt

No

[manic jackal]

Let's just slow down with the 'life's turning upside down'

I gave my life a 5,5 (I was generous)

[warm otter]

I said STARTING :D

[manic jackal]

NO

[warm otter]

Seeeee u agree with me on the no

Glad we finally agree

[manic jackal]

You'd wish

[warm otter]

We are now fully in agreement

[manic jackal]

Sure🙏

[warm otter]

Seeeeee

[manic jackal]

I have hockey practice

And I don't want to

I just can't do it rn, I'm like crying every 5 minutes🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

Crying melts the ice

Creates strategic traps for your opponents

So did u do the practice

[manic jackal]

Yeah I did

[warm otter]

How was ittt

[manic jackal]

It was good!

[warm otter]

Wooooooo

[manic jackal]

A artist I just discovered and omg she's good asf, the lyrics the way she sings just everything

[warm otter]

They can do better than me
But then they’re buying me the Star Wars themed breakfast cereals :DD

[manic jackal]

What🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

What

They make the money they buy the breakfast cereal that comes with the toy

[manic jackal]

They make that?!

I'm missing out

[warm otter]

WHAT

YOU DON’T HAVE TOYS IN YOUR CEREAL

do they at least have cartoons on them or sport stars on the boxes

[manic jackal]

NO?!

[manic jackal]

Uhm not a lot, like not the popular ones

[warm otter]

We need to get you into another country at this point :b

[manic jackal]

No😔

[warm otter]

But they have cereal! With toys!

And free refills!

[manic jackal]

I'm good🙏

[warm otter]

Lmfao

What if i told you

We have

[manic jackal]

I'm listening

[warm otter]

I’m thinking lol

[manic jackal]

😭🙏

[warm otter]

Free chocolate milk at the cafeteria

[manic jackal]

Eh no thanks

[warm otter]

WHAT

[manic jackal]

You heard me

No thanks☺️

[warm otter]

chocolate milk was God’s greatest creation

Bruh this bot

I can’t post chocolate milk gifs

Just

Imagine chocolate milk

[manic jackal]

L

[manic jackal]

Hot or cold?

[warm otter]

COLD

[manic jackal]

nahh

[warm otter]

Banned from USA immigration services

[manic jackal]

Ypu guys just don't have taste

[warm otter]

That’s cause all the covid

[manic jackal]

😭🙏

[manic jackal]

Hello

I just ran 10 kilometer

I'm death

My freaking body hurts

But yeah

Imma cancel the hockey practice

[warm otter]

See look at me i didn’t forget

[warm otter]

o: 6 miles!!

I think that’s around my record

[warm otter]

Yeah very fair heh

Reason for the run?

[manic jackal]

👏👏

[manic jackal]

It was 'airborn run' I was running for a soldier

[warm otter]

:,) that’s so sweet that you guys are doing that

[manic jackal]

Yess, I nearly died though (it was absolutely worth it)

[warm otter]

I wish we had that over here

I’d do it

Wait why is it in English

[manic jackal]

Because a lot of people from Britain also ran! Since operation market garden was held by British people! So they're still proud of it and also ran:)

[warm otter]

O:

Very impressed and very glad to hear these things happening

[manic jackal]

AH A GIRL JUST LIKED TWO VIDEOS OF ME?!

(Tiktok)

[manic jackal]

Yess I loved it, I would definitely do it again

[warm otter]

Chinese spyware >:|

[manic jackal]

Idc they've known since 2018, nothing to save

[warm otter]

Your soul!!

[manic jackal]

Il let them take it🙏

[warm otter]

Chairman mao will be feasting

[manic jackal]

Who🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

Btw i took the chairman on his first walk last night

[manic jackal]

Who even is that🧍‍♀️

It sounds like a dog

BUT WHO CALLS A DOG 'chairman'

[warm otter]

But he WOULD NOT COME IN

CHAIRMAN MAO IS THE FOUNDER OF COMMUNIST CHINA

[manic jackal]

YOU TSKE THEM ON A FREAKING WALK?!

[warm otter]

he is the lenin of china

[manic jackal]

OMG A GIRL SEND ME A SNAP

Wait

[warm otter]

And i named my CAT after him not dog

[manic jackal]

OMG SHE SEND ME A VIDEO

[manic jackal]

WHO IS 'him'?

[warm otter]

.

[warm otter]

.

[manic jackal]

OHHH

Wait what

Huh

A dude was named chairmen

That's the saddest name in history

[warm otter]

It was his title lol

Mao zedong

Full name

[manic jackal]

Wow

[warm otter]

Of -_-

[manic jackal]

Just her saying that she's going to her aunts birthday and her curls where in her hair

NITHING WIERD

WLW

[manic jackal]

real

WOW WHAT THOUGH? WHAT DID YOU THINK?🤨

[warm otter]

I DON’T KNOW

[manic jackal]

YOU SURE?!

[warm otter]

yes

[manic jackal]

Mhmm

Whoops

A girl just comented

I'm getting some riz😔✊️

[warm otter]

Uh

What

[manic jackal]

Riz is like charisma

Or sun

Sum

And like wowies

[manic jackal]

OMG LIKE THIS ONE GIRL SHES SO SWEET (I'm just talking to one)

[warm otter]

And you wonder why

I’m skeptical

[manic jackal]

And someone on tiktok was like 'where are all the gays that wear baggy/grunge' so I said '🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️' and then someone commented

[manic jackal]

About?

🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

Sigh

[manic jackal]

Tell me

[warm otter]

So how was your Bible reading and prayers today

[manic jackal]

gay panick cuz off billie eilish calling the crowd a good girl

[manic jackal]

Very good

[manic jackal]

Sooo tell me

Omg I need cowboy shoes

Why are they so pretty but so expensive

[warm otter]

Orrr you can switch your thoughts to this fish

[warm otter]

Good!!

[manic jackal]

I love chocolate

Yum

[warm otter]

What were you reading about :D

[manic jackal]

Uhmmm

That one thing

🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

📖

[manic jackal]

Wait no I know this one

OH WAIT I REMEMBER

THAT WHEN THAT ONE DUDE GOT ALL THE ISRAEL PEOPLE OUT OF THAT ONE CITY

😔✊️

[manic jackal]

350 euros.....

[warm otter]

BRUH

[manic jackal]

Il just steal my moms

[manic jackal]

WHAT?!

[warm otter]

One dude

That one city

[manic jackal]

ITS DA TRUTH

Yes

🧍‍♀️

Like that one dude that turn that stick in a snake

[warm otter]

📖

[manic jackal]

Or was that a different story🧍‍♀️

No it wasnt

[warm otter]

Why did he turn the stick into a snake

[manic jackal]

I also still remember that one kid that was 'killed' by there brothers

[manic jackal]

To show that he had God with him

[warm otter]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

[manic jackal]

Yeahhhh

I do remember something✊️

[warm otter]

And why did they have to look at the snake

[manic jackal]

Uhm? To see that it's God🧍‍♀️

No

Wait

They where the snake🙏

Idk

[warm otter]

WHAT

[manic jackal]

Something like that

[manic jackal]

I'm going for this one

[manic jackal]

Like that one saying

Like

[warm otter]

w

[manic jackal]

You're a snake

Idk?

[warm otter]

hat

[warm otter]

NOT A SAYING

[manic jackal]

It is

Like

It is

[warm otter]

it was because the Israelites were being bitten by poisonous snakes

[manic jackal]

Oh

I was close

[warm otter]

And that’s what God told them to do to stop it

[warm otter]

Citation needed

Sooo

📖

I need to go shower before class so now you have a perfect chance to read!! :D

[manic jackal]

What

[manic jackal]

Uhm kinda not

[warm otter]

Yeah perfect time to do

Going byeeeee

[manic jackal]

Nah ah

[manic jackal]

Byeee

[warm otter]

Soo how was the Bible

[manic jackal]

Oh yeah

🧍‍♀️

Omg what I came here for though I GOT CONCERT TICKRTS TO MELANIE MARTINEZ

[warm otter]

And I’m getting concert tickets to reading your dissertation on a Bible chapter :)

[warm otter]

My cat’s happy place :))

Little fella loves weaseling under the blanket

[manic jackal]

My friend just got a boyfriend (I don't like him)

So it's time to stalk him🤗

I will also be one of the first people to meet him

The first thing he will hear is a threat🫡

We ofc gotta let him know not to hurt her

[manic jackal]

AWHHH

[manic jackal]

That's so cute

[manic jackal]

Okey well i kinda made the biggest ass mistake ever

i was in a gc just talking and i asked ''how do you know if someone liked you'' because someone was giving me mixed signals and i was confused

TURNS OUT THAT GIRL WAS IN THAT GC?!

she knew that it was about you and she just said ''hey i saw everything and its alright dont worry im sorry if i caused you stress, but i just came out a relation so im not ready for anything but youre really fun to talk to etc etc''

so like i still dont know?

but its a bit more clear

she still talked to me very surpising but she had just sned me some tiktoks

im tireddd

but too anxious about lifeeeee

omg wait okey

i have my therapy tomorrow

shit i need to talk about: panick attacks, will i tell school about therapy? anxious feeling, disositation or however you call it

wow i got blocked

i now cant say any cuss words

damn

[manic jackal]

also my bad sleep scedule because without it im even more tired for some reason?

i have a lot

wow

what are nonverbal attacks?

cuz

sometimes i just feel like i cant talk?

but i can but i just need someone to say like ''how are you'' and not ''are you alright?'' because then il just nod

its wierd

i dont think its non verbal

but oh well

[warm otter]

It’s good to hear you’re taking care of your friend by looking after her, but also remember to trust her autonomy and decision making :)

However ofc voice any concerns, but to have concerns you need to give him a chance

[warm otter]

How are you

[warm otter]

LMFAO OOOOO

it happens lol

She responded good :)) she was very direct saying that she is not after a relationship, and didn’t judge u for feeling that way

That’s good!!

( her feelings toward u don’t really matter, if she doesn’t want a relationship that’s all that matters )

[manic jackal]

Mhhh nah. He has to earn my trust

[manic jackal]

Yess I was really glad that it turned out this way haha

[manic jackal]

Cat