a journal of my life

[warm otter]

Get a pen and write one. You don’t have to give it to them

[manic jackal]

and what should i write??

[warm otter]

What do you want them to know? What do you want to happen?

[manic jackal]

very good question

i want to get help?

[warm otter]

Okay so that is a great start :)

And how would you like to tell them that

[manic jackal]

uhmmm

didnt think about that yet

[warm otter]

:b

Well think about it

[manic jackal]

maybe

[warm otter]

( but don’t overthink )

[manic jackal]

(to late)

[warm otter]

It honestly doesn’t need to be complicated

[manic jackal]

il see

[warm otter]

Hey dad, things have been a bit rough for me, and I think I’d reallllllly benefit from a therapist

From school and friends and media to the boyfriend you probably don’t know about

[manic jackal]

he knows

[warm otter]

And panic attacks

Lol

[manic jackal]

(about my boyfriend)

(not the rest )

[warm otter]

How much does he know about him

[manic jackal]

yeahhh he doesnt think that it are panick attacks though

[manic jackal]

the basics

but not the suicide etc

[warm otter]

It’s a long distance relationship right

[manic jackal]

yep

[warm otter]

Ugh even worse lol

[manic jackal]

yep

[warm otter]

So what would you do different from my example note

[manic jackal]

uhmm no idea?

im very bad at expressing feelings especially towards people

[warm otter]

How about this

Grab a pen, start with hey dad/mom, and see what happens

[manic jackal]

yeah i might do that

[warm otter]

Cat video in it for ya :)

[manic jackal]

i have youtube for that (and my own cat)

[warm otter]

Yes but mine are better (than youtubes)

Creme of the crop cat videos

Okok grab ur pen

[manic jackal]

not now😔

[warm otter]

Y

[manic jackal]

y?

[warm otter]

*why

Why not now

[manic jackal]

because i have 0 energy, and il probably go to bed soon either way

[warm otter]

Rrrrr

[manic jackal]

dinosaur?

[warm otter]

Yes but don’t tell anyone or they’ll steal my dna

[manic jackal]

maybe

[warm otter]

D:

[manic jackal]

im bored

why cant i send my gif

[warm otter]

Hmmmmm

I have an activity for you

First step is grab a pen

[manic jackal]

no:(

your no fun:(

[warm otter]

Heh

I could have said draw butterflies!!

You’ll never know until you grab a pen

[manic jackal]

yeah yeah

[warm otter]

Well too bad you will never know

[manic jackal]

okey:)

any plans for tomorrow?

[warm otter]

Yes

Bully you into writing a note

[manic jackal]

ugh😔

[warm otter]

😁

But also seeing a friend tomorrow

[manic jackal]

oehh nicee, have fun!

[warm otter]

We’re gonna collect cicadas for a prank

[manic jackal]

oehhh

wait wtf

[warm otter]

xD

[manic jackal]

why-

[warm otter]

Because funny

[manic jackal]

WHY THOSE THINGS?!

they look terifying

[warm otter]

Gonna load like a ton of cicadas

Into anothet friends car

[manic jackal]

A CAR?!

[warm otter]

They’re honestly super chill and docile

[manic jackal]

nahhh

i feel bad for that friend

[warm otter]

Like when i bike they’ll fly right into me and land on my shirt or pants. And slowly climb their way up me

[manic jackal]

eww

[warm otter]

Until they’re like perched on my hair

There’s so many of them it’s like you cant avoud it

[manic jackal]

....

[warm otter]

Every tree has a pile of cicada shells under it

They’re so loud if causes ear pain when i go outside

[manic jackal]

wtf

[warm otter]

It’ll be a fun scavenger hunt for him

[manic jackal]

your cruel

[warm otter]

Guilty

Cmonnn it’ll be funny

[manic jackal]

true

[warm otter]

:D

[warm otter]

So how’s your note coming along

[manic jackal]

Very food

Good

Although food is also good

[warm otter]

😃 woooooooo

!!!

[manic jackal]

(I didn't even start)

I forgot about it😭

[warm otter]

D: so u got a cat video for nothing

Tsk tsk

🖊

[manic jackal]

AHHH CAT

KITTIE CAT

[manic jackal]

No😔

I have better things to do🥰

[warm otter]

Like?

[manic jackal]

Working in my magazine

Reading books

Cleaning my room

C.ai

Listening to music

Calling with my friend

Uhmmmm

Walking

Run

[warm otter]

You’re avoiding the problem :b

[manic jackal]

I would never

[warm otter]

Those are good things but you also need to have this conversation or hand them a note

[manic jackal]

But like

What if I heal by myself

(It's been nearly a year🥰)

[warm otter]

You can do it without the help of a therapist. But they’re realllllly helpful.

Plus. With what i know about the people in your life. Well you won’t heal until you replace them

[manic jackal]

Damn wierd attack on my friends😭

Way to go

[warm otter]

Less your friends

I know little about your friends (other than the one you complain a lot about)

[manic jackal]

My mom is shouting at my sister🧍‍♀️

[manic jackal]

(I dropped her🥰)

[warm otter]

That is good :)

[manic jackal]

Yess

[warm otter]

Very

I think you can do it but I’m concerned when you make progress the unhealthfulness of your relationship will want to pull you back down

[manic jackal]

My mom decided to just speak German to my sister (she's 8 and she only speaks dutch)

OH FRENCH NOW

[manic jackal]

We will see

[warm otter]

Well what is your plan to heal then

[manic jackal]

You need a plan?

🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

Lol

You need to take some actions :b

[manic jackal]

I just heal🤓☝️

[manic jackal]

Nahh

[warm otter]

Source?

[manic jackal]

Myself🥰

[warm otter]

Soooo you’ve just healed, how many times now? :b

[manic jackal]

Once🤗

(The way I've been fr feeling better since it's been hot af)

It was just winter depression😌

[warm otter]

Oh you

Look one conversation/note and you get therapy.. do you think it’s worth it?

[manic jackal]

Maybe??

OH YWAH HOW IS IT GOING WITH THOSE CREPPY THINGS?

[warm otter]

Hm

What would you like your life to look like

In 5 years time

[manic jackal]

Uhmmm

Idk?

Il be... uhmmm 19 years old

I want to have my own little apartment, and study at the police school

[warm otter]

Very good goals :)

I keep forgetting how young you are sheesh

[manic jackal]

😭

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

[warm otter]

Brooooo I’m 150% your age wtf

[manic jackal]

(So wierd how people always think that I'm older)

[manic jackal]

How where the dinosaurs?

Wait what your in your 30is???

[warm otter]

Bad in the part that you’re dealing with some more adult problems

No 21 lol

7,14,21

[manic jackal]

OH WAIT I CSNT DO MATH

[warm otter]

Lol

[manic jackal]

My math is very good

[manic jackal]

Oh🧍‍♀️

[warm otter]

1.5 * 14 = 21

[manic jackal]

Huh

Now I don't get it anymore

[warm otter]

Heh

[manic jackal]

Oh yeah I got an 98% on my last math test (don't ask how I have no idea)

[manic jackal]

Wait what are adult problems....

[warm otter]

Great man me and ricky the raptor were tight

[warm otter]

Wooooo grats :D

[manic jackal]

That's good to hear

[manic jackal]

Thank you!

[warm otter]

Well you’re caring for a manchild lol

[manic jackal]

That's not normal human behaviour?

[warm otter]

His? Not in the slightest

[manic jackal]

Oh🧍‍♀️

Thought that was just normal

[warm otter]

He is basically throwing all his problems at you spending no energy of his own, getting you to spend energy on them for him

[manic jackal]

🤗

[warm otter]

There is a real reason this entire discord really thinks you should break up

[manic jackal]

(Not really anymore)

[manic jackal]

😔

[warm otter]

Part of it is many were in your shoes once

[warm otter]

What isn’t anymore

[manic jackal]

That I get his problems

[warm otter]

Is he spending his energy on them?

[manic jackal]

Yeah

[warm otter]

Or is he just suffering at the expense of you both

[manic jackal]

Not that I know

[warm otter]

Still

[warm otter]

His is not lol

[manic jackal]

Oh well🙃

[warm otter]

Sigh

Aight i gtg

Try to get some work done on that note yea?

[manic jackal]

Goodluck catching those bugs:)

[warm otter]

Heh tyvm :D

[manic jackal]

Idk we'll see

[warm otter]

So

What do we see then

[manic jackal]

Absolutely nothing

My friend had send me a message saying 'Love u' at midnight and now I'm scared

[manic jackal]

i have been more productive then ever omg

i just finished my part of the magazine, i cleaned my room, im finnishing up a discord server

im going to call with my friend after some time

(all while billie was playing in the background ofc)

[manic jackal]

i just did my makeup and outfit check for tomorrow (the eras tour) and im loving it

i have blue little stars on all my scars

[manic jackal]

it is qurently

how tf do you spell that

the time now is 01:13 am

and i cant sleep because im to exited

so im watching billie interviews

someone needs to stop me

okey i got a little overwhelmed

so now im resorting to books

okey

uhmmm

maybe also not a book....

note to future self, wattpad books are bad

wtf-

[manic jackal]

I finally slept at 2:22

[manic jackal]

In 6 minutes we arrive at the stadium, I'm so exited it's not okey

[warm otter]

so how was ur concertt

[warm otter]

was everything alright

[warm otter]

:D that is great!!

[warm otter]

eras

xD

[warm otter]

merican

that reminds me, you still doing well on quitting making more scars?

[warm otter]

currently ^^

[warm otter]

🛑

[manic jackal]

It just finished and it was amazing

[manic jackal]

😭

(But yes)

[manic jackal]

Close enough

[warm otter]

woo

[warm otter]

I am glad to hear :) sorry for the phrasing i was about to leave somewhere and that's the first phrasing that came to mind heh

i could have done better

[manic jackal]

nah dont worry, i chuckled haha

[warm otter]

woo

[manic jackal]

just finnished the magazine edition#3 completely!

[warm otter]

soooooo now you have the time to write that note!!!!

[manic jackal]

in about 8 minutes we will bring it out:) (exactly 00:00 in my time zone)

[manic jackal]

nooo

because now i have to make edition 3

and i need to learn how to program a bot

and learn proper dutch

[warm otter]

what bot?

a discord bot?

ive done one or two

[manic jackal]

yeah!

i want to learn how to do that for my servers:)

curently working on a Billie Eilish 8D playlist on soundcloud (i have 22 songs so far, the other playlists have 7-8)

and also all her unrealesed songs!

''do you hate advertisments?'' yes.

[warm otter]

what do u need the bot to do?

oooo ur thing is out now

[manic jackal]

a lot of stuff haha

[warm otter]

like? :D

[manic jackal]

we have a shit ton of bots (around 8 rn)

[manic jackal]

make embads, anounce birthdays, automaticly sends tiktoks, make reaction rols, makes questions for truth or dare, a lot of stuff that the carl bot does

[warm otter]

yeah i was gonna say just use carl lol

you can even give carl a custom name and pfp

[warm otter]

you have more bots than my discord has people xD

i think carl can even do the 'truth or dare' thing

[manic jackal]

yeah i know!

[manic jackal]

as far as i know not

[manic jackal]

yeah😭 thats why i want to program one bot that does it all

just finnished the 8D playlist it has curently 24 songs

im sure that i can also make them myself, so that will go on my list of shit i have to do in my school break

now im working on the unrealeased stuff:)

[manic jackal]

also decided to make a playlist for covers that billie did

and then later probably also sped up songs

then also the isolated vocals

and then i probably have every genre

[manic jackal]

another sleeplesss nigt

night

great

its curently 3:30 am

[manic jackal]

im finally getting sleeping (4 am)

its getting light outside already

omg

[manic jackal]

feeling like shit again, not really a specific reason why honestly

[manic jackal]

i just broke up with my bf

[manic jackal]

overall still feeling pretty good

he is probably ignoring me again (which proves to me again why i broke up)

[warm otter]

well, you still don't need to :P

if you code a bot you need a server to run your bot on, so at that point just run the code from the 8 bots you're using, and run them all connected to one bot account. so all 8 bots are in one bot. and you can comment out the parts of the bots you don't want too!

unless you've been wanting to learn programming, and want to use this as an excuse to finally start learning/practicing, which by then all means go for it!! It would be a good introductory project as any :D

[warm otter]

honestly tho carl has the best name and pfp around who could ever change it

[manic jackal]

i might do that, il see how to do that then

[warm otter]

and i def think there's a bot out there to do truth or dare

[manic jackal]

yeah we have one right now!

[warm otter]

want to talk about it?

[manic jackal]

eh i personally didnt really like it

[manic jackal]

not much to talk about tbh

he proved my point on why i did this though
(he just awnserd ''okay'')

like okey, i now also know my place from the last 4 months i poured my heart onto you

[manic jackal]

yeah its to complicated for me, it has to many stuff so i can never find what i want. and once i find it it asks for some code which i also dont understand

[warm otter]

yeah, he spent 0 energy onto his own life and wellbeing, just used yours.. people who can't spend an ounce of energy onto themselves cannot possibly appreciate the loads you probably gave vim

him

( or a gram instead of an ounce, u commie europeans might not know the glorious unit the ounce )

[manic jackal]

eh, i also didnt take energy for myself for a long time in the relation ngl. but i still gave my best to him yk. but he isnt even trying

[warm otter]

he is not

if he ever appreciated you, he would have bettered himself to make you happy

be the best person he could be for his gf at the time

[manic jackal]

(wtf is a kilometer🦅 🦅 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🦅 🇺🇸 )

[warm otter]

REAL

[manic jackal]

yeah well he didnt, but its fine ig

still hurted for some reason

im a little conflicted with myself

[warm otter]

it always sucks to lose something when you poured so much energy into it :p

[manic jackal]

because on one hand i feel pretty good, but on the other i feel like breaking down at any point

[manic jackal]

yeah

[warm otter]

iirc was called the sunk cost fallacy? the more energy/time/etc you pour into something the more you want it to work out

why so?

[manic jackal]

yeah

[manic jackal]

wdym

[warm otter]

oh wait i just saw where you said why lol

[manic jackal]

oh oke haha

[warm otter]

well what makes you feel like breaking down?

that's the conflict?

[manic jackal]

well i still lost something yk, and him being so cold makes it worse. like did he never really care for me? i also kinda believe that he fully love bombed me yk

[manic jackal]

yeah

[warm otter]

so this is a good thing in diisguise

the worse it hurts in the present, the harder it is, makes it EASIER in the long term

so yeah him being so cold probably makes you feel terrible and a bunch of other things rn. but

it will make it so much easier to move on

[manic jackal]

yeah i know

still sucks

but yeah

[warm otter]

it sucks rn, but won't soon :)

[manic jackal]

yeah i know

[warm otter]

better than it sucking now AND soon :b

[manic jackal]

istg i most definitely found my best friend again though

(i already knew but she proved herself again)

i messaged her that i broke up, and 5 seconds later she said ''wanna call?''

[warm otter]

congrats tho.. I know it must have been suuuuuper tough for you. but it was the right decision

[manic jackal]

(we called for more then 3 hours)

[warm otter]

( source: literally everyone )

[manic jackal]

yeah it was a little impulsive of me when i did it but just something in me snapped

[warm otter]

aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[manic jackal]

(fr everybody was like ''thank God'' and like ''FINALLY'')

like wow

[manic jackal]

yesss

[warm otter]

:D

[manic jackal]

anyways

[warm otter]

told u heh

[warm otter]

well good, ur standing up for urself

[manic jackal]

im now expierncing (stupid english) a new identity crisis

[manic jackal]

yeah!

[warm otter]

ur learning to respect, value, and love yourself

that you deserve a set of standards!!

and if you're not getting them, to do something about it

soooo a great lesson :D

[warm otter]

why so

[manic jackal]

because what if im a lesbian

or pan

definitely not straight

but maybe pan

because some gender fluid people are great

but also kinda nah

[warm otter]

man my gaydar is on POINT

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA

people always guess that of me

[warm otter]

but I can say you definitely also are not a lesbian either

[manic jackal]

damn

but idk

because like

women~

[warm otter]

you had no good romantic experiences with men

[manic jackal]

real

[warm otter]

( source, you tolerating this last bf )

[manic jackal]

but like pintrest guys~

[manic jackal]

(im just a patient human)

[warm otter]

WTF IS A PINTEREST 🦅

[manic jackal]

(absolutely not my last guy best friend blamed me for shit, and when HE broke of the friendship because i asked what was up, he was the victim and my parents still blame me for it. and they wouldnt even hear my side)

[manic jackal]

omg im about to open up a world for you

omg wait

if you have a gaydar~

i knew it

[warm otter]

wait how did ur parents know him

[manic jackal]

nvm pintrest guys are ugly

BUT HANDSA

ONG

[warm otter]

also yeah that explains the recent 'identity crisis' lol

there are good men out there in the world

that you can be happy with

[manic jackal]

because we went to the same school had playdates, sleepovers etc

[warm otter]

I AM NOT GAY

[manic jackal]

sure, but like women

[warm otter]

straight male

[manic jackal]

then you dont have a gaydar

(this is also how i found out my friend was gay)

okey im just wierdly attrected to boys with a guitar and good looking hands

[warm otter]

lol none of my female friends parents would EVER allow a sleepover xD

[manic jackal]

LIKE LOOK

[warm otter]

heck neither did any of my GFs parents

[manic jackal]

yeah, they knew the guy and i was 11-12 at that time😭

yep no lesbian

[warm otter]

im not saying you can't be happy with a woman either but in my wisdom of age, I think it also could be more of a phase lol

[manic jackal]

on my knees

[warm otter]

i am straight and have an on point gaydar

[manic jackal]

ive kinda always like women😭

[warm otter]

is this how easy it is to impress a woman -.-

[manic jackal]

mhmm the closet is made off glass, and its so clean that you dont even see it~

[manic jackal]

yes 100% procent

send this

and im in love

there is nothing better

OMG OR THOSE HOT POSES WITH JUST LEGS

i dont want faces

they ruin it

with women it makes it better

like just hands? yes
with the face? no

[warm otter]

liking does not equal would be happy in a relationship with (again not saying you can't be, just saying I've seen it happen to many a female friends)

[warm otter]

no because im a bass player and guitar bad mkay

[warm otter]

i dont know what you mean and no do not send an example

[manic jackal]

i know, but i like love women idk. i just yes. just yes

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA NO ITS A GOOD PICTURE WAIT IMMA FIND IT DW

[manic jackal]

wdym?

[warm otter]

no

bad

[manic jackal]

nvm pintrest doesnt have anything good

i want a tattoo

[manic jackal]

pintrest only shows women bare legs

[warm otter]

xD bass is a string instrument and bass is famous for being the least attractive instrument to play in a band

[manic jackal]

AND WITH MEN THEIR FULLY CLOTHED?~!

tf

[manic jackal]

i know what i bass is😭 and them they are lying then

anything thats related to a guitar is amazing

[warm otter]

of

[manic jackal]

multiple things, i want flowers of some family members in a vase. and ''i was made for you'' in Billie her handwriting on my iner arm

[warm otter]

only one i can find

NO DYNO BLOCKED MY MEME

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA

send in my dms or something😭

[warm otter]

ehhhhhhh not over here :P

[manic jackal]

damn (americans just suck)

EXCEPT FOR BILLIE EILISH🛐

[warm otter]

besides not me not playing my bass in like 4 years ( i switched to harmonica )

[manic jackal]

bro downgraded bad💀

[warm otter]

lol I would not feel comfortable ever DMing a 14yo girl sorry

[warm otter]

HARMONICA IS THE BEST

[manic jackal]

i get it haha dont worry

[manic jackal]

HOW?!

[warm otter]

i can always have it in my pocket and start blasting some blues

it's portable

[manic jackal]

😭

[warm otter]

nobody carring a bass with them in case they get bored on the train

[manic jackal]

true

but a harmonica

really?😭

random gay panick break

[warm otter]

im struggling to comprehend this sentence lol

[manic jackal]

wait imma just send a ss of it im sure il find it

this and then with flowers that my family members drew

and this, its in Billie her handwriting

[warm otter]

the one true instrument

[manic jackal]

i also want more piercings but im not allowed because il look like a gangsta (il just be to cool for my parents i get it)

[warm otter]

OHHHH SO THEY DRAW THE FLOWES THATS COOL AS HECK

i hate tattoos

but this

[manic jackal]

IKR

[warm otter]

i hate slightly less

[manic jackal]

damn

[manic jackal]

good?

[warm otter]

less

[manic jackal]

good enough

[manic jackal]

i so need this

omg

billie has saved my life so many times its not okey

[warm otter]

lol no

[manic jackal]

lol yes😔

[warm otter]

no

[manic jackal]

LOOK HOW AMAZING

[manic jackal]

yes

[warm otter]

i mean sure if you want to look like a medieval elf thats been trapped in a cave for 300 years and is about to commit war against asgard

[manic jackal]

jees why the hate, your boring😔

[warm otter]

I think God made everyone in His image, by design, and we all look Godly out of the box and we should happy being who we were made to be

hence why i dont like tattoos or piercings

[manic jackal]

okey i get that

i so need to pick up my bible again

i was honestly so consistent at some point

i felt so good in those 2 weeks

and then i completely stopped💀

[warm otter]

oh heh i completely forgot the cross by your name

[manic jackal]

damn haha

i nearly removed it

[warm otter]

you left the Christian discord we both shared.... tsk tsk

[manic jackal]

i feel wrong having it there when i dont do anything for the religion

[warm otter]

i so get that

[manic jackal]

yeah wasnt active at all so i saw no use in it haha

[warm otter]

but removing it is not the right action, getting closer to God is :D

[manic jackal]

i know i know

but ive been finding it hard tbh

and everytime i get close i draw back and i get serperated again

and its stupid

[warm otter]

you have one nearby?

[manic jackal]

but yeah i def should pick it up

[manic jackal]

yep its like 50 cm away from me

i bought like one and it still has prayers in it

its so cute

like it has prayers from the last owners

[warm otter]

im rarely there because its too crowded and active but i do actually like that place :D

[manic jackal]

i got at exodus 16:1

[manic jackal]

yeah i get that

[warm otter]

AWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[manic jackal]

I KNOW RIGHT

the women at the checkout legit asked me ''do you want to keep those?'' LIKE UHH YEAH?! DUH

[warm otter]

why so?

[manic jackal]

because i loose motivation, or i have something to do on that day so i cant read and that throws it off my scedule

[warm otter]

what time do you usually read

[manic jackal]

and the way that i used to like read it gave me a lot of peace, but i have to be sneaky since my parents dont believe and stuff

[manic jackal]

i did it once i got out of school so like 14-16 pm

[warm otter]

wait s they don't believe????? and, you have to be SNEAKY about it!!!!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

[manic jackal]

well idk, its like they have been making fun of it a lot, they know that i have a rosemary and a bible though. but they probably dont know that i like fully believe and stuff

[warm otter]

hmmmmmmm well i think its not that time over there rn lol butttt maybe give it a read rn

[manic jackal]

yeah maybe i should

[warm otter]

wow ok your parents lose points

[manic jackal]

yep

[warm otter]

remove the maybe :P

[manic jackal]

and honestly something that also seperates me a lot is the issues

with the way i think

like im gay myself, so its like hard for some reason

[warm otter]

anything else besides being 'gay'?

[manic jackal]

yeah probably idk them anymore though

[warm otter]

also, homosexuality gets a harder rep than it needs in Christianity. the sins of sodom and gomorrah were not homosexuality, they were things like pride, putting the self above others, and being unkind to neighbors

there's little explicitly stated in the Bible about homosexuality

I do not believe it is the be all end all... God loves you, he always has, he always will.

[manic jackal]

yeah ive seen some other things breaking down that it wasnt about homosexuallity. like God was talking about a pedophile when he said ''men and men should not lie in one bed'' or something like that what he probably meant was ''men and a boy should not lie in one bed''

[warm otter]

does that mean it is something to pursue or not purse? (relatinships w women) well idk, I personally believe it is probably less than great, but I don't think someone will go to hell just for being in a homo relationship

[manic jackal]

but its just socially not that accepted to be gay and e Catholic or anything

[manic jackal]

yeah

ever felt that fear ''what if i believe in the wrong God?'' idk why but i def do not believe in another God but sometimes im like ''what if i believe in the wrong one''

[warm otter]

idk, it is possible, but also this is one of the spots where I do think yes homosexuality was mentioned in the Bible

[warm otter]

well if you think this

[manic jackal]

yeah i get it, but its also like. there are so many copies hand written by nuns there are probably so many mistakes

[warm otter]

study other religions. I have. maybe too much, I've read a scary amout on the Quran lol. (just to win arguments against muslims lmfao)

and i have concluded from all my research

the only true religion is Christianity

[manic jackal]

yeah mabye i should

i dont think that il ever believe in another religion though, ive done some study before

but we'll see

[warm otter]

i mean if you do then I think you'll quickly see our God is the only one

[manic jackal]

why is religion so hard, why cant we just have one religion😔

[warm otter]

buddha was a very wise man, I can see why people follow him, but buddhism is just hindu theology but with some morality sprinkled in change my mind

[manic jackal]

yeah i also know so, but i guess its just a fear il always kinda have

[warm otter]

we do lol

[manic jackal]

not really, you have muslims christianity buddism and so much more

its crazy ngl

and then once you know your a christian YOU HAVE ANOTHER 50 THINGS TO CHOOSE FROM?!

exuse me

what happend to just the bible

[warm otter]

well the 'god' of islam also said men can have 4 wives, marry children, and have sex with as many slaves as you want, non muslims have no rights whatsoever, no non muslim goes to heaven, even good muslims only have a chance at heaven, the only way to go to heaven guaranteed is die fighting in a war for islam

it also started as him taking the bible, tearing pages out, and adding in pages saying he's allowed to do what he wants to do

[manic jackal]

yeah one of the many reasons why i know allah isnt real for me

[manic jackal]

damn

[warm otter]

islam also had only 100 followers after the first 13 years, it didn't gain traction until he became a general and lead forced conversions

and when he also retconed like 80% of the original koran

[manic jackal]

damn

dont worry though it isnt something il believe

[warm otter]

how about this

[manic jackal]

like i know that God is there and God is God because i felt it

but like

its scary

nice try

[warm otter]

ughhhhhh DYNO

[manic jackal]

send it in parts, il copy paste them together

[warm otter]

anyways google 'clear quran' for a good english translation.
read surah 1. this was written in the first 13 years.
then read surah 9. this was one of the last written. experience how literally every positive or neutral thing towards non muslims has been literally changed. instead of "good muslims Christians and jews go to heaven" like in sura 1 he writes "yeah only muslims go to heaven and only like 20% of good muslims go to heaven lol"

"yeah don't be tolerant just kill them on the spot"

"oh yeah lying is ok just lie"

[manic jackal]

oh wow

thats-

[warm otter]

VERY

non Christians believe people are religious for comfort

but no. anything but the truth. it is, scary at first, knowing you will be judged for every action you ever took. that people will eventually see the truth behind every lie. that becoming Christian leads to more struggling on earth

[manic jackal]

you know what feels so wrong that i can never not do it?
writing God without the G i never write in capital letters unless its for a important e-mail or my magazine. but i can never write God without the G

[manic jackal]

so true, like it adds a layer of comfort, but its also so scary😭

[warm otter]

yeah i always try to also

also i can't write Him with a lowercase letter

[manic jackal]

i never wrote that in a capital letter

is that also something i should do?

[warm otter]

well it's what english speakers do lol there's no rules for this

[manic jackal]

ohh like that

you guys also write I in a capital

thats so wierd

[warm otter]

in the hebrew Bible they eventually censored God's name from it out of paranoia, they had is name be YHWH in there but when spoken they spoke it "Jehova" instead of "Yahweh"

so fun fact when you see Lord in the Old Testament it was the hebrew word Adonai for 'lord', but when you see LORD in the OT it was YWHW in the original text

they translated both as Lord but had one in all caps to signify the difference lol

[manic jackal]

ohhh

[warm otter]

no in english you don't capitalize "him", but religious people capitalize it when referring to God

[manic jackal]

OHHHH

now i get it

[warm otter]

:D

[warm otter]

yeahhhhh lol but that's not something you need to concern yourself with in the early stages

ok so

u go on

read ur Bible

even if for 5 mins

do it

[manic jackal]

true, but still confusing

[manic jackal]

okey:)

[warm otter]

reading for 5 mins is great because its so easy to do but it builds the habit of doing it

and because when you're into it you wont stop after 5 minutes even if the plan was only 5 lol

okay so Exodus you said, better read I'll be quizzing u

[manic jackal]

oh oh, i just finnished it:)

its been a while since i read the first part though

let me scan through real quick

[warm otter]

:D

lol dw im not quizzing u (today)

[manic jackal]

you know whats cute? the first owners marked some of the rules

idk why but i just melted when i saw that

im curently also marking all the things i need to remember and it just adds way more to it

[manic jackal]

great:)

[warm otter]

i would too oml

i would just imagine a sweet old elderly couple

[warm otter]

:DDDD

if my phone was alive you'd get a cat vid

[manic jackal]

i think i now remember most part of exodus again (huge green flag of going to a cristian school)

[warm otter]

hmmmm i could do cat vid every day you read but then I would eventually run out lol

[manic jackal]

nahh, its a children bible, you can also see that in the prayers its so cute

[manic jackal]

sounds like you should just make more video's then:)

[warm otter]

AWEEEEEEEE THAT MAKES IT SOMEHOW EVEN CUTER

[manic jackal]

FOR REALL

i just found the names of the people

[warm otter]

you drive a hard bargain

deal

[manic jackal]

oke so or its a really big family

or its from a school

[manic jackal]

great

i also have like more then a 100 copies of the same coler page (its noah his arch)

idk why they put it in there, but im about to coller them all in

[warm otter]

lol sounds like a school

so great

[manic jackal]

ikr

[warm otter]

FINISHING GOD'S WORK

[manic jackal]

im about to cry, its so cute

[manic jackal]

YEAHHH

[warm otter]

:D

[manic jackal]

one is praying for the pastor its so cute

[warm otter]

you better show us all your expert coloring skills

[manic jackal]

totally ill send like 100 drawings

[warm otter]

that would literally bring me to tears

[manic jackal]

im legit nearly crying

[warm otter]

i could not read that without crying

WHERE DO I GET ONE

[manic jackal]

oke im now crying
''dear jesus
we're also praying for my sick grandma (a lot of other dutch words)''

[manic jackal]

AT THE CHURCH BOOK THING

[warm otter]

WHAT IS A CHURCH BOOK THING

[manic jackal]

LIKE BOOK MARKT BUT IN A CHURCH

OR JUST SECOND HANDS BIBLE'S

[warm otter]

maybe i can just start collecting used Bibles

[manic jackal]

awhh this one kid just prayed for elephants

its so cute

[warm otter]

LMFAOOOOOOOOOO

[manic jackal]

NOO ITS SO CUTE HAHA

[warm otter]

IKKKKKK

this thing is like a history piece

[manic jackal]

HE WAS LIKE
;''dear Jesus
please a=make sure that not all elephants are shot death''

[warm otter]

hopefully this Bible is passed down for hundreds of years

[manic jackal]

etc etc

[manic jackal]

i really hope so

[manic jackal]

frr

[warm otter]

shoots all the elephants

sorry kid

[manic jackal]

BHAHHA

NAHHH

they all say
''let us pray'' at the end

idk why

i say ''lord bless this prayer amen''

nvm huh

i just forgot how to pray

[warm otter]

i dont know how to pray 💀

[manic jackal]

in the name of the lord amen

[warm otter]

atheist parents + public school

[manic jackal]

real, i just yap some stuff

and then im like ''in the name of the lord amen''

im sure he'll get what we mean

wait
i ask you in Jesus's name amen

THATS HOW I PRAY

THATS HOW I END IT

wow

this proves that i also should pick up on that again

[warm otter]

u should :)

[manic jackal]

yeahh

oh- its nearly 5 am again

[warm otter]

time to pray then :D

[manic jackal]

why's that..

im not going to sleep yet

im a little hyper

[warm otter]

-.-

oh u

[manic jackal]

what...

[warm otter]

sleeeeeep

[manic jackal]

what did i do

[manic jackal]

nooo

il sleep later

(my poor friend is rn suffering of me yapping to him about litarly nothing) but hey he signed up for it

[warm otter]

🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑 🐑

count dem sheeps

[manic jackal]

hey sheep

[manic jackal]

27 on the first row

25 on second

[warm otter]

this shoul dmake u tired

is it working

[manic jackal]

26 on third

17 on fourth

52 on first 2

43 on last 2

95 in total @warm otter

[manic jackal]

not really

[warm otter]

YOU MISSED LARRY

LARRY THE SHEEP

[manic jackal]

WHAT?!

[warm otter]

HOW DARE YOU

[manic jackal]

OMG NO

I DIDNT

[warm otter]

🐑 <- larry being forgotten about

[manic jackal]

😔

sorry larry

[warm otter]

lol jk larry is joking with you

he was hiding behing another sheep

[manic jackal]

oh wow great

[warm otter]

xDDD

[manic jackal]

shouldve used this

im hungry

[warm otter]

lol

what is there to eat

[manic jackal]

air

i really should make a stash of food

[warm otter]

get a barrel

put it in your room

fill it with beans

and then just make some as needed

like the amish do

[manic jackal]

oh yeah because i have a stove in my room

[warm otter]

yeah get one of those too

necessary in every bedroom

[manic jackal]

you paying?

[manic jackal]

real

[warm otter]

if you're cooking

( for both of us )

[manic jackal]

i still need to buy one so i can bring it to school

[manic jackal]

deal

[manic jackal]

(i love cooking so i dont mind)

[warm otter]

good bcz i like eating

[manic jackal]

its still wierd to think that people are intrested in my life

[manic jackal]

samee

[warm otter]

honestly tho a little toaster oven or butane stove is like $20

or even a hot plate

[manic jackal]

thats not to bad

but i curently have like 5 dollers on my name

so

SOPHIE

[manic jackal]

OMG HEYYY

HOW ARE YOU?

[warm otter]

she ditched the dead weight

( her bf )

[manic jackal]

IM GREATTT

HRU

look now i can definitely not sleep

[manic jackal]

W

[manic jackal]

THATS SO AMAZING

[manic jackal]

I AM ALSO GREAT

A LITTLY HYPER

A LITTLE YEPPER

YAPPER

AND

🤞🤞🤞

SLEEPY

[manic jackal]

omg-

its so funny how litarly everybody hates my now ex

ieuw that sounds so wierd

ex

i have a ex

''oh and how was he?''

pretty much nothing, some strangers showed more intrest in me then him

[warm otter]

insert the always have astronaut meme

[manic jackal]

what?

i think that the sleep is catching up

[warm otter]

the astronaut

with the gun

saying 'always have'

[manic jackal]

i think i missed something

never heard of that

BHAHA

should i block him?

nahh

[warm otter]

bruh dyno gtfo

hater of memes and dog videos

[manic jackal]

real

[warm otter]

i would recommend it

[manic jackal]

haters gonna hate

[manic jackal]

why

that feels rude

and next level

i still have to delete his pictures

[warm otter]

he was rude first lol

[manic jackal]

yk whats also very wierd

[warm otter]

because

[manic jackal]

a lot of staff members follow my journal

[warm otter]

this is still fresh

i think when you exit a relationship you're at a very vulnerable point in life

[manic jackal]

@manic jackal am i on the TTC watch list

[manic jackal]

true but like idk it feels very low

[manic jackal]

yeah i guess, but no need to block ig

idk

il see

[warm otter]

fair nough

[warm otter]

along with the FBI watchlist

[manic jackal]

my mind can only think in billie eilish omg-
i was like ''i want to shower''
any my brain was ''I'll run a shower for you like you want
Clothes on the counter for you, try 'em on
If I'm allowed, I'll help you take 'em off
(Huh)''

[manic jackal]

for real, like why what did i do...

some people unfollowed (ouch)

EXUSE ME BUT WHY DID SO MUCH STAFF STEP DOWN?

[warm otter]

not enough exodus reading :p

[manic jackal]

b-but i fully read it:(

[warm otter]

lol im kidding :D

[manic jackal]

i could eat that girl for lunch🕺🏼

[warm otter]

no

bad

[manic jackal]

yeah she dances on my tongue💃🏼

taste like she might be the one

i love that song

my fav is the greatest though

its like she places camera's and followed my relation

[manic jackal]

why😔

[warm otter]

cannibalism bad

[manic jackal]

I LOVED YOU AND I STILL DO

JUST WANTED PASSION FROM YOU

JUST WANTED WHAT I GAVE YOU

I WAITED

AND WAITEDDDDD

like

yes

true

real

[manic jackal]

........

imma hold your hand when i say this

[manic jackal]

all the times ive waited for you to want me naked. made it all look painless man am i the greatest

[warm otter]

lol you WANT a man that doesn't want you naked

if they don't want you naked they want you for who you are, as a person

[manic jackal]

yeah but its a refrence to ''i only get attention when you want me naked''

:))

[warm otter]

ohhhhh ok

okok i approve then lol

[manic jackal]

(what was kinda what happend to me except he just wanted love from me and that was the only times he messaged me fr)

(Akka not a lot)

[manic jackal]

yesss

[warm otter]

if they want to date you, but don't want sexual things, it really means they value you, your wellbeing, and the relationship

[manic jackal]

i agreee

totallyy

[warm otter]

literal leech

[manic jackal]

yeah

anyways

im bored

[warm otter]

sadly i think modern generation men are kinda trashy lol

on average

[manic jackal]

maybe il grind soundcloud again for some sped up billie eilish songs

[warm otter]

so the point, don't settle for average

you're wrth more

worth

[manic jackal]

real, but i honestly cant say much more about women

[warm otter]

orrrrr EXODUS

[manic jackal]

wise words from a men that saw the dino's

[manic jackal]

no the other one

uhmm

levidus

or something along the lines

[warm otter]

as someone who dates women yeah they are just as trashy lol

[manic jackal]

true

[warm otter]

finding good ones is hard

[manic jackal]

yeahh

[warm otter]

finding good ones that are actually mature enough for a relationship is way harder

it sucks cause ill meet one we get along real well and it's like yeah I learn it is not what she needs rn

[manic jackal]

kuch my ex clearly not kuch

[manic jackal]

yeah that sucks

[warm otter]

eh it is what it is

[manic jackal]

yeah true not much to change about it

[warm otter]

hopefully once I'm older there will be more people who are ready :P

[manic jackal]

yeah time will learn:)

[warm otter]

u need to sleep

[manic jackal]

no

its light outside

means its time for the next day

[warm otter]

:<

@oldfashionedcow

darn not in this discord

[manic jackal]

what

whats that

[warm otter]

you'd like him, he's 15 and he codes bots in his spare time

also stays up till 5am lol

[manic jackal]

slay

[manic jackal]

thats cool:)

[warm otter]

ugh too bad he's not here :<<<<<<<

he's also super hyper like u

well it probably doens't help he drinks like 10 gallons of tea a day lol

[manic jackal]

thats extra slay

[manic jackal]

is he in this server?

no hes not

[warm otter]

his family is from india and he makes this traditional indian tea

he cooks it in a PAN with milk or smthn

takes 30 mins

[manic jackal]

oehh sounds good tbh

[warm otter]

ughhhh i should invite him here but tbh it is kinda trashy here ._. in general

[manic jackal]

it depends (i havent been active in this server)

i should get more active tbh

[warm otter]

lol you're one of the only people i met in the vent channels that i well saw here regularly

well i met a few more, but most leave the server after a few weeks (a lot send me friend requests actually)

this one sent me a friend request and i said hello and they never responded xD

[manic jackal]

yeah! i was really freaking active for a few months, helped everyone if i had the time yk. but i stoped some time ago. but i should start again

[manic jackal]

(wierd flex)

[manic jackal]

damn haha

[warm otter]

how is that a flex lol

i tried getting active in other threads here but i don't know the lore heh because i dont see them in the vent rooms

[manic jackal]

(a lot send me a friend request actually) sounded like a subtle flex😭

[manic jackal]

ahh yeah i get that

[warm otter]

no because we never actually DM soo

[manic jackal]

ohh

[warm otter]

with the people that send them

i don't get it :D

[manic jackal]

i always have when i like help 3 people for a day, the next day i have like 3 message invites asking me to help them

[manic jackal]

they just suck

[warm otter]

but i spend time in lots of places like this and idk this one kinda has the weirdest vent channels

so i dont spend time here much

[warm otter]

lol yeah

they want a free personal therapist smh

[manic jackal]

i get that, i went to some other servers but i just didnt felt that welcome or they didnt even respond to your vent. so i left

[warm otter]

or a gf

[manic jackal]

fr

[warm otter]

honestly yeah id be careful

there are a lotttt of creeps on discord

[manic jackal]

nah ah, not for some months

[warm otter]

and in this this discord, too

[manic jackal]

frr

[warm otter]

so yeah I'd be very careful about friend requests or DMs

also, next time, pick an irl bf :P

[manic jackal]

yeah i definitely am

[warm otter]

slash gf whatever

[manic jackal]

yeah definitely💀

i think im gonna pull an all nighter

[warm otter]

one of my current friends was groomed into an online relationship w someone she met on discord when she was 13.... he was 30+

[manic jackal]

ew, i dont get how adults do that

[warm otter]

ugh that shit makes me sick

[manic jackal]

fr

[warm otter]

i hate this platform in general

i see shit like this constantly

[manic jackal]

i luckly never seen it

[warm otter]

i just think if there's a place where all the creeps hang out, discord is the place :P

[manic jackal]

real

but its also a great place if your carefull

[warm otter]

some things like TTC, well I have seen people try taking advantage of girls coming there who are in a very bad spot, banned soooo many of them

ugh

[warm otter]

is it :P

[manic jackal]

my american friend just called me a ''klootzak'' (asshole but then in dutch)

[warm otter]

why

[manic jackal]

its so funny when he randomlly starts talking dutch to me

[manic jackal]

because i had a mini panick attack and it felt so strange (i was messaging him when it happen) and then he replied to when i said ''it felt so strange'' he said yeah because your having a panick attack asshole

it caught me off guard

and it was funny af

[manic jackal]

yeah! i met my bestfriend here haha. been friends for 9 months now and we still call and text a lot:)

[warm otter]

aweeeeeee

ok have fun sleeping

i gtg

[manic jackal]

i wont but thanksss

[warm otter]

do i send more sheep then

[manic jackal]

okeyy byee, goodluck with whatever your doingg

[manic jackal]

nahh il be fine without the sheep

[warm otter]

packing for a 50 mile bike trip tomorrow

[manic jackal]

oehh nicee

have fun tomorrow:)

[warm otter]

🐑 LARRY SAW WHAT YOU SAID

[manic jackal]

NO I JUST TOOK CARE THAT HE CAN STAY IN THE GRASS LONGER

[manic jackal]

No....