a journal of my life

[knotty grove]

They are useful 😭

[manic jackal]

Oh

Thats sad

[knotty grove]

Whyy

[manic jackal]

I rlly wanted a small bite

[knotty grove]

Did u eat em?

[manic jackal]

Nah

[knotty grove]

💀 u gonna need ur fingers

I cant imagine life without em

[manic jackal]

I can

[knotty grove]

😭 it was a dark joke

[manic jackal]

I know:)

[knotty grove]

Sorry if it was lame

Today my nitro ends

[manic jackal]

Oh no😭

[knotty grove]

Iss okay

I didnt even change my pfp so yeah

It was useless anyway

@manic jackal cookin cheese?

[manic jackal]

Its done🙃

[knotty grove]

Yayyy

[knotty grove]

Why is ur table so neat 😭

My table is literally

Dusty

[manic jackal]

Because i have a mom that cleans my shit🫣

[knotty grove]

Share me one please 😋

[knotty grove]

W mom

[manic jackal]

Ehhh

[manic jackal]

Frr

[knotty grove]

But make sure u dont shit everywhere

Its a mess to clean it all

[manic jackal]

😭

[knotty grove]

💀

[knotty grove]

Not the mom, i mean that bread

[manic jackal]

I KNOW😭

[knotty grove]

Idk if its bread

[manic jackal]

But no

[knotty grove]

It looks arc

[manic jackal]

Its stort of is

[knotty grove]

Like arc

[manic jackal]

But nah ah

Make your own

[knotty grove]

Ikr eat it

[knotty grove]

😭

Me lives alone

Dont have toaster

[manic jackal]

Then you should buy one

[knotty grove]

Nice idea

[manic jackal]

Ikr

[knotty grove]

U should eatt

Cheese is bad when cold

[manic jackal]

I am eating🙃

[knotty grove]

Thas good

U watxh anime?

[manic jackal]

Nah

Do you?

[knotty grove]

Ooo yes i do

I started this year

I found some good ones

I dont like too much action

So yea

I can suggest u some good ones

[manic jackal]

Oehh nicee

[knotty grove]

Me changed colourr

[manic jackal]

Im not really into that, but thanks!

[knotty grove]

I see

Okayy

[manic jackal]

I saw!

[knotty grove]

I used to hate animes too

But i found some cute ones

[manic jackal]

Thats nice

[knotty grove]

I think u should watch some show while eating

I'll bore u

[manic jackal]

First of, im already done
Second, i prefer talking to people:)

[knotty grove]

Ooo

Because i am boring

Since i dont find topics easily

I wasnt earlier

I stopped talking to people so yea

[manic jackal]

Nahh you're not boring

[manic jackal]

I feel you haha

[knotty grove]

Whenever i meet someone i just ask basic intro then hobbies and shit

Then i am out of ideas

[manic jackal]

Real

[knotty grove]

I dont need sympathy lol i am just letting u know

If u feel bored u dont have keep convo going

[manic jackal]

And im just telling that thats not true🙃

I need to study for math🥲

But i dont want to

Il just do it later

[knotty grove]

Want help?

Im a math nerd fr

I might as well slip some tricks fr

[manic jackal]

No its actually going pretty smooth arm:)

But il keep you in mind then🙃

[knotty grove]

Alr lol ty

[knotty grove]

I see

What is ur syllabus?

[manic jackal]

My what?

[knotty grove]

I mean

Like im in 12th grade

So syllabus is basically

The topics that are in ur subject

Of this session

[manic jackal]

Ohh

Uhmn

🫣

[knotty grove]

In which grade u are?

[manic jackal]

Uhmmm

Lm look it up haha

[knotty grove]

Iss okay

[knotty grove]

Yess

Send me if u can actually

[manic jackal]

Grade 8

[manic jackal]

Yeah il grab my book wait a second haha

[knotty grove]

Aw u r so little (in a good way)

[knotty grove]

Alright

[manic jackal]

😭

[knotty grove]

Sowy

Nobody knows that

Heck

[manic jackal]

Haha

[knotty grove]

Oh which language

[manic jackal]

Dutch:)

[knotty grove]

Herleid means?

[knotty grove]

Aw man i cant understand it

[manic jackal]

You dont really have to look at the things they say haha

You only have to do the multiplications, i also have no idea what they mean with some stuff😭

[knotty grove]

Yea its lame

[manic jackal]

Fr haha

[knotty grove]

I think it means "simplify"

Or solve

[manic jackal]

Yeah id say solve🤷

But its pretty easy so it should not be to bad to study haha

[knotty grove]

Yea

Its easy lil bit for 8th grade

Im high rn

I think

[manic jackal]

Yeah but oh well

[manic jackal]

WHAT😭

[knotty grove]

I wrote 12th grade

Insteas of 8th

[manic jackal]

😭

[knotty grove]

And im making too many typod

[manic jackal]

So now your high?

[knotty grove]

(This one was intentional)

[manic jackal]

Damn

[manic jackal]

Mhm

[knotty grove]

I mean no but im sleepy

[manic jackal]

Then why not sleep

[knotty grove]

I gotta study

😭

U go study and i also will

It made me feel good talkin to u

[manic jackal]

Okey haha, goodluck!

[knotty grove]

Thanks for that

Cya later

[manic jackal]

Glad to hear, it definitely made me also feel better:))

[manic jackal]

Ttyl!

[knotty grove]

Yayyy

Byeee

[manic jackal]

Bye byee

[knotty grove]

Im bored

💀

[manic jackal]

Same

🥲

[knotty grove]

Wanna watch smth?

Or play a game

💀

Do any of these

That's what i do sometimes

[cosmic river]

hello people named bored

[untold lichen]

hello anura

[manic jackal]

Got a new pfp

Not sure what to think of it though🤔

[manic jackal]

Sorry i saw this way to late😭

ok what did i delete then

[cosmic river]

hello

[cosmic river]

is this you

[manic jackal]

Dude i dont remember it💀

[manic jackal]

Yeah:)

[cosmic river]

lookin pretty slay gurl

[manic jackal]

well i didnt delete shit soi

[manic jackal]

ew no

andalso no

[manic jackal]

Thanks:)

its over

[manic jackal]

You did, but its fine:)

[manic jackal]

What is😭

[manic jackal]

for you

[manic jackal]

well i didnt

prove it

[manic jackal]

What is over for me?

[manic jackal]

tahts rly easy

[manic jackal]

Cant dimbo

[manic jackal]

I said that it was, learn to read

oh grade 8 makes sense

[manic jackal]

just google

and u will know

[manic jackal]

cause i didnt

what did i delete

and why would i

[manic jackal]

It doesnt though🤷

[manic jackal]

Idk you tell me

4/10 at best

cant be saying "im hot asfff"

wheres the realism

[manic jackal]

okey did i ever ask?

[manic jackal]

never said that:)

something along the lines of that

[manic jackal]

got told so multiple times though

so there must be a little truth in it

[manic jackal]

says this to be nice

also most ppl arent honest

[manic jackal]

nah more have said it

why would they be rude

well yh ur a girl so

ofc ppl will say that

[manic jackal]

because also non friends have told me so:)

but its fine, i dont care if 1 person thinks im ugly:)

most ppl are just trytna be nice

i can live with that fact

fr though🥲

mentally stable😭

glad that someone has that faith in me🫡

OMG HEY PEARL

yes sir, we arent allouwed to talk so though

[manic jackal]

such an honour that you're here

(please get this men out of here🥲 )

yeah!

girls on insta

[knotty grove]

Cute

[manic jackal]

thankss

[knotty grove]

Sad

But its alr

[knotty grove]

Cute af

[manic jackal]

nah

[manic jackal]

i will see it sooner the next time🫡

[knotty grove]

Bro's ass on fire

[manic jackal]

i call my bros majestic

[manic jackal]

its not tho

[manic jackal]

BAHAHHAAHA

[knotty grove]

Yea man it truly makes sense for someone like u who is orphan

Man u r the reason ur home is called orphanage

[manic jackal]

wtf is this attempt at a roast bro

cringe ass

[knotty grove]

Is that why they turned straight? 💀

[manic jackal]

its pretty funny

[manic jackal]

what

[cosmic river]

this is ridiculous

[knotty grove]

Still better than ur life

[manic jackal]

me and all my friends are straight

im laughing my ass off

ew id never be gay

its amazing

[manic jackal]

nah

OMG IM GAY

[knotty grove]

Man started describing his own ass

[manic jackal]

im not depressed

[cosmic river]

in this 30 mins of bullshit you could have been doing something else

[manic jackal]

hate on me more:P

[knotty grove]

Oh my bad u aint got life

[manic jackal]

legit everyone in here is

[cosmic river]

but im just watching avg teenager activity

[manic jackal]

awh im not depressed though

[knotty grove]

<@&923393222187810846>

U r so dead bro

Dw i wont go easy

[manic jackal]

wellu

[knotty grove]

Gotta kick ur ass

[wheat bison]

Is everything alright?

[manic jackal]

ur making fun of orhpans and stuff

so

[knotty grove]

This guy

Bullies everyone

[manic jackal]

nah hes calling me an orphan

[knotty grove]

In every thread

[manic jackal]

nah

[manic jackal]

no this one dude is making fun of multiple people etc

u bully me

[cosmic river]

you might need to use your sanity

[manic jackal]

.

[gentle reef]

please be respectful

[manic jackal]

saying i got no loife

[wheat bison]

Homophobic comments

[manic jackal]

.

[manic jackal]

fr

[knotty grove]

Do u wanna see some proofs of this guy making fun of everyone in every thread

[manic jackal]

nah gay is fine

[cosmic river]

not only that he's everywhere in threads

[knotty grove]

@manic jackal bro changed sides

[manic jackal]

u have to punish totoro if u punish me

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA FR THOUGH

if not ur discriminating

[wheat bison]

He's gone

[manic jackal]

thank you ari

[cosmic river]

finally skinwalker responded

[wheat bison]

Shush

[cosmic river]

(thank you)

[knotty grove]

Fr fr

[cosmic river]

ok jokes aside goated mod

[wheat bison]

Ayee ty ty

He's gone bye bye

[knotty grove]

@wheat bison had better development arc than every damn anime

[wheat bison]

Stinky homophobics

[wheat bison]

LOL

[manic jackal]

real

[knotty grove]

Ngl he was bullying everyone as if he is some rare shit

[wheat bison]

Ew

[knotty grove]

Finally peace

✌

[manic jackal]

yas

[knotty grove]

Fr fr

[manic jackal]

no juice though🥲

[knotty grove]

Hru ari

[knotty grove]

Lemme make some

I only gor oranges

[manic jackal]

what😭

OHHH

yummy

[knotty grove]

Everything aside ur pfp slay

[manic jackal]

thankss

[knotty grove]

Now i see why he is into u

[manic jackal]

💀

[knotty grove]

Feel bad for him

💀

He aint getting soupie fr

[manic jackal]

(im questioning if i like him)

[knotty grove]

No u dont

If i were u i would marry myself 💀

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA

[manic jackal]

why not though😭

[knotty grove]

Enough of joking

Hru ?

[manic jackal]

eh

could be better

[knotty grove]

Cz find some1 better

[manic jackal]

wbu?

[manic jackal]

but why would not be enough

[knotty grove]

I thought u are better now cz that crap guy got banned

[knotty grove]

Um because u dont love him?

[knotty grove]

9/10

[manic jackal]

but i kinda do

[knotty grove]

Ngl everytime i am bored

[manic jackal]

damn not even a 10🥲 /j

[knotty grove]

I read that guy's message

[manic jackal]

nah dude

[knotty grove]

No one is 10 except her

She so ten my scale increased to infinite

[knotty grove]

Sad

[manic jackal]

okey thats cute af

[knotty grove]

But tbh u look 10

So be happy

[manic jackal]

omg thankss

[knotty grove]

Ikrrrr

[manic jackal]

(i was fucking happy with a 9)

OMG ARI ALSO JOINED THE CLUB

[knotty grove]

I just didnt want to disappoint u

[knotty grove]

What club

👀

[manic jackal]

THE MEMBER CLUB

[knotty grove]

WHAT IS THAT

TELL ME

[manic jackal]

THEY FOLLOW THIS THREAT

[knotty grove]

WHICH

??? (IN CAPS)

[manic jackal]

MINE

AND SO DOES PEARL

HOW FUN

I JUST GOT 2 MODS FOLLOWING MYL IFE

I GOTTA JOURNAL HERE AGAIN NOW

not me typing all this while a friend is venting to me

makes me feel like a bad friend

[knotty grove]

INVITE ME

[manic jackal]

but this way it doesnt make it to bad for me

[manic jackal]

TO WHAT?

[knotty grove]

TO CLUB

[manic jackal]

YOURE ALR IN IT

[knotty grove]

no its okay

[manic jackal]

YOU ALR FOLLOW THIS THREAT

[knotty grove]

This way u will feel less tensed

[knotty grove]

Ooo

[manic jackal]

yeah exactly

[knotty grove]

THAT IS THREAD 😭 (CRIES IN CAPS)

I GOT WORRIED

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHAA

[knotty grove]

Dont tell me ur keyboard autocorrects it

Poor traumatized keyboard

[manic jackal]

autocorresct what?

[knotty grove]

Thread into threat

[manic jackal]

it doesnt

thats just my stupid brain

[knotty grove]

Oo

U do on purpose ic

[knotty grove]

Nono u not stoobid

U soupie

[manic jackal]

wow

[knotty grove]

Yess

Did u eat?

[manic jackal]

wow racc also followed

[manic jackal]

today?

[knotty grove]

Yesss

Except that cheese one

U didnt share mee 😦

[knotty grove]

Cool how do u check it tho

[manic jackal]

i did, im about to eat some fries:)

[manic jackal]

i have it on the right of my screen

[knotty grove]

Cooool but dont eat too much junk foods

Eat healthy shit too

[manic jackal]

DAM CHRISTIAN ALSO FOLLOWS

[knotty grove]

Ooo

[manic jackal]

AND SO DOES MONTY

BAHHAH

DAMN

I HAVE THE WHOLE CREW

[knotty grove]

Omg yes

And wempt too

💀

W

[manic jackal]

FR?

[knotty grove]

Yeah fr

[manic jackal]

I JUST WANT TO TAGG THEM ALL NOW AND SAY HI

IDK WHY IM SO EXITED

[knotty grove]

💀 and get the thread disclosed

[knotty grove]

I would also be excited

If i were uu

[manic jackal]

huh?

[knotty grove]

I mean if u ping em all

It wont be a good idea

[manic jackal]

i would just say hi

why not

they are still people

i just wanna say hi

[knotty grove]

I mean i thought pinging mods for no reason is bad

[manic jackal]

🥲

[knotty grove]

Hi

[manic jackal]

i have no idea tbh

[knotty grove]

Now u r done

[manic jackal]

nah ah

[knotty grove]

Idk either i just think like that

[knotty grove]

Yuh uh

[manic jackal]

ugh dine i wont tagg thm

but if you guys see this

heyy, glad that you're intrested the boring life of a red head

imma ping this

pin

nvm i cant

[knotty grove]

Nuh uh

U aint red head

[knotty grove]

Its okay

[manic jackal]

yes sir i am

[knotty grove]

Nooooo

[manic jackal]

yessss

[knotty grove]

U soupie

[manic jackal]

and a red head

[knotty grove]

Not red head

[manic jackal]

yah ah

[knotty grove]

U cute head

Now stop it

Fr

/jk

[manic jackal]

im a red head though

[knotty grove]

Red cute head?

💀

[manic jackal]

i can live with that ig

WAIT

YOU HAVE A GF

DAMN

I just broke girls code

[knotty grove]

Im back

[knotty grove]

Good

[knotty grove]

She not gf she my partner

Gf is shit ass word

[knotty grove]

Means?

[manic jackal]

Still broke girls code🥲

[manic jackal]

🤷

[knotty grove]

?

Idk what u meant by that

[cosmic river]

oh my god sis

the code

[knotty grove]

What is that

?

[cosmic river]

im a guy

soo

idk

[knotty grove]

Ikr

Uh

[cosmic river]

for us dudes

we call it bro code

[knotty grove]

Ohh

Idk that either

I am shit code i guess

[manic jackal]

Yep

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA

[knotty grove]

?

What is girl code

😭

I tried to google

I couldnt find shot

Sbit

Shir

Shit*

[manic jackal]

Girl code is all about respecting your besties: so protect their secrets, tell them the truth, and support their decisions. In general, girl code discourages you from pursuing people who your friend has an emotional investment in, like their crushes and exes. Girl code is also about how you should treat other women.

[knotty grove]

Oh now i get it

I see

[manic jackal]

good:))

[knotty grove]

Yess

Goodnightt

[manic jackal]

goodnight!

[knotty grove]

Yes yes

Sleepu

[untold lichen]

there is no bro code

[manic jackal]

there acutally is:)

actuly?

ugh

anyways

today i just felt pretty good until the night, idk why but the nights are always really hard for me. luckly i have a friend that understands that, so we where just talking and kind of kept talking which really saved me from some thoughts/urges iykwim. so thats that:)). today i had my frech test, which i cheated on with my friend so that was nice:)), now im just hoping for a good grade:)

[knotty grove]

Heyy

I woke up

Oh i read it

Night is really hard

Shit starts hitting ur head

[untold lichen]

bro code is just C++ and python

[cosmic river]

lmaoooo

fact

[knotty grove]

True

Damn ur name

💀

[untold lichen]

it rhymes

[knotty grove]

Yess

It good

Thas why

[untold lichen]

defending soup nation

[knotty grove]

Wuts that

[cosmic river]

top 10 propfeds moments of all time

[untold lichen]

top 10 prop:
1: prop

[manic jackal]

Hey hey

[manic jackal]

Real

[knotty grove]

Hm

Alright

Sorry i am unfollowing this threas

[manic jackal]

Oh no, why that😭

[cosmic river]

dramaaaaaaa

people have issues we have issues everyone has issues

lets see whos next to leave

[manic jackal]

Well turns out that my friend/crush has a date for ||suicide||....

Idk how to tell him that i love him back, because now it will just seems out of pity

And im also not ready for anything serious, but i cant loose him

[cosmic river]

if you fear that his perspective will see pity, you should reassure him at this point

as in confess your love and explain your intentions

although you dont want to start anything

and dont just make him see it in a way of someone wanting to date him make him feel like someone is there for him

[manic jackal]

well i told him that i liked him:))

it went so amazing

we are taking it slow atm, so no rush:)

[knotty grove]

Meh is back

[manic jackal]

Heyy

Welcome back:)

[knotty grove]

Ya ya fr

[cosmic river]

wwwww

[knotty grove]

Idk why but whenever u r in chat i get confused if im talking to u or the other person

[cosmic river]

i diagnose you with dyslexia and legal blindness

[manic jackal]

😭

[manic jackal]

Damn

Not me cycling with a stick in my hand

And my phone in the other

[knotty grove]

😭

[knotty grove]

Bro took life is a circus to a whole new level 💀

[manic jackal]

Nahh thats called ✨dutchness✨

[knotty grove]

Damn whats thatt

Oh wait u r dutch?

[manic jackal]

Yeahh

[knotty grove]

Yea i just remembered

The maths book 😭

[manic jackal]

oh yeah haha

[knotty grove]

Hru soupie

[manic jackal]

not really sure, but it could be worse:) what about you??

[knotty grove]

I am fine

[manic jackal]

glad to hear:)

[knotty grove]

I just learned today that i used to say "smash" thinking it means crushing someone with punch or smth

But it was a disgusting swear

😭

[manic jackal]

i just had my hockey match:)) we played 2-2

[knotty grove]

Omg thats good

Did u enjoy?

[manic jackal]

BHAHAHA

[manic jackal]

ehh i was a goalkeeper this game so it was a little boring

[knotty grove]

Oo thats kinda sad but

U see

Goalkeeper has so much power

Like he can stop a literal goal

Tbh

[manic jackal]

i let everything through

although one wasnt my fault

[knotty grove]

😭

[manic jackal]

it was a bad game, normally im better

[knotty grove]

U shouldn't be this kind

[knotty grove]

Proo

[manic jackal]

eh i can also be kind:)

[knotty grove]

I think i cant keep up bit i wanna talk dont mind yypos

[knotty grove]

But its curse for ur allies

[manic jackal]

how😭

i couldnt get that one, no matter how i tried🥲

i want to draw but idk what

[knotty grove]

I mean i am kidding

[knotty grove]

Umm draw something yummy?

Or draw a puppy

[manic jackal]

not good at both🥲

[knotty grove]

Draw a flower

[manic jackal]

i know what im going to make:)

[knotty grove]

If possible

[knotty grove]

Tell me

[manic jackal]

its not drawing, but its something to keep me busy:P

maybe il draw something after

[knotty grove]

This is so cute

Always love urself

[manic jackal]

this wasnt for myself🙃

[knotty grove]

Then 😭

Oh got it

💀

[manic jackal]

Wow i got triggerd first thing when i woke up👍

Today i have a running race though, so thats exiting!!

Its 6:30 am though so thats a bit less exiting

We will be their the whole day since my sister and my mom are also doing this race (different distance) i will be doing the 4 km:))

[knotty grove]

Yayyy

[knotty grove]

Haww

[knotty grove]

Omggg 4km

Dont u get tired 😭

Just run slowly

Save energy

[manic jackal]

Some gc where someone just randomly said that they did ||sh|| without the spoiler tags

[knotty grove]

I bet many wont be able to finish

[manic jackal]

I do but thats the fun

[manic jackal]

Nah i want to finish in less then 23 minutes

[knotty grove]

Hey hey dont be in such places sillyy

[knotty grove]

Well then do it

[manic jackal]

What do you mean😭

[knotty grove]

Ooo

Have u run 4km before?

[knotty grove]

Dont be in such dumb gc

[manic jackal]

Yeah, alot of times haha

[knotty grove]

U got crazy stamina 😭

I never did actually participate so idk tbh

[manic jackal]

Normally its just a normal gc dont worry, but yeah:)

[knotty grove]

Maybe i could run 4km too

[knotty grove]

Still enough to ruin a day

[manic jackal]

You should try! Its fun

[manic jackal]

Yeah but oh well

[knotty grove]

I mean i dont wann go out fr

[manic jackal]

Im not going to let one person ruin a funny gc

[knotty grove]

Fr fr

Tsuyoi

[manic jackal]

What does that mean😅

[knotty grove]

It means strong i watched an anime in which a kid says it and it sounds cute so i said that

T is silent

Su-oi is how it will sound

[manic jackal]

Ohh thats nice:)

[manic jackal]

I finished the race (4km) in just 22 min!

Last year i did it in 23 min and 30 sec so i improved☺️

[knotty grove]

Yayyyy

[knotty grove]

I am so proud of uuu

Now take a good rest

[manic jackal]

I will!

[manic jackal]

Thanks!

[knotty grove]

Yessss

Thats nice

Watch something u like

Give a treat to urself

U really did so good

[manic jackal]

I totally will:))

Im going to race in a simulator in a few:))

[manic jackal]

Just raced and i won😌

[knotty grove]

Yayyy

@manic jackal good nighttt

Sleep on time too

Oki?

Me go sleep

[manic jackal]

goodnight!

[manic jackal]

cant promise:)\

[knotty grove]

Are u asleep?

[manic jackal]

I was:)

[knotty grove]

Yayyy

[manic jackal]

My legs hurt so much omg😭

I ran to much🥲

Anyways i have a English reading test today so thats pretty easy🙃

[cosmic river]

leg day queen

[manic jackal]

Fr😭

[flint wagon]

hey iv' read your Journey to my life post and i could relate this abit because sometimes in school i have anxiety attacks or Depersonalization sometimes because i have overthinking or post tramau thing that im dealing in school and walking with those things felt like my brain is asleep and my physical body is autopilot or felt like my brain is foggy

[manic jackal]

yeah i totally feel you with these, it sucks but oh well haha

[manic jackal]

wow....

my old crush (my bestfriend at that time) also had a crush on me, and i think that she still does

i finally moved on from those feelings towards her because i felt them for a good amount of time

and now this bs

and idk why but it made me so sad knowing all this

but i have a bf now and i know that he treats me better then her and i also know that i dont get those butterflys by her

but i feel like i cant tell him that this had happend

i dont want him to think that i would dump him for her, because i would never

but i hate this

[manic jackal]

OMG BHAHAHA

I JUST TOLD MY MOM THAT I LIKED THE BOYSINCE HE ISNT OFFICALLY MY BG

AND SHE SAID ''oh yeah i knew''

[manic jackal]

MY MOM SNITCHED ON ME HAHHAA

SHE CALLED MY DAD WHEN I WENT UPSTAIRS AND TOLD HIM

anyways i can now ask him to be my bf🫣

[manic jackal]

ugh he isnt responding to me

im nervous if something might have happend

[manic jackal]

he was fine:p

[cobalt mulch]

GLL

[cosmic river]

he probably has lego star wars models

[knotty grove]

👀 goodluck

[knotty grove]

Fr fr

[manic jackal]

HE ALSO HAS THAT😭

Well i asked him yesterday, and im not single anymore🫣

[cosmic river]

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEESH

[manic jackal]

awh i just saw that pearl left the club

[cosmic river]

wdym?

[manic jackal]

pearl doesnt follow this threat anymore

[cosmic river]

oh shit

i didnt even know she did

[lucid quail]

I READ EVERYTHING.

[manic jackal]

DAMN

[lucid quail]

EHEHEH

[manic jackal]

dedication

fr

[cosmic river]

do your hw

[lucid quail]

😔💅

[cosmic river]

screens can be a waste of time

[lucid quail]

finished it like 40 minutes ago

[manic jackal]

real

OMG I CAN NEARLY TALK TO HIM AGIAN

YIPPY

LETS JUST HOPE THAT HE FEELS BETTER SO THAT I CAN

[cosmic river]

proud of ya (almost)

[manic jackal]

IEEE

[lucid quail]

tyty eheh

[manic jackal]

not the almost😭

[cosmic river]

ermm

[hearty bronze]

Ball

⚽️

[manic jackal]

Ugh getting sick of this bitch

[cosmic river]

whos the bitch exactly?

i mean who is it

[manic jackal]

My "friend"

She keeps playong the victim

[cosmic river]

what did they do

[manic jackal]

Im so sick of her

And it keeps going

I thought that she would change but nk

No

[cosmic river]

well if you thought about ending the friendship im guessing you are still preparing

[manic jackal]

Well today i didn't text her because i had it really busy, as in i havent text anyone exept my bf which was only a "hey" and i couldnt even respond. So i texted her saying "hey im sorry i didn't rlly text you i was pretty busy im sorry" and then she said "nah its fine dont worry" and then 10 min later i got "but you had time to text your bf" like who does she thinks she is?!

First of, how and why does she thinks that. And second, why would i text her if i can only say "hey" to my bf. Ofc im going to text my bf then instead of her🤷

[manic jackal]

I cant rlly break any friendship, but im playing on just not texting her. Im kinda sick of her

[cosmic river]

a person can get inconsiderate to you when they are jealous

or if they want to have something you got

[manic jackal]

Yeah she has always been like this though (she has also told me that she was jealous)

[cosmic river]

mmm thats why its no surprise

[manic jackal]

Yeah, but before the bf she has also been like this

Thats why im so sick of it

[cosmic river]

i would say you have to explain to them about your situation yes they would listen but not understand

[cosmic river]

i mean besides the bf

its just like you know, you being you and what you have in life

[manic jackal]

Ive already told her that i feel like this, and she just got mad🤷

[cosmic river]

they can be jealous of that but of course i cant say which exactly

[cosmic river]

well toxic friend then

[manic jackal]

Yeah i get that

[manic jackal]

Yep i know, thats why i have been distant to her (also a reason why she got mad)

[cosmic river]

this is her own problem if im gonna be honest

[manic jackal]

Yep i know:)

[cosmic river]

but lets try to also consider what she has been going through

i will not count that as an excuse for her behavior tho

[manic jackal]

Alot tbh, but this is not an excuse for this shit

[cosmic river]

she needs to get it fixed

[manic jackal]

Ikr

Anyways im ignoring her now😋

(im crying on the inside)

[cosmic river]

ignoring them is sometimes necessary

so you might wanna take a break

but do not talk behind her back like in a way of insulting or shit talking

[manic jackal]

O dont tbh, i just rlly needed to get this of my chest haha

[manic jackal]

Yeah i definitely will

[cosmic river]

dont worry i know theres a difference

gws

[manic jackal]

I hate this

I hate it all

The feeling

The people

The work

The stress

Everything

Why

Why does this happen

Again

It always happens again, and i never learn from it

[manic jackal]

I fucked up, my bf was telling me to try and get Therapy. But i feel like its not bad enough to get help atm, and he kept telling me that i really do. I got a little mad, not really bad but still a little. Now he hasnt seen my message since last night, but he has been online half an hour ago.
Im so scared that i fucked it up

Well he saw my message but decided to just not respond to my question and good morning

[untold lichen]

then try therapy out

what's going to hurt you?

[cosmic river]

and grape juice (optional)

[manic jackal]

Idk but im just scared to ask to my parents

[manic jackal]

Sounds amazing tbh haha

[manic jackal]

He sees my message but doesnt respond, hes in school but he could have atleast send a "hi" back, right?

Idk i feel like im tripping but fuck i hate this

[cosmic river]

this is where it begins

[manic jackal]

yeah but like, already?

its been 2 fucking days

and already this bs

[cosmic river]

yes

[manic jackal]

i just asked him about it

we will see

he has left me on read for about 15 hours now:p

[cosmic river]

15 hours wtf

honestly ask him to talk about this matter already

[manic jackal]

I just did

I see him online all the time and for some reason that hurts so bad

[cosmic river]

when you are attached yes you start thinking if he would text others but not you

[manic jackal]

Yeah i mean why would he be able to read/respond to others but not his own gf?!

Like i get it, sometimes you cant. But 15 hours is mental

[cosmic river]

negligence happens

you have to really know the person well but i doubt knowing them well really does anything if we can be blind

matter of fact negligence can be both intentional and not at the same time

[manic jackal]

We have been friends for like 4 months now, i know him pretty good. It just hurts that the moment we become offial i dont mean as much anymore. Or atleast thats how it feels

[cosmic river]

4 months is very short

have you talked to him in person ?

i mean not very short but 4 months doesnt always equal to a full on interaction everyday

and it depends on what you both discuss

[manic jackal]

Nope, but we talked alot like everyday

[manic jackal]

Kinda everything haha

[cosmic river]

so are you guys ldr

[manic jackal]

Ldr??

[cosmic river]

long distance

relation

[manic jackal]

Ohh yeah we are

[cosmic river]

you fine with me being blunt on this?

[manic jackal]

Yeah haha

[cosmic river]

gotcha

you have to expect difficulties soon enough with this

if i were you i would actually stop this relationship immediately

[manic jackal]

Yeah and i understand that, and im ready for that. But this just seems rude tbh

[manic jackal]

Its been 2 days though, and i really love him. I want to make this work

Maybe he has a good reason yk

[cosmic river]

well im gonna give my take why this gets difficult

[manic jackal]

Sure

[cosmic river]

the needs inside long distance relationship is hard to meet therefore its also difficult to maintain because you can only experience interaction and affection by texting and i know you realize that you wouldnt want your emotional needs to be digitally limited so when you want to communicate with this person you wont be able to really understand their actual expressions in such

notice how someone can be so comfortable in ignoring?

all he has to do is open his phone and say something thats how easy it is to text unless you are busy or you really dont want to say anything

[manic jackal]

yeah i get what you mean

[manic jackal]

wow 18 hours

and we didnt talk

wtf

normally i would be worried, but he's online and has seen my message

[manic jackal]

well guess what

he also saw my last message

and didnt respond

fuck him

legit fuck him

they always do this shit

once they got you

fucking hell

22 hours rn

i need him the most now

and where is he?

no idea probably just sitting in his room

[solar flare]

Quiet your heart

[manic jackal]

what

[hearty bronze]

Stop overthinking it trust me did you ask him what’s wrong?

[cosmic river]

I dont think someone can just stop overthinking in that situation

but yes she is trying

[manic jackal]

He had just send me a stupid reel with some sweet shit in it

Well my night was pretty shit, i had a mental breakdown and i nearly relapsed. So i just went to sleep at 8 pm. My face luckely isnt puffy

Today is the 5 year anniversary of "when we all fall asleep where do we go" (album of Billie Eilish) and we are hoping for a new album or a deluxe version. But this all gives me new reasons to cry if she doesnt do anything like that🥲

BUT

If she does i would be very happy

My sadness will be cured for about an hour

Well we are going for 48 hours left on read

Im not even going to count the reel

Wtf

HIS PHONE GOT TAKEN AWAY

CHAT DO WE BELIEVE THAT?

(i will)

Okey i believed

Im now just asking why he could send a reel and shit

Okey we are better

Im still recovering because wtf

And i could still cry

[cosmic river]

delulu

[manic jackal]

Thank you😌

[untold lichen]

that's fine

[manic jackal]

Im so bored🥲

Thinking about going on a walk, but id have to put some real clothes on

And im to lazy for that

[cosmic river]

taking a walk is worth it

[manic jackal]

i did

and met a sheep

and he stood still to be pet for like 15 minutes it was so cute

[knotty grove]

@manic jackal yea well im back altho its just to delete my thread

Can u do a message in it

I cant find it

Then I'll leave

[manic jackal]

I did that!

Hey btw:)

[knotty grove]

Hi

[knotty grove]

Yea I'll just re read msgs and then delete

[manic jackal]

Ahh okey:)

[knotty grove]

It seems like im unable to delete

I need to take a mod's help

I cant open ticket tho

@manic jackal can u do

[manic jackal]

Why cant you open a ticket?

[knotty grove]

New member role

[manic jackal]

I think that you did delte it though

[manic jackal]

You can put in that it will disappear after 1 hour of no activity

[knotty grove]

I locked it only

[manic jackal]

Ahh

I also cant delete my treath haha

I think that you cant do it

[knotty grove]

True

U dont have to tho

Im just not willing to stay in server so i dont wanna leave my shi behind

[manic jackal]

Yeah il ask a mod, il open a ticket:)

[knotty grove]

Thank u

#1220910938820050964

Copy paste this @manic jackal in the ticket

[manic jackal]

I opened one, il update you:)

[manic jackal]

I will!

[knotty grove]

Sure then

Leaving

Cya!!

[manic jackal]

Cya!

[knotty grove]

[cosmic river]

bro has done 57 comebacks

im waiting for the next

[manic jackal]

What😭

[cosmic river]

im pretty sure he has left ttc like multiple times already

im waiting for the next come back

[manic jackal]

Ohh haha

[lyric sundial]

Next one will be interesting

[cosmic river]

probably joined the avengers

[manic jackal]

Today i drew this because its easter, hope you guys all have a good and happy easter🙃

[manic jackal]

may 14th...

fuck im scared to death

what if he actually does that

he said that it was just him being crazy yk

but fuck

i cant get that date out of my head

especially since he's my boyfriend rn

how am i going to live with that shit

and without him

[random furnace]

death is scary

try to talk him out of it, see him in person if possible

[manic jackal]

he wint talk about it at all

he shuts down when i try to talk about his feelings

[random furnace]

go see him

[manic jackal]

cant

[cosmic river]

that is one of the most common issues to go through

i've havent seen much people that actively seek their partner for help

(ldr)

[manic jackal]

I get that, but he also did this before we had anything. Like in the 6 months ive known him he has maybe talked 3 times about it

[cosmic river]

yes but it does not mean they are willing to do everything for it

but i understand not everyone gets opportunities and resources to do so

[manic jackal]

What do you mean?

[cosmic river]

they would talk about it but it doesnt mean they would try every possible solution (exclude problems that they actually dont have control on)

[manic jackal]

Ahh like that

But they legit wont talk about it sadly, it hurts but i dont want to push to hard

[cosmic river]

well yes you actually cannot push them but some people are the type to slowly reveal their problems if they cant help it

who knows if hes like that but just be there anytime you can be i guess

you have to mind your own well being too it is not your reponsibility to fix and guide others

regardless if theyre your bestest friend, boyfriend or something

[manic jackal]

Yeah i get what you mean, but it stresses me out. Just the thought of him not being here anymore

And now i know which date he wants/wanted to do it

Idk im scared for that day

[manic jackal]

im bored af

[manic jackal]

a poem i made for my boyfriend<33

He is my love, my light, my heart
But sometimes, I see the pain
In his eyes, the way he stands apart
From a world that sees him as a stain

He was born a girl, they say
But that's not how he feels inside
He's a boy, in every single way
But society won't let him abide

He's trapped in a body that feels wrong
In a world that doesn't understand
But to me, he's beautiful and strong
Just the way he is, no matter what brand

I see the struggle, the daily fight
To be seen as who he truly is
But he stands tall, with all his might
Defying labels, he won't be dismissed

I hold his hand, and I feel his fear
Of judgment, of rejection, of hate
But I promise to always be near
To love and support, no matter his fate

He's my boy, my love, my everything
And I'll stand by him through it all
Together, we'll face whatever life may bring
For love knows no boundaries, no wall

So to those who question and doubt
The beauty of his soul
I'll shout it loud, I'll proudly shout
He's my trans boy, and I'm in control

Of my love for him, and nothing else
For he's the one who makes my heart sing
And I'll stand by him, through heaven or hell
For he's my love, my everything

.
now is the question do i send this to him?

[manic jackal]

i had send it to him, and he was so happy

it was definitely worth the work

[cosmic river]

damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

[manic jackal]

Im going to talk to him about the distant stuff

Im so fucking nervous

[cosmic river]

it is better than never

[manic jackal]

yeah definitely

[manic jackal]

Having a hockey selection in a few

Its for a national school tournament!

There is a big change im making the team. So we will see!

[lyric sundial]

Good luck

[manic jackal]

Thanks!

[manic jackal]

The selection went really well! I think i will make the team!!!

[manic jackal]

he ignored the messaged i had send him

im not telling him that it cant go like this

im getting sick of it ugh

[cosmic river]

taken for granted

[manic jackal]

Well i forced him to respond

It sucked but yeah

[cosmic river]

having to force someone to pay attention to important matters is already worse