Journal of my life!

[abstract merlin]

Funeral

[grand mesa]

you’re 3 comments away from 5000 after i send this js so yk

[abstract merlin]

Yayyyyy

[regal dawn]

harm less achieve more

[pearl ferry]

Whoa

[grand mesa]

waste of comment #5000

[pearl ferry]

Oh sorry

[abstract merlin]

I’m trying

[abstract merlin]

Doggy

[abstract merlin]

Expensive ahh

[regal dawn]

thats gold

[abstract merlin]

VALENTINES DAY

Good morning everyone

I modded a game I really like

Took pictures of my papa yesterday

[regal dawn]

name?

[abstract merlin]

Gorilla tag

And lethal company

[grand mesa]

i love lethal company

good game

[abstract merlin]

Same

My fav moon is rend

[regal dawn]

fire

i love hugging thumper

[abstract merlin]

How

[regal dawn]

its a joke i cry, scream and run away

[abstract merlin]

SAME

literally turn into a duck

I don’t have the balls to play it alone either

[regal dawn]

yeah the monsters look uhm

disgusting

i use a shotgun mod for morale but hell no

[abstract merlin]

The only decent looking monster imo is bracken and masked

[regal dawn]

bracken is so cute

but hes scary if jumpscare behind you

nutcracker is ok too

[abstract merlin]

He literally murders you immediately I fucking choke when I see him

[abstract merlin]

The eye throws me off

[regal dawn]

yeah i run away from him alot

[abstract merlin]

I only encountered him 4 times I think

[regal dawn]

im scared of nutcracker but atleast hes not disgusting

nutcracker is super rare

[abstract merlin]

Actually?

[regal dawn]

yeah

hes not a common spawn

also depending the moon youll find rarer monsters

[abstract merlin]

The dogs tho

[regal dawn]

the impostor is the most horrifying shit

[regal dawn]

fuck that

those pieces of shit can camp me

[abstract merlin]

LIKE WHEN I RAN THROUGH REND TRYING TO GET TO THE ENTRANCE ONE CAME OUT OF NOWHERE

[grand mesa]

the game is better with people either way

we should all play together some time, noone wants to play it with me

[abstract merlin]

I might

[grand mesa]

ye don’t gotta

i’m just being a fiend 😈

[regal dawn]

yeah when u actually talk in call while the mimic kills you theyll even copy your voice

[abstract merlin]

That makes it even more terrifying

[regal dawn]

very.

so if no one saw you die

theyll think the mimic would be you for a few seconds

my tip is run away

dont fight cause they have alot of hp

[abstract merlin]

Angry

[abstract merlin]

February 15 2024

Fuck Grant dude

[regal dawn]

who iz grant

[abstract merlin]

A very close friend

He told another one a secret

The other one hates me

[regal dawn]

telling secrets is bad

[abstract merlin]

Yeah

The whole gc is gonna hate me

[grand mesa]

grant is a hater ong

[chilly island]

I try to make the ms gc active i promise

[regal dawn]

well damn

[abstract merlin]

February 19 2024

morning

drew a friend of mine

[regal dawn]

bro is 7'1

[abstract merlin]

Yes :3 (he’s shorter than me lmao)

[regal dawn]

so ur 7'2

[wheat wren]

Took a massive dump pookie

🥺

[abstract merlin]

Same pookie 😔

[wheat wren]

Dat toilet water really has that splash splash

[abstract merlin]

NSBSNDJDBS

[wheat wren]

I’m in class rn

😭

Yoooo

Nice pfp btw glitch

I’d smash

[grand mesa]

bro what

[abstract merlin]

February 21 2024

I’m sobbing rn

Like hard sobbing

Idk why I just started sobbing and remembering about papa (grandfather)

[abstract merlin]

Good morning everyone I didn’t sleep at all but that’s alright

I really really appreciate will he’s very cool thank you for being here and im sorry that I uninstalled your ram

Idk why but im happy rn

Probably a mood swing

I have also been watching hopecore so

[regal dawn]

uninstalled what now??

[abstract merlin]

He’s user has I download ram which what he’s told me was a joke between his friends and I joked about it as well

[regal dawn]

i mean why buy ram if you can download it

easy

[abstract merlin]

Fr

OMG I INSPIRED MORE PEOPLE

[abstract merlin]

Drawing a spooky

Sketch

[regal dawn]

live azura reaction

[abstract merlin]

Beautiful

[abstract merlin]

February 22 2024

Good morning parents having loud sex 🫶🏼

I’m gonna try to make eggs

It’s 6 am brodi

[regal dawn]

what the fuck now

[abstract merlin]

Ikr

Dude my cat is licking my coffee help

[regal dawn]

put it away

[abstract merlin]

Oki

[regal dawn]

feline friend wouldnt be able to sleep

[abstract merlin]

Couldn’t even draw 😔

[regal dawn]

the coffee effect is gonna be crazy

[abstract merlin]

I didn’t get any sleep

My sleep schedule is fucked

[regal dawn]

why didnt you sleep?

[abstract merlin]

OH MY FUCKING GOD I CAN HEAR MY MOM GAGGING

IM GONNA CRY WHAT THE FUCK

[abstract merlin]

My sleep schedule, insomnia, anxiety, just a lot is happening too

That’s why I having written in here lately

[regal dawn]

the discomfort is insane and im not even there

[regal dawn]

right im very sorry to hear about that

[abstract merlin]

Ok im happy they’re being nice

[regal dawn]

lets goooooo

[abstract merlin]

Screaming and crying

I’m drawing a friend fanart

[regal dawn]

is this one also screaming and crying

[abstract merlin]

Yes

[abstract merlin]

February 23 2024

I love the mornings sometimes

[regal dawn]

hey atleast you could love the mornings (just not everytime)

[abstract merlin]

I’m watching Hamilton because my love for musicals is growing

I love how unserious Hamilton is

[abstract merlin]

I’m gonna pass out im so tired

[abstract merlin]

i did something wrong again

too lazy to write the title

[grand mesa]

do you need someone to talk to?

[grand mesa]

felt that

[abstract merlin]

might in a bit

this shit is too overwhelming

[grand mesa]

okay, dms are open, if you’d rather talk here just ping me.

i’ll respond as soon as i can

[abstract merlin]

okay thank u i appreciate that

[grand mesa]

of course🙏

[abstract merlin]

im in the wrong again ig

[grand mesa]

wym?

[abstract merlin]

February 25 2024

Debating

[abstract merlin]

Taking a break from the art for personal reasons

[regal dawn]

ay put the gun down

[abstract merlin]

naw

[abstract merlin]

I am so depressed rn I don’t know what im doing with my life

[abstract merlin]

February 26 2024

I hate making vent art but

[abstract merlin]

Idk what to do I hurt someone I really care about and they won’t leave my head

I guess im fine tho

I’m binge watching inside job again

I couldn’t sleep I randomly passed out

I’m so drained from drama

I’ll recover eventually

I want to travel so bad bro

I love looking out my window and slowly seeing the sun rise

[abstract merlin]

I’m still hurt from it

[abstract merlin]

February 28 2024

I lost motivation from everything lol

[regal dawn]

a temporary feeling you will be alright

[abstract merlin]

Old art vs most recent

[chilly island]

Still always cute

[regal dawn]

fire

[abstract merlin]

February 29 2024

Yesterday was a good day

Sorry I didn’t really update

I was busy

[abstract merlin]

march 2 2024

hello

[regal dawn]

whats good

[abstract merlin]

is ur pfp a miata

[grand mesa]

shmexy car

[regal dawn]

180sx

everybody loves miatas

me too

[abstract merlin]

i should be getting one when i am 16

my grandma owned one for a whiled

[regal dawn]

a miata as first car?

damn quite the taste

[abstract merlin]

yeah we just need to upgrade some parts adn repaint it

its ol

old

[regal dawn]

what year?

guessing 1995

LOL

[abstract merlin]

im not sure but its from 1990-2000 somehting

[regal dawn]

oh 1st gen

its a very simple car

[abstract merlin]

im not sure but its old

i can ask my grandma

[regal dawn]

1990 is the first gen

[abstract merlin]

is that bad

[regal dawn]

absolutely not

i grew up to love the cars in late 80s to 90s

[abstract merlin]

1994

made in 1994

[regal dawn]

ur talking about this

its a cutsie for sure

[abstract merlin]

yes but red

[grand mesa]

‘99 accord 4 door is gon be my first car

[regal dawn]

actually id cop one too but isnt their mileage crazy

[abstract merlin]

ooooo

[regal dawn]

red looks nice

[abstract merlin]

the paint is falling off tho

[regal dawn]

you know owning a miata here is considered rare

that's impressive

[abstract merlin]

i might save up to repaint it in the future

[abstract merlin]

wait actually

[grand mesa]

they’re fun. low maintenance and good mileage

[abstract merlin]

holy

[regal dawn]

im from the philippines

they sell mx5's here for overprice bullshit

[abstract merlin]

i currently live in the usa so idk about this

[regal dawn]

my dad owned one i wanna show you a pic but it will take me time

[regal dawn]

yea dont mind us just enjoy your shit fr lmao

[abstract merlin]

lol i really like miatas

idk what color to paint it

[regal dawn]

the miata you guys have is the rare one here the one we usually have is the latest generation

[regal dawn]

i mean id paint it white

idk about you

[abstract merlin]

i really like this

it looks pretty in white

[regal dawn]

for sure

you must love convertibles

[abstract merlin]

my brother made the car loud asf tho

😭

[regal dawn]

well shit

exhaust replacement would be necessary..

[abstract merlin]

he might get a ticket a couple of times

[abstract merlin]

i have a video

[regal dawn]

ill take a look 😇

[abstract merlin]

my wifi sucks 😭

[regal dawn]

honestly car looks fine

[abstract merlin]

from far away

upclose its peeling off

[regal dawn]

hey but

if it works

car is a car

it's decent

[abstract merlin]

yeah :D

i love it

[regal dawn]

happy to hear you got an opportunity to own one

[abstract merlin]

im supprised it still works

my grandma said my brother is borrowing it

[regal dawn]

why does it just rot in a place?

or is it used on the daily

[abstract merlin]

used daily for now

[regal dawn]

i have no knowledge in how mazda builds their engines but some people told me this miatas engine is pretty reliable

[abstract merlin]

i wanna learn more about cars tbh

both of my brothers are mechicanics

or however u spell it

[regal dawn]

well i do not know everything bout cars but you could take your time in reading

[abstract merlin]

i know

[chilly island]

Cars are weird but I like the technology of it

[abstract merlin]

one of my good friends know alot about miatas

[regal dawn]

other than the miata is there anything else you like

[abstract merlin]

i mean i like calliacs and teslas a bit

[regal dawn]

cadillac?

ah yes

[abstract merlin]

i think

my dad had one

[regal dawn]

i love the cts

[abstract merlin]

but he crashed it

[regal dawn]

i grew up with hondas

so i dont know much about american cars

[abstract merlin]

i dont know much about cars period i wanna study expensive/high tech cars

[regal dawn]

interesting..

[abstract merlin]

i like trucks and motorcycles

i dont really have freedom i have to stay inside most of the time

[regal dawn]

honestly i do but i just stay inside

i go outside like weekends

[abstract merlin]

i love going places

i went somehwere with my cousin and her bf

[abstract merlin]

i hate myself but cant show it yay

[regal dawn]

dont miata queen!!

[regal dawn]

miles tails prower and sonic!?!?!

i love em

[abstract merlin]

i do too

[regal dawn]

fire

[abstract merlin]

im watching shameless rn

[abstract merlin]

February 4 2024

I fell asleep watching shameless 😭

But@i start school today

I figured i already get my work done since it’s 05:18

Idk how to start it nvm

[abstract merlin]

Sketch for something im making and will hopefully finish

[abstract merlin]

I think im getting ignored

[wheat wren]

f-f-for me?

@abstract merlin

[regal dawn]

those pronouns r crazyyyy

[abstract merlin]

OMG HELLO HI

[abstract merlin]

Real

[abstract merlin]

march 5 2024

tommorow is my dads birthday

[regal dawn]

happy birthday glitchy father

[abstract merlin]

yipie

bored so im checking out an old game

real

😭 🙏

which one do yall think is better?

im sorry man 🙏

im shocked that i inspired other people

prob

jesus

holy

its a shapeshifter i was the bird

[abstract merlin]

who reacted with the kiss face 😭

prolly

i dont anything to do im bored asf

i can play games but that gets boring quick imo

[regal dawn]

bottom left

looks kinda peaceful

[abstract merlin]

i really like all

they are all audio responsive

[abstract merlin]

shouldnt have told him

[abstract merlin]

Gc drama is killing me

Idk what to do anymore

[grand mesa]

leave it

[abstract merlin]

I did but somehow they still bring it to me

[grand mesa]

do you genuinely enjoy their company?

[abstract merlin]

Sometimes but the drama is killing me

[grand mesa]

well you should tell them if they dont quit involving you in it you will stop talking to them until the drama is over

and that will tell you if they are genuine

[abstract merlin]

sorry that i caused u pain dw, im ending the torture u face<3

sorry for the broken promises, sorry for the breakdowns, sorry for the arguments, sorry for my illnesses, sorry for being terrible, sorry for “not trying hard enough”, sorry for being useless, sorry for being ungrateful, sorry for being annoying, sorry for being worthless, sorry for not being perfect 🫶🏼

[grave sinew]

Are you okay?

[chilly island]

She isn’t really there’s stuff going on

[grave sinew]

Oh

[abstract merlin]

my mood swings are hitting like crazy and there’s alot going on, it’s fucking me up

[grave sinew]

If you ever need to talk my dms are open 🫶/p

[abstract merlin]

I appreciate it <3/p

[abstract merlin]

March 7th 2024

I HAVE TO GO ON ZOOM CALLS FOR MY CLASSES

IM PANIVING

[abstract merlin]

hehe

@chilly island thanks for taking the photos

[chilly island]

No problem dear

[abstract merlin]

dude i love this song

https://open.spotify.com/track/09OwM0ds42BbreHQSntmyH?si=30940b3addab4e93 https://open.spotify.com/track/6mugfZWz63m4VwRgW9Pbrd?si=fe0dd4a94fae45a2

well theyre two but

[chilly island]

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna turn around

[abstract merlin]

just noticed a mod can see my forum and reacted, so hai :D

[regal dawn]

LOL

[abstract merlin]

im modding fn

i cant sleep

😭

[regal dawn]

what is fn

[wheat wren]

IM GONNA

SLEEP

[abstract merlin]

Fortnite

[abstract merlin]

March 8th 2024

MAPPAT IS QUITTING TMR

[abstract merlin]

hey everyone, if someone or anyone take their time to help @chilly island in his form that would be great. he appreciates all the help he can get 🫶🏼 https://discord.com/channels/662341325353385985/1215820685113430056

.

kinda giving up on being “perfect”

[abstract merlin]

March9th 2024

i just wanted a break man

[neat patrol]

I'm proud you've come this far

[abstract merlin]

Thank you <33/p

[lunar bone]

wow this is amazing i wonder if i should start one of these here

[abstract merlin]

You can if u like

It helps me a lot

[chilly island]

You inspire so many people with this journal im proud of you

[abstract merlin]

March 12 2024

What fucking ideas.

I wanted a break from us so I could find myself

I got fucking raped give me a break

[regal dawn]

holy shit

[abstract merlin]

Huh?

[regal dawn]

damn i am very sorry to hear that

[abstract merlin]

It’s all good

I’m overwhelmed honestly

I’m trying my hardest

[regal dawn]

whats going on?

[abstract merlin]

There is a lot of pressure on me rn

People expect me to be perfect

[regal dawn]

man if it aint one of the things i hate the most

expectations

[abstract merlin]

Ikr

[abstract merlin]

Might get left again

My hearts fucking aching

I’m in pain

[abstract merlin]

I’m a combine :D

[regal dawn]

oh my god gman live reaction

[abstract merlin]

I’m a combine :D

[chilly island]

Hi combine

:DD

I hate the auto emojis

[regal dawn]

for pc you can change the setting

idk why it's not in mobile

[abstract merlin]

FR

oop

caps

i found a song about walten files that i like

https://open.spotify.com/album/1vkJeQPRP1cRMLpaFGk5AK?si=_kftPeggQNC-rL9gbQ7Llg

[abstract merlin]

im pretty drained rn

but i wanna thank u all for 40 hearts and all the supoport ive gotten, it means the world to me. ❤️

[regal dawn]

the celebrity

[abstract merlin]

MY Y ART BLOCK IS GONE

IM SO HAPPY

[abstract merlin]

Remaking this

[regal dawn]

that head is crazy

[abstract merlin]

fuck that fucking gc im tired of getting pushed around dawg 😹 🙏

[regal dawn]

i usually just stop talking until they remove me

[abstract merlin]

i left it

it’s fucking funny

[regal dawn]

it aint my problem but it dont mean im sad

[abstract merlin]

the guy makes me uncomfortable

“please he won’t do it again” shut your bitch ass up bro idfc

[regal dawn]

its over now, you are free

[regal dawn]

buy unregistered firearms (optional)

[abstract merlin]

yesssssssss

[abstract merlin]

i want to cry so bad but i cant be weak anymore

[chilly island]

Baby it dosent makes you weak

[abstract merlin]

March 18 2024

Small art dump

[abstract merlin]

He talks alot of shit behind my back..

I’m getting held like a hostage and the pressure is so overwhelming to the point where idk what to do anymore

[pallid oyster]

Still better than me

[pallid oyster]

Who

[abstract merlin]

Someone special to me

[pallid oyster]

Only strong can cry

[abstract merlin]

W pfp

[pallid oyster]

Ur partner?

[pallid oyster]

W you

Have u watched my neighbor toto?

[abstract merlin]

Yeah, it kinda hurts

[abstract merlin]

I want to but idk where to watch it

[pallid oyster]

U didn't keep ur mental health as priority?

[abstract merlin]

I can’t

[pallid oyster]

Guess ur relationship is either new or ^

[pallid oyster]

Why

In relationship ur mental health should be priority

[abstract merlin]

A year

[pallid oyster]

If he cant understand u when u are going through depression u must talk it out

Otherwise

Make friends

[abstract merlin]

I did i tried explaining but i always end up overwhelmed and in tears

[pallid oyster]

Does he understand or calm u down?

[abstract merlin]

I think he understand but no he confronts me still

[pallid oyster]

Then what did u mean by this

[pallid oyster]

^

If he understands, why would he make fun of ur misery

[abstract merlin]

I read something he made

And he isn’t making fun of me

[pallid oyster]

Then thats fine

U just need to prioritize ur mental health

For the time being

[pallid oyster]

Was that some birthday card?

[abstract merlin]

No

[pallid oyster]

I see

It seems like u wanna keep it to yourself, and so, have a nice day

But prioritize urself

[abstract merlin]

It was a journal thing

[regal dawn]

im like switching journals and its like 2 walls

[abstract merlin]

Sorry

[regal dawn]

dont worry i just wish i could help you both

my solutions are difficult to do

[wheat wren]

HEYYYYY GLITCH'

[abstract merlin]

HIIIIIII

[pallid oyster]

oooo its ur journal

mbmb

💀

[abstract merlin]

It’s good lolll

😭

[pallid oyster]

I mean i thought i am main character

I mistakenly slipped into boss chamber from npc house

[abstract merlin]

Nah that’s crazy 🙏

[pallid oyster]

Fr fr

Hruu?

[abstract merlin]

Great im just questioning my existence cause wtf..

[abstract merlin]

Wbu

[pallid oyster]

Bro thinks he is cooking

No offense but he titled it big age gap

But thats literally 2 decades

More than double his age

[abstract merlin]

I KNOW

[chilly island]

ONG

[pallid oyster]

Like fr

[chilly island]

ITS FUCKING WIERD

[pallid oyster]

Ikrrr

Bro aint cooking

Bro is gonna be cooked

[chilly island]

LIKE IM GLAD YOUR HAPPY BUT WAIT LIKE 2 YEATS

It gonna be like

[abstract merlin]

It’s gojo evil twin mojo

[chilly island]

Did you pray today?

[abstract merlin]

Axen don’t

[chilly island]

I’m kidding

[pallid oyster]

Well if it were 1 or 2...

[pallid oyster]

Damn too many autocorrects

[abstract merlin]

My mom is so bitchy

I’m sorry but

My mom won’t stop bitching..

[pallid oyster]

Let her bitch

Ngl some moms are more bitchier than them betches

[abstract merlin]

I do

[pallid oyster]

These moms are wannabebitch

Dont let em cook

They'll burn

Btw which of u two if boy and girl 😭

Same font fr

[abstract merlin]

I’m female

Axen is male

[chilly island]

It’s really got me like

[pallid oyster]

Axen is more girly

No offense

Whenever i talk to him

[abstract merlin]

He’s a femboyso

[pallid oyster]

Ngl im gonna steal him from u 😭

(Jk)

[abstract merlin]

Bitch PLEASE

[pallid oyster]

(I aint gae)

[abstract merlin]

Whatchu tryin to do (jk)

[pallid oyster]

Dw bro i aint gae

[pallid oyster]

Omg lol

[abstract merlin]

Not even for the homies

???

[pallid oyster]

L homies

W her

[chilly island]

Ong

[abstract merlin]

WWWWW

W take ong

[chilly island]

I have ligma

[abstract merlin]

No

[chilly island]

Ligma is a eye disease

[pallid oyster]

Ligma

[pallid oyster]

Frfr

[chilly island]

Ball

Ball aids

[pallid oyster]

Double it and give it to the next person

[abstract merlin]

i tried stabbing myself to death

[chilly island]

Yeah that wasent a nice experience…

I’m just glad your okay

[abstract merlin]

I’m so sorry

[neat patrol]

so u stabbed urself

did u go hospital

[abstract merlin]

no it wasnt a fatal cut i treated it

[neat patrol]

I’m glad you’re okay

[abstract merlin]

thank you

think im getting ignored for qwanting a break since i stabbed myself today

its happenening again

it wont fucking end

[neat patrol]

so u never rly stabbed urself

if u did u would be in hospital

[hollow saddle]

I think they mean sh

[chilly island]

Mf

[neat patrol]

Bruh u can stab urself and not be in the hospital

What do u think most of people who ||self harm|| with knives do

[chilly island]

It wasent that deep dumbass it’s not worth going to the doctor because they can’t do shit bc it’s not that big of a wound

Why tf is this guy still here

All he dose is be a Jackass

[regal dawn]

dont reply to him

responding back to him gets you nothing because he doesnt care about what you say therefore not responding to him saves you time logically

[neat patrol]

a stab is deep

should just say cut then

[chilly island]

Not really

A cut is not even in the skin

[regal dawn]

and logically i also cant have people listening here so never mind

[neat patrol]

yes if u stab urself its deep

if i push a knife into you it will be deep bro

[chilly island]

A cut is slicing the skin with the thing while not going deep

Most of the time not even in the skin

[abstract merlin]

respectfully get out of my form

[neat patrol]

a stab is when u penetrate the skin

[abstract merlin]

that is what i did it wasn’t fatal cause it wasn’t more then 5 inches deep or 5 inches wide and hasn’t been infected

[abstract merlin]

im driving myself mad

[abstract merlin]

March 23rd 2024

eyes hurt from crying

i just did what you wanted why did you get in my face.

[regal dawn]

huh

[regal dawn]

the actual context sounds insane

oh shit

[abstract merlin]

i think i have the audio of what he did

[regal dawn]

did what exactly if you want to answer?

[abstract merlin]

he struck my mom

when i was talking to him he gaslit me

[regal dawn]

holy shit

these abusers man tf

[abstract merlin]

i feel terrible

[pallid oyster]

Didnt u get banned

[pallid oyster]

Throw away any sharp objects

[pallid oyster]

This guy need serious help (he got banned anyway)

[pallid oyster]

Who

[pallid oyster]

Hey u okay?

[timber badge]

heyy can i help u or sum

?

[abstract merlin]

sure

[abstract merlin]

my father

[timber badge]

u wanna dm'

?

[abstract merlin]

sure

[abstract merlin]

trying boba for the first time

[abstract merlin]

miss you 🫶🏼

[regal dawn]

Its good

[abstract merlin]

the balls where slimy

it was weird

no.

[pallid oyster]

Wait what happened

??

[abstract merlin]

idk.

[pallid oyster]

It will be alright hopefully

[abstract merlin]

this is all so much

[pallid oyster]

Who are they to u?

More importantly why they said it like this 😭

[abstract merlin]

my best friend

[pallid oyster]

Oh i hope they are just alright

Dont take burden

[abstract merlin]

i just discovered my new hyper fixation

[regal dawn]

I used them as a pfp back then

(they are not winning shit in cqc)

[abstract merlin]

that’s crazy

[chilly island]

Lol

[abstract merlin]

he spammed me kys ni after

so

[chilly island]

Asshole

I’m sorry love

[abstract merlin]

it’s ok

didn’t really hurt lol

[abstract merlin]

the forums disappeared for a bit

[abstract merlin]

blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood

[chilly island]

She’s is not okay if uh anyone can help please do

[regal dawn]

splatter

[pallid oyster]

Wut happen

[pallid oyster]

Oo

[wheat wren]

HALLO

GLITCH

[abstract merlin]

hello!!

[abstract merlin]

March 26 2024

i started violently sobbing at 3 am cause of a tiktok trend that reminded me of my papas/grandpas death bro 😭🙏

[chilly island]

It’s gonna be okay

[abstract merlin]

i fell empty

but im good

[abstract merlin]

March 30th 2024

im at a event

[abstract merlin]

getting ignored

kinda hurts tbh

[abstract merlin]

April 2nd 2024

Today is a busy day

I lost my closest friend

I’m moving on but when we spilt I started having a meltdown people are noticing that im overwhelmed and it is getting bad

I wasn’t venting to a friend and she said it in the nicest tone that I should get a therapist and I told her I couldn’t afford one and it wasn’t my intention to trauma dump on her because I only said one thin

I’m gonna try to work on myself as is

I just feel like shit

I need new friends

I want new friends

I don’t want to be trapped in one gc anymore

[chilly island]

I’m so sorry hun

[chilly island]

An we still have the Microsoft gc or we can make a new one

[regal dawn]

Microsoft azure?

[abstract merlin]

my name used to be soft and as a gag they named it microsoft

[abstract merlin]

im fucking tired of this shit im sorry but i dont wanna call with no purpose

[regal dawn]

oh shit

[abstract merlin]

its all good

i have to do school work until moms home

[abstract merlin]

I feel empty and broken

[abstract merlin]

April 6 2024

I just want a break

[abstract merlin]

April 7 2024

Trying to work on disturbing stuff

[true sorrel]

Are you okay

[abstract merlin]

I have no idea

April 8th 2024

Her>> (disturbing)

[abstract merlin]

april 9th 2024

OBSESSED WITH THIS

[shy aurora]

I like plant to0

[abstract merlin]

I love plants

Just not pollen

I’m so sad rn dawg

[abstract merlin]

April 13th 2024

My drawing tablet arrived yesterday, here’s some art I’ve made

[true sorrel]

what drawing tablet is it

[abstract merlin]

Ugge s460

Fuck

Ugee

[abstract merlin]

April 15 2024

I’m gonna try to post here again

[hollow saddle]

Cursed

[abstract merlin]

Yippie!

[abstract merlin]

April 17 2024

Gah

[hollow saddle]

Gah

[abstract merlin]

HELLO EVERYONE IM SORRY I DIDNY WRITE

April 25 2024

I can’t sleep

[abstract merlin]

Doing a commission for someone

[tawny arrow]

Nice

[abstract merlin]

PRICES FOR COMMS (the person won a raffle a hosted 😼)

[abstract merlin]

Super excited to start helping my parents pay for bills, i hope this will also help me save up for improvements on my room and setup 😭

[abstract merlin]

real!

[abstract merlin]

sigh.

im so tired rn i wanna sleep

[abstract merlin]

WHAT

[abstract merlin]

It’s hard for me to swallow rn

It feels like my throats closing

[abstract merlin]

WHY IS MY ONLY RICH FRIEND SO GENEROUS

I FEEL BAD

[abstract merlin]

what did I fucking do

[abstract merlin]

Drew myself cause I’m cool

[regal dawn]

nice drawing

[abstract merlin]

Made another

[shadow idol]

bro thats pure luck

I dont got any real friends

they all after my wealth

only one thats not after my wealth

like my bff

[abstract merlin]

I expressed that I didn’t want any money, I don’t want anyone to waste their money on me especially my friends

But they insisted

I knew them before they got wealthy

[abstract merlin]

They broke up with me again

[abstract merlin]

Honestly im too drained to even think about it

[abstract merlin]

i fucking miss him

i think he’s replacing me

he’s literally promised hours before that he wouldn’t leave

here comes the crying

[exotic cairn]

u ok @abstract merlin we all support u

my dad left me

[abstract merlin]

im going through it

[abstract merlin]

im very sorry to hear that

[exotic cairn]

it’s ok

we just have to do fun stuff

like hang with ur bf or siblings if they say stuff wave it away or just say u know what ur right i will eat if u dont wanan say no u have rights

[abstract merlin]

it’s kind of hard to do anything when this happened so many times

my bf is fine

gone

[exotic cairn]

oh

[abstract merlin]

that’s what I’m upset over

[exotic cairn]

i almost hanged myself cuz of v#bullies

[abstract merlin]

relatable im very sorry to hear that

[exotic cairn]

ty

u will get chances for everything

[abstract merlin]

he said he will see if we can date in a few months

he has done this a lot.

[exotic cairn]

u have a life live it by any means necercery

how old are u

[exotic cairn]

same

i won’t judge

[abstract merlin]

im tired of feeling used. i feel like a rebound if that makes sense

[exotic cairn]

have u try making other plans

[abstract merlin]

wdym?

[exotic cairn]

having fun with him

?

[abstract merlin]

no, he’s being dry and I don’t think he even wants to talk

[exotic cairn]

is he manipulating u?

[abstract merlin]

i don’t even know

a lot of people told me he was

he said he doesn’t know he is being manipulative

[exotic cairn]

does he tell u smth to do if u don’t do it he will breakup

[abstract merlin]

a couple of things

[exotic cairn]

he says it

?

[abstract merlin]

yes

to some things

too self harm and smoking

but here we are

[exotic cairn]

wow i did that shit it got me here

[abstract merlin]

I haven’t smoked since January

[exotic cairn]

i know the expert for this

[abstract merlin]

can’t afford a theripast

can’t talk to my parents about it

have to keep it to myself

[exotic cairn]

we have therapist for free

lol

[abstract merlin]

lol

[exotic cairn]

1-1

talk

[abstract merlin]

huh

[exotic cairn]

@dapper plank or @spice kiln

one of u come

[abstract merlin]

who are they

[exotic cairn]

therapists

older

[abstract merlin]

liscened?

i never had a actual therapist

[exotic cairn]

idk but wat i know

about this time yesterday night i almost took my live

then somone told me to seek help

i’m here now

[abstract merlin]

honestly i feel numb and sad

i feel like it’s something im used too

[exotic cairn]

what are ur hobbies

[abstract merlin]

drawing that’s all i can think off

[exotic cairn]

well why don’t u put a headphone on and drawl same time eat mir fave food

[abstract merlin]

i don’t eat much and it’s 3 am for me

im just blankly staring at my phone

[exotic cairn]

asian time

[abstract merlin]

ah i see

[exotic cairn]

u don’t sleep

?

[abstract merlin]

insomniac

[exotic cairn]

welll first dunk ur face in ur bed deely see only black

u will fall asleep

[abstract merlin]

im gonna suffocate 😭

[exotic cairn]

or turn of u light

[exotic cairn]

lol ur striong

[abstract merlin]

hm?

[exotic cairn]

strong

[abstract merlin]

ah

[exotic cairn]

turn of lights

[abstract merlin]

they’re off

[exotic cairn]

slowly listen to chill music drink water lie down

[abstract merlin]

oki

[exotic cairn]

that’s a good night

[abstract merlin]

Morning

I’m still very upset

Ig i was right lmao

Just over and over and over again

I keep letting it happen

That’s my life

I hate acting like nothing happened it hurts

I don’t want to hope he texts me why do i still care after everything.

What fucking happened to me

I don’t feel good at all i feel sick

I feel disgusting

I feel just used

I don’t want to be like this

Why am i like this

I’m overwhelmed with emotion im upset and angry

Why do I let him do this

He promised he wouldn’t

I hate waking up without a text and just feeling empty

I’m just watching someone play gmod tired and numb

Sometimes i wonder what would happen if i just took my life

Would they care

Idk

But im not going too

But i really want too

[abstract merlin]

sigh.

[abstract merlin]

Well he doesn’t want to talk

This is it huh

After all the promisies

My heart is racing I don’t feel good

I miss him a lot, why can’t I move on like he did

[abstract merlin]

Good night, im debating weither or not to end it tomorrow

All I can think about is us calling the night before

[abstract merlin]

I trust him. I just have to wait

[abstract merlin]

Going through the pissed stage of a breakup

I’m just tired

[abstract merlin]

He is doing great without me

Why can’t i just move on

Fuck man

He thinks im not alone but i am. I left the gc and im currently taking a break and isolating myself because I didn’t want anyone to know.

I’m thinking of joining back

[abstract merlin]

Knew he was gonna leave to. That’s the worse part.

I just tried to make it last as long as I could

That’s idiotic of me

Knowing that I tried really hard to make him know I love him

Why

Why did I do this to myself

Just gotta joke my way through it

[abstract merlin]

Crying about him again im pissed at myself for it

[abstract merlin]

MY FAVORITE CHARACTER DIED ON SHAMELESS

IM CRYING

I’m literally bawling because they made it so sad for no reason

It’s not like I have enough going on ☹️

STOP.

IM CRYING SO HABRD RN

IM DONE

I CANT DO THIS SHOW BRO

[abstract merlin]

Now im just tired and drained

[abstract merlin]

Saw his name now im sad

It’s hard to believe in love rn

I’m getting better I’m trying to forget

[abstract merlin]

I forgot until now

The memories are flooding in

I’m not sad just numb

[abstract merlin]

I feel a lot better

I’m still sad but

I have hope for possibly dating again but

Maybe soon

I don’t know

[abstract merlin]

Saw his fucking Journal

Now im pissed

And really upset

Can’t believe im crying again over him.

I saw this coming anyway

sigh.

All fucking day I was thinking maybe there’s a chance but no

I’m a fucking idiot

[exotic cairn]

find a new bf my head hurts en i have to go fucking school

[abstract merlin]

I can’t fucking replace him (not trying to be rude im genuinely very upset)

[exotic cairn]

ur 12 right!

?

[abstract merlin]

no 13

[exotic cairn]

ahh same

[abstract merlin]

I’m fucking pissed

I really am

[exotic cairn]

how long was the relationship?

cuz i see here with what u wrote u guys love each other

[abstract merlin]

A year.

I tried fucking moving on

But every time I couldn’t

And the fact that he went behind my back boils my blood.

Finding out this way is the worse way I could fucking find out

[exotic cairn]

dam

[abstract merlin]

Like dude.

[exotic cairn]

i never had a relationship

[abstract merlin]

Im@sorry to hear that

I was the only fucking one there for him

I thought it would last another year at best

I’m a fool for thinking that

[exotic cairn]

i had crushed no one accepted me

i was like is it bc i’m still a teenager?

or

then i had this freinds

mostly a gang by now

i was the og there till i releve i had a dream to focus on life they wanted me full attention i dint give them so they bullied me

to the phase of deppression anxiety and sudden mad

[abstract merlin]

I’m very sorry for that

[exotic cairn]

it’s ok

like i said in my re lesson one time

life is not a happy begginning or happy ending in life there’s smth called surfering

[abstract merlin]

I’m sorry but I don’t think I can move on

He keeps coming back

[exotic cairn]

may i know how

[abstract merlin]

I need a bit

[exotic cairn]

why don’t u do smth fun and block the gate

lock it

[abstract merlin]

What?

[exotic cairn]

nvm

[abstract merlin]

He’s replying

[exotic cairn]

👍

[abstract merlin]

My heart stopped

[exotic cairn]

?

what heppened

[exotic cairn]

oh take ur time

in mean time i’ll listen to music

i wanna isolate myself

i haven’t slept for 2 days and it’s fucking kinking me

killing*

[abstract merlin]

I handled it im just stressed

[abstract merlin]

starting to cry again

[exotic cairn]

it’s ok

[abstract merlin]

i’m doing decent today

i reunited with a close friend of mine

his name is peter and he’s long distance sadly

he’s pretty cool